What Is Love & More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net =========================== >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) ___ [| |=|{)__ |___| \/ ) /|\ /| ejm97 / | \ | \ I've been spending my time finding some of the best animated graphics available on the web to go along with the ones we already have in our animated gallery here: Animated GIFs http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs.html Our Friend Bill from BuffaloJokes here: http://buffalosjokes.com/ Sent us some wonderful animations for Valentines Day. I gladly added them to our gallery pages... - You may have to refresh your browser to viiew the updates - New Garfield, Groundhog and Heart Animations: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_f-j.html New Scooby, Snoopy, and Sponge-Bob Animations: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html New Valentine's Day Animations http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html --- ...These were wonderful! Thank You so much Buffalo! I'll be adding more Valentine's Day and other animations too. -<>- >HOT OFF THE 'SHANGY' PRESS :) .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. ( ` )( ` )( ` )( ` )( ` )( ` ) `. .' `. .' `. .' `. .' `. .' `. .' `.' `.' `.' `.' `.' `.' I've been working and collecting pictures for this page ever since Buffalo sent us wonderful valentine graphics... I got the first part of perhaps two done for it. _ _ ( \/ ) .---. \ / .-"-. / 6_6 \/ / 4 4 \ \_ (__\ \_ v _/ // \\ // \\ (( )) (( )) =======""===""========""===""======= jgs ||| ||| | | WHAT IS LOVE http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wlove1.html --- ...Thank You Buffalo for this page inspiration! -<>- >Speaking of REFRESHING Your Browser... I have been doing some internal clutter clean up and moving the picture files for this years pages to a new directory. If any of these pages have missing pictures, just refresh or reload your browser: Toyger Mini Tiger! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/minitiger.html Giant Catfish! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/giantcfish.html Amazing Air Cars! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aircars.html Sand Sculpture Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandart.html Boeing 787! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/b787.html Noah's Ark! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/noahsark.html WWI Human Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanart.html Wall Mural Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart.html If You haven't already, be sure to check out these fun pages! -*~ Please PASS This On - God Bless You! - TTHANKS! ~*~ ======================================== >-->From TheFunnyBone: Without Your Glasses _ _ .'_`\ .' `\ Soon after our last child left home (_( \ \ (_( \ \ for college, my husband was resting \ \ \ \ next to me on the couch with his jgs \ \ ____________\ \ head in my lap. I carefully \.'====. = .===='.\ removed his glasses. (( ) ( )) \\____//^\\____// "You know, honey," I said sweetly, '----' '----' "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!" +---------------------- Bizarre Laws ----------------------+ OREGON Dishes must drip dry. The "Peer Review Statute" prohibits you from finding out details of any written or oral discussion about your medical treatment. Not even a court of law can. All you can see is what the doctor or nurse voluntarily records in your chart. It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex. Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays. It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property. You may not pump your own gas in service stations. One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e., that which covers one's body from neck to knee. Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing. ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend John-Paul :) (\ /) \/ W.Madison \/ (\ /) (X) o00- _ _ -00o (X) (/|\) (')< >(') (/|\) | (@ ) ( @) | \|/|||||||||| ^^ ||||||||||||||||||||||||| ^^ ||||wsm|||\|/ ~~~~ ~~~~ A POTATO STORY Once there were a Girl Potato and Boy Potato who had eyes for each other, and got married. Soon they had a little, sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.' Of course, they wanted the best for little Yam. So, when it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out, and getting half-baked, So she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like: 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots. Yam