What Have We Learned And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) We've got two hot sizzlers that have the same type theme. Both are most fascinating! Give them plenty of time to load. This first one is from our friend PatdeE.. ___ .'---'. | | .-------. _.-'-------'-._ .'_______________'. .'''''''''''''''''''''.___ _/-|:::::::::::::::::::::| | .-() \-|o O .-. | O |(o) || .. |'-..' .-. ( + ) |___| | .-. (==) .----._ (o/ | ( O-) ___ `-' |====.| / \ || (_o)____) \\ | _____`-' | -| |.''.|| | (o) | || ||// \\.-' | '-.| - | |____|| \ / || ||/ .' \ | / '.-| | -- |' .;:;.__||_____||_____/ / \ | / \=======|'..'| .;': ';.----_....._--' ' -._ \ | / _.- ' _____|____| .;'.' ';.'\ | /`. : '-. .'"'. .-' : |;;;;|;:' .' / \ | / \ ;--------| (o) |--------;==========' .:' : '-. .'"'. .-' : : _.- '._.' -._ : |----|.;' ;----| (o) |----; . _.' / | \ '._ .______|====|;' : .-' '._.' '-. : ;:;\ / | \ /:;:;:;:;:;:;' \ / | \ / LGB `. / | \ .' ' / | \ ' ` . _ _|_ _ .' ' . | . ' Rarely Seen Things http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rarelyseen.html This next one is from our friend Geniann... Rarely Seen Things 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rarelyseen2.html --- ...Awesome !I loved these! Thanks PatDeE and Geniann! -<>- >-->In The 'Shangy' Updates... I'm STILL on a mission! I need to modernize the Animated Gallery by consolidating categories that have 50 or more animations in them into a single page. I worked hard and completed yet another animation page! . . . . ,-,--. __| //``-, \ \_`\ )\a-a-? \ \ \_`(_=_/_-`__ \__, , \| | _ _,' ___7 ) | (_)(_`__(_,---' | ( _( ) | / /_| |________| __/__/__|__|_________) _________(__,_|)/ (__)|/____\(_______________ mic We now have a ANGEL Page you can access off its main Directory here: Animated Gallery A-E http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs.html ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: The "Dear John" Letter ________________ |.--------------.| The soldier serving overseas and far from || ,;;;-, || home was annoyed and upset when his girl || /;/))))) || wrote breaking off their engagement and || (;/ . .(( || and asking for her photograph back. || ):( > )) || || (;)\ = /( || He went out and collected from his friends || )):) .'):) || all the unwanted photographs of women that || .:(:\_(_)( || he could find, bundled them all together || /`::) `\ || and sent them to her with a note stating ||/___________\_|| the following: jgs '----------------' "Regret can not remember which one is you ... please keep your photo and return the others." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ May 20 is Eliza Doolittle Day May 21 is National Memo Day and National Waitresses/Waiters Day May 22 is Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day May 23 is Penny Day May 24 is National Escargot Day May 25 is National Tap Dance Day May 26 is Grey Day ======================================================= ,n888888n, .8888888888b 888888888888nd8P~''8g, 88888888888888 _ `'~\. .n. `Y888888888888. / _ |~\\ (8"8b ,nnn.. 8888888b. | \ \m\|8888P ,d8888888888888888b. \8b|.\P~ ~P8~ 888888888888888P~~_~ `8B_| | ~888888888~'8' d8. ~ _/ ~Y8888P' ~\ | |~|~b,__ __--~ --~~\ ,d8888888b.\`\_/ __/~ \_ d88888888888b\_-~8888888bn. \8888P "Y888888888888"888888bn. /~'\_"__) "d88888888P,-~~-~888 / / ) ~\ ,888888/~' / / / 8' ( / / / |) ) / '"88(/ ~ / / | ( /_/ /~ \( _/ / (_(_ ( /~~\/ , O,/~\___/_/' ~~~ | \_ ( )( \_| -- by Gordon M"uller __--~"mb ,g8888b. _/ 8888b(.8P"~'~---__ / ~~~| / ,/~~~~--, `\ ( ~\,_) (/ ~-_`\ \ -__---~._ \ ~\\ ( )\\ )) `\ ) "-_ `| \__ __/ ~-__ __--~ ~~"~ ~~~ >-->From GoodCleanFun: >Dresses A woman was shopping for outfits for her 50th high-school reunion when a group of teenage girls came in the same shop to try on prom dresses. "This dress makes me look forty years old," one girl remarked. The woman called out, "May I have it? That's just what I'm looking for." -<>- >Ranch Loan My father's method of accounting for the hundreds of cattle on his ranch was very unique. Every spring, he would move the herd down a long ramp, through a wooden gate and into a holding pen for inspection. As each animal entered the pen, he marked the count on the gate. One summer, he went to the bank to apply for a loan, using his cattle for collateral. The bank officer asked to see his records. "No problem," replied Dad. He went back to the ranch, took the gate off its hinges and brought it to the bank. He got the loan. -<>- >Sanctuary Lamp A little boy was listening to a long and excessively boring sermon in church. Suddenly the red sanctuary lamp caught his eye. Tugging his father's sleeve, he said, "When the light turns green, can we go?" -<>- >Sharp Knives A man's newly married daughter complained that she didn't have any sharp knives. He bought her some and phoned later and asked how she liked them. "They're terrific!" she replied enthusiastically. "I've already cut myself five times!" -<>- >12-Hour Shifts A nurse had been doing twelve-hour shifts on a medical/surgical unit. One evening she finally got to enjoy an action movie with her husband. As they were sitting in the theater holding hands. During the exciting chase scene, he turned to her and said. "Look, if you wanna hold hands, fine. But quit taking my pulse, okay?" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ___ ,--[___]--, / \ |,.--'```'--.,| , |'-.,_____,.-'| || |'-.,_____,.-'| || | | _||_ | P A I N T | ///\\\ | | HHHHHH |'-.,_____,.-'| |||||| jgs `'-.,_____,.-'' |||||| Darryl was hired to paint the yellow stripes on a highway. The first day, he painted ten miles of road. The second day, he only painted five. His boss, seeing how he was getting slower, decided to give him a day off, thinking that he needed a rest. When he came back the next day, he only painted 1/2 mile of road. His now discouraged boss asked, "Excuse me, but why have you been painting less and less each day, even after I gave you a day off?" "Simple," Darryl answered. "I keep getting farther away from the paint can!" ------------ A man comes to a doctor and complains, "Doc, please help. When I touch my head ,it hurts, when I touch my belly, it hurts. When I touch my leg, it hurts." The doctor says, " I think I know what's happened to you." 'What?" asks the man. "You've broken your finger." ------------ A man was on vacation in the Caribbean and liking the continual good weather settled down for a day's sunbathing. He fell asleep and after a whole day his legs were sunburnt beyond belief and he could hardly stand for the pain. So he goes along to the doctor for treatment. The doctor looks at his sunburnt legs and said, "well, you realize that this is only a small village surgery and in reality I've really got nothing at all to help you. However, try this and gives him one tablet of Viagra." So the man says "but I've got acute sunburn what's a Viagra tablet going to do?" The doctor says, "basically, nothing at all for the sunburn but it will help keep the sheets off your legs tonight. ------------ Two Jewish businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life, "I get up late in the morning. I have a fantastic breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda and relax. I go inside for lunch, have great salads, the best coffee, and I go out and lie on my veranda again. When it gets dark I have a great dinner with the finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie on my veranda again." The other Jewish gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She asked, "What's his wife's name?" Her husband said, "Well, I'm not sure, but I think its Veranda. --------------- ,,, /\_/\ ,,, \\=('o')=// /////////////////////////////////////////////////// <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ // (( \\ "' )) "' (( ` Information Highway Victim /////////////////////////////////////////////////// <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ jgs&cww Friend 1: "I am totally connected. I have Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Skype, Face Chat and Instagram." Friend 2: "I seriously think you need to get a real life." Friend 1: "OMG, that's a great idea. Can you send me a link?" ------------ A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home in the summer near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks f his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys full of youthful afterschool enthusiasm came down his street beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. "Look" he said, "I haven't received my Social Security (pension) check yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?" "A lousy quarter?!" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!" And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days. ------------ It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But, being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So, the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever." "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy." --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) >So What Have We Learned in 2,065 years? \ \ _______ _____ / _____) /___ \ \ ( - -\ oo \ \ \_\ ^/ (_ )_/ _/ \~/\ \-___/ / " \ / \ / /\ ) ) / | || @@@@ \ \ \____/ | | || @@oo //// \_\/* * \ | | || @@-/ oo ) (~/* * * \ | |_|| @@\ \-/ /* * * * \ ))) |_/ \| ||/ // %%%% /*_*_*_*_*/) oo ) |\\\| ||\ \\%%%oo | | | \\\o/ | | \) \ |%%%-/ | | | \=3=\\ | | ____\|//___\ | | | \__// | | /|| ~-//\\ |_|_| //\\ |___| )\_)(_(_)(_) \___>> (_)(_) (____] JRO "The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance." -- Cicero - 55 BC Well, ...evidently nothing. --- ...LOL! Thanks Geniann! =========================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: Everybody knows that methane is explosive, but I bet this Florida man had no idea just how explosive it can be in the wrong situation. The situation was 53-year-old Willie Butler and his girlfriend of the last six years, 37-year-old Deborah Ann Burns, sitting around, drinking alcohol and discussing personal finance, never a good combination in the first place, but it is what happened next that caused the explosion. When Butler got up from where they were sitting to go to the kitchen (probably for more alcohol), he farted in his girl- friend's face. That is when she blew up! In the ensuing fight Butler allegedly threw a knife at Burns, which missed. She picked up the same knife and threw it back at him, she didn't miss. Police arrived to find a