The Tooth Fairy Wedding... :) Shangy >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This hot tottie is from our friend Linda. It is a very beautiful one with an inspiring message just for you! Be sure to turn on your sound and give it a view here... .-=-. / ! )\ __ \__/__/ / _<( ^.^ ) / / \ c /O \ \_.-./=\.-._ _ `-._ `~` `-,./_< `\' \'\`'----' * \ . \ * `-~~~\ . . `-._`-._ * * `~~~-, * () * ) <^^> * ( . .-""-. ) .---. ."-....-"-._ _...---''`/. ' ( (`\ \ .' ``-'' _.-"'` \ \ \ : :. .-' `\`.\: `:. _.' ( .'`.` _.' `` `-..______.-' ):. ( ."-....-". jgs .':. `. "-..______..-" The Wishing Lamp http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wishinglamp.html --- ...Awww, totally floored me! Thanks Linda! This hot new page is from our friends Jo Ann, Karen and Geniann. Not only does it have fabulous photos but it has a couple great inspiring videos that you won't want to miss. Check it out here... \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ Mike Hertz The Blues Angels! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/blueangels.html --- ...Absolutely amazing! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ,'\ |\ / /.: ;; / :'|| // (| | ||;' / ||,;'-.._ : ,;,`';:.--` |:|'`-(\\ ::: \-'\`' \\\ \,-`. `'\ `.,-`-._ ,-._ ,-. \ `.,-' `-. / ,..`. / ,.`. `. \ _.-' \',: ``\ \ / / :..`-'''``-) `. _.:'' ''\ \ : : '' `-..''`/ |-'' |'' '' \ \ | | '' '' : |__..-;'' '' : : | | '' '' | ; / '' '' | | | | '' '' ; /--../_ ''_ '' _| | | | '' _;:_/ :._ /-.'',-.'',-. | : : '',;'`;/ |_ ,( `' `' \| \ \ \( /\ :,' \ \ \.'/ : / ,) / \ ': ': / \ : `.\ : :\ \ | \ | `. \ |..-_ SSt ) |. `/___-.-` ,' -.'. `. `' _,) \'\(`.\ `._ `-..___..-',' `' ``-..___..-' A Husband took the wife to a disco on the weekend. There was an extremely well dressed, physically fit, good looking guy on the dance floor. He was waltzing, fox-trotting, calipsoing, break dancing, moon walking, doing back flips, smiling and having a great time. The wife turned to her husband, who isn't much of a dancer, and said: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!" -<>- The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three." "Four," answers the boy. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," says the little boy. -<>- One day, finding a wasp had entered the house, a wife shouted to her husband, "There's a wasp in here. Do we have any spray?" He told her there was a can under the sink. "Honey," she called. "This is ant and roach spray." "Well," her husband replied, "don't show him the label." -<>- By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. "Why are you so late?" his friend asked. "I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game." "How long could that have taken you?" "Well, I had to toss it 14 times." -<>- Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: "Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet." -<>- A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said "Chopsticks are provided only on request." "But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the forks." "True," the waiter shot back, "but we'd have to hire three more people to sweep the floor." -<>- A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature! "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says "Wait just a moment", and goes back into the storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know math always was a little hard to swallow." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ November 9 is Chaos Never Dies Day November 10 is Forget-Me-Not, USMC and Young Readers Day November 11 is Veteran's Day November 12 is Chicken Soup for the Soul Day November 13 is Sadie Hawkins Day and World Kindness Day November 14 is Operating Room Nurse Day and World Diabetes Day November 15 Clean Your Refrigerator Day and America Recycles Day ========================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ___________ /.---------.\`-._ // || `-._ || `-._ || `-._ || `-._ || `-._ || _____ ||`-._ \ _..._ || | __ ! || `-._ | _/ \|| .' |~~|| `-._ | .-`` _.`|| / _|~~|| .----. `-._| | _.` _|| | |23| || / :::: \ \ \ _.--` _.` || | |56| || / ::::: | | | _.-` _.|| | |79| || | _..-' / _\-` _.`O || | |_ || |::| | .` _.`O `._|| \ | || |::| | .-` _.` `._.' || '.__|--|| |::| \ `-._.-` \`-._ || | ": !|| | '-.._ | \ `--._|| |_:"___|| | ::::: | | \ /\ || ":":"|| \ :::: | | \( `-.|| .- || `.___/ / | | || _.- || | | / \\.-________\\____.....-----' \ -. \ | | \ `. \ \ | __________ `. .'\ \| |\ _________ LGB `..' \ | | \ \\ .' | / .`. | \.' | |.' `-._ \ _ . / \_\-._____) \_.-` .`'._____.'