Things You Might Not Know And More... :) Shangy!
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================
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"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
Y\ /Y
| \ _ / |
_____ | =(_)= |
,-~" "~-. ,-~\/^ ^\/~-.
,^ ___ ___ ^. ,^ ___ ___ ^.
/ .^ ^. .^ ^. \ / .^ ^. .^ ^. \
Y l O! l O! Y Y lo ! lo ! Y
l_ `.___.' `.___.' _[ l_ `.___.' `.___.' _[
l^~"-------------"~^I l^~"-------------"~^I
!\, ,/! ! !
\ ~-.,_______,.-~ / \ /
^. .^ ^. .^ -Row
"-.._____.,-" "-.._____.,-"
->Mr&MrsPacman<-
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~*
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If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel,
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================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
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-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This scorching hot new page is from my daughter Tammy and our
friend Cloie. If you are like me, you weren't aware of this
outreach program by various police departments to children in
their city. It is pretty cool and will give you plenty of
smiles for your day. Be sure to check out the videos here too!
_.-.
,'/ //\
/// // /)
/// // //|
/// // ///
/// // ///
(`: // ///
`;`: ///
/ /:`:/
/ / `'
/ /
(_/ hh
Cops For Kids
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/copsforkids.html
---
...I love this! So much fun! Thanks Ladies!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
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Blonde goes into the furnishing store.
Blonde to the salesman: "Have you got pink curtains?"
Salesman: "Yes mam what size?"
Blonde: "17 inches long please."
Salesman: "17 inches long. What room are they for?"
Blonde: "They're for my PC monitor."
Salesman: "Monitors don't have curtains?"
Blonde: "Hello-o-o, I've got Windows!"
-<>-
Jimmy's English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very
best of his pupils. So it was only to be expected that he would
get furious when Little Jimmy handed in a poor paper.
"This is the worst essay it has ever been my misfortune to read,"
ranted the teacher. "It has too many mistakes. I can't understand
how one person would have made all these mistakes."
"One person didn't," replied Little Jimmy defensively. "My father
helped me."
-<>-
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>Random Thoughts...
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese -
think about this one.
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
I almost had a psychic boyfriend but he left me before we met.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
I tried snorting Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
July 27 is Take Your Houseplants for a Walk, Take Your Pants for
a Walk Day and Walk on Stilts Day
July 28 is National Milk Chocolate Day
July 29 is International Tiger Day, National Chicken Wing Day and
National Lasagna Day
July 30 is National Cheesecake Day, Father-in-Law Day and
International Day of Friendship
July 31 is Eid-Ul-Adha, Mutt's Day, National Avocado Day and
System Administrator Appreciation Day
August 1 is Campfire Day, International Hangover Day, National
Girlfriends Day, National Mahjong Day, National Mountain Climbing
Day, National Mustard Day and National Raspberry Cream Pie Day
August 2 is Friendship Day, International Forgiveness Day, National
Ice Cream Sandwich Day and Sisters Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
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>Rain in Arizona
A visitor once asked, "Does it ever rain in Arizona?"
A rancher quickly answered, "Yes, it does. Do you remember in the
Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?"
The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood."
"Well," the rancher puffed up, "We got about two and a half inches
of that."
-<>-
>Being Civilized
Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's
annoyance. "Teddy," he called, "how many more times do I have I
to tell you to come downstairs quietly? Now, go back upstairs and
come down like a civilized human being."
There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.
"That's better," said his father, "now in future will you always
come down stairs like that."
"OK," said Teddy. "I slid down the railing."
-<>-
>Colorful Meal
Over dinner, I explained the health benefits of a colorful meal to
my family. "The more colors, the more variety of nutrients," I
told them. Pointing to our food, I asked, "How many different
colors do you see?"
"Six," volunteered my daughter. "Seven if you count the burned parts."
-<>-
>Teenage Communication
Our 15-year-old son asked me to drive him to his friend's house.
Once we were in the car and several minutes had passed in silence,
I attempted to open the lines of communication.
"Did you have a nice day at school?"
"Yep."
"Any homework to do?"
"Nope."
"You got your hair cut"
"Yep."
"This is a monosyllabic conversation isn't it?"
"Yep."
"You do know what monosyllabic means?"
"Yep."
"Well, tell me." Aha, I thought, now he has to give me a
dictionary explanation.
