Understanding Women And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ _ (_) | ()---|---() | | __ | __ |\ /^\ /| jgs '..-' '-..' `-._ _.-` ` *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2011 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2011 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This hot scorcher is from our friend Linda. It is more thought provoking images for a heartwarming page. Check it out here... ______ | O | | ,|._ | | `A _|__ |__|\_\ \ O \ ._|.) \___A _|_ |\ SSt Life Is... Continued http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifeis2.html --- ...Aww, I do so love these! Thanks Linda! This next scorcher is from our friends Johanna and Linda. Amazing what they are thinking of these days! Check out these innovations to make our lives easier... _____.-._____ '-------------' | (o)(0) | | o.(.--).o | \ O` ) : `o / | o.( _).O | \O' `- 'o / | >|< | \_______/ .'==========='. / o o o o o o o \ LGB '-----------------' Thoughts Into Action 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action2.html --- ...Wowsers! I especially like the bike! Thank You Ladies! ========================================================= >-->From The FunnyBone: >The Big Decision One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" "Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yeah, and they're in favor 15 to 2." ()-() /o o\ _\ Y /_ .--. _ O__`&`__0 /____\ ,_(')< / \ [B] \~~~~/ jgs \___) ()/^\() [A][C] '--' -<>- >The Drummer .;--""```````""--;. A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by /( )\ his peers, decides to learn how to play \_`'-------------'`_/ some "real" musical instruments. He | `';-----;-----;'` | goes to a music store, walks in, | / : \ / : \ / : \ | approaches the store clerk, and says, |V.','.V.','.V.','.V| "I'll take that red trumpet over there \`./_\.;./_\.;./_\.`/ and that accordion." The store clerk jgs '...___________...' looks at him a bit funny, and replies, "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got to stay". ========================================================= *--------- Even More Bizarre October Holidays ---------* October 17 is Gaudy Day October 18 is No Beard Day October 19 is Evaluate Your Life Day October 20 is National Brandied Fruit Day October 21 is Babbling Day October 22 is National Nut Day October 23 is National Mole Day October 24 is National Bologna Day October 25 is Punk For A Day Day October 26 is Mule Day October 27 is Sylvia Plath Day October 28 is Plush Animal Lover's Day and National Chocolate Day October 29 is Hermit Day October 30 is National Candy Corn Day October 31 is National Magic Day and Increase Your Psychic Powers Day =============================================================== >-->From TheMouth: mom, you up there? / ,==. |~~~ / 66\ | \c -_) |~~~ `) ( | / \ |~~~ / \ \ | (( /\ \_ |~~~ \\ \ `--`| / / / |~~~ jgs___ (_(___)_| >ATTENTION CHILDREN - THE BATHROOM DOOR IS CLOSED! Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions. Wait until I get out. Yes, it is locked. I want it that way. It is not broken, and I am not trapped. I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in there, but it's been 10 years and I want some PRIVACY. Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done. Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door. Do not go running back to the phone yelling "She's in the BATHROOM!" Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in. Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was funny when you were two. Do not slide pennies, LEGOs, or notes under the door. Even when you were two this got a little tiresome. If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done. And yes, I still love you. Mom -<>- >WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS: 'So many men, so few who can afford me.' 'Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich.' 'Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.' 'Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares?' 'And your point is?' 'Next mood swing: 6 minutes.' 'If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.' -<>- >Telephone Poll I took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler. On my very first call, I introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll." The man replied, "Yeeeah, and this is a street lamp!" -<>- ,-=-. [[_ @~] ((a a)) ` = ' _.-) (-._ /( ("+") )\ / \ \./ / \ (=<( \/8\/ )>=) \ \- 8| -/ / \/_> 8|<_\/ ;-.__;,-; | | | | | | | | '-.___,;' ) ) / ' |( ) ( \_ /_|^--' gpyy \_! >Military Insurance Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000." "Now," he concluded, "which group do you think they are going to send into battle first?" ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Annie :) _------_ -~ ~- - _ - - |> - - |< - - |> - - || - - || - -__||__- |______| <______> <______> \/ unknown >How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb? 1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out lightbulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. I can bat the ball around, too. 6. Labrador retriever: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please. 