Turkey Leftovers And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This sizzling hot new page is from our friends Geniann and LouiseAu. It is sure to give you plenty of awws and smiles for your day. Check out these sweet friends and be sure to watch the video here too... ,-, _.-=;~ /_ _-~ ' ;. _.-~ ' .-~-~`-._ _.--~~:. --.____88 ____.........--~~~. .' . . _..-------~~ _..--~~~~ .' .' ,' _.-~ . . ` ,' .' :. ./ .: ,/ ` ::. ,' .:' ,( ;. ::. ,-' .' ./'.`. . . /:::._______.... _/:.o/ / ./'. . .) . _.,' `88;?88| ,' . .,/'._,-~ /_.o8P' 88P ?8b _,'' . .,/',-~ d888P' 88' 88| _.'~ . .,:oP' ?88b _..--- 88.--'8b.--..__ : ...' 88o __,------.88o ...__..._.=~- . `~~ `~~ ~-._ Seal _. `.;;;:=' ~~ ~~~ ~- - - - The Shepherd and The Fox http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/shepherdfox.html --- ...Such a fun heartwarming one! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: , __ _.-"` `'-. /||\'._ __{}_( |||| |'--.__\ | L.( ^_\^ \ .-' | _ | | | )\___/ | \-'`:._] jgs \__/; '-. A woman was driving down the center of the road at 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over. "License and registration, please." "It's OK, officer", she replied. "I have a special license that allows me to do this." "That's impossible! There is no such license," said the cop. The woman reached into her purse and handed him her license. "This is an ordinary license, Miss. There's nothing here that would allow you special consideration," he told her. She replied, "It says so right here at the bottom: 'Tear Along The Dotted Line.'" -<>- ,,,,, \ e e\ C _\/ |\\, )\_) \_ / _/|/_ _// ,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ / \_/ / / , | \_._,-" ( < _' | \ \ ', -',-~.-' _/ ) | |// | ' ' ) | | | | ._., - |.,_ // _\-' )___|__|_ '-._ b'ger /____\__\ >I'm a Senior Citizen 1. I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 PM. 2. I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer. 3. I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going. 4. I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go. 5. I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. 6. I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying. 7. I'm very good at telling stories ... over and over and over and over. 8. I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine. 9. I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care. 10. I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians. 11. I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired. 12. I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place. 13. I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg. 14. I'm having trouble remembering simple words like........ 15. I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies. 16. I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory. 17. I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less. 18. I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days. 19. I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP. 20. I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150? 21. I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life! ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ November 27 is Pins and Needles Day November 28 is French Toast Day, Make Your Own Head Day and Red Planet Day November 29 is Square Dance Day November 30 is Stay At Home Because You Are Well Day December 1 is Eat a Red Apple Day and World Aids Awareness Day December 2 is National Fritters Day December 3 is Advent begins and National Roof over Your Head Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ______________ .-~.------------.~-. ,-~ ,'| /// || // `, ~-,_ ,''"'`--|--------|`--------~~~ ~~- .,_ > _|__~ | ~ `. ____ ~ -. I ,',--.`. | : ,'.--.`. `.__) I======: ::____|__________;_;: ::======( `------`. .'-------------------`. .'`------' >Just Like Frank I caught a taxicab just as I walked out to the street. The cabbie said, "Perfect timing! You're just like Frank." "Who? " "Frank Feldman. He was always lucky and did everything right all the time. Just like me coming along just when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank every single time." "There are always a few clouds for everybody." "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy." "Sounds like something really special. " "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank could do everything right." "Wow! some guy then!" "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman." "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?" "I never actually met Frank. I married his widow." -<>- .--. {\ / q {\ { `\ \ (-(~` { '.{`\ \ \ ) {'-{ ' \ .-""'-. \ \ {._{'.' \/ '.) \ {_.{. {` | {._{ ' { ;'-=-. | {-.{.' { ';-=-.` / {._.{.; '-=- .' {_.-' `'.__ _,-' jgs |||` .='==, >Bruce Talks Turkey The Cameron Column is a free Internet newsletter: http://www.wbrucecameron.com/ .-""""-._.'| / '.| | / | / | -= | /| ( | |/`< ) ) ( ; -=| _| ) \ \ / ____ /) '._ _.-""-.< .' `\/) / / \ / _ .'`/| _ / | '-._( __\ (__/_/=, ( \| \ -=/ /--;==========` ._,;'\==='-,..__/__/__.' `'--/,/ || ' \ / | / || ' \ \/ . || ; jgs / / || | | . || | / '=------| / ' ; ; ;| `-.___.___.___.