Turkey Gobble FUN And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~ __, ,____) _______) (--| | (--| _, (_, |__| _, _ _ | |_ _ ._ |__) , _ ' ',_ _ _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| | |(_|| || \ /_)(_||\/|| |(_| ( | | ,_| ( |_, \_, ,_| ,_| .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:* >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This first super hot one is from our friend Linda. Now I see why it would be nice to have a bunch of money! Check out this beaut here... , __.-'\______\\'.______ >` '-`.--------'---`-`-`-. / .-. \________ "" .-. =\ jgs '---( o )------------( o )--' '-' '-' 2012 Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lambo.html --- ...Aww, what dreams are made of! Thanks Linda! I'd have to have a new outfit just to take a ride! LOL! This next hot tottie is from our friends Victor, Linda and PatDeE. A good look at some of the best photography of the year! Check out this breath taking one here... .--.-. ( ( )__ (_, \ ) ,_) | '-'--`--' ~~| , \ _ / ,|`-._/| -== (_) ==- ^^ .' | /||\ / \ ^^ .' | ./ ||`\ | / `-. |/._ || \ / `|| `|;-._\ | || || \ ~^~_~^~_-~^~=~^~~^= / || ||__ \~^=~^~-~^~_~^~=~^~-~^~ ~^~ ~=~^~ _~^~ =~ `--------|`---|| `"-`___~~^~ =_~^=~~^~=`~^ jgs ~^~=~^_~^~ =~ \~~~~~~~'~~~~'~~~~/~~`` ~=~^~ ~^=_~^~ ~~^ ~^~ ~^=~^~_~-=~^~ ^ `--------------'~^~=~^~_~^=~^~=~ ~^~-~^= ~^~=~ ~^=~^~ ~^~^=~^~-~^~ ~^~=~^~^~ =~^~^=~^~^=~^~^ =~~`~^ ~^~= ~^~= ~~^~~`=~``^~^^~= ~^=~^~^~^ =`^~^`^~^=~^~-~~^ 2012 Most Stunning Photos 1! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moststunning1.html --- ...Wow! Spectacular! Thanks Victor, Linda and PatDeE! We'll have part two of this next week. ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Stealing A Mercedes _.=;;=._ .:-'`||`'-:. // || \\ Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes || || || Benz, and after a long trial, the jury || ,//\\, || acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came \\,//' '\\,// back to the judge who had presided at the './.____.\.' hearing. jgs `------' "Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine." "Why?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for ?" "Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE NOVEMBER HOLIDAYS ------------+ November 19 Have A Bad Day Day November 20 Absurdity Day November 21 World Hello Day and False Confessions Day November 22 Start Your Own Country Day November 23 National Cashew Day November 24 Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day November 25 National Parfait Day ============================================================= .========. .-| |-. .''-'`_.|__ __ __|._`'-''. / .--'` | [LI] | `'--. \ .' / _.--'''""""'''--._ \ '. /` .' .-' _.----._ '-. '. `\ | / / .' _ _ '. \ \ | | | | / `_ _` \ | | | / / '. | (o)(o) | .' \ \ | | '._| .-""-. |_.' | | | \ / | \ / | \ / | / / | / \ /\/\ / \ | \ \ | | / | '-.( ).-' | \ | | | | | / \`""`/ \ | | | \ \ / | _.-| |-._ | \ / / \ \ | / .' | | '. \ | / / '. './ | .' / \ '. | \.' .' '._| \/ \/ |_.' `'{` , , `}'` { } { } { } { } { } { } \,/ \,/ '. .' jgs '-.__ __.-' { _}""{_ } / \ / \ /=/=|=| |=|=\=\ \/\/\_/ \_/\/\/ >-->Thanksgiving Turkey GOBBLE Jokes for Kids: What key won't open any door? (A turkey!) Why did the turkey cross the road? (It was the chicken's day off!) Why did the chewing gum cross the road? (It was stuck on the turkey's foot!) Why did the turkey cross the road twice? (To prove he wasn't chicken!) What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on top of a barn? (An eggroll!) Where do you find a turkey with no legs? (Exactly where you left it!) What do you call it when it rains turkeys? (Foul weather!) Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? (To hatchet!) ####### ##[_]## ,;###########;, <<:{{\|@___@|/}}:>> <<:{{| ( /___\\) \}}:>> <<:{{/\ \\___/( /\}}:>> <<<<:{{| \ _.| |(_\/ |}}:>>>> <<<:{{|`\,'| '-' |'./`|}}:>>> <<<:{{|`\/ \___/ \/`|}}:>>> <<<:{{ \// ) ~ ~ ( \\/ }}:>>> <<:{{`{///' ~ ^ ~ '\\\}`}}:>>> <<:{{,=`. ~ ^.~.^ ~ .`=,}}:>> `-,__.__,-' \ | / jgs // \\ .---'( )'---. `---'-` `-'---` Why did the police arrest the turkey? (They suspected it of fowl play!) Which side of a turkey has the most feathers? (The outside!) Why do turkeys lay eggs? (If they dropped them, they'd break!) What's the most musical part of a turkey? (The drumstick!) If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from? (A poul-tree!) Daughter: Mum, can I have a canary for Christmas? Mum: NO! You'll have turkey like everyone else. What happened when the turkey got into a fight? (He got the stuffing knocked out of him!) What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? (The turkey!) ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend KarenF :) .---. |_X_| ___ [_____] / _ \ // \\ | / \ | | " | || " || __\___/__ __\\_//__ /\_______/\ / | U | \/ _ : _ \ ( (|___|) )/ \ : / \ \ \_ / \ _/ \ /=====\ / / /| |\ './___:___\.' ; | | ; | | | | | | | | | | | \_____/ | |--|--| '._______.' |LI|LI| jgs \/ \/ \_/ \_/ >A Redneck Thanksgiving ...You Might Be A Redneck If: You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table. Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings. You've ever re-used a paper plate. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table. On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat. Your turkey platter is an old hub cap. Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them. Your stuffing's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop. Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup. Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road". You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food. You have an Elvis Jell-o mold. Your secret family recipe is illegal. You serve Vienna Sausage as an appetizer. --- ...LOL! Thanks KarenF! -<>- .-""""-._.'| / '.| | / | / ( | -= | /| ) ( | |/`< ) ) ; -=| _| ______ \ \ / .' `. /) '._ _.-""-.< .' `\/) / / \ / ___ .--'`/| _ / | '-._( ____\ (____/_/=, ( \| \ -=/ /--;==============` ._,;'\==='-,..__/__/__.' `'--/,/ || ' \ / | / || ' \ \/ . || ; jgs / / || | | . || | / '=------| / ' ; ; ;| `-.___.___.___.___._/ >Mom's Lazy Thanksgiving ‘Tis the night before Thanksgiving And all through our house No turkey is baking; I feel like a louse, For I am all nestled so snug in my bed; I'm not getting up and I'm not bakin' bread. No pies in my oven, no cranberry sauce Cuz I give the orders, and I am the boss. When out in the kitchen, there arose such a clatter I almost got up to see what was the matter. As I drew in my head and was tossing around To the bed came my husband; he grimaced, he frowned. And laying his finger aside of his nose, He scared me to death and I thought, "Here he goes!" He spoke not a word as he threw back my quilt And the look that he gave was intended to wilt. So up to the ceiling my pillows he threw I knew I had had it, his face had turned blue. "You prancer, you dodger, you're lazy, you vixen Out yonder in kitchen, Thanksgiving you're fixin." But he heard me explain, with my face in a pout: "I'm JUST PLAIN TOO TIRED So we're EATING OUT." --- ...Yeah baby! LOL! Thanks KarenF! ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Linda ;) _..----...__ .-" `"-. | | |__.==========.____| | | .======. | | ____ | | | | | | _.-' ""--.._ |__| '======' |___ | .' '-. _.-'`` '==========' ``""'--.._ / \' '. / ,,,,,,,,, |._.,,;;;''''''''';;;;;;;;;, | ; .;;;;;;;;;;;\ | ,;;;;;| .) .) `;;;;;;;;, / | /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| ;;;;;/ (_ ';;;;;;;-'` | /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|| ;;;;;| `;;;;;; | |;;;;''' '/| ';;;;\ '----' ;;;;;' | |;;;' (' (' \\ `''''`---.___.- __;;''` ; |;;' _) \`) |~\ .-' '---'` ``"-. \ |;;;, .___. |/ / \_/__ _/\ _..,/`\ '-._ \"` `-' .'--"----"; `; '-..-/ \| `;;,--`-._____...-' ; ; ; `; \| || / `\ ; ' . ; \ || / / .-""-.\ . ; ; . ; || /`-./ // \\ ; ' . ; | || ; | `'--./| \'. ; ; ' | || | | | \-' ' ; | || | \ \ \ _ ; ' . | |/ \ >--------'. ` `''-._ , ; ; ;'-. _/' \/ '-._ \`'--. / `, / `'---...___/ / ,/---. /\ / \ ; `"""` ; \`- / / \ / \ ; ,-' /-' \ / \'----'----{ .' \ / \ `""` __..-' / \'----..------'''`` / / \ | .-' / \ | | \ / / \ ) '. .'----; ;------; '-._ _.-'___ | |____ | `'--..._______...--'` //__//__| //__//__| jgs | _| _|_ .--'`---` .--'`---` \ |__.\|___.\\_\ ( ( | / / `""\_____..__'.______..___/ \___.-\___.-._____/ >Polish Divorce A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of concrete. I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge? No, we have carport, and not need one. I mean what are your relations like? All my relations still in Poland. Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player. Does your wife beat you up? No, I always up before her. Is your wife a nagger? No, she white. Why do you want this divorce? She going to kill me. What makes you think that? I got proof. What kind of proof? She going to poison me! She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read English pretty good, and it say: ~~~Polish Remover~~~ --- ...LOL! Oh My! Thanks Linda! -<>- _,, _.-'` ',\ \ .-;`'(,____ \.-'\ _\-` __.-; \_.-'_.-'0 \/ / .'0 __ | /_.' .'o \ / .-. ,;--._\___/--. __./ | .