The Cow And The Ice Cream... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) Our friend Linda sent us a forward for a video for a page we already have. I love the video so updated the page with it here... _ ___ (_) _/XXX\ _ /XXXXXX\_ __ X\__ __ /X XXXX XX\ _ /XX\__ ___ \__/ \_/__ \ \ _/X\__ /XX XXX\____/XXX\ \ ___ \/ \_ \ \ __ _/ \_/ _/ - __ - \ ___/ \__/ \ \__ \\__ / \_// _ _ \ \ __ / \____/ / __ \ / \ \_ _//_\___ __/ // \___/ \/ __/ __/_______\________\__\_/________\__/_/____/_____________/_______\____/____ ___ /L|0\ / | \ / \ / | \ / \ / __ | __ \ / __/ \__ \ / /__ | __\ \ /___________________\ Amazing Street-Legal Airplane! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/transition.html --- ...Very Awesome! Thank You Linda! Paul and my son Victor have been after me to have a Facebook page so I finally got around to it this weekend. Victor helped me tweak it a little because I am no wiz on this media! Please check me out and send me your 'add friend' request so I can have you as my friend on there too! ShangralaFamilyFun.com http://www.facebook.com/pages/ShangralaFamilyFuncom/400124393354020 -<>- /L'-, ,'-. /MM . . / L '-, . _,--dMMMM\ /MMM `.. / '-, : _,--, )MMMMMMMMM),. `QMM ,<> /_ '-,' ; ___,--. \MM( `-' )M//MM\ ` ,',.; .-'* ; .' | \MMMMMM) \MM\ ,dM//MMM/ ___ < ,; `. )`--' / | \MM()M MMM)__ /MM(/MP' ___, \ \ ` `. `. /__, ,' | MMMM/ MMMMMM( /MMMMP'__, \ | / `. `-,_\ / | MM /MMM---' `--'_ \ |-' |/ `./ .\----.___ | /MM' `--' __,- \"" |-' |_, `.__) . .F. )-. | `--' \ \ |-' |_, _,-/ J . . . J-'-. `-., | __ \`. | | | \ / _ |. . . . \ `-. F | ___ / \ | `| ' __ \ | /-' F . . . . \ '` | \ \ \ / | __ / \ | |,-' __,- J . . . . . \ | | / |/ __,- \ ) \ / |_,- __,--' |. .__.----,' | |/ ___ \ |'. |/ __,--' `.-;;;;;;;;;\ | ___ \ \ | | ` __,--' /;;;;;;;;;;;;. | \ \ |-'\ ' __,--' /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\ \ | | / | __,--' `--;;/ \;-'\ \ | |/ __,--' / / \ \ \ | __,--' / / \ \ \|__,--' _,-;M-K, ,;-;\ <;;;;;;;; '-;;;; >Guestbook I've noticed that since I have a new guestbook up off the Shangy Fun List page here, http://users.smartgb.com/g/g.php?a=s&i=g18-62930-2b That most, if not all of the comments, are written to Akiane and are inspired from this art page here... Akiane Child Prodigy! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy.html Like all my artists pages that I have given a limelight to by showing off their talent, I do not have a personal relationship with Akiane to give her any of these messages. I am quite sure she doesn't check my Guestbook either to get any of these messages. I feel sorry that people are not getting across to whom they desire to and I am seriously wondering if I should even have the Guestbook any more. Anyone got any ideas, let me know what you think. THANKS! -<>- >HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super hottie comes from our friend Johanna. Such an adorable story I couldn't resist doing it up to share with every one! Check it out here... ____ .-. .-"` `",( __\_ .-==:;-._ .' .-. `'. .' `"-:'-/ ( \} -=a .) / \/ \,== `- __..-'` '-' | | | .'\ `; \ _/---'\ ( `"` /.`._ ) \ `; \`-/.' `"` `"\`-. jgs `"` Mouse Vs Leopard! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mouse.html --- ...Wow, So funny and cute! Thanks Johanna! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Of Historical Interest 1. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes; when you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight" came from. ()___ 2. Nutmeg is extremely ()//__/)_________________() poisonous if injected ||(___)//#/_/#/_/#/_/#()/|| intravenously. ||----|#| |#|_|#|_|#|_|| || ||____|_|#|_|#|_|#|_|#||/|| 3. Only one person in two jgs || |#|_|#|_|#|_|#|_|| billion will live to be 116 or older. 4. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the alphabet (developed by Western Union to test telex/twx communications) .-----------. 5. The only 15-letter word that can be ___ | | spelled without repeating a letter /_._`.__| |_ is "uncopyrightable". `(|_|_m_______m_|_|) |_______________| 6. Thirty-five percent of the people who /o o o o o o o o\ use personal ads for dating are already /o o o o o o o o o\ married. ;[]o o o o o o o o[]; jgs | -============- | 7. When opossums are playing "possum," '------------------' they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror. 8. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks more than an inch every year because, when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. _ \`\ 9. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived |= | from an old English law that stated /- ;.---. that you couldn't beat your wife with _ __.' (____) anything wider than your thumb. ` (_____) _' ._ .' (____) 10. The term "the whole 9 yards" came from ` (___) WW2 fighter pilots in the Pacific. jgs --`'------'` When arming their airplanes on the ground, the 50-caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards." 11. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. _.