The Wal-Mart Cat & More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net =========================== >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) | -+- _ Paul and Elrhea _|_ {@} _|=|_ /___\ /(")\ (") .---'-'---. /((~))\/\ _ .-. /___________\ ~~/@\~~\|_|/ ((_)) | A /^\ A | / \ ||| ((_)) '-' | |"| | /~@~@~\ ||| '-' ldb_|___|_|___|_____/_______\|||___September 8th 1973___ Yesterday Paul and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary with KFC and spending time together in the surgeons office. Fun huh? By this time next week I will be minus one bad gallbladder. I am enjoying a new big screen monitor that Paul got for me. It makes seeing and working on this thing so much easier! I watched Dr. Phil last night and he and his wife are celebrating 32 years together. We got them beat by just a couple years :) See? Marriage isn't dead in the good old USA. There are a few of us hanging on to tradition. -<>- >Hot Off The Press... Lately Jo Ann has been sending us forwards everyday! Bless her heart. I took 4 of them and turned them into two sweet tribute pages for our up and coming rememberance of 9/11. W __ __ [ ] |::||::| E ._. |::||::| ._. |\ |:| ._. |::||::| |/| \ \\|/ |:|_|/| |::||::|_ |/| |-( )- |:|"|/|_|::||::|\|_|/| _ | V L |:|"|/|||::||::|\|||/||:| \ ` ___ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | \/ / ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Check them out here: Lest We Forget http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lestweforget.html Lest We Forget 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lestweforget2.html --- ...Thank You Jo Ann! You are such a blessing to us! -<>- ( (_) ### (#c _\|/_ #\ wWWWw \ \-. (/. .\) /\ /`\/\ /\ |\/ \_) (_| `\.' ; ; ;`\ Red, White, And Blue `\; ; . ;/\ `\; ; ;| \ ; .' ' ; / AMERICA! |_.' ; | /) ( ''._;'` | ' . ; |.-' .:) | | ( .' : | |,- .:: | | ,-' .;| jgs_/___,_.:_\_ [I_I_I_I_I_I_] | __________ | | || | | || | _| ||_|__|_|| |_ /=--------------=\ / \ | | Wow, with politics heating up, we've got all sorts of things for this issue. I suppose if I wanted to, I could do up page after page of the political agenda news items, but I really don't want to get that involved in it. People who know me know I am for God and country and am on the conservative side of politics which tends to throw me right in the middle of the republican party. Those that do not agree, please feel free to skip my ramblings and go on to the items in these ezines and on this web site that make you smile and bless you. That is my primary purpose here. I do not wish to alienate any one but at the same time, don't want any one not knowing where I stand. With that said, did any one hear what I heard? They are calling McCain's choice for VP, Sarah Palin, a Jesus Freak! Can you imagine? My son told me this and said it was going to hurt the campaign because of the thing with Bush. I just had to smile. How wonderful. I mean, I had watched the Republican convention and mostly heard nothing about Christianity or God until the end when they said God Bless you and I was thinking, gee, not much in there. I heard tons about Country but not much about God. You Need God to have morals and proper character as far as I am concerned. A person without God is most likely not one I consider to have many good morals instilled in them. After all who do they answer to Behind closed doors? At least we can hope someone with a Godly background has more character to rely on. He or she is answering to more then just those around them - a higher power - to their maker! So I am glad to hear this even if many are not. :) Also want to add that I have gotten almost the same email from two of our friends John-Paul and Viv about Palin. Both have about the same wording but each have different pictures. That's why I say I could do up many picture pages if politics was my goal on this great internet of ours. Here's what they both said: Just picked up some little known info on Palin's National Security Credentials. Some have shrugged off her position as Commander of the Alaskan National Guard but see this: "Alaska is the first line of defense in our missile interceptor defense system. The 49th Missile Defense Battalion of the Alaska National Guard is the unit that protects the entire nation from ballistic missile attacks. It's on permanent active duty, unlike other Guard units. As governor of Alaska, Palin is briefed on highly classified military issues, homeland security, and counterterrorism. Her exposure to classified material may rival even Biden's. She's also the commander in chief of the Alaska State Defense Force (ASDF), a federally recognized militia incorporated into Homeland Security's counterterrorism plans. Palin is privy to military and intelligence secrets that are vital to the entire country's defense. Given Alaska's proximity to Russia, she may have security clearances we don't even know about. According to the Washington Post, she first met with McCain in February, but nobody ever found out. This is a woman used to keeping secrets. She can be entrusted with our national security, because she already is." Visit here for some great pics: http://arkansasgopwing.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah-palin-national-security-clearance.html --- ...Excellent! Thank You John-Paul and Viv! ====================================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: A Congressmen's Lunch .;;;;;. .3333o ;;;` e\ /a Y33 ;;( > < )33 /\\ _< o@*O@o >_ .