Three Lunatics, Money Saving Tips And More... :) Shangy!
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"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
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-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~*
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================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
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-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
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the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
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================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
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_ _,' ___7 ) |
(_)(_`__(_,---' |
( _( ) |
/ /_| |________|
__/__/__|__|_________)
_________(__,_|)/ (__)|/____\(_______________ mic
If you didn't get our last week's group Inspirations email, or
wound up with 4 copies of it, don't feel bad. The Yahoo robot
refused to send me a copy of it even though I sent it out to
the group twice on Thursday and twice on Friday!
You can always read our regular emails though, no matter how
picky the Yahoo robot gets because I upload them to my
www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com site here:
Shangy Fun List
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
This
Weeks regular Shangy emails
Have A Fun Christ Filled Day :)
-<>-
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This too hot to handle new page is from our friend Karen.
It gives us a wonderful mix of God's warm romantic sunsets
on an ocean beach along with fantastic touches of human
ingenuity and creativity to capture our imagination. Be
sure to check it and the video out here...
.''
._.-.___.' (`\
//( ( `'
'/ )\ ).__. )
' <' `\ ._/'\
` \ \
VK
Driftwood Art 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/driftwoodart2.html
---
...Wow! Amazing artwork! Thanks Karen!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
_,.......____
_.-' / `-._`-.
,' / / `. `.
,' ___ / _ / __`. `.
/ / \ / (_) / / / \ \
: / /) / / __ / / / L L
| / __,' / / / / / / | |
| / / / / / / / /___ | |
: /_/ / /_/ / /_____/ F F
\ / / / /
`. / / ,' ,'
`./ / _,'_,'
cjr `-.__/______,.;:.-'
>New drugs on the market
St. Mom's Wort – Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
Empty Nestrogen – Highly effective suppository that eliminates
melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as
teenagers and how you couldn't wait til they moved out.
Peptobimbo – Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups
swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases
intelligence, and improves flirting.
Dumerol – When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low
I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.
Flipitor – Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling
road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
Antiboyotics – When administered to teenage girls, is highly
effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and
reducing money spent on make-up.
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
August 17 is National Thrift Shop Day
August 18 is Bad Poetry Day and World Daffodil Day
August 19 is Aviation Day and National Potato Day
August 20 is National Radio Day and World Mosquito Day
August 21 is National Spumoni Day and Senior Citizen's Day
August 22 is Be an Angel Day and National Tooth Fairy Day
August 23 is Ride the Wind Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
___________
\ /
)_______(
|"""""""|_.-._,.---------.,_.-._
| | | | | | ''-.
| |_| |_ _| |_..-'
|_______| '-' `'---------'` '-'
)"""""""(
/_________\
`'-------'`
.-------------.
jgs/_______________\
>In Court
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by
the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An
intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the
immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate
cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a 'compromising'
position."
"See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded the
jury candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my
husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had
no idea that I could have shot him."
She wasn't selected for the jury.
-<>-
>Jewelry Sale
As I serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the
saleswoman let me know that the store was having a 20% off sale.
"I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something."
she suggested.
"I don't have a girlfriend" I answered.
"No girlfriend?"
"No, my wife won't let me."
-<>-
>Grocery Math
In a grocery store, a cashier held up a small dairy carton and
yelled to a co-worker, "How much is half-and-half?"
Without a moment's hesitation the other cashier replied, "One."
=========================================================
>-->From Mikey'sFunnies:
___
{-) |\
[m,].-"-. /
[][__][__] \(/\__/\)/
[__][__][__][__]~~~~ | |
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[__][__][__][__][__]| /| |
[][__][__][__][__][]| || | ~~~~
ejm [__][__][__][__][__]__,__, \__/
>Applicants
Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room
with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room
and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6
hours and then analyze the situation.
If they are counting the bricks, put them in the accounts
department.
If they are recounting them, put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put
them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put
them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in
operations.
If they are sleeping, put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in
information technology.
If they are sitting idle, put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a
brick has been moved, put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day, put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window, put them on strategic
planning.
And last but not least...
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been
moved, congratulate them and put them in Executive Management.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
.---.
(_---_)
(_/6 6\_)
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`\ /'
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jgs / \ (`--"""-')
/ \ (=-=-=-=-)
`--...___ ___...--' (________)
>SMILES
A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and
left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning,
the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in
a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt
sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed
up to catch her and straighten her up.
Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to
tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once
more brought her back upright. This went on all morning. Later,
the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her
new home.
"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me pass
gas."
----------
Whenever I take my daughters to the bank with me, they enjoy
chatting with the tellers.
One morning we got there early, just as one of the tellers
unlocked the front door.
"Mommy," my three-year-old said, "she's out of her cage!"
----------
A mother took her six-year old daughter to the ballet.
This was the first time the little girl had ever seen a ballet
and she watched wide-eyed as the ballerinas pranced around the
stage on their toes.
When the ballet was over, the mother asked her daughter if she
had any questions.