___._/ TURKEY LEFTOVERS By W. Bruce Cameron Like many men, I am different from my wife in ways, which are noticeable, and, in my opinion, fortunate. Take the Thanksgiving turkey. (And I mean that literally. PLEASE come over to our house, open the refrigerator, shove aside everything growing green fuzz, and take this carcass away before it reincarnates as turkey lasagna or turkey tetracycline or whatever new concoction awaits the family.) But take Thanksgiving--my wife prefers small birds that fit nicely into the roasting pan and which can be cooked in a few hours. "Ha!" I can be quoted as sneering. I trace my own gender lineage to that proud, hairy group of hunter-gatherers who, prior to the invention of TV remote control, would take their spears and go pull down a huge bison for dinner, stopping at the bar on the way home for a couple of cave brews. So when I go to the store for a turkey, I find a TURKEY: a Jurassic, many-pound fowl with drum sticks as large as my thighs and wings you could park a car under. Words cannot describe the delight on my wife's face when my neighbors help me carry the bird into the refrigerator, where, following the instructions, it is left to thaw for a period of six months. (My wife often has several interesting but impractical suggestions on where else we might stick the turkey for this thawing procedure.) Cooking begins around Halloween, a slow roasting process which varies from my mother's recipe in that there are no flames or threats of divorce "if anybody says a word about how the turkey tastes." I enjoy every step of turkey preparation, particularly since I am not involved in any of it. Well, that's not entirely true--at one point, I am asked to reach into the mouth of the turkey and retrieve the giblets, which turns out to be a bag of what looks like pieces of Jimmy Hoffa. (I realize I am not, technically speaking, putting my hand in the bird's "mouth," but I'd rather not dwell on what this means.) How the turkey manages to swallow this stuff in the first place is beyond me. Traditionally, we open this bag, dump the contents into a pan of water, and boil the results. Only the cat is happy about this development. As wonderful as this all is, by the fourth or fifth night my appetite for turkey variations has waned, and I provide valuable feedback to my wife by making gagging noises at dinner time. Her verbal (as opposed to projectile) response to this is to imply that it is somehow MY fault we have so many leftovers, to which I logically reply, "Hey, YOU cooked it." Now, before you men out there become too smug with how adroitly I out maneuvered her with my quick retort, you should be advised that she STILL blames me for our turkey-induced bulimia. Therefore I appeal to my readership: has anyone else noticed bizarre psychiatric spousal reactions to turkey consumption which might explain this whole controversy? Please advise via return e-mail, which will be picked up by the crack WBC technical team and, judging by previous results, forwarded to the Governor of New Jersey. ----------------- From The Cameron Column, a free Internet newsletter: http://www.wbrucecameron.com/ Copyright 2005 W. Bruce Cameron. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes. -<>- >Office Computer Upgrade After my office computer was upgraded, it began spontaneously turning itself off. I harassed the IT department with so many phone calls that they finally sent someone to check it out, but nothing was found to be wrong. "What exactly is happening?" the tech asked. "Well," I said, "Whenever I go for a coffee, everything shuts down. It's like this." I stretched, pushed back from my desk and got up. On cue, my PC turned off. The tech reached under my desk and moved the power bar-away from my feet. -<>- >Flipping Pancakes While on vacation, my wife and I stopped for lunch at a diner. We sat at the counter, right next to the grill. The cook was a young man who was very busy flipping pancakes. Every so often, he would stop and hit the grill with the handle of the spatula. Finally I asked him facetiously, " Does that improve the taste of the pancakes?" "No," he replied, "That keeps the handle from falling off." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) ,'-', :-----: (''' , - , ''') \ ' . , ` / \ ' ^ ? / \ ` - ,' `j_ _,' ,- -`\ \ /f ,- \_\/_/'- , `, , , /\ \ | / \ ', , f : :`, , <...\ , : ,- ' \,,,,\ ; : j ' \ \ :/^^^^' \ \ ; ''': \ -, -`.../ ' - -,`,--` \_._'-- '---: Storm >SMILES A 106-year-old cowboy in Texas recently passed away. He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity and he said that for the past 50 years he has sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning. He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the crematorium. ---------- One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?" "Flat on his butt over by the holy water," said the boy. ---------- After living in the swamps all his life, Boudreaux decided it was time to visit the big city of Breaux Bridge. In one of the stores, Boudreaux picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he said "Mais, how bout dat! Dat's a picture of my daddy!" He bought the mirror, but on the way home he remembered his wife, Marie, didn't like his dad. So he hung the mirror in the shack behind the camp, and every morning before leaving for the woods, he would go and look at it. Marie began to get suspicious of this many trips to the shack. So, one day, after Boudreaux left, she searched the shack and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So dat's da ugly witch he's been runnin' 'round wit!!!" ---------- Visiting the modern art museum an old lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror." ---------- In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth -- if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first. "I think I'm the smartest woman on earth." "POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try. "I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth." "POOF!" She disappears. The blonde goes up. "I think--" "POOF!" ---------- My mum said to me, 'Your uncle's a miser you know. In all that cold weather last week, he just sat huddled over a candle.' I said, 'Blimey mum, they say it's going to be even colder this week.' She said, 'Yes, well you never know. This week he may light it.' ---------- Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too. "A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry," she told him. "Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you intending to marry?" --- ...LOL! Good ones! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) .-=-. / ! )\ __ \__/__/ / _<( ^.^ ) / / \ c /O \ \_.-./=\.-._ _ `-._ `~` `-,./_< `\' \'\`'----' * \ . \ * `-~~~\ . . `-._`-._ * * `~~~-, * () * ) <^^> * ( . .-""-. ) .---. ."-....-"-._ _...---''`/. ' ( (`\ \ .' ``-'' _.-"'` \ \ \ : :. .-' `\`.\: `:. _.' ( .'`.` _.' `` `-..______.-' ):. ( ."-....-". jgs .':. `. "-..______..-" >Why can't we all just get along and be AMERICANS? An illegal Mexican immigrant (an undocumented Democrat), a Black Lives Matter NFL kneeling player (a documented Democrat), a Muslim and a Redneck (never voted against the Republican Party) were walking together on a beach when the NFL player stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the lamp, rubbed the sand off of it, and a Genie appeared. "I can only grant four wishes," the Genie said. "Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece." Pointing at the NFL man, he said, "Since you found the lamp, you may have the first wish." The BLM NFL man thought for a moment then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa." Poof! It was done! Thousands of ships appeared on the skyline. The illegal Mexican immigrant said, "I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my peoples back to our homeland, May-he-co!" Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet pickups appeared on the beach. The Muslim said, "I wish for a hundred thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah." Poof! It was done! A hundred thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach with ships to carry them all away. Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish?" The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off to the waiting ships. The Redneck said, "Just give me a Bud Lite. It doesn't get any better than this!" --- ...Oh My! LOL! Sad world we live in now! Thanks Geniann! -<>- It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral." -<>- A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He is allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throat and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here." -<>- Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." The third one responded, "Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them "That must be the door, I'll get it!" --- ...LOL! Oh for goodness sakes! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: The Latest From WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/ The Latest From TrueDailyNews: http://truedaily.news/category/news/ The Latest From RightAlerts: http://rightalerts.com/homepage/right-alerts-best-of-week-am/ ABC, CBS Downplay Harassment Accusations Against Dem Rep Conyers http://em.mrc.org/CBq00Q0bY0GR0LK60d0lS08 ‘Hardball’ Frets GOP ‘Will...Milk the Al Franken Thing’; Touts Dems as Responsible Purgers of Deviants http://em.mrc.org/V6BR000KGl0S000RY8dqcL0 View's Behar Hypocritically Scolds Conway on Moore, After She Defended Clinton on Rape http://em.mrc.org/Fl6BY00eT0R0q0Gd000SKL8 Flashback: Charlie Rose Lectured on Importance of ‘Respect for Women’ http://em.mrc.org/WR0lULB8Y0f0SKq00d06G00 CNN Proudly Touts Late Night TV’s ‘Resistance’ to Trump, ‘Most Mocked Man in America' http://em.mrc.org/v0860LGh0KYSRqWlB00d000 New York Times Slimes: Charles Manson ‘Was a Harbinger of Today’s Far Right’ http://em.mrc.org/ZBL8q0lXK0000d06i00YSRG -<>- >From BizarreNews: The moral of this story is never open your door for anybody, ever, for any reason. Audrey and Edward Cramer, ages 66 and 69, of Pennsylvania, filed a lawsuit naming Buffalo Township police and the Nationwide Insurance Co. after the police raided their home. The Cramers' lawsuit says the incident began when a Nation- wide insurance agent, visiting their home for a property damage claim, photographed the hibiscus plants in their back yard and sent them to police. The lawsuit, filed Thursday in Butler County Court, alleges Nationwide agent "intentionally photographed the flowering hibiscus plants in such a manner as not to reveal that they had flowers on them so that they would appear to resemble marijuana plants." Audrey Cramer said three Buffalo Township police officers pulled her out of her home while she was dressed in only her underwear. "I was not treated as though I was a human being. I was just something they were going to push aside," she reported. "I asked them again if I could put pants on and he told me no and I had to stand out on the porch." The Cramers said they were handcuffed and forced to sit in a police car for four hours while the officers ransacked their home. "Sometimes I think they look for a crime where it doesn't exist in order to justify their existence," Edward Cramer said. The Cramers said they tried telling police the plants were hibiscus, but officers insisted they were marijuana. The couple said they never received an apology. "I cannot understand the frame of reference that was on these police officers' minds, what were they thinking," Lindsay said. The lawsuit, which names the police department, three officers, Nationwide and the agent, is seeking "monetary and compensatory damages" as well as attorneys' fees and court costs. I hope they win. -<>- It's all over the place! Shakes the Clown has been charged with groping