-~~-. .' '-. 12. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation /_/ -. `> used in the Army for "General Purpose" {__}\ -.~` / vehicle, GP. || '-. /.-' || ||| 13. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, "`""||"`"`|||""`""`"` moves only six inches for each gallon || __|||_ of diesel that it burns. _||_ /||\ jgs `""""` 14. No NFL team that plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Super Bowl. 15. The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver." 16. In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice .- without a hunting license. ( \ 17. There are an average .-. .-. | of 18 sesame seeds (-. \/.- ) _..---"""""-. / on a McDonald's '. ` '--' `\__.: Big Mac bun. /dd / / /--' '-.| _.; \ ( 18. The world's ter- -' `--`-.)\ |-..____.-;-. > mites outweigh the / / / `--' .' / world's humans 10 to 1. .'.'_/ jgs `--' `` `` 19. The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. 20. When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year. 21. Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka. 22. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined. _ (.".) _ 23. It takes 3,000 cows to supply '-'/. .\'-' the NFL with enough leather /_ _\ _...._ for a year's supply of foot- (` o o `)---` .::'. balls. jgs /"---"` .::' ' \ |: .::. / .::;| 24. On average, 100 people choke |' ::' .:| ':|| to death on ball-point pens \\ \ \ '\ /\\ every year. \`;-'| |-.-'-, \ |) ( | ( | `-uu ( | 25. It was the accepted practice || || || || in Babylon 4000 years ago /_( /_( /_(/_( that, for one month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month" or what we know today as the "honeymoon." 26. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's." 27. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle," is the phrase inspired by this practice. ======================================================= *-- Bizarre May Holidays --* May 1 is Mother Goose Day and Save The Rhino Day May 2 is Fire Day May 3 is Lumpy Rug Day May 4 is National Candied Orange Peel Day May 5 is National Hoagie Day May 6 is Beverage Day May 7 is International Tuba Day, Paste Up Day, and National Roast Leg of Lamb Day ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Brenda :) ____ ___ | _ \ ___ _ _.' _ `. _ | [_) )' _ `._ _ ___ ! \ | | (_) | _ |:;.| _ <| (_) | \ | |' _ `| \| | _ | .:;| | `.[_) ) _ | \| | (_) | | | | |.',..| ':. `. /| | | | | _ | |\ | | |.' :;::' !::, `-!_| | | |\ | | | | | \ !_!.' ':;! !::; ":;:!.!.\_!_!_!.!-'-':;:'' '''! ';:' `::;::;' '' ., . `: .,. `' .::... . .::;::;' `..:;::;:.. ::;::;:;:;, :;::;' "-:;::;:;: ':;::;:'' ;.-' ""`---...________...---'"" Bugbyte >Banana Test Don't scroll past the animals until you have decided upon your answer. Good Luck! There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, A Lion, A Chimp, A Giraffe AND A Squirrel They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully . . .... Try and answer within 30 seconds. Got your answer? Now scroll down to see the analysis. : : : : : : : : : : : If your answer is: Lion = you're dull. Chimpanzee = you're dense. Giraffe = you're a complete moron. Squirrel = you're hopeless. A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS. Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax and have a banana. now hurry up and forward it to someone.... --- ...HaHa! Thanks Brenda! ============================================================ >-->SMILES From Our Friend Linda :) ,-`"-=') =/////// ,== _,_(((((-`6\ ==.| /,,...\\\C _| .--. ((((\\\\\` _, /;_| )9 )))))./ `. / } _\,_ ,-'))) \ / /=-. ,-./ \/ '))) . /\_/ / \ (,-.%\ / /-' ') \/\ / ( \ (/ \ ' /( ' `-/ \( \ ,- / ( `-' \ . / / \ \ &_) /\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% | _/ _); `. ` `-. .`\ ) +++/ \ ,," %&-. ; \\| `-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._) gpyy A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut." The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair." (You're going to love the Dad's reply!) "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?" -<>- >Religious Husband A HUSBAND COMES HOME FROM CHURCH ; HE GREETS HIS WIFE AND LIFTS HER UP. HE THEN CARRIED HER AROUND THE HOUSE. THE WIFE WAS SO SURPRISED AND SHE ASKED 'DID THE BISHOP PREACH ABOUT BEING ROMANTIC' ? THE HUSBAND SAID, ' NO, HE SAID WE MUST CARRY OUR BURDENS AND SORROWS ' -<>- ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw >An elderly gentleman.... Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said 'Your hearing is perfect... Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!' -<>- Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age.. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' -<>- An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night? -<>- ._ | | |L___, .' '. T unknown : * :_| '._.' L Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' -<>- Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure..' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down? she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?' -<>- A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!' -<>- Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..' -<>- A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty..' -<>- _,--*dSS|""I$$$SS%cccc,_ <$$$b |$$$l j$$$$$$$$$$$$$Sbp ?$$$b|$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P ?$$$$$$$$; $$$$$$$$$$$$$$P ?$$$$$$$| $$$$$$$$$$$$$P )$$$$$$$_$SSSSS$$$$$$( Y"' """P ( ) _.,cccccd%S$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$SS%dcccc,._ ($$$$$$$$$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$) `"""""Y"' ____ `"$$$$$$$P"' 8P ,o88o `\ ) ,-' \o888888) ) .^^^^^^\ .-' .. \ """' )_ \ _ ) (___.--.; "---...-'~ / / ) ) ) __..._ __/' / )) / (`.__.-)_)_)_)) {~' .\_/_/ .' `-.) ) ) )) `.__.-' \ / `~----' _/' \. .' _...../ )`-----...____ ( , _.-~~~' ......-' `\______,.-~ Allen Mullen Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' -<>- One more. . .! A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.' Now , before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! ================================================================ >-->In The Worldly News: [politics] >From GodfatherPolitics: President Obama Stole Our Money to Keep General Motors Alive http://tinyurl.com/bncco6e Top 12 Reasons to Vote for a Democrat http://tinyurl.com/bljc2w5 Why Do So Many Blacks Vote For The Most Racist Political Party In America? http://tinyurl.com/7md4syr -<>- >From VisionToAmerica: Obama Whitehouse Fundraises for Anti-Christian Bully http://tinyurl.com/cellhrm -<>- >From ConservativeByte: Eating Dog and Born in Hawaii? Jokes on You America! http://tinyurl.com/cyg3nrk -<>- >From BizarreNews: I have seen some crazy ideas when it comes to meeting and socializing with people of the opposite sex. "Dating" in the common parlance. I'm sure you remember blind dating. The 80s saw the rise of video dating. Then there was speed dating. Now we have online dating. But in the never-ending quest to get in the pants of your one-true-love, social science has come up with yet another, and ever more bizarre form of dating; pheromone parties. Pheromones are the unique, chemical signature that every- one's body puts out which triggers a social response in others. There are alarm pheromones, food trail pheromones and sex pheromones. So how does a pheromone party work? Dirty T-shirts. For $30, Pheromone Parties will help you find your next date, or perhaps the love of your life by smelling their stale, sweaty clothes. To prepare for the natural scent event, you sleep in the same cotton t-shirt for three nights in a row to bag your own "odor print." You bring the shirt to the party in a Ziploc, which is given a number, with bags marked blue for boys and pink for girls. Throughout the bash, you're invited to smell the shirts as you wish. Once you find the one that really gets you going, a photographer takes your picture with the bag of your choosing. The images are shown on a running slideshow, and if you see someone holding your number, then you've found your musk match. If this doesn't sound creepy, or at least off-putting to you, just think about the inevitable evolution of the pheromone party (if it proves successful); dirty underwear. I'm in. *-- Spanish 'Smurfs' town attracts tourists --* JUZCAR, Spain - The mayor of a small Spanish town said the village has seen a dramatic increase in tourism since its homes were painted blue for last year's film "The Smurfs." Mayor David Fernandez Tirado of Juzcar said his village has received about 125,000 visitors since the film came out last summer and residents voted in December 2011 to keep the village blue to spur tourism, The Telegraph, Britain, reported Thursday. "The number of visits is not going down," Tirado said. "Apart from colder, wintry days, it's been quite the opposite -- it's continuing to spark a lot of interest." The village was painted blue in 2011 to film scenes for "The Smurfs" and villagers are now holding weekly "Smurf markets" to sell Smurf-related souvenirs and foods. Tirado said the blue color of the village's houses might not be permanent. "We'll see how everything is going in a while," he said. *-- Man, 92, still working at post office --* PITTSFORD, N.Y. - A New York state man who began working for the U.S. Postal Service when he was 70 is now 92 and the oldest postal worker in a district including eight states. Officials said Charles Cook, of Pittsford, who works as a supervisor at the mail processing center in Henrietta, is the oldest employee in a district including Ohio, Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Tennessee, Delaware, and portions of New York, West Virginia and New Jersey, the Rochester (N.Y.) Courier Democrat reported Thursday. "I say, 'If you think I'm going to be replaced and they're going to bring in some greenhorn to do my job, you're crazy,'" Cook said. "I'm going to be here for another 25 years." Cook said