"Yes, Mommy," the little girl replied, "Wouldn't it be easier if
they just hired taller dancers?"
----------
The car auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity.
Vehicles were classified as either "Running" or "No Start."
On the block was a No Starter. It had a shattered windshield,
two tires were missing, the front bumper sagged, the grille was
cockeyed, the hood was sprung up at an angle, and there were
dings and dents all over the body.
Before he started the bidding, the auctioneer announced the
car's year, make, and model.
Then he read the owner's comments: "Please note -- the radio does
not work."
----------
Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they're
all sentenced to twenty years in solitary confinement.
They're each allowed one thing to bring into the cell with them.
The first guy asks for a big stack of books.
The second guy asks for his wife.
And the third guy asks for two hundred cartons of cigarettes.
At the end of the twenty years, they open up the first guy's cell.
He comes out and says, "I studied so hard. I'm so bright now, I
could be a lawyer. It was terrific."
They open up the second guy's door. He comes out with his wife,
and they've got five new kids. He says. "It was the greatest thing
of my life. My wife and I have never been so close. I have a
beautiful new family. I love it."
They open up the third guy's door, and he's slapping at his
pockets, going "Anybody got a match?"
----------
Old man from the mountain
.`=-._.-=-.-=..-'\
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THREE LUNATICS
1st one says: I am God's messenger.
2nd one contradicts: NO! You're not. I am God's messenger.
3rd one states: You are both mad, I did not send any messengers.
----------
A wife complains, "Our wall clock almost hit my mother on the
head today.
It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."
The husband mumbles, "That clock always was slow."
----------
The census taker rang the doorbell and was quite surprised when
the door was opened by a nude woman.
"Don't be alarmed," she said, "I'm a nudist."
Although somewhat embarrassed, the man proceeded to ask the
routine questions. When his asked, "How many children do you
have?"
The lady replied, "Eighteen."
"Lady," he gasped, "you're not a nudist, you just don't have
time to get dressed!"
----------
An old-time pastor was riding furiously down the road, hurrying
to get to church on time. Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw
him to the ground.
Lying in the dirt, his body wracked with pain, the pastor called
out, All you angels in heaven, help me get up on my horse! With
extraordinary strength, he leaped onto the horses back and fell
off the other side.
From the ground again, he called out, All right, just half of you
angels this time!
----------
One afternoon my wife April rushed out of the house, forgetting
her keys, and found herself locked out. There was nothing she
could do but wait for me to come home. She saw a neighbor who was
outside raking leaves. "You locked yourself out?" he asked.
"Yeah, this is the second time since we moved in. After the first
time we took an extra key and put it in a jar, then stuck it in a
potted plant on the deck.". "So.... what's the problem?" "I took
the plants in for the winter."
----------
A difficult and independent 75-year-old woman liked sitting by
the park feeding the pigeons. One day she brought with her a
whole loaf of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little
by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. She sat
there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban
neighborhood. Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on
her parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food
on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere when there are
a lot of people starving in Africa. She replied in crazed anger
and without hesitation, "Well, gee, I can't throw that far!"
----------
A man sees another leaning against the wall of a large building.
The second man is puffing away, one cigarette after another.
The nonsmoker says, "Sir, I couldn't help noticing how you chain-
smoke. How many packs do you smoke a day?"
"Four."
"How long have you been smoking?"
"Thirty years."
"That's over six thousand packs. Why, if you didn't smoke, you
could have saved enough money to buy this building."
The smoker takes a deep puff and says, "Do you smoke?"
"Never."
"Do you own this building?"
"No."
"Well, I do."
---
...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu!
-<>-
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>If You Don't Stand For Something, You Will Fall For Anything
?With Trump as President, we might be able to get this passed.
Let's send it across the country!
SOME STATES (Maryland, Michigan and Arizona) ARE ALLOWING MUSLIM
STUDENTS TO PRAY DURING SCHOOL HOURS.
IF THEY ALLOW THAT, THEN WE SHOULD BRING BACK OUR FLAGS INTO THE
CLASSROOMS AND ALLOW OTHERS TO PRAY TOO!
TIME FOR THE CHRISTIANS TO SPEAK UP AND DEMAND THEIR RIGHTS.
When we get 100,000,000, that's one hundred million, willing
Christians to BOND together, voice their concerns and vote, we
can take back America with God's help.
Become one of the One hundred million. Then let's get 200
million. It can be done just by sending this email to your
friends.
Do the math. It only takes a single willing heart and a
fed-up SOUL.
God Bless America and Shine your light on Her!
In 1952 President Truman established one day a year as a
"National Day of Prayer.”
In 1988 President Reagan designated the first Thursday in May
of each year as the “National Day of Prayer.”
In June 2007, then Presidential Candidate Barack Obama declared
that the USA "Was no longer a Christian nation.”
In May 2009 President Obama dismissed our 21st annual National
Day of Prayer ceremony at the White House under the ruse of
"not wanting to offend anyone."
Sept. 25, 2009, a Muslim Prayer Day was held on the West front of
the U.S. Capitol Building, the site where U.S. Presidents have
been inaugurated since 1981.
