The Pig Farmer, Crabs And More ... :) Shangy!
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================
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"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
__ __
,-' `' \ _---``--
/ _ _ ; __ `.
/ / `' \; /`----- )
/ .-/ ,( ), \-. ;
| \( \ / )/;
| - _5 `7 -;
/ ( ___-' `-____ |
( ___`-_ \ ____|
\ / `,/ \ _(\__ / \
\ ; \ .' /' `i. / |
| \ _-'( _\__-/ `- |
| ` ,` `_ | BP
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~*
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================
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
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================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
.-'''''-.
|'-----'|
/`-.....-`\
| <_} |
| .-\-. |
_,._ | /# ` \ |
__.-` `"""-. | \ / |
..--' `"-. `)_,._ \ '-'-' /
(` )--.-"``` `"-.`'-----'`
'-----------' ( )
jgs `-------------`
I made our family Spanish rice Sunday and decided to add
this recipe to my online recipes so all could enjoy it. I
decided doing this easier way of making Spanish rice with
green peppers when green peppers went from 50 cents on sale
to 99 cents each on sale. By the time I would buy 8 of them
along with their fixings, it was just not a very inexpensive
meal for us. So I reduced the peppers to only 3 and make it
in the skillet primarily instead of the oven. We actually
like it better as we get peppered out the other way.
Check this recipe out here under Meals:
Skillet SPANISH Rice W/Peppers
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easy.html
---
I am still working on reducing the load time for images on
the website. I'm almost done with the year 2013. Still have
a ways to go but making process. :)
-<>-
>3 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
Our first red hot new page is from our friends LouiseAu,
Karen and Richard. This just might amaze you with its
insight into gender differences between men and women.
However, it is sure to give you some smiles and maybe even
some chuckles. Check out this one here...
///"\
|6 6|
\ - /
.@@@. __) (__
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pjb
Geography Of Women Vs Men!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womenvsmen.html
---
...So funny! Thanks my friends!
This next too hot to handle new page is from our friends
Sharon and LouiseAu. This one is full of awws, wows and smiles
as our animal friends continue to enrich our lives with just
being themselves. Check this one out here...
__
.--.;_.'-.
_., \__.' ;@ '.
.'; `. ; __..-"'o
; ;' ; ;_/ ._.-'
'. } : / `. _i/v\.
; i',; ( \_.' .(_)
; ' /{ \/ '. .r_.'
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'._.; _ ; ; ;
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fsc 'wWw' "wWw'
Up Close And Personal 5!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/personal5.html
---
...Love this series! Thanks Ladies!
Our last flaming hot new page is from our friend Bunni. It is
a heartwarming animal one sure to not only delight but amuse
you as well. Be sure to check this one out here...
__ __ ___ ___
' )`\ ' )`\ ' ) `\ ' ) `\
/' |_./< /' |_./< /' |_./< /' |_./<
| /'-.\_| | /'-.\_| | /'-.\_| | /'-.\_|
`\|/~\>> `\|/~\/> `\ |/~\>> `\ |/~\/>
`\_<_ `\_<_ `\\_<_ `\\_<_
__ __ ___ ___
' )`\ ' )`\ ' ) `\ ' ) `\
/' |_./< /' |_./< /' |_./< /' |_./<
| /'-.\`| | /'-.\`| | /'-.\`| | /'-.\`|
`\|/~\>>" `\|/~\/>" `\ |/~\>>" `\ |/~\/>"
`\_<_ `\_<_ `\\_<_ `\\_<_
Identity Theft 6!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft6.html
---
...I get a kick out of this series! So cute and funny! Thanks Bunni!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
__,
.-"`{*}
." ::{*}
/ .:. {*}
|:: ' ::{*}
{^"*"^"*"^"*"^"*"^"*"^"*"^}
|^=.=^=.=^=.=^=.=^=.=^=.=^|
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O__`&`__O : ' :: ' .--. ' |_
/ \^"*"^[A]^"*"^/____\"^,_(')<
jgs ()/^\()=^=[B][C].=^\~~~~/.=\___)
'--'
"I've made up my mind what we'll call the baby if she's a girl,"
young Mrs Edberg announced when she was eight months pregnant for
her first baby. "We'll call her Eucalyptus."
The father did not care for this name but he shrewdly said, "What
a coincidence, the first girl I loved was named Eucalyptus, and it
will bring back pleasant memories."