`. \_\-| | `._________.' >Cordless Phone I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter said, "You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost." -<>- >Privacy? The company where I work provides five-foot-high cubicles so each employee can have some privacy. One day a co-worker had an exasperating phone conversation with one of her teenage sons. After hanging up, she heaved a sigh and said, "No one ever listens to me." Immediately, several voices from surrounding cubicles called out, "Yes, we do." -<>- >Communication A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well, and I just act as if I'm listening." -<>- >Guided Tour A class from a nearby university was visiting a major drug manufacturer. The tour guide led the students to a glass-enclosed room. They could see several people in white lab coats. With her back to the glass, the guide announced: "In this room researchers are actively searching for cures for disease." She stopped short as the group broke out laughing. Puzzled, the guide turned to look. Through the glass she saw three scientists in animated debate, flipping through the pages of a Pizza menu. -<>- >Dressing Room My three-year-old daughter and I went shopping with my mother. A rather large woman, Mom sometimes had a tough time finding just the right fit. When my mother picked out a yellow suit, my daughter went into the dressing room with her. A moment later, Mom asked her how she liked the outfit. My daughter replied, "Oh, Nana, you look so pretty. Just like a big yellow school bus!" The suit stayed in the dressing room. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ____ / \ u u| _______ \ | .-''#%&#&%#``-. = / ((%&#&#&%&VK&%&)) | `-._#%&##&%_.-' /\/\`--. `-."".-' | | \ /`./ |\/| \ `-' / || | \ / VK >SMILES The waiter at the diner came over to the table and asked his customer, "And how did you find the steak?" "Easy," snarled the patron. "I just shoved a spoonful of potatoes to the side, and there it was!" -------- My older son loves school, but his younger brother absolutely hates it. One weekend he cried and fretted, and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday. Sunday morning on the way home from church, the crying and whining built to a crescendo. At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, "Honey, it's a law. If you don't go to school, they'll put Mommy in jail." He looked at me, thought a moment, then he asked, "How long would you have to stay?" -------- In the historic first manned mission to Mars, two Astronauts were charting the Martian surface. "Look at that," said one to the other, "how beautiful this alien landscape is, untouched by man." At that point, he was cut off, as he found his radio communications knocked out by unknown interference. Using an emissions detector, they followed the source of the interference until they reached the rim of a crater. "Do you see what the source of that noise is?" asked the first astronaut. "I don't know," replied the second, "but it might be coming from that Starbucks behind you." -------- The father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school on Parents' Day and observed his son hard at work in the chemistry lab. "What are you working on?" he asked. "A universal solvent," explained the son, "a solvent that'll dissolve anything." The father whistled, clearly impressed, then he wondered aloud, "What'll you keep it in?" -------- As the animals left Noah's ark, Mrs. Noah looked up at the dirty, beat-up, smelly boat and sighed, It looks like such a wreck. Are we just going to leave it on the mountaintop? Don't worry about it, Noah said confidently, I left the termites on board. ------- The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience. After a long pause, the pilot said "You mean you're not the instructor?" -------- A young lady, visiting the London zoo, asked the keeper where the monkeys were. Keeper: "They're in the back, making love." Young lady: "Would they come out for some peanuts?" Keeper: "I don't know. Would you?" -------- There was a blonde who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: "I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM. Signed, The Blonde." She pinned the note inside the boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Also inside the bag was the following note: "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!" -------- While attending a convention, 3 psychiatrists take a walk. "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears," one says, "but we have no one to go to with our problems. Since we're all professionals, why don't we hear each other out right-now?" They agree that this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I overbill patients as often as I can." The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me." The third psychiatrist confesses, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret." ------- A guy dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors. Satan explains, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind one of these doors. The good news is that you