bleeding Butler, who was so drunk he could not give a statement, standing in front of his mailbox. Burns, who denies cutting Butler, was arrested and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. *-- Man shoots self in leg while bowling --* JUPITER, Fla. - A Florida man carrying a revolver in the pocket of his shorts accidentally shot himself while bowling, witnesses said. Police said the man, whose name was not released, was bowling at Jupiter Lanes in Jupiter around 7:30 p.m. Tuesday when he incurred the gunshot wound to his leg, WPBF-TV, West Palm Beach, reported Thursday. Witnesses said the man was carrying a revolver in the pocket of his shorts and the weapon fired off a round when he struck himself in the leg with his bowling ball. The man's injuries were not considered life-threaten- ing, but he was taken to St. Mary's Medical Center as a precaution, police said. *-- Woman files lawsuit against NYPD over topless arrests --* NEW YORK - A performance artist in New York has filed a lawsuit accusing the New York Police Department of violat- ing her civil right to bear her breasts in public. Holly Van Voast filed suit Wednesday against the city and the NYPD, alleging she had been detained, arrested or issued summonses 10 times 2011 and 2012 for showing her breasts, The New York Times reported. In her lawsuit, Van Voast, 46, says each time her case was either dismissed or dropped because the state's highest court ruled more than 20 years ago that bearing one's chest is legal for men and women. The lawsuit seeks compensation from the city and punitive damages from several named and unnamed officers for her treatment, which the suit alleges constituted civil rights violations. *-- Truck thief says zombies made him drive erratically --* TEMECULA, Calif.,- A Tennessee truck thief who said his poor driving was an effort to shake the zombies off his stolen tractor trailer pleaded guilty in a plea deal. Jeremiah Clyde Hartline, 29, stole a tractor trailer loaded with strawberries from a weigh station in Temecula, Calif., April 6, the California Highway Patrol said Tuesday. U-T San Diego said shortly after pulling onto Interstate 15, Hartline began swerving erratically, striking several vehicles and causing multiple chain- reaction accidents that injured several motorists. The plea deal forced Hartline to plead guilty to four of seven charges. Had the case gone to trial and he was convicted of all seven, Hartline could have faced 12 years, four months in prison. Instead, Hartline agreed to a possible five-year prison term. The load of strawberries, at least, found their way into some good hands. Those not damaged were donated to area food banks, U-T San Diego said. *-- Woman attacked sandwich worker over pickles in Massachusetts --* QUINCY, Mass. - Police in Massachusetts said a woman allegedly attacked a sandwich shop worker with her fists and jars of pickles due to the number of pickles on her sandwich. Police said Tina Drouin, 49, ordered a steak-and- cheese sandwich at the Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs eatery at the Quincy subway station Saturday and complained about how it was being prepared and said there were "too many pickles" on it, CNN reported Monday. "It appeared the Nathan's employee could simply not please Drouin," police said. Drouin demanded a refund and allegedly became violent when the worker would not return her money. She allegedly punched the other woman in the face and shoved two large jars of pickles at her, causing the worker to fall to the ground. "Drouin fled from the station, however the sub maker determined not to let Drouin escape justice gave pursuit catching up to her" and holding her until officers arrived, police said. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) BlueRose Room o(=(=(=(=)=)=)=)o !!!!!!}!{!!!!!! ___ !!!!!} | {!!!!! / \ !!!!} | {!!!! _!_ () () _!_ | // | !!!' | '!!! |~@~| ||______________|| |~@~| | | ~@~----+----~@~ |___| | | |___| \___/ !!! | !!! | | ~@@~ | | _________ !!! | !!! ( ) |_______ _______| ( ) |____-____| !!!____|____!!! __(___)__ {__~@~__}{__~@~__} __(___)__ |____-____| !!!=========!!! |__-__| %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% |__-__| |____-____| _!!!_________!!!___|_____|_ %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% _|_____|___|____-____|_ | | %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% | | |/ \| %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% /!