With a mischievous grin and a sly look at me, he replied, "One."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
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jgs (___|___)
^^^ ^^^
>SMILES
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders
were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker
on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated
in the back.
The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker
on the windshield."
The general said, "Drive on!"
The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have
orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm
new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
----------
A man phones a lawyer and asks, "How much would you charge for
just answering three simple questions?"
The lawyer replies, "A thousand dollars."
"A thousand dollars!" exclaims the man. "That's very expensive,
isn't it?"
"It certainly is," says the lawyer. "Now, what's your third
question?"
----------
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Three Alabama boys go down to Mexico one night and get drunk and
wake up in jail.
They found out that they are to be executed for their crimes but
none of them can remember what they have done.
The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if
he has any last words.
He says, "I am from the Samford School of Divinity and I believe
in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the
innocent."
They throw the switch and nothing happens, so they figure God must
not want this guy to die, and they let him go.
The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. "I am from
the University of Alabama School of Law and I believe in the
eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the
innocent."
The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.
They figure that the law is on this guy's side and let him go.
The last one is strapped in and says, "Well I'm an Auburn
University Electrical Engineer, and I'll tell you right now you'll
never electrocute anybody if you don't connect those two wires."
----------
Three girls are walking through the desert, a blonde, a red head
and a brunette, come across a genie.
They ask the genie if they can have something to drink.
The genie tells them to go down the slide and yell what drink they
want and then they will land in a pool of it.
The red head goes down and yells "soda!!!!", so she lands in a pool
of soda.
The brunette goes down and yells "lemonade!!!!!!", so she lands in
a pool of lemonade.
The Blonde goes down and yells "weeee!!!!!!!!!"...........
----------
While filling a form in class, Peter came across the column
'mother-tongue'.
Not knowing what it meant, he wrote 'Four inches long'.
--------
My husband and I took our two-year-old daughter to the home-
improvement store.
Madison got tired of walking, so my husband let her ride on his
shoulders.
As he walked, Madison began pulling his hair.
Although he asked her to stop several times, she kept on.
Getting annoyed, he scolded, "Madison! Stop that!"
"But, Daddy," she replied, "I'm just trying to get my gum back."
----------
One day, Mom was cleaning junior's room, and in the closet she
found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her.
She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to
him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word.
She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think we should spank
him."
----------
Maggie rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and
all strung out.
She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up
this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair
all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my
eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like
look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly
says, "Well, I can tell you one thing . . . there's nothing wrong
with your eyesight."
----------
The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice
willing to work long, hard hours.
He instructed the boy, "When I take the shoe out of the fire,
I'll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the
hammer."
The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he's the new
village blacksmith.
----------
Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared
that porridge oatmeal would now be his cereal of choice. But
after eating his first bowl, he told my sister, "I hope I
develop a taste for the stuff. It goes down real rough."
"Well," she asked, "how long did you cook it?"
"You're supposed to cook it?" he said.
----------
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While golfing, a senior gentleman in The Villages accidentally
overturned his golf cart late one afternoon. A very attractive,
young, female golfer, who lives in a villa on the golf course,
heard the noise and called out, "Are you OK?"
"I'm OK, thanks," he replied, as he pulled himself out of the
twisted cart.
She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you
get the cart up later."
The old guy noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open,
revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.
"That's mighty nice of you," he answered, "but I don't think my
wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now!" she insisted.
She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. He was weak. "Well,
OK," he finally agreed.
After a couple of Scotch and sodas, he thanked her and said, "I
feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really
upset. So I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall
slightly more open. "Stay for a while. Your wife won't know
anything. By the way, where is she?"
He replied, "Still under the cart, I suppose."
-------
Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my
phone. In a sleepy, grumpy voice, I said hello. The party on the
other end paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a
lengthy speech.
"Mom, this is Susan, and I'm sorry I woke you up, but I had to
call because I'm going to be a little late getting home. See,
Dad's car has a flat, but it's not my fault. Honest! I don't know
what happened. The tire just went flat while we were inside the
theater. Please don't be mad, okay?"
Since I don't have any daughters, I knew the person had misdialed.
"I'm sorry, dear," I replied, "but you've reached the wrong number.
I don't have a daughter named Susan."
"Gosh, Mom," came the young woman's voice, "I didn't think you'd
be this mad."
----
...TeeHee! Oh gee! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>--->From Our Friend Cloie :)
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>LOL.