said," not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack, and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home, and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins. When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. Also, when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped. Yam said," she would stay on the straight and narrow, and wouldn't associate with those high class Yuk on Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'" Mr. and Mrs. Potato then sent Yam to Idaho to school P.U. (that's Potato University) ,so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry---- Tom Brokaw Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's ------- Are you ready for this? OK! Here it is! He Is Just `A COMMON TATER`! mmm( O, me) got you John-Paul --- ...Yep! Good One! -<>- HAVE YOU TASTED JESUS? + (|) _____.___.|_|. | / \ |===| | / \ | o | |__/__v__\|, ,| | | | | | || || |/| . . . |','| ||| A A A | , | ||| M M M | | wtx --------------------- The University of Chicago Divinity School, each year, has what is called "Baptist Day". It is a day when all the Baptists in the area are invited to the school, because the school want the Baptist dollars to keep coming in. On this day, each one who attends, is to bring a lunch to be eaten outdoors in a grassy picnic area, the school would invite one of the `Greatest Minds` to lecture to the Theological Education School. One year they invited Dr. Paul Tillich. Dr. Tillich spoke for two and one-half hours,laying ground work, trying to prove that the `Resurrection of Jesus`,was false. He quoted scholar after scholar and book after book. He then concluded,"since there was no such thing as the `Historical Resurrection`, The Religious Tradition` of the Church was Groundless, and therefore nothing but Emotional mumbo- jumbo, All because, it was based on a `Relationship` with a `Risen` Jesus,. "Who", he said," in fact, Never Rose from the Dead in any Literal Sense". Then, satisfied within himself, He asked if there were any questions. That is when, an old, dark skinned Preacher with a head of short-cropped woolly white hair, stood up in the back of the out door auditorium. "Docta Tillich, I got one question," he said as all eyes turned toward him. He reached into his sack lunch and pulled out an apple and began eating it. "Docta Tillich" (Crunch, Munch) "My question is a simple question," (Crunch, Munch) "Now I ain't never read them books you read" (Crunch, Munch)" and I can't recite the Scriptures in the Original Greek" (Crunch, Munch) "I don't know nothin' about `Niebuhr` and `Heidegger`" (Crunch, Munch) Then as He finished the apple, he asked, "All I wanna know is, This here apple I just ate, was it bitter or sweet?" Dr. Tillich paused for a moment, and answered in `Exemplary Scholarly Fashion`, "I cannot possibly answer that question, for I haven't tasted your apple." The white-haired Preacher, then dropped the core of his apple into his crumpled paper bag, looked up at Dr. Tillich, and said, calmly, "Neither have you tasted my JESUS." The 1,000 plus in attendance could not contain themselves, as the auditorium erupted with applause and cheers. Dr. Tillich, (Red Faceed, and Speachless), thanked his audience and promptly left the platform. mmm BIG-:) Question: " Have you tasted Jesus"? Psalms 34:8 we read: Taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him. If you have Tasted the Goodness of Our LORD. Rejoice in the Hope of `The Rsurrection`, for your faith in Him brings unto You: ~ETERNAL LIFE~ Any questions? Always~~~~~~~~~~~~~John-Paul --- ...Sweet! Thanks John-Paul! AND all jokes aside - we don't just THINK the resurrection took place, WE KNOW BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT - here is a great teaching on it from Truth or Tradition: Beyond A Reasonable Doubt 23 Arguments for the Historical Validity of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ - Visit Here: http://tinyurl.com/38tz4d ==================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Richard :) >Califiornia speeding ticket _*_ ....iiooiioo __/_|_\__ [(o)_R_(o)] fe Top this for a speeding ticket: Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, North of MCAS Miramar . One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching near the crest of a hill. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and turned off. Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked onto a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location. Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander. Back came a reply in true USMC style: Thank you for the message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air to ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment. Fortunately the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar was destroyed. Thank you for your concerns. --- ...Wowsers! Big Guns! Thanks Richard! ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Dan:) >TRIBUTE TO OUR VETERANS ....GEORGE JONES See the link below. Thank you for your service. -- Dan |\ |\ |\ |\ || .---. || .---. || .---. || .---. ||/_____\ ||/_____\ ||/_____\ ||/_____\ ||( '.' ) ||( '.' ) ||( '.' ) ||( '.' ) || \_-_/_ || \_-_/_ || \_-_/_ || \_-_/_ :-"`'V'//-. :-"`'V'//-. :-"`'V'//-. :-"`'V'//-. / , |// , `\ / , |// , `\ / , |// , `\ / , |// , `\ / /|Ll //Ll|| | / /|Ll //Ll|| | / /|Ll //Ll|| | / /|Ll //Ll|| | /_/||__// || | /_/||__// || | /_/||__// || | /_/||__// || | \ \/---|[]==|| | \ \/---|[]==|| | \ \/---|[]==|| | \ \/---|[]==|| | \/\__/ | \| | \/\__/ | \| | \/\__/ | \| | \/\__/ | \| | /\|_ | Ll_\ | /|/_ | Ll_\ | /|/_ | Ll_\ | /|/_ | Ll_\ | `--|`^"""^`||_| `--|`^"""^`||_| `--|`^"""^`||_| `--|`^"""^`||_| | | ||/ | | ||/ | | ||/ | | ||/ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | L___l___J L___l___J L___l___J L___l___J |_ | _| |_ | _| |_ | _| |_ | _| jgs (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ http://mywebpages.comcast.net:80/singingman7/TNOTW.htm --- ...Ditto. A bitter-Sweet Heartwarming one. Thank You Dan! ==================================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: _.--._ ,' `. / __) __` \ ( (`-`(-') ) /) \ _ / ( /' )-._.' . \ ___ ( ,--., `.)___(___) )( /-.,--'\ _ \X/` '/ .'/ \ ( Uu")\ / / \ `/,-' ) ( ^ , ,^ )`._.' ( `. Y .' ) \ `. )\.' / ) )`._.'=='._.' ( >From LifeScript: Get an UltraMetabolism Upgrade If you’re among the two-thirds of Americans who struggle with weight, you may consider food an unavoidable enemy. The variety of processed eats that surround us 24-7 not only pack on pounds, but can also lead to heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and even dementia. According to Dr. Mark Hyman, creator of the UltraMetabolism Diet, simply by eating the right foods, you can boost your metabolism and improve your health. In this LifeScript exclusive, he shares his 9 steps for a slimmer you… http://www.lifescript.com/HA/32433_4238409_6932_0.htm -<>- >From AFA: Ford Boycott ____________ .F............T. | .----------. | | |',' ',' , | | _......_ .''''''''''. | `----------' | _+' `+_ .' '. _|.-. _...._ .-.|_ _/.-. _...._ .-.\_ _|.-. _...._ .-.|_ (_)`-' __[]__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __{}__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __/\__ `-'(_) (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | `-' `-' Columnist says AFA boycott of Ford effective, being ignored by main stream media. The columnist says he doesn't support boycott Tom Blumer says that the mainstream media is ignoring the boycott despite its effectiveness. Blumer writes an unbiased article concerning the boycott. Click here to read the article. http://tinyurl.com/2w3wqc Forward this article to your friends and family. Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman American Family Association --- ...Who wants to give Ford money for a vehicle knowing they give part of it to help the gays with their garbage? Not me! I like to have a choice about what my money is used for. Thank you very much. Too bad Ford is so stubborn about this - oh well, we can be stubborn too! -<>- >From BizarreNews: * * __ * ,db' * * ,d8/ * * * 888 `db\ * * `o`_ ** * * * _ * * / ) * (\__/) * ( ( * ,-.,-.,) (.,-.,-.,-.) ).,-.,-. | @| ={ }= | @| / / | @|o | _j__j__j_) `-------/ /__j__j__j_ ________( /___________ | | @| \ || o|O | @| |o | |,'\ , ,'"| | | | hjw vV\|/vV|`-'\ ,---\ | \Vv\hjwVv\//v _) ) `. \ / (__/ ) ) (_/ -- Cat saves 8 people from house fire ----------- ALLENDALE, Mich. - A cat named Oreo saved the lives of eight Allendale, Mich., people when their home caught fire Wednesday, officials said. The heroic kitty began to cry when flames started in the family's garage about 5 a.m., WOOD-TV, Grand Rapids, Mich., reported Thursday. Officials said smoke detectors in the home did not sound at the time of the fire, but luckily for the family, Oreo did. The cat's cries from the garage reportedly woke the family of eight and sent them rushing out of the house. Fire damaged the garage and one bedroom, officials said. o-o /,_,\ ,Mm/_\mM, fsc -- Sleeping frog shocks a Brooklyn mom ---------- BROOKLYN, N.Y. - A New York woman told reporters she was surprised when she found a tiny frog taking a nap in her organic lettuce. Yvonne Brechbuhler jumped away in fear, thinking she had discovered a slug or deceased bug in her salad, the New York Daily News reported Thursday. "I didn't know what it was. But once I realized it was a frog, I was OK," the 39-year-old mother and stage actress told the newspaper. Brechbuhler said the little amphibian was "one tough frog" because he had persevered through three days in her fridge after a long trip from Florida to the Brooklyn health food store where she bought the lettuce. After Brechbuhler found the frog last week, she and her 7-year-old daughter named him "Curious" and gave him a temporary home in a lettuce-filled jar. The family later took the frog to a Brooklyn facility for amphibians and reptiles. Curious reportedly is now up for adoption. _|\ _/|_, ,((\\``-\\\\_ ,(()) `))\ ,(())) ,_ \ ((())' | \ ))))) >.