The MAGIC Of It All ... :) Shangy! >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) _________________________________________________________ ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||.--. .-._ .----. || |||==|____| |H|___ .---.___|""""|_____.--.___ || ||| |====| | |xxx|_ |+++|=-=|_ _|-=+=-|==|---||| |||==| | | | | \ | | |_\/_|Bible| | ^ ||| ||| | | | | |\ \ .--. | |=-=|_/\_|-=+=-| | ^ ||| ||| | | | | |_\ \_( oo )| | | |Study| | ^ ||| |||==|====| |H|xxx| \ \ |''| |+++|=-=|""""|-=+=-|==|---||| ||`--^----'-^-^---' `-' "" '---^---^----^-----^--^---^|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| || ___ .-.__.-----. .---.|| || |===| .---. __ .---| |XX|<(*)>|_|^^^||| || , /(| |_|III|__|''|__|:x:|=| | |=| Q ||| || _a'{ / (|===|+| |++| |==| | | |Illum| | R ||| || '/\\/ _(|===|-| | |''| |:x:|=| |inati| | Y ||| ||_____ -\{___(| |-| | | | | | | | | | Z ||| || _(____)|===|+|[I]|DK|''|==|:x:|=|XX|<(*)>|=|^^^||| || `---^-^---^--^--'--^---^-^--^-----^-^---^|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||_______________________________________________________|| I FINALLY GOT THEM 'OFF THE DUSTY SHELF' When I read a story from Inspired Buffalo recently, it got me thinking about my own life. It had two simple questions - "If you were to die today, what would you put on your 'I wish I had gotten that done' list? And If You have anything listed, why don't you actively resolve it so you are ready?" After all, we never know when we might die AND we are told by God to Always be ready in case our Lord Returns for us as we will never know when that time will be either. For me, the one thing I would be most 'sorry' I had not done was getting the Bible Study Teachings I had up on the net so all could enjoy them. So I decided to quit procrastinating and GET IT DONE! I am proud and pleased to announce that I got the Bible Study pages up and available for every one to easily access! This was a major project that I have wanted to get done for years now but never got around to it. Currently, there are 140 pages of Bible Study Teachings available. I will add to these as time goes on. My request to you is that while you are checking these out, if you find errors in them, please alert me so I may fix them. I tried to troubleshoot them for typo errors etc. but it gets to be quite a task when I have limited time and attention that I can spend on them. So, if you will, please help me out. Thank you! I'd greatly appreciate it! Now, Here is one sure to please those of you who love our Lord: Who Is Jesus? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/whoisjesus.html Who Is Jesus? AND Please BOOKMARK Our Bible Study Menu from here: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/BibleStudy.html Bible Study Menu -<>- >From Our Friend Steve :) We have two new funny files for our group! _ / } /'.\ _/ ) (`- ( ,) |/ /| ' ` Elb A Little Naughty and Nice... How To Think Like A Woman Forget the nice - this one is Naughty! ... ANIMALS in CAR Visit and Watch them here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/files/ -- ...Thanks Steve - These were funny! -<>- >HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press: This amazing one comes from our friend Del... Learn all about 'The Bear Man' here: ()_()()_() / ..)(.. \ __/ ( || ) \_ (_/ * * (_) | | | || | | | \_/| \__/ | | > \ / <__,--,__|/|_> unknown Wild Bear Farm http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildbearfarm.html --- ...Thanks Del! This was way cool! -<>- >I'm Sure You'll Enjoy These New Pages too... . .::. ::::. '::::. ':: .::' The MAGIC Of It All {} _, ___/__\_// (_\_ _/ -' `)(` jgs ~""~ I did some programming work for InspiredBuffalo this summer... Took me awhile to get them to work off of her new web site, Finally though - Here are the finished Pages... :) Don't Quit http://www.inspiredbuffalo.com/buffalo/dontquit.html Parent Reflections http://www.inspiredbuffalo.com/buffalo/parents.html Staying Safe In This World http://www.inspiredbuffalo.com/buffalo/stayingsafe.html ---> PLEASE BE SURE TO VISIT AND PASS THESEE ON <--- THANK YOU! ============================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: ._. /_|_\ Trouble on The Highway _.:`___`:-._ ,~'-;(oIo);-'~, `~-( | )=~` | |_ | A car breaks down along the ; ._. ; expressway one day, so the _..-;|\ - /|;-._ driver eases it over onto .-' /_ \\_// _\ '-. the shoulder of the highway. /` ; /__\-'__\; `\ He jumps out of the car, ; \.--| |O O |'-./ ; opens the trunk, and pulls |__ / \ _;O__O___/ \ __| out two men in trench coats. | \ [I_[_]__I] / | \_( ; |O O ; )_/ The men stand behind the car, | | | open up their coats and start | ; | exposing themselves to the | | | oncoming traffic. This ; | | results in one of the worst | | | pile-ups in history. | | ; | | | When questioned by police '-.;____..