-/ \ ^_> |\ /\ \ / <;/ \ \_/ |___/__\__|` <; | |) \ o ( <; |__.\ |o \ <; \ \ / o _\ <\.)-'`| =====""` \ /\__/__/^\____.-; | | | | | / \____|\____/ |===||===| jgs __/[](_||__l[]_ / || '. \ '-----'-''-'-.__/ >The Month Before Christmas Twas the month before Christmas When all through our land, Not a Christian was praying Nor taking a stand. Why the PC Police had taken away The reason for Christmas - no one could say. The children were told by their schools not to sing About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things. It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say December 25th is just a ' Holiday'. Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it! CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-Pod Something was changing, something quite odd! Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda. As Targets were hanging their trees upside down At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found. At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears. Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty Are words that were used to intimidate me. Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton! At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter. And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded The reason for the season, stopped before it started. So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree' Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me. Choose your words carefully, choose what you say Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday! Please, all Christians join together and wish everyone you meet MERRY CHRISTMAS Christ is The Reason' for the Christ-mas Season! If you agree please forward, if not, simply delete. --- ...Wonderfully done! Thank You Linda! ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Brenda :) }`-. , , \ \ '-' \ .-'{ _} . | ,`\ / ' ; .-;\ { \ | | / `/ '-.,/ ; | { -- -. ' '`-, .--._.' ; \__ \ \ | ' / |`. ; _,`\ '. '- ' `_- '.`; ; ,-`_.-' ,--. \ ` /` '--' `;.` (` _ .--.\ '._) '-. \ \ `-. ; `-';| '. -. ' __ '. ; ; _,-' / { __'.\ ' '-,/; `-' ';`.- ` .-' '-. `-._' | `; ;`' .-'` <_ -' ` .\ `; ; (_.'`\ _.;-"``"'-._'. `:; ___, _.-' | .-'\'. '.` \ \_,_`\ ;##` `'; _.' /_'._\ \ \__;#####./###. \` \.' .'`/"`/ (#######)###::.. _.' '.' .' ; , |:. `|()##`"""` jgs `'-../__/_\:: /O()()o ()'._.'`()()' >Sleeping With The President The night before the election, Mitt Romney was very confident & told his Wife Ann; "...this time tomorrow night, you'll be sleeping with the President of the United States". After Mitt's concession speech, they headed to bed. Ann was getting undressed when she asked,.."...so how does this work? Is Barrack coming over here or I'm supposed to go over there?" --- ...TeeHee! Sad Reality check eh? Thanks Brenda! =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend KarenF :) ____ / __ \ __/==LI==\__ `"///""""\\\"` ( . . ) \ __ / ;.__.; /` /\ `\ | /::\ | /\ / :: \ /\ / \/ :: \/ \ /\/`>==::==<`\/\ (_/ / :: \ \_) /__________\ | || | |- || -| jgs \.-||-./ /LI/\LI\ (__/ \__) >A Visitor From The Past by Thelen Paulk I had a dream the other night I didn't understand. A figure walking through the mist with a flintlock in his hand. His clothes were torn and dirty, as he stood there by my bed. He took off his three cornered hat and speaking low, he said: "We fought a revolution, to secure our liberty. We wrote the Constitution, as a shield from tyranny. For future generations, this legacy we gave, in this, the land of the free and the home of the brave. You buy permits to travel, and permits to own a gun, Permits to start a business, or to build a place for one. On land that you believe you own, you pay a yearly rent, Although you have no voice in choosing, how the money's spent. Your children must attend a school that doesn't educate. Your Christian values can't be taught, according to the state. You read about the current news in a regulated press. You pay a tax you do not owe, to please the foreign I.R.S. Your money is no longer made of silver, or of gold. You trade your wealth for paper, so your lives can be controlled. You pay for crimes that make our Nation turn from God in shame. You've taken Satan's number, as you've traded in your name. You've given government control, to those who do you harm, So they can padlock churches, and steal the family farm, And keep our country deep in debt, put men of God in jail, Harass your fellow countrymen, while corrupted courts prevail. Your public servants don't uphold the solemn oath they've sworn. They