Thanksgiving Smiles... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super hot scorcher comes from not one or even two but a whopping 6 of our friends. It is combined from forwards from Linda, Nancy, PatDeE, Geniann, Richard, and SharonA. Plenty of Ooos and Awws for you. I love how they have a little interesting information about each. Check them out here... _..._ \_.._ `'-.,--, '-._'-. `\a\\ '. `_.' (| `7 || / .' | /_.-' ,J / \ || / ; _.. || | | /`\.-. .' _ `\ `\ \ | \_/__/ / /e)-,\ '. \ /.-` .'\ / | ,_ | /\ `;_.-'_.-'`\_/ / '-(-.)/ \_;(((_.-; .'--. \ ` .(((_,;`'. \ / `\ | _.--'`__.' `\ '-;\ /` | /.-' .--' '._.'\\ .' ; /__.-'` | \ | .'`-'_ /_.'))) \_\,_/ / -'_.'---;`'-))) (__.'/ /` .'` (_.'/ /` /` _|.' /` jgs.-` __.'| .-'|| | \_`/ ` Beautiful Exotic Birds http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/exoticbirds.html Beautiful Exotic Birds 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/exoticbirds.html --- ...Absolutely Stunning! Thank You My Friends! For those of you who have had the pleasure of taking care of a little bird, you will know what I am talking about here - One thing I miss the most about having a bird is the feeling of his little feet as he stood on my finger. Nothing can replace that. God sure did make them awesome! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: .-----,,----------------------------------------,_ : ||---------------------------------------< `-._ : ||----------------------------------------> _D jgs : ||---------------------------------------< _.-' `-----``----------------------------------------' How To Write A Paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonald's and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double- spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop him. 5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it. 7. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate. 8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror. 9. Listen to one side of your favorite tape and that's it, I mean it, as soon as it's over you are going to start that paper. 10. Listen to the other side. 11. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order. ___, _.-'` __|__ 12. Phone your friend on the other floor .' ,-:` \;',`'-, and ask if he's started writing yet. / .'-;_,; ':-;_,'. Exchange derogatory remarks about your / /; '/ , _`.-\ teacher, the course, the university, the | | '`. (` /` ` \`| world at large. | |:. `\`-. \_ / | | | ( `, .`\ ;'| 13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair \ \ | .' `-'/ in a clean, well lighted place with plenty \ `. ;/ .' of freshly sharpened pencils. '._ `'-._____.-'` `-.____| 14. Read over the assignment again; roll _____|_____ the words across your tongue; savor its jgs /___________\ special flavor. 15. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to Sgt. Preston of the Yukon, is truly worthwhile, with these exceptions: \ / a) Pro Bowler's Tour \/ .===============. b) any movie starring Don Ameche. | .-----------. | | | / \ | | | | | ^.^ | | | 16. Catch the last hour of soul Brother | | \ - / | | of Kung Fu on channel 26. | '-----------'o| |===============| 17. Phone your friend on the third floor jgs |###############| to see if he was watching. Discuss the '===============' finer points of the plot. 18. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror. 19. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is. 20. Sit down and do some serious thing about your /|~|\ plans for the future. / |=| \ / | | \ 21. Open your door and check to see if there are | | | | any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking | | | | in the hall. | | | | | |=| | 22. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a | //A\\ | clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly | /// \\\ | sharpened pencils. |/// \\\| ` ` 23. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the hell of it. | 24. Scoot your chair across \ / the room to the window and .-'-. watch the -- / \ -- sunrise. `~~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^-=======-~^~^~^~~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~` `~^_~^~^~-~^_~^~^_~-=========- -~^~^~^-~^~^_~^~^~^~` 25. Lie face `~^~-~~^~^~-^~^_~^~~ -=====- ~^~^~-~^~_~^~^~~^~-~^~` down on the `jgs^~-~^~~^~-~^~~-~^~^~-~^~~^-~^~^~^-~^~^~^~^~~^~-` floor and moan. 26. Leap up and write the paper. 27. Type the paper. 28. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write the darn paper. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ November 25 is National Parfait Day November 26 is Shopping Reminder Day November 27 is Pins and Needles Day November 28 is Black Friday, Buy Nothing Day and You're Welcome Day November 29 is Square Dance Day November 30 is Stay At Home Because You Are Well Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: I AM Smiling _..-""""-.._ _.-' `-._ / \ : .-'; ;'-. : | / _.-: :-._ \ | : ; ; o/ \o ; ; : / \_!-' '-!_/ \ :'-..__ __..-': / \ / \ .'\ \ / /'. .' ; `-. .-' ; '. ; : '..' : ; : | __...__ | : ; | .-' `-. | ; : : / \ : : : / / \ \ : ; .' : : '. ; ; : : : : ; ; : : : : ; : / : : \ : ;; \ / ;; ;-. '-. , .-' .-; ;;'-... '-..___..-' ...-';; ";, \ ""--....________....--""/ ,;" '. .' '. .' \ / \ / : : : : : \ / : / '. .' \ .' _. / : : '. ____________________"/_) : ') \_/ (' : ( \"_______________fsc__ '-\ '-.' '.