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lc!! `======~@~==========~@~======` `==============================` `====~@~==================~@~====` `==================================` `==~@~==========================~@~==` >To the travelers out there oh yes....this can happen to anyone.....please read and remember the warning that is why you walk down to the front desk.... Anyone with some sense would not give personal info on the phone, but could still get caught by this one. PLEASE PASS THIS ALONG TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS. HOTEL / MOTEL SCAM / ( This one is so simple it is shocking.) You arrive at your hotel and check in at the Front desk. When checking in, you give the front desk your credit card (for all the charges for your room) You get to your room and settle in. Someone calls the Front desk and asks (for example) Room 620 - which happens to be your room. The phone rings in your room. You answer and the person on the other end says the following: "This is the Front Desk. When checking in, we came across a problem with your charge card information. Please re-read your credit card number and verify the last 3 digits on the reverse side of your charge card." Not thinking anything, you might give this person this information, since the call seems to come from the front Desk. But actually, it is a scam of someone calling from outside the hotel/front desk.They ask for a random room number. Then, ask you for credit card information and address information. They sound so professional, that you give it to them, thinking you are talking to the front desk. If you ever encounter this problem on your vacation, tell the caller that you will be down at the front desk to clear up any problems. Then go to the front desk and ask if there was a problem. If there was none, inform the manager of the hotel that someone called to scam you of your credit card information, acting like a front desk employee. This was sent by someone who has been duped ..... And is still cleaning up the mess. PS: Please consider spreading the word by forwarding this e-mail. Who knows, you might just help someone avoid a nasty experience. ANYONE travelling should be aware of this --- ...Best to be safe then sorry! Thanks for the heads up Linda! ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Brenda :) ,' , , ' ' ,' _ , ', , o\`. , ' ',' +/\| , ', , |\ ,'' , hjm >What the Customer Wanted A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer, who was walking out the door, and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?" "Rain." -<>- ___ (___) /` `\ / /"\ \ \_/o o\_/ ( _ ) `\ /` /\\V//\ / /_ _\ \ \ \___/ / \/===\/ || || || || ||___|| |_____| jgs ||| / Y \ `"`"` >Keep Me Alive My friend Ida was slowly recovering from a heart attack. "Doctor," she pleaded with her cardiologist, "you must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to attend my first grandchild's graduation." "We'll try," he replied compassionately. In due course Ida gratefully attended the graduation. Some time later she again spoke to her doctor. "My granddaughter is to be married in 18 months. Please help me to be able to attend her wedding." "We'll do our best," he replied. And my friend happily attended her granddaughter's wedding. Ten years passed. Ida visited her cardiologist regularly and followed his instructions religiously. One morning she called him. "Doctor," she began, "I'm feeling fine, but I have another request to ask of you: Remember how you saw me through to my grandson's graduation?" "Yes." "And later how you helped me attend my granddaughter's wedding?" "Yes." "Well, as you know I've just celebrated my 80th birthday. And I just bought myself a new mattress." "Yes?" "It has a 20-year guarantee..." -<>- _--_ ( A's) /___7 .~~\ /~~. /""_ V \ om /____/ / .mmmC="_ _/ -----===(((((}{).MMM "" | `"---" ..mMMM"" | \ ( )" \ /\ | / / \ \ /" / \ \ \__/" \__/ '94 the wolfe / / | | .^V^. .^V^. +-+ +-+ A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled Banner was sung before the start of each game. Then the father and son attended a church on a Sunday shortly before Independence Day. The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, the little boy suddenly yelled out, "PLAY BALL!!!" -<>- Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?" Patton said, "Why you say such a mean thing?" "Well," Kathleen said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror. --- ...TeeHee! LOL! Thanks Brenda! -<>- A _,-' `-._ _-'_________`-_ ``---\_ _/---`` (_ - _) \_._/ 8 __H__ 8 \ | / 8 |\ | /| 8 _|_|||_|_8 `-,/ \,-'8. | | `8< | | |-,-| gnv'-'-' >Chinese Wisdom - CHINESE ADVICE TO 50 - YEAR OLDS & OLDER: Ah so --Chinese verly wise! LOL WHERE YOUR LIFE STAND HERE ON EARTH (Translated from the Chinese). Because none of us have many years to live, and we can't take along anything when we go, so we don't have to be too thrifty... Spend the money that should be spent, enjoy what should be enjoyed, donate what you are able to donate, but don't leave all to your children or grandchildren, for you don't want them to become parasites who are waiting for the day you will die!! Don't worry about what will happen after we are gone, because when we return to dust, we will feel nothing about praises or criticisms. The time to enjoy the worldly life and your hard earned wealth will be over! Don't worry too much about your children, for children will have their own destiny and should find their own way. Don't be your children's slave. Care for them, love them, give them gifts but also enjoy your money while you can. Life should have more to it than working from the cradle to the grave!! Don't expect too much from your children. Caring children, though caring, would be too busy with their jobs and commitments to render much help. Uncaring children may fight over your assets even when you are still alive, and wish for your early demise so they can inherit your properties and wealth. Your children take for granted that they are rightful heirs to your wealth; but that you have no claims to their money. 