We Had it Hard... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) I'm still plugging away on the web pages getting them so they appear correctly on cellphones, iphones and other high end devices. As always, I'm Working On It! :) -<>- >HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This hot tottie is from our friend Linda. This one is For all you Woodie lovers! These are sure to delight you! Check them out here... _______/_____ D'-. | / ) '(o)'-.....'(O)' ind Classic Woodies! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woodcars.html --- ...There are some beauts here! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Peace At Last .-' | '-. .' | '. / | \ A wise old gentleman retired and purchased ; | ; a modest home near a junior high school. He | | | spent the first few weeks of his retirement ; /|\ ; in peace and contentment. \ /` | `\ / './` | `\.' Then a new school year began. The very next '-.__|__.-' afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. Used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans." The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they did accept his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. .---. A few days later, the wily retiree approached |#__| them again as they drummed their way down the =;===;= street. "Look," he said, "I haven't received / - - \ my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going ( _'.'_ ) to be able to give you more than 25 cents. .-`-'^'-`-. Will that be okay?" | `>o<' | / : \ "A lousy quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. / /\ : /\ \ "If you think we're going to waste our time, .-'-/ / .-. \ \-'-. beating these cans around for a quarter, |_/ /-' '-\ \_| you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!" /| | |\ (_| /^\ |_) And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for | | | | the rest of his days. jgs | | | | '==='= ='===' ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ May 5th is Oyster Day May 6 is Beverage Day and National Tourist Appreciation Day May 7 is School Nurses Day May 8 is No Socks Day May 9 is Lost Sock Memorial Day May 10 is National Train Day May 11 is Eat What You Want Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: __ _ / l \~-_ ,----~~~~--+-----`--~----____ @ /~_~\ | ~ | /~_~\~~~-, \_ ( (_) ) \_______| ( (_) )_-~ ~~\___/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\___/~ John Punshon >Cross-Country Move When we moved across the country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?" "We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him. "Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted. "Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped. "Okay," he said. "I'm riding with Mom." -<>- >Old Dryer With five of her eight children still living at home, my mom is constantly doing laundry. Much to her dismay, her 21-year-old dryer finally gave up the ghost. She bought a new one at the local appliance store, and with the service that comes in small towns, it was delivered the same afternoon. The owner of the store, even hauled the old dryer away. The next morning he called Mom and asked if she wanted the load of wet clothes she had left in the old dryer. -<>- >Quick Thinking As I approached my husband-to-be at the front of the church, I noticed tears in his eyes. I knew he was about to break down. To lighten the moment I made some outrageous faces at him. It worked! The ceremony proceeded smoothly and I was proud of my quick thinking ... until I saw the video. -<>- >Shopping Emergency My mother and my wife, both nurses, were shopping together when a woman in a nearby dressing room fell unconscious. Mom discovered that the woman wasn't breathing, so she and my wife started CPR and revived the shopper just as paramedics arrived. They loaded the woman onto a gurney and were rolling her out of the store when she yelled, "Stop!" My mother and my wife thought maybe she wanted to thank them, but instead she said, "I still want to buy those dresses." ->- ___________ `:::::::::' ':::::::' -._:::::::_.- :""""""""""""""""": : . \ .- . : : : 0 0 .' : : ' ..::. : : ::::::: : .': ':::::' :`. : : "" : : `. : __ :.' ": .' ". : : : : : : ' : :_____ _____: __ : : :.--. grp ." " : ' : '. : .' `-...-"'-..-" Mr. Grumpy >We Had it Hard..... When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up. What with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year-round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way I was going to lay that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But.... Now that I've reached the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves! And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen! And then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! And there were no MP3s or Napsters! If you wanted free music you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up! You want to hear about hardship? We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was, it could be your boss, your Mom, a collections agent, you didn't know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids"! