The Moo Of The Matter ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News: >2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press... This first one is from our friend Sandi. It was way too adorable not to do up! %%%% %%%%-( _%%%%%_/ \ ' / _%%%%%%%% - (_) - _%%%%%%%/ \% / , \ %%%%%%%%%\\ \_ %%%%%% \ \\ ) /\_/ /(___. \ '----' ( / ) ---....____/ (_____ __ _ ___ ___ __ _ _ _____ _ _ ___ / )---...___ =-= = -_= -=_= _-=_-_ -=- =-_ ,' ( ```--.._= -_= -_= _-=- -_= _=- ,-' ) ``--._=-_ =-=_-= _-= _ '-._ '-..___( ``-._=_-=_- =_-= ``---....__) `-._-=_-_=- )|)| `-._=-_ gnv '-'-.\_ `-. When Mister Sandman Attacks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandman.html The second one is from a forward from our friend Viv. It is pretty cool! I couldn't resist adding a video of one of my teen favorite songs to it! .---------------------------. /,--..---..---..---..---..--. `. //___||___||___||___||___||___\_| [j__ ######################## [_| \============================| .==| |"""||"""||"""||"""| |"""|| /======"---""---""---""---"=| =|| |____ []* ____ | ==|| // \\ // \\ |===|| hjw "\__/"---------------"\__/"-+---+ Amazing Bus Stops! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bus.html Wko else but Peter Noone with the Hermits singing Bus Stop! --- ...Thank You Ladies! I hope You All enjoy these As much as I enjoyed programing them! -<>- >-->From Our Friends at Truth Or Tradition: , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' New 10-min YouTube Videos & the Newest Issue of The Sower online http://www.truthortradition.com/emails/new_youtube_sower_email2.html ============================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: A Realistic Look At Job Descriptions An ADULT is a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. _ _/ } CANNIBAL Someone who is fed up with people. `>' \ `| \ CHICKENS are the only animals you eat before | /'-. .-. they are born and after they are dead. \' ';`--' .' \'. `'-./ A COMMITTEE is a body that keeps minutes and '.`"-..-;` wastes hours. `;-..' _| _| DUST is mud with the juice squeezed out. jgs /` /` An EGOTIST is someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. A GOSSIP is a person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. A HANDKERCHIEF is cold storage. `'. .'` \_/ INFLATION is cutting money in half \ .;=;. / without damaging the paper. --.'"-|-"'.-- /`-._|_.-'\ A MYTH is a female moth. / | \ /_/ | \_\ A MOSQUITO is an insect that makes you jgs '----'`^`'----' like flies better. __ __ {_/ RAISINS are grape with a sunburn. \_}\\ _ _\(_)_ A SECRET is something you tell to one person (_)_)(_)_ at a time. (_)(_)_)(_) (_)(_))_) A SKELETON is a bunch of bones with the person (_(_(_) scraped off. (_)_) (_) jgs A TOOTHACHE is the pain that drives you to extraction. TOMORROW is one of the greatest labor saving devices of today. A YAWN is an honest opinion openly expressed. WRINKLES are something other people have. You have character lines. A BANKER is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. An ECONOMIST is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. . \'/ A STATISTICIAN is someone who is good with -=>*<=- numbers but lacks the personality to be an .-"/.\ accountant. / ' _| An ACTUARY is someone who brings a fake bomb _.|_|._ on a plane, because that decreases the chances .' '. that there will be another bomb on the plane. / \ | # | A PROGRAMMER is someone who solves a problem | | you didn't know you had in a way you don't \ / understand. '. .' jgs `'---'` A MATHEMATICIAN is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. A TOPOLOGIST is a man )\-"```-,_ who doesn't know the /. _ `"-._ difference between a _`-c_/_'. `\ , `"-._ coffee cup and a (_.--` '-_;-' \ `"-. doughnut. (_.-----'`-.._ `\._ `\ `\'._ A LAWYER is a person who `'. '._'._ writes a 10,000 word document `'---, `._'-._ and calls it a "brief." jgs `-._/'--' A PSYCHOLOGIST is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A PROFESSOR is one who talks in someone else's sleep. __ _,, /\\\ sSSSs A SCHOOLTEACHER is a disillusioned woman \_ ( s\_SS who used to think she liked children. (\/`"`\.