Vote Day And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *** * //* //* ** **/| ** ************//*********** ***********//************ ** |/** ** **/| *// //* |/** **/| *** *// *** ***** //* ***** ******* |/** ******* ************* ******* * unkown *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2010 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2010 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ ** VOTE DAY - BE SURE TO GO OUT AND VOTE - WE DID :) ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) .--- / # o \,__> .o-'-'--._ / |\_ '. | | \ -, \ \ / \__| ) | '|_____[)) |,/ |===H=|\ >> \ __,| \_\ \/ \ \_\ |\ | \/ | \ \ \\ | \ | \\ |__|\ ,-ooD \\ |--\_(\.-' \o snd '-.__) I am pleased to say I came through it alive and fine! I think this last weekend I was having an old 'any thing can go wrong will go wrong' attack. I had to switch my computer to an updated one because my old one was dieing. Any one who has been through this knows it so involved it is like packing up all your belongings and moving to another house. Crazy! I keep hoping I haven't forgotten anything from my old computer backup. Once you change computers too, just like moving, you have to set up your new security and get everything switched over and started. It is a big pain. So I am doing this when low and behold, my satellite decides it is only going to let me watch two of my chosen channels. Fortunately it was OK with me watching Fox News. And I found I could also watch Animal Planet. How nice of it. All other channels were on its 'scramble and not able to view' list. So I go to call in my TV problem and guess what? My phone decided it wasn't going to work. It abruptly hung up as I was talking to the tech support people and then when they did try to phone back, it wouldn't let me answer them! Finally after a couple hours, it behaved so I could get the problem settled. Let me tell you something we found out from Direct TV. They told us that we had to pay $20.00 for them to send us a new access card for the receiver. It took a while but we figured out that that was my problem. Now we lease this equipment from them each month but they told me that I actually own this card in the unit and since I did not buy a warranty extension for it that I had to pay this fee. I turned the phone over to Paul and he yelled at them for a little while and got it straightened out to where I will get the card in the next 3-5 days and not have to pay for it this time and for my time out I get a dollar refund. I'm thrilled. Whatever happened to a repair guy coming out and fixing the problem the same day? So, anyway, now you know how my weekend went. :) I hope you all had a much more blessed and wonderful weekend! -<>- >We had a Great Month Of Caring And Sharing! ()_()()_() / ..)(.. \ __/ ( || ) \_ (_/ * * (_) | | | || | | | \_/| \__/ | | > \ / <__,--,__|/|_> unknown *~* BE SURE TO VISIT AND SHARE ALL OF THESE NEW PAGES! Best Husband! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/husbands.html Black Deer Fawn! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/deer.html Ostional Sea Turtles! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seaturtle.html Close And Personal 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/personal2.html Maxine Halloween! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonhalloween.html Pumpkin Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pumpkin.html *~* WE ESPECIALLY THANK ALL OUR CONTRIBUTORS! GOD BLESS YOU!! ============================================================ >-->From The FunnyBone: /\ A man answers the phone and has the following || conversation: || || || "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Nancy || has been most difficult - I know I ought _______|| to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, /` `\ you know how she is." | .-"""-. | | / .:::. \ | "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember | \ ':::' / | you told me that she was a vile creature | '-----' | who would make my life miserable and you | .-"""""-. | begged me not to marry her." | |_______| | | [_][_][_] | "You were perfectly right. You want to | [_] [] [] | speak with her? All right." | [1][2][3] | | [4][5][6] | He looks up from the telephone and calls | [7][8][9] | to his wife in the next room, "Nancy, your | [*][0][#] | mother wants to talk to you!" | ... | jgs\ ':::' / `"""""""""` ================================================================= +--------------- Bizarre Historical Trivia ----------------+ 100 years ago.... Only 14 percent of the homes in the United States had a bathtub. There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of paved roads. Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the twenty-first most populous state in the Union. The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower. The average wage in the U.S. was twenty-two cents an hour. The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year. Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee cost fifteen cents a pound. Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo. Drive-by-shootings - in which teenage boys galloped down the street on horses and started randomly shooting at houses, carriages, or anything else that caught their fancy - were an ongoing problem in Denver and other cities in the West. Plutonium, insulin, and antibiotics hadn't been discovered yet. Scotch tape, crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented. Some medical authorities warned that professional seam- stresses were apt to become sexually aroused by the steady rhythm of the sewing machine's foot pedals. They recommended slipping bromide - which was thought to diminish sexual desire - into the woman's drinking water. Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health." Coca-Cola contained cocaine instead of caffeine. There were about 230 reported murders in the U.S. annually. ================================================================== >-->From Our Friend DonnaL :) $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$P^""^T$$$$$$P^""^T$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$P" "^^" "T$$$$$$ $$$$$" "$$$$$ $$$$P >< >< x88' T$$$$ $$$$ '88" "88' "" $$$$ $$$$p "" "" g$$$$ $$$$$. .$$$$$ $$$$$$p. .d$$b. .g$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$b.__.d$$$$$$b.__.d$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ fsc $$$$ We'll See Author Unknown Once upon a time, there was a farmer in the central region of China. He didn't have a lot of money and, instead of a tractor, he used an old horse to plow his field. One afternoon, while working in the field, the horse dropped dead. Everyone in the village said, "Oh, what a horrible thing to happen." The farmer said simply, "We'll see." He was so at peace and so calm, that everyone in the village got together and, admiring his attitude, gave him a new horse as a gift. Everyone's reaction now was, "What a lucky man." And the farmer said, "We'll see." A couple days later, the new horse jumped a fence and ran away. Everyone in the village shook their heads and said, "What a poor fellow!" The farmer smiled and said, "We'll see." Eventually, the horse found his way home, and everyone again said, "What a fortunate man." The farmer said, "We'll see." Later in the year, the farmer's young boy went out riding on the horse and fell and broke his leg. Everyone in the village said, "What a shame for the poor boy." The farmer said, "We'll see." Two days later, the army came into the village to draft new recruits. When they saw that the farmer's son had a broken leg, they decided not to recruit him. Everyone said, "What a fortunate young man." The farmer smiled again - and said "We'll see!" Moral of the story: There's no use in overreacting to the events and circumstances of our everyday lives. Many times what looks like a setback, may actually be a gift in disguise. And when our hearts are in the right place, all events and circumstances are gifts that we can learn valuable lessons from. -<>- Played at the Grammy’s… The prayer (Andrea Bocceli and Celine Dion) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmscFwj22vg -<>- Simulate a Talk with God online (kinda neat) but of course the fact that you are talking to a robot clues you that this is not hear real LOL- type in at prompt… http://www.dumb.com/god/index.php -<>- This a Greek short film made in 2007. Copy address into your web browser http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNK6h1dfy2o -<>- Amazing Grace by Elvis Presley (ad first) http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1648065/elvis_presley_amazing_grace/ -<>- A Little Housecleaning – Sweet,A fun greeting http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRinspire513.htm -<>- Elvis and Lisa Marie Don’t Cry Daddy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2agB2S9x2Q&feature=related -<>- .-"""-. _.---..-; :.) ;"" \/ __..--'\ ;-"""-. ;._ `-.___.^.___.'-.____J__/-._J bug Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar........ .. No one can make you serve customers well. That's because great service is a choice. Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point. He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey ... He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.' Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said: Wally's Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment. .. This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean! As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, ' Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.' My friend said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.' Wally smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.' Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I'll take a Diet Coke.' Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.' As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.' And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts... Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?' Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day. He had just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It . Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'' That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.' 'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said. 'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.' Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting. Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles. How about us? A man reaps what he sows. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up... let us do good to all people. Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans. --- ...Very Nice! Thanks DonnaL! ===================================================== >-->From ArcamaxJokes: _.----._ _.---. .-' `-.-' `. .' .:''':.`. .' .:'''':. .' .----. `. .-./ .' .----. / .-. \ `. /.-. / .-. \ \ ' O ' | \ || `. | ' O '/ \ `-' / | || ( \ \ `-'/ `-.__ / `. \`-' ) .-' -- ) `. `-' _.' ( _.-' _/\ \ `. /\_ `-.____..-' .-' _/ / `. \_ `-._ _.-'_.-' .' `--.._ `-._ `-.__..-'_.-' .' .-' `-._ `--.__..-' _.----'`. / `---.......-' _ \ \ / ( `-._.-` ) / / _ .- _.-' ( `-._.-' ) (_ .' \ `-._ -. (_.-' | `. _) __..---' | `-._) ''...__ .-. __...'''__..---' \ '''...__((=))__...''' / | `-' .' \ / | | \ \ \ / / / `. \ / / `. \ \ / / / `--.._ ` ' _.--' [====] ) ( .-' '-. | | | .------. | | | | | | '------' | LGB | | '----------' >The Programmer and the Genie A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east." The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits." The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes" Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again." -<>- \\\ (oO) /C \ /__/\\ \\__// __> U<__ _\/_ (Mparre@Sun4.Cariboo.BC.CA) >10 ways you know you are a Geek 10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address. 9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?" 8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail. 7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food. 6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you. 5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest. 4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client applications". 3. At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server". 2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so colon-right parentheses!" 1. Two Words: "Pizza's Here!" -<>- ______ ,-~ _ ^^~-., ,^ -,____ ^, ,/\/\/\, / (____) | S~ ~7 ; .---._ | | || _| S I AM THE Z | | ~-.,\ | |!/ | /_ LAW! _\ ( | ~<-.,_^\|_7^ ,| _//_ _\ | | ", 77> (T/| _/' \/\/\/ | \_ )/<,/^\)i(| ( ^~-, |________|| ^!,_ / /, ,'^~^',!!_,..---. \_ "-./ / (-~^~-))' =,__,..>-, ^-,__/#w,_ '^' /~-,_/^\ ) /\ ( <_ ^~~--T^ ~=, \ \_,-=~^\ .-==, _,=^_,.-"_ ^~*.(_ /_) \ \,=\ ) /-~; \,-~ .-~ _,/ \ ___[8]_ \ T_),--~^^) _/ \,,..==~^_,.=,\ _.-~O ~ \_\_\_,.-=} ,{ _,.-<~^\ \ \\ () .=~^^~=. \_\_,./ ,{ ^T^ _ / \ \ \ \ \) [| \oDREDD > ^T~ ^ { \ \ _\.-|=-T~\\ () ()\<||>,' ) + \ |=~T ! Y [|() \ ,' / -naughty >Sylvester, Arnold and Van Damme Joke Excited about his new project concept, a movie producer had called together several big name draws to kick some ideas around. The project, an action docu-drama about famous composers featured Stallone, Van Damme, and Schwartzenegger in leading roles. The producers really wanted the box office 'oomph' of these three, and they were prepared to allow them to select what famous composers they would portray. "Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him." "Chopin has always been my favorite," said Van Damme, I'll play him." Things were going well; the producers were pleased. "Sounds splendid. And who do you want to be, Arnold?" "I'll be Bach." -<>- . | . \ | / `. \ ' / .' `. .-*""*-. .' "*-._ /.*" "*.\ _.-*" : ; ____ """"': .. ; _.-*" \ `.__.' / "*-._ .' `-.__.-' `. bug .' / . \ `. / | \ ' | ` >Hillbilly Collapsed During a recent hot spell in Atlanta a hillbilly collapsed on the street. Immediately a croud gathered and began offering suggestions. "Give the poor man a drink of whiskey," a little old lady said. "Give him some air," a man cried out. "Give him some whiskey," she cried again. Several other suggestions were made and the victim suddenly sat up and hollered, "Will all of you shut up and listen to the little old lady?" -<>- >All the Answers They say that the new super computer knows everything. A skeptical man came and asked the computer, "Where is my father?" The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with "Your father is fishing in Michigan." The skeptical man said triumphantly, "You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years." "No", replied the super computer immediately. "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout." -<>- ____ || | ||___| _)__<__ _ _ |____|__|:|___|:|_ | |_.