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win; the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died! Just like LIFE! When you went to the movie theater, there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy sat in front of you, you watched his hairstyle! And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning... D'ya hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled! You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) _.-""""-. ( ': '. .___.' : : _.."----".._ .-" "-. ." ". .":.".. .' `. : '.' : :" "": : .-" .'""-: .-"""-. :": : : ". .' `. : " '-._ : : _:" : : "" : : : : _ : : : '. : : : `#. ' : : _:. : '. ' `#. : grp : '._ .' : . ." .-" :"-._ _.-" (_. '. ""------"" (_.: . : '.:`-' .::"- .:::::. .':::::::: ' `::::' " An older man walks into a bar wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard. He sits down at a bar and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, "Going to a party?" "Yeah, a costume party," the man answers, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life." "But you look like Abe Lincoln," protests the bartender. "That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago." -<>- The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. "Paddy," he said, "I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day." "Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done?" -<>- A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table - but the man stared straight ahead. The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table.Still, the man stared straight ahead. The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table." The man calmly looked up at her and said, "No, she didn't. She just walked in." --- ...LOL! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) _..-------.._ .-"--..__ __."-. ." """" ". .:: :.. .' ""----...._________..-`. ::::::' : __:::::::::: .. : ______......--.--:::::::::::::-" .:: ::::::::::(::::##::##::_:::::::::"::: .:-.:::_ :::::::::_::::::#:::#:::#"::::::: " '-::::::::::::::-#:::::::::::::::#::::::::: .:::::::::::::::#:::::::::::::#:::::::' : ::::::":"""----:::#::::::::::::#---"" _.: " '-' : __...--"" : :---...____....----""" ___..-": : ______......--""" : :""""" : `.----.....______....----.' .--. ":::::::::::::::::::::/:..:::::: grp "-:::::::::::::::-"':::::::::: ::::::---"" .::::::::: .:::::/_.._ ::::::::' :::::::::::::. '-::-" '::::::::::::: `--::::::-' Mr. Bump >SMILES A widower went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife. The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room. Suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife. "Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?" "Yes, my husband." "Are you happy?" "Yes, my husband." "Happier than you were with me?" "Yes, my husband ... much happier!" "Then Heaven must be an amazing place!" "Uhhh ... I'm not in Heaven, dear." -------- I was walking through the local supermarket the other day when I saw a grandfather walking around with his 2 year old grandson. It was obvious that the grandpa wasn't having an easy time of it, with the siren-like voice of his cherished youngling scaling upwards every time candy or toys came into view. The grandfather, however, kept his cool, and intoned softly to the child: "Ron, relax, it won't take long." When the screaming didn't stop, the grandpa continued: "Ron, there's no reason to get angry, try to enjoy this walk and in a minute we'll be on the way home, promise." When I came out of the store I saw them in the parking lot, the child screaming and the older man still talking softly and quiety to him. I couldn't help myself. I walked over to him. "Sir," I said, "I have to say you are an amazing grandfather. The way you talk to the boy and keep your calm despite all of this screaming - Ron's a lucky kid to have a grandpa like you." "Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm Ron.This little bugger's name is Michael." ------- Ralphie was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!" --- ...LMAO! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: I'd like to think that if I were ever tempted into a life of crime I'd be a little smarter than this Mensa drop-out. It seems a former guard at a Cripple Creek casino in Colorado figured out a way to skim the place for a staggering $100,000 in cash. The story doesn't say, but we can assume he did this over a period of time. But I guess the lure of all that cash laying around under his mattress was too much of a temptation. After quitting the casino he casually walked into a Harley Davidson dealership and plopped down $6,000 for a used motorcycle. That is $6,000 in $20 bills. Investigators into the money leaking out of the casino began to suspect the former guard, who earned a little over a thousand dollars a month, when he spent $35,000 in one month, in cash. But he wasn't completely unprepared for being caught. He had a story all cooked up. He told investigators the money was from payoffs from Honduran drug dealers. Nothing suspicious or illegal there. *-- 19-year-old takes Granny to prom --* ROCKFORD, Ohio (UPI) - Nineteen-year-old Austin Dennison asked an older girl to go with him to his senior prom. Much older, in fact, it was his great-grandmother. Austin Dennison said he asked his Granny DD, Delores Dennison, to prom at Parkway High School in Rockford, because she never went to hers, Fox News reported. "I asked her if she would be my prom date," he said. "How cool would it be to take my great-grandmother to prom?" "He was so sweet and adamant about it," Delores, 89, said. "I asked him, 'But are you sure that you wouldn't like to take one of the young ladies who could get out there and do everything with you?' He said no. 