can take a peek behind each and take your choice." The man opens the first door and sees a room full of people standing on their heads on a concrete floor. Opening the second door, he sees a room full of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor. Better, but best to check the last door. The last door revealed a room full of people standing waist- deep in excrement sipping coffee. "Of the three, this one looks best," he says and he wades in to get something to drink while Satan closes the door. A few minutes later the door opens, Satan sticks his head in and says, "Okay, coffee break`s over, back on your heads!" -------- Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, with a warning from the Mother Superior not to get even a drop of paint on their habits, which are costly to replace. After conferring about this, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint naked. In the middle of the project, there's a knock at the door. "Who is it?" calls one of the nuns. "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, both deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room. They open the door. "Nice bods!" says the man. "Where do you want the blinds?" -------- A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!" ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From American Heritage Today, Heritage Action for America released its inaugural Presidential Platform Review (PPR). The 24,000-word review evaluates Republican presidential candidates on their past actions and current platforms in six critical areas: growth, opportunity, civil society, limited government, favoritism, and national security. Read the full review now. http://heritageaction.com/ --- ...one of my favs, Ted Cruz, scored best - not too surprising :) [Politics] >From Our Friend Melinda :) 'The last class I took at a local college the teacher spent more of her time promoting her political views. In addition, The book promoted Islam, and the transgender movement. Never mind traditional Creationism, now it is woman ruled the earth before the male appeared' -Melinda "Who Killed the Liberal Arts?" http://tinyurl.com/ngk6jfm --- ...Thanks Melinda! Yes colleges are being taught almost all by liberal professors with next to no conservative professors. Since liberals believe in socialism so much these days, I am surprised colleges don't all give students a free ride instead of expecting the government to use tax payer money to fund free education like Hillary and Sanders are taunting in their socialist kill America campaign promises. It is OK for us hard working taxpayers to go broke but not them to loose any of their 6 figure incomes! Just like health care providers. The big hospitals, pharmaceuticals and insurance companies didn't loose anything - only us hardworking citizens have to pay more for medical coverage and have larger deductibles to cover all those not paying. Obamacare didn't reduce costs for anybody working! Family members of the Americans who died in Benghazi say that Hillary Clinton lied to them about the cause of the attack that killed their loved ones. Benghazi families say Hillary Lied http://tinyurl.com/ofx4fdz Criticizing Christianity - President Obama Compares Crusades To ISIS - Ben Carson - Fox & Friends http://tinyurl.com/o2nnbw6 A thermonuclear missile launch (US Navy Trident ballistic missile) over the Los Angeles area last night is a final warning to China to halt escalations toward World War III. The "official" story reported by the mainstream press is total bunk. This wasn't a routine test. It was a strong warning coming as a last-ditch effort to halt China's increasingly aggressive war stance. China now has ballistic missiles that can destroy U.S. Navy ships. Add in the EMP weapon threat and cyber warfare attacks, and you have the makings of war. Let's hope the U.S. military can defend our nation against the Russians and the Chinese: Click here for the full story with over a dozen documented links. http://tinyurl.com/o57nfa5 --- ...Not good. Something to pray about. Thanks Melinda! -<>- >From BizarreNews: A local story has been making some national news recently; that of murdered hero and then disgraced police lieutenant Joseph Gliniewicz of Fox Lake, Illinois. The story first surfaced a couple of months ago. Lt. Gliniewicz reported following three suspicious men on foot, early in the morning at the beginning of his shift. His next and last radio contact was for backup. After that he was found dead, shot twice, once in his ballistic vest and once in his upper chest. It was immediately assumed to be a murder, and a massive manhunt for the 3 mysterious individuals ensued. It lasted days, but no suspects were ever found. After that there was a big memorial service, Gliniewicz was lauded as a hero and a pillar of the community with 30 