two women at a holiday haunted house in Wisconsin, records show. According to a criminal complaint, the victims had their breasts pawed last month while waiting to enter a "haunted barn" at a campground in Janesville. Police had been summoned to the scene following reports that women were "touched inappropriately by a clown." Two women told cops that a "clown with green hair" first approached them and asked, "Do you want me to Donald Trump?" While making this inquiry, the clown "made a hand gesture towards their privates and made a squeezing motion," the complaint alleges. Both women said that they "were not touched at that time," but had been "caught off guard by what the clown had said and found it inappropriate." Following the "Trump" comment, the clown allegedly grabbed and squeezed the breast of one woman, and then did the same thing to her companion. The clown's actions, the women told police, left them feeling "violated and uncomfortable." Neither victim, investigators noted, gave the clown consent to grab her. A sheriff's deputy subsequently identified the alleged assailant as Brandon Goral, a 43-year-old Janesville resident. Goral said that he "goes by the clown name of Shakes." During questioning, Goral said that he "does not touch women's breasts" unless requested to do so. Goral claimed that he was asked multiple times by different females to grab their breasts for photos, adding that he had received that request several times that evening. I don't know, sounds pretty scary to me. *----------------- Avant Garde -----------------* An Indian man is headed for the Guinness Book of World Records after stuffing a staggering 459 drinking straws into his mouth at once. Guinness confirmed Manoj Kumar Maharana, 23, of Odisha, broke the world record for most straws stuffed in the mouth without using hands by cramming 459 straws into his pie hole. Maharana, who was allowed to use elastic bands to keep the straws together but not his hands, has to have all of the straws in his mouth and keep them there for 10 seconds without falling to obtain the title. Maharana was allowed to use his hands to get the straws into his mouth, but not to hold them in place. The previous record holder, British man Simon Elmore, stuffed 400 straws into his mouth at an event in Germany. *--------------- Kids These Days ---------------* A young girl was taken from her mother and handed over to the Department of Family and Child Services in California. The Palmdale Sheriff Station said in a press release that the mother, who was on the "wrong track," was arrested for "playing chicken" on the train tracks with her 4-year-old child. Police were called by concerned citizens regarding a woman and a child sitting on the train tracks. Detective Borits and Deputy Hegge arrived at the location and saw the child sitting on the train tracks while her mother, 26-year- old Ashley Hawkins, was 20 yards away looking down on her cell phone. The deputies immediately told the mother and child to get off the train tracks and go to an area that is a safe distance away. The mother told the detectives that she and her daughter sit on the train tracks every day. Detective Bortis cautioned the mother on the dangers of "playing chicken" with the train. He warned her of a recent fatality of a man being hit by a train not far from that location. "The mother expressed no due regard for the safety of her child and continued to state it was okay because they did it every day," police said. Police arrested Hawkins for willfully placing her young daughter in a dangerous situation. The child was taken into protective custody by the Department of Family and Child Services. *----- Sounds Like S@xual Harassment To Me -----* Las Vegas police are searching for a man who punched another man for groping him on the Strip. About 1:40 a.m. a patrol officer heard shouting near Harmon Avenue and Las Vegas Boulevard South, then saw one man punch another before fleeing. The officer chased the attacker, but lost track of him near Planet Hollywood Resort. Witnesses at the scene told police the man who was punched grabbed the puncher's rear end. When the man asked him to stop, he did it again and the man punched him. The man who was punched was briefly unconscious and was transported to the hospital with minor injuries. Sounds like he got off lucky. If he were in the entertainment industry or politics he would have lost his job and would be checking into a s@x rehab facility in Europe somewhere by now. *-------- Improvise, Adapt and Overcome --------* A woman who was dubbed the "Hamburglar" was arrested for breaking into a McDonald's in Mayland. The Howard County Police Department posted a video on social media, showing the woman breaking into the McDonald's through the drive- thru window. Howard County police said that they responded to the scene when an employee who arrived for work found that the restaurant had been burglarized. Officers reviewed video surveillance and saw a white Hyundai Sonata pull into the McDonald's drive-thru around 1:00 a.m. The driver, now identified as Jessica Marie Cross, attempted to place an order in the drive-thru lane but the business was closed. She was then seen crawling through the drive-thru window and entering the restaurant, where she remained for approximately 35 minutes. Cross did not immediately cover her face. It was only during the robbery that she pulled her shirt over her head to block her face. Police said that Cross was seen on video attempting to disable the surveillance system, wipe her fingerprints from the area, and wash the cash drawers to remove her fingerprints. She managed to steal about $1,400 cash, a purse, food items, and Happy Meal toys while at the business, according to police. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: .$$$$$. . |/())))) $)'\$==. %%%%%%\%%\ / ((((==) ') - $$$'===%%%%\'.| |((((( <( \-_/$$ )" _)%% )/| | ())))_/._\._) //_.\_ %% ( / | \_) /.--._\___/__.-.\ (.' / \_ ( __._'_..'.__. ) .' \ ) (_.(_)/( / \\ / \ / \ // ) \ ) \ / ( My sister and I were out on the town one night when we ran into a man I knew. "You're sisters?" he asked incredulously. "You look nothing alike. Pointing to her nose and my chin, my sister said, "Different plastic surgeons." -<>- As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset." She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to learn the difference." -<>- I'd been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester. "You'll get $24," said the clerk. "This is insane," I protested as I wrote out the check. "I know," replied the clerk sympathetically. "I've always thought that a person who buys a finance book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail the course." -<>- Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?" "Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it." "I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?" "If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family." Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off. When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey. -<>- Jim and Joe stop in front of a pastry shop and Jim says, "Let me show you how to get yourself a free snack." Stepping through the door Jim reaches behind the counter a slips a big, frosted cookie into his coat pocket before the baker has a chance to look up and see what's going on. Winking at Joe, Jim whispers, "What do you think about that?" At that point the baker walks over and asks if he can help them. Joe winks back at Jim, then says to the baker, "I bet you a free cookie I can show you a magic trick you've never seen before." The baker says, "If it's a good enough trick I guess it's worth a free cookie." Joe says, "Watch this!" and takes a big, frosted cookie off the counter and munches away until it's gone. Then he says, "Ta-da!" The baker leans over the counter and says in a menacing voice, "There better be one good magic trick coming up or you're going to be talking to the police." Joe gives Jim grin and then says to the baker, "Just take a look in my friend's pocket." -<>- I was at a stop light, behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus." So I honked. The driver leaned out his window, gave me an very impolite gesture, and yelled, "Can't you see the light is still red, you MORON!?" ========================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: &&& && && &&&&. &&& .&&&&& && &&& &&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&& & &` && && .&&&&& &&&; &8 .&&&: && &` & && 8&& & `& && && .&_ oO_&.-.-. && ( __ -/--' &&~ .'-__-'& &&&~`'\`& &&&~` _& &&&&` && &&8&&&& &&&&&&& & &&&&&&& &&;&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&& ~~~ .~~~~~ `&&&&&&&&& ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~;!&&&&&&&&&&~/~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~\~~~~&/` \`~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ `~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ BP >Quotes: We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. ?Anonymous When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick. ? - George Burns When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about. ? - Albert Einstein The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie - deliberate, contrived, and dishonest - but the myth - persistent, persuasive, and realistic. -- John Fitzgerald Kennedy -<>- As I was relating an incident to my fifth grade students, one of the students frantically waved her hand. "Hold that thought," I told her, and finished my story. I then looked at the girl and asked what great thought she had wanted to share with the class. "It's too late," she replied. "The spider has already crawled down the front of your dress." -<>- Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old? Well. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist when I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. Surely, this balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. But just to be sure, after he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Timken High School. "Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Trojan," he gleamed with pride. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1975. Why do you ask?" "You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, bald, gray-haired, decrepit old man asked, "What did you teach?" -<>- >Kids! JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?" ................................. MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. So Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six" ................................. STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window." ................................. BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?" ................................. DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?" ................................. MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?" ................................. JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?" ................................. TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?" ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Wall Mural Art 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart3.html Texas Rules Of Etiquette!