The Dog Did It And More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ _..---.._ .' .-'''-. '. / .' _..._'. \ __ : : /`;' ) : : _,="`\ ,--''` ``'.; : |; ,-; : ; __..==""==.,_| `-, `; .\; / ^\ _,.="// '-,_.--._ '.(;_.'__/`_.-'`\ ,.--''`` _..=. `'--.// `` \ `--, '` `- |_\ '-. | `-._ _.;--`-..___,.-'` `'-...-_:',;`==,| \ _.--',=" / /"=;="=, _.' ,=".-'` .' /| ,=" _.--' .-' "=, : .' | ", `;._ .--'.' .-' .' . ; ,;;\_ . '._.'--'` -' / ,;;;._ '-._ .''.__.' `\_ .' '._ / '._ .(` jgs '._ ';./ `;` *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2010 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2010 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) Well, if your browser is like mine, yesterday's Extra didn't come through too readily accessible - attaching the web page turned out pretty rough! If you want to view it like it is supposed to be, here is the link for it: _..---.._ .' .-'''-. '. / .' _..._'. \ __ : : /`;' ) : : _,="`\ ,--''` ``'.; : |; ,-; : ; __..==""==.,_| `-, `; .\; / ^\ _,.="// '-,_.--._ '.(;_.'__/`_.-'`\ ,.--''`` _..=. `'--.// `` \ `--, '` `- |_\ '-. | `-._ _.;--`-..___,.-'` `'-...-_:',;`==,| \ _.--',=" / /"=;="=, _.' ,=".-'` .' /| ,=" _.--' .-' "=, : .' | ", `;._ .--'.' .-' .' . ; ,;;\_ . '._.'--'` -' / ,;;;._ '-._ .''.__.' `\_ .' '._ / '._ .(` jgs '._ ';./ `;` Calling All Angels http://www.simplyangel.com/callingallangels.htm --- ...Thanks Again For This sweet reminder SusieQ! -<>- Had to Start out the New Year attending Services for Paul's brother's wife. It was a very nice ceremony but I wish we did not have to attend it. I wish she were still alive and well. Fortunately, she is a Christian so we shall see her again when Christ Returns as Lord Of Lord's And King of Kings! I thank God for this comfort! -<>- >Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press! This one came in from our friend Wesley. I've seen it before and remember doing it up on a page before, but as is normal with me, I can not remember things like this much after I have done them. Unless I try hard not to, I'd forget even my poems I've written. Going over my pages to try to find it, reminded me of this. I ask God for wisdom many times to do these up and then the memory of the finished page will elude me until I view it again - then I get surprised. Sometimes pleasantly and then sometimes I have to fix an error I overlooked at the time. But, any way, I could not find this one so I did it up. I do so like this and wanted to make sure it is not lost in time. Check it out here: _,--._ ,' _.._`. ,^.,' ,-" _," ; _,----.._\|( _/,--" ,< ,' ____(_))< ___..". `. : _,-"__,-" (_)-. ,\. \ :,'..-" _,-")|(\ `._.-"_,\\ \ `.__ ,-" '-`' \.-" Y : / /:-...______...-: | | ( ( |-...______...-' ; ;_ \ ,\| | /,^/ ;._ ` . . _,' ; : : _,-' ," ' ` ,-' _," ' ' _,-"`. ;`--...______,,,--":.-" ; : : `..." '---....______,,,,---' : ; `.,." SSt Christ's Bell http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bell.html --- ...Such a well done one! Thank You Wesley! -<>- . , )). -===- ,(( ))). ,((( ))))). .:::. ,(((((( ))))))))). :. .: ,((((((((' `))))))))))). : - : ,(((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))_:' ':_(((((((((((((((' `)))))))))))).-' \___/ '-._((((((((((( `))))_._.-' __)( )(_ '-._._((((' `))'---)___)))'\_ _/'((((__(---'((' `))))))))))))|' '|((((((((((((' jim `)))))))))/' '\(((((((((' `)))))))| |(((((((' `))))))| |((((((' /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ '---..___..---' >-->Shangrala Had It's Best Year Ever Last Year! GOD BLESS YOU ALL for making this happen! I Do So Thank Each And Every One Of Our Contributors Too! Your Sharing And Caring Help Shangrala To Grow... Spreading God's Word and SMILES To Thousands Of People! 561,314 page views - an average of 1,537 page views a day! Awesome compared to just 3 years ago with 51 average views a day! * If You Haven't Already, Be Sure To Visit Last Month's New Pages... Christmas With Pets http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmaspets.html 2nd Commandment http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/2ndcommand.html Political Humor 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics3.html Political Humor 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics4.html Christ's Life http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jesuslife.html Christmas Around The World http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasworld.html Miracle Coyote http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coyote.html Yearly Friendship Renewal http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/renewal.html *~* THANK YOU And Please Continue To Share These With Your Friends! -<>- , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' >-->From Our Friends At Truth Or