years of service, but soon some suspicious details began to trickle out. There were emails and text messages hinting at some petty embezzlement. Then the coroner came out and said that the fatal gunshot might have been a suicide. Then, all of a sudden, a flood of information came out. Gliniewicz supposedly had stolen an unspecified amount from the city (estimated to be in the five figures) and blew the money on vacations, gifts, gym memberships, mortgage payments and even adult websites (I thought that last one was a nice touch). And apparently there were plans to intimidate, harass and frame a village administrator who was trying to investigate the accounts the money was allegedly stolen from. Then, a small story was published by WGN reporting that Gliniewicz had been asked to help with an internal police investigation of its former chief of police. This after the current police chief asked him to delay his retirement for a month to help out. That's right, Gliniewicz was two weeks away from retirement when he died. Then that story was never mentioned again. So let's review; you have what appears to be a well-respected career police officer. Heavily involved in the community. A youth mentor and police advocate. Days before he is about to retire he is asked to postpone his retirement so that he can stay on and help with an internal police investigation. Two days after that he is gunned down under mysterious circumstances. Within weeks he is the target of an aggressive smear campaign and the community hero is transformed into a corrupt parasite and s##ual pervert. Immediately after that it is determined that the two gunshots he took to the chest was a suicide... because he was so corrupt, you see, he had to shoot himself. And like any 30-year police veteran would do, he tried to kill himself first by shooting himself in his ballistic vest. Now, I'm no expert, but does anything about the story I just told you seem fishy? I'm not saying this cop wasn't involved with some kind of embezzlement or harassment, but if he were can you think of a better fall guy? Of course, there is absolutely no evidence of that. That is what you call a conspiracy theory. Not that conspiracy theories haven't been correct before. But if you don't get an issue of Bizarre News from me next week you will know where to start looking. *-- California couple's engagement ring beset with wisdom tooth --* ['Or the case of the Tooth Fairy wedding'] SANTA ANA, Calif. - A California woman whose photo of her engagement ring beset with her finance's wisdom tooth went viral says "diamonds are so overrated." Carlee Leifkes of Orange County, Calif., said her relationship with fiance Lucas Unger has been unconventional ever since they first met at a music festival in his native Canada. "So incredibly excited to marry my best friend, the man who knows that his wisdom tooth means more to me than a diamond," Leifkes wrote in a Facebook post. "We have never been the 'traditional couple,' why the heck start now?" Leifkes told Buzzfeed the ring, which bears one of the wisdom teeth removed from Unger's mouth at the age of 17, means more to her than a diamond. "When we'd spoken about it, I'd said that diamonds are so overrated," she said. "My birthstone is a diamond. I don't need one to prove how much someone loves me. He'd already moved all the way from Canada to do that!" Leifkes said the viral photo has resulted in a lot of feedback, some positive and some negative. "We thank everyone for their continued support and love and cannot wait to share photos of our wedding with those who appreciate the love we share! And for those couples out there who are looking to stray away from the traditional diamond ring, remember: Diamonds are not always a girls best friend, your significant other is and don't let other people tell you otherwise!" she wrote on Facebook. *-- Trained mouse caught smuggling drugs through Brazilian prison --* ARAGUAINA, Brazil - Officials at a Brazilian prison said they captured a trained mouse used by prisoners to shuttle drugs and other contraband between cells at the facility. Gean Carlos Gomes, director of the Barra da Grota prison in Araguaina, said the tiny trafficker was spotted running through a prison corridor with bags of drugs tied to its tail. The investigation into the drug-smuggling mouse turned up 29 small packets of marijuana and 23 packages of cocaine. Gomes said officers are reviewing CCTV footage in an attempt to determine who was behind the scheme. "They attached a hook to the mouse's tail and then used it to carry the drugs and other goods from one cell to another," Gomes told G1. "When the animal arrived at its destination, the prisoner took the mouse and removed the hook from its tail." A video shared by prison officers shows the tame mouse allowing investigators to