There were over 50,000 Muslims in D.C. that day. President Obama
dismissed our National Day of Prayer and now it is okay for an
event at our capitol for Islamists?
I for one was offended. But wait, it did not stop!
February 17-19, 2015, a Muslim prayer was recited at the start of
the second day of the White House summit on “Countering Violent
Extremism,” but no other religious text was presented during the
portion of the event that was open to the press. Imam Sheikh
Sa’ad Musse Roble, president of the World Peace Organization in
Minneapolis, Minn., recited a “verse from the Quran” following
remarks by Obama administration officials and Democrat members
of Congress.
Former President Obama encouraged schools to teach the Quran for
extra credit, while at the same time, we cannot even talk about
the Bible, God, pray, or salute the American Flag.
The direction this country was headed should strike fear in the
heart of every Christian.
How refreshing and beautiful our First Lady Melania Trump was in
Melbourne, Florida, on February 18, 2017. Instead of the normal
“pumping up” of the crowd, Melania chose to start the rally off
with the Lord’s Prayer. It sounded more like the start of a
football game after the National Anthem rather than what we would
expect to hear after a prayer.
Make a “Joyful noise unto the LORD thy GOD!”
Because of the “sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity” of
Madeline Murray O’Hair and ACLU efforts in 1962, "School Prayer
was removed from the U.S. public education system by slowly
changing the meaning of the First Amendment through a number of
court cases.
Several court cases should be confronted and reversed.
Send this to ten people, or one hundred and ten, and send it to
the person who sent it to you! To let them know that indeed, it
was sent out to many more.
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men
do nothing.
---
...Thanks LouiseAu!
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Trump made it happen - Prayer In School!
Trump protecting public school prayer is 'beginning of the end of
war on faith'
"It's a right that's been under assault from groups like the Freedom
From Religion Foundation and liberal courts as well," Jeffress, who
is senior pastor of First Baptist Dallas, said on "Fox & Friends"
Friday.
"I don't think it's any exaggeration at all to say, 'No president in
history has been a greater champion for religious liberty both in
America and around the world than President Donald Trump," he added.
Trump said public schools too often stop students from praying and
sharing their faith, adding the government must "never stand between
the people and God."
"It is totally unacceptable," Trump said. "You see it on the football
field. You see it so many times where they are stopped from praying
and we are doing something to stop that."
https://www.foxnews.com/faith-values/trump-prayer-school-public-guidance
"Make a joyful noise unto the loud" - reminded me of how sad
our country has become in these last months with leftist mayors
and governors wanting to even ban singing in churches!
Thank God for President Trump! We need to re-elect him or
this will only be the tip of the iceberg with the unleashing
of the anti-God and Anti-America leftist who have taken over
the Democrat party!
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unknown
More on Trump Defends Religious Liberty
The president’s directive provides $50 million a year for the
promotion of religious liberty overseas. It expands economic
incentives to nations that encourage religious freedom and
imposes sanctions against government officials who restrict that
freedom.
That last measure is particularly important as new reports
indicate that the Chinese Communist Party is exploiting the
coronavirus as an excuse to demolish churches.
This president proudly defended the Little Sisters of the Poor.
He has advanced the right to life. He has done more to defend
religious liberty than any president in modern history.
https://tinyurl.com/y5lpr27p
-<>-
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unknown
>Joe Biden re: Navy Seals
Remember this when you vote . . . .
When he was the Vice President, he did the most unthinkable thing
for a man in his position. He revealed the names and the unit that
killed Bin Laden.
"On May 3 2011, at a national event in Washington, Vice President
Joseph R. Biden Jr. did the unthinkable - He publicly revealed
the identity of the special-operations unit responsible for bin
Laden's killing, just to show that he "was in the know".
His reckless action put at risk the lives of every member of Seal
Team 6. The Taliban and other jihadists eager to avenge bin Laden
now knew which unit to target. Stunned and shocked, Seal Team Six
members immediately realized they were going to be hunted by AL
Qaeda sympathizers.
Soon after Biden's reckless idiotic speech, an American CH47
Chinook was shot down by a rocket propelled grenade in the Tangi
Valley, Maidan Wardak Province, Afghanistan, all 38 aboard were
killed including most of Seal Team Six, this incident became known
as Extortion 17.
After Biden had let the identification out, and before the Chinook
was shot down, members of Seal Team 6 had called their families
and told them to wipe out all connection to them, including social
media, and disassociate themselves as far away from them as
possible because they too would be in grave danger as the Taliban
would attempt to find them in retaliation.... And Biden, well he
didn't even work up a sweat over any of it, and was just too stupid
to realize what he had done.
"Someone said..... Well that's just Joe.!" Really? No, this
traitor revealed the names and signed the death warrants of
America's finest warriors and never looked back.
Sorry, if you disagree, but he is not worthy of consideration as our
President and Commander-in chief !
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
---
...Wow! Never heard of this before. Thanks LouiseAu!