-' /-' >Credit Verify Standing in line at the clothing store's counter, I watched as the woman ahead of me handed the clerk her credit card. The customer waited for a long time while the saleswoman went to verify the account. When she finally returned, the clerk said, "I'm sorry, but this card is in your husband's name, and we can't accept it because the records show that he is deceased." With that, the woman turned to her husband, who was standing next to her and asked, "Does this mean I don't have to fix lunch for you today?" -<>- >Dive Crew As a commercial diver in the offshore oil fields of the Gulf of Mexico, I was assigned to a job on board a derrick barge. After my dive I spent the required time in the decompression chamber, and went to bed. Later I walked into the TV room, where I was surprised to see the entire dive crew sitting around. I asked one colleague, dressed in his wet suit, why work had stopped. Without looking up at me, he replied, "It's raining." -<>- >Drivers Education Exam Answers Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do." Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your steering wheel. Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? A: The color. Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic? A: Heavy psychedelics. -<>- >Long Eyelashes Frequently complimented on what a pretty girl she was, five-year-old Maria had become fairly used to relatives' and friends' comments. One evening my friend Eleanor came to visit just as Maria was being tucked into bed, so she came to say good night. "My," Eleanor said, "you have really long eyelashes!" "Yes," said Maria. "They should be long. I've been growing them for five years," she paused, "and I never cut them once." -<>- >New Tatoo Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seem to go hand and hand these days. I wasn't surprised when one of my daughter's friends showed me a delicate little Japanese symbol on her hip. "Please don't tell my parents," she begged. "I won't," I promised. "By the way, what does that stand for?" "Honesty," she said. ========================================================= >-->HAPPY THANKSGIVING H A P P Y B L E S S E D T H A N K S G I V I N G T O Y O U A N D Y O U R S ! ____ : : ___ :____: ___ ---\ ~~ /---___ : []: \ \ ~ \~ /~~~/~~~/ ----,------- ,' \~~ \~~ \/ ~~/~~~/ `, ,' 0 0 __ -_~~ \ \,------, / ~ _` ; _____\ ; - _ \,'^^^^^^^ ""`,_- \ `, `--'; u ; ~~ ,'^^^^----------- / ,'`,,,' ;~ ---, ^^^,`__----, ..`,/ ,'..,' `, ~ ,^^ <_'__--__ `, .. `,/ .. ` `,---` ^<________-- `, .. .. ,' ___ [] ___ `,---` <__ -__ ___ ,' .. . ,` _/ \)(/ \_ `, --` <__ __ _ ,' ... _,` / / \ \ `--,___<___ ,'`-___,' ,' : | `, <___,'(||) : : : || || : : | ; __||_ _||_ \_ : _/ // ;;\\ ;;\\ \_ \ | / _/ ~~ ~~ ~~ \__________/ %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% >Thanksgiving Short Jokes Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? A: Plymouth Rock Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? A: Pilgrims Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church? A: They use FOWL language. Q: Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? A: It had 24 carrots. Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight? A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him! ,+*^^*+___+++_ ,*^^^^ ) _+* ^**+_ +^ _ _++*+_+++_, ) _+^^*+_ ( ,+*^ ^ \+_ ) { ) ( ,( ,_+--+--, ^) ^\ { (@) } f ,( ,+-^ __*_*_ ^^\_ ^\ ) {:;-/ (_+*-+^^^^^+*+*<_ _++_)_ ) ) / ( / ( ( ,___ ^*+_+* ) < < \ U _/ ) *--< ) ^\-----++__) ) ) ) ( ) _(^)^^)) ) )\^^^^^))^*+/ / / ( / (_))_^)) ) ) ))^^^^^))^^^)__/ +^^ ( ,/ (^))^)) ) ) ))^^^^^^^))^^) _) *+__+* (_))^) ) ) ))^^^^^^))^^^^^)____*^ \ \_)^)_)) ))^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^) (_ ^\__^^^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^^^^) ^\___ ^\__^^^^^^))^^^^^^^^)\\ From: ^^^^^\uuu/^^\uuu/^^^^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\ Keely 11/93 ___) >____) >___ ^\_\_\_\_\_\_\) ^^^//\\_^^//\\_^ ^(\_\_\_\) ^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^^ Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A: A turkey that can pluck itself! Q: What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? A: Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all. Q: Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring? A: Because April showers bring Mayflowers! Dear Turkeys, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, women. Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn? A: Where's popcorn? Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? A: Their AGE! Q: Why do pilgrims pants keep falling down? A: Because their belt buckles are on their hats! Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band? A: Because he had the drumsticks Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: "If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!" .--. /} p \ /} `~)-) / /` } ( / / /`}.' } / / .-'""-. / ' }-'} / (.' \/ '.'}_.} | `} .}._} | .-=-'; } ' }_.} \ `.-=-;' } '.}.-} '. -=-' ;,}._.} `-,_ __.'` '-._} jgs `||| .=='=, Q: What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? A: If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy! Q: What if the Pilgrims shot a bobcat instead of a turkey? A: We'd be eating pussy for Thanksgiving! Q: If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want? A: It simply wants to run away. Q: What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? A: God save the kin. Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? A: The outside Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey? A: They suspected it of fowl play Q: What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? A: The turKEY Q: What did the turkey say before it was roasted? A: Boy! I'm stuffed! Q: What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? A: He had an arrow escape .-"""""""-. { _____}---. .-. { / ( o\ { / \ \V { | _\ \. { | / '-' \ HAPPY TURKEY DAY !! {___\ /\______/ __/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~/ / /____// '--'\___/ \___/ '\_ \_ _Dana'97_ /\ /\ Q: What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? A: To be or not to be roasted, that is the question. Q: Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? A: Because they never learned good table manners! Q: What sound does a space turkey make? A: Hubble, Hubble, Hubble! Q: What key has legs and can't open doors? A: A Turkey. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: It was the chicken's day off! Q: Which cat discovered America? A: Christofurry Columbus Q: What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called? A: Turkey feathers Q: What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? A: The turkey trot Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? A: Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving .---. |_X_| ___ [_____] / _ \ // \\ | / \ | | " | || " || __\___/__ __\\_//__ /\_______/\ / | U | \/ _ : _ \ ( (|___|) )/ \ : / \ \ \_ / \ _/ \ /=====\ / / /| |\ './___:___\.' ; | | ; | | | | | | | | | | | \_____/ | |--|--| '._______.' |LI|LI| jgs \/ \/ \_/ \_/ Q: What do you call the age of a pilgrim? A: Pilgrimage. Q:What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? A: Puritan. Q: What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain? A: Pil-grimace. Q: What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary? A: Pilgrammar. Q: What do modern day Native Americans call a pilgrim? A: Pilgrim Reaper. Q: What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? A: He had an arrow escape. Q: What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? A: Fangs-giving. Q: What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A: A poultrygeist! Q: Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? A: The turkey because he's already stuffed! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ______ .-"""".._'. _,## _..__ |.-"""-.| | _,##'`-._ (_____)||_____|| |_,##'`-._,##'` _| |.;-""-. | |#'`-._,##'` _.;_ `--' `\ \ |.'`\._,##'` /.-.\ `\ |.-";.`_, |##'` |\__/ | _..;__ |'-' / '.____.'_.-`)\--' /'-'` //||\\(_.-'_,'-'` (`-...-')_,##'` jgs _,##`-..,-;##` _,##'`-._,##'` _,##'`-._,##'` `-._,##'` >SMILES A guy named Pete gets a job as a switchman with the railroad, and undergoes weeks of training. The supervisor then takes him into the switch booth to test his readiness. The following exchange takes place: Supervisor: "Imagine you were sitting here alone and you learned there was a train coming from the North on that track, and another coming from the South on the same track. What would you do?" Pete: "I'd throw this switch right here and put one train on the other track." Supervisor: And what if that switch didn't work?" Pete: "I'd go down to the track and throw that big switch lever there, putting one train on the other track." Supervisor: "And what if that switch lever didn't work?" Pete: "Then I'd come back here and call the dispatcher to stop both trains." Supervisor: "And what if the phone didn't work?" Pete: "Then I'd go to that gas station across the street and use their phone." Supervisor: "And what if their phone didn't work?" Pete: "Then I'd go get Uncle Joe." Supervisor: "Uncle Joe??? What would he do?" Pete: "Nothing, but he ain't never seen a train wreck." -------- The weather was very hot and a man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said: 'You know , I have a special gift, I can read minds.' 'Impossible', said the embarrassed man, 'You really know what I think?' 'Yes', the lady replied, 'Right now, I bet you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom. -------- A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that most Germans would speak English. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I simply nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested. When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the compartment leaned forward and asked if I spoke German. "No," I confessed. "Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train." -------- Two guys are out drinking when one of them falls off his barstool and lies motionless on the floor. "One thing about Fred," his buddy says to the bartender. "He knows when to stop." -<>- Martha had a parrot called Brutus, the only problem was that Brutus cussed something awful. Now Martha was having her in-laws over for Thanksgiving, and so she needed to train Brutus quickly not to swear. Just before her Mother-in-law was due Brutus cussed terribly, so Martha but him in the freezer for 2 minutes to literally cool off. Then she opened the door and took out the parrot along with the turkey. "And have you learned your lesson about cussing?" Martha asked the parrot. Brutus the parrot took one look at the dead turkey and said: "I sure have. But I have one question. What did the turkey do?" -<>- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" "No ma'am," he replied, they're all dead." -<>- _____ /~/~ ~\ | | \ \ \ \ \ \ \ --\ \ .\'' --==\ \ ,,i!!i, ''"'',,}{,, >Humorous Epitaphs Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ---- In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go. ---- In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me For not rising. ---- In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas, Instead of the brake. ---- Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont Here lies the body of our Anna - Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go. ---- In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be. Remember this and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent Until I know which way you went. ---- And last but not least, This was found in Key West: "I told you I was sick!" --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: I have heard of worse reasons to eat a species to extinction. Suffering from stress? Not feeling loving? High in the Andean mountains of Peru, some locals believe putting frogs in a blender is the answer. Unfortunately, there is no scientific evidence confirming any medicinal benefits from frog juice. And the frogs that Peruvians use are from the Telmatobius