-' why he put two deviates | || | along the side of the road, |__||__| the man replied, "I broke jgs [__][__] down and was just using my .-'-.||.-'-. emergency flashers!" (___.' '.___) ================================================================= +----------------- Bizarre Personal Ads -------------------+ Looking for third-degree-burned beauties to satisfy my grow- ing fetish for wrinkled skin. Have tried elderly women and bathtub babes, but now only skin grafts get me going. I've got issues; you've got the cure. I need lots of time on the couch; you need a sympathetic ear and board certi- fication. Must not charge by the hour. Petite mountaineeress seeks tall female for climbing. If you're under 6 feet tall, averse to ropes, or wary of long expeditions, don't apply. Single female who enjoys interpretive dance, wearing black clothing, and drinking herbal tea seeks standoffish, analy- tical wimp to create Jell-O sculptures and ballroom dance in my living room. Thirty-five-year-old doctor who wants to finally meet a woman with true inner beauty. Outward appearance not a factor. Please send X-rays. You have brown hair and green eyes, with a mole on your left cheek. I watch you from behind the bushes with my binoculars. Don't bother to respond; I already know where you live. Former scientist in search of test subject for study on the line between pleasure and pain, ecstasy and excruciation. Those with high pain thresholds ineligible. Born-again female Pentecostal seeks male acolyte for meaningful relationship and serpent handling. Speaking in tongues a plus! God-fearing applicants only. ================================================================ >-->From Our Friend Betty :) >A Dog's Purpose `. ---)..( ||||(,o) ptr "`'" \__/ A Dog's Purpose in life, (from a 6-year-old) Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why." Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and bbeing nice, right?" The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long." Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. __ /\/'-, ,--''''' /" ____,'. ) \___ '"""""------'"""`-----' pb Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like: * When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. * Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. * Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. * Take naps. * Stretch before rising. * Run, romp, and play daily. * Thrive on attention and let people touch you. * Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. * On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass. * On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree. * When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. * Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. * Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough. * Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not. * If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. * When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently. * Be always grateful for each new day. -<,,>- >An Atheist An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'? 'Very Well,' said the voice. The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: 'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, .--. .--. : (\ ". _......_ ." /) : '. ` ` .' /' _ _ `\ / 0} {0 \ Amen.' | / \ | | /' `\ | \ | . .==. . | / '._ \.' \__/ './ _.' jgs / ``'._-''-_.'`` \ `--` --- ...Good Ones - TeeHee - Thanks Betty! =================================================================== >-->From Our Friends Del, Casey, & MrWu :) N / \ |_.,| (_)(_) | = | | | `---^ -^--^- - a:f - >Taste Like Wine? On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne? "No," said the little boy . "It's a puppy." --- ...Oh No! ==================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Steve :) >The two rules for success are: 1. Never tell them everything you know. --- ...Hey! -<,,>- >Spaghetti For several years, a married man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: _"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti._ _Three with meatballs, two without._ _"Send extra sauce."_ ,,, _,_ _@_ _(_ _?_ >*< _/. .\_ _/- -\_ _/, ,\_ _/' '\_ _/a a\_ _/. .\_ (.\_o_/.) (.\_-_/.) (,\_e_/') (.\_^_/.) (.\_~_/') (.\_c_/.) (.`,.`'.') (.`,.'.'.) (.`'.,'.') ('.,'.`'.) (.'.,'.`.) (.,'.,'',) ('.`,'`,) ('.`,'',) ('.','.`) ('.,'.',) ('.,'.`.) (',.'`.,) ('.`,'`) ('.','`) (.'.,'.) ('.`.,') ('.','') (.'.'.') jgs `--'"` `--'"` `--'"` `--'"' `--'"' `--'"' --- ...Momma-Mia! ===================================================================== >-->From BizarreNews: .