The White Lie Cake and More ... :) Shangy!

>-->WELCOME To ALL Our NEW SHANGY FUN LIST Yahoo Group Members!

>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:

To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html

Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net

===================================================================

>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)

This has been a BUSY weekend! So I will get right down to it and
let you know all the new cool stuff available on the site for you.

Our friend Steve hooked us up with an interesting photo on day
and night which inspired the following page.

                       .    |     .     
                        \   |    /      
                    `.   \  '   /   .'  
                      `. .-*""*-. .'    
                  "*-._ /.*"  "*.\ _.-*"
                       : <o>  <o> ; ____
                  """"':    ..    ;     
                  _.-*" \ `.__.' / "*-._
                      .' `-.__.-' `.    
    bug             .'   /   .  \   `.  
                        /    |   \      
                       '     |    `     
Day And Night
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/dayandnight.html

-<,,>-

Our friends Del and Pat helped add and update one of the Troop pages:
            _
    ______,' `._______                   _______
   (______(   }___,,__) .';-.;',`.;';.`=|_______)
         .'  ,'  //
        '    \  //
       '      `'/
   ----`-------~-------------------
David Riley

Updated: Daily With The Troops
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/daily.html

-<,,>-

We have a new friend, Barbara from Oregon who shared a yummy 
recipe she loves with us.
    _______
   /       )
  /_____   | ______
 (  '   ) / /    __\   _____
  |.  '| / |     \ |  /     ))
  |____|/  |`-----'  /_____))
            `-----'  `------'         cf
'Butterbraids DESSERTS' Under the Desserts category here:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html

-Be sure to email her and let her know how  you like this recipe

She Also shared her son's photography gallery site here:
                      _                        
                      \`*-.                    
                       )  _`-.                 
                      .  : `. .                
                      : _   '  \               
                      ; *` _.   `*-._          
                      `-.-'          `-.       
                        ;       `       `.     
                        :.       .        \    
                        . \  .   :   .-'   .   
                        '  `+.;  ;  '      :   
                        :  '  |    ;       ;-. 
                        ; '   : :`-:     _.`* ;
               [bug] .*' /  .*' ; .*`- +'  `*' 
                     `*-*   `*-*  `*-*'        

                  http://www.pbase.com/oregon2u 

Wonderful pictures of cats, hills, flowers, sunsets and more - sure
to make you SMILE! Be sure to visit and leave a comment to let him 
know what you think!

-<,,>-

If that wasn't enough to keep me busy, I Updated these too!

Updated: FUN URLS
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ursl.html

Updated: Animated GIFS - Added 48 images
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/agifs.html

Updated the Group Photos: Cool HOT Shots from Steve and
some I had in archive from other of our members who shared
with us in the past. Enjoy! :)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList

-<,,>-

>Need Advice from a Celebrity point of view?
                  ____________________
                 |                    |
                 |     MANDY MOORE    |
                 |       ADVICE       |
                 |____________________|
                 ||  ,-..'``.        ||
                 || (,-..'`. )       ||
                 ||   )-c - `)\      ||
   ,.,._.-.,_,.,-||,.(`.--  ,`',.-,_,||.-.,.,-,._.
              ___||____,`,'--._______||
             |`._||______`'__________||
             |   ||     __           ||
             |   ||    |.-' ,|-      ||
   _,_,,..-,_|   ||    ._)) `|-      ||,.,_,_.-.,_
            . `._||__________________||   ____    .
     .              .           .     . <.____`>
   .SSt  .      .     .      .    .   _.()`'()`'  .

As a member of FunAdvice, I've got great news for you from them...

Mandy Moore (yes, that Mandy Moore) volunteered to answer your 
questions for the next month on FunAdvice.com. 

Check out her profile here:
http://www.funadvice.com/my/mandymoore

What’s that mean for you? It means, you can get answers to your 
questions from a celebrity with experience in movies, music, and 
entertainment. Have you ever wanted to know what it’s like to be
a celebrity? Ask away, and you’ll get a personal response. You 
can also add Mandy Moore as a friend, view a selection of her 
photos, and rate the ones you like best.

>========> Now On With our Regularly Scheduled SMILES <=========<

>-->From The FunnyBone:Total Loss                   .\^/.
                                                  . |`|/| .
                                                  |\|\|'|/|
  A man walks into a friend and sees that      .--'-\`|/-''--.
  his friend's car is a total loss and          \`-._\|./.-'/
  covered with leaves, grass, branches,          >`-._|/.-'<  jgs
  dirt and blood.  He asks his friend,          '~|/~~|~~\|~'
  "What's happened to your car?"                      |

        |       "Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer".
      .'|'.
     /.'|\ \    "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But
     | /|'.|    what about the  leaves, the grass, the branches and
      \ |\/     the dirt?"
 jgs   \|/
        `       "Well, I had to chase him all through the park."