Well, I did what I normally do and went off to vet this email...
So Sad! I found the incident mentioned in this email did happen.
30 US troops died in single deadliest incident of the Afghanistan
War 9 years ago in Extortion 17 mission
https://tinyurl.com/y4gyjmms
I also found all the usual suspects (CNN, Newsweek, Snopes,
reuters, Yahoo, Etc.) saying it was BS but then I found that my
other vetting stuff site Truth or Fiction also said it was false...
Claim
Vice President Joe Biden publicly "revealed the names and the unit
that killed Bin Laden."
Rating
Not True
https://tinyurl.com/yyh72ql7
So I was ready to put it to bed until I saw links at the bottom
of this email for reference...
Speak Out After Joe Biden Outed SEAL Team 6 - Billy and Karen Vaughn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMA1T9QWEI4&feature=youtu.be
Bless their hearts! So what? I'm not supposed to believe my lying
eyes and ears and believe their hero son? The left can bury the
truth but God likes it out in the open for all to know.
So I'm sharing it with you. This is another account of it...
The betrayal of Navy SEAL Team 6
https://special-ops.org/the-betrayal-of-navy-seal-team-6/
=========================================================
>-->From HandyHints:
)
) __ (
__ (~( __
(~( \O\ )~)
)O) )_) (O(
(_(__ ( )_) )
>Money Saving Tips:
It may sound crazy, but we sometimes forget that coins carry
value. If you have loose change in your pocket or purse,
you're more likely to spend it... or lose it in the depths
of your car or couch cushions.
By putting your excess daily change into a jar, you're
preventing frivolous spending. And once you have a healthy
stash, you can take your coins to the bank and deposit them.
More savings!
* Cut the cable cord
Cutting cable is likely the easiest way to save money every
month.
The average cable bill is now well over $110 per month.
There is no reason to spend this much to get television
content as there are so many cheaper options available.
Stream Hulu or Netflix to the get the shows you want - both
charge about $10 a month.
* Buying on sale just because it's on sale
We've all been guilty of this. We purchase items just
because they're on sale. But, do you really need that
new pair of jeans just because they're 15 percent off?
Instead of spending your money on the things that you
don't need just because they're sale, make a note of the
what you do need and then wait for them to go on sale.
If you're like most people, this could potentially save
you hundreds of dollars a year just on basics.
* Install low-flow water faucets and save up to 60 percent
on your water bill.
Do you honestly need a faucet that has the strength of a
fire hydrant to wash your dishes?
I'll answer for you...NO, you don't
Simply replace your sink faucets with a low-flow model,
this will cut your water bill by 25 percent to 60 percent.
Want to save more? Install a low-flow shower head too!
* Use curtains and blinds to cut cooling costs by 45 percent.
The best times to use your curtains as a natural heating
or cooling system is in the summer and winter months.
Reflective blinds can reduce heat gain by about 45 percent
during the summer. In the winter the opposite applies, when
you should use your window treatments to trap heat and keep
it inside.
Drapes can reduce heat loss as well!
* Sure it might seem easier to grab lunch while out, but
brown bagging can save you a lot of cash each week. It's
also especially helpful for those who just can't step out
of the office or need more willpower to stick with a
healthy lunch.
* Grow your own herbs! It will save you money and it tastes
better than buying from your local grocery store.
Herbs can easily be grown indoors on a small windowsill or
outside in pots or gardens.
They will help you save on buying expensive grocery store
jars of seasonings, will taste fresher, and can be easily
dried and stored.
* Generic vs Name Brand - Go with generic when you can!
There are great savings to be had with certain generic
brands in every supermarket.
Often the generic options are just as good, if not better,
than some of their pricier brand name counterparts.
In fact, many store or "private label" brands are
manufactured by the same companies that make the name
brands.
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
Your social security is 100% safe! - President Trump: Your Social
Security Is "Totally Protected" With Me
https://tinyurl.com/y44bjxnj
Telling It Like It Is - Jeanine Pirro (8-15-2020)
https://www.bitchute.com/video/pJYJxOKFtKng/
California County Declares Itself "Sanctuary County" for Christian
Worship Services!
https://tinyurl.com/yyhg6zmw
Israel-UAE Agreement Shows Trump’s Middle East Policy Succeeding
“Thursday’s announcement of a ‘historic peace agreement’ between
Israel and the United Arab Emirates—the first deal to normalize
relations between Israel and an Arab nation brokered by the U.S.
in over a quarter-century—is more evidence that President Trump is
the first president in a long time to get U.S. Middle East policy
more right than wrong,” writes James Jay Carafano, a foreign policy
expert at the Heritage Foundation. -Fox News
https://tinyurl.com/y3cthl8m
They elected him for the Democrat Candidate for President -
Really? Like I've always said - Joe's a Joke! He's some of
his latest best stand up comedy to prove it...
