The Meanings Of Love... :) Shangy!
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Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
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you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
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================
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-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
We are less than two weeks away from Easter! Knowing this,
I decided to get busy and make an Easter Index for the
web site. Check it out here...
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unknown
Easter Index
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easterindex.html
-<>-
>HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This scorcher comes from our friend Jo Ann. A pretty
awesome detailed work. Most stunning! Check this
one out here...
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|^^^^^^^^^^||+|
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.... ....".
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unknown
LEGO Church
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/legochurch.html
---
...Amazing! My grandkids love this! Thank You Jo Ann!
=======================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone:
Two Free Tickets To The Show
_
mMm _[_]_
A young couple got married and went away on /(")\ (")
their honeymoon. After two weeks they came //)^(\\//:\\
back and finally put away all of the presents /(/&@&\\/|~|/
they received from friends and family. Since / /-~`~-\ |||
this was a new home, the process took some `/ \|||
time. `----------'--
The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for
display and some of the more intimate apparel was put in the bedroom
drawers.
A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular
show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and
warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the
envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single
line.
"Guess who sent them."
The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the
effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their
return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the
unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of
value. And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper
on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the
tickets:
"Now you know!"
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
March 23 is National Chip and Dip Day and Near Miss Day
March 24 is National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day
March 25 is Pecan Day and Waffle Day
March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and National Spinach Day
March 27 is National "Joe" Day
March 28 is Something on a Stick Day
March 29 is National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
z
z
Z
.--. Z Z
/ _(c\ .-. __
| / / '-; \'-'` `\______
\_\/'/ __/ ) / ) | \--,
| \`""`__-/ .'--/ /--------\ \
\\` ///-\/ / /---;-. '-'
jgs (________\ \
'-'
>Diet Tips
A few friends and I were discussing diet tips.
When it was mentioned that getting enough exercise and sleep were just
as important as watching food intake, someone responded with surprise
that sleep was a factor.
Another replied: "Of course sleep has a lot to do with dieting. The
only time I'm not eating is when I'm sleeping!"
-<>-
>Fancy Restaurant
While on vacation, our family went to dine at a fancy restaurant. Our
young girls were quietly playing under the table while we ate.
A nearby couple kept staring at us, which annoyed me because the kids
were not being disruptive.
Finally the woman leaned over and said, "You should know that your
girls are picking gum off the bottom of the table and eating it."
-<>-
>Hair Curlers
My wife still uses curlers in her hair after she washes it.
The other night she came into the Family Room as I was watching TV.
I guess I stared at her funny because she said, "I just set my hair."
The last thing I remember saying was, "Oh, really? And what time does
it go off?"
-<>-
>Mathematically Speaking
A high-school geometry teacher started a lesson on triangles by reading
a theorem. "If an angle is an exterior angle of a triangle, then its
measure is greater than the measure of either of its corresponding
remote interior angles."
He noticed that one student wasn't taking notes and asked him why.
"Well," the student replied sincerely, "I was waiting for you to start
speaking English."
-<>-
>Zero Tolerance Bonehead Award
The "Zero Tolerance Bonehead Award" goes to the (name removed)
Elementary School in Ohio for seeking the suspension of a 6-year-old
student on a "dangerous weapons violation" because he took a plastic
butter knife from the school cafeteria and put it in his backpack so he
could take it home and show his mother that he can butter his toast by
himself.
Now the boy faces a 6-month suspension. In response, the parents have
hired a lawyer, and say that if the school continues to seek a
suspension, then they will seek in return to have criminal charges
brought against the school for "supplying dangerous weapons to
children."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
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>SMILES
"Take a bunch of flowers home for your wife, sir,"
urged the street vendor.
"I haven't got a wife," replied the young man.
"Then buy a bunch for your sweetheart."
"I don't have a sweetheart, either."
"Well then, buy a couple of bunches to celebrate your
luck."
--------
The elderly woman was at the gynecologist's office for her checkup
appointment. The doctor was having a hard time getting his gooseneck
lamp to stay in one place so that he could see well.
Finally he told the nurse, "Well, that thing's just worn out!"
The old lady sat up and said, "I can't help it, doctor! I'm OLD!"
--------
A man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and
asks him how he is feeling. "I'm okay but I didn't like the four-letter
words the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say??"
asked the nurse.
"'Oops!'"
--------
The local sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of
his pickup into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping
garbage in the ditch? Can't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here. The sign says:
'Fine For Dumping Garbage.'"