========================================================================

>-->From BizarreNews:

I found the neatest web page devoted to diners and diner
culture. Yes, apparently there is such a thing! The coolest
part of the page was a list of 'diner slang.'

Diner slang was popular in diners, luncheonettes and lunch
rooms from the 1920s until the 1970s. Although many of the
terms were created for fun and to lighten the stress of
the restaurant environment, having distinct names for menu
items helped the short order cooks (according to the web
page).

You've probably heard some of this in old movies. But I
found it so amusing I pulled some of the best slang to
create a little quiz for you! I've provided the answers
below, so let's see if you'd make a good Soup jockey.
                   _
                 /' `\
                 k___y
                 th  j
                 /`Y'\
          .,--,. \___/   
  ...   ,'  __  ',    _
  |||  j  /'  `\  t  f |
  t j  f |      | j  t_|
   T   j  \    /  t   Y|
   |    ', `--' ,'    ||
   U      '~--~'      LJ

kth

Identify the following...

Paint it red
Java, Joe or a cup of mud
A blonde with sand
Shake one in the hay
Cackle fruit
Wreck 'em
Adam & Eve on a raft
On the hoof
Bloodhound in the Hay
Whistleberries
Frog sticks
Paint a bow-wow red
Irish turkey
Zeppelins in a fog
Burn one
Pin a rose on it
Burn one; drag it through the garden and pin a rose on it.

----ANSWERS After 'In The WorldlyNews' in tthis ezine----

===================================================================

>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the 
words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the 
testimonials of a few people who did....

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and 
asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job? I 
turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't 
say a word... he knew better.

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was 
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for 
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen 
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, 
I looked at him and said, I think I like playing with men's balls.

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a 
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the 
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm 
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the 
boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my 
sister has never let me forget. 

-<>-

>Men Are Just Happier People
                _
               (  )         ,,,,,
                 \\         . .  ,
                  \\       | -   D
                  (._)     \__-  |
                             |   |
                 \\|_  , ,---- _ |----.
                  \__ ( (           /  )       _
                     | \/ \.   '  _.|  \     (  )
                     |  \ /(   /    /\_ \    //
                      \ /  (       / /  )   //
                           (  ,   / / ,   (_.)
                           |......\ |  \,
                          /  /     ) \---
                   b'ger /___/___^//

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple 
creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding 
plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white 
T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car 
Mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station 
restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and 
think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes 
don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time; phone 
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A 
5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all of your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone 
forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more 
than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are 
unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays 
its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even 
decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big 
hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You 
can wear shorts no matter what your legs look like. You can "do" your 
nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing 
a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 
minutes. No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy 
reading it.

======================================================================

>-->From The Jokester:

                _|_
                 |
             .-'''''-.
          .-'  <oOo>  '-.
       .-'  :::::_:::::  '-.
   ___/ ==:...:::-:::...:== \___
  /_____________________________\
':'-._________________________.-'_
 ':::\ @-,`-[-][-^-][-]-`,-@ / _| |_
  '::| .-------------------. ||_ @ _|
   ::|=|*   ___  _  ___   *|=|'.| |
   ':| |'   ))_) )) ))_)  '| |::.^|
   _:|=|'  ((`\ (( ((     '|=|::::::.
 _| || |'        _        '| |:::::::.
|_   |=|'1634  _( )_  1789'|=|':::::.
  | || |' (   (_ ~ _)   ) '| | ':::'
  |^||=|*  )    (_)    (  *|=| '::'
     | '-------------------' .::::'
     |_____________________.::::::'
   .'___________________.::::::''
   |_______________.::::'':::'''
 .'_____________.::::::''::::''
            .:::'''' LGB .'::::'
         .:::::''':.   .:::::'

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up and no place to go.
 
In a London, England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me for not rising.
 
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art
In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep;
And thou wilt find a Penny.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.

In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you soon will be.
Prepare yourself and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went

Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore
One slug from a 44
No Les
No More

===================================================================

>-->From Our Friend Betty :)

>Shoes
                     ____
                 ___|=--=/
                \=--=| :(___.--.
          .--.___):  {  __ '    )
         (    ` __    )=  ""----'Ahas
         '----""  ===='
I showered and shaved...............
I adjusted my tie. I got there and sat..............
In a pew just in time. Bowing my head in prayer.........
As I closed my eyes. I saw the shoe of the man next to me.....
Touching my own. I sighed.

With plenty of room on either side......
I thought, 'Why must our soles touch?'
It bothered me, his shoe touching mine..
But it didn't bother him much.

A prayer began: 'Our Father'............
I thought, 'This man with the shoes..has no pride
They're dusty, worn, and scratched.
Even worse, there are holes on the side!'