'I want you.'" "At first she was a bit resistant," the younger Dennison said. "I assured her I was serious and she finally said yes. It was my privilege to take her." Delores said she had a little trouble finding a suitable dress for the occasion because they were either "too high or too low." The two enjoyed a dinner at her favorite restaurant, Bob Evans, before the dance, and at the event Austin presented his great-grandmother with a pearl necklace. "It was wonderful and I just loved all the girls in their fancy gowns and the gentlemen in their tuxedos. It was quite a night," Delores said. "Everyone there just could not have been more polite. Everyone got an A+." *-- Omaha man kisses people at Walgreens, licks employee's head before arrest --* OMAHA (UPI) - A Nebraska man made his way through a Walgreens store in Omaha dispersing pecks and pinching rumps before capping things off by licking an employee's head on his way out. Needless to say, he got arrested. The unnamed 35-year-old man was an equal opportunity creeper, as he reportedly "kissed and groped women and a man" inside the store. After a stop at the photo processing area, the man moved on to aisle nine and "grabbed a customer's buttocks," the Omaha World-Herald reported. He then said, "Hey baby," to a woman and kissed her while grabbing her behind. The man, who was also tossing items off shelves as he made his way through the store, briefly left before coming back and sitting on a counter. As police were taking him out, the man licked an employee's head to say goodbye. He was charged with misdemeanor sexual assault and three counts of disturbing the peace. *-- Toronto Public Library asked to remove Dr. Seuss' 'Hop on Pop' because of violent themes --* TORONTO (UPI) - Librarians at the Toronto Public Library were asked to remove copies of Dr. Seuss' 1963 children's book "Hop on Pop" from the establishment's collection because it allegedly promotes violence. A document detailing the seven books the library has been asked to remove over the past year was posted online on Monday. The book "encourages children to use violence against their fathers," according to the complaint. In addition to apologizing to fathers in the Toronto area, the complainant also asked that the library "pay for damages resulting from the book." The Materials Review Committee pointed out that the book is "humorous," "well-loved" and that it has "appeared on many 'Best of' children's book lists." The MRC also pointed out that the children in the Pulitzer Prize-winning author's book are actually told not to hop on pop. Despite the complaint, the library opted to retain the book in the children's collection. *-- John Rufty struck by plane while riding lawn mower at Taylorsville Airport --* ALEXANDER COUNTY, N.C. (UPI) - An elderly North Carolina man lost his hand after he was struck by a plane while riding a lawn mower at Taylorsville Airport in Alexander County. The pilot of the plane, 84-year-old Edward Eugene Sisson, didn't see 74-year-old John Rufty on his lawn mower until just before impact. Rufty's left hand was severed by the propeller of the plane during the collision. State Highway Patrol Sergeant Brian Owenby told the New York Daily News that Sisson was touching down on the airport's grass landing strip on his way to visit family in the area. No one was on hand to warn Rufty about the plane because the airport doesn't have a traffic controller. "(Rufty) wouldn't have been able to hear or see the plane coming," Owenby said. "And the pilot was unable to see the driver until just before impact." The National Transportation and Safety Board and the Federal Aviation Administration are investigating the incident but no charges are pending at this time. Sisson was not injured during the accident. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: /\ / \ _-| ,' \ _,m; | d| L _mdMP' | dM| | ,dMMMF | dMM| | dMMMMF .' ,MMM| |-'""`-./`QMM| | |MMMJ | | `.RP"| ,' |MMMMl |,-;'`. |\`.| ,/ ,d| |MMMM'\,',' \ | `.|'/,MMF |MP"` / / \ | | q/ _t| /,' _____ | /___ | ,' -' `.| | / _._\ |'|,m.)|<:_ ,' ,-'| | \ |MMMD `^"'.| `. | / | |__`>`''-'"".\ | | |,'____\ `---'_--'" ` / \ `. /-' |--._ .__--"' (, ) \ |-'\ | \\-. //`-' `. /| || || \ __// | / | >``--[ | \_-""".,/`._\ | ,' | |-' `\ ,' / ,' |,' | |,----..' ( /`. ' `. ||____|| `-' `. > `-..._|.m. _.m| / `.._.qMMMMMMMD CMMM| / `VML. `V' | VMML..___.,-' | | ,mmm._ /| | ,dMMMMP""``-.___,-' | | ,dMMMMP"' / _.- | dMMMMMMb | | | dMMMMMMMb. / | | ' `"qMM| `. | _,-` `M` `-.___.,^----' | `. | |' | .' `-_ _| | | | `-._____,-' `\_J |md| |MMb |MM| ,mmMMMMMMMUD |MMMMMMSmr. hjm `"qMMMMP"' `"""^^^^^" >Ten Step Guide to Being Handy Around the House: 1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver. 2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help. 3. Despite what you may have been told by your mother, praying and cursing are both helpful in home repair... but only if you are working alone. 