50-year old like you, don't trade in your health for wealth by working yourself to an early grave anymore... Because your money may not be able to buy your health... When to stop making money, and how much is enough ( hundred thousands, million, ten million )? Out of thousand hectares of good farm land, you can consume only three quarts (of rice) daily; out of a thousand mansions, you only need eight square meters of space to rest at night. So, as long as you have enough food and enough money to spend, that is good enough. You should live happily. Every family has its own problems. Just do not compare with others for fame and social status and see whose children are doing better, etc., but challenge others for happiness, health, enjoyment, quality of life and longevity... Don't worry about things that you can't change because it doesn't help and it may spoil your health. You have to create your own well-being and find your own place of happiness. As long as you are in good mood and good health, think about happy things, do happy things daily and have fun in doing, then you will pass your time happily every day. One day passes without happiness, you will lose one day. One day passes with happiness, and then you gain one day. In good spirit, sickness will cure; in a happy spirit, sickness will cure faster; in high and happy spirits; sickness will never come. With good mood, suitable amount of exercise, always in the sun, variety of foods, reasonable amount of vitamin and mineral intake, hopefully you will live another 20 or 30 years of healthy life of pleasure. Above all, learn to cherish the goodness around... and FRIENDS... They all make you feel young and "wanted"... without them you are surely to feel lost!! Wishing you all the best. Please share this with all your friends who are 50 plus and those who will be 50 plus after some time. --- ...Something to think about! Thanks Brenda! ========================================================= _ , (_\______/________ \-|-|/|-|-|-|-|/ \==/-|-|-|-|-/ \/|-|-|-|,-' \--|-''' \_j________ (_) (_) hjw >-->CUSTOMER'S GUIDE TO SUPERMARKET SHOPPING 1. When in the express lane, make sure that all items are rung up and bagged before you start looking for your check- book. Then, after you make a futile search for your pen, borrow one from the clerk and make sure your checkbook is balanced before giving up the check. 2. Never get into the 10-Items-or-Less line with less than 12 items. IT'S THE LAW!!! 3. When in the 10-Items-or-Less line and you have your 12 to 20 items, always ask the clerk if it's okay. That way, if he says "yes," then the people behind you will get mad at HIM, not you. If he says "no," then YOU can get mad at him. Either way, you win! 4. Save all your pennies and dump them in the bottom of your purse so that when you are in the express lane you won't be embarrassed by spending all that time looking for one and not finding any. 5. When asked if you want paper or plastic, take all the time you need to make the right decision. Don't be rushed. Get it right. If you're not sure just say, "BAG." That way they will have to ask you again, giving you more time to decide. You may want to practice this at home in case you are ever asked this question at a grocery store. 6. Always, and I repeat, ALWAYS tell the checker your reason for choosing paper or plastic. Checkers by nature are very curious and if you should fail to give them your reason for choosing paper over plastic, the clerk is liable to lie awake at night wondering why you didn't choose plastic. 7. Always keep this in mind: If something is heavy and you don't want to lift it out of the basket and put it on the belt. Don't fret whether the checker will automatically know the price. After all, everyone knows how smart those clerks are. 8. Since everyone knows how ignorant those clerks are, you must always remember to tell them to not put the eggs and bread in the bottom of the bag. 9. Feel free to ask your clerk anything you may want to know. All checkers are experts on how to prepare whatever meal you should decide to make that night. They can give you precise directions to anywhere in the state you might want to go. They can tell you the best restaurant around, the kind of wine you will like best or anything else you may need to know about life. 10. Don't forget rule NO. 8 11. After waiting in the checkout line for several minutes and it's finally your turn at the counter, be sure to tell the clerk that more help is needed. He will certainly ensure that there is plenty of help next time. 12. When the clerk greets you and asks how you're doing, don't feel pressured into answering him. After all the clerk has to be polite-- but you don't have to. 13. When the store is not busy and there is only one check- stand with a light on, be sure to ask the nearest clerk which check stand is open. You don't want to take a chance being tricked into the wrong one. 14. If the clerk asks you if you know the price of an item and you don't, tell him it's "2-something" or "3-something." The clerks love that because they don't get to use their SOMETHING keys very often. ======================================================== .