'Thank You for blessings,' the prayer went on.
The shoe man said...............a quiet 'Amen.'
I tried to focus on the prayer.......
But my thoughts were on his shoes again.

Aren't we supposed to look our best....
When walking through that door?
Well, this certainly isn't it,' I thought,
Glancing toward the floor.

Then the prayer was ended...........
And the songs of praise began.
The shoe man was certainly loud......
Sounding proud as he sang.

His voice lifted the rafters........
His hands were raised high.
The Lord could surely hear....
The shoe man's voice from the sky.

It was time for the offering.........
And what I threw in was steep.
I watched as the shoe man reached....
Into his pockets so deep.

I saw what was pulled out............
What the shoe man put in.
Then I heard a soft 'clink' ....
as when silver hits tin.

The sermon really bored me..........
To tears, and that's no lie.
It was the same for the shoe man.....
For tears fell from his eyes.

At the end of the service........
As is the custom here.
We must greet new visitors....
And show them all good cheer.

But I felt moved somehow.............
And wanted to meet the shoe man.
So after the closing prayer..........
I reached over and shook his hand.

He was old and his skin was dark.....
And his hair was truly a mess.
But I thanked him for coming.........
For being our guest.

He said, 'My names' Charlie..........
I'm glad to meet you, my friend.'
There were tears in his eyes.........
But he had a large, wide grin.

'Let me explain,' he said..........
Wiping tears from his eyes.
'I've been coming here for months....
And you're the first to say 'Hi.'' '

I know that my appearance.........
'Is not like all the rest.
'But I really do try.................
'To always look my best.'

'I always clean and polish my shoes....
'Before my very long walk.
'But by the time I get here........
'They're dirty and  dusty, like chalk.'

My heart filled with pain............
and I swallowed to hide my tears
As he continued to apologize........
For daring to sit so near.

He said, 'When I get here...........
'I know I must look a sight.
'But I thought if I could touch you..
'Then maybe our souls might unite.'

I was silent for a moment............
Knowing whatever was said
Would pale in comparison...
I spoke from my heart, not my head.

'Oh, you've touched me,' I said......
'And taught me, in part;
'That the best of any man............
'Is what is found in his heart.'

The rest, I thought,.................
This shoe man will never know.
Like just how thankful I really am...
That his dirty old shoe touched my soul

You are special to me and you have made a difference in my life.
I respect you, and truly cherish you.
Send this to your friends,
No matter how often you talk,
Or how close you are,
And send it to the person who sent it to you.
Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them,
and tell new friends you never will.

Remember, everyone needs a friend.
Someday you might feel like you have no friends at all.
Just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing that
someone out there cares about you..... and always will.

Just Me

---
...Wonderful! 

-<>-

>The White Lie Cake
                   _____
           _..--'''@   @'''--.._
         .'   @_/-//-\/>/>'/ @  '.
        (  @  /_<//<'/----------^-)
        |'._  @     //|###########|
        |~  ''--..@|',|}}}}}}}}}}}|
        |  ~   ~   |/ |###########|
        | ~~  ~   ~|./|{{{{{{{{{{{|
         '._ ~ ~ ~ |,/`````````````
      jrei  ''--.~.|/

(I opened this expecting a recipe of some kind, but this is even 
better!) Have you ever told a white lie?  You are going to love this -
especially all of you ladies who bake for church events.
 
Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church ladies' group 
bake sale in Tuscaloosa , Alabama but she forgot to do it until the last 
minute. She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after 
rummaging through cabinets she found an angel food cake mix and quickly 
made it while drying her hair and dressing and helping her son Bryan 
pack up for Scout camp.
 
But when Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat 
and the cake was horribly disfigured. She said, "Oh dear, there's no 
time to bake another cake."  This cake was so important to Alice because 
she did so want to fit in at her new church and in her new community of 
new friends.  So, being inventive, she needed something to put in the 
center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom -- a roll of toilet 
paper. She plunked it in the center of the cake and then covered it with 
icing.  Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked 
perfect!
 
Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for 
work, Alice woke her daughter Amanda and gave her some money and 
specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened at 
9:30, and to buy that cake and bring it home.
 
When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found that the attractive, 
perfect cake had already been sold.  Amanda grabbed her cell phone and 
called her Mom. Alice was so horrified she was beside herself. Everyone 
would know, what would they think? Oh, my she wailed!  She would be 
ostracized, talked about, ridiculed. All night Alice lay awake in bed 
thinking about people pointing their fingers at her and talking about 
her behind her back.
 
The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try to not think 
about the cake and she would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at 
the home of a friend of a friend and try to have a good time.  Alice did 
not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than 
once had looked down nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and 
not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP'd
she could not think of a believable excuse to stay home.  The meal was 
elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old South . . and to 
Alice's horror, the CAKE in question was presented for dessert. Alice 
felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake. She started 
out of her chair to rush to tell her hostess all about it, but before 
she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful 
cake!"  Alice, who was still stunned, sat back in her chair when she 
heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you, I 
baked it myself."
 