By Clara Wersterfer
Babies should be taught the alphabet as early as possible, even
while still in the uterus. It's the most important thing they will
learn in order to cope with today's life style.
Forget the history, English grammar, spelling, math, penmanship or
algebra. Just make sure they learn the alphabet and how to use a
cell phone and a computer. This will leave them more time for music,
sports, driving lessons, video games, dancing and memorizing the
abbreviations needed for text messaging.
EVERY thing is brief form.
The other day my driver's license came due for renewal. I got in my
SUV, checked my GPS for directions to the DMV to renew my D/L or ID.
My MD's office was in route, so I took the ramp to ISH 35. I wanted
to stop by about my tests.
Talked to the RN who got the PA to tell me the results of my EKG,
MRI, and CBC. The PA said I had to take some meds so gave me an RX.
Back in the SUV, I heard the signal on my phone for a message. It
was from my son: "Hi Ma, gl on tsts @md. b lte 2 nite Mb 7 r 8. Cul
hagd. (Hi Mother, good luck on test at the doctor's. I will be late
tonight, might be 7 or 8 o'clock. See you later. Have a good day.)
I replied, "Dn't b 2 lte. ant tess cmng 4 din. lu (Don't be too
late. Aunt Tess is coming for dinner. Love you)
I popped in a CD and drove to the DMV. A mile down the road there
was a car accident. Everything seemed under control as the SHP, FD
and EMS were on the job. Had to make one more stop before going
home. Needed money from the ATM at FCU where we banked.
I don't know where all this stuff got started using abbreviations
instead of words. Maybe FDR started it with WPA or FBI. Could have
been the PTA. Who knows? It surely seems to be here to stay and
happily growing.
I'm just glad to have enjoyed working puzzles and breaking codes all
my life or I would not have a place in this world.
It's easy to understand why the kids do not need all that extra
learning baggage to carry around in their heads. Who cares about
history or English grammar? They don't intend to write anything
they can abbreviate and type.
Spelling? That's a bad word. Too many letters. English literature
or history may be of interest if someone makes a movie of it, but
grammar? She's the mother of your father.
Heck, they already speak another language understood only by them.
If you can't beat them, join them, I say.
TTYL. HAG8D TA4N. (Talk to you later. Have a great day. That's all
for now) CBW LOL
JUST SO YOU KNOW
Here is a list of some of the more popular abbreviations
(There are thousands!)
brb be right back or bathroom break
btw by the way
ttyl talk to you later
lol laughing out loud
Imo in my opinion
jk just kidding
omgyg2bk oh my G, you got to be kidding
b/c because
ne1 anyone
Here is a MUCH longer list if you are ever lost in cyberspace:
http://www.netlingo.com/acronyms.php
---
...LOL! A Great classic! Thanks Cloie!
I kept getting an email that I had no clue what the abbreviation
for it was - it always started out - ICYMI:
So, I looked it up - and as always it was a duh! HaHa!
ICYMI - In Case You Missed It
=========================================================
>-->From HandyHints:
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Summer and winter are the best times to use curtains as a
natural heating/cooling system.
Highly reflective blinds can reduce heat gain by around 45
percent during summer. The opposite applies in winter, when
you should use window treatments to trap heat in.
Most conventional draperies can reduce heat loss from a
warm room up to 10 percent.
* Minimize indoor heat: run the dryer and dishwasher at
night on hot days and let your dishes air dry. Avoid heat-
generating incandescent lighting and use a microwave,
toaster oven or outdoor grill instead of the oven. It's
best to avoid the use of major appliances between 2 and 8
p.m.
* Our hair suffers a lot during the summer. Constant heat,
sun damage and chlorine takes a toll on our hair and can
leave it feeling limp and dull after the holidays. If
you're planning on swimming a lot during the summer, it
is advisable to use anti-chlorine shampoo and conditioner
to help neutralize the chlorine from your hair. If
possible, minimize the use of hairdryers, straighteners
and other heating products. Towel dry your hair, apply a
handful of mouse and revel in beachy summer waves.
* Exfoliating your skin is key in the summer months.
Summer means an increase of dead skin cells so it is
important to exfoliate your skin to keep it smooth and
silky. You don't need to buy any expensive products to
achieve that summer glow; simply use a loafer for a light
scrub.
Or make your own exfoliation lotion using a handful of
oatmeal, milk and yogurt.