4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can... many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator. 5. If it's electronic, get a new one. 6. Keep it simple: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning it to the "on" switch; or just paint over it. 7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have fixed it. 8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help. 9. If something looks level, it is level. 10. Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid. -<>- A young man confided to his mother that he had proposed to his girlfriend and they were going to get married. "Whatsa dis?" screamed Mother. "Who's a-gonna love you like a Momma? Who's a gonna starch-a you socks? Who's a gonna make-a you lasagna?" "Please, Mom, calm down," pleaded the son. "Why are you talking like that? We aren't even Italian!" -<>- On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great- grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me." -<>- A man was trying to pull out of a parking place, and bashed the bumper of the parked car in front of him. Witnessed by a handful of pedestrians waiting for a bus, the driver got out, inspected the damage, and proceeded to write a note to leave on the windshield of the car he had hit. The note read: "Hello. I have just hit your car, and there are some people here watching me who think that I am writing this note to leave you my name and phone number. You should be so lucky!" -<>- "YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY..." "Everything Comes In Threes" - Not true. In reality, every- thing comes in ones. Sometimes, when three "ones" come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times, it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern. "You Can't Take It With You (when you die)" - Well..., that depends on what it is. If it's your dark blue suit, you can certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take it with you, you can probably put some things in your pockets. "You Learn Something New Every Day" - Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because you've just learned it, doesn't mean it's new. Other people already knew it, Columbus is a good example of this. "You Get What You Pay For" - Clearly this is not true. Have you been shopping recently? Only a very naive person would believe that you get what you pay for. In point of fact, if you check your purchases carefully, you'll find that you get whatever they feel like giving you. And if corporations get any more powerful, you soon might not even get that. "NICE GUYS FINISH LAST" - Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys finish third in a field of six. Actually, short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval times, it was widely believed that nice guys finished twenty-sixth. You can see how limited those people were. -<>- Heading down the interstate, our car passed through a huge swarm of gnats so dense that their bodies made popping noises as they hit the windshield. "I can't get over how loud they are," my wife said. "Well, we are hitting them at 65 miles an hour," I pointed out. Her reply left me speechless. "There's no way bugs can fly that fast!" ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: /|_\|/_/| , ,--,-. . / ( O O ) \ | (___)' | |. , | / '-'\__,' | //|. \\\ \ ||| , `-'|\\ ||| ' ||| c D ' , c D UU ' '-' ' UU \ __ / __|| ||__ (___/ \___) [lf] >The Genealogy of Mr. Jack Schitt The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parent's objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them. -<>- , |'. , | '-._ / ) .' .._ ', /_'-, ' / _'.'_\ /._)') : / '_' '_' / _.' |E | |Q| |Q| / / .' _\ '-' '-' / .'--.(S ,__` ) / '-. _.' / __.--'----( / _.-' : __\ / ( __.' :' :Y '. '._, : :| '. ) :.__:| \ \______/ '._L/_H____] /_ / / '-.__.-') : / / : / / ,/_____/----; '._____)----' / / / / / / .' / \ snd (______(-.____) >SIGNS YOU ARE BROKE 1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant. 3. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank. 4. You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln. 5. Long distance companies don't call you to switch. 6. You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes. 7. Your rob Peter...and then rob Paul. 8. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change. 9. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment. 10. Your bologna has no first name. 11. You give blood everyday...just for the orange juice. 12. Sally Struthers sends you food. 13. McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments. 14. At communion you go back for seconds. -<>- _.---.__ .' `-. / .--. | \/ / / |_/ `\/|/ _(_) _.--' `. .---<_.---. \ / \ | | __ __ /| |/ \ / \ / | \| | | | |>/ __\@@/ |@@| _ ><_) ( _ `--' ) | >-- (_ ----' | / `-._____.- ' aaa\ ( ,#'| \ ,#'/ `._______.aad##'/ Joshua Bell `#########""'' `&#' "#b" >Things Bill Clinton Would Say if He Were in Star Wars 10. "Luke, I am your father. Obi-Wan, I'm your father, too. And that Queen chick? I'm her daddy for sure. And Leia's. And Lando's, and Boba Fett's, and Jabba the Hutt's, and Chewie's, and..." 9. "Wretched hive of scum and villainy? Woo-hoo, count me in!" 8. "I think the American people would like a little more bass in my theme music." 