Hilarious Video: What If Real People Talked Like Joe Biden?
https://tinyurl.com/y3v7khw2
Ted Cruz rips Washington Post Obituary Headline on the Passing of
Robert Trump
https://tinyurl.com/y5scjm8z
ANTIFA Members Show Up At Sturgis, Bikers Win The Day! Cops have
to save cop-hating Antifa! Proves cops are for law and order!
https://tinyurl.com/y3yvsmk7
Another Attack On Trump Thwarted? F-15 Fighter Intercepts Plane
In No-Fly Zone Near Trump’s Property
https://tinyurl.com/y2g5k6gf
Bo Derek On Her Interactions Donald Trump: “He Was Great”
https://tinyurl.com/y32u8grq
California Court Rules in Favor of LA Church Having Indoor Services
https://tinyurl.com/yxrr6oza
The devil is using Disney to get to our kids - Disney has a new
series coming out where the lead character is a bi-...who wants
to become a witch:
https://tinyurl.com/yxc4gug2
The Latest Casualty – Hallmark Jumps On The LGBT Bandwagon
The Hallmark channel used to be a beacon of hope – providing family-
friendly shows – whether showing classics like I Love Lucy or more
modern shows like When Calls The Heart. But in a shocking turn of
events, Hallmark execs released a shocking statement hinting at the
fact they are taking a different direction with their programing.
https://tinyurl.com/yyu5pmvu
Coastal protection laws bypassed at Hawaii compound tied to Obama
https://tinyurl.com/y5slz3do
49 Shot in 72 Hours in Gun-Controlled NYC / Cuomo Blames Trump for
NYC Crime Wave / Texas Admits COVID Surge Due to Coding Error /
Major News Networks Still Won’t Cover Killing of 5-Year-Old White
Child by Black Man / Facebook Promotes Posts that Deny the
Holocaust COVID Algorithm Backfires - MORE:
https://reliablenewsnow.com/
Westwing News: We’ll Protect America’s Suburbs
https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/
WhiteHouseNews:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/
Latest From AFA:
http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw
Students For Life
https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6
Latest From OperationRescue:
http://www.operationrescue.org/
Latest Product Alert: Product Alert: Meat and Poultry
http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text
Latest Health Alert:
http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text
Click to Give Free
https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
A team of football players was at the right place at the
right time when they came across a woman dangling off the
side of a Utah cliff by her hair.
In a tug-of-war style, the Dixie State University athletes
set up a rescue operation with ropes at the Sugarloaf in
St. George after a man accompanying the woman asked for
help.
Video footage, captured by the team's coach Loni Fangupo,
shows two men and one woman pulling the rescue to safety,
who soon called for water, while the players stood by
waiting for some sign she was OK.
The woman became trapped after her hair got entangled with
her equipment while descending down the vertical cliff.
The players said they were in the area gathering at the
"Dixie Rock" as they do every year during their fall camp.
"The gentleman she was with asked for some help and we
jumped right to it, I think anybody would step up and do
the same thing," head football coach Paul Peterson told
the outlet. "We had plenty of muscle to be able to get her
up pretty quickly."
Peterson said the woman might have been dangling for about
45 minutes before being rescued.
---
...I found the video of this for you here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NhHRdwQfHI
I don't know too much about South Africa except that it is
where Nelson Mandela and Krugerrands come from. What I do
know is that if there are crocodiles in the water hazards
where you are golfing you don't go in after your ball.
I learned that from watching the Adam Sandler movie 'Happy
Gilmore'. Chubbs tried it and look what happened to him!
Apparently that movie is not popular in South Africa.
The South African golfer in this story didn't lose his hand,
like Chubbs, he lost his life while he was retrieving golf
balls from a dam called Lake Panic at South Africa's flag-
ship wildlife reserve.
The crocodile grabbed 29-year-old Jacques van der Sandt in
its jaws and disappeared under the water at a golf course
next to a staff residential area within the park boundaries.
Oubaas Coetzer, a police officer, said the crocodile
attacked van der Sandt while he was standing waist high in
the water and reaching below the surface to feel for golf
balls on the bottom of the dam.
Now this story is odd, to be sure, since van der Sandt had
golfed many times in the park before and had probably seen
crocodiles in the water, but what got the story into Bizarre
News is the reason Mr. Van der Sandt was standing waist-high
in crocodile-infested water searching for golf balls; his
friend challenged him to see who can retrieve the most balls.
I'll bet my next paycheck 10 or 12 South African beers were
involved in that decision.
Rangers killed the crocodile after a two-hour search
following the attack. There is no report of who won the
challenge.
*--- Teletubbie charged with burglary --- *
Teletubbie charged with burglary. Police in Pennsylvania said
a man who dressed as the yellow Teletubbie and broke into
a friend's home for leftover Chinese food has been charged
with burglary. Bethlehem police said Lehigh University
student Terez Owens Jr., 20, was dressed as Laa-Laa, the
yellow Teletubbie, when he allegedly broke into a friend's
house about 2 a.m. and filled his "man purse" with leftover
Chinese food from the refrigerator. The door to the
residence was damaged during the break-in, police said.