7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 9. Old English Sheepdog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb... 10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.... 11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. 12. Pointer: I see it! There it is, there it is, right there... 13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... 15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. /\____/\ __ .' """" `,-' `--.__ __,- : - - ; " :: `-. -.__ ,-sssss `._ `' _,'" ,'~~~::`.sssss-. |ssssss ,' ,_`--'_ __,' :: ` `.ssssss| |sssssss `-._____~ `,,'_______,---_;; ssssss| |ssssssssss `--'~{__ ____ ,'ssssss| `-ssssssssssssssssss ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ssss.-' `---.sssssssssssssssssssss.---' Susie Oviatt HOWEVER, The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner and a massage?" --- ...LOL! Thanks Annie! =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend PeggyT :) .===. _ _ / _/\ \ / )%.===.%( \ \/6.6\/ | // ,,, \\ | ( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===. _)---(_ /\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \ / `~` \ ^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ ) /\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )( \ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_) \|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \ | L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) ) |__|__| / ()/^\() \ /'._\|/_.'\ | | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\ |_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"` jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) >KIDS IN CHURCH 3-year-old Reese : 'Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.Amen.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little boy was overheard praying: 'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, 'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One particular four-year-old prayed, 'And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?' One bright little girl replied, 'Because people are sleeping.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3 The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. 'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, 'Ryan, you be Jesus !' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.. 'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked. 'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, 'Did God throw him back down?' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, 'Would you like to say the blessing?' 'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied. 'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, 'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And if you don't send this to at least 8 people ----- who cares! Peace, love and happiness --- ...TeeHee! Thanks PeggyT! =========================================================== >-->From TheMasti: expecting? _____ (((\\\\\ )_ \\\| / \/ = , & \(__- \ (( _ |` /\)))| ` |_| \__| \ | , \ \ | ,\ \ \ ' / \_ ` \ `__/ ._ | ` \ ejm / `-| | |` / ,`. \_____| |/\ / / `. ` |__| | === / / ==== `./ /, /========= / / / / |, /__ /== / ///' ======== __-' | / , ' - -- === ==( , ============== \ \ ========= ===== \ \===== \ \ ===== \ \ ============== \__ \ == / ` == ============== _/ / ======= '__ ' >Good Mis-Understanding Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from Reliance Energy because the electricity bill has not been paid. "Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma?" "Yes... speaking" Reliance guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!" "How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman. "Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the Reliance guy. "What are you saying? It's in your files ...HOW?????" "Yes ............. We have a system of finding out who's overdue" "GOODNESS!!!... ........ This is too much........ .." "Madam, I am sorry... I am following orders.... I have to inform you you are overdue" "I know that ... let me talk to my husband about this tonight. ....He will speak to your company tomorrow " That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to Reliance office the next day morning. "What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts. "Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at Reliance, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us." "PAY you? And if I refuse?" "Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off." "And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks. "I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle." =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Sandi :) [An Et-Ahem] | --====|====-- | .-"""""-. .'_________'. /_/_|__|__|_\_\ ;'-._ _.-'; ,--------------------| `-. .-' |--------------------, ``""--..__ ___ ; ' ; ___ __..--""`` jgs `"-// \\.._\ /_..