Where My Family Came From And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2011 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2011 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This hottie comes from our friend Linda. such a strikingly beautiful and thoughtful one, I am sure you will enjoy it too! Check it out here... City Silhouettes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/citys.html --- ...I loved this Linda - so well done! Thank You! ========================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: Amusing Things Grade School Students Have Written In Papers: _____ The parts of speech are lungs and air. ."` `". __ / \ __ A census taker is man who goes from / & /"""""\ & \ house to house increasing the popula- / /\ /` 9 9 `\ /\ \ tion. | | /` ^ `\ | | / / \ '-' / \ \ (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot /.-' `-._____.-` `-.\ water and CO2 is cold water. _\\ //_ /' `~|\\/|~` `\ A city purifies its water supply by / , | \ | , \ filtering the water then forcing it / /| \__)/ |\ \ through an aviator. \ `-._ ~Y~__.-' / `-.__/```).-\_.-' Most of the houses in France are made / `~~|/`~` \ of plaster of Paris. / -. | \ jgs / \| \ The people who followed the Lord were / | \ called the 12 opossums. / . . . . . . . . . \ `"`"`"`"|"|"|"`"`"`"` We do not raise silk worms in the | | | United States, because we get our silk | | | from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives |~|~| more silk. |-|-| /`/`/J One of the main causes of dust is janitors. `~`~` A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities. The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings. Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners. In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon. Iron was discovered because someone smelt it. In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah. ==================================================================== *--------- Even More Bizarre September Holidays ---------* September 21 is World Gratitude Day and International Banana Festival September 22 is Hobbit Day and Dear Diary Day September 23 is Checkers Day and Dogs In Politics Day September 24 is Festival Of Latest Novelties September 25 is National Comic Book Day September 26 is National Good Neighbor Day and National Pancake Day September 27 is Crush A Can Day September 28 is Ask A Stupid Question Day September 29 is Poisoned Blackberries Day September 30 is National Mud Pack Day ================================================================== >-->From ArcaMaxJokes: >Scary _.-, _ .-' / .._ .-:'/ - - \:::::-. .::: ' e e ' '-::::. ::::'( ^ )_.:::::: ::::.' '. o '.::::'.'/_ . :::.' - .::::'_ _.: .-''---' .'| .::::' ''':::: '. ..-:::' | .::::' :::: '.' :::: \ .::::' :::: :::: .::::' :::: ::::.::::'._ :::: ::::::' / '- .:::: '::::-/__ __.-::::' '-::::::::::::::-' jrei '''::::''' A ghost, a vampire and a zombie were off scaring little kids and then went to a big house. A politician came out and the three monsters went off running. -<>- .o######0o. 0###########0. . o####" "######0. (## m#o ####( ######0 ._ ##.##"nn 0####o ###" ## (##o.######" o00o. 0#####o,##. ,#" "#######( .0#####0. 0###########0 ######## .0#######0. "0#########" _.o###'"00" .0###########o._ ""################ _ . 0####" "#########################0 .0#0n0 #####. ""#####################" _ 0##### 0#####. "###################._.o##o.#####" "0#####..##mn ""############################# "0#######""_ ""##################"#####" ""####m###m ""############" #### .########""" .########" "##" ####"##"###o (0######" "" "##".###,## .o#o ""####. "##" .0############. .n##RADIUS####### >Politician's Dance There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you have to do" she told her class "is take three steps forward, two steps backward, then side-step side-step and turn around." -<>- >Dumb Jock The huge college freshman figured he'd try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?" "Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. "Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it." -<>- >Unscrupulous Businessman An unscrupulous businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor. The doctor examined him and backed away, saying, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal." "Could you give me a pen and paper?" said the businessman. "Do you want to write your will?" "No, I want to make a list of all the people I want to bite." -<>- ."`". .-./ _=_ \.-. { (,(oYo),) }} {{ | " |} } { { \(---)/ }} {{ }'-=-'{ } } { { }._:_.