-. ## ) * _.-+*'`*+-._ ,## _ _ #. ;### ((.;;.)) ##: .=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=, >##; *-')_@@_(`-* ;###< ---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l `-""-' There is bizarre and then there are stories like this. A Michigan couple are happy to be alive after a cow fell from a 200-foot cliff and landed on top of their minivan outside Manson, Wash. Charles Everson Jr., 49, of Westland, Mich., said he never saw the incoming animal until it landed squarely on the minivan as he and his wife Linda traveled along Highway 150. "It was just 'bam' -- you just saw something come down and hit the hood," he said of Sunday's accident. "I'm like, 'I don't believe this. I don't believe this..'" County Fire Chief Arnold Baker said the cow, which he estimated at nearly 600 pounds, had been reported missing by a local breeder. Whatever caused the animal to hurdle off the cliff remains a mystery, but Baker commented the couple was lucky to escape with only a heavily-damaged vehicle. "It's funny because it was such a close call," Baker said. "Inches different and the couple in this car would have been killed." Bizarrely, Lewis ============================================================= >-->From The Jokester: >Difference in Toilet Paper A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper. "Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?" "Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's kiss. It's $1.50 per roll." He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll." Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 cents per roll." "Give me the No Name," she says. She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne." "Why?" he asks. "Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take sh*@* off anybody!" -<**>- A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the perfume counter. She sees, "My Sin", "Desire", and "Ecstasy". She says to the salesperson, "I don't want to get emotionally involved...I just want to smell nice." -<,,>- Price of Oranges Mrs. Golden was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?" "Two for a quarter," answered the vendor. "How much is just one?" she asked. "Fifteen cents," answered the vendor. "Then I'll take the other one," said Mrs. Golden. --- ...Man! Must be an OLD Joke - Oranges now are 2 for $3.00! -<,,>- >Things Every Kindergartner Knows About Food .===. _ _ / _/\ \ / )%.===.%( \ \/6.6\/ | // ,,, \\ | ( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===. _)---(_ /\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \ / `~` \ ^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ ) /\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )( \ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_) \|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \ | L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) ) |__|__| / ()/^\() \ /'._\|/_.'\ | | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\ |_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"` jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) 9. If it tastes really bad, the teacher knows a song about how great it is! 8. In a pinch, glue is an acceptable condiment. 7. Absolutely everything tastes better with chocolate syrup or ketchup on it. 6. Most blue food you find in the fridge will make the puppy sick. 5. Mom's M&M cookies are worth two sandwiches and a dead frog. 4. Dr. Pepper supplies the best on-demand burps. 3. Most foods can be used as finger paints when necessary. 2. Your dog, your cat and your one-year-old brother all look the same eating peanut butter. 1. Happy Meal french fries last longer than the Happy Meal toys....but the toys taste better. -<..>- >What I Didn't Know Before I Had Kids mom, you up there? / ,==. |~~~ / 66\ | \c -_) |~~~ `) ( | / \ |~~~ / \ \ | (( /\ \_ |~~~ \\ \ `--`| / / / |~~~ jgs___ (_(___)_| * Who John Jacob Jingle Heimershmitt is. * How to change a diaper in the dark, in a parked car, on a standing child and all of the above simultaneously. * Which lines of The Cat in the Hat and If I Ran the Circus can be skipped over without a child noticing. * How bright a 3 a.m. full moon is. * The design marvels of hooded towels, Velcro-strap shoes and mitten clips. * Locations of public restrooms all across town. * Why anyone would bother retracing their steps for miles just to retrieve a lost blankie. * That tigers live in the trees in our backyard. * How to open a van door while bobbling 2 lunch boxes, two extra coats, a purse, a diaper bag and a baby. * That solid white socks get lost in the dryer at a much slower rate than do the mates of patterned socks that coordinate to special outfits. * How little sleep a human body truly needs to function. * Almost every Disney lyric ever penned. * How to spell amoxicillin, let alone say it. * That one can never own too many sippy cup lids or refrigerator magnets. * Scientific names of dinosaurs from A to Z. * That reverse psychology really works. * The recipe for a homemade version of Play-doh. * The distinctive sounds of Cheerios crunching underfoot. * Why they call them Happy meals. * How far you can dilute juice and still retain it's taste. * The blessedness of naps, the inviolate importance of routines. * How much you could love one human being! ====================================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: ____ .