Officers caught up to Owens, who police said was dressed up
for a nearby costume party, shortly after the incident, but
he was released when the victim initially declined to press
charges. "I guess the victims thought about it and the
landlord got involved with the damage," Bethlehem police
Chief said. Owens has now been charged with burglary. The
chief said the case was unusual for the department. "Not
that many Teletubbies get arrested," he said. "You can't
make it up."
*--- Hamm's; the beer refreshing ---*
A Washington state library's mystery section was found to
contain a real-life enigma when removing a corner panel
revealed a stash of beer and chewing gum from the 1980s.
The Walla Walla Public Library said employees have been
performing renovations at the facility during the COVID-19
shutdown, and they recently removed a corner panel from
the shelf housing the mystery book section and found a
disintegrated paper bag containing five unopened cans of
Hamm's beer and an opened back of Godzilla Heads gum.
Library officials said their research determined Godzilla
Heads gum dates from the 1980s and the Hamm's beer cans
don't include health warnings that were required from 1988
on, leading staff to believe the snack stash is more than
30 years old. "It looked like somebody had just stashed it
there and maybe thought they could get it later ... but
there was no way to get it out," library director Erin
Wells said. The abandoned relics now reside in the Sudbury
Landfill.
*--- At least is wasn't a claw machine ---*
Firefighters responded to a gun range in Florida to rescue
a teenager who became trapped inside a large gun safe on
the showroom floor. The Orlando Fire Department said the
teen girl climbed into the safe Tuesday at Shooters World
in Orlando and the door closed behind her, trapping her
inside. Orlando Fire District Chief JJ White said the Tower
10 crew used hydraulic extraction tools to force the door
open. "We tried the manufacturers' suggestions and
unfortunately the fail-safe system failed on it," White
told local news. The teenager was not injured during the
rescue. "We were able to tell the minor what we were doing
from the outside so they wouldn't be too concerned or
scared, and had them back away as far away as possible from
our entry point," White said.
*--- Electric shock turns boy into magnet ---*
A Russian 12-year-old may become the first real-life X-Men
hero after an electric shock apparently magnetized his
body. Nikolai Kryaglyachenko, 12, said he leaned on a
lamppost with faulty wiring on his way home from school
one day and the resulting electric shock turned him into
a living magnet that attracts metal objects. "When I woke
up the next day and got out of bed, I found some coins
that had been lying on the mattress had stuck to my body.
Then when I was having breakfast and dropped my spoon, it
stuck to my chest," the boy told local news.
Kryaglyachenko, who has been compared to X-Men villain
Magneto, said he doesn't have much control over the
magnetism. "I can do things I couldn't do before, but I
don't have a lot of control over it. Even when I do not
want to do it, I still attract things. Once I even
attracted a glass -- it just moved towards me," he said.
Stories of human magnets stretch back to the 19th century,
with one woman being recorded in 1990 supporting 15 pounds
of weight with her palm held vertically. However, some
scientists have said stories of human magnetism can be
attributed to nothing more than unusually sticky skin.
=========================================================
>-->From TheGroaner:
_____
_.'_____`._
.'.-' 12 `-.`.
/,' 11 1 `.\
// 10 / 2 \\
;; / ::
|| 9 ----O 3 ||
:: ;;
\\ 8 4 //
\`. 7 5 ,'/
'.`-.__6__.-'.'
((-._____.-))
_)) ((_
'--'SSt '--'
>Time Stands Still
It's not what you say, but the way you say it.
On a blind date, the boy said to the girl, "Time stands still
when I look into your eyes."
The girl was very flattered.
What the boy had really meant was, "You have a face that
would stop a clock."
-<>-
>Bad Checks
A news story said the police caught a guy trying to cash a
phony check and took him down to the station.
While the officers were distracted, the crook grabbed the
check off the desk and swallowed it with no problem: the
police then waited five or six hours and then charged the
guy with passing a bad check twice.
-<>-
>Refuse to Serve
A one-wood golf club walks into a bar and asks the bartender
for a beer but the bartender refuses to serve him.
"Why not," asks the club.
"Because," he says, "you're the designated driver."
-<>-
>I'm A Sports Car
A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have
got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports
car. The other night I dreamed I was a Trans Am.
Another night I dreamed I was an Lamborghini. Last night I
dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?"
"Relax," says the shrink, "You're just having an auto-
body experience."
-<>-
>Q and A Quickies:
Q: Who invented fractions?
A: Henry the Eighth.
Q: Why do girls rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.
Q: How do you catch a rabbit?
A: Hide in a bush and make a noise like a carrot.
Q: Why does the sky cry?
A: Because it's blue.
Q: How is a drama teacher like an obsolete form of public
transportation?
A: They are both stage coaches.
.:::.
.:::. /:::::\
/:':':\ | _ |
| _ | | (_` |
| |_) | | ,_) |
| | | | |
jgs | | /`'---'`\
/`'---'`\ `'-----'`
`'-----'`
Q: What did the salt say to the pepper?
A: "Hey, what's shaking?"