{ }} {{ } -:- { } } jgs {_{ }`===`{ _} ((((\) (/)))) >Gorilla Bar A gorilla walks into a bar. The bartender comes up to him and asks him what he wants. "A scotch on the rocks, please." He then lays a ten-dollar bill on the bar. The bartender takes the money and goes to fix the gorilla's drink. He thinks to himself, "Hey, this is a gorilla. He doesn't know about the prices of drinks," and takes fifteen cents back as change. He sets the drink and the money on the bar. Another bartender asks the first bartender about the gorilla and he says, "Yeah, he's nice. Go talk to him." The second bartender goes to the gorilla and strikes up a conversation. "Hey there. You know, we don't get too many gorillas in here." The gorilla responded, "Well, at $9.85 a drink, I surely ain't coming back." -<>- >Changes Two guys were sitting around talking one day. The first guy said, "Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market." "Sounds like you may be bitter because she has changed you so drastically," remarked his friend. The first guy replied, "No, I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me." -<>- >Can't Accept That One Saturday evening a man walked into a bar and said, "Excuse me, I would like a pint of beer." The bartender served the man his drink and said, "That will be four dollars." The customer pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and handed it to the bartender. "Sorry, sir," the bartender said, "but I can't accept that." So, t he man pulls out a ten-dollar bill, and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the puzzled man asked the barkeep. Pointing to a neon sign behind the bar, the bartender explained, "This is a Singles Bar." -<>- , :. , ,__.`|\' , \,^|/|='._=-_. -.,\ \_) \/(^_)\/ (_/ / -:__ .-'~__)` ___-`~. ___ ~(_'-)-~` -^~\ ~-.' _ '. .' _ `.-._~/^~. _.=^<-.'| (@) | | (@) | ->.-^` ~-._>-'`. .'~'. .'`-<~.' .-~^'__^^--~`_...__`~--^^. _,^= `-^ __.;--~`( | )`~--;-~-._`: __...'~``.~ ^'-._\_/_.-'^~-.~-_...__ /. ~- `\-. ^.~ .`~` `.~-. ^.-/~.- ^,\ |^'- .` ~|_`-.._:_._,_:_,_..-'|- ~ . ',| |=|`, .~ '.|====================|^. ',`. |='| |/\__\__\__/|\|/|\|/|\|/|\|/|\|/\__/__/__/|/| | | | | | | | | | | | |(o __ o) | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | ((__))| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |`--' | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | >Crashing Cans A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after- school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The following afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. Used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. "This recession is really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans." The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they did accept his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. "Look," he said, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?" "A lousy quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!" And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days. -<>- >Endearments A guy was invited to some old friends' home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. He was impressed since the couple had been married almost 70 years. While the wife was off in the kitchen, the guy said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those pet names." His buddy hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about ten years ago." -<>- >Ten Times A recently divorced woman was walking along the beach contemplating how badly treated she had been over the settlement, when she saw a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubbed the lamp, and out popped a genie! The genie sensed her anger and allowed her to vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the genie informed her that he would give her three wishes. But he cautioned her that because he does not believe in divorce, he would give her ex-husband ten times the amount of whatever she wishes. The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly fair, but she makes her first wish. The first wish was for a billion dollars. The genie granted her wish and she found herself sitting on a pile of one billion one-dollar bills. The genie then reminded her that her husband was now the surprised recipient of ten billion dollars. The woman could barely contain her anger when she made her second wish. The second wish was for a beautiful mansion on the shore of her own private beach. In an instant it was granted, exactly as she had imagined her dream home, in every tiny detail. But the genie reminded her again that her ex-husband now owned ten of what she had wished for, and pointed out across the bay to a small development of ten such mansions. Upon seeing this, the woman took her time to consider her final wish. Just as the genie was about to give up on her, the woman said she had made up her mind. But, before she could say anything, the genie again warned her that her ex-husband would get ten times whatever she wished for. "No problem," said the woman, smiling at last. "For my final wish, I'd like to give birth to twins." ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend EdLaF: xx / .|_ /(_)_< --- cack cack! / ( ((____.-' ) \\ / \'-.-.-'`/ -Miss.Kitty- _ \______/ (_) _|_\_ '''''''''''''''' >Ed The Chicken Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.' Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.' Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?' 'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!' 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?' 'Never,' said Ed. 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.' He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg--his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard... "Ed, wake up! You pooped the bed!" Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be! --- ...TeeHee! Thanks EdLaF! ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) .---. (_---_) (_/6 6\_) ( v ) `\ /' .