Tradition: Hello and God bless you! We have added an extensive biblical research article online to a very common question: Do You Have to Believe in the Trinity to be Saved? http://www.truthortradition.com/saved We also recommend a free online audio seminar by Don Snedeker titled "On the Errors of the Trinity." http://www.truthortradition.com/errors We trust this biblical research material will be a blessing to you. If you like what we are doing and you would like to help us continue to spread the Gospel all over the globe, please consider sowing into our ministry at STFonline.org/donate Happy New Year from all of us at TruthOrTradition.com! ================================================================ >-->From TheFunnyBone: The Revival _|_ | | After the revival had concluded, / \ the three pastors were discussing //_\\ the results with one another. //(_)\\ |/^\| The Methodist minister said, "The ||_|| revival worked out great for us! // \\ We gained four new families." // \\ // === \\ The Baptist preacher said, "We did // =-=-= \\ better than that! We gained six new // === \\ families." //| |\\ | | The Presbyterian pastor said, | __ __ | "Well, we did even better than that! | | | | | We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble | | -|- | | makers!" |_|__|__|_| jgs /` ======= `\ /` ======= `\ ==================================================================== +------------- More Bizarre January Holidays --------------+ January 11 is National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day January 12 is Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day January 13 is Make Your Dream Come True Day and Blame Someone Else Day January 14 is National Dress Up Your Pet Day January 15 is Hat Day January 16 is Hot and Spicy Food International Day and National Nothing Day January 17 is Blessing of the Animals at the Cathedral Day January 18 is Winnie the Pooh Day January 19 is National Popcorn Day January 20 is National Buttercrunch Day ============================================================ ( * ) * ) * ( ) ( ( ( ) ( ) ) * ) ) ( ( ( ( * ) H ) ) [ ] ( ( * |-| * ) ( * ) |_| . ) ( | | . ) / \ . ' . * ( |_____| ' . . ) | ___ | \~~~/ ' . ( * | \ / | \_/ \~~~/ ) | _Y_ | | \_/ ( * jgs |-----| __|__ | * `-----` __|__ >-->The Year In Review - Memorable 2009 Quotes... >From BizarreNews: "Stop wearing a suit and tie to bed." - Former US Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, when asked about his New Year's resolutions. "I know lots of people that take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work every day, no problem. But we never hear that side of the story." -- Singer Lily Allen "People have lost their sense of humor. In former times, we constantly made jokes about different races." -- Clint Eastwood doesn't want to be politically correct. "I promise you, I get it. I will not spend a single penny for the purpose of rewarding a single Wall Street executive." -- US President Barack Obama "When you face such an overwhelming challenge as global climate change, it can be daunting - it's kind of like trying to lose weight." -- US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton "I'm a guy who doesn't see anything good having come from the Internet." -- Michael Lynton, CEO of Sony Pictures Entertain- ment "I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their actions violate a lot of public interests. They do not really dare kill themselves." -- Lai Jiansheng, who pushed a man threatening suicide off a bridge in China after he had held up traffic for five hours "What's up London?" -- Britney Spears addressing audience at her show in Manchester "Some employees may prefer weapons such as chain saws, base- ball bats and explosives that have been shown to be effective against zombies." -- University of Florida in a disaster pre- paredness plan on its e-Learning website on how to deal with a campus-wide zombie attack -<>- ( * ) * ) * ( ) ( ( ( ) ( ) ) * ) ) ( ( ( ( * ) H ) ) [ ] ( ( * |-| * ) ( * ) |_| . ) ( | | . ) / \ . ' . * ( |_____| ' . . ) | ___ | \~~~/ ' . ( * | \ / | \_/ \~~~/ ) | _Y_ | | \_/ ( * jgs |-----| __|__ | * `-----` __|__ >From Author Fred R. Shapiro's Most Notable Quotations of 2009 1. "Keep your government hands off my Medicare." Speaker at health care reform town hall meeting in Simpsonville, S.C., commenting on the government-created Medicare program, quoted by The Washington Post on July 28. 2. "We're going to be in the Hudson." Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger, responding to air traffic controllers asking on which runway he preferred to land US Airways Flight 1549 on Jan. 15 before he landed in the Hudson River. 3. "There's an app for that." Apple's advertising slogan for the iPhone. 