--------
A commercial traveler was passing through a small town when he came
upon a huge funeral procession.
"Who died?" he asked a nearby local.
"I'm not sure," replied the local gent, "but I think it's the one in
the coffin."
-------
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around
and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the
problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," she
explained.
"It took us awhile to find a new pilot."
--------
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying "Free
to good home, You want it -- you take it."
For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking
twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of
this deal - looks to good to be true - so he changed the sign to read
"Fridge for sale $50."
The next day someone stole it.
--------
Blonde to Help Desk: "My printer won't print."
"Are you running it under Windows?"
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good
point. The guy in the cubicle next to me is under a
window and he can print just fine."
-------
The Vacation Bible School theme for the day was "God's All-Star
Champions," so they had sports-related activities. To get in the
sports spirit, and since Denver has several professional sports teams,
the minister asked, "What is the name of the place where the Colorado
Avalanche play hockey?"
One of the children answered, "Pepsi Center."
"And where do the Denver Broncos play?"
"Invesco Field at Mile High."
"And where do the Colorado Rockies play?"
"Coors Field."
"And finally, where do the Nuggets play?"
"McDonalds!"
--------
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane
Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, "Aren't you Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
--------
An American football coach walked into the locker room before a game,
looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you
play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have
to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can
play."
The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked,
"Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two
plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?"
"Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.
Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming..., "Come on
coach, give him another chance!"
--------
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the
foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with
names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The
six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the
pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good
morning, Alex."
"Good morning, Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque.
"Pastor, what is this?"
The pastor said, "Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and
women who died in the service."
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear
asked, "The 8:30 or the 10 AM service?"
-------
>Not everything he's cracked up to be...
My furniture goes back to Louis the 14th (It will, if Louis
doesn't get paid before the 14th).
I have a big following (Five finance companies, 3 department
stores, 2 landlords and one collection agency).
My ancestors go back as far as Columbus. (Some of them even
went back as far as Chicago.)
I dabble in oils. (He's a gas station attendant.)
My brother occupied a chair of applied electricity in a
famous institution. (He went to the electric chair in the
state pen.)
-------
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pjb
You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are
actually either male or female. Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS:
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right
through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS:
These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm
them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right
buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong
Buttons.
TIRES:
Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
HOT AIR BALLOONS:
Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to
light a fire under them.
SPONGES:
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently
getting hit on.
TRAINS:
Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for
picking up people.
EGG TIMERS:
Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts
to the bottom.
HAMMERS:
Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all,
and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL:
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this:
It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he
doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying
Send this to all the women you care about...and to any men who
appreciate a good laugh !
---
...LOL! Thanks LouiseA!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From BizarreNews:
Remember the scare film from 1939; Reefer Madness? It was
propaganda designed to show parents that if they let their
kids smoke 'Mary-Jane' they would turn into s@#-addicted,
violent sociopaths. Even back then the movie was laughable
to all but the most naive audiences, and now we are able
to look back on it as the ignorant paranoia that it is...
except that it totally isn't! A recent incident in South
Dakota makes the mayhem depicted in Reefer Madness look like
mischievous hijinks.
The story starts with a teenager smoking pot with two friends
in the basement of his father's house. Mistake no. 1; don't
smoke pot indoors if there is a risk of being detected. That
smell is impossible to hide.
So the father discovered them and ordered the two friends to
leave, but when his son wanted to leave with his friends his
father refused to let him go. That's when a scuffle broke out.
Dad was able to hold both of them while he called the police,
but no arrests or report was made because he just wanted his
son's friends to leave.
You would think that narrowly avoiding arrest for possession
and consumption of marijuana would be enough adventure for
a couple of teens for one night, but these two, cranked up
on the sticky-icky, immediately went to round up 20 of their
watery-eyed friends and laid in wait for the dad.
When he went outside to move a car parked in his driveway,
the mob surrounded the car and started beating on it and
smashing the windows.
Finding himself in a scene out of a horror movie, the victim
threw that hooptie in gear and took off across the lawn.
One neighbor said, "All of a sudden, I saw a car going 30
to 40 mph hit the curb. All you could see is headlights and
kids running all over, then I saw a kid get hit while he was
coming off the curb. That's when they switched to start
chasing each other in their cars."
The neighbor called police to report the incident. He tried
to get the plates of the vehicles the teens were in but was
unsuccessful.
"Then it was just constant cars flying down these roads. They
were hitting and swerving at each other. You don't even see
this stuff on TV."