-'': ;``-. / \,Y./ \ / (:)___ \ : .-'XXX`-.`\_; `.__.-XXX-.__.'\_ / / XXX \ \ `\_ / XXX \ `\ / XXX \ _`\___ jgs / \ (`--"""-') / \ (=-=-=-=-) `--...___ ___...--' (________) >Grandma's Don't Know Everything! Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that thing called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?" She was a little taken back, but she decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling." Little Tony said, "Oh, OK", and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, its not called sexual intercourse, it's called bunk beds, and Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you." --- ...whoops! HaHa! Thanks PatDeE! ================================================================ >-->From Our Friend Linda :) |><|~|><| /(((9)))\ //) -_- (\\ (((( ._. )))) ))))---(((( ((((`---')))) (___|xXxXx|___) \ | | / / ^ ^ ^ \ / \ (_._._._._._) \ | / ( | ) | | | hjw |-|-| /`-^-'\ (__,^.__) >Child's view of thunderstorms A little girl walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with lightning. The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school. She also feared the electrical storm might harm her child. Full of concern, the mother got into her car and quickly drove along the route to her child's school. As she did, she saw her little girl walking along. At each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up, and smile. More lightning followed quickly and with each, the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile. When the mother drew up beside the child, she lowered the window and called, "What are you doing?" The child answered, "I am trying to look pretty because God keeps taking my picture." --- ...TeeHee! How sweet! Thanks Linda! -<>- ___ .-" "-. .' . ; `. / : . ' : \ | ` .-. . ' | | : ( ) ; ` | | : `-' : | \ .` ; : / hjw `. . ' .' `-.___.-' >Seniors at Dunkin Donuts A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments... "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee." "I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third. "What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!" "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fourth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement. "My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.. "I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another. "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. The others nodded in agreement. "Well, count your Blessings," said a woman cheerfully - - "thank God we can all still drive." --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! ============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From Our Friend Jo Ann :) [Politics] >Grey-Haired Brigade They like to refer to us as senior citizens, old fogies, geezers, and in some cases dinosaurs. Some of us are "Baby Boomers" getting ready to retire. Others have been retired for some time. We walk a little slower these days and our eyes and hearing are not what they once were. We have worked hard, raised our children, worshiped our God and grown old together. Yes, we are the ones some refer to as being over the hill, and that is probably true. But before writing us off completely, there are a few things that need to be taken into consideration. In school we studied English, history, math, and science which enabled us to lead America into the technological age. Most of us remember what outhouses were, many of us with firsthand experience. We remember the days of telephone party-lines, 25 cent gasoline, and milk and ice being delivered to our homes. For those of you who don't know what an icebox is, today they are electric and referred to as refrigerators. A few even remember when cars were started with a crank. Yes, we lived those days. We are probably considered old fashioned and out-dated by many. But there are a few things you need to remember before completely writing us off. We won World War II, fought in Korea and Vietnam. We can quote The Pledge of Allegiance, and know where to place our hand while doing so. We wore the uniform of our country with pride and lost many friends on the battlefield. We didn't fight for the Socialist States of America, we fought for the "Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave." We wore different uniforms but carried the same flag. We know the words to the Star Spangled Banner, America, and America the Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing. We have lived what many of you have only read about in history books and we feel no obligation to apologize to anyone for America. Yes, we are old and slow these days but rest assured, we have at least one good fight left in us. We have loved this country, fought for it, and died for it, and now we are going to save it. It is our country and nobody is going to take it away from us. We took oaths to defend America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that is an oath we plan to keep. There are those who want to destroy this land we love but, like our founders, there is no way we are going to remain silent. It was the young people of this nation who elected Obama and the Democratic Congress. You fell for the "Hope and Change" which in reality was nothing but "Hype and Lies." You have tasted socialism and seen