The wife was silent for a moment. "I think we'll call her
Elizabeth after my mother," she said.
-<>-
When little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to
act tough.
"That's the only way to command respect in the Army," his friends
said.
So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice. He swaggered all
around camp, bragging, blustering and talking out of the corner
of his mouth.
"Show me a sergeant and I'll show you a dope," Reggie shouted.
No sooner had he spoken than a brawny, battle-hardened figure
appeared.
"I am a sergeant!" he bellowed.
"I am a dope," whispered Reggie.
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
March 6 is Dentist's Day and National Frozen Food Day
March 7 is National Crown Roast of Pork Day
March 8 is Be Nasty Day and International (Working) Women's Day
March 9 is Panic Day and Popcorn Lover's Day
March 10 is Middle Name Pride Day
March 11 is Johnny Appleseed Day and Worship of Tools Day
March 12 is Girl Scouts Day and Plant a Flower Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
_______
/______/"=,
[ | "=, "=,,
[-----+----"=,* )
(_---_____---_)/
(O) (O)
Emiliano
>Driving Question
One evening I was driving my six-year-old daughter to her
grandparents' home for an overnight stay. It was late, there
was little traffic and we were enjoying a peaceful ride. It was
a far cry from the usual chaos surrounding us when I drive her
to various activities during rush hour.
My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said, "I have a
question."
"What do you want to know?"
"Mom, when you're driving," she asked, "are you ever the
idiot?"
-<>-
>50 Years
On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly
couple in front of me. Learning that it was the couple's 50th
wedding anniversary, the flight attendant congratulated them and
asked how they had done it.
"It all felt like five minutes..." the gentleman said slowly.
The stewardess had just begun to remark on what a sweet statement
that was when he finished his sentence with a word that earned
him a sharp smack on the head:
"...underwater."
-<>-
>Well Planned?
A guy planned a heist down to the last detail. The plan was to
hold up an armored car as it made its pickup at a bowling alley.
When the car arrived, he rushed up to the driver, flashed a gun
and screamed, "Give it up!" The startled driver looked around
inside the vehicle and finally handed the stupid criminal a
large sack.
Unfortunately, instead of holding up an armored car he had
robbed a laundry truck. The sack contained a bunch of dirty mop
heads.
Proof that criminals are not rocket scientists.
-<>-
>Banana
My four-year-old grandson wanted a banana. I gave him half, to
make sure he would eat it, and when he finished it, I asked him
if he wanted the other half.
"No thanks," he replied. "I'll wait for them to turn green."
I explained to him that they start out green and then get brown
spots as they ripen.
Sighing, he put his face in his hands and said. "Then I'll wait
until they turn into banana bread."
-<>-
>40th Birthday
On her 40th birthday a wife waltzed out of the bedroom dressed
in an old outfit that she dug out of the back of the closet.
"I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my wardrobe
is ten years old," she said to her husband, hoping he'd take the
hint and buy her some new clothes as a present.
"Or," he offered instead, "it means when you were 30 you had the
body of a 40-year-old."
(He is expected to be discharged from the hospital next week but
he will always walk with a limp).
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
.======================================.
| ___ ___ ___ _ _ _ |
| \_/ \_/ \_/ C|||C|||C||| |-| |-| |-| |
| _|_ _|_ _|_ ||| ||| ||| |_| |_| |_| |
'===================================== ,sSSSs
DUFFY'S WATERING HOLE SSSS "(
.:. SSS@ =/ \~/
C|||' SSSS_(_ _Y_
___|||______________________________SS/ _)_) /.-
[____________________________________] \ /\//
| ____ ____ ____ ____ | \|==(\_/
| (____) (____) (____) (____) | (/ ;
| | | | | | | | | | |____|
| | | | | | | | | | \ |\
| | | | | | | | | | ) ) )
| |____| |____| |____| |____| | ( |/
| I====I I====I I====I I====I | /\ |
jgs | | | | | | | | | /.(=\
Y\_\
>SMILES
There was a man who wanted to build a bar in the town. A church
congregation that was next door strongly opposed it, but
construction of the bar went on. Just before it was finished,
however, lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.
The church congregation gloated and credited the Lord. The bar
owner sued the church, claiming that the congregation's prayers
had cost him his building, but the church leaders denied having
anything to do with it. The case went to court and the local
judge was said not to know how to rule on the matter. He said he
had a bar owner who believed in the power of prayer and a church
congregation that didn't!