4. "You lie!" Wilson's shouted retort to Obama's address before a joint session of Congress on Sept. 9. 5. "The Cambridge police acted stupidly." Obama, commenting on a white police officer's arrest of black scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. at his home in Cambridge, Mass., at a news conference July 22. 6. "I'm going to let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time! One of the best videos of all time!" Kanye West, interrupting Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sept. 13. 7. "Um, you guys said that we, um, did this for the show." Falcon Heene, during an interview on CNN about his parents' balloon hoax on Oct. 15. 8. "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel.'" Palin, posting on her Facebook page on Aug. 7. 9. "The governor is hiking the Appalachian Trail." Spokesman for South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford regarding Sanford's disappearance on June 22. 10. "You give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders." Jesse Ventura, during a CNN interview May 1 ====================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Denise :) People Get Ready - picture video on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9jm3qRFJ9w&feature=fvw --- , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' ...Sweet! Thanks Denise - got me a little 'home sick' there for a moment. All in due time and only God knows when our sweet Lord shall return. We just have to be patient for that day. Mark 13: 32 "But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father." The comments on this page are why I don't engage in open discussion too often. It is difficult for me to see other people's logic when it is all messed up and illogical. Makes it hard for me to understand where they are coming from. Like this one... "How merciful is he? I mean, is he so merciful he'll let Muslims go to Heaven? Is he that merciful? Is he so merciful that he'll let Buddhists? Or Hindus? Or Agnostics? Is He THAT merciful? Or do you mean 'so merciful' to people that change their religion for him? Or 'so merciful' to people that repent of their sins? Or 'so merciful' to people that believe what YOU believe God is? How fortunate for you that the God you believe exists, you think is so merciful. He doesn't seem so 'so' now." What kind of logic is that? I think in the terms of 'put yourself in God's place for a minute'. You create this entire universe with all the wonderful glorious things in it - all the heavenly lights, all the plants, animals and creatures, and then decide that You shall create mankind with the intelligence to know who YOU are so that You can have somebody that is impressed and thankful for all that You have done. Like an anonymous present is cool some of the time but there are times you want the person to know where the present came from so you can gain their love and admiration for your own loving kindness toward them. So here is this joker saying how merciful is a God who won't let all mankind into heaven. Let's just have an open-door policy and all God haters and evil doers and all those who turned their back on the one and only true God and went and worshipped the creation [false gods] instead of the Creator - let's just let them all into heaven so we can have a heaven that is just as messed up as the earth? How illogical and stupid is that? I think God deserves the right to choose who He wants to spend eternity with and it has nothing to do with mercy! He is the ultimate supreme being - The Creator of the entire universe! If any one does not like His choices then - Oh well - sorry about your luck! God CHOSE US [Christians] To Be HIS BEFORE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD. (See John 17:24 and Eph. 1:4) That is a done deal as far as I can tell. If at first you don't believe, perhaps one zillion trillion times later and then you will - that is not my call - that's up to God. How arrogant is this person and how rude! It is only because God is a very Merciful God that He doesn't knock people like them out! God IN HIS MERCY is letting them say and do these things as they will. In The Lord's Day - they will not have such freedom. If you remember, before Paul the apostle was Paul and was Saul he too was worshipping another god and killing Christians in the name of his god. Jesus helped him literally to see the light. He changed his evil ways and became a son of God himself. He was a most wonderful committed witness and servant for the Lord and for God Almighty. If God were not very merciful, Saul would not of had a second chance. ================================================================== >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' ~ WHO REALLY LOVES YOU ? ~ Who really Loves You, Puts