evil face to face, and have found you don't like it after all. You make a lot of noise, but most are all too interested in their careers or "Climbing the Social Ladder" to be involved in such mundane things as patriotism and voting. Many of those who fell for the "Great Lie" in 2008 are now having buyer's remorse. With all the education we gave you, you didn't have sense enough to see through the lies and instead drank the 'Cool-Aid.' Now you're paying the price and complaining about it. No jobs, lost mortgages, higher taxes, and less freedom. This is what you voted for and this is what you got. We entrusted you with the Torch of Liberty and you traded it for a paycheck and a fancy house. [which many have now lost]. Well, don't worry youngsters, the Grey Haired Brigade is here, and in 2012 we are going to take back our nation. We may drive a little slower than you would like but we get where we're going, and in 2012 we're going to the polls by the millions. This land does not belong to the man in the White House nor to the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. It belongs to "We the People" and "We the People" plan to reclaim our land and our freedom. We hope this time you will do a better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren. So the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance, Stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank God for the old geezers of the "Grey-Haired Brigade." ~Author, Anon. Grey-Haired Brigade Member I am another Gray Haired Geezer signing on. Come on guys. Let’s get this circulating around. --- ...Well said! Thank you Jo Ann! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) I thought you might find the enclosed essay very interesting. The writer certainly did his homework. -Pat Uncle Sam Does(n’t) Want You - Yahoo! News http://tinyurl.com/6gmn323 --- ..Aww history - not my strong suit but most interesting! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From PatriotUpdate: Obama Pledges Largest Debt-Reduction Plan Yet http://tinyurl.com/6bppxeq Senate quietly approves $500B increase in borrowing authority http://tinyurl.com/68cmeuf -<>- >From Teaparty.net GLENN BECK FREE OFFER http://tinyurl.com/5w4ny46 Events And News http://tinyurl.com/67grogb -<>- >From Godfather Politics Maybe It’s Time for a ‘C Student’ for President http://tinyurl.com/3ty4v9u -<>- >From Vision To America: Palin Slams Perry on 'Crony Capitalism' http://tinyurl.com/62x3nkl -<>- >From BizarreNews: There are a lot of reasons why The United States is better than France; we have women who shave their armpits, we don't give cigarettes to babies and we tend to shy away from cheeses that smell like feet. Another big advantage is that our spouses cannot sue us for not performing in the bedroom (or bathtub or on the kitchen table...depending on how kinky you are). This was not the case for poor, Jean-Louis. After his divorce the 51-year-old man was sued by his 47-year-old ex-wife because he failed to put out in the bedroom. Talk about adding insult to injury. The man was fined under section 215 of France's civil code, which says married couples agree to a "shared communal life." Jean-Louis complained that he was often tired and had health problems that prevented him from being sexually active with his ex, but the judge decreed, "By getting married, couples agree to sharing their life and this clearly implies they will have sex with each other, and in this case it was absent." He has been ordered to pay his wife 10,000 Euros, or $13,965, to compensate for a lack of sex over 21 years of marriage. That's over $300 a bop for most married couples. Not a bad rate at all in Vegas. *----- Sword-wielding man arrested on highway -----* MERRILLVILLE, Ind. - Police in Indiana said they arrested a man spotted walking shirtless along an interstate while holding a sword on his shoulder. Indiana State Police said Master Trooper Rick Hudson and Trooper Ricky Rayner were responding to a call about an abandoned Toyota in the middle lane of Interstate 65 about 2:30 a.m. Sunday in Merrillville when they spotted the man, who appeared to be in his mid to late 40s, The Post-Tribune in Merrillville reported Monday. State Police Sgt. Ann Wojas said the man swung his sword at Hudson and then dropped the 35-inch weapon when Hudson ordered him to put it down. Wojas said the man attempted to get inside a sport utility vehicle that swerved to avoid hitting a police car, but surrendered when ordered at gunpoint. The man, who gave police several different names and addresses, claimed to be "cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs," police said. The unidentified suspect was charged with attempted carjacking, resisting law enforcement and possession of marijuana. *----- Pet insurer giving award for oddest claim -----* BREA, Calif. - A California pet health insurance company said finalists for the strangest claim of the year award include a dog that swallowed 100 rocks. Veterinary Pet Insurance Co. of Brea said finalists for the VPI Hambone Award, given each year for the most unusual pet health- insurance claim, include Harley, a pug that ate 100 rocks while boarding at a veterinarian's office, and Chico, a Chihuahua that sustained injuries when it was lifted off the