--------
At a children's hospital, a little boy about three years old was
brought into the emergency room. He had filled both ears with
tiny pebbles.
After working over an hour to remove the stones, the doctor asked,
"Son, why would you stuff so many pebbles in your ears?"
"Because," he replied matter-of-factly, "they kept falling out of
my nose.
--------
After his wife divorced him, Joe asked his best friend Bill, an
artist, to fix him up with a blind date. Bill obliged.
The next day Joe called up Bill and shouted at him angrily: "Bill,
what kind of a guy do you think I am? That girl you fixed me up
with was cross-eyed; she was almost bald; her nose was long, thin
and crooked; she had hair growing on her face; she was flat
chested; and her ankles were as thick as her thighs".
Bill answered: "Either you like Picasso, or you don't like
Picasso."
--------
A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to
go out for coffee.
Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large
thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.
She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came
over to take her order.
She asked, "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?"
The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few
seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six
cups to me."
"Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief. "Then give me two regular,
two black, and two decaf."
--------
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and
has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't
lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is also very important that these four men don't know
each other.
-------
With their ailing mother needing constant medical supervision,
a family decided to bring her to a very expensive and caring
nursing home for a day to try it out.
The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast,
and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower
garden. She seemed okay but after a while she slowly started to
lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and
straighten her out. Again, she seemed okay but after a while she
started to tilt to the other side. The nurses rushed back and once
more brought her back upright.
This went on all morning, with the dedicated nurses making sure
the old woman didn't fall. Later, the family arrived to see how
she was adjusting to her new home.
"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they
asked.
"It’s very nice," she replied. "Except they won’t let you fart."
---
...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friends Karen And LouiseAu :)
Be Careful Out There!
This is a true story. I read in a magazine found at the check out
counter at Metro!
You gotta love this women.
.'"'. ___,,,___ .'``.
: (\ `."'"``` ```"'"-' /) ;
: \ `./ .'
`. :.'
/ _ _ \
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| / \ |
| / \ |
| / \ |
\ | .-. | /
`. | . . / \ . . | .'
jgs `-._\.'.( ).'./_.-'
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`. --'-- .'
`-...-'
Unclassified: Woman Stops Grizzly Attack With a .25 Cal Pistol
I know many people think there are too many guns, but read this
and you may change your mind!
True story...
This is a story of self control and marksmanship with an
itsy-bitsy shooter by a woman against a fierce predator. What
is the smallest caliber you trust to protect yourself?
__,____
hjw / __.==-"
/#(-'
`-'
The Beretta Jetfire is a very small hand gun. Here is this
amazing woman's story:
"While out hiking in Alberta Canada with my boyfriend we were
surprised by a huge grizzly bear charging at us from out of
nowhere. She must have been protecting her cubs because she was
extremely aggressive.
If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire with me I would not
be here today!
Just one shot to my boyfriend's knee cap was all it took; the
bear got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking
away at a brisk pace."
---
...LOL! Funny! Thanks Ladies!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
MARK LEVIN: Devasting Case Against Obama for Knowing and
Abetting SPYING on Trump’s Campaign – Gingrich Agrees [VIDEO]
http://tinyurl.com/hwjd2xs
So… Hillary Knew About The Trump Wiretap – Tweeted About it
One Week Prior to Election
http://tinyurl.com/zyeo9qj
Obamagate Is Going to Blow Wide-Open This Week According to
Former Secret Service Agent
http://tinyurl.com/j5vjd3l
OBAMAGATE: Obama Has A History Of Wiretapping Friends and Rivals
http://tinyurl.com/zb3gxvx
NO COPS ?!? March 4 Trump Ralliers VIOLENTLY BEATEN, Pepper-
Sprayed at Berkeley [VIDEO]
http://tinyurl.com/jslk9sz
BREAKING: Home Depot Makes HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT In Trump’s New America!
http://tinyurl.com/ho4p9ze
From Return To Order:
Can my lady readers join us on Lady Day? It is a positive response
to the radical feminists who are calling for all women to go on a
general strike on March 8th. Instead of striking, pro-life
Christian ladies will celebrate God's plan for women as pure and
good. In fact, the motto for this special day is "Pure Goodness
at Work!" Find out how to participate by reading here:
Lady Day, March 8th -- "Pure Goodness at Work!"
http://tinyurl.com/gotknta
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
A self-righteous woman slammed into a chicken truck twice
because she does not like the fact that people are eating
living things.