--`` _``--. /`- __- -\ \ \\`'. // /` `\ \ \\ \ \ / /.` `. \ \ _\'. .-. |// ,,, `._.-` `'.-. / \/ .'` `'. .'` `'. \ / \ /` /=. |/ .--. \/ .--. \ _ `\ /` \ | / ` || / ` | /-& `\ `\ .'-: | : || | : -'. /` `\ | '\ '/ \\ ..` | /` `\ \ (_ `--'` ~~ `'--` _) / /` (_) `--..________..--` (_) `-.___ `-==-` ___.-` /; `-.____.-` `\ Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old? Well. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist when I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. Surely, this balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. But just to be sure, after he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Timken High School. "Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Trojan," he gleamed with pride. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1961. Why do you ask?" "You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, bald, gray-haired, decrepit old man asked, "What did you teach?" -<**>- >KIDS! ____ .-'& '-. / \ : o o ; ( (_ ) : ; \ __ / `-._____.-' /`"""`\ / , \ /|/\/\/\ _\ (_|/\/\/\\__) |_______| __)_ |_ (__ jgs (_____|_____) JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?" ................................. MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. So Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six" ................................. STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window." ................................. BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?" ................................. DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?" ................................. MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?" ................................. JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read : "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?" ................................. TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?" To subscribe, send a blank mailto:scream_of_the_crop-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ========================================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From AFA: [Another one taking Christ out of Christmas...] Lowe's refuses to call them "Christmas trees," chooses to call them "Family trees" In an effort to avoid the use of the term "Christmas tree," Lowe's has renamed their Christmas trees and are now calling them "Family trees." In their Holiday 2007 catalog, containing 56 pages of Christmas gifts, Lowe's advertises hundreds of gift items, including scores of "Family trees." In fact, the word "Christmas" only appears two times in the entire holiday catalog. The ads mentioning "Christmas cover only 12 square inches of the 5236 square inches available. To see the front cover of the catalog and a page featuring their "Family trees." catalog ad. Click here: http://tinyurl.com/32dhnv Take Action * Send the e-mail to Lowe's. Ask them why they refer to their Christmas trees as "Family trees." Click here: http://tinyurl.com/365hvr * Forward this to your friends and family and ask them to send the e-mail. * Sponsor your church in our "Project Merry Christmas." Click here for details. http://tinyurl.com/2pzxjp Sincerely, Don Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman American Family Association -<>- >From LifeScrift: Is Your Lipstick Leaded? Ever since Cleopatra tinted her lips with henna and carmine, women have been painting their pouts. Some have even been femme fatales. But none expected their kisses really were poison. It seems women’s lipsticks are packing more than waxy color. A recent study of brands manufactured in the United States found that some contain surprisingly high levels of lead from pigments used to create the colors… Click Here For More: http://www.lifescript.com/HA/19508_4238409_3668_0.htm New US Vaccine Guidelines for Adults Released NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - The Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices, a division of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, has