Welcome to 2007 ... :) Shangy! >-->HAPPY NEW YEAR! WECOME To 2007!! HERE ARE Some SMILES JUST FOR YOU! _ _ _ _ _ _ | | /| |\ |\ |\ / |\ |_| |___| _ _ _ | \ | _ / | _ _ ,_ _ | | / | | \ | \ / | | \ | /_\ / / | \___|//_\ / | | ` / \ \| |/\_|/|_/_/|_/_/\_| \| \| \__/\_\_| /| \__/\_|/| \_/ ' | | /| ` ( | | | \| \| . `: : : . : . [""] | | | | | | : .'--`. _..-~-.._ : .: /`.__.'\ .' `. : . / \ .' .-'''''-. `. ,-'``'-. ; ; / ,' XII `. \ |`-..-'| | ,--. | / / /|\ \ \ | . :| |_.','`.`._| | ; | ; | | . : | |--'1997`--| | |IX o III| | |`-..-'| || | | | | | ; ; | \::::::/ ||)|/|)|)|\| | \ / | `::::' |._ ~**~ _.| ------| `. V I ,' |----)(----| `-..-' |------- _____j `-.....-' | )( | |,--. ____/ / /\\ ,-._.--------.-.-' ,-')('-. | |\`;/ .-()___ : |`.!,-'`'/`-._ (___) ( ' ` )`-._ _.-'|;,| `-, \_\__\`,-'>-.,-._ `-....-' ```` `--' hjw `-._ (`- `-._`-.` TIME'S 25 TOP 10 2006 LISTS: http://www.time.com/time/topten/2006/ 25Top10Lists -<>- >From Our Friend Pat :) HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!! HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS SITE!! - A Wonderful NEW YEAR SITE: http://www.byjoy.com/HappyNewYear.html ================================================================ >-->From The Mouthpiece: David Letterman's Top Ten George W. Bush New Year's Resolutions: 10. Fewer decisions based on wild, drunken hunches 9. Have N.S.A. find out what really happened between Nick and Jessica 8. Stop using Situation Room monitors to play X-Box 360 7. More C-SPAN, less "Yes, Dear" 6. Team up with leading scientists to make Cheetos even cheesier 5. To capture and bring to justice King Kong 4. Beat the twins at beer pong 3. Respond to reporters questions with, "B*#@$, don't go there" 2. Scale back on grueling 12-hour work week 1. "Who needs resolutons? Everythng is fine" ================================================================== >-->OH What FUN They Had HOAXING US In 2006! >From Our Friend Pat :) PIN NUMBER REVERSAL (GOOD TO KNOW) If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your PIN number in reverse. For example if your PIN number is 1234 then you would put in 4321. The ATM recognizes that your PIN number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine. The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help you. This information was recently broadcasted on TV and it states that it is seldom used because people don't know it exists. Who knew... Please pass this along to everyone possible! -------------------- ...YEAH, THIS WOULD BE NICE - - - but for now. The technology exists which would allow ATM users to contact police in an emergency by punching in their PIN (personal identification number) in reverse, but as of this writing [10/17/06] it has not yet been implemented anywhere in the United States. Visit here for the rest: http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_reverse_pin.htm FALSE Hopes BTW This was Number 10 on the Top 10 countdown of Hoaxs for 2006! Visit Here for the rest: http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/internet/a/2006_top_ten.htm Top 10 Hoaxes for 2006 ======================================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: Welcome to 2007, folks. Yep, we're still here. If you don't think today's "In My Day" list is the funniest thing you've read all week you need a funny bone replacement. Laugh it up, Joe --- The Washington Post had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had it "in the old days." Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below. Second Runner-Up: In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction. First Runner-Up: In my day, we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you'd weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we'd use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn't adjust our skates, which didn't really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today. And the winner: In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads. Honorable Mentions: In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes. In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated. In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked- off voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar. In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms. Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise. Back in my day, '60 Minutes' wasn't just a bunch of gray- haired, liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray- haired, liberal 60-year-old guys. Back in my day, they hadn't invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight. --- Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground. The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. the second threw his watch and made only two steps before hearing his watch shatter. The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch." How did you do that?" asked one of his friends. "My watch is 20 minutes slow." ======================================================================= >-->From The Jokester: Your Cat's New Year's Resolutions )\ _, | "^" ( (e a ) =-\Y -= T"^) _ / ( (( / < _ ';, ( ) ) \\ \ Y ' / )) || ; / // )| ( (__,- >The True Hazards Of Drinking... the computer has been drinking... not me... _.,_ ,-'.' .`-, ;; '. ' `. ;` - _ _,-; ' ; `. ,% .-, - *click* ,_.,-'` ';; ; : ;%' | | \ ___ _._,-`'\ `'-`' _.,' `. ) __,--`-,,`' ,._,.-`-., _.,-.--.-,`''` | _| |__ `---'////\ / .-, `-`-^--`'^`-...,,| | |.,/ //\)(/ `-\.-. | `-' ( .-; | | ,. `-~ ~~-. `._.' ,/ / `~ ~~~ ~~ /,.`) // / /_ `/ ( `/ `-' If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter! Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a garbage truck at 100 yards. Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jerk, with assorted things on your head -- lampshades, fruit baskets, underwear... Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay things like thish. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants (panties) anyway. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). Warning: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more handsome, and smarter than some really, really, really big biker guy named "Big Al." Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy. -<>- >An Et-Ahem - The Biker Bar A drunk walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says, "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway butt naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma, and she is good, the best I ever had !" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says...... "Grandpa,.......Go home, you're drunk!" -<>- >An Et-Ahem! - What Would You Do? You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Scroll Down for the answer Get your drunk butt off the merry-go-round! -<>- Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. See....You've met your New Year's resolution Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. Q: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common? A: Nothing............. yet. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping", now I just "chunky dunk". Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press :'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. ====================================================================== >-->The Diet "My stomach has been bothering me, Doctor," complained the patient. "What have you been eating?" asked the doctor. "That's easy. I only eat pool balls." "Pool balls?!" said the astonished doctor. "Maybe that's the trouble. What kind do you eat?" "All kinds," replied the man, "Red ones for breakfast, yellow and orange ones for lunch, blue ones for afternoon snacks, and purple and black for dinner." "I see the problem," said the doctor. "You haven't been getting any greens!" .-"""-. / _ \ ___ | (8) | /\````````````"""""""\\\""====---.......,,,,,________ \ ^ / \//_jgs______________///__________________)))________)) '-...-' ========================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Steve :) I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1970. ,--. ,---. / '. / \ \ ; \-| (- -) /`v'\/; ,-----/ ,---/)--. ,' ; ( /////// ) /) ,---| -`-----(\' ; | ---- | ' (| ,-| ---- |-. | /| ---- |\ | |/ | ---- | \| \ : ---- ; | \ \ -- / / ; \ / : / / \/ \ \ /) (\ -hrr- .: Ralph & Son :. Symptoms: 1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. Done That! 2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail! That Too! 3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. Yep! 4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. Who Me? 5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. Well Darn! 6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. Oh No - Not Again! 7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND." I Just Hate That! 8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." Oh No! IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS." --- _.._.-..-._ .-' .' /\ \`._ / / .' `-.\ `. :_.' .. : _.../\ | ;___ .-' //\\. \ _..._ / `/\ // \\\ `-.___.-' /\ //\\ \\: | //\V/ :\\ \\ \ \\/ \\ /\\ `.____.\\ \\ .' \\ // /\\---\\-' \\ fsc // // \\ \\ \\ ...Thanks Steve! I think I got some of that bug tonight! Yep. Terrible thing! I was trying to compose these jokes tonight and decided to be good and make sure I didn't loose my efforts so I saved my composition as I normally do in a temporary document file. This is fine and normal until I noticed I was hit by this bug! It caused me to copy the file in my file I use to save all my list members email addresses! I use a file so they are safe from those who would attack the computer and make it send spam and virus emails out to every name in the address book. So I lost all the group email address's. Go figure. I usually backup my files regularly onto my husband's computer but he has been playing with MS's new windows vista program so his machine hasn't been talking with my machine. The only backup of the file I had was way back in July. It has taken most of the evening to get the addys off of bcc copies I have sent to the group. If I had a recent backup, I am sure this virus would of skipped me and got some other poor unprotected person out there! -<>- >They walk among us...... Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. They Walk Among Us...... One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...."Look at that ! dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said..."where???" They Walk among us...... While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." They Walk Among Us...... I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . . They Walk Among Us...... My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". They Walk Among Us...... I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half pound sirloin. She informed me they only had an 8 ounce sirloin. Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 8 ounce steak instead of the half-pounder. They walk among us...... My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk... They Walk Among Us...... My friends and I were on a Pepsi run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... They Walk Among Us...... I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned... They Walk Among Us...... I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"... They Walk Among Us...... While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. Yep................. They Walk Among Us, too. Not only do they walk among us, /:""| .@@@@@, |:`66|_ @@@@@@@@, C` _) aa`@@@@@@ \ ._| (_ ?