__/`"`\/) \/|_(\/'-')=(\/ A CONSULTANT is someone who takes the watch /,| |__\ /\ off your wrist and tells you the time. //||__ ||\\//` \\'--.) \\`` A DIPLOMAT is someone who can tell you to jgs (/ (/ go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. =================================================================== +---------- Bizarre Origins of Rock Band Names ------------+ The Bay City Rollers: Came up with their name by sticking a pin in a map of the world. It landed on Bay City, Michigan. Buffalo Springfield: Members of the group were stumped for a name. A member of the band was looking out their manager's window at a construction site in Hollywood, when he spotted a steamroller with the brand name "Buffalo Springfield." Iron Maiden: A medieval torture device. Jethro Tull: Named after the 18th century British inventor of the seed drill. Pink Floyd: An amalgam of two American blues artists, Pink Anderson and Floyd Council. Steely Dan: Based on the name of a dildo in William Burrough's novel, The Naked Lunch. Three Dog Night: It is a practice of Australian aborigines to sleep with three dogs on particularly cold nights. UB40: Named after the British unemployment benefit form. The Velvet Underground: Lou Reed lifted the name from a title of a cheap paperback novel. ========================================================= >-->From Our friend PatH :) This is very relaxing, believe it or not! Enjoy!! This is really neat! MOVE THE CURSOR AROUND THE SCREEN. Click on this link...It is a real gas! ,| / ; / \ : ,'( |( `.\ : \ `\ \. \ `. | `. \ `-._ ; \ \ ``-.'.. _ `._ `. `-. ```-...__ .'`. --.. ``-..____ ,'.-'`,_-._ (((( -->From Our Friend Viv :) _ , L\ \/OO\ |/ \ /_\ ` _\ |_ Arjen Pilon >Summer Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Saturday, May 30, 2009 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. Class 1 Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.. Class 2 Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Griping About It for 3 Hours? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. Class 3 Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. Class 5 Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM Class 6 How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM Class 7 Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos? Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. Class 8 Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT! Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 9 I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined. Class 10 How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim. Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours. Class 11 Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined Class 12 How to Shop by Yourself. Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 14 The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined. Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors. Send this to all your guy friends for the best chuckle of their day . . and to all your gal friends who have a sense of humor . . . --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Viv! We had the male one - now it's their Touche' ==================================================================== >-->From Our Friend James :) (`'·.¸(`'·.¸ ¸.·'´) ¸.·'´) «´Humor-Exprezz`» (¸.·'´(¸.·'´ `'·.¸)`' ·.¸) ¸.·´ ( `·.¸ `·.¸ ) ¸.·)´ (.·´ `*. *. IN THE NEWS _____________ Authorities say a Florida man was charged with driving under the influence after he was spotted riding his motorcycle naked. The drunk could not explain where he was coming from or why he was naked. -<>- >Nothing like a good Bible story to make your day _ / } /'.\ _/ ) (`- ( ,) |/ /| ' ` Elb How Adam Got Eve -- Priceless Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?' Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children. And never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.' Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?' 'An arm and a leg.' Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib Of course the rest is history.....!! !! --- ...Hey! What is this? Woman Bashing Week? LOL! Thanks James! -<>- _,---. (/_/)))) \c e_e) . \ = ) _| ,-` -(_ |o| / `-'\\ |#{) /__| ._ _)y / < \ (\_/ `.\ ____\ ,>>> | .==T=T==.__| | | / | |\ |_______| \ / /\ \ / ,' `. \ / / \ \ <\_\_ \ \ `---` (_`-\_ `---' hjw >Observations on Growing Older --- ~It's harder to tell navy from black ~Everything old is new again, but if you wore it before, you're too old to wear it the 2nd time around ~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them ..but your grandchildren are perfect ~Yellow becomes the big color...walls...hair...teeth ~Going out is good. Coming home is better ~When people say you look "Great"...they add "for your age" ~When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything...movies, hotels ...flights. ~You forget names...but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you. `~The last 2 outfits you wore had spots on them. ~You ask your husband or friend how your outfit looks and they tell you the truth ~The five pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds. ~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything...especially golf. ~Your husband is counting on you to remember things you don't remember. ~The