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
____
/xxxx\
|xxxxxx|
|xxxxxx| _
\xxxxxx/ (~)
\xxxx/
\--/
||
||
|| ejm96
||
||
[]
One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis
ball lying by the side of the walk. Being fairly new and
in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his
pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he
noticed a young woman standing next to him smiling.
Noticing the rather distinct bulge she asked, "What do
you have in your pocket?"
"Tennis ball," the man said, smiling back.
"Wow!" said the woman looking upset. "That must hurt.
I once had tennis elbow and the pain was terrible!"
-<>-
Little Noah came into the house with a new harmonica.
"Grandpa, do you mind if I play this in here?"
"Of course not, Noah. I love music. In fact, when your
grandma and I were young, music saved my life."
"What happened?"
"Well, it was during the famous Johnstown flood. The dam
broke and when the water hit out house it knocked it
right off the foundation. Grandma got on the dining room
table and floated out safely."
"What about you?"
"Me? I accompanied her on the piano!"
-<>-
I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home, and I
took my computer down to the bar to do some work. I sat
down at the bar and I asked the bartender, "What's the wifi
password?"
Bartender: "You need to buy a drink first."
Me: "Okay, I'll have a beer."
Bartender: "We have Molsons Canadian on tap."
Me: "Sure. How much is that?"
Bartender: "$8.00."
Me: "Ok. Here you are. What's the wifi password"
Bartender: "youneedtobuyadrinkfirst, no spaces and all
lowercase."
-<>-
;
; ~~`~~ ;
~`~ ~~`~~`~ `~`
~~`~~ `~~~`~~~~ `~`~` ,
~~`~~`~ ~`~~~`~ `~`~`"_/O\""\
~`~~`~~`~~~ ~~~`~~~`~ ~|`~_ |[|##|
`~~`~~~`~ ~~~|~~~` '_--...__
~`~|~\_~\_ __/??) | _- _- _ _
| |/ .'( ) | _- _- _
| / -\ __`/\ \ |_- _- ?_ -
_____/ /--'(^,__ /\ \ //\ _
/' \ | | \ \ ||\\_- _- _
\....( / ;;;___;;; /||~~`~~
|| \\ | | _/ ||~~~`~~~ -
\\ \\ |=| /_( ||~~`~~~` _
\\_ \\_ , (__| _ ~~~~`~~~_- _- _
_- _- _ - <`_\ __; _- _ ~~~`~~
_ - _ - (_ __) _ ~~;~~ -_
_- _- _ < / < \ _- _ - _- _
TS
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off
in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned
alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Hank?" the others asked.
"Hank had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back
up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Hank layin' out there and carried the deer back?"
they asked.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one's
gonna steal Hank!"
-<>-
C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry,
we don't serve minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an
open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is
diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to
augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes
into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
"Excuse me, I'll just be a second."
A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced
that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of
the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor
I've found in this bar tonight."
Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the
bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The
bartender says: "You're looking pretty sharp tonight. Come
on in. This could be a major development." Sure enough,
E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands
there au naturel.
Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night
before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's
under a rest. So, C goes to trial, is convicted of
contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to
10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional
facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however,
and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental,
and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had
tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and
everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest
and closes the bar.
-<>-
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to
the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long
tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the
florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits
forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's
a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient
and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing
happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When
the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so
he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Linda :)
_.--._ _.--._
,-=.-":;:;:;\':;:;:;"-._
\\\:;:;:;:;:;\:;:;:;:;:;\
\\\:;:;:;:;:;\:;:;:;:;:;\
\\\:;:;:;:;:;\:;:;:;:;:;\
\\\:;:;:;:;:;\:;::;:;:;:\
\\\;:;::;:;:;\:;:;:;::;:\
\\\;;:;:_:--:\:_:--:_;:;\ -shimrod
\\\_.-" : "-._\
\`_..--""--.;.--""--.._=>
"
>Definitions
These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.
ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends
And is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and when they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
A grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
And MY Personal Favorite!
WRINKLES:
Something other people have,
Similar to my character lines.
-<>-
_____
/ /|_ ___________________________________________
/ // /| /|
(====|/ // An apple a day... _QP_ / |
(=====|/ keeps the teacher at bay ( ' ) / .|
(====|/ \__/ / /||
/_________________________________________________/ / ||
| _____________________________________________ || ||
| || | ||
| || | ||
| | | | pjb
>Wat Say?
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way
much faster now!
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they
drink like their fathers.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to change calling the bathroom the bathroom and renamed it
the gym. I feel so much better saying I went to the gym this morning.
Of course I talk to myself.. sometimes I just need expert advice!
I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!
When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment... now, as a
grown up it just feels like a small vacation!
The biggest lie I tell myself is... "I don't need to write that down,
I'll remember it."
I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no"
which is shorter than "yes".
I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my spouse took it!
Wat say!
---
...LOL! Good ones! Thanks Linda!