// \\-"` \\_// '._ _.' \\_// `"` ``---`` `"` A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?" "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait." "Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best." "I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name." "Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba." --- ...Oh My! Thanks Sandi! =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) __________________________________________/ -------------------------------------------| | | |~~~~~~~~~~| | | jro| | *| *|Bless this|* |* | | |_____|_____| ~Home~ |______|______|____| _________ _________ | `| ((()) || || | |] ((- -)) ||_______|| |__________|___ ))\o/(( |_________| | |---|/ ~v~ \ |_==___==_| | |___|/(_ _)\\_________|_________| | |___| \ ///---------|@@ @ @@| | | | / \/ ||__*__|| _______ | | \\\\ | |/_____\ ||__*__||| || | ( oo |___| | | |___||__*__|||_______|| |__\-/_____|___|_| | |___________|_________| // \ |_|_| \\_| (_) (_) >WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. Keep reading-they get better!!! -<>- _______________ |,----------. |\ || |=| | || || | | || . _o| | | __ |`-----------' |/ /~/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ / / ~~ Ojoshiro >WOMEN'S REVENGE 'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.' -<>- _ .-" `. ;:": ""--.. .-+. ,gpd$L\:._ ""-._ / //;$SS$$$$SS$$t--. "-._ .' `.//SS$P^"""TS$$S. "-. "-, .' _ "-S^" TS$$Sb "-. `. .' .':S$Y _.. SS$$Sb-' "-. ; .' .' SS$;,=-. ._.`:S$$SS; j ; .' .' :SS$$.-' SS$$SS\ / / .' / SS$$S; - SS$$SS ; / / .' / ._dSS$$SS .--. :SS$$$S\; / / / / :SS$$SS$b. `--' $$SS$$S ) / / \ : ;SS$$SS$$SS.___.'$$SS$$Sb / / \ "-. SS$$SS$$$SS $$SS$$SS'; / `. "-dSS$$SS$$SS:; :$$SSSP / `. "^S^': '^TSS' / "-. `. ::-. _ .-"\\ / "-. -._\ ;; \\ : : "-. \ :: \\ ; ; $. `.;; , \\;: dS$\ / '-._ : _.-"" \; `-:S$^$t' ""--:"" ; TP :$$ ; :: : d$S$_: ;-\ ; :$SS$; `.____.' `.___.j $$SS$$ ; / T$S$$; ; ; ; : : `TS$$ : : : ; `T$ : : bug ; ; ; / ; .' : / : ;: / ; c :: :`. ; : ; ; "-. : ; : :_ "-. .' ; ; "-. ""--..__..-" : : `. _.-; ; `. .-" ; ; `. .' ; ; \ / : ; \ / : ; \_/ : ; :: : ; :; ; : :; ; ; ;; : | ;; | : : ; ; ; : ; : : ; : | ; ; : ; : ; : : ; ; : | : ; : ; ; : : : : ; : : ; ; | ;: ; ; : : : : \ ; \ "-. : ; \ \ ; : \ .d$b db.___.d$b \__.g$$$$$b $$$$$$$$$$ :$$$$$$$$$$b $$$$$$$$$$ T$$$$$$$$$$; :$$$$$$$$$ T$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ `T$$$$$$$$b $$$$$$$$; T$$$$$$$$; :$$$$$$$ T$$$$$$$$ :$$$$$$$ T$$$$$$$; $$$$$$$ T$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$ T$$$$$$; $$$$$$$ T$$$$$$ :$$$$$; T$$$$$b :$$$$$; T$$$S$b. :$$$$S; SSS$$$$bp. :$$$$S; :S$$$$$S$$; $S$$SS; S$$$$$$SP :$SSSSS; :$$$$$$S $$$$$$$; $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$ :$$SS$$ $$$$$$$$ SSS$$$ $$$$$$$$ :$$$$; :$$$$SS; `^^' TSSSSP `^^' >UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of ; , ,; '. ;: :; :: :: :: :: ': : :. : ;' :: :: ' .' '; ;' '. :: :; ;: :: ; :;. ,;: :: :; :;: ,;" :: ::. ':; ..,.; ;:' ,.;: "'"... '::,::::: ;: .;.;""' '"""....;:::::;,;.;""" .:::.....'"':::::::'",...;::::;. ;:' '""'"";.,;:::::;.'"""""" ':; ::' ;::;:::;::.. :; :: ,;:::::::::::;:.. :: ;' ,;;:;::::::::::::::;";.. ':. :: ;:" ::::::"""':::::: ": :: :. :: ::::::; ::::::: : ; ; :: ::::::: ::::::: : ; ' :: ::::::....:::::' ,: ' ' :: :::::::::::::" :: :: ':::::::::"' :: ': """""""' :: :: ;: ':; ;:" -hrr- '; ,;' "' '" ' a spider. -<>- >WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' -<>- >WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' -<>- ,-"-. _r-----i _ \ |-. ,###. | | | ,-------. | | | c| | ,--. | |' | | _______________ C| | (=====) ========= \_____________/ `==' cww (HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) >WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.' Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.' Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.' So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says. 'HEBREWS' -<>- >The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.' Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT! --- ...LMAO! Thanks Jo Ann! ============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [POLITICS] >From Change.org Please sign Carin's petition to save twenty Kurdish asylum seekers from being deported from Sweden and sent to certain persecution in Iran, and then send it to everyone you know: Refugees sewed their mouths shut in Sweden http://tinyurl.com/3zad2na -<>- >From BizarreNews: Testosterone is responsible for a lot of the stupidity that goes on in the world, but I find it hard to believe that the following story is merely a male pissing contest and did not involve some sort of drugs or alcohol. It does, however, feature a watermelon-eating dog. A police report said the two unidentified brothers got into an argument this week in Boston after a dog belonging to one of the men consumed a watermelon owned by his brother. The argument over the missing watermelon escalated into a shouting match between the siblings that allegedly caused one brother to repeatedly stab himself in order to show he didn't care if he got hurt, police say. A spokesman said when police arrived at the scene to help take the injured brother to the hospital, the other brother allegedly tried to barricade himself in a room. Police reported the brother used a saw and hammer to place pieces of wood across the door to keep police out of the room. "During his barricading construction project