26-year-old Judith Moriah Armstrong of Georgia, was arrested
after she crashed into the truck that was carrying live
chickens before fleeing the scene.
The unidentified truck driver was traveling west on Highway
72, when a four-door red car hit his truck twice.
The truck driver called the police when the car fled. Madison
County deputies found the vehicle's license plate in the
debris the was left after the crash. That is how they were
able to trace the owner of the car, who matched the
description given to them by the truck driver.
During the interrogation, Armstrong admitted to being
involved in an accident and said that she fled for fear of
losing her license.
She also told the officers that she hit the truck because
she is a vegan.
Police said that Armstrong appeared to be drunk. She denied
having alcohol before the crash. She claimed that she "took
a couple of shots" when she got home.
She was tested for alcohol and blew a .089, which is above
the legal limit.
Armstrong now faces charges of hit-and-run, aggressive
driving, driving under the influence, and obstruction.
*----------------- Killer Porn -----------------*
A lonely Japanese man who amassed more than six tons of porn
died when a huge pile of magazines fell on top of him. And
even more tragically, the man's body was only discovered six
months later when the landlord entered the flat to find out
why the rent had not been paid. The man's lowly death was
revealed by a member of the cleaning team, who said his
company had been hired to remove the magazines discreetly in
a way that would not be noticed by neighbours and the man's
family to save them from the shame. It was unclear if he had
suffered a heart attack and fallen into the stacks of
magazines which had then fallen on top of him, or whether he
had been crushed by the mass of paper. Every space in the
flat was filled with piles of magazines, which also stacked
on tables and on shelves. At the time of his death the
collection weighed in at six metric tons (13,228 pounds).
*------------- Tidal Wave of Beer -------------*
A Nevada Highway Patrol dashboard camera was recording when
a trooper was drenched by a load of beer that fell from a
truck. The highway patrol said Trooper Travis Smaka had
pulled a driver over for speeding. "You guys have anything
to drink tonight?" Trooper Travis Smaka asks the vehicle's
occupants in the dashboard camera footage. The driver says
he has not been drinking, and moments later the sound of a
truck losing its load of beer can be heard. The video shows
a wave of beer from shattered bottles go straight toward the
trooper. "Well, over 1,000 pounds of beer shattering and a
tidal wave of beer coming at me," Smaka said. Troopers said
the semi is believed to have lost its load due to slamming
on its brakes when cut off by another vehicle. A similar
crash on a Florida highway last year didn't drench any
troopers, but it did take the highway happy hour to the next
logical level by also involving a truckload of potato chips
that ended up in the roadway along with the load of Busch
beer.
*-- The Exotic Mississippi Tree-Climbing Dogs --*
Ok, if there is one thing dogs to NOT do, it is climb trees.
That is why it seems odd that this Mississippi man would
climb a tree to look for his lost dog. Odder still is the
fact that he did it naked, but then again who knows what is
normal in Mississippi. The Union County Sheriff's Office
said that Shane Treadaway was looking for his lost dog when
he climbed on top of a tree. At some point, Treadaway fell
and ended up hanging upside down from the tree. Police do
not know how Treadaway lost all his clothes. After four
hours of hanging from the tree, Treadaway's girlfriend began
looking for her lost boyfriend. She was shocked to find him
hanging upside down from the tree. Treadaway was taken to
the Tupelo hospital. Police are still investigating the
incident.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we
falter and lose our freedom, it will be because we destroyed
ourselves." -Abraham Lincoln
_______________________/%%*%%*%%*%%*%%*%\______________________
//~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| N\ N ___ I ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\
I: ///\ /\\\ | N \ N (__ I O f f i c i a l :I
I: //// - \\\\ | N \N ___) L___ Net Surfer's License :I
I: :/(o)-(o)\: | <-><-><-><-><-> EXP 12/95 <-><-><-><-><->:I
I: (: U :) | :I
I: | ___, | |Name : DJ Flip :I
I: \_____/ |Age : 6.804E8 seconds :I
I: .i i. |Hair : Dark Brown, Black :I
I: ,--"" \ / ""--.|Eyes : Dark Brown :I
I:/: \___/ :`|Email: bb31865@bingsuns.cc.binghamton.edu :I
\\____________________|_________________________________________//
\%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%/
Illegal Immigration and ID laws explained...