* Keep hydrated
During the hot summer months, heat and sweat can leave
your body dehydrated. A lack of water is harmful to your
body and can also make you crave food when you're not
actually hungry. It is incredibly important to keep
yourself hydrated by drinking six or eight glasses of water
a day.
But remember; it is possible to overhydrate. Drinking too
much water can effect certain electrolytes like sodium,
potassium, chloride, and magnesium in our bloodstream.
Occasionally try adding some low calorific flavoring to
water such as a piece of fruit, or opt for healthy
alternatives like green tea or coconut water.
* Keep refreshed with yummy smoothies during the hot summer
months!
Fruit smoothies are a great way to get your five-a-day and
keep refreshed throughout the summer, but watch out for
smoothies made with frozen yogurts or ice cream as they
can be extremely calorific.
A healthy smoothie should be made with fruit, juice, low
fat-yogurt and ice. Use any fruit you might have or have
kept in the freezer, and throw it all in a blender to make
a perfect summer drink.
-<>-
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itz
Closets are dust reservoirs, full of tiny fibers from
clothes, towels and bedding. Every time you open the door,
you whip up an invisible dust storm. You cant prevent
clothes from shedding fibers, but you can make closets
easier to keep clean and vastly cut down on dust.
Box or bag items on shelves. Clear plastic containers are
best, they lock fibers in and dust out and let you see
what's inside. When you dust, theyre easy to pull off the
shelves and wipe clean.
Enclose the clothes you rarely wear. Those coats you wear
only in winter shed fibers year-round. Slip garment bags
or large garbage bags over them. They help to contain
fibers and keep the clothes themselves from becoming coated
with dust.
Keep closet floors clear. If the floor is cluttered,
chances are you'll just bypass it while vacuuming. But a
wide-open floor adds only a few seconds to the vacuuming
chore. And a wire shelf lets you clear all those shoes
off the floor without losing storage space.
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
A Long List Of Trump Accomplishments by year
https://tinyurl.com/y4u8vzba
How the U.S. Military Made the T-Shirt the Most Popular Garment in
the World
https://tinyurl.com/yxr47tsh
Watters' World 07/25/20 Full Show: The Left's Losing
https://www.bitchute.com/video/7QGPJ2ZvxSeZ/
New poll finds many feel the cost of free speech is too high to
actually speak
https://tinyurl.com/yymn9889
Oakland mayor’s home vandalized over vote to not defund the police
https://tinyurl.com/y64yne6q
Mike Ditka: Athletes Disrespect National Anthem, Get Out
https://tinyurl.com/yy5xrax5
First Federal Arrests in Chicago, ‘Operation Legend’
https://tinyurl.com/y6adqtgc
Black Lives Matter Protesters Attack Christian Church
https://tinyurl.com/y3t8ty73
Soros Funnels Another Quarter-Billion Into Black Lives Matter
With America burning and teetering on the brink of socialism
leftist Hungarian billionaire George Soros announced he was
donating an additional $220 million to the “Black Lives Matter
movement,” with much of the money going into efforts to control
2020 voting systems.
https://tinyurl.com/yxdwchrb
SF Giants Pitcher Refuses To Kneel Before BLM: “I’m A Christian”
https://tinyurl.com/y32g9ug4
This Virginia Photographer’s Latest Move Could Actually Defeat the
Homosexual Agenda, Planned Parenthood Attack Ads Calls Hispanic
Senator a “Dirty Mexican” and More News:
https://www.christianlifedaily.com/
Want a Big Mac? Good luck getting one without a face covering as
McDonald's joins the face-mask movement - And More
https://reliablenewsnow.com/
Westwing News: If You Climb on Top of and Beat an Innocent
Stranger's Car, You're a Violent Criminal Who Deserves Prison
https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/
WhiteHouseNews:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/
Latest Newsmax
https://www.newsmax.com/t/newsmax
Latest OAN Newsroom:
https://www.oann.com/category/newsroom/
Latest From AFA:
http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw
Students For Life
https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6
Latest From OperationRescue:
http://www.operationrescue.org/
Latest Product Alert:
http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text
Latest Health Alert:
http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text
Click to Give Free
https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
A Wisconsin man proved his devotion as a friend by making
good on a 28-year-old handshake promise and splitting his
$22 million Powerball jackpot with his longtime buddy.