pet it on the head. The mouse was released outside the prison, officials said. *-- Woman charged with trespassing after tiger bites her hand --* OMAHA - A woman in Omaha was accused of trespassing after sneaking into a local zoo and being bitten by a tiger on Halloween night. Jacqueline Edie, 33, is currently being treated for injuries on her left hand at the Creighton University Medial Center. Edie, who showed signs of intoxication and acted aggressively towards hospital staff, allegedly snuck into the Henry Doorly Zoo & Aquarium Saturday night to pet an 18-year-old Malayan tiger named Mai. Zoo officials say that upon reaching into the animal's cage, the tiger bit Edie's hand and caused severe trauma. A friend then transported Edie to the hospital. Police say the incident may have occurred at 4 a.m. The incident is currently under investigation by the Omaha Police Department. How Edie managed to enter the zoo is still under investigation. Executive director Dennis Pate told Sky News additional cameras are being installed at the zoo, which is currently staffed by 24-hour security personnel and equipped with computerized locks for entry and exit points. Zoo patron Ron Hegg told Omaha.com the tiger's actions were understandable. "It's not like it got loose and attacked someone," Hegg said. "It was just protecting its territory." *-- 'Star Wars' villain Emperor Palpatine wins seat on Ukrainian city council --* ODESSA, Ukraine - A man running for a Ukrainian city council seat under the name of Emperor Palpatine, the villain from the Star Wars films, won with more than 54 percent of votes. Aleksandr Borovik, 25, who used the Sith Lord's name and costume in his campaign for the Odessa city council, was one of nearly 50 candidates in the election to use names taken from the Star Wars films. Borovik, who identified himself as holding the position of "emperor" for "LLC Palpatine Finance Group," won more than 54 percent of votes for his seat. Odessa has recently seen a surge in Star Wars-related news after a statue of Vladimir Lenin was transformed into Darth Vader last week, and a man in a Chewbacca costume was arrested while campaigning for city council candidate Darth Vader. The emperor's election was decried by mayoral candidate Sasha Borovik in a Facebook post. "I can't understand, but all the same respect, the choice of those who voted for the current government," he wrote. "We all have our own choices ... but it's above my understanding. People, what's wrong with you?" ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: .---------------. / oLo \ O/_____/________/____\O /__________+__________\ / (#############) \ |[**](#############)[**]| \_______________________/ |_""__|_,-----,_|__""_| | | '-----' | | APC'97 '-' '-' My wife cannot ride in a car without telling whoever is driving what to do, when to do it, etc. She is, bar none, the worst back seat driver in the world. I have long thought this, though she would deny it. She claimed she seldom, if ever made comments about my driving. I, of course, claimed the opposite. Now I have proof. The other day we were headed for the mall and my daughter piped up, "Daddy, before you married Mommy, who told you how to drive?" -<>- When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?!'" -<>- When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: "Some parents," she said, "tell the older child, 'We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.' But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'" One of the women spoke up immediately. "Does she cook?" -<>- After years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, a young man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted. "Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "but it didn't work out and they brought you back." -<>- A man goes into the home improvement store and says, "I'd like to order 5,000 finishing bricks." "Certainly," says the salesman, "Are they for a garage?" "No," says the man; "They're for a Bar-B-Q." "Why do you need so many bricks for a bar-b-q?" asks the salesman. "Well," says the man, "we live in a 3rd floor flat." -<>- I was working in a scrap yard during summer vacation at engineering university. I used to work repairing construction equipment. One afternoon, I was taking apart a piling hammer that had some very large bolts holding it together. One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free it I started heating the nut with an oxy-acetylene torch. As I was doing this, one of the dimmest apprentices I have ever known came along. He asked me what I was doing. I patiently explained that if I heated the nut it would grow larger and release its grip on the bolt so I could then remove it. "So things get larger when they get hot, do they?" he asked. Suddenly, an idea flashed into my mind. "Yes," I said, "that's why days are longer in summer and shorter in winter." There was a long pause, then his face cleared. "You know, I always wondered about that," he said. -<>- __---__ _-^ ^-_ ,' _--_ `. ,' ,' ^-/-=: `. / :=-_ / \ \ / / \ `-_ / / \ i / `--'<__,' i Bweep! | ,' __ `. | Bweep! | `.' \/-^^-_ \ | / l `--__ L`. \ l _. __. \ ~7 L`._ | / > >===> > /\ / _-^ \/~ / ^: | ^^' _-| `. / _-^ ,' '.:.'