__ \ (((' / `-. .c| hjw / `-`' -- Horse mistakenly advertised as food ----------- AKRON, Mich. - An Akron, Mich., woman said she received a barrage of phone messages after her advertisement selling a horse was mistakenly categorized as food. Kristen DeGroat said her ad in The Saginaw (Mich.) News, which offered her 3-year-old mare for sale, mistakenly appeared in the "Good Things to Eat" section of the classifieds, The Saginaw News reported Thursday. "3 YEAR OLD Registered Pinto Mare, $200 or best," the ad read. DeGroat said she received about 60 calls in response to the ad, mostly from people upset that someone would sell a horse for food. "I had a lady call whose friend was just in tears over this thing," DeGroat said. "It doesn't help that my cell phone number starts with 666." A representative of the newspaper said the ad appeared in the wrong section due to an error that was later corrected. DeGroat said about one-third of the calls were from buyers who were genuinely interested in buying the horse for its culinary value. However, she said she sold the animal to a St. Charles, Mich., buyer who purchased the horse as a pet for his granddaughters. -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: Detective receives drug sale text message A Salt Lake City detective helped bust a narcotics dealer when he intercepted a text message attempting to make a sale, officials said. When Dan Wendelboth received an unusual text message, reading, "I have 10 Lortab 7.5," he decided to play along with the conversation to help police nail the suspected dealer, KSL-TV, Salt Lake City, reports. Wendelboth reportedly replied to the text with questions asking for a price, time and place at which he could buy the prescription pain medication. Detectives were reportedly present and ready to make arrests when Carrie Brooker, 27, Christine Rollins, 42, and one other female arrived at the 8 p.m. Tuesday meeting in a Wal-Mart parking lot, police said. Police said they busted one woman for carrying Lortab capsules and arrested the other of prescription forgery. A 2-year-old, who is now in protective custody, was with one of the women. Internet speeding video seen by police Authorities say they are searching for a man who allegedly drove 125 miles per hour down an English highway and then posted the video on the Internet. Police say they know how fast the driver was going on the M23 highway in Sussex, because after he filmed other cars swerving out of the way he zoomed in on the speedometer, the Mail on Sunday reported. The stunt, which was posted on the Internet site YouTube.com, was "a stupid thing to do," a spokesman for the Sussex Police told the newspaper. A YouTube spokesman said footage of people driving fast can be found plenty of places other than the Web site, but "if there is illegal activity taking place then we encourage the police to get in touch." Online pranksters target top Chinese minds Scientists at China's Ministry of Science and Technology have fallen prey to pranksters who asked silly questions on the department's Web site. While the online pranksters proffered questions regarding the use of nuclear reactors in the average home, the amusing portion of the prank came when ministry scientists actually responded to the queries in a professional fashion. China's official state-run news agency, Xinhua, said scientists attempted to offer serious answers to all the questions no matter how ridiculous the topic. "After years of private research, I have finally succeeded in producing nuclear reactors for household use. Where can I apply for patent?" one online posting asked. "By the way, I have been contacted several times by terrorists wanting to buy the reactors. What should I do?" the unidentified poster added. For those wondering the same thing, the scientists' answer was to contact the China Patent Information Center for additional information. =================================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: A farmer called my veterinary office and asked me to make a house call. Because the road was closed, he parked his ancient pickup in a field for me to drive the rest of the way. But once behind the wheel, I realized the brakes didn't work. The truck sped toward the stable, across the farmyard, into the barn, and embedded itself in a gigantic haystack. Sweating, I climbed out and apologized. "Don't worry," the farmer said to me. "That's how I stop the car too." ______ // // // // _______|| ,-''' ||`-. ( || ) |`-..._______,..