Thomas Cook told Wisconsin Lottery officials that learning
the Powerball ticket he bought from Synergy Coop in
Menomonie was a $22 million winner made him quickly recall
a deal he made with friend Joseph Feeney in 1992.
Cook said the two men shook hands and agreed that if either
of them ever won a Powerball jackpot, they would split the
winnings.
"He called me and I said 'are you jerking my bobber?'"
Feeney recalled of being told the news.
Cook and Feeney, who took the lump sum option for their
payouts, each received about $5.7 million after federal and
state taxes.
Cook said the money inspired him to put in his two weeks
notice and retire. He and Feeney, who had already retired
previously, said the money will allow them to spend more
time with their families.
"We can pursue what we feel comfortable with," Cook said.
"I can't think of a better way to retire."
-<>-
Is there anything more satisfying than finding out you were
right all along about a property dispute you were having
with a neighbor you hate? Yes, there is. And that is when
you get to cut that neighbor's garage in half with a
Sawzall.
Maine resident Gabriel Brawn used a land surveyor's
demarcation between the two lots as a guide to remove the
half of the building sitting on his land when a dispute
over the boundary line boiled over.
The Brawns' relationship with their neighbors was fine
until the former owner died. The deceased homeowner's wife,
Theresa Laythe-Ritter, took over sole ownership of the
property and while she became an infrequent resident, Brawn
said relations have been strained with others who have
rented or otherwise frequented the building since.
The property-line dispute gained momentum when the Brawns
put down a load of wood chips near the previously
established boundary. The Ritter's youngest son Blake soon
planted a stake in the ground where the chips had been
placed and said, "'This is our property, get your stuff off
it,'" the Brawns claim. So they called a land surveyor.
The surveyor determined that the dividing line between the
properties was in the center of the driveway and right
through the middle of the garage.
The next day, Gabriel Brawn took a Sawzall and cut down the
half of the garage that was on his family's property and
left the remains on the other side of the surveyor's line.
The Brawns have installed a fence with cameras on their
side of the driveway. "We're putting up a fence. Fences
make good neighbors," Tracy Brawn said. "That's what we've
learned from this."
*--- Man goes water skiing on 11-foot stilts ---*
A Minnesota man took his love of water skiing to new heights
when he went out on a lake wearing 11-foot stilts. Chris
Dens, 30, of Brainerd, said he was inspired to attempt the
feat after seeing a video of Glenn Sperry water skiing on
8-foot stilts, and Sperry, who holds the current record
after skiing on 10.5-foot stilts, corresponded with him and
offered some tips when he set out to take on the record.
Dens said he started on 3.5-foot stilts and worked his way
up to 6.5-foot stilts before deciding to attempt his run on
11-foot stilts. The skier, a founding member of the Brainerd
Ski Loons Water Ski Show Team, said he is planning to make
stilt skiing a part of next summer's ski shows.
*--- Stolen 300-pound pig statue returned --- *
The owners of an Oklahoma restaurant said a 300-pound pig
statue stolen from outside the eatery has returned weeks
later -- albeit missing an ear. Wayne Perotka, co-owner of
Guyutes Restaurant in Oklahoma City, said workers returned
to the eatery after the Fourth of July and discovered the
pig statue, affectionately known as Jezebel, was missing.
"I'm guessing it was a few people or they probably had a
forklift because she's around 300 pounds, she's solid
concrete," Perotka said. The restaurant put out a public
plea for the pig's return, and an anonymous tip last week
led to the pig being dropped off across the street from
the eatery. Jezebel is missing an ear, but is otherwise
intact, the restaurant said.
*- Police find cocaine hidden inside hollow coffee beans -*
Police in Italy said they searched a package addressed to
a fictional mafia boss and discovered it contained 4.5
ounces of cocaine hidden inside hollowed-out coffee beans.
Police said customs officers checked the contents of the
package after they noticed it was addressed to Santino
D'Antonio, a fictional organized crime boss from the movie
John Wick: Chapter 2. Investigators discovered the package
contained more than 500 coffee beans that had been hollowed
out, filled with cocaine, and reassembled with dark brown
tape. Police said a 50-year-old man who attempted to claim
the package at a tobacco shop in Florence was arrested. My
question is - who has the time to hollow out 500 coffee
beans???