-/ /\ ||/'--( *O\@/o )--'\|| || \ \ _ > < _ / / || || \ \| |~| / \ |~| |/ / || || \ '-'__...._|_|__\___/__|_|_...__'-' / || || '--/` `\--' || ||.--'` | | `'--.|| || | | || ||'===== '--...._________________.....--' ====='|| ||.-"""""-.||| | | |||.-"""""-.|| || || || | | ||| || || ||-'|| ||__|__ __|__||| ||'-|| || jgs ||_.___) (___._||| || A pair of congressmen met for lunch to hash out their political differences. Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. "You're lying!" he shouted. "Of course I'm lying," the other said, "but hear me out." ==================================================================== +---------------- Bizarre Sporting Mishaps ----------------+ After beating 1000 rivals in a 500-mile race, Percy the racing pigeon flopped down exhausted in a Sheffield loft and was promptly eaten by a cat. In preparation for the 1992 New York Golden Gloves Championships, boxer Daniel Caruso psyched himself up by pounding his gloves into his face. In doing so, he broke his nose and was disqualified from the match. While waving to the crowd after finishing fourth in the 500cc US Motor Cycle Championship in 1989, Kevin Magee fell off the machine and broke his leg. During a cricket game in Kalgoorlie, Australia, Stan Dawson was hit by a delivery which ignited a box of matches in his pocket. As he tried to beat down the flames, he was tagged out. Russian athlete Ivanon Vyacheslav was so thrilled to win a medal at the 1956 Melbourne Olympics that he threw the medal high into the air. It landed in Lake Wendouree, and was never found. ================================================================== >-->From The Jokester: >Worth a few mins time... http://www.adnstream.tv/video/nilSqaMboM/HISTORIA-DE-UN-LETRERO-THE-STORY-OF -<>- >Perceptions My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My gosh!" said my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" So you see, there really are two ways to look at everything. -<>- Greenland ,--. \ _\_ _\/_|_\____.'\ -(___.--._____( \ \ \ \ `--' jg A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is sent to the base and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it. The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft, only to find that the latrine pump truck has been left outdoors and is frozen solid, so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes even more time. He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as to not risk criticism later. As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, "Son, your attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late and I'm going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded but punished." Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands up tall and says, "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son; I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule, Greenland for 11 months without any leave, and reindeer are beginning to look pretty good to me. I have one stripe; it's two-thirty in the morning, the temperature is 40 degrees below zero and my job here is to pump sh*t from your aircraft. Now just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?" -<>- Weird, but Interesting! fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! -<>- Scottish Sympathy .-.-. __ \ / __ ( ` \.'.' ) A shamrock (or a four-leaf clover). (__.', \ .__) / \`===, `-^-' niki Bono, the lead singer of the band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self righteous. At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice with a broad Scottish accent, from the front of the crowd, pierces the quiet ............."Well, stop doin' it then!" ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Becky :) Becky writes: Hi Emb, Just wanted to know if this is true... BEIJING (AFP) - Used condoms are being recycled into hair bands in southern China threatening to spread sexually-transmittable diseases they were originally meant to prevent, state media reported Tuesday In the latest example of potentially harmful Chinese-made products, rubber hair bands have been found in local markets and beauty salons in Dongguan and Guangzhou cities in southern Guangdongprovince, China Daily newspaper said. 'These cheap and colourful rubber bands and hair ties sell well .. threatening the health of local people,' it said. Despite being recycled, the hair bands could still contain bacteria and viruses, it said. 'People could be infected with AIDS, (genital) warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while waving their hair into plaits or buns,' the paper quoted a local dermatologist who gave only his surname, Dong, as saying. A bag of ten of the recycled bands sells for just 25 s en (three cents), much cheaper than others on the market, accounting for their popularity, the paper said. A government official was quoted as saying recycling condoms was illegal. In response, it launched a public relations blitz this summer aimed at playing up efforts to strengthen monitoring systems --- ...Yes! Weird for sure but absolutely true. Snopes was saying it was rejected ones from the factory being used but DID warn that it could be USED ones as well. Rubber bands from china are in question too! Just another reason, folks, to BUY AMERICAN! Thanks for bringing this one to our Attention Becky! I for one would not want to run the risk of harming my little one with something so simple as this! Here's the full story on Snopes if you want to check it out. http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/hairband.asp =================================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatH :) She sent us a sweet forward that I'd gotten before and done into a page. 