the glitter in The Snow? Does cast the moon in Silver, Giving Nightime a beautiful glow? Who changes the `Sky` from dull gray, To Breath Taking Blue , And as night creap upon the day, Slowly putting on a Crimson Hue? Who made the Rainbow, Such A Magnificent Show, Who puts bloom on flowers, Who makes them grow? Who`s Mighty Words, Speaks to Nature, That places beauty everywhere? O, Let us voice an answer to His goodness, Hearts filled with Love, A `Thankful Prayer`. ~ "OUR FATHER WHICH ART IN HEAVEN"~ GOD`S~Love~~~~~~~John-Paul --- '...You pretty well summed that 'Mercy' thing Up - Thanks John-Paul! ================================================================ >-->In The WorldlyNews: >[POLITICS] Breaking from Newsmax.com Cheney: Obama Pretends We’re Not at War http://tinyurl.com/ybgw2j9 Yemen Attacks al-Qaida Enclave http://tinyurl.com/yarjgmr Phares: Hundreds of Terrorists Planning Attacks http://tinyurl.com/ycyr3nn Sarah Palin Leads the ‘New Feminism’ http://tinyurl.com/yb435ld -<>- >From Our Friend Del :) [POLITICS} How will you vote in Nov 2010? Certainly an option very worthy of your consideration! Pass It On For Our Country And the memory of our Founding Fathers At least read this. Form your own opinion, even if you disagree with this issue, but at least read it. You and I owe that to our country All I ask is that you consider the suggestion here. The entire Congress of the United States is corrupt. And I mean both Houses and I mean both major parties. I realize that a few Members of each House are trustworthy, but, as a group they are absolutely the most corrupt bunch to ever disgrace our Nation. In November of 2010 the entire House of Representatives will stand for re-election; all 435 of them. One third of the Senate, a total of 33 of them, will also stand for re-election. Vote every incumbent out. And I mean every one of them. No matter their Party affiliation. Let's start all over in the House of Representatives with 435 people who have absolutely no experience in running that body, with no political favors owed to anyone but their own constituents. Let's make them understand that they work for us. They are answerable to us and they simply have to run that body with some common sense. Two years later, in 2012, vote the next third of the incumbents in the Senate out. We can do the same thing in 2014 and, by that time we will have put all new people in that body as well. We, the People, have got to take this Country back and we HAVE to do it peacefully. That's what the Framers of our Constitution envisioned. I am also suggesting term limits on the NEW BUNCH -- 8 YEARS FOR REPRESENTATIVES two terms that’s all. AND 12 YEARS [2 terms] FOR SENATORS. NO EXCEPTIONS. THE LONGER THEY STAY IN OFFICE THE MORE POWER THEY GET AND THEY LOVE IT AND WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET RE-ELECTED. WE HAVE TERM LIMITED THE PRESIDENT – NOW LET'S TERM LIMIT THE LEGISLATORS. And we do away with their Special Retirement system and their health program (they should have same health programs everyone else in America does). When they are through serving their country they go back to being private citizens. They should view their service as a privilege; after all it was designed to be a part time job to represent the voice of the people, NOT the special interest groups and those who can do favors for them. If they don't like this proposal then don't run for office… Please, if you love this Country, send this (as I have done) to absolutely everyone whose email address appears in your address book. This thing can permeate this Country in no time. Let's make it happen. VOTE THE POWER ABUSERS OUT........ LET'S TAKE AMERICA BACK !!!!! IF YOU LIKE THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING IN OUR COUNTRY, THEN DO NOTHING......... --- ...Thanks Del. I already got irritated with this Congress. They constantly don't care what the people think and vote what they think is best for the people or for their pockets-money for their state etc. I'll not be voting them back in! Our founding Fathers would of kicked them out long time ago! Cap and Trade and the Health Care bill are not wanted by most of us who care about our people and our country! Only those who think we are living too high on the hog want this for us. Most of us are far from that high hog! We don't have private jets polluting our skies or mansions that cost fortunes to heat and cool. We just want to live our comfortable lives without somebody saying we are living too well or we are too old or too sick or too 'special needs' to get that much needed health care item! Just because they are feeling guilty about their excesses they don't have to take it out on us hard working citizens! We must be paying them WAY too