defy and rape the nation, and leave it's fabric tattered and torn. Your leaders ship artillery and guns to foreign shores, And send your sons to slaughter, fighting other people's wars. Can you regain the freedom for which we fought and died? Or don't you have the courage, or the faith to stand with pride? Are there no more values for which you'll fight to save? Or do you wish your children to live in fear as a slave? People of the Republic arise and take a stand! Defend the Constitution, the Supreme Law of the Land! Preserve our Great Republic, and God Given Right! And pray to God, to keep the torch of Freedom burning bright!" As I awoke he vanished, in the mist from whence he came. His words were true, we are not free, we have ourselves to blame. For even now as tyrants trample each God Given Right, we only watch and tremble, too afraid to stand and fight. If he stood by your bedside, in a dream, while you're asleep, and wonders what remains of our Rights he fought so hard to keep, What would be your answer, if he called out from the grave; IS THIS STILL THE LAND OF THE FREE AND HOME OF THE BRAVE? --- ...A Pilgrim's Poem for sure - Thank You KarenF! Seems today those who lie the most get elected and the people don't seem to care - like they have blinders on to the truth. =============================================================== >-->From PatDeE :) .-'"`/\ // /' /\`\ ('//.-'/`-.; \ \ / /-. __.__.___..__._.___.\\ \\----,_ .:{@&#,&#@&,@&#&&,#&@#&@&\\` \-. .-'-. .:{@#@,#@&#,@#&&#,@&#&@&,&@#&&\\, -._,"- \ .{#@#&@#@#&#&@&#@#@&#,@#@#&@&&#@#\ \// = \`=\__ `{#@,@#&@&,@&#@,#@&#@#&@#&@,&#@,#/\/ =`-. -_=__ `:{@#&@&#@&#@&#@,#&&#@&,@#/.' / / "/.-', / `:{@#&,#&@#,@&#&@&,@&#/.-// //-'-_= ",/ jgs `~`~~`~~~`~`~`~~`~( / , /__,___.-" \ \\/ `\\\' >NIGHT WATCHMAN Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One was to do the studies and one was to write the reports. Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created two positions: a time keeper and a payroll officer then hired two people. Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $918,000 over budget, we must cut back." So they laid-off the night watchman. NOW slowly, let it sink in. Quietly, we go like sheep to slaughter. Does anybody remember the reason given for the establishment of the DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY during the Carter administration? Anybody? Anything? No? Didn't think so! Bottom line is, we've spent several hundred billion dollars in support of an agency, the reason for which very few people who read this can remember! Ready?? It was very simple... and at the time, everybody thought it very appropriate. The Department of Energy was instituted on 8/04/1977, TO LESSEN OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL. Hey, pretty efficient, huh??? AND NOW IT'S 2012 -- 35 YEARS LATER -- AND THE BUDGET FOR THIS "NECESSARY" DEPARTMENT IS AT $24.2 BILLION A YEAR. IT HAS APPROXIMATELY 100,000 CONTRACT EMPLOYEES & 16,000 FEDERAL EMPLOYEES; AND LOOK AT THE JOB IT HAS DONE! (THIS IS WHERE YOU SLAP YOUR FOREHEAD AND SAY, "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?"); 34 years ago 30% of our oil consumption was foreign imports. Today 40% of our oil consumption is foreign imports. Ah, yes -- good old Federal bureaucracy. NOW, WE HAVE TURNED OVER THE BANKING SYSTEM, HEALTH CARE, AND THE AUTO INDUSTRY TO THE SAME GOVERNMENT? Hello!! Anybody Home? Signed....The Night Watchman --- ...LOL! Sounds about right! Thanks PatDeE! ============================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics] >From Our Friend Linda :) >MY FINAL POLITICAL EMAIL: [maybe] AFTER TODAY, I WILL NO LONGER BOTHER ANYONE WITH ANY POLITICAL EMAILS NOR WILL I READ ANY - To paraphrase president Lincoln: A LAND OF THE STUPID, BY THE STUPID, FOR THE STUPID.... Read the rest here... http://tinyurl.com/btv6vkd --- ...oh and give us healthcare [we have to pay for - WHAT?] Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) >Muslim Heritage? I couldn't have put together better myself! This is a response to Obama's Muslem dinner celebrating the end of Ramada where he testified to America's 'Muslem heritage'. Mr. Obama: Were those Muslims that were in America when the Pilgrims First landed? Funny, I thought they were Native American Indians. Were those Muslims that celebrated the first Thanksgiving Day? Sorry again, those were Pilgrims and Native American Indians. Read More Here... http://tinyurl.com/crqsgwx --- ...And he's supposed to be smart - Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From BizarreNews: You never know what kind of gems will turn up just by reading the police blotter. Take this little drama which unfolded in Michigan. A man in Saginaw says he spent nearly 4 hours at a gas station after getting one of his fingers trapped in his sport utility vehicle's gas tank. Victor Harris said he was attempting to remove a piece of paper from his Lincoln Navigator's gas tank Friday, when he found he was unable to extract his finger from his vehicle. "A piece of paper was around the little hole, so I just tried to put my little finger in there, rub it off," Harris said. "My finger just slipped in there. It was like, 'Dang, it won't come out!'" Dang, indeed. He tried unsuccessfully for nearly 2 hours to remove his finger, before fire crews and emergency personnel were called to the scene. The emergency workers ultimately cut the vehicle's gas tank out to allow Harris to be taken to a nearby hospital with his finger still trapped. Finally, after 4 1/2 hours, Harris' finger was freed and the Saginaw resident had a lesson to share. "Don't stick my finger back in the gas tank." -<>- People are joking that the states would never leave the union. It happened with the USSR, which we played a role in. It can happen here. After going to USdebtclock.org and seeing all the changing numbers, my guess if it does, they would join with other states that leave and it would be called; The United States of Common Sense. *-- Woman, 105, invited to preschool --* TIERP, Sweden - A Swedish preschool said a 105-year-old woman received an acceptance letter to its class because she was born in '07 -- but it turned out to be the wrong '07. The Central School in Tierp said Anna Eriksson, 105, received one of the letters that were sent to more than 60 local children who were born in 2007, The Local.se reported Thursday. Marinna Eriksson, principal of the school, said the population registry provided the school with the names and addresses of the children, and no one noticed one of the letters was being sent to Anna Eriksson, who was born in 1907. "Her daughter got in touch and she and I both thought it was pretty funny. The two of them and I could see the humor in what happened," the principal said. The principal said the senior citizen is still welcome to attend a school open house for prospective students. "It would be fun if Anna Eriksson wanted to come here to meet the school's leadership and have coffee," she said. *-- Police: Mom hired strippers for teens --* SOUTH GLEN FALLS, N.Y. - Police in New York state said they were looking into allegations that a mother hired strippers to perform at her 16-year-old son's birthday party. South Glen Falls Police Chief Kevin Judd and Saratoga County District Attorney James Murphy III said the mother, whose name was not released, threw a surprise party for her son's 16th birthday Nov. 3 at Spare Time bowling alley, and the event was attended by 80 people, mostly 14- and 15-year-olds, The (Schenectady, N.Y.) Daily Gazette reported Thursday. Murphy said the parents of some teenagers called police when they discovered the event was attended by exotic dancers from Tops and Bottoms, an Albany strip club. "We're looking into it," Judd said. A Spare Time employee declined to comment on the incident. *-- Woman's $200 iPad really a mirror --* ARLINGTON, Texas - A Texas woman said she was dismayed to discover the iPad she bought for $200 from a man at a gas station turned out to be a mirror with an Apple logo. Jalonta Freeman of Arlington said a man approached her at a gas station with a load of "iPads and stuff" and offered to sell her an $800 model for only $200 and she took the deal, KXAS-TV, Dallas-Fort Worth, reported Monday. However, Freeman said her sister later opened the package and discovered it was a mirror with an Apple sticker attached. "If you turn it on the back, it actually looks like an Apple iPad," Freeman said. "And when you turn it to the front, it has the prices and stuff." "That's so messed up," Freeman said. "That's so wrong. I would never do anybody like that. Get a job." Arlington police spokeswoman Tiara Richard said no similar crimes have been reported in the area recently, but it's a common occurrence near the holiday season. *-- Man finds $20,000 in dumpster --* MARLBORO, Mass. - A Massachusetts man said he discovered more than $20,000 in a dumpster while looking for magazines to turn into art projects. The Marlboro man, a Brazilian immigrant who asked for his name not to be printed, said he visits the Wellesley dump about twice a week to search for magazines to turn into art, and during a visit last month he found a book with $20,000 to $30,000 pressed between its pages, WHDH-TV, Boston, Mass., reported Tuesday. The man said he is trying to find the rightful owner of the cash and has pledged to search for six months before deciding whether to keep the money. "This book is a lot of history there," he said. "My point of view is, I want to see because if someone maybe who separated the money to buy a house, put a downpayment for the house. What if that happened to me, if it was me? I'm going to go crazy, alright?" ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) ___ .'=:-\ /.='( ` /. ^=.'-._..---. | =^.'=.'^//"(_`\\)8, |^.'=' .=||/' `\||;8.-' \'.^,=^'.||; ; ||8/:_,_ './-`\= \\\.-./;//,_/`- \ jgs \__/-/'-\888::((()),_ /:. .O__/ (_88:::(())):. `8':. ' >PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH: 1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR. 2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION. 3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES? 4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE. 5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE. 6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS? 7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP? 8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION? 9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM? 10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?" 11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT? 12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES? 13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK? 14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM? 15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED? 16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS? 17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT? 18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES? 19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS? 20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD? 21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. 22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA? 23. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY? 24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR? 25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO? 26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY? 27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE? 28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT? 29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"? 30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM? 31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM? 32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED? 33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD? --- ...LOL! What Thunkers! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- /:""| .@@@@@, |:`66|_ @@@@@@@@, C` _) aa`@@@@@@ \ ._| (_ ?@@@@ ) / =' @@@@" /`\\ \(``` || |Y| //`\ || |.| / | || || |.| \ | || || |.| \| || :| |=: |_|\ ||_|,| |_| \ \)))|| ((( | | || |____| | || |____| > )) | || | || | || | || | || |_||__ /~)) jgs (____)) /_/YY >Men Vs Women 1. He said to me... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. I said to him ... You wear pants don't you? 2. He said to me... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? I said to him... That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart 3. He said to me... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? I said to him... Turn sideways and look in the mirror! 4. He said to me... Why don't women blink during foreplay? I said to him... They don't have time. 5. He said to me... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? I said to him... I don't know; it has never happened. 6. He said to me... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking? I said to him... They already have boyfriends. 7. He said to me... What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? I said to him... A widow. 8. He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women? I said to him... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. --- ...OH My! LOL! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- 8 8 8 /```| .@@@@@, 8 8 | 66|_ @@@@@@@@, 8 (\/) 8 C _) aa`@@@@@@ 8 \/ 8(\/) \ ._| (_ ?