he stated that he wasn't going to get arrested for stabbing his brother," he said, adding that police were content to leave him alone after learning the other man's wounds were self-inflicted. But my question is...do dogs really eat watermelon? *-- Lawyer's license suspended over slurs --* CHICAGO - A Chicago attorney who used homophobic and offensive language to describe other lawyers has agreed to a temporary suspension of his license, officials said. Thomas Guadagno, 66, used terms such as "gay scum" and "child molester" to refer to other attorneys while soliciting traffic court clients, a complaint filed by the Illinois Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission said. The name-calling has gone on for at least six years, the complaint said, and in 2009 a Cook County judge found him guilty of disorderly conduct for yelling "scumbag" and "homosexual" at another attorney, the Chicago Tribune reported Monday. In the newest action, the commission said Guadagno's license would be suspended for a month and he would have to complete two years of probation, see a therapist for anger management counseling and complete a seminar on attorney professionalism. *-- Seniors hospitalized after eating brownies --* HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. - Three senior citizens became sick after eating marijuana-laced brownies at a memorial service in Huntington Beach, Calif., police said. The three people, described by police as being in their 70s and 80s, were admitted Saturday to Hoag Hospital with nausea, dizziness and inability to stand unassisted. The patients, residents of Huntington Beach and nearby Newport Beach, had been at a memorial service for a mutual friend where they had eaten brownies that contained marijuana, police said. The patients said they had no idea the brownies contained so-called medical marijuana, the Huntington Beach Police Department said Sunday in posting on the department's Facebook page. "It is important for the community to understand that marijuana is a drug, and like all other drugs and alcohol, it is important to understand the negative consequences it creates in our community," the police department said in the Facebook posting. "Calling it 'medical marijuana' does not make it any safer." *-- Surfer rides on back of shark --* SEASIDE, Ore. - An Oregon surfer who was knocked off his board by a 10- to 12-foot shark said he wound up riding for a few seconds on the large beast's back. Doug Niblack, whose story was backed up by witnesses, said he was surfing Monday at "the cove" in Seaside when the shark, which he suspects was a great white, knocked him off his board, KATU-TV, Portland, Ore., reported Thursday. Niblack said he landed on the shark's back and the monster fish lifted him out of the water above his knees for several seconds before swimming away. "It pulled my leg about three feet, hooked on my leash, then it was gone," Niblack said. "And that was the scariest part, when I didn't know where it was anymore." Niblack and fellow surfer Jake Marks said they paddled to shore as quickly as they could. "You just have that fight or flight thing going on," Marks said. "The shark was a lot bigger than us, so we chose flight." Experts said shark sightings are rare on the Oregon coast, but they are sometimes found in the area. *-- Rioters who 'fess up get free spa day --* VANCOUVER, British Columbia - A spa chain in Vancouver, Canada, is offering $50 "Calm Down" vouchers to anyone who took part in hockey riots last June who surrenders to police. The chain of seven Eccotique spa outlets has begun an ad campaign inviting rioters to visit a spa and describe their looting or arson on June 15 when the Vancouver Canucks lost the Stanley Cup to the Boston Bruins. The confessors will leave a fingerprint on a spa card and then turn themselves into police. When they return to the spa with a police arrest form, they receive the $50 voucher to be used toward massages, manicures, pedicures or waxing, the company said in a release. Eccotique President Milajne Soligo said the offer was not a reward for bad behavior. "Suspects can finally come to terms with their conscience, while the police can see justice is done" Soligo said. "These people obviously had a lot of pent-up anger during all the chaos. We think they need to learn how to calm down and relax." The company published an ad showing a rioter in a police mug shot wearing a spa face pack. =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Linda :) _,,,_ .' `'. / ____ \ | .'_ _\/ / ) a a| / ( > | ( ) ._ / ) _/-.__.'`\ ( .-'`-. \__ ) `/ `-./ `. | \ \ \ jgs | \ \ \ \ |\ `. / / \ >My Table of Eight I am supposed to pick 8 women who have touched my life and whom I think might participate. Please send this back to me. Remember to just read the quotation. That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. Just send this to eight women and let me know what happens on the fourth day. Sorry you have to forward the message, but try not to break this, please. Quote: May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us." Now, send this to 8 women or more special friends within the next 5 minutes. And remember to send this back. I count as 1. You'll see why. --- ...Awww, a sweet one! Thank You Linda! ================================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: __ __ |. ||. | .