7. "Dispose of that troublesome young Jedi, Vince Skyfoster -- and make it look like a suicide." 6. "I did not have sexual relations with that wookie, Ms. Chewinsky." 5. "It's a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away -- and I'm still a lyin' weasel." 4. "Cholesterol does not concern me, Admiral. I want that Big Mac -- not excuses." 3. "Sorry about that lightsaber, Sugar. Just consider it laser dental work." 2. "These are not the droids you're looking for, Ma'am. Say, it's getting hot in here -- you might want to take off your top." 1. "She's my sister?!? Well, back on my home planet of Arkansas, that ain't an obstacle!" ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Creation Museum! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/creationmuseum.html Montreal Gardens! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/montreal.html Salvation Mountain! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/salvation.html Keukenhof Gardens! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/niagarafalls.html Cano Cristales River! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cristales.html Grand Canyon Skywalk! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skywalk.html Enter At Your Own Risk! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skywalk.html Sgt.Reckless - war horse hero http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sgtreckless.html Sgt.Stubby - war dog hero http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stubbywardog.html Lighthouses Of The World! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lighthouses.html -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA! Alexandra Savina performs a ring dance called "Ring-o-graphy" in this creative and entertaining video. The video was directed by Taras Pozdnyakov and features the soundtrack of "Drowning Together, Dying Alone" from Black Light Burns. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=JLkU1kZrsWU A super cut version of cats who just have to fit themselves in any container they find - no matter how much smaller it is than themselves! A hilarious, adorable video that will put a smile to your face and leave it there. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=cKXzrWSdgOE "In the town of Agra, capital of the Mughal empire in Northern India, lived in the 17 century a queen, and a very old gardener who took loving care of the fairy tale gardens of the Taj Mahal, a magnificent mausoleum of white marble, whose main entrance was guarded by two immense elephants." https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=JBNgQvUVryc --- ...Ooo, cool Links! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- I will Follow Him! CONDUCTOR IS ANDRE RIEU. ENJOY... https://www.youtube.com/embed/FcLF5wopyjo --- ...Oh Yeah!! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A New York man is being sued for a quarter of a million dollars after his ex-girlfriend claimed he harassed her with nearly a hundred emails. If 100 emails are worth a quarter of a million dollars, that means Crate & Barrel owes me $256 billion." -Seth Meyers "Facebook has come out with a new feature that lets people see where their friends are at all times. It's called, 'Nearby Friends,' which is better than the original title, 'Avoiding Relatives.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Ronald McDonald recently received a makeover, which includes a new vest and bow tie. Not to be outdone, after an operation the Burger King is now the Burger Queen." -Conan O'Brien "Facebook has acquired a new mobile app that would allow users to track their exercise and measure how many calories they've burned. So if you love Facebook, and you love exercise, you're lying about one of those." -Seth Meyers "Aquaman is making his big screen debut in the upcoming Justice League movie. I'm not clear how Aquaman will get into the Justice League headquarters. It's an all-glass building with no rivers or streams leading to it. It gives me a bad feeling that Aquaman arrives through the toilet." -Craig Ferguson "Producers are currently working on a remake of the classic 1959 Charlton Heston film 'Ben-Hur.' They're calling the remake 'Ben-Hur, Done That.'" Jimmy Fallon "Today the Pentagon announced they are going to spend millions shooting clouds with super-lasers to create more precipitation. Lasers that control the weather are hard to explain. Basically they hit the cloud and create nitric acid particles that bind water molecules to create condensation nuclei. I hope that clears it up for you." -Craig Ferguson "Today is Earth Day. At least according to the guy who saw me throw a banana peel in the blue trash can." -Seth Meyers "They're auctioning off stuff from the Titanic. There's a menu of what was being served in the dining room the night the 'Titanic' sank. And listen to this, the salad they were featuring: iceberg lettuce. True story." -Dave Letterman "She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon." - Groucho Marx "Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant." - Cary Grant >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************