-=-. ////"\\ .=. ( 6 6 ) //"\\ \ - / (/6 6\) _.) (._ )\ = /(-` `:` `\ _(_ ) ( _)-| : |\ \ (_/ `\_/` \ | : |/ / / (_ @ _) \\_ : _/ / \ \)___(/ / |===|_) \/`"""`\/ | L | | | | | | | | | | | |_____| | | | ||| | | | ||| | | | ||| |_|_| jgs / Y \ / T \ `"`"` `"`"` >-->Laws of Life: * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five. * Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed. * The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay. * Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens. * First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing some- thing else. * Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references. * The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag. * Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot. ======================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: When we finished a personality assessment at work, I asked my friend Dan if he would share the results with his wife. ((" ") <)) <\(> '\| |\ ________/|______| \_________ kOs "That would require me to go home and say, 'Hi, honey. I just paid someone $400 to tell me what's wrong with me,'" he said. "And based on that, considering we've been married 23 years, she'd hand me a bill for about $798,000." -<>- During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. We flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, my new friend drew a # sign on a cocktail napkin. Excited, I wrote down my phone number. Looking startled for a moment, he flipped the napkin over and drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper- left-hand corner. -<>- During the banquet celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" an anonymous voice yelled from the back of the room. Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self- restraint, meekness, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't need if you had stayed single." -<>- These two girlfriends are very close, allowing them to be totally honest with each other. As one fidgeted in front of the mirror one evening before a date, she remarked, "I'm fat." "No, you're not," the other scolded. "My hair is awful." "It looks just fine." "I've never looked worse," she whined. "Yes, you have," her friend replied. -<>- I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 10-month old nephew. I said, "What do I do if he cries?" She said, "Give him some vegetables." It turns out that jalapeno is not his favorite. -<>- I picked up my nine-year-old daughter from school and asked how her day had gone. A few minutes later, distracted by driving, I repeated the question, and again a few minutes after that. Instead of annoyed, Ariana was philosophical. "Mom," she said, "your amnesia is my deja vu." ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps :) Andy Says... Just Think About This! It has taken me all my life to understand it is not necessary to understand everything. -- Rene Coty ==================== No one is going to turn down a good meal because he does not understand the digestive mechanism. -- V. I. Klassen ==================== I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common? -- Ashleigh Brilliant =================== Without a purpose, nothing should be done. Marcus Aurelius =================== A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work =================== If at first you DO succeed, try something harder. ---- Ann Landers =================== Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.---- Marcus Annaeus Seneca ================== General Eisenhower used to demonstrate the art of leadership with a simple piece of string. He'd put it on a table and say: Pull it and it'll follow wherever you wish. Push it and it will go nowhere at all. It's just that way when it comes to leading people. ================== There are really only two ways to approach life - as victim or as gallant fighter - and you must decide if you want to act or react, deal your own cards or play with a stacked deck. And if you don't decide which way to play with life, it always plays with you.----Merle Shain (1935 - 1989), Writer ================== Destiny is as destiny does. If you believe you have no control, then you have no control. ----Wess Roberts, author ================== Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results. ----Willie Nelson ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ .-----. .'`-. / ,-- | .- `-. ,' ,-' `. _.-' ,-.`.) ; / ,=---`--+' .- -. `. ( \ ,' =,- ,' ( o ) | /\ : : / =,-' / \-' ;(o : \ | ' ; ( `--' \ ; \ | = | \`--+ --. `( `+ =/ : : `. `. \ ' =/ \ `--. '-. `. `. \ =; `._ : ( `-. `. `. \ = ; `._.' `-.-`-._\ `-. \= ' _.-'_) (::::) `+ -. `--7' `--`..' ( : .' ; \ | | / \ | _.-| +---' `--+ `. \ \ /`. '-.-\ `--. / /#### `----.' ( ,-'############\ \\/###############; \###############/ kOs |--------------| _.--------- :::::::::::::::|_.-'' ::::::::::_.-'' .-''..'