he began his career with the Postal Service after a doctor told him when he was 70 he should seek out a job with a lot of physical activity to extend his life. *-- Man charged with felony for stealing soda --* NAPLES, Fla. - After leaving a Naples, Fla., McDonald's without paying for a cup of soda, Mark Abaire, 52, is in hot water, facing a felony theft charge, police say. Abaire walked into the restaurant around 10 p.m. Thursday and asked the employee at the counter if he could have a cup for water. When he was given one, he went to the soda fountain and filled it with soda instead, then left to sit outside. A manager told police he asked Abaire to pay for the soda and he refused, and then remained on the premises after being asked to leave. He then cursed at the manager, prompting them to call the police. Due to previous petty theft convictions, what would have been a misdemeanor petty theft charge was escalated to a felony, which could earn Abaire up to five years in jail and a $5,000 fine. He also faces charges of trespassing and disorderly intoxi- cation, the Daily News (Naples, Fla.) reported. *-- Tsunami soccer ball lands in Alaska --* ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A soccer ball swept into the Pacific Ocean in Japan's deadly earthquake and tsunami in March 2011 has washed ashore in Alaska, its owner confirmed. The ball was found by David Baxter on the shore of Middleton Island, south of the Alaskan mainland, the Kyodo news agency reported. His Japanese wife Yumi translated writing on the ball as messages from Grade 3 school children in 2005 for a 16-year-old high school student in Iwate Prefecture, an inland region in northern Japan. Kyodo contacted the teenager, Misaki Murakami, who confirmed he had owned the ball and couldn't find it after the tsunami. There are increasing amounts of tsunami debris washing ashore in the United States and Canada, although the bulk of the "debris field" isn't expected to wash ashore until 2014, oceanographers have said. Last month, in the Gulf of Alaska, the U.S. Coast Guard sank an abandoned 164-foot Japanese fishing boat cast adrift by the disaster as it was deemed a hazard to other ships. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend KarenF :) _(\__/)_ _.=.___.-" /| | / | | \ | | | \| : / / | _| ( / | (\ .' /) uu /| V \/ / . ( |// | | ( |/ \ . \| /7._||/ | (/ (| ____ | \ / \ / (^/ (^/ jjs >THE COW AND THE ICE CREAM ONE OF THE BEST EXPLANATIONS OF WHY OBAMA WON THE ELECTION --From a teacher in the Nashville area "We are worried about 'the cow' when it is all about the 'Ice Cream.' The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade this year... The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president. We would choose our nominees... They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote. To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot. The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia's mother. The day arrived when they were to make their speeches. Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better Place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Everyone applauded and he sat down. Now it was Olivia's turn to speak. Her speech was concise.She said, "If you will vote for me, . , * , ` *~.|,~* ' ' ,~*~~* ` _ ,* / \`* ' // ,* ; \,O. // ,(:::)=// ( `~(###) %---'`"y \ / \ / __)(__ hjw '------` I will give you ice cream." She sat down. The class went wild. "Yes! Yes! We want ice cream." She surely would say more. She did not have to. A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn't sure. But no one pursued that question. They took her at her word. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it....She didn't know. The class really didn't care. All they were thinking about was ice cream... Jamie was forgotten.. Olivia won by a landslide. Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and 51.4% of the people reacted like nine year olds. . , * , ` *~.|,~* ' ' ,~*~~* ` _ ,* / \`* ' // ,* ; \,O. // ,(:::)=// ( `~(###) %---'`"y \ / \ / __)(__ hjw '------` They want ice cream. The other 48.6% percent know they're going to have to _(\__/)_ _.=.___.-" /| | / | | \ | | | \| : / / | _| ( / | (\ .' /) uu /| V \/ / . ( |// | | ( |/ \ . \| /7._||/ | (/ (| ____ | \ / \ / (^/ (^/ jjs feed the cow and clean up the mess." Remember, the government cannot give anything to anyone that they have not first taken away from someone else. Did you vote for the ice cream? THAT, MY FRIEND, IS HOW OBAMA GOT ELECTED. --- ...gee, I thought it was rigged! HaHa! Thanks KarenF! -<>- /(_ /_ (_ / O \ |_. | \ | | |\ / | \ | \ (-.