Eventually, the mob dispersed. The victim was able to identify
a few of the teens but didn't know most of them.
One witness said he thinks both the teens and the victim
should be arrested. He said the victim was trying to run the
teens over and could have handled the situation better.
*-- Parents climb walls in India to help students cheat --*
PATNA, India (UPI) - Parents in India's Bihar state were
caught on camera scaling school walls to help 10th grade
students cheat on their exams. Officials said more than
600 students -- possibly up to 1,600 -- were expelled in
Bihar after being caught cheating on exams Wednesday and
Thursday as 1.4 million 10th grade students sat for the
tests. Education officials said many students smuggled in
textbooks and notes, while pictures and video shot outside
several of the state's schools recorded parents and other
family members scaling walls to pass cheat sheets to
students. Education minister PK Shahi said it would be
impossible to completely eradicate cheating without the
cooperation of parents in the state. "It is impossible to
hold completely fair examination without the cooperation
of the parents. There are over 1.4 million examinees and
with each of them there are usually three-four people.
Managing six to seven million people is not a cup of tea
for any administration. It requires parental and societal
support as well," Shahi told the Hindustan Times. Prasad
Sinha, who formerly served as chair of the Bihar School
Examination Board, said part of the problem is the low
quality of instruction in schools. "After all, unless they
are taught in schools, how can they be expected to answer?
Just passing the test should not be the goal, but
unfortunately that is the mindset," Sinha said. Bihar, one
of India's poorest states, has only a 64 percent literacy
rate, compared to 74 percent for the country as a whole.
*-- Fire extinguisher factory burns down in Chicago --*
CHICAGO (UPI) - More than 150 Chicago firefighters were
called to fight flames at a building housing one of the
department's closest allies -- a fire extinguisher factory.
Chicago Fire Department officials said the building in the
Archer Heights neighborhood on the southwest side of the
city ignited Thursday night and the fire worsened to three
alarms about 9:30 p.m., leading to a total 156 firefighters
responding with 26 pieces of equipment. A portion of the
building, which firefighters said housed a fire
extinguisher manufacturing business, collapsed as a result
of the intense fire, the department said. First Deputy
Fire Commissioner Charles Stewart III said the nature of
the blaze made it difficult to reach the flames with water.
"We had one engine feed another engine to another engine
until we got water on the fire," he told WMAQ-TV.
Firefighters said no injuries were reported and the cause
of the fire remained under investigation Friday.
*-- Bride backs out of marriage to math-challenged groom --*
RASOOLABAD, India (UPI) - A mathematically-challenged
groom in India was dumped by his bride-to-be when he
failed to correctly answer a basic addition problem just
prior to the ceremony. Police in Uttar Pradesh said they
were called to mediate between the bride and groom's
families Wednesday in Rasoolabad after Lovely Singh backed
out of plans to wed Ram Baran when she discovered her
intended husband could not add 15 and six. Baran gave the
answer as 17 instead of the correct 21. Mohar Singh, the
father of the bride, said Baran's family failed to
disclose his lack of education before the marriage plans
were arranged. "Any [first grade] student must be able
to solve the simple problem asked by us. The family of
the groom had kept us in dark about the youth's
qualification," Singh said. "It was a very embarrassing
situation for all of us as we had come with all
preparations and it was a matter of social prestige as
well. We have been cheated," he told The Times of India.
Police mediated between the families and both sides
agreed to return all gifts they received in advance of
the wedding.
*-- French man allegedly hid Russian wife in suitcase at
Polish border crossing --*
TERESPOL, Poland (UPI) - A Frenchman was detained by
Polish border guards after a search of his suitcase
revealed shocking contents -- his Russian bride. Polish
Border Guard officers at the Terespol border crossing
from Belarus said they searched the luggage of a French
train passenger in his 60s and discovered his large
suitcase was concealing his Russian wife, who is in her
30s. The guards said the couple told them the woman was
hiding in the suitcase because they feared she would not
be allowed to cross the border from Belarus to Poland
due to her lack of European Union citizenship. Dariusz
Sienicki, spokesman for Polish Border Guard, said the
woman "was in good shape and wasn't in need of any
medical attention." Sienicki said the man was unaware
that his wife would have been allowed to cross the border
because he possessed the proper documentation showing
their marital ties. "If she had traveled sitting next
to her husband, she would have gone through smoothly,"
Sienicki said. The man and woman were detained on a
charge of attempting to evade border control. They could
each face up to three years in prison if convicted. "This
was the first time I've seen someone travel like this. She
very well could have been a victim of human trafficking,"
Sienicki said.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Karen :)
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>A tale of two brooms
Two brooms were hanging in the closet
and after a while they got to know each
other so well, they decided to get married.