much - Oh yeah - they vote for their own salaries too. How nice for them! WAY Too Much Power! -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Boy tried to give away family's money ----------- MUNCIE, Ind. - An Indiana fifth-grader is in hot water with his grandparents for taking $10,331 from a safe and attempting to distribute it to classmates, authorities said. Delaware County sheriff's deputies said the Selma Elementary School student took the money from a safe at the home where he lives with his custodial grandparents and handed out a little more than $300 to classmates on the bus ride to school before teachers confiscated the cash, the Muncie (Ind.) Star-Press reported Wednesday. "I doubt any of our administrators have experienced this before," Principal Joel Mahaffey said. He declined to comment further on the incident. Deputies said the boy was sent home with his grandmother. They said the money, which was in the sheriff's department's custody, would likely be returned to the family Monday. -- Groom surprised with airport wedding ------------ CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas - A Texas woman said she celebrated the airport reunions and goodbyes of her long distance relationship by surprising her boyfriend with an airport wedding. Robyn Moore said she greeted her boyfriend, William Acosta, Monday at Corpus Christi International Airport with a camera and a wedding party ready to make good on the marriage license they filled out last week, the Corpus Christi Caller-Times reported. "When I walked up and saw her, it just took my breath away," Acosta said. "She looks really beautiful." Moore said she and Acosta met while she was living in Dallas and he visited the city for business. She said she is now planning to move to Toledo, Ohio, to live with her new husband, who teaches computer science at a university in the city. "I've got the best Christmas present in the whole world," Moore said, "this is what every bride-to-be wants." ============================================================ =_ ||\ C O C O |||\ C O c O (\/\/ C O (\/\/ ||||\O (\/\/ (\/\/ /| | (\/\/ c O /| | ||||\/\ /| | /| | / | /| /| | (\/\// | /| ||||// \ / | /| / | /|/__|/ | / | /| /| |__|/ | |||/ __\| /__|/ |/__|/ | " /__|/ | / | /| " |__: //| | " " " /__|/ | - c O ! " ( ) c O (\/\/ \ -\ (\/\/ c O /| | ___ \O - \O /| | (\/\// | /| / \/|) ( & )/) / | /| /| |__|/ || ./||\ _____ -\/|\ /__|/ | / | /| " \___/ | \ /\ | (_) | \ " /__|/ | /|\ |__\ -- | |__\ " " /|\ " O ______________ /\/ /________________) O @ / \_|___O /___________| _|/_ \ O @ |/__ /_oo-#= | /( )_\ \-O \|_ | |\\ :|(/| \/ ;/_)_(_ \_\ O / |_\ ||__ |O _( ) \| /| / ( ) O / | |\\ =#-@@| / / / __\| / | ;/__)_( /_oo-#= \/ | //| | __|| ( ) | \/ __|| ___O //| | /_|_| ||__ ejm97 //| | \ \/ )>==O ' ' | |\\ | O \/) __|| /| | .-O ----- //| | / | __|| (=) ) \ __|| //| | \(/| \O //| | ___|| __/%) // | | (%%%) \/\| *__| \__* >-->THE SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE by Saskia Davis Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been expose to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world. Some signs and symptoms of inner peace: * A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences. * An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment. * A loss of interest in judging other people. * A loss of interest in judging self. * A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others. * A loss of interest in conflict. * A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.) * Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation. * Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature. * Frequent attacks of smiling. * An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen. * An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it. WARNING: If you have some or all of the above symptoms, please be advised that your condition of inner peace may be so far advanced as to not be curable. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting any of these symptoms, remain exposed only at your own risk. ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' >7% No consequences for not forwarding this, but maybe some great ones if you do. P-----pray U----until S----something H ----happens When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this. Dear God, bless all my friends and loved ones in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity and power as he/ she seeks to have a closer relationship with you. Amen. Then send it on to five other people. Within hours you caused a multitude of people to pray for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life. P. S. Five is good, but more is better. If you are one of the 7% who will stand up for Him, forward this with the title 7%, 93% of people won't forward this. -<>- .