ground by a great horned owl. Other finalists include a cat named Eddy that landed on a hot wood stove while chasing a fly and a toy poodle named Howie that needed more than 15 visits to the veterinarian to remove an acorn from its windpipe. VPI said all of the animals made full recoveries and visitors to VPIHamboneAward.com can vote on the finalists through Sept. 20. The company, which insures more than 485,000 pets in the United States, said the award was named after Hambone, a dog that ate an entire Thanksgiving ham while trapped in a refrigerator. *----- Man caught stuffing lobsters in pockets -----* D'IBERVILLE, Miss. - A Mississippi man was being held for allegedly attempting to steal live lobsters by stuffing them into the pockets of his shorts, police said. Police offers responded Tuesday to a call from employees at the D'Iberville Winn Dixie, who said 35-year-old Nathan Hardy attempted to leave the store without paying for items hidden on his person, WLOX-TV, Biloxi, Miss., reported. The D'Iberville Police Department said Hardy put two live lobsters in the front pockets of his shorts and stuffed bags of shrimp and a pork loin inside his waist band. He allegedly attempted to flee officers when they arrived on scene, but tripped and fell. Hardy was arrested and taken to the Harrison County Adult Detention Center. *-------- Sperm donor fathers 150 offspring ---------* WASHINGTON - A Washington area social worker said she has learned the sperm donor used to conceive her son seven years ago fathered 150 other children. Cynthia Daily, 48, told The New York Times in an article Tuesday she began a quest for her son's half-siblings by searching a Web-based registry for other children fathered by the same sperm donor. Daily said she set up an online group to track the children and today they number 150 -- with more on the way. Her story has prompted concern among parents, donors and medical experts about the potential negative consequences of having so many children fathered by the same donor. Britain, France and Sweden limit how many children a sperm donor can father but there is no limit in the United States, only guidelines. Law Professor Naomi R. Kahn of George Washington University said without limits the same donor could theoretically produces hundreds of related children. It's that accidental incest could occur, Kahn said. --- ...ya think? Geesh! ================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) /:""| .****, (\/) |:`66|_ @@@@@\ `, \/ C` _)aa`@@@\ \ \ ._| (_ ?@@| \ )_/ =' @@@@| | /`\8\ \(```/ | || |8| /^^\ | / || |8| /\::/|| | || |8| \ | ||| \ || |~| \| ||| \ :| |=: |:|\\.:.:.::. ||_|,| |:| \ ':':':` \)))|| ((( | | :|| | | (\/) | :|| | | \/ ) :|| | \ | :|| | `\ | :|| |:.:. `~-._ |_:||_ /~))\ `~~-._ jgs (_,__)) /_/YY `':':':':':':` >I JUST WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU Do you really know how much I want to grow old with you? If nothing of importance happens in our lifetime That's okay ... The only thing I really want to do Is to share our lives and grow old together If I was asked tomorrow what I want most of all That would make me happy and fulfilled in every way It would be such an easy question to answer For I would say ... All I want is to grow old with you How could I ever be happy without you in my life? How could I take another breath without you? You are so much a part of me as I am a part of you As you breathe ....... I too have breath When you smile ..... I smile along with you When you cry ..... I feel my tears begin When you are scared ..... My fears start up too Ray, I need to share your life and your love now and forever I feel your heart beating when you hold me tight I can feel my heart beating faster As our hearts feel our love and beat as one I know you are my man, Ray ... My one and only true love I could never keep going on ... Without You It's just not possible for our hearts to not beat as one When your heartbeat is troubled My heart quakes in fear I just can't face life without you For Without You, I am nothing I ask you 'Just WHAT is my life ..... Without You???' It is as nothingness without movement Without song I need you more than I need the breath I breathe Without You, I would die for I would have no reason to go on My life would have no reason to go on and would surely die All I would have remaining is a lifetime of loneliness and tears I love you so much and need you to be here with me forever For without you ..... I have no desire to go on 8 8 8 /```| .@@@@@, 8 8 | 66|_ @@@@@@@@, 8 (\/) 8 C _) aa`@@@@@@ 8 \/ 8(\/) \ ._| (_ ?