---'-------'' Role Playing For The Movies A movie producer was planning his next blockbuster --an action docudrama about famous composerss. So he set up a meeting with Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Arnold Scwarzenegger and offered them a chance to select which famous musicians they'd portray. "I've always admired Mozart," Stallone said. "I'd love to play him." "Chopin has always been my favorite," said Van Damme. "That's the part for me." The producer turned to Schwarzenegger. "And you, Arnold? Who do you want to be?" There was a long silence, then he replied, "I'll be Bach." +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >Generally Speaking America and Israel struck a deal to bolster each others Armies. The Israelis said they would like to exchange three generals for three generals. The Americans agreed, stating they wanted an IDF General to teach tactics, an armor General to teach desert warfare, and a Mossad General to teach espionage. The Israelis replied and said they wanted General Electric, General Motors, and General Dynamics. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >My Dog Doesn't like Men My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." "Perfect," my sister-in-law thought and took the dog. Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear the the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car. +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Andy Says... After my Last Blonde Joke... Ruthie writes and says... OK that was cute....But.......let me tell you what Mark and I saw the other day. We were on our way home from shopping and just getting ready to turn on to the express way when a pickup truck with a MAN driver (no he wasn't blonde) passed us. We both did a double take for there dragging behind was the hose of a gas pump with the handle still in the fuel tank. Wonder if anybody stopped him!! And as Lily Tomlin would say "and that the truth." +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The Other Side Of The Story: Here is the other side to the story. My grandpa used to tell me, "Boy, when people tell you they used to buy hamburger for ten cents a pound, ask them how much a day they made and how much fat was in that hamburger." -------Tony P.S. My senior year of college gas was $.349 a gallon. (Andy's was $.199 a gallon.) _ .-' '-. / \ |,-,-,-,-,| ___ | _)_(_ | (/ \) | _\_/_ /) / \_/ \// |( )\/ ||)_( |/ \ n| | / \ | |_|___| \|/ jgs _/L\_ (1) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20." (2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $5000 will only buy a used one." (3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous." (4) "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?" (5) "The Government is wanting to get its hands on everything. Pretty soon it's going to be impossible to run a family business or farm." (6) "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store." (7) "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 50 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage." (8) "Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls." (9) "Also, their music drives me wild. This 'Rock Around The Clock' thing is nothing but racket." (10) "I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind', it seems every movie has a 'hell' or a 'damn' in it." (11) "Also, it won't be long until couples are sleeping in the same bed in the movies. What is this world coming to?" (12) "Marilyn Monroe is now showing her bra and panties, so apparently there are no standards anymore." (13) "Pretty soon you won't be able to buy a good 10 cent cigar." (14) "I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas." (15) "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president." (16) "Do you suppose television will ever reach our part of the country?" (17) "I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now." (18) "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet." (19) "It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work." (20) "Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat." (21) "I'll tell you one thing. If my kid ever talks back to me, they won't be able to sit down for a week." (22) "Did you know the new church in town is allowing women to wear slacks to their service?" (23) "Next thing you know is, the government will start paying us not to grow crops." (24) "I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business. (25) "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress." (26) "Why in the world would you want to send your daughter to college? Isn't she going to get married? It would be different if she could be a doctor or a lawyer." (27) "I just hate to see the young people smoking. As I tell my kids, 'Don't take a cigarette from ANYONE. You never know what might be in it.'" (28) "The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on." (29) "There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel." (30) "No one can afford to be sick any more, $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood." (31) "If a few idiots want to risk their necks flying across the country that's fine, but nothing will ever replace trains." (32) "I don't know about you but if they raise the price of coffee to 15 cents a cup, I'll just have to drink mine at home." (33) "If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it. I'll have my wife learn to cut hair." (34) "We won't be going out much any more. Our baby sitter informed us she wants 50 cents an hour. Kids think money grows on trees." (35) "Cars which dim