-'| | || | | _______|| | |,-'''_ _ ~ ||`-.| | ~ / `-.\ ,-'\ ~| |`-...___/___,..-'| | `-./-'_ \/_| | | -' ~~ || -.| jrei ( ~ ~ ~~ ) `-..._______,..-' Waking up in the recovery room after surgery, I discovered my throat was dry and sore from the oxygen tube they had inserted. One of the nurses asked if I would like some ice chips to help alleviate the problem. "You know what," I said to her, "I'll give you ten dollars if you bring me a soft drink." "Ten dollars?" she said. "Mr. Lucas, this is a hospital. A Dr Pepper here costs a hundred dollars." ______ MY SON, a West Virginia state trooper, stopped a woman for going 15 miles over the speed limit. After he handed her a ticket, she asked him, "Don't you give out warnings?" "Yes, ma'am," he replied. "They're all up and down the road. They say, 'Speed Limit 55.' " ______ DURING HIS SPARE TIME my brother, an attorney, volunteers on his town's fire and rescue squad. When I mentioned this to a friend, he smiled and said, "Let me get this straight. Your brother is a lawyer and an EMT? So he doesn't have to chase the ambulance -- he's already in it?" ------- Yes More of.... Think you know everything...? .-------. _|~~ ~~ |_ =(_|_______|_)= |:::::::::| |:::::::[]| |o=======.| jgs `"""""""""` The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. The Bible does not say there were three wise men; it only says there were three gifts. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid. The words 'race car,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. There are more chickens than people in the world. There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself. now you know everything! ººººººººººººººººººººººººººº All About Computers ,. |`:. | `:. m1a | |`.`:;@. | |;.`.`;| ; `.';| || ,(`;.`.| || /8o (`:. || /o8888o `; || /@o8888888o (`;| (`.()oO888888o (< `.`.;:oO08c{)/ | `.`.(),0 / / `.`.`/ / `.( / 1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. 4. When the going gets tough, upgrade. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. 7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. 8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. 9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. 10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. 11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do. --Murphy's Laws of Computing ºººººººººººººººººººº I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust." I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease.... that's when your chest is falling into your drawers! To subscribe, send a blank mailto:scream_of_the_crop-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ======================================================================== >-->From JokeCentral: /~~~~~~~~/| / /######/ / | / /______/ / | ============ /|| |__________|/ || |\__,,__/ || | __,,__ || |_\====/%____|| Joe Jacques | /~~~~\ % / | _|/ \%_/ | | | | | / |__\______/__|/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dangers of Coffee-Drinking By Kenneth L. Pierpont I like coffee. For Father’s Day last year my first-born son bought me a French Press coffee maker… and my second-oldest son bought me a full pound of Starbuck’s breakfast blend coffee beans. Oh, my. I usually enjoy at least one good strong cup of coffee every day. But I got a jolt today reading World magazine. I have always considered drinking coffee safe. I’ve taken it upon myself to do a little reading on the subject and the opinions are mixed but for the most part coffee is considered safe. At least in Nevshir, Turkey though, where Rahime Sahine lives, drinking coffee may expose you to some unusual hazards. Rahime was enjoying his coffee with some friends and playing dominoes when he suffered a broken leg and was knocked unconscious. This, mind you, in his local coffee house engaging in a docile table game. According to the World Magazine piece a cow fell through the roof and landed on Rahime. Apparently the cow wandered from a nearby hillside where it was grazing onto the roof of the coffee house which was built into the side of the hill. The last line of the news story assured us the cow was uninjured. They must just have tough cows in Turkey. I wonder if he was drinking the