@@@@ 8 |8:\/:~:~) /:~:~: =' @@@@~:~:~8 |8::::::/\\/`\;_:::\ (__::::::8 |8:::::| \ '|___/` \\// `\):::8 |8::::|| | '|::/ / ^^ \ \:::8 |8::::|| | ' \:| \__/\__/ |:::8 |8o:::|\ \ ' |:\_\ /_/::::8o |"8o:::=\ \===::/`\`%%`/'\::::"8o |\"8o~| \_\ \| `""` |:~:~\8o \ \"8o\ ))) \ \::::"8o \ \"8o\`. \ \ \::::"8o \|~~~~~| -|| -|mmmmmmmmmmmm~~~~~| `~~~~~| || |~~| |~| |~~~~~~ jgs | || | |__| |__| | || | \ | \ | |__||__| (~~^\(~~^\ ( \ \ `-._)`-._) `-._)-._) I need to be beside you, now and forever, My love I ask the Lord to grant me this one request Let us always be together and be allowed to grow old together Until the day we take our last breath and fly away to Heaven's shore Together we will rise on wings of glory As we rise in the flash of an eye to meet our Lord in the sky That is my desire ... Just to grow old and always be together Then, still together, rise up into the clouds to meet our Lord You and I will one day be together in Heaven We'll walk those beautiful streets of gold and you'll have no pain What a glorious time we will have one day very soon You and I will be HOME with our blessed Lord Forever Until that long awaited day arrives for us I just want to love you and grow old with you Sharing each day of our life as we travel on Until the glorious day we step into an endless, eternall life THEN IT WILL BE YOU AND I ....... FOREVER TOGETHER!! Phyllis Smith Copyright 8/30/2011 All Rights Reserved Thanks for any comments you might have. http://www.thestarlitecafe.com/poems/105/poem_91201169.html --- ...awww, Lovely! Thank You Bunni! ============================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: ,==. \\// .-~~-. ,",-""-.". | | | | | | .-"| |. ". `,",-" ,'.". `| |_,-' | | | | | | hjw ". `-._,-' ." `-.___,-' As I serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let me know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale. "I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something." she suggested. "I don't have a girlfriend," I answered. "No girlfriend? Why not?" "My wife won't let me." -<>- My husband grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong. "I have to ask you to move your car," my husband told him. "Oh, sure. Is it in someone's way?" "No," he replied, "it's parked in the wrong driveway." -<>- A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password. "The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says. "Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk tech- nician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password." "Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me." -<>- .--..-""""-..--. ///`/////////\`\\\ ||/ |///""\\\| \|| ## ( 6. 6 ) ## /_\ \ _. / /_\ _`) (`_ /` '--' `\ / _,,_ \ / /` `\ \ /\_/ / 6 6\ \_/\ \ \/\ Y /\/ / \ \/ `'U` \/ / \( \ / )/ |\_/ \_/| / ____ \ \ ( || ) / (__)||(__) | || | |__||__| jgs |==||==| /~`//~`/ / // / `""` `"` A four-year-old was showing a little friend the family photos that covered one wall in their basement. Out of sight but not out of earshot, her mother overheard her say, "Here's a picture of my mommy when she was a little girl. I wasn't there, but people say she used to be nice." -<>- >Where My Family Came From ____ _ /////|\\ ``````\\\ `/` ))) \`, ((( `--- ,\\\ ,---/ )),))) / , `(( ((( `--. ) `__)) ________ | | ,-./\ \ _,-' \ \__,-. \ \,-' /`.__,-'_,-\ `-. / \____`--'____________ | \ Starshine When my granddaughter, Ann, was 9-years-old, she was given an assignment by her teacher to write a story on "Where my family came from." The purpose was to understand your genealogy. I was not aware of her assignment when she asked me at the dining room table one night, "Grandma, where did I come from?" I responded quite nervously because my son and daughter-in- law were out of town and I was stalling until they returned home, "Well, honey, the stork brought you." "Where did Mom come from then?" "The stork brought her, too." "OK, then.... where did you come from?" "The stork brought me too, dear." "Okay, thanks, Grandma." I did not think anything more about it until two days later when I was cleaning Ann's room and read the first sentence of her paper... "For three generations there have been no natural births in our family." -<>- FIVE THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK: 5. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen." 4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the Time management course you sent me to." 3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time." 2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?" AND THE NUMBER ONE THING TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK: 1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen." -<>- ? ____"_ | | /" _))) |\_/|______, /===( _\ /::| Q ____) ("___| > ,_ /:::| / ,_ o _= / _/// /::::|_ / / _/// _______| |____/ | _|:::::| |:___/ | | __) \_/ /____| | '----'\_/ /___| _| / \ ) ) _| / \ : / _\\\__/ \ / _\\\__/ \ / / ( /===( / \ \ / \ / \ \ / \ | \ \ | \ | \ \ | \ | \ \ |,_________\ | \ \ / ) / ) |,_______\___\ / / ( | | / \ | | / \ | |/ \| |/ \| S__ S__ S__ S__ /___\ /___\ b'ger /___\ /___\ A group of tourists were watching the re-enactment of an ancient Egyptian religious ritual. One turned to a nearby local, pointed to the statue that was being praised and asked, "Pardon me, but what was the name of that god sup- posed to be?" "Why do you ask?" the man replied. The tourist shrugged. "Just idol curiosity, I guess." -<>- Although I knew our commanding officer hated doling out weekend passes, I thought I had a good reason. "My wife is pregnant and I want to be with her," I told the C.O. Much to my surprise he said, "Permission granted." Inspired by my success, a fellow soldier also requested a weekend pass. His wife wasn't pregnant, so when the C.O. asked why he should grant him permission, my friend re- sponded, "My wife is getting pregnant this weekend and I want to be with her." ======================================================== >-->From AndyChaps: >Andy Says... Just Think About This! ** Diplomacy is letting someone else have your way. - Lester B. Pearson __ ___ / / ___( (\_( ) )/ / |\___` \\_\/_/_/_\ | | ____/\_\`._._...