'Polar Bear - I come in Peace'... Visit it here: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/polar.html --- ...Thank You PatH for this nice reminder. Bringing us smiles! -<>- Luv all ever, now!! I just luv this one, now!! lol >National Girlfriend and Sister's Week I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hairspray I use and the friends I have. To the cool women who have touched my life. Here's to you! National Girlfriends Day If you get this twice you know you have more than one girlfriend. Be Happy! PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS AND RETURN IT TO THE FRIEND WHO SENT IT TO YOU It is good to be a woman: 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. 3. Taxis stop for us. 4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo. 6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves. 7.. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end. 9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 10. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot. 13. We will never regret piercing our ears. 14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway. Send this to all the bright women you know and make their day!!!!! Love ya! Mean it! --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Pat! !! [[[Huggums]]] =================================================================== >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) "God gave you 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank-you"? Newsmax.com – Maher Mocks Palin's Down Syndrome Child http://www.newsmax.com/insidecover/maher_mocks_palin/2008/09/05/128099.html?s=al&promo_code=6973-1 -<>- Dear Friend... "A taxpayer voting for Barack Obama is like a Chicken voting for---- Colonel Sanders." Psssst...Have you heard this news? Well read the attached, and you be the Judge. http://community-2.webtv.net/calypso-cat/DearFriend/ --- ...I loved it! Thank You John-Paul!! =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Sophie :) PLEASE RSVP. THANK YOU. BET I GET THIS BACK. This is the sacred angel. _..---.._ .' .-'''-. '. / .' _..._'. \ __ : : /`;' ) : : _,="`\ ,--''` ``'.; : |; ,-; : ; __..==""==.,_| `-, `; .\; / ^\ _,.="// '-,_.--._ '.(;_.'__/`_.-'`\ ,.--''`` _..=. `'--.// `` \ `--, '` `- |_\ '-. | `-._ _.;--`-..___,.-'` `'-...-_:',;`==,| \ _.--',=" / /"=;="=, _.' ,=".-'` .' /| ,=" _.--' .-' "=, : .' | ", `;._ .--'.' .-' .' . ; ,;;\_ . '._.'--'` -' / ,;;;._ '-._ .''.__.' `\_ .' '._ / '._ .(` jgs '._ ';./ `;` You MUST pass this angel on to at least 3 people within the hour of receiving this email. After you do, make a wish. If you have passed it on, your wish will come true and love will come your way shortly. You're... My friend, My companion, Through good times and bad, My friend, My buddy, Through happy and sad, Beside me you stand, Beside me you walk, You're there to listen, You're there to talk, With happiness, With smiles, With pain and tears, I know you'll be there, throughout the years! You are all good friends to me and I am grateful to you. Send this to all your good friends online to show them you are friends. If you get this back from: 1 person - you are lonely 2 people - you have a couple friends, but not many 3 people - you have a few friends... 4 people - you have some friends... 5 people - you have several friends!! 6 people - you have many friends!! 7 people - you are SOOOO loved!!! --- ...Thanks Sophie! Such a sweet one! ======================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Viv :) --- Our Flag is a very, very, good flag... .. * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ .$$$$. * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. .$$$$$ * * * * * * * * * * ::::::::::::::::::::::::::. .::::::::' * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$F * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$d$$$$$$$" ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::; $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::; ^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" ^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::" ""$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$L ;; ;::::::::::::::::;; ;;:::. $$$$$$" "" $$$$$; D Shepherd ^$$" $$$$ "" Democrats Throw 12,000 American Flags Into The Garbage In a staggering act of political and environmental insensitivity, the Democratic Party threw 12,000 American flags left over from their convention in Denver into the garbage during the cleanup of Invesco Field, where Barack Obama spoke before a flag-waving crowd. According to a Denver Post blogger, the flags were en route to a landfill when one of the cleanup workers realized what was happening. The worker, whose name is not yet known, turned the flags over to local Republicans, hoping to save them. Local Republican officials say that the flags will be used at a McCain-Palin rally today in Colorado Springs, and that the Republicans will see to it that the flags are properly re-used or respectfully destroyed. Flags can be properly disposed of by following the regulations of the US Flag Code. Local VFW posts and American Legion posts are always glad to help with flag disposal, as are most local Boy Scout troops. Flags should be re-used, stored for future re-use, or be ceremonially destroyed rather than