@@@@ ) / =' @@@@" /`\\ \(``` || |Y| //`\ || |#| / | || || |#| \ | || || |#| / | || :| |=: / |_|\ ||_|,| | |_| \ \)))|| \ ((( | |~~~`-`~~~| `\ | | | |____| |_________| | || |_________| | || | || | || |_||__ /~)) jgs (____)) /_/YY they also reproduce !!! ---- ...Now Doesn't THAT suck! ;) ========================================================================== >-->STILL Calling All PET Owners |\ || \ | | | /.,, / ( / \ ( \ \ \_\__ .' '--._ ,__,-., / _";__( ,__._7 / ) \_ Y,=; \d ( _.' ~/ 6, '-, \___ ; ( _,-. Y) (C(/\. ) /I-._\(_'-' - You Are Invited - \_\_,-,_ /,,/ '-7) \ |"\_ \ ` \ _\ \_ \___ (` \_ '.<,_))) snd `-\,))) When I told my daughter about my new Dog Gallery, she told me I needed to have a pet gallery for everyone to be able to show off their pet(s). I thought this was a great idea, and am now collecting for my Pet Gallery. It will be on the line of my new Dog Gallery, but the little picture will load a page with a large picture(s) of your pet along with information about your pet that makes him/her special. So here you go. Make your pet famous! Email me with any jpg or gif image or images of your pet along with what breed or type of pet they are. Also tell me something cute, funny or interesting about their unique personality. Once I have enough pets, I'll put the Pet Gallery up and let you know your pet is a star! Not just dogs - any pet will do - only keep it clean for the family, please. No human pets. You can submit as many pets as you have - each will get their own page! Just PLEASE Send me their picture and info! Without your help, there won't be a 'Shangrala's Pet Gallery' page! So come on, PLEASE, lets all pitch in! Visit the dog page here for reference: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/dog.html Dog Gallery NOW. EMAIL ME with picture(s) and info you want to share with the world: >Make YOUR pet(s) Famous: Pet Glory! ========================================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who know math and those who don’t. -<>- (\ )) )\\ (( / .( \\.-"```"'` =_/= > , / \ )__.\ | > / / ||\\ jgs \\ \\ \\ \\ `" `" `" `" Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction. Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric. Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat. Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken. Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat. Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat. Law of Electric Blanket Attraction - Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light. Law of Random Comfort Seeking - A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room. Law of Bag/Box Occupancy - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond. Law of Cat Embarrassment - A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter. Law of Cat Disinterest - A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him. Law of Pill Rejection - Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity. Law of Cat Composition - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter. -<>- Q. Was there really a U.S. President who held the office for just one day? A. Yes. When Zachary Taylor was inaugurated in March 1849, he would not take the Oath of Office on a Sunday. The offices of President and Vice President were vacant at the time, so someone had to be the president and David Rice Atchison, the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, was sworn in as president. ========================================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual." --Mark Twain "Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right." --Oprah Winfrey "Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to." --Bill Vaughn "The first thing I did after being hired as the director of learning technology at a high school was to change the sign outside my door -- the one that had my name followed by the acronym D.O.L.T." "According to a new study, ladies and gentlemen, you can improve your memory by watching less TV, doing crossword puzzles, eating more fish – I can't remember all that." --Dave Letterman "Scientists are saying that if global warming doesn't stop the oceans could rise as much as four and a half feet. One thing all scientists can agree on is that Gary Coleman is going to drown." --Conan O'Brien ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOUSEE :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Subscribe ************************************************************************ >TO UNSUBSCRIBE: Remove ************************************************************************ -->Want to ADVERTISE in The Shangy FUN Listt Publication? >To ADVERTISE: Advertise ************************************************************************ -->Missed Any of These Teachings? 'BABES INN CHRIST','IN The Beginning', 'Crossing The Line','NEVER Give Up', 'FEAR - Feeling Kind Of Buggy', 'HAUNTINGS', 'Christianity And The Renewed Mind', or 'Curse Of The Law' --BE SURE TO Tell me which one you want or you'll get them all :) >For a Lesson: Teaching ************************************************************************ --Want TIPS to help TEACH A CHILD TO BE SAFFE and STOP ABDUCTIONS? Child Help ************************************************************************ --PHYSICIAN FORMULAS = THE BEST PLACE TO GEET IT: Wanta know more? >Visit their Web Site: PhysicianFormulas ************************************************************************ PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS They keep our service "priceless" -->LET'S Have FUN and Do Some SHOPPING!! We've got patches, Phones, Almonds, and Chains, Furniture, Chocolates, Cheese, and Games. Clothing, flowers, dishes, and shoes, Desserts, Cherished Teddies, and Auto Tools. We've got NCAA, NFL, MLB, and NBA, Disney, Name a star, Movies, and KinKade. Jewelry, furs, leather, and lighting, Music, instruments, and magazines at best pricing. >Take a gander at Shangrala's Yellow Page :) http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/yellow.html Get It Here ***********************************************************************