things you cared to do, you don't care to do, but you care that you don't care to do them anymore. ~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring then he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep" ~Remember when your mother said "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident ~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married.. Now, "I hope they STAY married" ~The best place to have a conversation with your husband is in the bathroom...you have his full attention. `Who wants to wear 3" heels anyway? `You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch. ~When GOOGLE.ipod.email.modem .were unheard of and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table. ~You use more 4 letter words..."what?"..."when?" ~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. ~Your husband has a night out with the guys but he's home by 9:00 P.M...next week it will be 8:30 P.M. ~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it. ~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"? ~Many of the people in People Magazine you've never heard of. ~Your concealer doesn't conceal. ~Your lipstick bleeds. ~Your mascara clumps and your eyebrows are disappearing. ~You don't have hair under your arms and very little on your legs but your chin needs to be plucked daily ~What used to be freckles are now liver spots. ~Everybody whispers. ~Now that your husband has retired ...you'd give anything if he'd find a job `You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear. ~~~~But old is good in some things:...old songs...old movies And best of all OLD FRIENDS --- ...HaHa! Some Good Ones! Thanks James! ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Sandi :) _"_ % (< ? ` " __||___ |\___//_\ (' | ') \\ __|\ , / |/ /: / \ :: \| ######o /| ######## \) ######## \ : / \: / -- %%% %% % /:\ |/|, b'ger >Don't Judge Too Quickly! Sandi sent us 3 files that we already have in our group files - Look for these... Hospital Concert Brownie Here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList/files/ --- ...Fun Reminders! Thanks Sandi! -<>- |\_ ==== _/| /# \ / #\ .=\ |/""\ /""\ | /=. _//""\_,H =# || #= H,_/""\\_ ./ /#.| .=()=. | #\ \. ./ # =# |\x("(vv)")x/| #= # \. || /==" #_/ \ \/xx\/ / \_ #" ==\ || )) """ /# # #\______/# # #\ """ (( \_\ =/# # # # # # # # # # \= /_/ """" # # # # # # # # # # # #"""" / W 3 W 3 W 3 W 3 W 3 W 3 W\ #W.W.W.3.W.3.W.3.W.3.W.3.W.# # 3.3.3.3.W.3.3.3.W.3.3.3.3# \W3.3.W.3.3.W.W.3.3.W.3.W/ \======================/ |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#| |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#| |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#| |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#| |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#| |#\ #| # ./"\. # |# /#| .#######################. _/*.*.*.*[@@@@@@@@].*.*.*.*\_ / * @@* *[@x ... x @] * *W@ * \ # * W@* *[@...x..x...@] * *@W * # #**@W* * [@xxxx[]xxxx@]* * *W@**# #**W@ * *[@...x..x...@] * * @W**# # * @W * *[@ x....x @] * * W@ * # ## W@ * *[@@@@@@@@] * * @W ## \========================/ )[S@yaN] * [16.08.2002]( | | | | | | | | | | | | ===================== ## NATIONAL EMBLEM OF INDIA ## >FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab,or a motel in the United States. If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with technical advice. --- ...LOL Thanks Sandi - That would explain this... This Is India! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/india.html -<>- ___ ___ _____/___\_____ __|___|__ """"("-_-")"""" ( o_o ) ~ /\_)=o~/ _\~-~/_ _ _~ / /\\\///\ ~ / \/|\/ \/\(|_| \__|\\//\ \ ~ / |. .|\_/ __________|//\\/_/___~______\_\_____|_____ _______ |_|) _______ \_____/ \_____/ jro >The Baptist Cowboy: A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking." "Hasn't affected my brothers though." --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Sandi! Reminds me of perhaps his better half? Wyoming Cowgirl http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/cowgirl.html -<>- >An ET-AHEM!! The 11th Husband.... A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I've never been with a man this way before". "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times..?" "Well, husband # 1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be. "Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me. "Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. "Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. "Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method. "Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. "Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it. "Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it. "Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it. "Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........ Gee I miss him. "But now that I've married you, I'm so excited". "Wonderful", said the husband, "but why? "Because You're with the "GOVERNMENT": So, this time I KNOW I'M gonna get S%$#@!" --- ...Oh, You Are BAD! TeeHee! Thanks Sandi! Somehow this reminds me of Acorn. I don't know why... ============================================================== >-->From BizarreNews: . . \'.____.'/ __'-. .-'__ .--. '_i:'oo':i_'---...____...----i"""-.-'.-"\\ /._ _.\ : / '._ ;/ ;'-._ ( o o ) '-.__.' '. '. '-." '-.__.-' _.--. '-.: : '-' / ; _..--, / ; : '-._.-' ; ; : : : ` .' '-._.' : / \ : / ____....--\ : '._\ :""""" '. !. : : |: : 'www'| \ '| | || | : | | : | || | .' ! | | .' !| | /__I | | /__I.' ! .' ! /__I /__I fsc >The Moo Of The Matter? The phrase "carbon neutral" has gained a lot of credibility in recent years. Being carbon neutral involves calculating your total climate- damaging carbon emissions (your "carbon footprint"), reducing them where possible, and then balancing your remaining emissions, often by purchasing a carbon offset: paying to plant new trees or investing in "green" tech- nologies such as solar and wind power. And I was thinking to myself that in order for me and my family to be carbon neutral I would need to be sitting on literally acres of heavily timbered woods liberally inter- spersed with wind-power generators and solar panels. We're very westernized. And then I read an incredible story about a dairy farm in Bridport, Vermont that turns the tons of cow manure the milkers produce every year into methane-generated electric power! Besides pumping out 8,000 gallons of milk a day, these 2,000 dairy cows also light up 400 homes. The fuel is methane gas that bubbles from manure treated with bovine bacteria in heated underground tanks. If you look hard enough there is a solution to every problem. All I have to do now is convince the family to move to Vermont and take up dairy farming. Bizarrely, Lewis --- .-. ## ) * _.-+*'`*+-._ ,## _ _ #. ;### ((.;;.)) ##: .=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=, >##; *-')_@@_(`-* ;###< ---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l `-""-' ...Unfortunately ---- The cow farm wouldn't work... EPA declares cow flatulence a pollution problem. http://tinyurl.com/c9r7gf Do cows at large dairy farms cause significant air pollution? Pros And Cons: http://milk.procon.org/viewanswers.asp?questionID=976 HowStuffWorks: The Moo Of The Matter... http://animals.howstuffworks.com/mammals/methane-cow.htm ========================================================= >-->In The WordlyNews: >From Fox News: Jay Leno's ACORN / Amy Winehouse jokes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdP_tmjnvmo Obama Ties to ACORN Date Back Nearly 20 Years Pres. Obama took great pains Sunday to act as if he barely knew about Acorn. In fact, his association goes back almost 20 years: http://tinyurl.com/nu5jf3 -<>- >From OneNewsNow: 'Blue Dogs' key in turning back ObamaCare Three Republican lawmakers have warned a gathering of conservative activists in Washington, DC, there will be disastrous fallout if the House healthcare bill is signed into law. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=688050 Perspective: A plea to Obama to attend church Mr. President, one excellent way to demonstrate your Christian commitment -- which some Americans question -- and provide spiritual nurture for yourself and for your family, is to attend church consistently. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=687792 Nurse practitioners to perform abortions? Pro-life laws recently passed in Arizona are being challenged in state and federal courts. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Legal/Default.aspx?id=684764 Feature: The New Abolitionists - sex trafficking worldwide It is widely accepted by all who study human trafficking that there are more slaves today than there were during the three centuries of TransAtlantic slave trade combined. http://www.onenewsnow.com/features.aspx?id=687534 -<>- >From ACLJ: Can there be diplomacy in the Middle East? I invite you to take just a few minutes to view a special video report right now - a brief yet highly effective interview with Danny Ayalon, Deputy Foreign Minister for the State of Israel. Visit Here: http://www.aclj.org/ -<>- Congress is back in session, and there's troubling news to report: Congressional leaders have blatantly rejected our concerns regarding proposed health care reform legislation - the abortion exclusion and the public option amendments were voted down in committee. The only choice now is to kill the bill entirely - all five