*--- FDNY rescues passengers on runaway swan ---*
Firefighters in New York came to the rescue of two people
when their inflatable swan float was carried away by a
fast-moving current and ended up in the path of marine
traffic. The New York City Fire Department said officials
received a report of multiple people in the water near
East 55th Street in Manhattan and an FDNY marine unit
arrived to find two people in a swan float had been swept
away by the swift current. The inflatable swan and its
passengers had ended up in the path of marine traffic, the
FDNY said. The people were safely rescued and were examined
by EMS personnel. They did not require any further medical
attention. "FDNY urges New Yorkers to always take
precautions when swimming or entering the water surrounding
our city," the FDNY said. "Only enter the water where
swimming is permitted and where lifeguards are on duty."
=========================================================
>-->From TheGroaner:
. .
) (
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _(.--.)
{{ { { { { { { { { { { ( '_')
jgs >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>`--'>
>Where Were You?
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided
to play football. During the first half of the game, the big
animals were winning. But during the second half, a centipede
scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game.
When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede,
"Where were you during the first half?"
He replied, "Putting on my shoes!"
-<>-
>It's So Clean!
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one
engages a discussion about a new restaurant.
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one.
"It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are
gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary
that the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm
eating!"
-<>-
>Don't Mime Me
A young lady was a theater major applying for fall semester
classes. At the end of the busy day she goes back to her dorm
and enters in a huff of anger.
"What's wrong, Shelly?" Asks her roommate.
"Well, all the acting classes are filled. I couldn't even get
into Mime class."
"Why not?"
"How should I know? You can't get a word out of those people!"
-<>-
>The Waiting Game:
Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me
about the long delay she always endured. One day, when my
aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on the
scale.
"I need to get your weight today," said the nurse.
Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied: "One hour and
45 minutes!"
-<>-
>Q and A Quickies:
Q: Why did the computer need a jacket?
A: Because it kept freezing.
_..._ ___
.:::::::. `"-._.-''.
, /:::::::::\ ': \ _._
\:-::::::::::::\ :. | /|.-' /:::\
\::::::::\:::::| ': | | / |:::|
`:::::::|:::::\ ': | `\ | __ |\::/\
`-:::-|::::::| ': | .`\ .\_.' `.__/ |
|::::::\ ':. | \ ';:: /.-._ , /
|:::::::| :. / ,`\;:: \'./0) |_.-/
;:::::::| ': | \.`;::. `` | |
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\:::. `:_|.-"""-. \__.-'/::\ |
'::::.:::...:::. '. /:::| |
'::/::::::::::::. '-.__.:::::| |
|::::::::::::\::..../::::::| /
|:::::::::::::|::::/::::::://
\:::::::::::::|'::/::::::::/
/\::::::::::::/ /:::::::/:|
|::';:::::::::/ |::::::/::;
|:::/`-:::::;;-._ |:::::/::/
|:::| `-::::\ `|::::/::/
jgs |:::| \:::\ \:::/::/
/:::/ \:::\ \:/\:/
(_::/ \:::;__ \\_\\___
(_:/ \::):):)\:::):):)
`" `""""` `""""""`
Q: What did the mother skunk say to her teenage skunk?
A: Don't stink and drive.
Q: How do two psychiatrists greet each other?
A: You are fine, how am I?
Q: How do locomotives hear?
A: Through the engineers.
Q: Why is tennis such a loud game?
A: Because each player raises a racquet.
.-.
(o.o)
|=|
__|__
//.=|=.\\
// .=|=. \\
\\ .=|=. //
\\(_=_)//
(:| |:)
|| ||
() ()
|| ||
|| ||
l42 ==' '==
Q: What do you say to a skeleton going on vacation?
A: Bone voyage!
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
_____
/ \
(____/\ )
|___ U?(____
_\L. | \ ___
/ /"""\ /.-' | |\ |
( / _/u | \___|_)_|
\| \\ / / \_(___ __)
| \\ / / | | |
| ) _/ / ) | |
_\__/.-' /___( | | Contemplation or Constipation ?
_/ __________/ \ | |
// / ( ) | |
( \__|___\ \______ /__|____|
\ (___\ |______)_/
\ |\ \ \ /
\ | \__ ) )___/
\ \ )/ /__( -Michael Reeung-
___ | /_//___| \_________
_/ ( / OUuuu \
`----'(____________)
As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male
habits have really begun to get on my nerves. One day, I
emerged from the bathroom completely exasperated when I
bumped into my husband.
"What is it with guys that they won't replace the toilet
paper?!" I raged.