culeus species, a water frog from remote Lake Titicaca that is listed as critically endangered by the International Union for Conservation of Nature. Entire frogs are the main ingredient in a juice blend some people in Peru and Bolivia believe can cure asthma, bronchitis, sluggishness and a low sex drive. To make the mix at her food stand in Peru's capital, vendor Maria Elena Cruz grabs a frog from a small aquarium, and whacks its head on the counter top until it's dead. Then she peels off its skin and drops the frog into a blender with carrots, the Peruvian maca root and honey. The juice comes out light green in color. Cruz serves it in glasses to her customers. "Frog juice is good for anemia, bronchitis, bones, the brain, fatigue, stress and it is mostly children, adults, persons with anemia, respiratory issues and sometimes tuberculosis" who come to her stand, Cruz claims. Customer Cecilia Cahuana, 35, believes this. "I always come here to drink frog juice because it's good for the children, for anemia, bronchitis and also for older persons, it's extremely good," she said. Dr. Tomy Villanueva, dean of the Medical College of Lima, says there is "no scientific evidence" that frog juice is a cure for anything, even though it has a place in Andean culture. --- ...Reminds me of this one... In Days Past http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dayspast.html *-- Polish city bans Winnie-the-Pooh at playgrounds, claiming 'dubious' s*uality --* TUSZYN, Poland (UPI) - Winnie-the-Pooh is being run out of town, and it's not for taking all the honey. The cartoon bear's image was banned from a playground in the small Polish city of Tuszyn because members of the town council believe him to be a hermaphrodite. The issue came up when it was proposed that Pooh be the patron of the playground. But the more conservative members of the council took issue with the fact he was only half-dressed. "It doesn't wear underpants because it doesn't have a s*. It's a hermaphrodite," said one Councillor. They had an explanation for why poor Pooh is of "dubious s*uality" and it's through no fault of his own but rather due to the cruelty of his author, A.A. Milne. "This is very disturbing but can you imagine! The author was over 60 and cut his [Pooh's] t*s off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity," said Councillor Hanna Jachimska. The patron of the playground has yet to be decided but Winnie-the-Pooh has been scratched off the list. *-- Boy says electric shock turned him into magnet --* OMSK, Russia (UPI) - A Russian 12-year-old may become the first real-life X-Men hero after an electric shock apparently magnetized his body. Nikolai Kryaglyachenko, 12, said he leaned on a lamppost with faulty wiring on his way home from school one day and the resulting electric shock turned him into a living magnet that attracts metal objects. "When I woke up the next day and got out of bed, I found some coins that had been lying on the mattress had stuck to my body. Then when I was having breakfast and dropped my spoon, it stuck to my chest," the boy told Omsk TV and Radio Company. Kryaglyachenko, who has been compared to X-Men villain Magneto, said he doesn't have much control over the magnetism. "I can do things I couldn't do before, but I don't have a lot of control over it. Even when I do not want to do it, I still attract things. Once I even attracted a glass -- it just moved towards me," he said. Stories of human magnets stretch back to the 19th century, with one woman being recorded in 1990 supporting 15 pounds of weight with her palm held vertically. However, some scientists have said stories of human magnetism can be attributed to nothing more than unusually sticky skin. *-- Police: Woman fled through hospital ceiling --* ALBUQUERQUE (UPI) - Police in New Mexico said a woman accused of possessing a stolen truck attempted to escape custody through the ceiling of a hospital room. New Mexico State Police said Shylen Salazer, 34, was arrested alongside a male suspect Tuesday when they were found near a stolen vehicle and while in holding Salazer told officers she had swallowed drugs and needed medical attention. Salazer, who was found to be concealing a pipe in her bra, was taken to Presbyterian Hospital, where she was found to be missing later in the evening. Police searched the hospital for about an hour before discovering Salazer was hiding in the ceiling of her hospital room. Salazer, who police said admitted to possessing the stolen truck for nearly two months, was charged with escape and receiving or transferring a stolen vehicle. *-- Florida man unsuccessfully resists arrest by hugging tree --* GREENACRES, Fla. (UPI) - A man in South Florida was arrested Thursday for multiple crimes, including resisting arrest when he latched onto a neaby tree, according to authorities. Police say Homer Stacey, 50, acted feisty and confrontational when officers arrived at his home in response to a disturbance, The Palm Beach Post reports. An arrest report suggests that Stacey claimed he would cause problems and that he would get his friends to help. At least one family member told police that the suspect was drunk, to which Stacey admitted. After Stacey yelled at one officer, police attempted to arrest him, but he held onto a nearby palm tree and reportedly yelled, "You're not going to [expletive] take me!" Police used a taser on the suspect's ribs. He let go of the tree and was apprehended, but not before trying unsuccessfully to tackle one officer. "If you take these cuffs off me, I'm going to kill you!" Stacey said as he was put into a patrol car, police said. The Greenacres resident was booked into jail and charged with resisting arrest, disorderly intoxication and threatening an officer. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) _|_ | / \ //_\\ //(_)\\ |/^\| ,%%%% // \\ ,@@@@@@@, ,%%%%/%%% // \\ ,@@@\@@@@/@@, @@@%%%\%%//%%%// === \\ @@\@@@/@@@@@ @@@@%%%%\%%%%%// =-=-= \\@@@@\@@@@@@;%#####, @@@@%%%\%%/%%// === \\@@@@@@/@@@%%%######, @@@@@%%%%/%%//| |\\@\\//@@%%%%%%#/#### '@@@@@%%\\/%~ | | ~ @|| %\\//%%%#####; @@\\//@|| | __ __ | || %%||%%'###### '@|| || | | | | | || ||##\//#### || || | | -|- | | || ||'#||###' || || |_|__|__|_| || || || || ||_/` ======= `\__||_._|| || jgs__||_/` ======= `\_||___ >A LITTLE HOLY HUMOR During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths: 1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's Chosen People. 2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world. 4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store. GOOD SAMARITAN A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up." DID NOAH FISH? A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms." THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know." UNANSWERED PRAYER The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon." "How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked. BEING THANKFUL A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!" ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls." This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity finally got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?" Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!" SAY A PRAYER Little Johnny and his family was having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother. "I don't need to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do" his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook." THE BIBLE Did you know that... When you carry the Bible, Satan has a headache. When you open it, he collapses. When he sees you are reading it, he faints. Let's read the Bible every day so he keeps on fainting. Maybe one day he'll have a stroke and never wake up. And did you also know that when you are about to forward this email to others the devil will discourage you, but forward it anyway. --- ...TeeHee! Oh Yeah! Thanks Linda! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: .-. o \ .-. .----.' \ .'o) / `. o / | \_) /-. '_.` \ \ `. | \ | \ | .--/`-. / / .'.-/`-. `. .\| /.' /`._ `- '-. ____(|__/`-..`- '-._ \ |`------.'-._ ` ||\ \ || # /-. ` / || \| || #/ `--' / /_::_|)__ `|____|-._.-` / ||`--------` \-.___.` | / || # | \ | | || # # | /`.___.'\ |.`|________| | /`.__.'|'.` __/ \ __/ \ /__.-.) /__.-.) LGB My husband is a service technician for an exterminating company. And one of the rules is that he must confirm his appointments by phone the night before a service call. One evening, he called a customer and said to the man who answered, "Hi. This is Garry from the pest-control company. Your wife phoned us." There was silence for a moment, and then my husband heard the man say, "Honey, someone wants to speak to you about your relatives." -<>- A young Jewish lad entered Notre Dame to play football. At the end of the season, he returned home. As luck would have it, he ran into his Rabbi at the airport. The rabbi asked, "Are they trying to convert you at South Bend?" The youngster said, "Of course not, Father!" -<>- When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become collectors' items. I went to the bank and picked up a hundred, serially numbered and still in their original band. On my next trip to my parents' house, I gave the $200 to my mother and said, "Take good care of these. They might be worth something someday." Several months later I asked Mom if she was keeping the two- dollar bills safe. "Oh, yes!" she replied. "I deposited them in the bank the day after you left." -<>- In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and a clock. I told the students that when it was a large timepiece on a wall and not attached to your body, it was called a clock. When it was worn on your body, it was called a watch. A few days later we had a power outage, and our classroom clocks had not been reset. I asked Luis, who was wearing a wristwatch, for the time. Luis looked at his wrist, and then confidently announced, "It is exactly ten o'watch." -<>- Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her "the talk." "Sometimes, it's easy to get carried away when you are with a boy," I said. "Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your life." "Don't worry," she said. "I don't plan on ruining my life until I get married." -<>- Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, "How come you aren't married?" John: "I haven't found the right woman yet." George: "So what are you looking for?" John: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper, she's got to know how to handle finances, have a nice and pleasant personality -- and money, she's got to have money, and if she has her own house it wouldn't hurt either." George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!" John: "Oh, it's okay if she is crazy." ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: .--. .--. / `. o o .' \ \ \ \ / / / /\_ \ .-"-. / _/\ ( V ^ ^ V ) \_ _| 9_9 |_ _/ `. //\__o__/\\ .' `._//\=======/\\_.' /_/ /\=====/\ \_\ _// \===/ \\_ /_/_//`='\\_\_\ hjw /_/ \_\ ** Try ** 'Tis better to have tried in vain, Sincerely striving for a goal, Than to have lived upon the plain An idle and a timid soul. 