Alice smiled and thought to herself, "GOD is good."

---
...Leave it Betty to give us a sweet Twist! Thanks Betty!

====================================================================

>-->From Our Friend Maxy's Pal :)

   _.-    -._

   <-->  <-->     
       /\       "YAWN"
       __
      /  \
      \__/         fl
Scientists find reason for contagious yawning
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20279354/

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness ~ and nothing is so gentle....as
real strength."  ~*~ Author ~ St. Francis de Sales

---

...Well, I'm not so sure about this study - The article itself got 
me to yawn - in fact Just thinking of yawning does it for me :)

===================================================================

>-->From Our Friend Steve :)

>Long Handled Spoons...
                     (
                  )    )
               _.(--"("""--.._
              /, _..-----).._,\
             |  `'''-----'''`  |
              \               /
               '.           .'
           jgs   '--.....--'


                ___           .-""-.
               /   '''---...-'.'  `\\
          jgs  \___...---"""-._-.__//
                               '---'
A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,
Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

The Lord led the holy Man to two doors. He opened one of the doors
and the holy man looked in. In the Middle of the room was a large
round Table.

In the middle of the table was a large Pot of stew which smelled
Delicious and made the holy man's mouth Water. The people sitting
around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished.
They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to
their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew
and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their
arms, they could not get the spoons back into their Mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.
The Lord said, "You have seen Hell." They went to the next Room and
opened the door. It was exactly the same as the firs t one. There was
the large round table with the large Pot of stew which made the holy
man's Mouth water. The people were Equipped with the same
long-handled Spoons, but here the people were Well nourished and
plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, "I don’t understand." It is simple" said The Lord,
"it requires but one skill.

You see, they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think
only of themselves."

When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of you! Only 7% of the
people who read this will share it with others. 93% of people won't
forward this!

HAVE A BLESSED DAY AND PASS IT ON!!!!!
All my friends feed each other.

---
...Oh Yeah! 

-<>-

>Inner Strength

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs...........

Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
   )..(                 
   (.o)  
 `.(  )       
   ||||    ptr 
   "`'"  
-<..>-

>Life: Explained
     _
    /|\
   /_|_\
 ____|____
 \_o_o_o_/
~~ |     ~~~~~
___t_________ 

unknown

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist 
complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked 
how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the 
American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his 
needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta 
with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, 
have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full 
life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help 
you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the 
extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger 
boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second 
one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of 
trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then 
negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your 
own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico 
City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your 
huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," 
answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, 
you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the 
coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a 
siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your 
friends."

And the moral of this story is: 
......... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there. 

---

...Cool!

-<>-

>Hell
              (_)L|J
       )      (") |     (
       ,(. A `/ \-|   (,`)
      )' (' \/\ / |  ) (.
 jgs (' ),).  _W_ | (,)' )
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I do not know who originally wrote this but it is a classic.

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his 
graduate students. It had one question:

    "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? 
Support your answer with a proof." 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law 
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or 
some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following: "First, we need to know how 
the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that 
souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that 
we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. 
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering 
Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world 
today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of 
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of 
these religions and since people do not belong to more than one 
religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With 
birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in 
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of 
the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the 
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell 
has to expand as souls are added.This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which 
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will 
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the 
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop 
until Hell freezes over. 

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese 
Banyan during my Freshman year, 'That it will be a cold night in Hell 
before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I still 
have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then 2 cannot be 
true, and so Hell is exothermic."

This student got the only A.

---

...Thanks Steve - a funny. I couldn't help thinking about the biblical
meaning of 'hell' during my reading of this though. Hard to relate when
I am thinking grave and having to replace it with the traditional
meaning for 'hell' as being a hot - brimstone sort of devil place!

Visit here to understand what I mean:
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=455
 
==========================================================================

>-->In The Worldly News:

>From LifeScript:
                    _
      .--(-.        -`-_..'
     '      '       /)'-.`.  .'
    c'  ^ ^ '       `_) `-_)'
     '. `--''_        `)  \ BP
    .'`----' `.        \..'
    '         /'.*o
    `.       '\_o*
      '.  -__`--'
     coo_n          baby and bottle

Are Plastic Bottles Bad for You?
Your baby looks blissful sucking down the formula from his bottle. But 
maybe you should feel anxiety for two. Plastic baby bottles, sippy cups 
and pacifiers all contain a chemical called bisphenol A, or BPA, that 
some animal studies suggest could harm the brain development of infants 
and children…
http://tinyurl.com/2sb4bm

...Best rule of thumb?
If the plastic container is compromised - 
rough to touch or scratched - throw it away and do not use it!