Arizona Governor vs. Phoenix Suns owner
The owner of the Phoenix Suns basketball team, Robert Sarver,
opposed AZ's immigration laws enforced by Arizona's Governor,
Jan Brewer. She released the following statement in response
to Sarver's criticism of the new ID law:
"What if the owners of the Suns discovered that hordes of
people were sneaking into games without paying? What if they
had a good idea who the gate-crashers are, but the ushers and
security personnel were not allowed to ask these folks to
produce their ticket stubs, thus nonpaying attendees couldn't
be ejected. Furthermore, what if Suns' ownership was expected
to provide those who sneaked in with complimentary eats and
drink? And what if, on those days when a gatecrasher became ill
or injured, the Suns had to provide free medical care and
shelter?"
- Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer
Try going to any other country without ID.
-<>-
>Such A mess
I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'putering',
And I had to answer "yes."
He told me to get off my fanny
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.
I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my work...
I didn't mean to 'click.'
But click, I did, and oops I found
A real absorbing site
That I got SO way into...
I was into it all night...Sigh...
Nothing's changed except my mouse
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess...
While I sit here on my hiney.
-<>-
___ ___
.i .-' `-. i.
.' `/ \' _`.
|,-../ o o \.' `|
(| | / _\ /_ \ | |)
\\\ (_.'.'"`.`._) ///
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|| || || ||
\) || || (/
\) (/ hjw
A man boarded a plane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs
and asked the blonde, female crew member to take care of the box
for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's
refrigerator.
He pointedly informed her that he was going to hold her personally
responsible for the crabs staying frozen, pointing out over and
over he was an attorney and proceeded to rant at her about what
would happen to her if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say, she was greatly annoyed by his continuous
behavior.
Shortly before landing in Los Angeles, the blonde crew member
used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the
gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise
your hand so I can return them to you?"
Not a single hand went up ... So she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Men never learn.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most men think.
-<>-
Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop. "I operated
on Mr. Lee the other day," said the surgeon.
"What for?" asked his colleague.
"About $17,000."
"What did he have?"
"Oh... About $17,000."
-<>-
______
_\ _~-\___
= = ==(____AA____D
\_____\___________________,-~~~~~~~`-.._
/ o O o o o o O O o o o o o o O o |\_
`~-.__ ___..----.. )
`---~~\___________/------------`````
= ===(_________D
-Roland
A Travel Agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and
an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing
the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had a good
week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare
feeling of generosity.
He called them into his shop, 'I know that on your pension you
could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a
fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer.'
He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight
tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. Then, as can be
expected, they gladly accepted, and were off!
About a month later the little old lady came in to his shop.
'And how did you like your holiday?' he asked eagerly.
'The flight was exciting and the room was lovely,' she said.
'I've come to thank you, but one thing puzzled me. Who was that
old bugger I had to share the room with?
ACTUALLY, SOME OF US ASK THE SAME QUESTION EVERY MORNING!
---
...LOL! Thanks Geniann!
===============================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
_
|\_,,____
( o__o \/
/(..) \
(_ )--( _)
/ ""--"" \
,===,=| |-,,,,-| |==,== The Pig Farmer
|d | WW | WW |
|s | | | | |
There was a farmer who had many pigs. One day someone came
to the farm and asked the farmer, "What do you use to feed
your pigs?"
"Well, I give them acorn, corn, vegetable scraps and things
like that. Why?"
"Because I am from the Animals Protection Association and I
think you don't feed them like you should, they shouldn't
eat wastes." Then he fined the farmer.
Some days later, another person arrived and asked the same
question. The farmer answered, "Well, I feed them very well.
I give them fish, whole grains, hot corn mash and as much
fresh fruit and vegetables as I can get my hands on. Why?"
"Because I am from the United Nations Organization and I
think it's unfair that you feed your pigs like that when
there are people dying with nothing to eat." And he fined
the farmer.
Finally, another man came in and asked the same question.
_,--. ,--._
\ > `-"""-' < /
`-. .-'
/ 'e___e` \
( (o o) )
_\_ `=' _/_
/ /|`-._.-'|\ \
/ /||_______||\ \
_/ /_||=======||_\ \_
/ _/==|| ||==\_ \
`'( ^^ ^^ )`'
\ /
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)__| |__(
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`--' `--'
The hesitant farmer answered after a minute of careful
thought: "Well, I give five dollars to each pig so they can
buy whatever it is they want."