their lights by sensors, automatic transmissions, and who knows what else? Pretty soon they will drive themselves." THOSE WERE THE DAYS! AND MANY OF US REMEMBER THEM FONDLY ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit Advice For Living http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/advice.html Unique Designer Shoes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/shoes.html Best Friends http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/bestfriends.html High Tech Toys http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/techtoys.html Sgt.Stubby War Dog Hero http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/stubbywardog.html Sgt.Reckless http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/sgtreckless.html Remember Bumper Cars http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bcar.html Relics From The Past http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/relics.html -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) She sent us ones we have here... Under His Wings http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wings.html --- ...Awww, such an adorable reminder! Thanks Geniann! Sweets For The Sweet http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sugar.html --- ...LOL! A fun reminder! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) She sent us one we have here... World's Best Husband! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/husbands.html --- ...TeeHee! A good one! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Brenda :) She sent us one we have here... World's Largest Mirror! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/saltlake.html --- ...Awesome reminder! Thanks Brenda! You've Got Mail http://www.ginnysgiftoflove.com/hmyputer.html --- ...Yeppers! Thanks Brenda! This is fun for you trivia buffs. How Many Days Old Are You? This will give you a jolt! Click here: How many days old are you http://www.korn19.ch/coding/days.php This is pretty neat. Turn on the speakers to hear the narrative. Only the Eskimos will have the nerve to do this!! This is amazing ! This is something I had never heard of so I thought you might enjoy watching. When the tide is out... under the ice. Very interesting what the indigenous habitants of the region have done for ages. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Z0qGvC3vqaA= --- ...Wow! Pretty Cool! Thanks Brenda! -<>- >From our Friend Melody! :) DancingPaul.com - I can Dance if I want to http://dancingpaul.com/ Amnesias FlightSimX Paperplane Game http://flightsimx.cyclops.amnesia.com.au/index.html Eternal Sunset - Backstage - All current sunset webcams, interactiv http://www.eternalsunset.net/more.php --- ...Pretty Fun And Interesting! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Glenn Miller Routine - Hooked on Swing (be sure to watch this one full screen) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18F_sIaimGM&feature=youtu.be --- ...Fun! Thanks LouiseA! Watch to the end to find out how to change the settings on your phone! Scary!! PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO WATCH THIS VIDEO, AND TAKE THE RECOMMENDED PRECAUTIONS. If you have children or grandchildren you NEED to watch this. I had no idea this could happen from taking pictures on the blackberry or cell phone. It's scary. Smartphone Pictures Pose Privacy Risks http://www.youtube.com/embed/N2vARzvWxwY?rel=0 --- ...Good Advice! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Japanese researchers have successfully grown hair on a bald mouse. The researchers are ecstatic, and the mouse is relieved he doesn't have to keep wearing that stupid toupee." -Conan O'Brien "I want to get this off my chest: For the past 20 years, I have been using performance-enhancing vodka." -David Letterman "A new study found that being a vegetarian actually improves your mood - while talking about being a vegetarian just ruins everyone else's mood." -Jimmy Fallon "A recent study has found that more senior citizens than ever are entering college. College faculty says that the seniors are like any other students...except they take Jell-O shots just for the Jell-O." --Conan O'Brien "You know when it comes to organic food, the USDA is very tough. You can't have anything that ends in 'eetos.'" -Craig Ferguson "A new study found that happiness is u-shaped. By that they mean you're happy when you're young, you're least happy in middle age, and happiest again in retirement. You're least happy in middle age - especially when you realize you're never going to be able to retire." -Jay Leno "A new survey found that 55 percent of men expect to pay on the first date. While the other 45 percent have never been on a second date." -Jimmy Fallon "According to geologists, about 100 million years from now, Asia and the Americas will smash together to form one giant supercontinent. The good news: Maybe all those jobs that went over there will finally come back." -Jay Leno **Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.-- Anonymous** "Any man who knows all the answers most likely misunderstood the questions." --Anonymous >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chriistian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************