proposed versions in their current form. Add your name to our online PETITION AGAINST GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE immediately and voice your strong opposition to this legislation! Every concerned member of the ACLJ must speak out NOW: It's time to say NO to the public option or any other government-run health care plan - a dangerous plan that could open the door to make abortion a mandatory ''health benefit.'' In fact, Section 2511 of H.R. 3200 would make Planned Parenthood eligible to operate federal-managed health clinics in every public school in America. This is outrageous! The bottom line? Government-run health care is unacceptable. Take Action! Visit Here: http://www.aclj.org/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: _-_ /~~ ~~\ /~~ ~~\ { } \ _- -_ / ~ \\ // ~ _- - | | _- _ _ - | | -_ // \\ unknown -- Idaho woman impaled by tree limb recovering ------- KAMIAH, Idaho - If you look you can actually find pictures of this bizarre accident online! An Idaho woman who was skewered in the neck by a tree limb while driving with her husband along the Lochsa River is recovering at home. 20- year-old Michelle Childers and her husband, Daniel, were taking a recreational drive on a rural road Sept. 5 when a spruce tree crashed through the passenger side window of the vehicle. Childers says she then felt a "strange" pressure on her neck and shoulder. Her husband told her that the tree limb had impaled her. The couple drove to the Lochsa Lodge near the Idaho-Montana border to call for help and was flown by helicopter to St. Patrick Hospital in Missoula, Mont. Childers says the 13-inch tree limb was removed from her neck during a six-hour surgery. -- 8-foot-1 Turk takes title of world's tallest man ----- LONDON - A towering Turk was officially crowned the world's tallest man after his Ukrainian rival dropped out of the running by refusing to be measured. Guinness World Records said that 8-foot-1 inch Sultan Kosen, from the town of Mardin in eastern Turkey, is now officially the tallest man walking the planet. Although the previous record holder, Ukrainian Leonid Stadnyk, reportedly measured 8 feet 5.5 inches. Stadnyk, 39, told The Associated Press he refused to be independently measured because he was tired of being in the public eye. Kosen, 27, told reporters in London that he was looking forward to parlaying his newfound status into a chance at love. "Up until now it's been really difficult to find a girlfriend," Kosen said through an interpreter. "I've never had one, they were usually scared of me." Kosen is one of only 10 confirmed or reliably reported cases in which humans have grown past the eight foot mark. ,,, _,_ _@_ _(_ _?_ >*< _/. .\_ _/- -\_ _/, ,\_ _/' '\_ _/a a\_ _/. .\_ (.\_o_/.) (.\_-_/.) (,\_e_/') (.\_^_/.) (.\_~_/') (.\_c_/.) (.`,.`'.') (.`,.'.'.) (.`'.,'.') ('.,'.`'.) (.'.,'.`.) (.,'.,'',) ('.`,'`,) ('.`,'',) ('.','.`) ('.,'.',) ('.,'.`.) (',.'`.,) ('.`,'`) ('.','`) (.'.,'.) ('.`.,') ('.','') (.'.'.') jgs `--'"` `--'"` `--'"` `--'"' `--'"' `--'"' -- Resort offers credit for making babies ---------- PALM BEACH, Aruba - A resort in Aruba is offering a $300 "conception credit" to couples who can prove they conceived a child while staying at the hotel. The Westin Resort in Palm Beach, on the northern coastline of the Caribbean island, said it is offering the deal to vacationers who can show a doctor's note confirming the likely conception date was during their stay at the resort, The Daily Telegraph reported Monday. Officials said the deal, which lasts until Dec. 18, amounts to more than one night at the hotel, which costs $200. ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) , , , , A,|,A A,,,A |";"| |";"| T/"\T T/"\T ||#|| ||#|| |'='| t |'='| |.=.| / \ |.=.| |(e)|/,n,\|(o)| =T==='"""""'===T= ||/"\.o.=.o./"\|| |||H||/\T/\||H||| |||H|||TTT|||H||| ||/8\||TTT||/8\|| ... ||/"\|;;:;;|/"\|| ;::::; |||T||;;;;;;.,:;:,.,.,., ;:::;;;||===| /:\ :T:Tn_n_T___n l42;::_||:::||;;;|||;;|;;|;;|;; >A FAREWELL LETTER FROM A GENIUS http://www.emailministry.org/files/aFarewellLetterFromAGenius.pps --- ...This one is absolutely beautiful! I love the photos from around the world! Thank You Jo Ann! -<>- This was sent from Thomas Cook Holidays - listing some of the guests' complaints during the season. /\ /\ '. \ / ,' `.\-/,' ( X ) ,'/ \`.