"I know," he said, nodding in agreement. "I noticed that
when I was in there earlier."
-<>-
_...._
.'.o' o.'.
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||
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jgs ||
\/
A man picks up his golf-indifferent girlfriend after he has
come from the links. While he's driving the tees in his
pocket fall out. His girlfriend asks, "Harry, what are those
things that just fell out of your pockets?"
"Oh, those are called tees. I put my balls on them when I'm
driving."
"Oh, well. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."
-<>-
Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to
my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said
that men are not all like this all the time.
"Nonsense," I said, inconsolable. "Men are good for only
one thing!"
"Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have
to parallel park?"
-<>-
Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But
the initials really have been changed to stand for "What
would Jesus drive?"
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old
Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve
out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a
Geo. The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies
with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses'
followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the
Ram's horn sounds a long blast."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't
like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St.
John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not
speak of my own Accord..."
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as
evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of
Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."
Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its
muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."
And, following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a
Honda... "The Apostles were in one Accord."
-<>-
A man went to see his doctor to go over his blood work
results. As soon as he entered the office, the doctor
said to him, "I just looked at your results. You're lucky
that you came in to see me today..."
The man suddenly became nervous and asked, "Why? What's
wrong with my blood work?"
"Oh nothing! It's just that I'll be out of the office
tomorrow," replied the doctor.
-<>-
My uncle was giving me the grand tour of his house. The
bathrooms had excessively mirrored walls but his wife
preferred not to look at herself in such a compromising
position. She even went so far as to place a "modesty
plant" so that it obscured the view.
Now I don't think there is anything wrong with mirrored
walls in the bathroom. I told my uncle: "You should be
able to sit and reflect."
=========================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
>Quotes
I think Bill Gates is so rich because he got his wish when he
said, "I wish I had a nickel for every time this PC rebooted!"
-- Chris Caswell
He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really
cooperating with it.
-- Henry David Thoreau
-<>-
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\ \ `-' /| `|\ `-' / /
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_______________________---------
---------_____________-----
gpyy_________-------------______
>Being Blonde...
A man returns home from work and finds his blonde wife overjoyed.
"Honey, I have some really great news I'm pregnant!"
"That's great!" the man replied.
Then she said, "Oh, wait, there's more. We are going to have
twins! Can you believe it?"
The man, in fact, couldn't believe it. "How could you know so
soon?" he asked.
"Well", she said proudly, "I bought the twin-pack home pregnancy
test and both tests came out positive!"
-<>-
|..| ? ?
c >| ?
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>Things You Might Not Know...
Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks
the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6
feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting
from flushing the toilet.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for
blood plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
__...----..
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Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age
or older.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first
flight.
______
_\ _~-\___
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\_____\___________________,-~~~~~~~`-.._
/ o O o o o o O O o o o o o o O o |\_
`~-.__ ___..----.. )
`---~~\___________/------------`````
= ===(_________D
-Roland
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive
from each salad served in first-class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
All the planets in the Solar System orbit the Sun in an
anticlockwise direction as viewed from above Earth's north pole.
Most planets also rotate on their axes in an anti-clockwise
direction, but Venus rotates clockwise in retrograde rotation
once every 243 Earth days—the slowest rotation of any planet.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the
morning.
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of
the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.
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Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for
dating are already married.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs.
A duck's quack does not echo is a myth - Acoustics professor
proves ducks do echo. Scientists have solved one of the acoustic
world's riddles. It is a myth that a duck's quack has no echo.
But they will also add, a trifle sheepishly, that the echo of a
duck's quack is very difficult to hear.
The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days
when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled
on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight
staircases.
Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name
contains all the letters from the word "criminal."
The second? William Jefferson Clinton.
And, the best for last.....
___-------___
_-~~ ~~-_
_-~ /~-_
/^\__/^\ /~ \ / \
/| O|| O| / \_______________/ \
| |___||__| / / \ \
| \ / / \ \
| (_______) /______/ \_________ \
| / / \ / \
\ \^\\ \ / \ /
\ || \______________/ _-_ //\__//
\ ||------_-~~-_ ------------- \ --/~ ~\ || __/
~-----||====/~ |==================| |/~~~~~
(_(__/ ./ / \_\ \.
(_(___/ -jurcy- \_____)_)
Turtles can breathe through their butts. No kidding!