25 Foods That Fight Disease
Diabetes. Cancer. Migraines. Arthritis. They are the debilitating 
diseases that can take a major toll on your life – or cut it short. Most 
people know the wrong diet can compound these conditions. But the right 
one can help manage, treat and even halt them. In her book Joy Bauer’s 
Food Cures (Rodale, 2007), renowned nutritionist Joy Bauer shares her 
prescription for a longer, healthier life – along with her list of 
mouth-watering, miracle-working foods…
http://tinyurl.com/2ukqr5

-<>-

>If Any Of These Interest you ...

IN THIS ISSUE:
          ==To Jihad or not to Jihad?
          ==Media pre-spinning Iraq War Report?
          ==The "Jellybean Summit"
          ==Border Fence Progress Report
          ==Anti-gun protests this week
          ==The end of summer

Go here to access this issue of the Grassfire Report online:
http://www.firesociety.com/blog/100/16906/?src=111

-<>-

>From BizarreNews:

    -- Police: Parents forced girl to fight ----------
MT. OLIVE, W.Va. - Police in Kanawha County, W.Va., have 
arrested a couple after they allegedly forced their 
daughter to fight a schoolmate. Debra Sue and Thomas Leon 
Grubb of Mt. Olive, W.Va., were arrested and accused of 
forcing the July 22 confrontation between their daughter, 
Gabrielle, and a schoolmate, Megan Willis, The Charleston 
(W.Va.) Daily Mail reported Thursday. State Police Trooper 
J.M. Comer said the two girls had been feuding over "kid 
things. You know, one is a cheerleader, one is not... 
childish stuff that should have ended long before this." 
Willis told police she was riding all-terrain vehicles with 
two friends when their path was blocked by the Grubbs' 
family vehicle. Willis said Gabrielle Grubb's parents 
approached her and said she wouldn't be able to run from 
their daughter anymore. "Gabrielle pleaded with her mom to 
please forget the situation, that she wished not to fight 
Megan," Comer wrote in the criminal complaint filed against 
the parents. "Debbie then removed Gabrielle from the 
vehicle" and the girls began to fight, Comer said. Willis 
sustained cuts to her mouth and foot. Gabrielle Grubb was 
not injured. 
                  __
      _______    /*_>-<
  ___/ _____ \__/ /
 <____/     \____/
 Valerie Haecky
         -- Boy kills snake at petting zoo -------------
CINCINNATI - A 10-year-old boy who said he hated snakes
killed a 10-foot python at petting zoo by stomping on the
reptile's head. Scott Braunstein, a reptile handler who
brought the snake to the St. Bernadette Festival in Amelia,
Ohio, last weekend, said he was shocked by the boy's
violence, The Cincinnati Enquirer said Thursday. The snake,
named Popcorn, was a non-poisonous albino Burmese python.
Braunstein, who operates House of Reptiles in Dry Ridge,
Ky., said the boy approached him and told him that he hated
snakes. The child then raised his leg and stomped down on
the snake's head, Braunstein said. A man believed to be the
boy's father grabbed the child and said, "This is why I
don't take you anywhere," before disappearing into the
crowd, the newspaper said. "I've never, never had anything
like that happen," Braunstein told the newspaper.
           (    )
            (oo)
   )\.-----/(O O)
  # ;       / u
    (  .   |} )
     |/ `.;|/;
     "     " "
unknown
     -- Blinky the two-headed cow born in Calif. ---------
TULARE, Calif. - Dairy workers at Hamstra Dairy in Tulare,
Calif., were confused and astounded when Blinky the two-
headed calf was born. "We call her Blinky because all four
eyes blink at the same time," said Greg Hamstra, owner of
the dairy. The heifer has one neck and two ears, but also
has four eyes, two mouths and two noses, the Fresno Bee
reported Thursday. Hamstra joked that he wasn't charging
admission for workers to view the two-headed calf, which
was found Tuesday morning. "We're probably getting less
done today than normal," he said. Blinky was discovered by
one of the workers, Hamstra said. Local veterinarian Pete
Kistler said the calf is "a rare, freaky thing," adding
that he isn't sure if the deformity is genetic or
developmental.