\ .' / \ `, \/-----\/' ______ |_H___|PhS____ >Survey by Thos Cook and ABTA: "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts." "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned." "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all." "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels." A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate". A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff when, in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room. "The beach was too sandy." "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white." A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women." "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake." "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled." "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home." "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller." "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?" "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners." "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning." "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel." "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite." "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked." --- ...LOL! Good ones! Thanks Jo Ann! ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Wesley :) _____.______.______._____ \`\ /'/ \ | | / >|___,____,____,___|< /d$$$P ,ssssssssssss. \ /d$$$P ,d$$$$$$$$$$$$$b \ <=====w======w======w=====> \ \____> \_____/ <____/ / \_____________________/ pb >THE HEARSE SONG~ Don't you ever laugh as the hearse goes by, For you may be the next to die. They wrap you up in a big white sheet From your head down to your feet. They put you in a big black box And cover you up with dirt and rocks. All goes well for about a week, Then your coffin begins to leak. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, The worms play pinochle on your snout. They eat your eyes, they eat your nose, They eat the jelly between your toes. A big green worm with rolling eyes Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes. Your stomach turns a slimey green, And pus pours out like whipping cream. You spread it on a slice of bread, And that's what you eat when you are dead. --- ...Awesome! Great version! Thanks Wesley! The one I always sang was the Worm Song ... Here it is...WORMS: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worms.html ============================================================== >-->From TheMouth: ## _[]_ [____] .----' '----. .===| .==. |===. \ | /####\ | / / | \####/ | \ '===| `""` |===' .===| .==. |===. \ | /::::\ | / / | \::::/ | \ '===| `""` |===' .===| .==. |===. \ | /&&&&\ | / / | \&&&&/ | \ '===| `""` |===' jgs '--.______.--' >REAL LIFE ANSWERS TO A TRAFFIC VIOLATION EXAM Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four- way stop at the same time? A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do." Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your car. Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident? A: Be too drunk to find your keys. Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully. Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? A: The color. Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed? A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute. Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster. Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic? A: Heavy psychedelics. Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can't see my license plate. ========================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) >From Our Friend Wesley :) WorldVillage > Downloads > Audio Files http://tinyurl.com/ll4z2t Bump in the Night! http://tinyurl.com/m8zzuv Free Sound Effects Website http://www.soungle.com/ --- ...Great Links! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn Links: Man Cheats DEA http://www.buffaloschips.com/asgs.htm Missile http://www.buffaloschips.com/gkhjg.htm Peanut Butter Jelly Time http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsdv.htm OK http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsijj.htm Doctor Og http://www.buffaloschips.com/efwlk4.htm Doesn't Matter http://www.buffaloschips.com/l;kjl.htm Dramatic http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdaklfjads.htm Drinking Problem http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfslksjfd.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ========================================================== >-->Quotes: "Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy." - Spike Milligan "The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work." - Richard Bach "Humor is also a way of saying something serious." - T. S. Eliot "Laughter is the closest distance between two people." - Victor Borge "Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd." - Voltaire "The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office." - Robert Frost >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DDARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************