Technically the term is cloacal respiration, and it's not so much
breathing as just diffusing oxygen in and carbon dioxide out, but
the fact remains: when turtles hibernate, their main source of
oxygen is through their butt.
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Thoughts Into Action 10!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action10.html
Dogs And Little ones!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogslittleones.html
Kid Lessons!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kidlessons.html
Best Friends!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/bestfriends.html
God Is Like...-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/godislike.html
Miracle Baby!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/smellofrain.html
Mini Baby Art!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/baby.html
Dreamy Ladies!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dreamy.html
Amazing Bonsai Forests!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bonsai.html
World's Best Treehouses!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/treehouses2.html
Germany's Water Bridge!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wbridge.html
Cost Of A Child!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/costofchild.html
Kids Being Kids!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kids.html
Parenting No-No's!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting.html
God's Little Love Notes!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/notes.html
Rules For Raising Children!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rulesforchildren.html
Artistic Coffee Mugs!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coffeemugs.html
World's Best Cinemas!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cinemas.html
Adorable Animal Selfies!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalselfies.html
Humorous Bumper Stickers!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bumperstickers.html
Geography Of Women Vs Men!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womenvsmen.html
Summer Index!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/summerindex.html
-<>-
NoNoNoNoYes #10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHpt_dZj9mM
Funniest Animals ?? - Best Of The 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nE8ifrCB2U
Crazy scary car crashes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPj7lUQOre8
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
The Sandou Trio performs the Russian Bar act blindfolded at
America's Got Talent - The Champions 2020.
https://youtu.be/lSVQFl8ea7U
Nokulunga Buthelezi - the star of the musical 'Africa! Africa!' -
has an amazing talent for twisting into impossible positions.
https://youtu.be/Qz4bX9fJ1FQ
---
...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseAu!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Cloie :)
Just click on the year & listen to your favorite English songs from
1951 to 2015.
http://thenostalgiamachine.com
---
...A fun One! Thanks Cloie!
NFL To Play "BLACK NATIONAL ANTHEM" Before National Anthem
https://youtu.be/K8JGNChUVzk
---
...I never heard these two before! Smart Dudes! Thanks Cloie!
Revising...
>From our Friend Melody :)
The Rapture - The Complete Movie - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIyXRPbN1AM
---
...It's coming... Good one! Thanks Melody!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda :)
Have you ever seen a Dog climb down a Ladder
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=linWkUXisI4
---
...Wowsers! Thanks Linda!
Another One!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9e4TVXKUjc
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Expedia released their rankings of the most annoying
drivers in America. For the 15th year in a row, the most
annoying driver on the road is every driver but you. The
survey says the least popular passengers are backseat
drivers. I would have said carjackers." -Jimmy Kimmel
"A restaurant in China forces customers to solve complex
math problems before they can order their meal. The
restaurant has no plans to expand to the United States."
-Conan O'Brien
"New documents reveal that when Vincent Van Gogh cut off
his ear, the woman he sent it to was a cleaner, not a
prostitute as previously thought. You know, because
otherwise it would have been weird." -Jimmy Fallon
"Tomorrow is National Tequila Day. While the day after
that is National 'Janice From HR Wants to See You in Her
Office' Day." -Jimmy Fallon
"It's Shark Week. The Discovery Channel gets big ratings
every year for this. Meanwhile, do you know how many
people are killed by sharks every year? I looked this up
today. Five. There are five shark fatalities per year in
the world. We are deathly afraid of an animal that kills
fewer people than Tide pods." -Jimmy Kimmel
"A California town recently opened a drive-thru marijuana
dispensary, or as they're more commonly known, a Taco Bell."
-Seth Meyers
"The Federal Communications Commission has had another
terrible idea. The FCC is considering a plan that would
require U.S. citizens to pay $225 to make a complaint.
So if you're mad about how high your cable bill is, soon
you can pay the government $225 to complain about it.
Boy, they really have their fingers on our pulse, don't
they?" -Jimmy Kimmel
"A new study found that a growing number of parents regret
the name they gave their baby. They actually have a name
for those parents: 'celebrities.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"In Michigan, a man was too drunk to drive, so he had his
9-year-old daughter drive their van for him. Yeah. As he
was being arrested, he told the girl, 'I'm going to need
a lawyer. Go get your little brother.'" -Conan O'Brien
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy!
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http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
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-->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40
words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you
the same message also put up for all web site readers.
Email me to secure dates.
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-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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