released the 2007-2008 recommended immunization schedules for adults in the US, according to a report in the Annals of Internal Medicine. The schedule, which is established each ... click here to read more: http://www.lifescript.com/HA/19511_4238409_3668_0.htm -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: Here, take my kid's card Some networking-minded New York parents are keeping socially connected by handing out business cards -- for their kids. The cards -- which typically feature a child's name, contact information and a clever message like "My crib or yours?" -- are spreading like chicken pox, The New York Post reported. The brightly-colored cards can be purchased online or in shops catering to the under-5 demographic, the newspaper said. At one New York shop, Baby iDesign, the owner said demand for the cards, which sell at $60 per box, has tripled in the last year. Cuteness aside, parents who use the cards say they also have a practical side, the newspaper said. They are a good way to meet and keep track of other new moms, and more practical than the crayon and paper method. Transgender MP can't be wedding witness Italy's first transgender member of parliament is crying foul after being prohibited from standing up as a witness at a cousin's wedding. "It's an outrage," said Vladimir Luxuria, a 42-year-old former drag queen. "This just goes to show how out-of-touch the Church is with the wider Catholic community, which is increasingly open and tolerant." Luxuria, born Wladimiro Guadagno, said she considers herself neither male nor female but prefers feminine pronouns and references, the Italian news agency ANSA reported. Luxuria said she didn't think the ban was legitimate, because rules governing wedding witness do not mention people's gender. Witnesses who are the best man or maid of honor sign the wedding certificate. The bishop's office in the city of Foggia confirmed Luxuria was banned, but did not offer an explanation, ANSA said. --- ...Ahh, cry me a river! -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Police: No smoking means no smoking ----------- DANBURY, Conn. - A man accused of openly smoked a cigar laced with marijuana inside the Danbury, Conn., police station learned no smoking means no smoking of any kind. Police arrested Scott Snow, 24, charging him with possession of marijuana after finding two bag of suspicious- looking, plant-like material, The (Danbury) News Times reported Wednesday. Snow also was charged with possession 1,500 feet of a school zone because an elementary school was about a half-block away. Police Capt. Robert Myles said Snow tooled into the police station lobby, walked up to the partition separating desk officers from the public, and blew smoke through the small opening in the glass. Unaware of exactly what Snow was doing, an officer told him smoking in the building was prohibited. Snow sucked on the cigar again, expelling another cloud of smoke through the opening then extinguished the cigar on the counter, the newspaper said. This time, Myles said, police went to the lobby and caught a whiff of the smoke filling the room. "As one of the guys said later, 'You can't make this stuff up,'" Myles told The News Times. -- Robber flees with adding machine ------------- FAIRFIELD, Conn. - A Fairfield, Conn., doughnut shop robber had a big hole in his caper -- he grabbed the store's add- ing machine instead of the cash register. The man entered a Dunkin' Donuts Monday night, claiming to be armed with a gun and bomb, the (Bridgeport) Connecticut Post reported. He gave the clerk a note threatening to use both, grabbed what he thought was the cash register and ran into a wait- ing car, police said. However, the bumbling robber's cash haul added up to a big zero -- since he grabbed the store's adding machine -- which didn't even have money drawers. -- Baby rattled by SUV in his room ------------- KENT CITY, Mich. - A Kent City, Mich., couple heard a crash on their infant monitor and found an SUV had careened into their home -- and stopped 1 foot from their son's crib. The frantic parents flew out of bed and down the stairs Tuesday night where they found 5-month-old Quinn Fox in his crib covered with "debris and dust" but otherwise unharmed, his mother, Kim Fox, told Thursday's Grand Rapids (Mich.) Press. After making sure his son was OK, Neven Fox turned his attention to the large metal intruder in the room and told the driver to "cut the engine," the Press said. The 49-year- old driver of the SUV was treated for minor injuries and charged with drunken driving. =================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: ,-"-. ,' .----. _________ `. ,' ) (@)__))___) |`-.