'Tis better to have fought and spent Your courage, missing all applause, Than to have lived in smug content And never ventured for a cause. For he who tries and fails may be The founder of a better day; Though never his the victory, From him shall others learn the way. ~~author unknown -<>- >Holiday Parking Rules For Goobers ** It's almost that time of the year again -- the Holiday Shopping Season. So, for the dingbats out there, here's your list of parking rules. For the non-dingbats, be aware that the dingbats will be out in full-force, and here are their rules: Rule No. 1: When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing. Rule No. 2: Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible. Diagonal parking is preferred. Rule No. 3: In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up halfway and stop on the line, taking both. Rule No. 4: As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it, pull though and take it from him. Rule No. 5: Always park close enough to the adjacent car so that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze into his or her car. Rule No. 6: When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent vehicle with your door really hard. Rule No. 7: When driving through the parking lot, ignore the painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another at a high rate of speed. Rule No. 8: When stopped in front of a store and waiting for a friend/relative to make a purchase, make sure that you are stopped in the middle of the road. The same rule applies to picking up and discharging passengers. Rule No. 9: When a vehicle from the opposite direction is signaling and waiting for a parking space, position your car so that you are in his way and let the car behind you take it. Rule No. 10: If you have handicapped license plates, use up a regular parking spot. Rule No. 11: If you hit the adjacent car with your door and leave a dent, wait for a car, which is painted the same color as yours, to drive down the aisle looking for a place to park. Then back out, giving up your spot like "Mr. Good Guy," and park somewhere else. Rule No. 12: If the vehicle in front of you stops to let a pedestrian cross or another vehicle turn, pull into the lane of opposite traffic and attempt to pass him. Rule No. 13: When exiting a shopping center into a busy road, exit through the narrow "ENTER ONLY" driveway, stick the nose of the car into traffic, and wait. Rule No. 14: When driving through a parking lot with alternating one- way aisles and angled parking spots, drive the wrong way. Then when you see a parking space, take 20 minutes to do a 12-point turn to pull into it. Rule No. 15: Always leave your shopping cart behind or tightly between parked vehicles. Rule No. 16: Empty your ashtrays on the ground in shopping center parking lots. While you're at it, dump out all the garbage, too, including that Wendy's or McDonald's bag sitting in the back seat from breakfast. Rule No. 17: If you are forced to change an infant's diaper in a parking lot, leave the soiled diaper under the car next to you. Rule No. 18: When another vehicle is waiting for you to pull out of a spot in a crowded parking lot, take your time. Adjust the mirrors, your seat, and the radio. Roll down your window, light a cigarette, and eat your lunch. Feel free to go through your shopping bags and look at what you just bought. Rule No. 19: When pulling into a parking spot, if there is a shopping cart in the way, lightly tap it with your bumper and send it rolling into another car. Then, when you step out, if the cart is still too close, push it down the parking lot aisle and let it go. While the cart is flying solo, turn around and walk toward the stores. Rule No. 20: When walking back to your car in a busy shopping center, gesture to other drivers waiting for a spot to make them think that you are getting in the car and leaving. Then walk between the cars to the next aisle and do it again. -<>- _,, _.-'` ',\ \ .-;`'(,____ \.-'\ _\-` __.-; \_.-'_.-'0 \/ / .'0 __ | /_.' .'o \ / .-. ,;--._\___/--. __./ | .-/ \ ^_> |\ /\ \ / <;/ \ \_/ |___/__\__|` <; | |) \ o ( <; |__.\ |o \ <; \ \ / o _\ <\.)-'`| =====""` \ /\__/__/^\____.-; | | | | | / \____|\____/ |===||===| jgs __/[](_||__l[]_ / || '. \ '-----'-''-'-.__/ ** A THANKSGIVING POEM ** TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING, I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS, I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP. THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION. SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE. I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES, PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES. I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND, 'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND. I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE. BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES.... HAPPY EATING TO ALL - PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE. MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY, MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP. MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP, MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE, MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS. MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING BE BLESSED -<>- >A Ventriloquist In Taining ** A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a cafe in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person...because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large...all in the name of humor." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little Goober on your knee!" -<>- >"How To Be A Good Husband" ** ** He consistently spills things in the same location as to avoid making more than one stain in the carpet. ** He sees to it that he doesn't always sit in the same place on the couch, to avoid making those unsightly twin-divots. ** He masters the art of halfway-communication so that he can watch TV and still answer: uh huh, oh, I see what you mean, etc. at the right time. ** He is able to avoid use of the same excuse two-times-in-a-row. ** He has learned that a new vacuum cleaner, iron, etc. do not make acceptable anniversary presents. ** Admits with only minor prodding that watching Monday Night Football together does not constitute a "date" or family home evening (where applicable). ** Has learned all of the childrens' names so that he doesn't have to refer to them as, "Hey, you there". ** Knows the proper time to give a sincere compliment and also the proper time to say something such as, "Its definitely an interesting dress." -<>- _ ///-._ ////////-._ /////////////-. ////////////////`. //////////////// .'