| || ||| | | | W |: ||: | |'| [ ] ._____ | || | | | .--'| 3 .---"| |. |' _ | || |-. | | __ |. | /| _|__ | || |__ .-'| _| || | || '- | || \|// / | |' | | | |' |' | |.| || | || '-' -( )-| | | | | | | __| '-' ' '' ' "" ' J V | ` - |_' ' |__ ___ ' / \ \/ | Hilsen, Peer W Hansen-- A well-to-do New Yorker was building himself a summer house in Maine, and for the job he hired a local carpenter. The NYer explained, "I've got the plans right here, you can read a blueprint, can't you?" "Oh, I can read a blueprint," said the carpenter, unrolling the plans. "And I can see a BIG mistake already. You can't build this house like this!" "I certainly can," replied the NYer. "These plans were drawn by the best architectural firm in New York. I want to you follow them exactly or I'll find myself another contractor." "Your funeral," the carpenter shrugged, "but I'm warning you right off - you're going to end up with two bathrooms." -<>- A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 20mph for it to start. She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off. I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing. A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mir- ror coming at me at about 30 mph, I realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions... -<>- My father always loved fast cars. Taking advantage of the empty roads one morning, he accelerated down a wide-open stretch. Unfortunately, a young police officer was waiting at the other end, and Dad was flagged down. He greeted the officer with a cheery "Good morning." "And a good morning to you, Wing Commander," replied the officer. "Having trouble taking off?" -<>- On a visit to the library I happened to notice a man and a woman, both deaf, signing with intense gestures, apparently in a heated debate. The man said something, and the woman seemed upset. She started signing her reply very fast, to the point where the man couldn't understand a word; she also signed in big, wide gestures. Finally, looking strained, her companion took her hands, "silencing" her. The he signed, very small and slowly, "You don't have to shout, I'm not blind." -<>- _ _ (_'----------------------------------'_) jgs (_.==================================._) Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple. Among other duties, I had to dust their many imported carvings and petrified collectibles as well as pick up after their pets. One day I was astonished to find two ivory fossils lying on the floor beside the bookcase. I quickly picked them up and put them back on the shelf. The next week the same thing happened. That afternoon my employer came into the parlor, her faithful canine behind her. Looking around, she eyed the bookcase. "Tricky," she asked the dog, "how in the world do you keep getting your bones up there?" -<>- The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?" "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue. "Do you have laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically. "Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry." -<>- A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher. ,`/ /L',_ ,\',` \ ` ,V ||/ )\ ,( / \ /, ` \ /' '| / | / | ejm `-. -._ The note read: "Bill Jones having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety." Failing to observe the punctuation, he startled his audience by announcing: "Bill Jones, having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety." -<>- A scout for one of the leading colleges went to the office of the athletic director and announced, "Have I got an athlete for you! This guy can play every sport and excels at every position. He is absolutely the finest athlete I have ever seen play." The athletic director was very impressed but had to ask the question, "But how is he scholastically?" The scout replied, "He makes straight "A"s in every subject. However, I must tell you his "B"s are a little crooked." [Thanks to Richard Miller from Reading, Pa. for sending this one in.] -<>- Tony and Angelo were on the dock watching the fleet coming into port. Floating past, high in the water, was a submarine. Tony pointed to it and asked his friend, "Is that a U-boat?" And Angelo replied, "No, that's-a not-a my boat." =============================================================== >-->From The Jokester: ///"\ |6 6| \ - / .