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/texas.html Playing With Food 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/food3.html Men Will Be Boys!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.html Where's Rudolph?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/reindeer.html Life's Little Oops 9!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops9.html Ice Sculpture Art 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ices2.html We Three Friends!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/threefriends.html Pets In Camouflage!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshiding.html Sweet Baby Animals!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyanimals3.html Snowflake The Duck!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snowflaketheduck.html Endangered Wolf!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wolf.html Strange Buildings!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buildings.html Feather Painting!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/feather.html Awesome Tree Houses!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/treehouses.html Moon Photography Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moonart.html When Sandman Attacks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandman.html Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Christmas Index Page http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html -<>- >Please Follow Me On StumbleUpon: https://tinyurl.com/y9tg6vgs -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) She sent us one we have here... Jacob's US Flag http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jacobsflag.html --- ...A Great job! Thanks LouiseAu! Bob Hope was without a doubt one of the greatest entertainers of all time. A wonderful look at some special moments Bob spent with the troops during his many Christmas performances. What a classic entertainer he was and I’m sure that anyone that ever saw him perform live will never forget the show. Thank You to all the Veterans that ever spent a Christmas away from their family and to Bob Hope for spending his Christmas with the troops. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SR9TSxp_okc --- ...Always a fun entertainer! Thanks LouiseAu! Old refrigerator commercial will make you jealous - video Today's smart refrigerators can show you what's inside without you having to open the door. They can also update your shopping list, play videos and so much more. But this Frigidaire refrigerator from 1956 has some features that will make you want to trade in your current fridge for an older model. Watch this blast from the past to see all of the cold pantry's features. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnfWkB60WRE --- ...Grr! They robbed us! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) Flash Mob - Prodiges 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eee4-d7FUis The Ocean as you have not seen it before https://www.youtube.com/embed/2uUk9K9TQhg --- ...Love em! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda: How To Test a AA battery, Easiest Way For Any Battery Fast, Easy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_m6p99l6ME Bollinger & Mabillard Diving Machine Coaster. Drops 205 ft. Top speed 71 MPH. No! Way! Would you get me on THAT thing! https://www.youtube.com/embed/tdl8wnQOkjM --- ...Wowsers! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Two photographs that went missing from the Museum of a Modern Art in New York were mailed back to the museum just a few days later by the alleged thief. Which is, you know, great for the museum. Got to be a bit of a blow to the ego of the artist. 'Your photographs were so popular they were stolen! No, wait, they sent them back.'" -James Corden "China is now expected to surpass Japan as the 2nd richest country in the world. They could become the richest, but that's only if we pay them the money we owe them, and that's not going to happen." -Seth Meyers "A skydiver in California just became the first person to jump out of a plane from 25,000 feet without a parachute and land in a net. Or as Southwest Airlines calls that, 'Business Class.'" -Jimmy Fallon "The good people at Butterball have been running a toll-free hotline for turkey-cooking tips since 1981. Every year the turkey talk line receives more than 100,000 phone calls, but sadly, they have not once been able to save a turkey's life." -Stephen Colbert "For the first time in 32 years, Butterball is adding male staffers to their Thanksgiving turkey talk line, the phone number you can call if you are having trouble cooking your turkey. One of the guys just yells questions to his wife in the other room." -Jimmy Kimmel "Butterball, the country's largest turkey producer, says it has a shortage of large Thanksgiving turkeys this year. Some experts say it's because of a greater demand than usual, while others say it means the turkeys are on to us." -Jimmy Fallon "A new poll revealed that 44 percent of Americans think Santa is a Democrat and 28 percent believe he is a Republican. And the other 28 percent said to please stop bothering me with stupid questions." -Jimmy Kimmel "Pringles has launched several new potato chip flavors including turkey, stuffing, mashed potato, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie. Or as single dads call it, 'Thanksgiving!'" -Seth Meyers "There is a new website that allows parents to rent toys instead of buying them for Christmas. The website is perfect for parents who aren't sure that they love their child." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************