---._|___| _ | o| | | |_o_| | || |/| |\| | |_||____|`\___/'|___| V _/-\_ fsc >Two Computer Students Two computer science students met on campus one day. The first student called out to the other, "Hey, nice bike! Where did you get it?" "Well," replied the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young co-ed rode up on this bike. She jumped off, took off all of her clothes, and said, "You can have ANYTHING you want!" "Good choice," said the first. "Her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway." =============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [POLITICS] >From PatriotNews: Your Vote Today Will Make a Difference http://tinyurl.com/25r4k83 Tell Obama you cannot sue Sheriff Joe, or us http://tinyurl.com/2as8f8u -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Mom's postcards on the way 26 years laate -------- ANCHORAGE, Alaska - An Anchorage, Alaska, woman who received a couple's postcards to their son 26 years after they were sent said they've been forwarded to the intended recipient. Teresa Childs said she was contacted by James Jigliotti, 54, shortly after media reports of the post- cards, which Olga Jigliotti mailed to her then 29-year-old son's Anchorage address while she and her husband, John, visited Italy, the Anchorage Daily News reported. James Jigliotti, now of Atlanta, said he is more likely to treasure the items now than when he was supposed to receive them in March 1982. Olga Jigliotti died March 22, 2007, and John Jigliotti died March 23, 2008. "You can never have enough of that stuff," James Jigliotti said Sunday. "It trickles away, more or less." -- German nudists complain of Polish peepers --------- BERLIN - Patrons of a German nude beach on the Polish border say beachgoers on the other side of the border come to stare at the exposed skin. Ines Muller, a German naturist, said Poles come fully clothed to the beach on their side of the border and stare at the nude swimmers and sunbathers, The Sun reported Monday. "You feel like an ape in the zoo. The Poles come with their binoculars, stare and swear," Muller said. Beach patrons said there used to be a fence separating the German and Polish beaches, but it was torn down as part of a 2007 agreement between the countries. "It's a nudist beach. It's terrible that the Poles come over dressed and stare," said German Elke Bernholz. Some Poles said the proximity of the two beaches annoys them as much as it does the Germans. "It's horrible -- we would never bathe naked, we are Catholic," said one beach-going Pole from the town of Swinemunde. -- Man, 80, reprimanded for escalator run -------- FARNHAM, England - An 80-year-old former Olympic hurdler said a Farnham, England, store has threatened to ban him if he is caught running up a down escalator again. Peter Hildreth, who represented Britain at the Olympics in 1952, 1956 and 1960, said he used to train for his sport by running up the wrong escalators, and decided to try out his old training regime as his 80th birthday approached, The Daily Mail reported. "I started doing it last month because I was turning 80. People did not see me do it to start with, I must have done it three or four times," he said. Hildreth said he was finally caught by the head of the women's underwear department at the top of the escalator and was given a stern talking-to by store manager Graham Duerden, who said the elderly man was violating health and safety rules and setting a bad example for young people. The former athlete said he has had his fill of his old pastime. "I am not going to do it anymore," Hildreth said. "My wife will be annoyed about me doing it, she does not know until now." -<>- >From Archive 1-4-08 CoffeeBreak: Flight hit by 30 hours of delays Weather and mechanical delays stranded about 100 Indiana-bound airline passengers in the Tampa Bay, Fla., area for almost 30 hours. Allegiant Air Flight 1811 sat for 90 minutes on the tarmac on New Year's Eve before passengers, who had boarded the plane at 4 p.m., were taken back into the airport, The St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times reported Wednesday. The passengers were initially told the delay was due to the weather at their destination, Fort Wayne, Ind., and were later informed that mechanical problems had arisen and a second plane was being sent from Orlando, Fla. However, when the second plane arrived, it was also found to have mechanical problems. It was after 2 a.m. Tuesday when the airline told the fliers the flight had been rescheduled for 6:05 p.m. that day. The weather in Fort Wayne caused further delays, keeping the plane at the airport until about 9 p.m., when it finally took off. 12-year-old lands record shark A 12-year-old boy has caught a 551-pound shark, believed to beat the Florida state record, in Palm Beach Shores, Fla. Aidan