|_-^\ -^ \ `._-^,' ,' .n- | _-^| `. ^-_ _-^ |`._-^ | `.^-_ ^~---~^/-_ | | |\ \ ^^--___--^ `. ,'| | / \ | |\ \ / | | ,' | | |=\ | < \ | ,' ,' \ Z | \ `.,' / | Z \ | / |-_ Z ,' ,' ^-_Z _-^ / `__ _-^ _-^ `,' _-^ My sister is a know-it-all who bristles at anyone's well- intentioned advice. But when our older sister gave her several clever tips, she was impressed. "I have to hand it to Pat," she told me. "She really is smart. Not Jeopardy! smart; more Wheel of Fortune smart." -<>- My friend sat down with a new client at her gym to review her application. For the question "To what do you attribute your fitness issues?" the woman wrote, "Horrendous eating habits." "What makes you answer that?" my friend asked. The woman replied, "I can't spell atrocious." ========================================================= >-->From LaughAndLift: >*_Quick Jokes_* .-''-. ( \ ) ( .----. ) ( )'/ '( ) `\ -- /` `)(` /`\/`\ / \ / \_/\_/ \ \ \ / / \/\ /\/ ))) ((( | | | | |_____| \ | / jgs )|( /-T-\ (_/`\_) A feisty 70 year old woman had to call a furnace repairman. After a quick inspection the man put some oil into the motor and handed her a $70 bill for labor. "Labor charges!" she exclaimed. "It took you five minutes." The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge on every house call. "Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor," the lady responded, and she handed him a rake. The repairman spent the next 55 minutes in her yard bagging leaves. --------- Nurse: How old are you, Mrs. Smith? Patient: None of your business. Nurse: But the doctor must know your age for his records. Patient: Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that? Nurse: Yes. Fifty. Patient: All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get? Nurse: Zero. Patient: Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age. --------- If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do? --------- In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking. "Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite gender?" I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?'" -------- During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever make a serious mistake?" "Yes, was the reply, "I once cured a millionaire in three visits!" -------- The salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in the department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside..." --------- *_How a Computer Program is Made _* Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle: 1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free. 2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. 3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs. 4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs. 5. See 3 6. See 4 7. See 5 8. See 6 9. See 7 10. See 8 11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released. 12. Users find 137 new bugs. 13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found. 14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones. 15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits. 16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs. 17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch. 18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free... --- ...unless he is the programer on Obamacare websites - he and his staff just charge tax payers seven times as much to fix all the bugs. No new programmers are hired. Obama never fires any of his incompetent help, he just throws more money at them figuring they will somehow get more smart and fix what they didn't do right the first several times. Obamacare Website Cost $634 Million, Faces Months of Glitches: Healthcare.gov, the federal Obamacare website, cost taxpayers more than $630 million, nearly seven times its original estimate of $93 million, new figures reveal. http://tinyurl.com/pb7wuc4 You thought Healthcare.gov had problems? A handful of state-run exchange websites—which cost nearly half a billion dollars to build—still don’t work, nearly seven months after they first went live. Largely inoperable state exchange websites in Maryland, Massachusetts, Oregon and Nevada have racked up $474 million federal tax dollars so far, Politico first reported. The costs will continue to climb as states scramble to salvage the flailing websites or transition onto the federal exchange. http://tinyurl.com/kt6qyyf I wish I had that much money to build my website with! Wowsers how awesome it would be! I'd have funds to keep it going forever AND still give plenty to charity! --------- _,,,_ .' `'. / ____ \ | .'