coffee black or if he ordered his with cream? I don’t know about you but from now on before I order up a Carmel latte or frappichino I’m going to check the roof. Kenneth L. Pierpont ken@kenpierpont.com Riverfront Character Inn International Conference Center Flint, Michigan -<>- Dear Marty, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter. Will you forgive and forget? I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo and pierced nose. I now realize motorcycles aren't really that dangerous, and I really should not have reacted that way to the fact that you have never held a job. I am also very sure that some other very nice people live under the bridge in the park, too. Sure my daughter is only 18 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on full scholarship. After all, you can't learn everything about life from books. I sometimes forget how backward I can be. I was wrong. I was a fool. I have now come to my senses and you have my full blessing to marry my daughter. Sincerely, Your future father-in-law. P.S. Congratulations on winning the lottery! -<>- Here are a few answers to commonly asked pregnancy questions First, the questions from women: Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. And, from men: Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the words "alimony" and "child support" mean anything to you? .-"''-. _ .' `( \ @/ ') ,--,__,-" / / \ / / _/ __| , |/ / .~ `\ / \ , | / .~ `\ ` / _/ _/ .~ `\ ~~`__/ / ~ `--'/ / / / / /' /jgs Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college. -<>- God's Baseball Game Bob and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team. The Lord's team was up to bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate whose name was Love. Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because "Love never fails." The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because "Faith works with Love." The next batter up was named Godly wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch. Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass: Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked, because Godly wisdom never swings at what Satan throws. The bases were loaded. The Lord then turned to Bob and told him He was going to bring in His star player. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Bob said, "He sure doesn't look like much!" Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace. Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen. But Satan was not worried; his center fielder let very few get by. He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground; then it continued over the fence for a home run! The Lord's team won. The Lord then asked Bob if he knew why Love, Faith and Godly Wisdom could get on base but could not win the game Bob answered that he did not know why. The Lord explained, "If your love, faith, and wisdom had won the game you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, Faith and wisdom will get you on base, but.........."Only My GRACE can get you HOME." --- Dave http://www.smilesunlimited.net Good clean fun. -<>- The Archive of Misheard Lyrics This site is a lot of fun: look up songs you know and see what otherpeople misheard them as. The domain is named for the world’s most commonly misheard lyric. If youwant to know what the lyric that is most commonly misheard is, check out this site. / | \ / | \ /O O | O O\ //|\ /|\ /|\ /|\\ /=/ \=/ \= / \=/ \=\ / == == == == == \ / == == == == == \ Maria Pia Here's one example: The Beatles, I Want to Hold your Hand. Misheard lyric: "And when I touch you I feel happing inside. It's such a feeling that my love, I get high, I get high, I get high!" Real lyrics:"And when I touch you I feel happy inside. It's such afeeling that my love I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide!" This site was a barrel of laughs and had some interesting definitions of what exactly a misheard lyric is and its importance throughout history in the passing of folk songsdown through out the generations. Enjoy! http://kissthisguy.com/ -<>- Bribe the Professor A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change. -<>- Sunday 11am There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care unit where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with a mystery ..... as to why the deaths at 11 a.m.on Sundays? A world-wide team of experts was constituted and they decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.So, on the next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits...Just then the clock struck 11 and.................Sipho, the part-time Sunday cleaner, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner................ ==================================================================== >-->From PetWarmers; .'' ._.-.___.' (`\ //( ( `' '/ )\ ).__. ) ' <' `\ ._/'\ ` \ \ VK >PRINCE TO THE RESCUE by Patricia Cope-Byrne When I was a young girl, I would daydream about one day meeting my Prince charming or a handsome knight, just like in the fairytales. He would come and sweep me off of my feet, making me the happiest girl in the whole wide world. In April 2001, I meet my Prince. No, he wasn't the shining knight on a white horse -- he was just the white horse. He was a scrawny, ugly Arabian with an abundance of attitude, and most of all, in need of rescue. Prince was brought to me after being quarantined at a fellow horse rescuer's location. He was removed from his previous owner, after there were some concerns about his weight and a laceration that had a noticeable infection. The woman that owned him informed us that he was not ill but that he was just a hard keeper. But, she could see herself parting with him for the sum of fifteen hundred dollars. Therefore, pockets were turned inside and out. Miraculously the money was found. I had been seriously injured two years ago. I had broken my neck and also had amnesia for 4 days, from a fall while riding. Therefore, riding for me was no longer my preferred past time. However, my love for horses has never wavered. I had a tremendous, gripping fear of riding. I just couldn't get into the saddle again! That is, until I met my Prince. Horse people have their preferences of breed and color. I for one do not like flea bitten, gray or gray skinned/white horses. Prince was an Arabian, not my favorite breed. He was also white and flea bitten with gray skin. I took one long look at him and said, "Old boy, you sure are scrawny and ugly! Heck, you would not hurt a fly. Would you, old boy?" Well, to everyone's amazement, he snickered and put his muzzle to my face. At that very second, it was love at first sight. I knew I would be able to ride him. A team we became -- not just a horse and rider -- we were one. We joined a drill team and did parades all over Michigan. He gave me back my love of riding. He built up my confidence and gave me the courage to do what I needed to in my personal life. In return, I gave him love, kindness, my time and endless amounts of feed. Are time together was to be brief. Four months later, my scrawny, ugly horse became Ill. In three exceedingly, extended and miserable days, we endured vets, equine specialists, and IV'S hanging from trees. There was endless poking, prodding and procedures that left Prince and I exhausted. I was left with a decision that was just too painful to make. I went to check on him, around 6 am and he seemed a little off. He went down and started to roll violently on the ground, roaring! A deep throated scream of fierce pain! I gave him all of the pain medications that I had -- enough to knock out an elephant! When his pain was under control, I ran to the house, called the vet and yelled into their answering machine, "This is Padie, Scrawny Ugly's Mom. He is down and in great pain! Please bring the blue juice (what horse people call euthanasia medication) -- we might need it!" Twenty minuets later when the vet pulled into he yard, Prince was back up on his feet. I slowly walked over and asked, "Well Scrawny, the vet is here with the blue juice and I have to know, should I stop all of this -- can you help me! Help me one more time, bud? Tell me if this has to be done?" Even with so much pain medication in him, he looked at me, snickered and nuzzled my face, stepped back and groaned, stumbled a few steps, looked at me again and shook his head, yes. It took every fiber of my being to take his halter and walk him to the place where he would be laid to rest. I held his head and repeatedly told him how much I loved him and how we will meet again on the Rainbow Bridge. All the while, the vet was giving him the shots, that would take him away -- forever. I truly believe that Prince came to me because he deserved love, and a dignified end to a long and lonely life of abuse and neglect. Even in his last few months, he still had so much to give. Prince showed me how to face a challenge and to do what needed to be done in the face of fear. Most of all he showed me how to do what is best, even though there could be great pain and sorrow. In most of life's difficulties, some good can come out an experience. At first, I thought I was the one who rescued Prince. In the end, it was Prince who rescued me. -- Patricia Cope-Byrne ____________________________________________ Do you enjoy Petwarmers? Do you think your pet loving friends would too? Tell them it's easy to sign up for our free publication. Just have them send an email to: join@petwarmers.com ____________________________________________ .