^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\ | ||\__/ '_\ \`_._\.; \_\ |\\)\)\| \ \|| | | | | | | \ \ \|-\\ \ | \ || | |^| | | | \ __ \ \ | | | | \ \)\\) \ \_\ |\|\\|\ \|ejm__| |____| \ \)\\\ \ \ \|/|-\| \ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner. In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world. The most common greeting in Florida: How's the hip? If you lower the prices, they will come. When agnostics die, they go to the Great Perhaps. If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday? In Canada, they have two Seasons...six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. Fresh bread gets hard and stale croutons get soft. Go figure. If at first you don't succeed... blame someone else and seek counseling. I have realized why politicians do nothing to improve the quality of public school education. They are terrified of educated voters. Ty has come up with a new Beanie Baby for the Millenium. It's a sheep named "Consumer!" I've been retired for a couple of years now. How did I ever find the time to work? I couldn't find an antonym for antonym. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always! Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them? I've learned that your family won't always be there for you - unless, of course, you win the lottery. I have seen the future and it has corporate sponsors. If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? What's the best thing to ever come out of Kentucky? I-75. A surplus is when politicians can't decide on where to waste all the money. People who live in glass houses should change clothes in the basement. Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand. I want to see Hallmark come up with a card that captures a mother's warm-hearted glow of pride when her son tells her that he met the girl of his dreams, who can also gut a deer. Isn't it ironic that they have a documentary on floods and the host is Roger Mudd? Long-distance relationships do work. I'm dating a girl in Chicago that I met on AOL and it's going great. I still hate AOL, though. Did you know race car spelled backwards is race car? Who says NASCAR isn't educational??? I haven't spoken to my wife in a week. I don't like to interrupt her. -<>- >Things Worth Pondering ** (, ,) | *_ | \\ (('^, // \`()) _.'/ ` )__)-' \ ) .__)(_.'___________ \_ _/_ ,.__,-_,-' \`-' \' ), ( ) \ , ejm '| \/ Does a skinny ballerina wear a one-one? I know a little suffering is good for the soul, but somebody must be trying to make a saint out of me! Laughter is like premium gasoline: it helps take the knock out of living! A bird in the hand will poop in your palm. If you can smile when things go wrong, then you have someone else in mind to blame. Into each life a little rain must fall... but we could use a little less snow. I tried relaxing, but I don't know ... I feel more comfortable being tense. When you're in a jam, good friends will bring you bread with peanut butter on it. Relax! You are NOT responsible for everything in the universe. That's still MY job. Love, God. (STROADEnote: AMEN!!!) We've been through so much together, and most of it was YOUR fault. Some folks cause happiness wherever they go, others WHENever they go. Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty. Due to the current budget cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice. -<>- . . ) ( _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _(.--.) {{ { { { { { { { { { { ( '_') jgs >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>`--'> >A Different Kind Of Pet ** The guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted an unusual pet. He then bought a centipede, which came in a little white box. He took the box home and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink. So he asked him: "Would you like to go to Frank's and have a Soda?" No answer. This bothered him a bit So a few minutes later he again asked him: "How about going to the Drug stope and having a soda with me?" Again...no answer. He asked him one more time: "Hey, would you like to go & have a soda with me?" A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time. I'm just putting on my shoes". -<>- ___ (___) /` `\ / /"\ \ \_/o o\_/ ( _ ) `\ /` /\\V//\ / /_ _\ \ \ \___/ / \/===\/ || || || || ||___|| |_____| jgs ||| / Y \ `"`"` >Senior Moments ** Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." -<>- ` : | | | |: || : ` : | |+|: | : : :| . ` ` : | :| || |: : ` | | :| : | : |: | . .' ': || |: | ' ` || | : | |: : | . ` `' || | ' | * ` : | | :| |*| : : * * ` | : : | . ` ' :| | :| . : : * .` | | | : .:| ` | || | : |: | ' . + ` | : .: . '| | : :| : . . . ` *| || : ` | | :| | : . . . || |.: * | || : : . . . * . . ` |||. + + '| ||| . . * . +:`|! . |||| :.| + . ..!|* . | :`||+ ||| . + : |||` .| :| | | |.| ||` * + ' + :|| |` :.+. || || | |:`|| ` . .||` . ..|| | |: '` `| | |` + . +++ || !|!: ` :| | + . . | . `|||.: .|| . ' `|. . `:||| + ||' ` __ + * `' `'|. `: "' `---"""----....____,..^---`^``----.,.___ `. `. . ___,--'""`---"' ^ ^ ^ ^ """'---,..___ __,..