being thrown into the garbage. It is never acceptable to simply throw the flag into the garbage. To throw 12,000 flags into the garbage is an act of the profoundest disrespect for the American flag, and to the veterans who fought and died under that banner. UPDATE: More pictures of flags in the garbage at the Democratic National Convention. UPDATE: Fox News is reporting that it was a vendor who discovered the flags, not a cleanup worker. UPDATE: The Democrats claim those flags were going to be used for other events, and were stolen by the McCain campaign. (I'll look forward to seeing the filed police report.) Left unsaid by the Democrats is why flags intended for use at other events were being stored "in and near" trash cans. ------------ The following is from someone who saw, first hand, how the recovered flags were put to use. Can't attest to the whole recovery process of the flags, but I was at the McCain/Palin rally Saturday in Colorado Springs. The Fox story was the one given at the rally (vendor discovered the flags and reclaimed them. Some too damaged and needed to be destroyed, some already in the dumpsters). There were somewhere between 13,000-15,000 people at that rally (maybe 3-5k turned away due to lack of space), and the picture shown from that rally doesn't do it justice. Most of those 12,000 flags were handed out (I have four of them myself), so it was a veritable sea of flags when Palin and McCain spoke. The local GOP collected them back from folks who didn't want to keep them, and many were destined for use at some of the military cemeteries in the state of Colorado. But many thousands of them went home with folks as well. Key takeaways: 1. Truly bipartisan flags. 2. Who says the GOP doesn't support the ecology and a clean environment. Here's a wonderful example of recycling in action. Remember when the DNCC was supposed to be the “greenest convention ever”? How they worried about the color of the food and using organic materials in their merchandise? I guess we can see where the “green” concern ends … at red, white, and blue. -<,,>- -=- (\ _ /) (`\(")/') (`/\') \\/^\// / \ hjw / \ `-._.-' When I say good morning I mean to say: G-od O-ffers us His O-utstanding D-evotion to M-ake us O-bedient & R-eady for a N-ew day with Him. I-nspire others please, and N-ever forget G-od loves you! If you like it send it to others. God will bless you for doing just that!!! HAVE A BLESSED DAY! --- ...Wonderful! Thank You Viv! ============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From Human Events: Barack Obama: What You Need to Know http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=19384 -<>- >From Liberty Council: Outraged that Colorado banned the Bible? Perhaps you heard about the new law in Colorado pushed by radical homosexual activists that effectively bans the Bible as "discriminatory". I just signed a petition to stop such "hate speech" laws from going into effect. Please join in. Go here to sign: http://www.libertyaction.org/292/petition.asp?PID=18134714&NID=1 -<>- >From NRA It's time for gun owners to take a closer look at just where Barack Obama stands on issues related to the Second Amendment. To that end, NRA-PVF has designed a new, comprehensive, and very informative Web site - www.GunBanObama.com - to serve as a resource for the facts on Barack Obama's Second Amendment stance. http://www.ilaalerts.org/UM/T.asp?A1.2.3666.2.2794086 Joe Biden: The Voice Of Anti-Gun Experience: Last week, we highlighted the enormous differences between vice presidential nominees Sarah Palin (R) and Joe Biden (D). Most people are saying that Barack Obama chose Biden as his running mate to compensate for his own lack of experience. After all, Obama has been in the Senate since only 2005, while Biden has been a senator since 1973, when Obama was 11 years old. But few in the Senate have as much experience as Biden in attacking our Right to Keep and Bear Arms. http://www.ilaalerts.org/UM/T.asp?A1.2.3666.4.2794086 -<>- >From BizarreNews: )/_ (' \ Hewlp /) ) ---/'-""--- )/_ <' \ Help Me! /) ) ---/'-""--- )/_ -' \ Hewlp /) ) ---/'-""--- AsH -- Pet cockatoo's cries bring police ------------ TRENTON, N.J. - Police in a New Jersey city responding to a call of a woman screaming discovered that the noise was coming from a pet cockatoo. Passersby thought the sounds coming from a house in Trenton were those of someone screaming in terror and thought that they heard the words "Help me," WCAU-TV in Philadelphia reported. Police officers had difficulty getting into the house, which was also home to a large German shepherd. Once inside, they found a talking bird named Luna. Luna's owners face no charges. -- Purse snatcher leaves behind fake breast --------- PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. - Authorities in Port St. Lucie, Fla., said a cross-dressing purse snatcher dropped one of his fake breasts at the scene of the crime. Police said the 74-year-old victim told them the perpetrator, a man dressed in women's clothing, pushed her to the ground in the Sears parking lot and sprinted off with her purse, the Palm Beach (Fla.) Post reported Thursday. The woman said a water- filled condom that had been shoved inside of a tube sock fell out of the attacker's tube top during the incident and police spokesman Officer Robert Vega said fingerprint and DNA tests were performed on the item and a hair stuck to the tube sock to determine the identity of the suspect. The victim suffered bruises to her knee, left