-<>-
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel
ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in
the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. The people
who produce the bottles. The truck drivers who deliver the
beer and the retailers who sell it.
If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and
their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer
and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry
about my liver."
-<>-
Pauly walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for
everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well, Pauly, seems
you're in a really good mood tonight, eh?"
Pauly says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the
city to go around and remove all the money from parking
meters. I start on Monday!"
The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour
the round.
Monday evening arrives. Pauly comes back into the bar and
says, "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"
The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over
having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be
when you get your paycheck!"
Pauly looks at the bartender with a confused look on his
face, pulls out quite a handful of quarters from his pocket,
and says "You mean they'll PAY me on top of it?"
-<>-
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his
father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies
became adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same
question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved
to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!
Mommy said we came from monkeys."
His father replied, "No, your mother was talking about her
side of the family."
-<>-
__
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TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 50's, 60's and 70's!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or
drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a
can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with
bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or
cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets,
not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or
air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a
special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle
and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda
pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE
WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as
long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot
the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we
learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video
games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies,
no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers,
no Internet or Internet chat rooms...WE HAD FRIENDS and we
went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and
there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did
not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games
with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it
would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on
the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to
them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was
unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers,
problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have
been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we
learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL.
And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!
-<>-
A wife asked her husband, "Honey, could you please run to
the store and get a carton of milk, and if they have eggs,
get a dozen."
A while later the husband returned with a case of quart milk
cartons.
Staring incredulously at the 12-pack case of milk, his wife
asked, "Why the hell did you buy so much milk?"
Her husband said, "They had eggs."
=========================================================
>-->From AndyChaps:
>Andy Says... Just Think About This!
,-. Life keeps rolling along......
( O )` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ -
|`-'| : : : : : : : :
| | : : : : : : : :
`-'` ~ - . _'. - ~ ` ~ - .'_ . - ~ ` ~ -
cww
Things I've Learned
** I've learned: that life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
** I've learned: that the best classroom in the world is at
the feet of an elderly person.
** I've learned:..that when you're in love, it shows.
** I've learned... that just one person saying to me, "You've
made my day!" makes my day.
** I've learned...that having a child fall asleep in your arms
is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
** I've learned..that being kind is more important than being
right.
** I've learned...that you should never say no to a gift from
a child.
** I've learned...that I can always pray for someone when I
don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
** I've learned... that no matter how serious your life requires
you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
** I've learned...that sometimes all a person needs is a hand
to hold and a heart to understand.
** I've learned...that simple walks with my father around the
block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for
me as an adult.
** I've learned...that we should be glad God doesn't give us
everything we ask for.
** I've learned... that money doesn't buy class.
** I've learned... that it's those small daily happenings that
make life so spectacular.
** I've learned... that under everyone's hard shell is someone
who wants to be appreciated and loved.
** I've learned... that even the Lord didn't do it all in one
day. What makes me think I can?
** I've learned... that to ignore the facts does not change
the facts.
** I've learned... that love, not time, heals all wounds.
** I've learned... that the easiest way for me to grow as a
person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
** I've learned...that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted
with a smile.
** I've learned...that opportunities are never lost; someone
will take the ones you miss.
** I've learned... that when you harbor bitterness, happiness
will dock elsewhere.
** I've learned... that I wish I could have told my Dad that
I love him one more time before he passed away.
** I've learned... that one should keep his words both soft
and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
** I've learned... that a smile is an inexpensive way to
improve your looks.
** I've learned...that I can't choose how I feel, but I can
choose what I do about it.
** I've learned... that when your newly born child holds
your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for
life.
** I've learned... that everyone wants to live on top of the
mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while
you're climbing it.
** I've learned...that the less time I have to work with,
the more things I get done.
-<>-
__ _-==-=_,-.
/--`' \_@-@.--<
`--'\ \ <___/. The wonderful thing about Tiggers,
\ \\ " / is Tiggers are wonderful things.
>=\\_/`< Their tops are made out of rubber,
____ /= | \_/ their bottoms are made out of springs.
_' `\ _/=== \__/ They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
`___/ //\./=/~\====\ Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.
\ // / | ===: But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is,
| ._/_,__|_ ==: __ I'm the only one.