============================================================
                   _
                 /' `\
                 k___y
                 th  j
                 /`Y'\
          .,--,. \___/   
  ...   ,'  __  ',    _
  |||  j  /'  `\  t  f |
  t j  f |      | j  t_|
   T   j  \    /  t   Y|
   |    ', `--' ,'    ||
   U      '~--~'      LJ

*------------------ Diner Slang Answers ------------------*

Paint it red                 Put ketchup on an item
Java, Joe or a cup of mud    Coffee
A blonde with sand           Coffee with cream and sugar
Shake one in the hay         Strawberry milkshake
Cackle fruit                 Eggs
Wreck 'em                    Scrambled eggs
Adam & Eve on a raft         Two poached eggs on toast
On the hoof                  Any kind of meat cooked rare
Bloodhound in the Hay        Hot dog and Sauerkraut
Whistleberries               Baked beans
Frog sticks                  French fries
Paint a bow-wow red          Gimme a hot dog with ketchup
Irish turkey                 Corned beef and cabbage
Zeppelins in a fog           Sausages and mashed potatoes
Burn one                     Put a hamburger on the grill
Pin a rose on it             Add onion to an order

Burn one; drag it through    Hamburger with lettuce, tomato
the garden and pin a rose    and onion
on it.

===================================================================

>-->From The MouthPiece:

>Readers Write in...
   _       _
  (_'-----'_)
  (_.'""""._) fsc
I thought I'd share a couple of your broken bone stories!   

"I thought this might give you a chuckle or two. True story:   
My girlfriend and next door neighbor broke her arm. During   
the hot months July and August she was in a cast. My husband   
worked in a factory but in the evenings he was a Mechanic at   
home. He fixed cars for a lot of fellow workers, He had all   
the tools including an Air Compressor. This one night after   
a very hot day my husband was in the garage WITH his factory   
foreman, the Factory General Foreman, and another foreman.   
My friend came running out and without stopping to see who,   
if anyone was there, she came around the corner of the garage   
shouting "Oh Ronnie your here I need a blow job Now!" Need I   
say anymore!"   


"I too know you're pain. The first time I broke my left   
ankle was in 7th grade. I was at a basketball game and fell   
off the bleachers. It was at the end of the game maybe less   
than a minute to go. Everyone was standing, screaming, no   
one even noticed me laying on the ground til it was over.   
Yeah, it was embarrassing and it yeah, it sucked! I had a   
cast on for six weeks. By the way, we lost that game. Fast   
forward 20 years, I'm walking in the parking lot to my   
apartment, just got off work. It was February, some snow on   
the ground, but the sun was out.   
   
It was actually a nice day. I didn't want to get my feet wet,   
so I took the long way to get to the door. I fell on a patch   
of black ice. It hurt really, really bad and I did hear a   
crack! I tried to get up but there was no way I could put   
weight on it. The worst part of all of it I screamed and no   
one heard me. I had to CRAWL to my door and  my husband let   
me in. My girls were scared because mommy was crying, (kinda   
a wimp with pain). We went to the ER and I had broken two   
bones in my LEFT ankle. Six weeks in a cast.  So sorry to   
hear about your foot.  Hopefully once is enough for you."   
--Tina   


"so far, knock on my wooden head, I have no broken bones...   
but my son did it good, both legs in an auto accident...   
Here's how he worked it...his girl friend waited on him hand   
and foot! Thank God for girlfriends, I would have drowned   
him!"   
--Jackie   

-<,,>-

>Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...   
(especially when you share the same major!)   

PSYCHOLOGY   
Girl accuses boy of just using her as a substitute for his   
mother.   

SOCIOLOGY   
Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.   

ARCHAEOLOGY   
One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying   
to dig it up.   

THEATRE   
"OH! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"   

BIOLOGY   
"You just wanted to get in my genes!"   

PHYSICS   
Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must   
come down.   

JOURNALISM   
"Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called   
an end to their relationship of 2 weeks..."   

WOMEN'S STUDIES   
"HE did it!"   

BUSINESS   
Both decide that they're spending way too much money   
together, and that it's simply cheaper to be single.   

HISTORY   
Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the   
other party did in the past.   

GEOGRAPHY   
Both people decide to simply move far away to avoid each   
other.   

ANATOMY   
"I never liked your body anyway."   

ECONOMICS   
One party demands more than the other can supply.   

=============================================================

>-->From CleanLaffs:
                             |    
                             |    
                             |   _    |
                             |  <_>   |
                             |        |
                             |        |
                              `-._    |
                                 |`-._|
                                 |
                                 |
_________________________________|____
  `-._           `-._            |
      `-._           `-._        |
kat       `-._           `-._
>Standing on the sidelines during a football game at my son's   
high school, I saw one of the players take a hard hit. He   
tumbled to the ground and didn't move. We grabbed our first-   
aid gear and rushed out onto the field.   

The coach picked up the young man's hand and urged, "Son,   
can you hear me? Squeeze once for yes and twice for no."   

[Thanks to Reader's Digest.]   

-<>-   

Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to   
add a touch of my home state, Kansas, to the wedding. My   
fiancee, explaining this to a friend, said that we were   
planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the   
ceremony.   

Our friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly,   
"It's a good thing she's not from Idaho."   

-<>-

Rummaging through her attic one day, my friend Kathryn found   
an old shotgun. Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her   
parents.   