_ _\/ / ) a a| .----. / ( > | /| '--. ( ) ._ / || ]| `-. ) _/-.__.'`\ || ]| ::| ( .-'`-. \__ ) || ]| ::| `/ `-./ `. || ]| ::| _ | \ \ \ \| ]| .-' / \| \ \ \ \ L.__ .--'( | |\ `. / / \ ,---|_ \---------, | `\'. '. /`\ \/ .--._|=- |_ /| | \ '. '._ './`\/ .-' '. / | | | `'. `;-:-;`)| |-./ | | /_ `'--./_ ` )/'-------------')/) | \ | `""""----"`\//`""`/,===..'`````````/ ( | | | / `---` `===' / ) | / \ / / ( | | '------. |'--------------------'| ) | \ `-| | / | `--...,______| | ( | | | | | ) ,| | | | | ( /|| | | | | )/ `" / \ | | (/ jgs .' /I\ '.| | /) .-'_.'/ \'. | | / ``` `"""` `| .-------------------.|| `"` `"` Real Programmers (Humor for those few of you who are computer programmers :) -Chris) - Real Programmers disdain structured programming. Structured programming is for compulsive neurotics who were prematurely toilet- trained. They wear neckties and carefully line up sharp pencils on an otherwise clear desk. - Real Programmers don't believe in schedules. Planners make schedules. Managers firm up schedules. Frightened coders strive to meet schedules. Real programmers ignore schedules. - Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. - Real Programmers don't document. Documentation is for simps who can't read the listings or object deck. - Real Programmers don't draw flowcharts. Cavemen drew flowcharts and look how much good it did them. - Real Programmers don't play tennis or any other sport that requires you to change clothes. - Real Programmers don't write in LISP. Only stupid programs contain more parenthesis than actual code. - Real Programmers don't write in "C" or "C++". There has to be something wrong with a language who's next generation gets just a barely better grade. - Real Programmers write in the machine's native binary code, ASM macros are for those who can't divide HEX numbers in their head. - Real Programmers don't write specs - users should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get. - Real Programmers scorn floating-point arithmetic. The decimal point was invented for pansy bed wetters who are unable to think big. - Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9am, it's because they were up all night. --- ...HaHa! The sad part is, I agree with most of these! :) _SUBSCRIBE INFO_ Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) * FREE US VET STUFF * Veterans Day 2015: Here's a list of restaurant deals and freebies http://tinyurl.com/pcf8z83 Ray's Freedom Rock 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedomrock2.html Proud Of Our Troops 7!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops7.html Sgt.Stubby War Dog Hero!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stubbywardog.html WWII P-51 Mustang Pilot!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wwiipilot.html 9/11 Where God Wants Me!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wheregodwantsme.html Willie, Joe And Bill In WWII!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mauldin.html USS New York LPD-21 Tribute!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ussny.html Men Will Be Boys!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.html Humor With Cars!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carhumor.html Humorous Signs 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hsigns2.html Big Baby Big Dogs!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigdogs.html Extreme Rednecks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eredneck.html Cell Phone Madness!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cellphone.html Life's Little Oops 13!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops13.html Humor In Religion 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hreligion3.html -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Nepal, located in southern Asia, is one of the most special countries in the world. This video, created by filmmaker and travel enthusiast Devin Graham, and hosted by Turkish Airlines, shows you how much beauty exists in this magical place. It is a country bursting with color, smiles, energy and nature - and they're all magnificently captured in these electrifying two and a half minutes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc1HDF2AyNE&feature=player_embedded I love living in Arizona. Sure, the summers are hot, but it's worth it for these incredible monsoon storms. They're so beautiful, and they've never looked better than in this 4K ultra-HD time-lapse video. Watch one of the best monsoon videos you'll ever see and make sure you view it in 4K if your connection is fast enough! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc7d7F5T6rI&feature=player_embedded Comedy illusionists Scott & Muriel totally amazed and entertained the audience and judges at the 32nd Monte Carlo International Circus Festival. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwnXwIGaXco&feature=player_embedded Carl-Einar Heckner is a comedy magician from Sweden, a title he takes very seriously. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_RSkt8fcvrg --- ...Nice! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Rubber Ducky? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SVBUdPjDWk This Dad Delivers His Baby On The Side Of The Highway http://tinyurl.com/otdk8gb A man tries to play with lions at the zoo and their response is exactly what you might expect it to be http://tinyurl.com/pj4zrxs --- ...Great! Thanks Melody! For those like me that have a hard time loading the page see it on youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88dqPXjf-48 I guess I need a faster computer for all the ads on most websites these days! Hobbit House ~ Living In The Future https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-0OqFkzqJI Kind Strangers Surprise Women In A Retirement Home With Makeovers - Heartwarming Video http://tinyurl.com/pheeu8d A group of bears looking for their next meal stumble upon a delicious cat. Funny enough, the cat defends itself and the bear gets scared and runs away. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt_1sQNyHm8 --- ...Why cats need to keep their claws! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) See Ya On The Bus https://www.facebook.com/CarbonTV/videos/403997546475360/ Next Generation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5VfejeNGsU Talent! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jca_p_3FcWA Trey Gowdy - interesting Questions! The silence is deafing - a must watch 3 1/2 minute video... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1jeJmeeMjs Guess Who? https://www.youtube.com/embed/rrjU-HBkmLE?feature=player_detailpage --- ...Stunning! Thanks Genainn! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) Animals and golf…. Even if you are not a "golfer" you will enjoy watching http://www.chonday.com/Videos/animalspga2 --- ...Teehee! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Melinda :) Depopulation-advocating globalist Bill Gates comes out in full push for totalitarian socialism, says 'democracy is a problem' http://tinyurl.com/pncuklm --- ...Thanks Melinda! Wow! And I thought only Obama had the 'average' IQ - Maybe he thinks we are all stupid and will fall for anything he says - you know just take his word for it because he is rich - not to mention he got rich from what he calls a 'problem today' - democracy with capitalism. Go figure - bite the hand that fed you your billions of dollars Bill! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "It was announced that China officially ended its one-child policy this week, and will allow parents to have two children. Over the next few nights, the only thing that will be 'made in China' is love." -Jimmy Fallon "A drunk woman in Nebraska had to be hospitalized this weekend after she broke into a zoo because she wanted to pet a tiger and wound up being bitten by the animal. When asked how she's doing, the woman said, 'Not GR-R-R-REAT!'" -Seth Meyers "I've been trying to say 'I love you' more often, starting this morning. I said it to my family before I left the house. And then to my barista. And then to her manager, when the barista complained that one of the customers was making her uncomfortable." -Stephen Colbert "A new study found that heavy drinkers outlive non-drinkers, but the ways they die are a lot more embarrassing." -Jimmy Fallon "A Canadian pharmacy had to apologize this weekend after accidentally handing out bipolar medication on Halloween instead of candy. The victims say they're sad that it happened, but happy that it happened." -Seth Meyers "A new study shows current members of Congress speak at a 10th grade level. When reached for comment, Congressman Eric Cantor said, 'Nuh-uh!'" -Conan O'Brien "Amazon is considering starting its own clothing line. Which is strange, because what's great about shopping on Amazon is not having to wear clothes." -Conan O'Brien "Daylight saving is one of those things we do for no reason. Like signing up for a gym membership, it makes no sense." -Jimmy Kimmel "A new survey found that 46 percent of doctors have used Google or Yahoo to diagnose their patients' symptoms. Yeah, last time I got sick, my doctor was like, 'I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have 'Server Not Responding.'" -Jimmy Fallon "You know who gave the shortest inauguration speech in history? George Washington. It was only like three minutes long. Well, sure. George Washington couldn't tell a lie." -Jay Leno >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************