\/ \\ \\`--| / \\
| _ \\: /==:-\
`.__' `-____/ |--|==:
\ \ ===\ :==:`-'
_> \ ===\ /==/
/==\ | ===\__/--/
<=== \ / ====\ \\/
_`-- \/ === \/--'
| \ ==== |
-`------/`--' /
\___-'
unknown
>Reflections on aging...........
**Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
**Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
**Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
**You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes
and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
**You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
**One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make
a person gain five pounds.
**Every time I think about exercise, I lie down 'till the thought
goes away.
**God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things.
Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.
**I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
**Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
**Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
**Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while,
and it shrinks two sizes.
**Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but
they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
-<>-
_"_ %
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__||___
|\___//_\
(' | ') \\
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/: / \ ::
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|/|, b'ger
>Great Reasons For Being A Blonde
**Free dinners.
**You can cry without pretending there's something in your contact.
**Speeding ticket? What's that?
**If you're a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth
as a human being.
**A new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
**If you're not making enough money, you can blame the glass
ceiling.
**If you're not very attractive, you can fool 'em with makeup.
**If you use self-tanner, it doesn't necessarily mean you're a
big loser.
**You could possibly live your whole life without ever taking
a group shower.
**You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair
clippers.
**When you take off your shoes, nobody passes out.
**If the person you're dating is much better at something than
you are, you don't have to break up with him.
**If you think the person your dating really likes you, you
don't have to break up with him
**If you don't shave, no one will know.
**If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.
**You can dress yourself.
**Your hair is yours to keep.
**If you ARE bald, people will think you did it on purpose, and
you're really chic.
**You don't have to pretend to like cigars.
**You'll never have to blow 2 months salary on anything.
**If you marry someone 20 years younger, you know you look like
an idiot.
**You're rarely compelled to scream at the TV.
**If you pick up the check once in a while, that's plenty.
**Sitting and watching people is all the entertainment you need.
**Your friend won't think you're weird when you ask if there's
spinach in your teeth.
**When you get a million catalogues in the mail, it's a good
thing.
**Sometimes, chocolate truly can solve all your problems.
**If you're under 6', you don't have to lie about it.
**You'll never regret piercing your ears.
**You can fully assess someone just by looking at his or her
shoes.
**You can tell which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
**If you have big ears, no one has to know.
**You can be attracted to someone just because they're really
funny.
-<>-
~~
::::::::: o _||
:::::::::---------[|<[___]
:::::::::| | | | (_) o
>You Know You're From Wisconsin When:
**You can name everyone you graduated with.
**You know what all each H in 4-H stands for.
**You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle
of a dirt road.
**You used to drag "main."
**You schedule parties around the schedule of different police
officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which
ones wouldn't- same goes with the game warden.
**You ever went cow-tipping or snipe hunting.
**School gets cancelled for state events.
**It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
**You had senior skip day.
**The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
**You don't give directions by street names or directions by
references (turn by Nelson's house, go two blocks east Anderson's,
and it's four houses left of the track field).
**The golf course had only 9 holes.
**You can't help but date a friend's ex-girlfriend.
**Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will
never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
**You think kids that ride skateboards are weird.
**The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snooty",
but is actually just like your town.
**Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise.
**You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the
"rich people."
**The people in the city dress funny, then you pick-up on the
trend two years later.
**You bragged to your friends because you got pipes on your truck
for your birthday.
**Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the
feed store.
**You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through
town.
**Football coaches suggest that you haul hay for the summer to
get stronger.
**Directions are given using "the" stop light as a reference.
**The city council meets at the coffee shop.
**Your letter jacket was worn after your 19th birthday.
**You have ever taken a trailer or dog to school on a daily basis.
**Weekend excitement involves a trip to a Wal-Mart.
**Even the ugly people enter beauty pageants.
**You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over
and ask if you need a ride.
**Your teachers calls you by your older siblings names.
**Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
**You can charge at all the local stores.
**The closest McDonald's is 45 miles away.
**So is the closest mall.
.---.
(_>O<_)
.-----. `---'
_\`.____\_ \\
| `.______) \\
|\_ | \ \\
' \ \ `.____\ \.==_.-..
() ) ) `.________\_\ _.'|))
\_/_/ `-----.___.-..-' _.''
`--'-.____.( o ))-' VK
`-''
**It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a
riding lawn mower.