`. //////////////// . '.'`. '|`'//////////// . .'.::|` : `'/////// . '.':| | . . `'// ' _|- ::| |. .-._ . | . | .':: | |:|:| | ' ' '.::| | |:|:| :. . .'.':| | . |:|:| . | .._.::: : `':| | ' ////-:| |. . | '/////////-._ | . . : .//////////////-._ : : ///////////////////-._ |. |////////////////////////-._ | . . :`'//////////////////////////-._ | . _.-\\\\``'//////////////////////////-._ | /\\\\\\\\..``'//////////////////////////". : . . /. \\\\\\\\\. .``'///////////////////// .'`. : / _ \\\\\\\\\. ``'//////////////// . .'`. | . / (@) \\\\\\\\\. . . ``'/////////// . '.'::|. {`)._ '| _` .\\\\\\\-`:|#| . . ``'////// '. .'.:| `-{_/`| ||::. \\'`.:|:.|#| |#| . ``'/ ' .##:'::: `-| ||||| |`.'::|::|#| |#| |#| . . '| . .|##|'.:| pils | ||||| : .'::|:.'#| |#| |#| |#| | |##|'::| | ||||| .| .'.:|::.'' '#| |#| |#| . : ' |##|'.:| {`\:|||| : .'::|:_.:. . '#| |#| | .|##|'::: `-{_/'|_ |_.-'/}_/'-._ '#| :. |##:'.:| `'{._('}_)-' `-}_}(-._ . . | ' '` .'::| `-' `-.} /-._ . : .'.'_:-'\ `-}_}(-._ | . _.-')_(-' `-/_)`-.:.-{ \{-' `-{_'_)-'' ^ >Signs In Front Of Churches ** * Life is fragile, handle with prayer. * We're all invited to a heavenly feast but we must R.S.V.P.! * But St. Peter-- what about my civil rights?" * Don't put a question mark where God put a period. * God loves everyone, but probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts'! * God grades on the cross, not the curve. * God doesn't want shares of your life, He wants controlling interest! * His pain is your gain! * WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning! * GOD is like Hallmark cards: HE cared enough to send the very best. * "Rapture-- the only way to fly"! * God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest. * For all you do, his bloods for you! * T.G.I.F.-- Thank God I'm Forgiven. * Jesus, don't leave earth without Him! * Christ's return is near-- Don't miss it for the world! . * Seven days without prayer makes one weak. * Patience is a virtue which carries a lot of wait. . * WARNING! In case of rapture this car will be unmanned. * Get Right or get Left! * Read the bible. It's user-friendly plus we offer tech support here on Sundays * GODISNOWHERE (now read it again) * If your bible is falling apart, chances are your life is staying together. * God's last name is not "Darn - It". * In case of nuclear attack - the ban on praying in school is lifted. * Don't forget, Judas also left early. * Free Life & Fire Insurance, Inquire with-in. * Lord, help me get up when I fall. I can fall by myself. * Christians are the light of the world, but the switch has to be turned on. * This is a Sign from God. * Wise men still seek Him. * Sleep peacefully, God is awake. -<>- >Dying A Natural Death ** The reception area of the doctor's office was filled to capacity, but the doctor was working at his usual snail's pace. After waiting two hours, an old man slowly stood up and headed for the door. When everyone stopped talking to look at him, he announced, "I guess I'll just go home and die a natural death." -<>- ** My uncle Phil moves furniture in the daytime and plays the maracas in a band at night. Yep, he's a mover and a shaker. -- Anna Williams ** You know, poetry would be a lot easier if the words "girlfriend" and "Satan" rhymed. -- Anthony Myers ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) 100 Years Ago http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/yearsago.html Animal Friends! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends.html Ford's First RV! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/firstrv.html WWI Human Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanart.html Liberty Air Show! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/liberty.html Cat Spot Tips! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catspots.html Stuck Animals! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stuck.html >For Thanksgiving Links: Give Praise http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/praise.html Jesus Clinic http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/clinic.html Thank You Lord http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thanks.html Ohio Indians http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ohioindians.html Old Barns, Old People, Old Friends http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/barns.html Pay It Forward http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/payitforward.html The Blue Ribbon http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/blueribbon.html Rich VS Poor http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/richvspoor.html Seven Wonders Of The World http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/wonders.html That's God http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thatsgod.html Value What You Have http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/valuewyh.html Yummy DESSERTS http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Thanksgiving Animations http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html Thanks and Thank You Animations http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) Men over 50 will find this relevant...extremely entertaining- Have a good laugh---Listen to the entire "lecture" -guaranteed to resurrect your Laugh Box and find yourself laughing at yourself!!! https://www.youtube.com/embed/LR2qZ0A8vic?rel=0 --- ...HaHa! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Danny Macaskill is one of the wildest mountain bike riders in the world. Now, he returns home to the Isle of Skye in Scotland for some crazy stunts on some of the most beautiful landscape in the world. Halfway through, he does something that will blow your mind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQ_IQS3VKjA&feature=player_embedded When your eyes see what these card magicians can do with an ordinary deck, your brain will tell you it's not possible. Don't believe it. It's really happening, it's just superbly executed. Around two minutes in, one of the tricks will definitely make your jaw hit the floor. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_M_aRtX-bA&feature=player_embedded Beware, this next performance may just make you cry, it sure did for the judges of America's Got Talent, as these shadow dancers put on an amazingly talented and emotional tale about the loss of a mother. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Gine8SojWoY Cirque Du Soleil presents a preview of 'Alegria' at the French television show 'The World's Greatest Cabaret' hosted by Patrick Sebastien. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjqU4Gqab4Q&feature=player_embedded How did all the tanks and vehicles get their gas in WWII as they dashed across Europe? The following video is a brief history of how that was accomplished. You may already have known of this, but I sure didn't. In spite of watching film about WWII and the European theater, I had never known the logistics of how all the military vehicles were supplied with fuel. They sure couldn't just stop at the corner station and fill up their tanks or jeep gas tanks. I found this film fascinating. And so weird to hear amazing details about D-Day so long after the event. What a fantastically complex engineering and operational feat it was, and how remarkable the skill and effort exhibited by the young men of the early 40s who planned and made the landing successful. http://www.youtube.com/v/Nv9lBqPVuoE&feature=uploademail --- ...Wow! Pretty Cool! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Fran :) Lost in the Fifties- Another Time, Another Place http://safeshare.tv/w/FEDEwZHZXu --- ...Sweet! Thanks Fran! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) SO MUCH IN A PICKLE JAR THIS MAY BE ONE OF THE BEST EMAILS EVER - ONE WORTH SHARING! http://play.simpletruths.com/movie/the-empty-pickle-jar/store/ --- ...I do like this! Great Classic! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Our Friesian Mare Mariska, is very good at opening her stall doors, and anything else that might have food in it. For more about Mariska and our other Friesians, visit our website & blog at: www.mistymeadowsfarmllc.com/blog.html https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5snVfeb_Kw Latest FDA Moves Could Stop Further Research on Supplements http://tinyurl.com/pnlzfr5 Autumns Splendor http://nethugs.com/seasons/autumn/autumns-splendor-2/ --- ...Beautiful! Thanks Melody! Give -Meals- for -Homeless Veterans- with a free click! http://tinyurl.com/nar7xgj --- ...Love this! Thanks Melody! Also go here and click for free - don't forget the others at the top 'Greater Good' Banner - you can click on each of those to help for free too - EVERY DAY! http://thehungersite.greatergood.com/clickToGive/ths/home ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Facebook is showing no sign whatsoever that they will ever leave us alone. They're developing 'Facebook at Work.' We already have a Facebook for people at work. It's called Facebook." -Jimmy Kimmel "Pseudoscience describes theories that sound like science but are actually just made up, like aromatherapy or bio- rhythms or love." -Craig Ferguson "The NYPD is apparently teaching its officers how to be more polite. It's true last time I got frisked, the cop was like, 'Have you lost weight?'" -Jimmy Fallon "Fifty percent of the nation is covered in snow. Record low temperatures, a very cold autumn so far. But on the bright side, you're one good ice storm away from getting out of Thanksgiving with the in-laws." -Jimmy Kimmel "Last week a Florida woman and her 20-year-old daughter gave birth within three hours of each other at the same hospital. I guess there's nothing like giving birth to take the edge off becoming a grandma." -Seth Meyers "Google has developed image-recognition software that can accurately capture what's happening in a photo. But it still has some bugs. It described Kim Kardashian's recent photo as 'Woman being chased by two Butterball turkeys.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Scientists discovered a virus that makes you dumb. You get the virus from eating green algae. That will cause the dumb virus to kick in. And I'm thinking: Seriously, you're eating green algae? I mean, you're already dumb." -Dave Letterman "A teenager in Arkansas was arrested after he was caught driving without a license on his way to the DMV to take a driving test, tried to flee, and crashed into a police car. On the plus side, it sounds like he was probably going to fail anyway." -Seth Meyers __ / \ _/=Ll=\_ [________] ___ ||/""\|| .'___`. ( 6. 6 ) / /"""\ \ __, ,__, \_--_/ |( 6 6 )| (--| | .-[\~--~/]-. ~\_-_/~ |--| _ _ _ / \ / \ .-' '-. _| | (_||_)|_)\_| / _, `----' ,_ \ /\_____/\ ( |_, | | ,_| \ \| |/ / / ,_/^\_, \ \ >==[]==< / \_(_|-|_)_/ _______, \/__.''.__\/ //=====\\ (--| _, (_, | TT | // \\ | |_ _ ._ |__, , _ ' ',_ _ | || | // \\ _| | |(_|| || \ /_)(_||\/|| |(_| | || | /'---,___,---'\ ( |_, \_, ,_| ,_| |__||__| / / \ \ [__][__] '--,_________,--' jgs |_ || _| |_ | _| (__)(__) (__)__) >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************