\ fish walking _)\ \ ( )_/\ \_( \ / ) ( _ _ _ / _ \ /'\/'\'\ / _// / \(/\(/(/ \\_/_/ \_\/ ./<./THE BLONDE AND THE LORD A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?" The voice replied, "No, this is the manager of the hockey rink." -<>- >A brunette, redhead and blonde A brunette, redhead and blonde were at a special magic amusement Park. One of the rides was a long slide at the end of which was a Magic pool. On the way down the slide, all the rider had to do was Shout out his or her favorite drink, and hey-presto, they would land In a pool full of this drink. So off they went. The brunette went first. On her way down she shouted out "Vodka" at The top of her voice, and sure enough she landed in a pool of the Finest vodka. After filling several bottles and glasses she went Home happy but a little un-steady. Next the redhead - who loved a 10-year-old malt, went flying down Shouting "Whisky", and of course into a pool of whisky she fell. She Had to be dragged away practically unconscious. Now it was the blonde's turn. She was very excited, and on her way Down she was enjoying the ride so much she shouted - "Weeeeeee"...... -<>- ^^^ ^^^ |\ |\ |\ |\ || .---. || .---. || .---. || .---. ||/_____\ ||/_____\ ||/_____\ ||/_____\ ||( '.' ) ||( '.' ) ||( '.' ) ||( '.' ) || \_-_/_ || \_-_/_ || \_-_/_ || \_-_/_ :-"`'V'//-. :-"`'V'//-. :-"`'V'//-. :-"`'V'//-. / , |// , `\ / , |// , `\ / , |// , `\ / , |// , `\ / /|Ll //Ll|| | / /|Ll //Ll|| | / /|Ll //Ll|| | / /|Ll //Ll|| | /_/||__// || | /_/||__// || | /_/||__// || | /_/||__// || | \ \/---|[]==|| | \ \/---|[]==|| | \ \/---|[]==|| | \ \/---|[]==|| | \/\__/ | \| | \/\__/ | \| | \/\__/ | \| | \/\__/ | \| | /\|_ | Ll_\ | /|/_ | Ll_\ | /|/_ | Ll_\ | /|/_ | Ll_\ | `--|`^"""^`||_| `--|`^"""^`||_| `--|`^"""^`||_| `--|`^"""^`||_| | | ||/ | | ||/ | | ||/ | | ||/ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | L___l___J L___l___J L___l___J L___l___J |_ | _| |_ | _| |_ | _| |_ | _| jgs (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ >Riddles In which month are soldiers the most tired? The month of March Why don't ghosts like to go out in the rain? Because it dampens their spirits! What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick What do you call a face lift on a chicken? A Fryer Tuck In what units do astronauts measure travel distances in the space shuttles? In meteors. How can you tell puppies love their dad? They are always licking their paws. What did Samson die of? Fallen arches. -<>- More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?" -<>- <\> \{)~_ .- `%. ( % `. `. ,%% ) `,--+-- ' // || /_| |_\ _ | ejm -' >The Green Thing Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the Older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because Plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green Thing back in my earlier days." The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did Not care enough to save our environment for future generations." She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day. Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles To the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed And sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over And over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the Green thing back in our day. We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every Store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and Didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go Two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in Our day. Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the Throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy Gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and Solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got Hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always Brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have The green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in Every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a Handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state Of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because We didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we Packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old Newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran On human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go To a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then. We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a Cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We Refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we Replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the Whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the Green thing back then. Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus, and kids rode their Bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an Entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't Need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from Satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest Pizza joint. But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old Folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then? Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a Lesson in conservation from a smarty pants young person. Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much To tick us off. --- ...LMAO! A good one! Thanks KarenF! ============================================================== >-->Unusual Facts: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXFEDERAL RESERVE NOTEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXX XX THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA XXX XX XXXX XX ------- ------------ XXXX XX XXXX XX / jJ===-\ \ C7675 XXXX XX XXXXXX OOO / jJ - - L \ --- XXXXXX XXXXX OOOOO | JJ | X | __ XXXXX XXX 3 OOO | JJ --- X | OOOO 3 XXX XXX | J|\ /| | OOOOOO XXX XXX C36799887 | / | | \ | OOOO XXX XXX | | | | -- XXX XXX ------- \ / \ / XXX X XX \ ____________ / X XX XX XXX 3_________ -------- ___ _______ 3 XXX XX XX XXX ___ ONE DOLLAR i XXX XX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX -Songsinger- Most of the midnight ride of Paul Revere was accomplished by other horsemen. Joining him were William Dawes and Samuel Prescott. It was Prescott, in fact, who carried the warning to Concord, where the next day the first shots of the Revolutionary War were fired. George Washington did not toss a dollar across the Potomac. Even if he did toss something, the dollar didn't come into being until after the United States gained independence, long after the fact. Incidentally...the famous painting of Washington crossing the Delaware, standing proudly in the front of a small boat is woefully inaccurate. First of all, soldiers never held their gun barrels up because snow and rain would dampen the powder; and the fact that George was probably smart enough not to stand up in a boat, let alone make a target of him- self. Plus, the flag shown behind George wasn't designed until several years after the fact. The Liberty Bell was not made in the U.S. It was cast in London in 1752. It was not rung on the first 4th of July and actually cracked in 1835. Also, it was called the Liberty Bell for slaves seeking freedom...not the colonists. ======================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: /` |>18>> / | <- Not everything he's cracked up to be... My furniture goes back to Louis the 14th (It will, if Louis doesn't get paid before the 14th). I have a big following (Five finance companies, 3 department stores, 2 landlords and one collection agency). My ancestores go back as far as Columbus. (Some of them even went back as far as Chicago.) I dabble in oils. (He's a gas station attendant.) My brother occupied a chair of applied electricity in a famous institution. (He went to the electric chair in the state pen.) -<>- __ | +| ,,,|__| $$$ , , $$C > $$$; _< _______/ /_ ___ | |__` \~/o\ _,]-]___]-----> | / \( ) )\/.-// _( \ ) / \ | //| / ,/ \/ '/ o \ / o \ /______/\_\ \ || / \ || / \ || / / )( \ |/ \| :] [: o| |o /o| |o\ b'ger `-' `-' Catherine, a RN, was unhappy with her job, so she submitted her resignation. She was sure she'd have no trouble finding a new position, because of the nursing shortage in her area. She e-mailed cover letters to dozens of potential employers and attached her resume to each one. Two weeks later, Catherine was dismayed and bewildered that she had not received even one request for an interview. Finally she received a message from a prospective employer that explained the reason she hadn't heard from anyone else. It read: "Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, how- ever, want to thank you for the vegetable lasagna recipe." [Thanks to Reader's Digest.] I read this one and immediately thought of my sister Nicky, who has been a nurse for so long that she appends RN to her name wherever she signs it...personal correspondence, checks, etc. -<>- (`. ) ) ( ( \ \ \ \ .-' `-. / `. ( ) `-._ , _ ) ,' (.\--'( \ ( ) / \ \ \_( / ( <6 (6 \_)))\ ( `._ .:Y)__ ''' \ `-._.'`---^_))) `-._ ))) ``` ``` hjw A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs." The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?" The girl said, "I don't know....I don't eat cats." -<>- Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. "He won't get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife. "Watch this." "Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbor began. "Gee, I'm awfully sorry," said Robinson with a smug look, "but the fact of the matter is, I'll be using it all day." "In that case," said the neighbor, "you won't be using your golf clubs, mind if I borrow them?" -<>- A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner. One turned to the other and said, "You know why I'm going to win this election? Because of my 'personal touch.' For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me." "Oh, really?" replied the other. "I always tip them a nickel and ask them to vote for you." -<>- Betty, the town gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the town's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Most local residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. However, she made a mistake when she recently accused Ted, a local man, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar one afternoon. Ted, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and walked away. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night. -<>- ___ / \ _\___/_ '->---<-' ( ^ ^ ) \ # / __/'-'\__ / \/'\/ \ / _/ >o \ / > (_o_ <\ \ \_/\_/ | \__\\ \ _ \_/ / \ \_\(_ mb / \ ) \__/ a:f \ / / \\ mic > \ \ \\ __ _/ / \ __ \\ ( \\_____\_____// ) \\ \__`___( )___/__/ \7 When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly, she asked me to bring her a few items from home. One item on her list was "comfortable underwear." Not sure what she considers comfortable, I asked, "How will I know which ones to pick?" "Hold them up and imagine them on me," she answered. "If you smile, put them back." -<>- A most frustrated fellow was the man who bought a new boom- erang and had a terrible time throwing the old one away. -<>- A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong." -<>- . . :"-. .-"; |:`.`.__..__.'.';| || :-" "-; || :; :; / .==. .==. \ : _.--._ ; ; .--.' `--' `.--. : : __;` ':__ ; ; ' '-._:;_.-' ' : '. `--' .' ."-._ _.-". .' ""------"" `. /`- -'\ /`- -'\ :`- .' `. -'; ; / \ : : : ; ; ; ; : : ':_:.' '.;_;' :_ _; ; "-._ -" :`-. _.._ :_ () _; "--::__. `. \"- -"/`._ : .-"-. -"-. ""--..____.' / .__ __. \ : / , / "" \ . \ ; bug "-:___..--" "--..___;-" Q: What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck? A: A duck filled fatty puss! ============================================================ >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Friends And Health http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/friendhealth.html Greetings! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greetings.html Love Test! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovetest.html Daily With The Troops 3! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/daily3.htm Chapel With Bone Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chapel.html Chalk Art 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart5.html Awesome Bikes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/awesomebikes.html Beautiful Flowers! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bflowers.html Celebrities Then And Now http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/celebrities.html Ford's First RV! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) She sent us one we have here... Last Day! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lastday.html --- ...An excellent reminder! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From our Friend PatDeE :) CURSOR THIEF http://www.selfcontrolfreak.com/pakken.html Story Time! http://www.coolestone.com/media/3554/A-Story-For-Tomorrow/ Tamara Lowe -One Minute Sermon Jam http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfpgxPiVcs4 --- ...Awesome! Thanks PatdeE! -<>- >From Our Friend KarenF :) SINGING BIRD PISTOLS http://www.christies.com/features/singing-bird-pistols-en-1422-3.aspx --- ...Beautiful! Thanks KarenF! If I wanted America to fail" http://tinyurl.com/7g6xg85 --- ...yep - it's rigged! Thanks KarenF! -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) ripped : coursera http://goo.gl/NUiFd --- ...Great! Thanks Wesley! ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Every year there are more product-liability awards, and every year manufacturers have to put more warnings in the owners' manuals, and every year the radish-brains come up with newer, more innovative ways to injure themselves. There will come a day when every product you buy will come with an actual living lawyer inside the box, sealed in plastic; as soon as you break the seal, the lawyer will emerge and start preparing your product-liability lawsuit. (This system is feasible because product-liability lawyers are spore-based organisms who can survive for years without air.) --Dave Barry Egotist: A person more interested in himself than in me. --Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary "When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!" --Homer Simpson "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'" --Tommy Cooper "The gambling known as business looks with severe disfavor upon the business known as gambling." --Ambrose Bierce "The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do." --Homer Simpson "My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right." --Ashleigh Brilliant "If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts." --Albert Einstein "He grounds the warship he walks on." -John Bracken on Capt. Barney Kelly, who ran the USS Enterprise into the mud of San Francisco Bay in May of 1983. "I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs." --Former First Lady Nancy Reagan who was responsible for the "just say no" to drugs campaign. >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 CChristian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************