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Origami Animal Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origamiart.html
Mystery Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mart.html
Tinian Island!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tinian.html
Tears Of A Woman!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womantears.html
Animal Friends 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends3.html
Lily And Madison!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greatdanes.html
Best Buddies!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestbuds.html
Giraffe Manor!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/giraffemanor.html
Cats Of The Zodiac!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/zodiaccats.html
Incredible Wildlife Photos!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildlife.html
Dog Day Afternoon!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogday.html
Dogs And Little Ones!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogslittleones.html
Margarete The Giraffe!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/giraffe.html
Ocean Exploration!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ocean.html
Mountain Biking!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mountainbiking.html
Rolling On The River!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/river.html
Walmart Parking!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/walmartparking.html
Eye Catching Humor!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eyecatching.html
Life's Little Oops 5!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops5.html
Magical Little Snails!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snails.html
-<>-
>Please Visit This Link to Get New Traffic For Shangrala :)
Fun Pages
http://www.funpageexchange.com/go.php?uid=3559
-<>-
>Please Follow Me On StumbleUpon:
http://tinyurl.com/zrpcqcv
-<>-
>From Our Friend Geniann :)
HEAD-ON CRASH OF 1959 CHEVY WITH 2009 CHEVY
A 2009 car vs. a 1959 car in a crash test. Guess which one wins.
NO SOUND, but the video is enough. How many times have you heard:
"I wish they would make cars the way they did in the old days."
You know how we always think about what big huge tanks the old
cars of the 50's and 60's were for size? And how we talk about
how there is so much plastic on the new cars that if one of the
old tanks ever collided with a new car, the new car would be
demolished? Well, someone in the insurance industry put that
theory to the test. Be sure to watch to the end to see the
overhead view - and the assessment of driver injury. Fasten
your seat belts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72iFMMjgFIc
---
...Shocking! Thanks Geniann!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda :)
She sent us ones we have here...
Did You See That?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seethat.html
Pencil Head Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pencilart.html
---
...Amazing! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Melody :)
The Smart or Stoopid Quiz, by flashbynight.com, a simple and fun IQ
http://www.flashbynight.com/test/
Daily Jigsaw Puzzle 2016-07-21-3125056A92F6 Portofino, Italy
http://www.jigzone.com/puzzles/2016-07-21-3125056A92F6
Seven-Year-Old Answers the Door Holding Newborn, But Mom
http://tinyurl.com/z2vzssz
---
...Sweet! Thanks Melody!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
The Disappearing Magician is performing in front of a store and
much to the surprise of the participants he’s disappearing with
their purses. He has a little help from a couple stage hands who
help him escape from the impromptu stage and leave the people
frustrated and bewildered.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4nigdAbwlo&feature=player_embedded
A funny promo video for the comedy magic act of Scott and Muriel.
This talented couple was the first comedy duo to win the FISM
Grand Prix which is the highest magic award there is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=y5zC2JZ-Js8
---
...HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Chocolate maker Hershey is reportedly expecting to cut its
global workforce by about 15 percent. That's right, for the
first time ever, chocolate is giving up people for Lent."
-Seth Meyers
"Scientists have found a way to grow human tissue on apples.
Now the only thing left for them to discover is a REASON to
grow human tissue on apples." -Conan O-Brien
"Papa John's is testing a new system that lets customers pay
$3 to skip the line and get faster pizza delivery. And for
$6, Peyton Manning will throw the pizza at you from a speeding
car." -Jimmy Fallon
"Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will
prevent you from getting drunk off of alcohol. It's perfect
for the drinker who wants all the calories of alcohol but
none of the fun." -Conan O'Brien
"A new study found that women think men holding a guitar
are more attractive, even if they are not playing it. In
a related story, guys with an accordion will die alone."
-Jimmy Fallon
"YouTube temporarily pulled a New York zoo's live stream of
a giraffe giving birth. A zoo spokesman said that their
YouTube cam had been reported as containing nude content.
All animals are nude! Every one of them is nude except for
your neighbor's dog who has to wear those stupid dog outfits
that he clearly hates." -James Corden
"Nintendo is releasing a video game that lets you simulate
taking care of a baby. When they heard this, gamers said,
'Hey, call me when you have one that simulates MAKING one.'"
-Conan O'Brien
"Today was International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day.
There's a party later tonight, but I heard it's going to be
a real snausage fest." -Seth Meyers
"A new study found that most people cant go 10 minutes
without lying. But since the study took 20 minutes nobody
knows what to believe." -Jimmy Fallon
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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