--. /-. \ < ^ `D/ \_ ( )_/;. _ __|_, \\ ,(_I_______)\ //`-----\ \ // \____/\ // / / // _____ / /\ \ .---n-. //'` `\/ / \ \ _____|_"_~_|___// /\ \ \ \ / / \ / \ `\__...--' _\__\ \_/\ \\\\\\\\\\\\'-\__/--===-\__/-'`,,,,,,,,(____\,,,(__/,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, \\\jgs\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ >GOD AND LAWNCARE GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles. St. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass. GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there? ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn. GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy. ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week. GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay? ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags. GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir. GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work. ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life. ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away. GOD: No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose? ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves. GOD: And where do they get this mulch? ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch. GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight? ST. CATHERINE: 'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about.... GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis --- ...HaHa! Thanks Jo Ann! ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Wesley :) |/| | | |/| | | |/| | | |/| (___) (___) (___) (___) (___) // \\ // \\ || || || || || || Evan M Corcoran (?) \\___// --- >Simple Home Remedies 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. 2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop. 3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 5. If you have a bad cough, take a dose of laxatives -- then you will be afraid to cough. 6. You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. 7. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. --- ...LOL - Thanks Wesley - this would be the BLONDE List Eh? ============================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man? Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work, the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans." "You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?" With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be looking for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here." The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?" "Naw! I've lived here all ma'life," answered the farmer. "Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked. This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When is it gonna be?" Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day." Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three days." -<>- \_/ --(_)-- . / \ /_\ |Q| .-----' '-----. __ /____[SCHOOL]___\ ())) | [] .-.-. [] | (((()) ..|____|_|_|____|..................................)(... ldb One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. "I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!" -<>- A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam. "I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you've all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for the test." There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up, walked to the front of the class, and took the professor up on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked, "Anyone else? This is your last chance." One final student rose up and opted out of the final. The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining. "I'm glad to see you believe in yourselves," he said. "You all get 'A's!" -<>- One caller to our answering service gave me his name, number and message and then said, "You know my name. What's yours?" "We're not allowed to give our names," I replied, "but my operator number is 4136" Sounding disappointed, he said, "May I call you by your first digit, or would that be too personal?" -<>- _ __..--''/\ _..-''_.\`| / \ \`-._ `.-'_ / \ \ ``-.(|\)`._ \ \ ,' `-._\ \ / _..--'' \/_..-'' SSt When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation." The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter that next day. The following morning, Peters found the letter on his desk. It read, "Jonathan Peters worked for our company for eleven years. When he left us, we were very satisfied." -<>- A man was sleeping soundly when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!" The man had gone through this same scenario almost every night of his marriage, and he knew that the only way he would get any rest was to get up and go check it out. This time, however, he found that there really was a man with a gun who entered to rob the house! As the thief was about to flee the man said, "Stop! You have to come with me and meet my wife." Surprised, the thief turned around abruptly and said, "Why would you want ME to meet your wife?" The man replied, "She's been expecting you for 20 years." -<>- .