arm and hand during the incident. Police said the attacker was seen getting into a car with three other men who were also dressed in women's clothing. -- Police: Credit card thief uses own name ---------- IOWA CITY, Iowa - Police say an Iowa man accused of credit card theft forgot who he was supposed to be and allegedly signed his real name on credit card slips. Kody David Merrival, 21, of Iowa City, Iowa, was arrested after an unidentified man told police that his wallet had been stolen and his credit cards were being used, the Iowa City Press-Citizen reported Thursday. Police say Merrival allegedly used the card for his own account at a coffee house in the city and signed his real name on a slip for a carton of cigarettes, the Press-Citizen reported. Police caught up with him when he allegedly tried to make a purchase at a deli. Merrival, who allegedly confessed to using the credit card but denied stealing the wallet, has been charged with an aggravated misdemeanor, the Press- Trust reported. __i |---| |[_]| |:::| -- Family gets $19,370 cell phone bill ------ |:::| `\ \ \_=_\ jsm PORTLAND, Ore. - An Oregon family unwittingly racked up a $19,370 cell phone bill in international charges, they say. The Terry family's 200-page AT&T cell phone bill mostly lists fees for sending e-mail messages and photos, which are otherwise covered in their unlimited plan, KPTV of Portland, Ore., reported Thursday. But because a laptop using an AirCard was used in Canada to send e-mails back home, fees began to add up. AT&T says the AirCard allows users to connect to e-mail, the Internet and business applications while traveling, but international use is not included in the Terrys' cell-phone plan. They said they asked an AT&T employee about the service before their son left the country. They said they were not warned about international fees. "(We) have a bill that runs normally $250 to $300 for our cell phones," Dave Terry said. "When AT&T saw the numbers getting over $1,000, I would think it's their responsibility to inform us that something was amiss because that card could have been stolen." ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) (O_/ __ \_O) / (o)__(o) \ (__.--\/--.__) ====(__/\__)==== `--' _||_ /'....'\ | : : | ||: :|| ||: :|| ||: :|| ||: :|| ||: :|| ||: :|| ||: :|| || `..' || ( | || | ) \| || |/ | || | | || | | || | | || | | || | __,-' || '-,__ (___,--'`--,___) dlK So Little Time !! So little time to say things You would really like to say. Before you even find the words, The time just slips away. So little time to do the things You feel that you must do. So treasure, like the purest gold, The time God's given you. So little time to dream your dreams For youth has passed its prime; And all too soon you realize, That there's so little time. So little time to reach the height To which you've bound to climb; For swiftly pass the years, And there's so little time. So little time to pass regrets; And less, to make amends. Yet God can heal the deepest wounds In chosen, cherished friends. So little time to share God's love And beauty here on Earth; And know, before His endless time, Their meaning and true worth. Oh, yes, there is so little time To seek the hidden door That opens up to heaven's time Where time's forever more. Making time today To remember someone very special to me. . . YOU! -<>- Check out this creepy looking spider... you can press your spacebar to feed it bugs, or use your mouse to move it.. ( ) ( /\ .-"""-. /\ //\\/ ,,, \//\\ |/\| ,;;;;;, |/\| //\\\;-"""-;///\\ // \/ . \/ \\ (| ,-_| \ | / |_-, |) //`__\.-.-./__`\\ // /.-(() ())-.\ \\ (\ |) '---' (| /) ` (| |) ` jgs \) (/ VIRTUAL SPIDER http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/ ---- ...Ewww This one reminds me of this teaching I wrote: Feeling Kind of BUGGY! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/fearfeelingkindofbuggy.html Thank You Jo Ann! Cool Stuff! =================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a pro- minent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be five years from now?" "Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now." -<>- "I bet you think twice before you leave your wife alone at night," chided one man to the other. "I'll say." replied the second. "First, I have to think up a reason for going out. Second, I have to think up why she can't go with me." -<>- On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no "I" in the word 'marriage.'"' The wife said, "For my part, I have never corrected my husband's spelling." -<>- Applicants for jobs at the company where my friend Diana works are asked to fill out a questionnaire. Among the things candidates list is their high school and when they attended. One prospective employee dutifully wrote the name of his high school, followed by the dates attended: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. ================================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: ~o__.