"Take it to the police station," her mother suggested. My   
friend was about to hang up when her mom added....   

"And, Kathryn?"   

"Yes, mom?"   

"Call them first and let them know you're coming."   

-<>-   

Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he   
called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first   
notice the leak?" the repairman inquired.   

Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to   
finish my soup!"   

===================================================================

>-->From Our Friends Del, Casey, & MrWu :)

"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not."
~ Thomas Jefferson

(This is why Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton want gun 
control so badly! )
      _,________
sjw _T _==____()
   /##(_)-'
  /##/
  """
>FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE
 
1.  An armed man is a citizen.  An unarmed man is a subject.
2.  A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
3.  Colt:  The original point and click interface.
4.  Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
5.  If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
6.  If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
7.  Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
8.  If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.
9.  Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
10.  The United States Constitution (c)1791.  All Rights Reserved.
11.  What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?
12.  The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore th
 others.
13.  64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
14.  Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.
15.  Know guns, know peace, know safety.  No guns, no peace, no safety.
16.  You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
17.  911:  Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
18.  Assault is a behavior, not a device.
19.  Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.
20.  If guns cause crime then matches cause arson.
21.  Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control 
them.
22.  You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.
23.  Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more.
24.  When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
25.  The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.
 
 
IF YOU AGREE, PASS THIS "REFRESHER" ON TO TEN FREE CITIZENS.

=========================================================================

>-->OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE FROM KIDS   
                  ,    ,    .
              , ~@  `@ @~  `@  ,
            ~@ @ZXZ%%X&ZX%Z%XZ@`,
         ;@ %  @.~@,-.&&,-.@~ @ @H @~
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   %@~            .,.    (/)_)          `@X
   H `          ,*@@@*.  d " b          ,@%@~
   %@~           &&&-b    \ /           ~@%
   X@.           && /: ,-/[x]\-.        ' X@
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  'X@           /](  )[\ /|M|\~| |        X@:
   H           | ( ~~ ) !\| |/ | |      `@%
   H@.         `='8  [`=' |-|  | |      ~ H
 ,@X            \\(@*)//  |-|  |/         H@~
   %@~         / (*@@*) \_| |__|        `@X
   H `        /   (*@)   \ |  |         ,@%@~
   X@        /  ,~ ;: ~`  \|  |           H
 `@% '      /     :  ;     \  |         ~@% ,
   H       /~       ;       \ |           X@.
   X@.    /.,   ~@~    ~@~   \|           H
   H      /  '"*.,,*"'*,.,*'"\|         `@H
  @X@~   /                    \          X@
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   H   /                        \         H
   H@.@~                       ~@\        %@,
 ,@X `'"*'*,  ~@~     ~@~  ,.*'"*"      ~@X
   H@~      '"*,.*"'"*.,*"'               H@.
   H><>gpyy<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><H

"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The   
Simpsons' is on television." (Anita, 6)   
   
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it.   
I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the   
girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)   

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade   
hard enough." (Regina, 10)   

THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER   
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even   
if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of   
bills." (Ava, 8)   

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU   
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores."   
(Del, 6)   

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might   
get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love."   
(Alonzo, 9)   

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's   
something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for   
me." (Bart, 9)   

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT   
ARE IN LOVE?   
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can   
tell if he's in love." (John, 9)   

"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food   
will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad,   
8)   

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on   
fire. They like to order those because it's just like how   
their hearts are...on fire." (Christine, 9)   

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU"   
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I   
hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)   

HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS   
"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get   
the best of you." (Doug, 7)   

"It might help to watch soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)   

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?   
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over   
you. That's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)   

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE   
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work."   
(Tom, 7)   

"Don't forget your wife's name...That will mess up the love."   
(Roger, 8)   

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you   
never take out the trash." (Randy, 8)   

===================================================================

>-->FUN Places To Net Visit:

>From The Mouthpiece:

GLOBAL RICH LIST   
"Every year we gaze enviously at the lists of the richest   
people in world. Wondering what it would be like to have   
that sort of cash. But where would you sit on one of those   
lists? Here’s your chance to find out." Thanks to John for   
the site!   
http://www.globalrichlist.com/   

CELEBRITY LOVECHILD QUIZ   
This site has merged together the faces of 20 random   
celebrity pairs to discover what their illegitimate off-   
spring may look like. Can you guess the parents of these   
morphed creatures?   
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/ashen1/ashen/cartoon/morph.html   

U.S. CITIZENSHIP TEST   
Can you pass a U.S. citizenship test? This VoteBook Citizen-   
ship Test is based on an actual test administered by the   
U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service. See if your   
memory, knowledge and patriotism still hold up by taking   
this version of the real test.   
http://www.herald-sun.com/votebook/citizenship/citstart.html   