@@@@ 8 |8:\/:~:~) /:~:~: =' @@@@~:~:8 |8::::::/\\/`\;_:::\ (__:::::8 |8:::::| \ '\___/``\\// `\)::8 |8::::|| | '|::/ / ^^ \ \::8 |8::::|| | ' \:| \__/\__/ |::8 |8o:::|\ \ ' |:\_\ /_/:::8o |"8o:::=\ \===::/`\`%%`/'\:::"8o |\"8o~| \_\ \| `""` |:~:\8o \ \"8o\ ))) \ \:::"8o \ \"8o:`. \ \ \:::"8o \|~~~~~| -|| -|mmmmmmmmmmmm~~~~| `~~~~~| || |~~| |~| |~~~~~` jgs | || | |__| |__| | || | \ | \ | |__||__| (~~^\(~~^\ ( \ \ `-._)`-._) `-._)-._) >HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2012 *Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack. *1957* Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack. *2012* School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. *Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. *1957* Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. *2012* Police are called -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it. *Scenario 3: *Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students. *1957* Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. *2012* Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The family gets extra money (SSI) from the government because Jeffrey has a disability. *Scenario 4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with the belt. *1957* Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman. *2012* Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist. *Scenario 5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. *1957* Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock *2012* The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons. *Scenario 6: Pedro fails high school English. *1957* Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college. *2012* Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. Scenario 7: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, and blows up a red ant bed. *1957* Ants die. *2012* ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. * Scenario 8: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. *1957* In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. *2012* Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy --- ...LOL! Thanks PatDeE! =============================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: ,**, .\/. // \\-. \\_///`\\ '-\\__// /\ _ __ '--' \\| /_/ _ / | (\/) /~\'=--. `\/ | \ \/_/ \/ {{{~}\ \(______,_____,__\__,____ \_\| / __ {{~{{ '-'/,---,-----,--.--,-----,- \/_/__\ .--='/~\ \{/.=--' ______/ ____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}} \__/ /\__ -,-----,--.--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}} __/ |\ \ jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/ (\/) / /\ \_| /_/ |\\ \/ |__/ \/ When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a bouquet of flowers they always have on display near the checkout counter. During one trip, some women in line behind me were oohing and aahing about a husband getting flowers for his wife. "How often do you do that?" one asked. Before I could answer, the cashier, more than familiar with my routine, said, "Every three months or 3,000 miles, which- ever comes first." -<>- I decided to buy an outfit for my girlfriend this weekend. I went to the mall and found a really cool twin set in this one store, but for the life of me I couldn't remember what size she is. I looked around and luckily saw another customer in the store who was built pretty much like my girlfriend. So I went up to the person and said, "Excuse me, sir, but what size are you?" -<>- Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her." "Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell you I told her." "Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you that she told me." -<>- En route to Hawaii, I noticed one of my passengers in the coach section of the airplane dialing her cell phone. "Excuse me. That can't be on during the flight," I reminded her. "Besides, we're over the ocean-you won't get a signal out here." "That's okay," she said. "I'm just calling my daughter. She's sitting up in first class." -<>- _,--._ .-'` '. _, .-' \.-' / .-' _ | .'-. -` -. \ `) .' _ _ '. | / / / \ / \ \ \ | ) | | ( | \.-' \ 0 0 / '-./ ( ( .----. _ ) ) '-. / | .-' \ \_____.' / / \ . / / \ '----/ / \ `-` / \ / (`"""""`) /`"""""`\ / \ I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question. "Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect?" -<>- Flashlights used by my National Guard unit can withstand almost anything. And to prove it, they come with a lifetime warranty. Nevertheless, nothing is indestructible, which is why the warranty also cautions, "Void with shark bites, bear attacks and children under the age of five." ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Friends And Health! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/friendhealth.html Dog Warriors! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogwarriors.html Advice For Living! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/advice.html Sweets For The Sweet! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sugar.html Morons at Work http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork.html Maxine On Fall http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonfall.html Maxine On Holidays http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineholidays.html Thank You Lord! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thanks.html Modern Toilet http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork.html Extreme Rednecks http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eredneck.html Friends http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/friends.html In Days Past http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dayspast.html Jesus Clinic http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/clinic.html -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) Without a single word, this says it all This is the new "wear your seatbelt" ad the UK is doing - started by some dude not hired to do it, but because the cause is important to him, he came up with this idea, and now it's being hailed across the world as a "beautiful" commercial. ...And now the video has become so popular with the general public that people are forwarding it to friends/family on their own so quickly that it has spread all over the world in a very short time. Check out this remarkable ad. http://www.youtube.com/embed/h-8PBx7isoM --- ...Love It! Thanks Linda! Porn site for seniors X don`t need to be a member You will be amazed and stimulated by this one!!! Senior men especially will relate to this website. Always chasing but never quite getting there..... I accidentally found it after looking half the night. Check it out; you will not be disappointed, but one must be patient as we all have learned throughout our sex lives. Click below. http://mr-desi.com/fun_pages/freeporn.html --- ...Most interesting and different! Thanks Linda! Circle the Cat if you can. It takes a while. Grandma Faith's Website * Circle the Cat http://www.members.shaw.ca/gf3/circle-the-cat.html --- ...Tuff one! Thanks Linda! ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Apple is working on new 3-D technology that can be seen without special glasses. But it's not ready yet, so if you want to experience 3-D without having to wear 3-D glasses, you have to go outside and look at something." -Jimmy Fallon "Scientists in California are developing a high-tech device that will tell obese people if they are eating too much and not exercising enough. That device is called 'a scale.'" -Conan O'Brien "A huge 74-foot tall spruce is the new Christmas tree at NBC's Rockefeller Center. And in typical NBC fashion, the tree will be decorated, lit up for a few weeks, and then canceled." -Jay Leno "According to a new study that just came out, smoking pot regularly does not lead to harder drugs. In fact the study shows that smoking pot regularly does not lead to doing much of anything." --Conan O'Brien "This is little strange. A couple in England named their new daughter Kia because she was delivered in the back seat of a Kia. No one was happier than her older brother - Hospital Bed." -Jimmy Fallon "According to 'Consumer Research' more people are drinking soda for breakfast. It's become the new orange juice. Maybe in the trailer park where Yoo-hoo is the new champagne!" --Jay Leno "A man in Florida was busted for stealing a cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber from a record store. He's facing a pretty severe punishment: His friends finding out." -Jimmy Fallon "Archeologists in Egypt now say it's not true that the pyramids were built by slaves. They say the pyramids were built by paid workers. But you know how they financed it? A pyramid scheme." -Jay Leno "Starbucks announced plans to open a line of juice bars. They would have done this years ago but it took them a while to figure out how to burn orange juice." -Conan O'Brien |_| _, _ _ ___ | |(_||_)|_)\_| .'=:-\ ___ | | ._| /.='( ` | |_ _ ,_ |/ , _ . .,_ _ /. ^=.'-._..---. | | |(_|| ||\/_)(_|||/|| |(_| | =^.'=.'^//"(_`\\)8, ._| ._| |^.'=' .=||/' `\||;8.-' \'.^,=^'.||; ; ||8/:_,_ give thanks... './-`\= \\\.-./;//,_/`- \ jgs \__/-/'-\888::((()),_ /:. .O__/ (_88:::(())):. `8':. ' >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chriistian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************