__O \_)--:--/ ejm 96 / <\ waltz: While I dance I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from life. I can only be joyful and whole. That is why I dance. - Hans Bos ~o O__. ~o O__. |-+--' \-+-' ejm 96 /%\|\ /%\|\ |/|/ |/|/ To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking. - Agnes De Mille -<>- / ) (\__/) ( ( ) ( ) ) ={ }= / / ) `-------/ / ( / \ | ,'\ , ,' `-'\ ,---\ | \ _) ) `. \ / (__/ ) ) hjw (_/ The Wal-Mart Cat A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail over to WAL-MART! Why WAL-MART? HELLOOOOOOOOO!? WALMART is the largest retailer in the world. -<>- Q. Why does static on a color television display in black and white? A. When enough of a TV signal is received to give a reasonable picture, there is, hidden within the information, a "color burst" which tells the receiver that a color signal is being transmitted. When a receiver is operated without an incoming signal, the input circuits are working at maximum gain (seeking to find what is not there). At this time what we see is a combination of random noise plus the noise in the input stages of the receiver but there is no color burst, the oscillator is not locked and thus the spots are monochrome. -<>- ,-"-. ,' .----. _________ `. ,' ) (@)__))___) |`-.-'| # \\ `---' ^ hjw Teacher Arrested A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. 'Al-gebra is a problem for us,' the Attorney General said. 'They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle.'' -<>- Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done. Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount. Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes. Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time. __ .--.;_.'-. _., \__.' ;@ '. .'; `. ; __..-"'o ; ;' ; ;_/ ._.-' '. } : / `. _i/v\. ; i',; ( \_.' .(_) ; ' /{ \/ '. .r_.' .'\ ; .' .''-';_ ; ''-. ; / '.`. \ ; '. ; '. '._.; _ ; ; ; \.' '.__.-i ; fsc 'wWw' "wWw' Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer: NUTS! Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth. =================================================================== >-->The Things Our Children Say .===. _ _ / _/\ \ / )%.===.%( \ \/6.6\/ | // ,,, \\ | ( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===. _)---(_ /\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \ / `~` \ ^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ ) /\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )( \ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_) \|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \ | L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) ) |__|__| / ()/^\() \ /'._\|/_.'\ | | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\ |_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"` jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) * "Close the curtains," requested our 2 year old grand- daughter, sitting in a pool of bright light. "The sun's looking at me too hard." * My friend asked our grandson when he would turn 6. He replied, "When I'm tired of being 5." * Seeing her first hailstorm, Mary Sue, age 3, exclaimed, "Mommy, it's raining dumplings!" * As I frantically waved away a pesky fly with a white dishtowel, my granddaughter observed, "Maybe he thinks you're surrendering." * Announcing to daughter Lori that her aunt just had a baby and it looked like her uncle, she said, "You mean he has a mustache?" * When I asked our grandson if he could name the capital of Florida, he fired right back, "capital F!" * While shampooing our son, 4, I noted his hair was growing so fast he'd soon need it cut. He replied, "Maybe we shouldn't water it so much." * My daughter told her 5-year-old that their van was going to be fixed. Instantly, the small fry assumed, "Oh, it's going to the tire-o-practor?" * Impressed by her 5-year-old's vocabulary, my friend complimented the young scholar, who nonchalantly responded, "I have words in my head I haven't even used yet." * His mom informed her son, Brian, that she was going outside to get a little sun. "But Mommy, he gulped, "You already have a son -- me!" * When our son asked about two look-alike classmates at school, we told him they were probably twins. The next day, he came home from school all bubbly and said, "Guess what? They are not only twins, they're brothers! ================================================================== >-->From AndyChaps: mom, you up there? / ,==. |~~~ / 66\ | \c -_) |~~~ `) ( | / \ |~~~ / \ \ | (( /\ \_ |~~~ \\ \ `--`| / / / |~~~ jgs___ (_(___)_| ** RETIREMENT FROM A CHILD'S VIEW ** After a winter break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday. One small child wrote the following: We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a brick home, but Grandpa got retarded and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. They all live in tin boxes, they ride on big 3-wheeled tricycles and they all have name tags because they don't know who they are. They go to a big building called a wrecked hall, but they must have got it fixed up, because its alright now. They play games and do exercises there but they don't do them very good. There's a swimming pool there, but they stand in it with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim. As you go to their park, there's a doll house with a little man sitting in it. He watches all day so they can't get by without seeing them. When they sneak out, they go to the beach and pick up shells. My grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but i guess she forgot how. Nobody cooks they just eat out. They eat the same thing every night; Early birds. Some of the people don't know how to cook at all, so my grandma and grandpa bring food into the wrecked hall and they call it "pot luck". My grandma says grandpa worked all his life and earned his retardment. I wish they would move back up here, but i guess the little man in the doll house won't let them. -<>- ** No More Searching ** John, a neighbor of mine, was annoyed because he had to search for his newspaper each morning after the paperboy tossed it. Often he would find it, covered with dirt, under the car in the gravel driveway. Then one day the paperboy's mother mentioned that her son's ambition was to play professional basketball. John had an idea. When he got home, he attached a basketball hoop to a post on the front porch. Sure enough, the next morning there was a resounding "plunk" as the newspaper sailed through the hoop and landed by the door. John never had to search for his paper again. -<>- _.._ / a\__, \ -.