HIDDEN LIVES   
This fascinating site is an insight into some of the forgot-   
ten lives of the past century, as well as into the lives of   
those who cared for them. Over 150 case files, still kept   
anonymous, from Victorian and Edwardian times, are found   
here.   
http://www.hiddenlives.org.uk/   

-<>-

>From Linky&Dinky:

"WOW! Did you SEE that?"  PARACHUTING PiX!
Just click to move on, it never ends,
and I'd say about 85% of them are, quite
literally, awesome.
http://www.joejennings.com/slide2.htm

HOOKED ON DVDs
All the new DVDs come out on Tuesdays --
What's coming out this Tuesday? 
Next Tuesday? The Tuesday after that?
Three Tuesdays from now? 4? 5? 6? 7?
http://www.comingsoon.net/dvd/index.php
 
-<>-

>From LynnLynn's Links:

Sandy w/Your Friendship
http://www.sandysworldonline.com/special_friendship.html

AngelOh w/Every Morning http://www.angel9oh7.com/sseverymorn.html

Carolyn w/My Sweet Anna
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/Misc/MySweetAnna.html

Gun Owners of America
http://www.gunowners.org/

Alfred Hitchcock - The Master of Suspense
http://hitchcock.tv/Hitchcock.html

Organizing, Organize, Clutter, Organising, Get Organized
http://lifeorganizers.com/

Games
http://server1.billsgames.com/hangman/

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, 
send a blank e-mail to 
LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

================================================================

>-->Quotes & Thunkers:

"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question   
I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend   
their weekends with?" --Rita Rudner   

"While getting dressed one morning, I decided I have been   
spending waaaaay too much time on the computer, when I   
caught myself checking the lower right corner of my make-   
up mirror to see what time it was." --Unknown   

"The Supreme Court has ruled that medicinal marijuana use is   
illegal. That ought to teach those people to come down with   
cancer!"   
--Jay Leno   

"It was announced that Ted Koppel will retire from "Nightline"   
this year after his contract expires. It’s now official - I   
will be the man with the dorkiest hair on TV."   
--Conan O'Brien   

"The paper back version of President Clinton's book came out   
and in it Clinton admits that the hard cover version may have   
been to long. Yeah Clinton admits his mistake in a new 200   
page introduction."   
--Conan O'Brien   

"Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith has some competition this   
weekend. You know, as soon as the movie came out, it was up   
on a website and available for download. But the FBI and   
Department of Homeland Security put a stop to that. Glad to   
see the Department of Homeland Security involved in this. I   
guess we're done worrying about that whole terrorism thing.   
We wouldn't want Osama downloading Miss Congeniality 2."   
--Jimmy Kimmel   

"President Bush delivered the commencement address at the   
Naval Academy. This appearance at the Naval Academy was   
historic for President Bush. For the first time he was on a   
military base and people could actually remember him being   
there."   
--Jay Leno   

"It’s summer time and getting hotter. It’s so hot that today   
on my lunch break I took a walk through the park and saw a   
squirrel with an oven mitt on its nuts."   
--David Letterman   

"I took my parents back to the airport today. They're flying   
home tomorrow." --Margaret Smith   

"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-   
lifts until my ears meet." --Rita Rudner   

"This guy told me he thought I was attractive, and when I   
get a nice compliment I like to take it in, swish it around   
in my brain... until it becomes an insult." --Sheila Wenz   

Success doesn't come to you…you go to it. -- Marva Collins

The big shots are only the little shots who keep shooting. 
-- Christopher Morley

>Updated FUN STUFF URLS -  Wow Baby :)Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
<a href="http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html"> FUN URLS</a>
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice

You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair.
We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with
all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806

************************************************************************
-->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)

Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
<a href="http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html">Home Recipes</a>

>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
<a href="mailto:bcrsystems@earthlink.net?Subject=RECIPE_FOR_YOU"> Share
A Recipe</a>
************************************************************************
>TO SUBSCRIBE:
a href="http://tinyurl.com/2vrfzv">This Weeks regular Shangy emails</a>
************************************************************************
-->Want to ADVERTISE in The Shangy FUN Listt Publication?

>To ADVERTISE:
<a href=" mailto:bcrsystems@earthlink.net?Subject=Ads?"> Advertise</a>
************************************************************************
-->Missed Any of These Teachings? 'BABES INN CHRIST','IN The Beginning',
 'Crossing The Line','NEVER Give Up', 'FEAR - Feeling Kind Of Buggy',
'HAUNTINGS', 'Christianity And The Renewed Mind', or 'Curse Of The Law'
--BE SURE TO Tell me which one you want or  you'll get them all :)

>For a Lesson:
<a href="mailto:bcrsystems@earthlink.net?Subject=TEACH_ME"> Teaching</a>
************************************************************************