One broom was, of course, the bride broom,
the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her
white dress. The groom broom was handsome and
suave in his tuxedo.
The wedding was lovely and all the kitchen
utensils had a great time!
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner,
the bride-broom leaned over and said to the
groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little
whisk broom!!!"
"IMPOSSIBLE !!" said the groom broom.
"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
---
...LOL! A great classic! Thanks Karen!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
__ @@;,
( ; ? : );
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| \ \ \/ || \/ ___ / / |
__| |\ __||____||___||______/| |
||| | |_______ _________| | |||
||| |____ | | ____| ||| Design by
\ \______ ) | | / ______/ /
|| | | | | | /___| || Samule J. Neptune
|| | | |_ /| | |\ _| || ||
|| | \__, / | | | \<__/ | ||
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he
had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and
on the card invite her to your apartment for a home- cooked meal?”
He thought this was a great strategy, and arranged a date for
a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to
see how things had gone.
“The evening was a disaster,” he moaned.
“Why, didn’t she come over?” asked his mother.
“Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook….”
---
...HaHaHa! Thanks Geniann!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend PatDeE :)
.-----.
//, `--
(/// _
(// / ) .--
( \ (/ /
\_\_)/
\
\
VK \
\
(_)
>The Hypnotist at the Senior Citizens' Center
It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Center.
After the community sing-along led by Alice at the piano, it
Was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist! Claude
explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.
"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time," said Claude.
The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew,
from His waistcoat pocket, a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and
chain.
"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch,"said Claude, holding the
watch High for all to see.
"It's a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family
for six Generations," said Claude.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly
chanting, "Watch the watch -- Watch the watch -- Watch the watch"
The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.
The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming
surfaces.
A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently
Swaying watch.
They were hypnotized.
And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!!
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact.
"S#!T,"said Claude.
It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Center and
Claude was never invited there again.*
---
...Oh For Goodness sakes! Thanks PatDeE!
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
__i
|---|
|[_]|
|:::|
|:::|
`\ \
\_=_\ jsm
A wife called her husband as she was driving to an appointment.
She arrived, and the husband could tell from her voice that
she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my
cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!"
The husband replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?"
There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of
the situation sank in - followed by, "You are NOT going to
tell anybody about this!"
-<>-
The topic for my ninth-grade class was palindromes, words or
sentences that are the same read forward and backward. I asked
the question "What is the first thing Adam said to Eve?"
I was expecting the answer "Madam, I'm Adam," but one student
had a better reply:
"Wow."
-<>-
A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark
and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before
her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no
easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt: Prepare your-
self to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death
this year."
Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face,
then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply
had to know.
She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice and
asked, "Will I get away with it?"
-<>-
In one of my classes, they were discussing the qualifications
to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple -
the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35
years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately
started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural
born citizen.
In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented
many capable individuals from becoming president. The class
was just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's
jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by saying,
"What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead
this country than one born by C-section?"
-<>-
[I know this list is supposed to be humorous...but some of
these tips make a lot of sense to me.]
Helpful Tips to Make Life Simple
* Old telephone books make ideal personal address books.
Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't
know.
* Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car
phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your
ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting
the curb.
* Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers
turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked
illegally.
* No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and
remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.
* Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them.
The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom
carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a
contrasting polish should be selected).
* If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply
pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto!
The blockage is almost instantly removed.
* Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The
following morning you can create the effects of hangover by
drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and banging
your head repeatedly on the wall.
-<>-
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his
home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter
asked, "When did you bag him?"
The host said proudly, "That was three years ago, when I went
hunting with my ex-wife."
"What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter.
"My ex-wife." replied the hunter.
=========================================================
>-->From AndyChaps:
>Andy Says... Just Think About This!
_____
/ \
Hmmm... (____/\ )
Just thinking ... |___ U?(____
_\L. | \ ___
/ /"""\ /.-' | |\ |
( / _/u | \___|_)_|
\| \\ / / \_(___ __)
| \\ / / | | |
| ) _/ / ) | |
_\__/.-' /___( | |
_/ __________/ \ | |
// / ( ) | |
( \__|___\ \______ /__|____|
\ (___\ |______)_/
\ |\ \ \ /
\ | \__ ) )___/
\ \ )/ /__(
___ | /_//___| \_________
_/ ( / OUuuu \
`----'(____________)
Michael Reeung
It is not easy to straighten in the oak the crook that
grew in the sapling.