@@@. __) (__ @6 6@/ \./ \ @ = @ : : : \ _) (_'| : |) ) /' \./ '\ : |_/ / /\ _ /\ \=o==|) \ \ ) (/ /%|%%' '7/ \7%%|%%' | |`%%|%%' | |`%%|%%' | | %%|%% |_.._| /_|_\ pjb >She Came Crawling Three mates are down the pub. Bill and Joe are arguing about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third bloke, Fred, says nothing. After a while, Bill turns to Fred and says, "Well, what about you? What sort of control have you got?" "I'll tell you," Fred replies. "Just the other night my missus came crawling to me on her hands and knees." The other two were absolutely amazed. "What happened then?", Joe asked. "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!!!". -<>- >The Back Door A lonely wife brought a man she had just met at a bar home to her bedroom one evening when she thought her husband was out of town. They immediately tore each other's clothes off and started going at it. She sat up quickly in bed as she heard the key in the lock. "Quick!" she said to the man, "it's my husband! You've got to get out of here quick!" "Where's the back door?" the man asked as he grabbed his clothes. "There isn't one," she replied. "Where would you like one?" he asked. -<>- .-=-. ////"\\ .=. ( 6 6 ) //"\\ \ - / (/6 6\) _.) (._ )\ = /(-` `:` `\ _(_ ) ( _)-| : |\ \ (_/ `\_/` \ | : |/ / / (_ @ _) \\_ : _/ / \ \)___(/ / |===|_) \/`"""`\/ | L | | | | | | | | | | | |_____| | | | ||| | | | ||| | | | ||| |_|_| jgs / Y \ / T \ `"`"` `"`"` >Playing Fiddle The husband was angry when he found out that his wife had been cheating on him. He shouts at her, "I will play second fiddle to no one!" The wife replies, "Second fiddle? With your little flute you are lucky you are still in the band!" -<>- >Anger Management HUSBAND: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? WIFE: I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND: How does that help ? WIFE: I use your toothbrush. -<>- Divorce Court "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very generous, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself." -<>- >Caught Cheating A man returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport after midnight, and while en route to his home, asked the driver if he would be a witness, as he suspected his wife was having an affair, and expected to catch her in the act. The driver agreed, and they both tiptoed into the bedroom, turned on the lights pulled the blanket back and found the wife in bed with another man. The husband put his gun to the man's head, and the wife shouted, "Don't do it, this man has been very generous. Who do you think paid for the Corvette I said I bought for you, who do you think paid for our new boat, he did!" The husband looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do in a case like this?" The cabbie smiled, and said, "I'd cover him up before he catches cold." -<>- ((" ") <)) <\(> '\| |\ ________/|______| \_________ kOs >Sure Kick My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael began a tale, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table. There was no response, so I gave him another poke. Still the story went on. Suddenly he stopped, grinned and said, "Oh, but I've told you this one before, haven't I?" We all chuckled and changed the subject. Later, on the dance floor, I asked my husband why it had taken him so long to get my message. "What do you mean?" he replied. "I cut the story off as soon as you kicked me." "But I kicked you twice and it still took you awhile to stop!" Suddenly we realized what had happened. Sheepishly we returned to our table. The boss smiled and said, "Don't worry. After the second one I figured it wasn't for me, so I passed it along!" -<>- >Custer's Last Thoughts An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called in an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, "I am a history buff, and I would like your interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer's mind before he died. I am going out of town on business for a week, and when I return I expect to see it completed." Upon his return, the billionaire went to the library to examine the finished work. To his surprise he found a painting of a cow with a halo. Surrounding this there were hundreds of Indians in various stages and different positions of making love. Furious he called the artist in. "What the heck is this?" screamed the billionaire. "Why that's exactly what you asked for," said the artist smugly. "No! I didn't ask for a mural of pornographic filth, I asked for a mural of the interpretation of Custer's last thoughts!" "And there you have it," said the artist, "I call it, 'Holy cow look at all those f*ing Indians!'" -<>- ______ ______________ ( _) _( )__ (_ ??? ) ( Think About It! ) (_____) ____ (_ [Was I really EVER_) / \ (_ this dense?] __) () ( Huh? ) (________________) \_ _/ _ O /,' (_) __ ' ___ ('__`> ./, \ () // o( //)< \\\ O ':__/ (/)\__)\` /_/\ | \ ) (_ |( ) \\ ,_ __Y''( \| [|\ `._-'\_(\\________________//_ `-./ /| ||`.___,-[______________________]-.___,'|| \`\.,-) `-.||| ||' `-.,/|| \,`.___. ||| ,|| ,___,'_|| |______`.||| / ||,'_______|| ||==I ||\ / ,||||| ||| __||__ ||_\__ __/_//||||| ||| ---o--o---o-||\_,-'----`-._// ||+||-----+||-------ool >Just Think About This... My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. God must love stupid people; He made so many. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. Procrastinate Now! I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? A hangover is the wrath of grapes. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. The trouble with life is there's no background music. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on. ================================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Extreme Pumpkin Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pumpkin.html Sweet Baby Overload http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sweetoverload.html Tale Of Two Swallows http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/swallows.html Top Reasons To SMILE! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/smile.html Salvation Mountain http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/salvation.html Extreme Camping http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/camp.html World's Best Husband http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/husbands.html Mule Vs Lion http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mulelion.html Floating Hotel http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fhotel.html Moon Photography Ar http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moonart.html -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) PLEASE listen to this video - DON'T DELETE THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT AND SERIOUS LECTURES OF WHAT IS HAPPENING IN OUR CIVILIZATION, PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO, IT IS WORTH EVERY MINUTE AND I SUSPECT YOU WILL WANT TO FORWARD IT JUST AS I AM DOING NOW. There are none as deaf as those that will not hear. Once again, Political correctness will be our demise. The canary in the coal mine is once again at work. Make your own conclusion. Please listen to this video http://livestre.am/Pfu4 -<>- How to read bar codes... Country codes - check Origins: http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/barcodes.asp --- ...Most interesting! Thanks Linda -<>- A wee Scottish Granny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yqvoka4CHVg&NR=1 --- ...LOL! Great show! Thanks Linda! -<>- Linda sent us one we have here... Syria And Rosco http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/orang2.html --- ...Awww, a heartwarming story! Thanks for the reminder Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Annie :) [An Et-Ahem] ARE YOU EVER TOO OLD? http://suddenlysenior.com/fullstory.html --- ...Goodness gracious! Thanks Annie! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Movie Links What A Wonderful World http://www.buffaloschips.com/71604.htm What Old People Do For Fun http://www.buffaloschips.com/71605.htm What The West Would Have Been Like With Shetland Ponies http://www.buffaloschips.com/71606.htm When The Parents Are Gone http://www.buffaloschips.com/71607.htm Whit Arlington http://www.buffaloschips.com/71608.htm Image Change http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfjsdfjh.htm In Case Of Earthquake http://www.buffaloschips.com/iouiouo.htm Incompatible http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkjkl.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "For those who may not know this: When the preacher says, 'You may now kiss the bride,' he's only speaking to the groom." - David Gunter "We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made with real lemons." --Alfred E. Newman "When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, 'We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.'" - Rodney Dangerfield "Nobody believes the official spokesperson, but everybody trusts an unidentified source." -Ron Nesen "We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids because we're always afraid of cancer. It's SPF 80: you squeeze the tube and a sweater comes out." -Lew Schneider "I just turned thirty. I'm at that point in life where you want to eat Fruity Pebbles, but you're concerned about the fiber content." -Paul Provenza "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed! -Thomas Edison's Mother "They do a lot of animal testing in the cosmetics industry, maybe they should brag about it in their ads. 'Aquanet hair spray, if it can blind a spider monkey, it can make your hair look luscious.'" -Vernon Chapman "I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work very well. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I went back to pondering my mortality." -Mitch Hedberg "When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, 'Give me a table near a waiter.'" - Henny Youngman "According to a new study, college tuition for a baby born today will cost $36,000 a year. That's crazy, isn't it? Why would anyone send a baby to college?" - Jay Leno "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter "I have a bumper sticker that says, 'Don't honk if you can't read this.' Everywhere I drive, I leave confused people in my wake." - Craig Tanis "With my wife, nothing is wasted. When the cuffs wear out in my shirt, it becomes a short-sleeved shirt. When the collar goes, it becomes a pajama top. Right now I've got 44 short-sleeved pajama tops. Sometimes, when I've got nothin' to do, I sit around the house and change pajama tops." - Rodney Dangerfield "For safety's sake, I try not to go to the ATM at night. I also try not to go with my four-year-old who like to scream, 'We got money! We got money!'" -Paul Clay >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************