--- --"' ^ ``--..,__ D. Rice >New Year Prayer: Helen Steiner Rice ** God grant us this year a wider view, So we see others' faults through the eyes of You. Teach us to judge not with hasty tongue, Neither the adult ... nor the young. Give us patience and grace to endure And a stronger faith so we feel secure. Instead of remembering, help us forget The irritations that caused us to fret. Freely forgiving for some offense And finding each day a rich recompense. In offering a friendly, helping hand And trying in all ways to understand; That all of us whoever we are ... Are trying to reach an unreachable star. For the great and small ... the good and bad, The young and old ... the sad and glad Are asking today; Is life worth living? The answer is only in, loving and giving. For only Love can make man kind And Kindness of Heart brings Peace of Mind. By giving love, we can start this year To lift the clouds of hate and fear. -<>- ..--""| | | | .---' (\-.--| |---------. / \) \ | | \ |:. | | | | |:. | |o| | |:. | `"` | |:. |_ __ __ _ __ / `""""`""|=`|"""""""` |=_| jgs |= | >WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR SNAIL MAIL JUNK MAIL ** (Andy says... This is naughty, but kinda cute too! LOL) When you get ads in your phone or utility bill, include them with the payment. Let them throw it away. When you get those pre-approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that, most of them come with postage paid return envelopes, right? Well, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes! Send an ad for your local dry cleaner to American Express. Or a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their application back! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can send it back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting all their junk back in the mail. Let's let them know what it's like to get junk mail, and best of all THEY'RE paying for it! Twice! Let's help keep our postal service busy since they say E-mail is cutting into their business, and that's why they need to increase postage - again! Send this to a friend or two or three...or fifty... =================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Best Parents http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestparents.html Earth In Perspective http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/earth.html Dreamy Ladies http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dreamy.html Notes To God http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cnotes.html Flower Dog Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/flowerart2.html When Artists Get Bored http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/abored.html Amazing Horse Trainer http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/horsetrainer.html Bolivia's Road Of Death http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bolivia.html Doormat Humor http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doormat.html Got A Nanosecond? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano.html Luxury Golf Carts http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golfcarts.html -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) AMAZING 6YR OLD MINNESOTA DRUMMER http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJv0ZakanL0 --- ...He's got it! 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Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Lucky 2 http://www.buffaloschips.com/gsdhdjd.htm Lucky 3 http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghsjs.htm Lucky 4 http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshslkssjs.htm Magic 1320 http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdhdjd.htm Magic Food http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdhdjssaa.htm Bunker http://www.buffaloschips.com/2i3ojr2.htm Bunny Egg http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhyug.htm Bury Her http://www.buffaloschips.com/ioue0.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Beaches in Italy are now training dogs to become lifeguards. That should work as long as someone throws a tennis ball at you while you're drowning." -Jimmy Fallon "Hey, I read about a McDonald's in California that was built with mostly recycled synthetic material. Which is ironic because recycled synthetic material is also the main ingredient in a McRib." -Jimmy Fallon "A new survey found that half of all American employees have faked a sick day. While the other half have just lied on a survey." -Jimmy Fallon "Fashion Week starts today in New York. If you can tell, I'm very much into fashion. My outfit tonight is called 'Creepy Uncle.'" -Craig Ferguson "President Obama plans to create thousands of new jobs by replacing all automobile GPS systems with real people who sit in the back seat with a map." -Jimmy Kimmel "There are prayers that help us last through the day, or endure the night. There are prayers of friends and strangers that give us strength for the journey. And there are prayers that yield our will to a will greater than our own." - President George W. Bush In any moment of decision, The best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing. ~ Theodore Roosevelt >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? 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