--~~,__ :-....,-------`~~'._.' `-,,, ,_ ;'~U' The Dog Did It! _,-' ,'`-__; '--. (_/'~~ ''''(; artist unknown I had worked late, and my Labrador was so overjoyed to see me arrive home that he jumped up just as I leaned down. Our heads collided, and I sported an impressive shiner for several weeks. I had to repeat frequently to co-workers and friends how I came by it, and one day on the elevator, a secretary whom I hadn't seen for some time looked at my black eye and ex- claimed, "My goodness, what happened to you?" "The dog did it," I wearily replied. A man standing next to us looked over at me and said knowingly, "Ahh, you must own a boxer." ================================================================ >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) World's Fastest Cars http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/fastcars.html World's Largest Things http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/largest.html World's Largest Holes http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/holes.html World Of Big Cats http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigcats.html Garbage Truck Camper http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/garbage.html Trash Shadow Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/shadowart.html Junkyard Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/junkart.html Dirty Car Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carart.html -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) 50 Best Websites 2009 http://tinyurl.com/omefgo Compare Wiki Platforms http://tinyurl.com/fqc5m SeatGuru - airplane seating, in-flight amenities, and airline information http://www.seatguru.com/ Organize your iPhone Apps http://www.movementapp.com/ Create Diagrams By Writing Sentences http://www.diagrammr.com/ --- ...Great Useful Ones - thanks Wesley! -<>- >From lynnLynn's Links: Why Women Live Longer Than Men http://www.buffaloschips.com/72105.htm Willie You Don't Think I'm Funny Anymore http://www.buffaloschips.com/72202.htm Women Drivers http://www.buffaloschips.com/72201.htm Women's Instructional Video http://www.buffaloschips.com/72203.htm Word Riddle http://www.buffaloschips.com/72204.htm World's Best Trick http://www.buffaloschips.com/72205.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================ >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "An elementary school in Santa Monica is banning tag from the playground. They're afraid that the game could affect children's self esteem. This also could prevent the spread of 'kooties'." --Jay Leno "I like to watch the World Series. Here's what I do. I sit down and drink a few beers in my underwear and scream at the TV. That's until they throw me out of Applebees." --Dave Letterman "Electricity can be dangerous. I once watched my nephew try to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded." -Tim Allen "It was different when we were kids. In second grade, a teacher came in and gave us all a lecture about not smoking, and then they sent us over to arts and crafts to make ash- trays for Mother's Day." -Paul Clay "According to a Cosmo poll, 13 percent of all men admit they've tried on a bra. The sad part, 43 percent of American men actually need one." --Jay Leno "To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other." --Jack Handy, Deep Thoughts "I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance she leaned over and pushed me." --Unknown "Looking over the job listings on The Home Depot website, I noticed one with a highly peculiar job description: 'On rare occasions there may be a need to move or lift light articles. Examples include executive assistant, bank loan officer and accounting clerk.'" "My dad's a writer. His favorite expression is 'The pen's mightier than the sword,' which I believed for a long time. Until I moved into the city, and I got into a fight with this guy. He cut me up real bad, and I drew a mustache on his face...and then I wrote him a nasty letter." --Kevin Brennan "Right on the alarm clock is the snooze button, which is basically a built-in cheating option. I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier, but finally I just taped it down." --Arj Barker >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DDARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************