-'| # \\ `---' ^ hjw Our college just completed a new three-story building. While walking down a hall on the 2nd floor, I overheard two students say, "I really like the skylights on the 3rd floor." "Me too," remarked the second student. "I don't know why they didn't just put some on the 2nd floor too." -<>- My violin teacher was teaching a large group class. She showed them her violin and said, "This violin was made in the early 1800s." Someone in the audience raised their hand and asked, "So, you got it used?" -<>- Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks while gambling, the big, high-class casinos are now equipped with sophisticated defibrillators. They are computer-controlled to deliver the exact electric shock needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you're at a big, high-class casino. At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob. -<>- I almost got thrown out of my sister-in-law's house one year at the holidays. I told them that I was thinking of opening a restaurant (I did this with a straight face, so they thought I was serious). Her and her family at the time were vegetarians, but I said I was going to open a restaurant that specialized in venison dishes. I was going to call it, "The Buck Stops Here," and my slogan was going to be, "Bambi: You've seen the movie. Now, eat the star!" -<>- On the phone with a golf buddy who has asked him to play, a guy says: "I am the master of my home and can play golf whenever I want. But hold on a minute while I find out if I want to." -<>- .----------------. /__________________\ ||\ ________ /| _ | || |: :| |o(_)| || |;-""""-;| |o(_)| || |________| | __ | ||/__________\|[__]| hjw "------------------" A bagel left unattended in a microwave, set off the fire alarm. The microwave, charred and smoking, was carried outside and placed on the sidewalk. A fireman walked up and said, "Is this the object that started the fire?" One of the employees said, "No. When we take a break, it takes a break." ============================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit: >From Linky&Dinky: TAKE A WALK on the DARK SIDE of the moon. http://www.jaxa.jp/press/2007/11/20071107_kaguya_movie_e.html HERE'S WHAT *they* SHOULD DO Because you should be calling the shots. All of them. http://www.shoulddothis.com/ THE HOLLYWOOD CELEB SCENE like it was high school. With pictures. And U R THER! http://www.dlisted.com/ -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: John w/ Happy Thanksgiving http://heavens-gates.com/happythanksgiving/ Giggles Via Carol http://www.spiritisup.com/giggles.html Rythyms Of Life http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol40.html Amusing Facts, Useless Facts, Strange Facts, Weird Facts http://www.amusingfacts.com/ MASSIVE TOY RESEARCH DATABASE http://www.drtoy.com/awards/2007_3_list.php The Evolution Of Dance http://www.theevolutionofdance.com/ Freedom Isn't Free: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedom.html Doggie Zone http://www.riversongs.com/cards/dalmatians.html Feline Force... http://www.thelolcats.com/ If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ================================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Dad's are born without the sympathy gene. You can break your leg, hobble into your house, and all your dad will do is look over the paper and grumble, 'Shake it off!'" --Robert G. Lee "My mom used to tell me not to eat so fast because it wasn't good for me. So I put a strobe light over the table." --Nick Arnette "When it came to spankings, my dad never used a belt. One time he grabbed a piece of my Hot Wheels race car track. In my mind I'm thinking, 'Great, now I'm being beaten with my own toys...' Thank God I didn't get that wood burning set I wanted." --Scott Wood "My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures We took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film." -Cynthia Levin "Noah Webster was the first epidemiologist in the United States. That actually lead to his developing the dictionary. He needed to look up what the heck an epidemiologist was." -Isaac Asimov "The only way my wife and I could afford to have kids is if she breast-fed them for eighteen years." -Paul Alexander When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick. — George Burns We need not worry so much about what man descends from-it's what he descends to that shames the human race." -Mark Twain "Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect." -Steven Wright "Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it." -Don Herold >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :)Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************