Murray Medley, who has been fishing since he was 5, hooked the 9.58-foot bull shark Tuesday while fishing north of the Palm Beach Inlet, The Palm Beach (Fla.) Post reported Wednesday. "This thing was huge," Medley said. The massive shark is believed to top a 1981 record for largest shark landed in Florida -- a 517-pound behemoth captured at Panama City Beach. The boy's family said it planned to submit the catch for certification as a record. "Of course, I'm happy. I'm proud," said Maureen Murray, Aidan's mother. "It's not really surprising to me. I'm still pretty happy." Murray had reason not to be surprised by the catch -- last summer Medley reeled in a 461-pound shark. Boy gets $650 bill for bike crash A Mesa, Ariz., woman says her 7-year-old son is being billed $650 by the owners of a van that collided with him while he was riding his bicycle. Jessica Brovitch said her son received scrapes and bruises from the crash and police declined to file a report because of the property damage was minor, The East Valley Tribune reported Wednesday. However, a few days after the crash, Brovitch received a call from the driver of the van, Norma Hughes. "She left a message mentioning she would like to stop over for an estimate," Brovitch said. "I thought at first ... 'estimate? For what?'" She said Hughes wanted $900 to repaint her van and replace a flat tire. Brovitch said she refused, but the van's owners called her five more times before someone from Allstate insurance called and said a request for $650 had been turned over to a collection agency. "If they want to continue pursuing this, we'll obviously get an attorney," Brovitch said. "It's just outrageous." The newspaper said it contacted Hughes for a comment, but she passed the telephone to a man who did not identify himself and said only that the issue "is still in dispute." ======================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: . / \ / . \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / ,--._ \ \ / /___'o--o' \ \ / /#####| \ \ / /######|~~~~~~~~~~\ \ / `-----------------' \ `-----------------------' jrei >Signs, Signs and More Signs From all Around the World 1) A sign in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE. ----------------------------- 2) Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. ----------------------------- 3) Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? ----------------------------- 4) Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID. ----------------------------- 5) At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY. ----------------------------- 6) Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. ----------------------------- 7) Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE. ----------------------------- 8) Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. ----------------------------- 9) Sign in men's toilet in Japan: TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT. ----------------------------- 10) On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. ----------------------------- 11) In a restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO. ----------------------------- 12) On an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS. ----------------------------- 13) In a maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED. ----------------------------- 14) In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES. ----------------------------- 15) Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. ----------------------------- 16) On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. ----------------------------- 17) In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. ----------------------------- 18) In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN. ----------------------------- 19) Hotel room notice, Chiang Mai, Thailand: PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM. ----------------------------- 20) Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE. ------------------------- 21) Hotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE. ----------------------------- 22) Hotel elevator, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK. ----------------------------- 23) Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID. ----------------------------- 24) In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY. ----------------------------- 25) Hotel, Vienna: IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER. ----------------------------- 26) Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE. ----------------------------- 27) An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS. ----------------------------- 28) A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. ----------------------------- 29) Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. ----------------------------- 30) On the door of a Moscow hotel room (during Communist rule): IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT. =============================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: ,-~. : .o \ `. _/`. `. `. `. `. ` .