-------------. . . * * /_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ \ * . ) . //_/_/_/_/_/_// _ \ __ . . /_/_/_/_/_/_/_/|/ \.' .`-o | ||-'(/ ,--' | || _ | | ||'' || |_____________|| |_|L hjm "DOG DAYS" OF SUMMER I received this from the weatherbug.com and thought some of Petwarmers readers would find it interesting as I did. Thank you. -- Yvette Many people think the term "Dog Days of Summer" refers to a period of extended heat in the late summer that sends dogs running for the cool shade of a porch or tree. Images of dogs lying on the front porch on hot summer days, not moving for fear of overheating, are brought to mind when this term is heard. A dog does play a role in the history of the term, but it actually is a celestial dog. Back in early civilizations, people looked at the stars and pictured that the brightest ones formed images of animals. Many saw bears, bulls, lions and yes, dogs. These are called constellations, and the constellation Canis Major is one that depicts a dog. The brightest star in this constellation is Sirius, or the "Dog Star". In ancient Rome, it was believed that Sirius was so bright that it actually heated the earth. Sirius is visible in the winter in the southern sky, but between early July and mid-August it rises during daylight with the sun. Ancient Romans believed that this star added heat to the heat of the sun, thus the reason the days were the hottest during this period. This is the reason these later days of summer are called the "Dog Days" of summer! We know now that the hottest days of the year occur during these "Dog Days" because of the tilt of the earth. Because of the tilt, during the summer months in the northern hemisphere the earth stores up heat and becomes hotter until mid-August when the cooling begins. Despite the reasoning for this hot time of year, this period of time still sends dogs running to the shade of a cool porch. ========================================================================= >-->Fun Places To Net Visit :) >From The MouthPiece: TEST YOUR GEOGRAPHY KNOWLEDGE If you were shown a picture of South America, would you be able to point out where Uruguay is? Or how about Eritrea on a map of the Middle East? Put your geography knowledge to the test with these quizzes that cover every part of the world. http://www.lizardpoint.com/fun/geoquiz/ WHO'S ALIVE AND WHO'S DEAD Here's another interesting site that focuses on famous people both dead or alive, what they're famous for, what caused their death, when they were born and etc... http://www.whosaliveandwhosdead.com/ >From LynnLynn's Links: TEXAS BOB w/ROCKET FUEL DANCE http://texasbobsworld.com/rocket_fuel_dance.htm Wake Up America http://www.usawakeup.org/ Game Day http://www.diamondavid.com/bluejay/new/gameday.php "THE LOVE PUPPY""" Via Juanita http://community-2.webtv.net/harryswallace/THELOVEPUPPY/ MOMISMS http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/MOMSMS.HTML RulesofThumb.org - Homepage http://rulesofthumb.org/ Birds of Australia Via Dianne http://www.birdphotos.com.au/wrens/index.htm I'm My Own Grandpa http://www.buffalosjokes.com/041632.htm Fire Rescue http://www.buffalosjokes.com/125002.htm Taco town http://www.buffalosjokes.com/011130.htm tap dancing http://www.buffalosjokes.com/011131.htm Teaspoon http://www.buffalosjokes.com/011132.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: The United States is putting together a Constitution now for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It's served us well for 200 years, and we don't appear to be using it anymore, so what the [heck]? -- Jay Leno The state of Florida will help restore the voting rights to 125,000 felons. Well that makes sense, a lot of people thought the last election was stolen anyway, might as well let felons vote. Should we let criminals vote? We already let them hold office might as well let them vote. -- Jay Leno "Did everyone see American Gladiators last night? Not the NBC show, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? They were so hostile to each other I thought they were married." - Jay Leno "And today, in Central Park, a squirrel found traces of mercury in his nuts." - David Letterman "It's pouring in L.A.! CBS has asked me to remind everyone that in the event of flooding, Drew Carey can be used as a flotation device." - Craig Ferguson >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Serrvice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************