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
The REAL Popeye
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/realpopeye.html
Beaches In France
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beaches3.html
The Black Dot
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/blackdot.html
Friends Last Journey
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mananddog.html
Scientists Unveil New Species 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newspecies2.html
Walking In Power
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/walkingpower.html
Animal Friends!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends.html
Humor in Religion
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hreligion.html
Desert Skiing Resort
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desertskiing.html
Elephant Jokes
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eleph.html
Just Thinking
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thinking.html
Building Advertising Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buildingads.html
Strange Buildings
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buildings.html
Says It All!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/saysitall.html
World's Most Spectacular Places!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spectacularplaces.html
Summer Index!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/summerindex.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Louiseau :)
Technology has changed dramatically over the last several decades
so younger people might not recognize some of the things in this
video. If you are over the age of 50 then chances are you have
many fond memories from your life that you take the time to
reflect upon every now and then.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoDXTAajEzY
Legendary magician Mat Franco surprises Heidi Klum and Kelly
Clarkson with his amazing magic at America’s Got Talent!
https://youtu.be/SEhHkyVZapM
---
...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseAu!
The beautiful and talented Chanzie and Stephen show us how to do
The Nitty Gritty dance. “The Nitty Gritty” was written by Lincoln
Chase in 1963 and recorded by soul music singer Shirley Ellis. I
love seeing dancers who really get into the song that they are
dancing to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m01f4uAn1AA
A flashmob near the Red Square in Moscow to the music of "Puttin'
on the Ritz" - a popular song written and published in 1929 by
Irving Berlin.
https://youtu.be/KgoapkOo4vg
---
...Lots Of Fun! Thanks LouiseAu!
Revisiting...
>From Our Friend Melody :)
Letterbox Word Game
http://letterbox.lexigame.com/#
The Make A Difference Movie - The Teddy Stallard Story
http://makeadifferencemovie.com/index.php
Friday 3rd July 2015 Lightning Storm Amazing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmAlidjC6Uk
---
...Good Ones! Thanks Melody!
-<>-
>From Our Friend PatDeE :)
What a wonderful world
https://www.youtube.com/embed/auSo1MyWf8g?rel=0
Some kids are just better at this than others. I never got
beyond the little bottle and wand from the 5 and dime.
Check out Ana Yang Gazillion Bubble Show - YouTube
https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/KMrvR836TFI?rel=0
---
...Beautiful! I love Bubbles! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
This parrot loves taking a good shower. Like many of us, he also known
exactly how he likes his water pressure, so don't go changing the
setting on him, as he'll have none of that! An adorable moment that
demonstrates once again how smart some parrots really are.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=BschEXMGS-Q
A compilation of funny animals - cats, dogs, parrots, guinea pigs,
raccoons, llamas and more.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SxV5KGqu6U&feature=player_embedded
Tim Silver amazes the audience of the French television show 'The
World's Greatest Cabaret' with his magic mirror.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-SzVKDk-IU&feature=player_embedded
Watch closely, but you won't spot the illusion behind this incredible
sleight-of-hand. It's so subtle and precise that it will really make
you believe in magic! It's some of the most impressive work I've ever
seen, and Penn & Teller agree.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAN-PwRfJcA&feature=player_embedded
---
...TeeHee! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Nintendo fans are worried about Mario's brother, Luigi,
because in a trailer for a new game, he appears as a
ghost. They said 30 years of jumping 'groin-first' into
a flagpole must've finally caught up to him." -Jimmy Fallon
"A beach near San Francisco yesterday hosted the annual
world dog surfing championships. And just like last year,
the surfers had a really hard time staying on their dogs."
-Seth Meyers
"A man in Florida was recently arrested after running into
a liquor store with a live alligator and chasing people
who were shopping there. I'm just going to say it: This
emotional support animal thing has officially gone too
far." -James Corden
"New research shows that China has a bigger middle class
than America, and more people in China are living what we
would call the 'American Dream.' That's when you know
things are bad - when even the American DREAM is made in
China." -Jimmy Fallon
"The NFL's Arizona Cardinals have launched a new
competition where fans can win a team jersey and get their
photo on the scoreboard if they eat a burger consisting of
five patties, five hot dogs, five bratwursts, eight slices
of bacon, eight chicken tenders, 12 ounces of fries,
lettuce, pickles, sauce, and 20 slices of cheese in under
an hour. Said one fan, 'Ugh, lettuce?'" -Seth Meyers
"A new study finds that Americans have on average become
several inches shorter in the past 100 years. But
scientists say it's mainly because we're all looking down
at our phones." -Jimmy Fallon
"Auntie Anne's has announced it will begin selling
pumpkin spice pretzel nuggets next month. So if you like
pumpkin spice and you like eating at the mall... you
could probably use some good news." -Seth Meyers
"I've been trying to say 'I love you' more often, starting
this morning. I said it to my family before I left the
house. And then to my barista. And then to her manager,
when the barista complained that one of the customers was
making her uncomfortable." -Stephen Colbert
"Today two men dressed as Batman and Captain America tried
to rob someone at a gas station. They're being charged with
attempted robbery and mixing Marvel with DC." -Conan O'Brien
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NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
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-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
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