___/ \ \ (\____) \ |\_( )) _____| (_ /________ _\____(______/__ gnv ______ ** Goober Goes Duck Hunting ** Two Gobers decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven't bagged any. One Goober looks at the other and says, "I just don't understand it, why aren't we getting any ducks?" His friend says, "I keep telling you, I just don't think we're throwing the dog high enough..." -<>- ** The most popular joke in Germany ** A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it." -<>- ** The Chevy Nova Award ** These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is given in honor of the GM's fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. "No va" means, in Spanish, "No go." 1. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?" 2. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious adult magazine. 3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa). 4. Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese. 5. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "kokou kole", translating into "happiness in the mouth." 6. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate." 7. When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" (vuela en cuero) in Spanish! -<>- /; / |'-,. / ' `"---,.__ / ' ,' , '"--,"| / ' , ,' ,"::| / ' ,' , ,"::::| / ' , ,' ,"::::::L / ' ,' ,' ,"::::::::L / ' , , ,":::::::::J k-,._ ,' _.":::::::::::J \. `"----'"".J::::::::::::| \. .-, .L:::::::::::| \. ( .J:::::::::::! \. `-- .L:::::::::/ \. .-. .|::::::::/ \. ( ) .J:::::::/ \. `-' .L:::::/ \. L .|::::/ \. !__ .J:::/ \. __ .L:/ \. L_) .|/ `-,__,-' kth ** Buying A Book From Ben Franklin ** One day a gentleman walked into one of Ben Franklin's book stores. As one of the clerks went to assist him, the gentleman asked the clerk the price of the book he wished to purchase. The young clerk looked at the price posted on the book and said, "That book is one dollar, sir." The gentleman began to haggle with the clerk over the price. The clerk assured him that the correct price for the book was one dollar and no lower. As the man realized that his efforts to haggle with the clerk were going nowhere, he insisted on speaking with Ben Franklin directly. Franklin stopped his work, walked out to the storefront and the gentleman asked, "What is the price of this book?" Franklin answered, "One dollar and a quarter." The gentleman was confused and replied, "Your clerk just said it was a dollar." Franklin looked at the book again and answered, "Yes, it was a dollar. But now you're wasting my time." -<>- ** GOOD NEWS ** This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood - shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I have some very good news for you. I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight." -<>- ** Groaners ** ** Very little seems to be known about the salivary glands. I guess that's because they are so secretive. ** The name of the Knight who created Sir Arthur's Round Table must have been... --Sir Cumference. ** A diplomat explained his work to a casual inquirer in this way. "When you are with the butcher you talk meat; when you are with the baker you talk bread, and when you are with both of them … You talk about sandwiches." ~~Source unknown -<>- __ @@;, ( ; ? : ); _| |_ | | || | | _| |_ | \ \ \/ || \/ ___ / / | __| |\ __||____||___||______/| | ||| | |_______ _________| | ||| ||| |____ | | ____| ||| Design by \ \______ ) | | / ______/ / || | | | | | /___| || Samule J. Neptune || | | |_ /| | |\ _| || || || | \__, / | | | \<__/ | || ** Dinner Time ** On vacation in Hawaii, my stepmom Sandy called a cafe to make reservations for 7:00pm. Checking her book, the cheery hostess said, "I'm sorry, but all we have is 6:45pm. Would you like that?" "That's fine," Sandy replied. "Okay," the hostess confirmed. Then she added, "Just be advised that you may have to wait 15 minutes for your table." -<>- ** The Grocery Store Scuffle ** My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store (near the cash registers), when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run away. After a scuffle, my friend pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him. "Everything's fine, Folks," he reassured them. "This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than nine items." ===================================================================== >-->From SermondFodder: On his Key Life radio program Steve Brown told of a friend who attended a meeting of a local civic club. One member who was the pastor of a local congregation normally gave the invocation. Since the pastor was absent and there were no other ministers in attendance, the President asked the guest speaker if he would offer the blessing. The speaker stood up and started his prayer, "Being no ministers present, We thank thee Oh God............." --- This post is brought your way by Sermon Fodder and Joke A Day Ministries. To subscribe go to http://www.sermonfodder.com or drop an email note to Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Please leave this attached if you forward this to friends. --- >Fizzit Momma .