`. `. ``.`. _._.-. -._`. `.``. _.' .`. `. `. _.' ) \ ' .' _. " .'.-.'._ _.-' " ;' _'-.-' " ; _._.-.-; `.,,_; ,..,,,.:" %-' `._.-' \_/ :;; | | : : | | { } \| || || || mb _ ;; _ "-' ` -" Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying. The mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night. The baby stork says, "Aw, Nowhere. Just scaring the heck out of college students!" -<>- A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter "R" and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: "Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare." In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud. The boy nervously eyed his classmates - many of them already laughing at him - then replied, "Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough." -<>- An elderly gentleman checked into a New York hotel. The clerk mentioned the phone service the establishment made available for calling guests who wished to rise at an early hour. "No need for that, young man," snapped the old timer. "I always wake up at five A.M. sharp - without an alarm clock." "Very good, sir," the clerk replied, then asked, "Would you mind calling me at six?" -<>- Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?" The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars." "I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?" "Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear." "Well, you can't be disappointed with that!" "Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars." "Incredible... so how come you look so glum?" "Well, this week...nothing!" -<>- M ' ` | :|`-._ | :|`-._`-._ / ::\ `-._`-._ / ::\ `-(_) |_________| / / `-' / / / / / / / / ________________/ _&_______ /8P' `' Y888/ /P' ____________ Y8/ /' /\ / / / / . \ \ / / / / // \ \ / / / VK / // \ \___________/ / / /// \ \ __ / /8 `' \/ /_/ ./ /88b.____________________.8/ When I worked as a technical-support specialist for a com- puter company, customer help calls ranged from the mundane to the bizarre. One memorable problem I had to trouble-shoot came from a man who complained that every time he flushed his toilet, his computer would reboot. It turned out that he lived in a rural area with water supplied by a well with an electric pump. Every time he flushed, it would turn on the pump, causing a dip in the electric power, which in turn would cause the computer to restart itself. -<>- A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I'd have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He's very bright and quick- witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well..." "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It's YOUR child!" *-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------* A man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot. As carefully and as gently as he could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and stared at him intently. For a long minute the man stood frozen - thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day. One day the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. It stared at him and the man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly, then it continued to stare at him. The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him. Probably wasn't the same elephant. ======================================================== ( "You're looking better today, ) ( George." ) \ __________ \ //////////\\ ______________________ ////////// \\\ | | | /// __ __ \\\ | | | /|| | | ||\ | | | \_ (__) _/ | | | \ ///\\\ / | | | ____/\________/\____ | | | _____/` \ \ / /.'`\__________| | |__ /`.`. `\ \_/ /` .`` \ |_ | _| /. ' / `\_/_\_/`.'`\.`' \ (__) | (__) /` . /' .` _| |_ `. '.\` .`\ (__) | (__) _/. ` /`` . /_____\.' . '\. `'\_____(__) | (__)__ \` `.\. `.(__ \______/.'` > | | | __\` .`\' .(__ |.`' ' '` .`/______|__________|___________|__ \`. `\'`(______|__________/ | @ | \____\`.|~~~~~|.' . .| \_________________/ /_ _ _\_|_____|______| /______|__|_______\ ____\ \ \ \\__[__]_______|____________/ |__ /\_\_\_\ \ / / / ___/ / |_________/ / /___ / ___ / ___ / JRO | | | @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "Well thanks, Walter. I feel better, too. Getting my nose fixed was a good idea. After that, I got a new haircut, trimmed my moustache; hell, I even took a bath!" / __________ / //////////\\ ______________________ ////////// \\\ | | | /// __ __ \\\ | | | /|| (O| |(O ||\ | | | \_ (__) _/ | | | \ ///\\\ / | | | ____/\________/\____ | | | _____/` \ \ / /.'`\__________| | |__ /`.`. `\ \_/ /` .`` \ |_ | _| /. ' / `\_(_)_/`.'`\.`' \ (__) | (__) /` . /' .` _| |_ `. '.\` .`\ (__) | (__) _/. ` /`` . /_____\.' . '\. `'\_____(__) | (__)__ \` `.\. `.