=================
If you love your child, you should discipline your child.
-- Chinese Proverb
=================
Love is not what makes the world go round.
Love is what makes the trip worthwhile.~~~~~Franklin Jones
=================
It doesn't matter where you live … you're going to have to pay it!
You Know what I'm talking about -- UTILITIES!
================
When your wife asks, "Do I look fat?" The correct response is,
"Do I look stupid?"
================
"To attract attractive people, you must be attractive. To
attract powerful people, you must be powerful. To attract
committed people, you must be committed. Instead of going to
work on them, you go to work on yourself. If you become, you
can attract.” Jim Rohn
================
"Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the
natural consequence of consistently applying basic
fundamentals." Jim Rohn
================
A perfect guest is one who makes his host feel at home.
-<>-
>An American In London
Some years ago, an American walking through the streets of
London, was passing by London's tallest building.
As he stood there looking up, a British lad came up beside him.
After a while the American turned to the boy and said, "Do you
realize son, that we have buildings like that in the States,
only they're three times the size!".
"I'm not surprised," said the boy. "That's a lunatic asylum!".
-<>-
>Short Takes!
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before the
criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice.
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after the
criminal gets arrested; we call him a defense lawyer.
======
I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you. If you
upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don't you think
it's worth the extra effort?
======
"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless
of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic
background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL
believe that we are above average drivers."~~~- Dave Barry
======
Someone asked us why our front door entranceway leads right
into our dining room?
I answered, 'So our in-laws don't have to waste any time.'
======
When I told my friend I wanted a Thesaurus for my birthday,
he said, 'Don't be silly, the've been dead for millions of years!'
======
By the way, besides Washington and Lincoln, what other American
presidents happened to have been born on American holidays?
======
More and more vegetarians are quitting because of the side effects.
They found themselves starting to lean toward the sunlight when
seated comfortably indoors.
======
Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers
out, "Okay, everyone in the house, please be advised that I, Little
Johnny, have on this date made a complete fool of myself in sex
education class by repeating stories concerning storks as told to me
by certain parties residing in this house!"
======
"Oh my," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is
almost completely gone!"
Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented,
"I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day
for the last twenty years!"
======
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unknown
>The Meanings of LOVE (n).....GCFL
**Love: man's grand delusion that one woman differs from another
**Love: a sea of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses
**Love: what Plato described as "a grave mental disease"
**something they say is blind; it's marriage which is the
real eye opener
**Love: that emotion which is not true until returned
**that delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl
and discovering that she looks like a haddock [John Barrymore]
**what rich countries have in common with the residents of all
third-world countries
**Love: is like measles; much worse when it comes late in life
**Love: the most slippery word in the human language; used by
knaves to seduce, by fools for comfort, and by most men to placate
the female of the species
**Love: the only fire for which there is no insurance
**Love: an emotion, even if unreturned, that has its rainbow
**Love: the crocodile in the river of desire [Bhartrihari c. 625]
**Love: the only game that two can play and both can win
**Love: the last and most serious of the childhood diseases
**Love: what makes marriage possible
**Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing
of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred
the disorder
**Love: the tie that blinds
**Love: consists of happiness, given back and forth
**Love: the only thing that has changed over the millions of years
of playing this game is that trumps have changed from clubs to
diamonds
**Love: that which makes the world revolve
**Love: a situation which happens when you think almost as much
of another as you do of yourself;
**Love: is a fan club with only two members
**Love: the only virtue that can be divided endlessly and still
not be diminished
**Love: the triumph of imagination over intelligence
**Love: the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion
**Love: a strange feeling that comes over a man; when he keeps
wanting to call a girl by his last name
**Love: is like war; simple to begin but the devil to stop
**Love: is like the action similar to an hourglass: the heart
fills as the brain empties;
**Love: something which combines the two greatest powers on earth;
war and peace
**Love: the balm that heals the wounds that words make.
-<>-
'-.
'-. _____
.-._ | '.
: .. | :
'-._+ | .-'
/ \ .'i--i
/ \ .-'_/____\___
.-' : fsc:
>Seeing God In Commerials
A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to
look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some
way to Communicate ideas about God
Here are some of the results
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/godislike.html
-<>-
>Advice From A Texas Cowboy:
1.Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
2. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
3. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier
'n puttin' it back in.
4. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every
now and then to make sure it's still there.
5. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try
orderin' somebody else's dog around.
6. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
7. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
8. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop
diggin'.
9. Don't squat with your spurs on.
10. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
11. Always drink upstream from the herd.
12. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
13. There are three kinds of people: The ones that learn by
reading, The few who learn by observation, and the rest of
them who have to touch the fire to see for themselves if it's
really hot.
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Texas Rules Of Etiquette
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/texas.html
Real Eagle Story!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagle.html
Beautiful Grand Canyon
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/grandcanyon.html
Statute Of Liberty
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/statueofliberty.html
Maxine On Jesus!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonjesus.html
Wyoming Cowgirl!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/cowgirl.html
Feather Painting 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/feather2.html
Texas Outhouse Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/outhouse.html
Eagle Sculpture Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagleart.html
Chainsaw Wood Carving!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woodcarving.html
Top Ways To Stay Healthy!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stayhealthy.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Melody :)
Arise My Love Newsong Christian Music Video Arise My Love
http://clickecards.com/videos/index.php/worship-songs/2335/arise-my-love/
Remembering Ruth Graham, wife of evangelist Billy Graham
http://heavens-gates.com/ruthgraham/
Roadside America - Guide to Uniquely Odd Tourist Attractions
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/
---
...Good Info! Thanks Melody!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseA :)
She sent us one we have here...
Amazing Trivia Facts
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts.html
---
...These are stunning - especially the Lego one! Thanks LouiseA!
The Copper Clapper Caper skit featuring Jack Webb on "The Tonight Show
Starring Johnny Carson." I love watching Johnny try to keep from
laughing as Jack puts him through this line of questioning to try and
figure out the Copper Clapper Caper. Classic entertainment at it's
finest!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sKGtb1t9iVw
A close encounter of the Brown Bear kind filmed by Drew Hamilton at the
McNeil River State Game Sanctuary in Alaska. The area is known for
having a large brown bear population which is why Drew, a tech worker
at the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, was camping and filming
there. If you decide to venture into the Alaska wilderness be sure you
are prepared for bear encounters and know how to handle them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MVhrN2pI2X8
Husband and wife team Valo and Bobby have the audience on the edge of
their seats with their aerial act at America's Got Talent 2014.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wx2A9URbZoQ
Getting pulled over for a DUI Test is not something any driver wants to
experience but this guy turns his into the best dui stop ever! The
police office shows incredible patience and professionalism as she
conducts the DUI Test on the suspected intoxicated driver. For his part
the driver shows incredible skill in attempting to prove that he hasn't
been drinking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nts1QKJqA3w
The Russian dance troupe "Berezka" seem to actually float over the
floor at 1:30.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pQkmqK5U5Uo
---
...These are super! Thanks LouiseA!
-<>-
>From Our Friend PatDeE :)
He sent us one we have here...
Life Train
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifetrain.html
---
...A Great inspiring one! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
>From our friend Karen :)
THE REST OF THE STORY VIDEOS
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgvK4f_kAjzjReIVOoAgKL0KVnWek4unZ
---
...Sweet! Thanks Karen!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Geniann :)
The Black Hole
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5_Msrdg3Hk
---
...LOL! Serves him right! Thanks Geniann!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"A woman in Florida crashed her car into a Target store. But
in her defense, the store did have a giant target on it."
-Jimmy Fallon
"Health experts have named Mississippi the fattest state in
the Union. The state bird of Mississippi? The fried chicken."
-Jay Leno
"A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the
age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn't
sound too bad to me. You'd probably watch TV with that 22
minutes anyway." -Jimmy Kimmel
"The owner of an ice cream truck named Snow Cone Joe was
arrested for allegedly stalking his rival truck, called Mr.
Ding-a-Ling. It's being called the saddest turf war ever."
-Conan O'Brien
"A new study finally explains what's wrong with young people.
Researchers have proven that young people are greedy and
more materialistic. The study is in something called a news-
paper. It's like a blog. But everything in it is from
yesterday." -Craig Ferguson
"A company in California has started selling a new cologne
that smells like whiskey. I think my dad's been wearing that
cologne for 40 years." -Jimmy Fallon
"A helping word to one in trouble is like a switch in a
railroad track...an inch between wreck and smooth, rolling
prosperity." -Henry Ward Beecher
"All animals, except man, know that the principle business
of life is to enjoy it." -Samuel Butler
"All mankind is divided into three classes: those who are
immovable, those who are movable; and those who move."
-Benjamin Franklin
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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