----. ===(_)== THIS WONT HURT A BIT... // 6 6 \\ / ( 7 ) \ '--' / \_ ._/ __) (__ /"`/`\`V/`\`\ / \ `Y _/_ \ / [DR]\_ |/ / /\ | ( \/ / / / \ \ \ / \ `-/` _.` jgs `=. `=./ `"` By Keith Todd www.sermonfodder.com A friend of mine recently shared a little "parable in real life" that God sent her several years ago. When her son was quite small, he had a small stuffed gorilla that he wagged around with him everywhere -- and I do mean EVERYWHERE -- he went. She could sometimes sneak it away for a quick laundering during nap time, but Heaven help her if her son awoke before his friend "Rilla" was out of the dryer! As such '"loveys" will do, Rilla's seams gradually began to weaken and his stuffing began to leak. As she tells it, "Poor old Rilla was in desperate need of some corrective surgery, not to mention a stuffing transplant. One day, John waddled up to me and held up his battered, beloved Rilla and said, 'Mommy, Rilla's broked.' I explained that I would be happy to fix Rilla up -- a little new stuffing, some seam reinforcement, and he would be 'all better' again. John held Rilla out toward me, and said 'Fizzit, Mommy!' But, when I reached down to take the little gorilla in my hands, I found that it had a two-year-old firmly attached to it. As all parents know, a tug-of-war with a two-year-old is frequently a losing proposition, and is ALWAYS accompanied by loud cries and copious tears. Finally, in exasperation, I said, 'I can't fix it until you let go of it!!!' And just at that moment, the Spirit of God tapped me on the shoulder, as it were -- and I realized that God was waiting for me to let go of several things, too." This is one aspect of Christianity that I suspect will always be a struggle for many of us-- "tis not I, but Christ liveth in me". It's so hard for us to get out of his way and let him "fizzit" in his own good time, because we're living in the present moment and He is living in eternity. Waiting on the Lord, whether it is for healing, for understanding, or a much needed job, is not an easy task. But, I truly believe it is essential for all of us to be as patient with Him as He is with us. Grace and peace, Keith Todd The Sermon Fodder Guy www.sermonfodder.com ===================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Grandparent Tribute Poem: To Begin With... http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/begin.html Kids Being Kids! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kids.html Playing with Legos http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/legocar.html Cost Of A Child http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/costofchild.html Little Ones http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/litones.html One Day http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/oneday.html Google Tips http://www.techradar.com/news/internet/web/google-week-101-google-tips-tricks-and-hacks-462143 Metaphysics http://www.philosophyclass.com/metaphysics.htm Celebrity Money http://www.unfabulouz.info/2008/08/celebrity-money.html Bandwidth Speed test http://speedtest.aeronetpr.com/ So You Think You Had A Bad Day? http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes_013.htm -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Jump http://www.buffaloschips.com/72232.htm Kayak http://www.buffaloschips.com/72233.htm Kidnap http://www.buffaloschips.com/72234.htm Kitchen Oil Fire http://www.buffaloschips.com/72235.htm Loafing http://www.buffaloschips.com/851.htm Posedis http://www.buffaloschips.com/71002.htm Wake Up http://www.buffaloschips.com/71003.htm Wal-Mart Baby http://www.buffaloschips.com/71004.htm WatDoeJeNou http://www.buffaloschips.com/71005.htm Waterbed http://www.buffaloschips.com/71006.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com =================================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A new study has found that teenagers are drinking less, and they are smoking less. The reason for the decrease is that the teens don't want to be a bad influence on their kids." --Craig Kilborn "Earlier this week in France a 62-year-old man was rushed to the emergency room and 350 coins were removed from his stomach. Friends say that the worst part was having to watch him make change for a dollar." --Conan O'Brien "Although a lot of people are on these low-carb diets, doctors say be careful, because you need carbohydrates because carbohydrates create a chemical in your brain that cheers you up and fights depression. So the next time you see a guy on a ledge, about to jump...throw him a doughnut." --Jay Leno "Today is the 75th anniversary of the Empire State Building. This is a great historic fact. The Empire State building is the only American landmark to have ever had a giant ape on top of it. Unless you count Maria Shriver as a landmark." --Dave Letterman "There exists a widespread myth that humans should learn about sex from their parents. My relationship with my father nearly ended when he tried to teach me how to drive. I can't imagine our relationship having survived his instructing me how to have sex." --Bob Smith "It was different when we were kids. In second grade, a teacher came in and gave us all a lecture about not smoking, and then they sent us over to arts and crafts to make ash- trays for Mother's Day." --Paul Clay It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************