(__ \______/.'` > | | | __\` .`\' .(__ |.`' ' '` .`/______|__________|___________|__ \`. `\'`(______|__________/ | @ | \____\`.|~~~~~|.' . .| \_________________/ /_ _ _\_|_____|______| /______|__|_______\ ____\ \ \ \\__[__]_______|____________/ |__ /\_\_\_\ \ / / / ___/ / |_________/ / /___ / ___ / ___ / JRO | | | @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "Yeah, that's the part I noticed most." \ __________ \ //////////\\ ______________________ ////////// \\\ | | | /// __ __ \\\ | | | /|| (O| |O) ||\ | | | \_ (__) _/ | | | \ ///\\\ / | | | ____/\________/\____ | | | _____/` \ \ / /.'`\__________| | |__ /`.`. `\ \_/ /` .`` \ |_ | _| /. ' / `\_(_)_/`.'`\.`' \ (__) | (__) /` . /' .` _| |_ `. '.\` .`\ (__) | (__) _/. ` /`` . /_____\.' . '\. `'\_____(__) | (__)__ \` `.\. `.(__ \______/.'` > | | | __\` .`\' .(__ |.`' ' '` .`/______|__________|___________|__ \`. `\'`(______|__________/ | @ | \____\`.|~~~~~|.' . .| \_________________/ /_ _ _\_|_____|______| /______|__|_______\ ____\ \ \ \\__[__]_______|____________/ |__ /\_\_\_\ \ / / / ___/ / |_________/ / /___ / ___ / ___ / JRO | | | Jonathon R. Oglesbee >-->Some of the best Norm Peterson quotes from "Cheers": "What's shaking, Norm?" "All four cheeks & a couple of chins." "What's new, Normie?" "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach & they're demanding beer." "What'd you like, Normie?" "A reason to live. Give me another beer." "What'll you have, Normie?" "Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of the tap." "Looks like beer, Norm." "Call me Mister Lucky." "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?" "Like a baby treats a diaper." "What's the story, Mr. Peterson?" "The Bobsey Twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending." "Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you." "I know, if she calls, I'm not here." "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'" "Whatcha up to, Norm?" "My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall." "How's it going, Mr. Peterson?" "Poor." "I'm sorry to hear that." "No, I mean pour." "How's life treating you, Norm?" "Like it caught me sleeping with its wife." "Women. Can't live with 'em.... pass the beer nuts." "What's going down, Normie?" "My butt cheeks on that bar stool." "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?" "Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty." "How's it going, Mr. Peterson?" "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear." "What's the story, Norm?" "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer." "Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?" "A little early, isn't it, Woody?" "For a beer?" "No, for stupid questions." ======================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit: What Is Love 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wlove2.html Humor With The Troops 4 http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/humor4.html Who Is WE? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoiswe.html Veggie Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/veggie.html Backpack Cat! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/backpack.html Amazing Stairways! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stairs.html Chinese Wal Mart! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chinawalmart.html Humor In Politics 6 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics6.htm Thinkers And Their Desks http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desks.html -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: He Is Alive http://www.buffaloschips.com/gsssj.htm Incident Action http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghsjsk.htm Italian Police Motorcycle Drill Team http://www.buffaloschips.com/gsaaj.htm PD Budget http://www.buffaloschips.com/gaaah.htm Great tequila Commercials http://www.buffaloschips.com/gaajs.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com =============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "My father says, 'Marry a girl who has the same belief as the family.' I said, 'Dad, why would I marry a girl who thinks I'm a schmuck?'" --Adam Sandler Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. "Business analysts say that McDonald's is doing really well lately because Americans have to spend more money on gas so they're going to McDonald’s rather than more expensive rest- aurants. So basically, as Americans have to spend more for oil they're looking to pay less for grease." --Jay Leno "A heat wave was gripping the entire country. This week scientists in Boulder, Colorado, installed what they call 'an early warning system to detect global warming.' The scientists say that they call their global warming detection device a 'thermometer.'" --Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 CChristian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************