Whose Business Is It ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ .-. [.-''-., | //`~\) (<| 0\0|>_ ";\ _"/ \\_ _, __\|'._/_ \ '='-, /\ \ || )_///_\>> ( '._ T |\ | _/),-' '. '._.-' /'/ | | '._ _.'`-.._/ snd ,\ / '-' |/ [_/\-----j _.--.__[_.--'_\__ / `--' '---._ / '---. -'. .' _.-- '. \_ '--.___ _;.-o / '.__ ___/______.__8----' *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2010 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2010 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================================================================ >-->News From InspiredBuffalo: . , )). -===- ,(( ))). ,((( ))))). .:::. ,(((((( ))))))))). :. .: ,((((((((' `))))))))))). : - : ,(((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))_:' ':_(((((((((((((((' `)))))))))))).-' \___/ '-._((((((((((( `))))_._.-' __)( )(_ '-._._((((' `))'---)___)))'\_ _/'((((__(---'((' `))))))))))))|' '|((((((((((((' jim `)))))))))/' '\(((((((((' `)))))))| |(((((((' `))))))| |((((((' /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ /' '\ '---..___..---' Nancy is currently in a hospice suite so she can receive 24 hour nursing. Upon suggestion of an Inspired Reader I have set Nancy up with a Caring Bridge site so you can share your thoughts and prayers with her and her family. The site is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/nancycantafio buffalo =============================================================== >-->From the FunnyBone: .-~-. The Small Box Of Eggs .' '. / \ .-~-. : ; The elderly minister was searching .' '.| | his closet for his collar before / \ : church one Sunday morning. In the : ; .-~""~-,/ back of the closet, he found a | /` `'. small box containing 3 eggs and : | \ 100 $1 bills. He called his wife \ | / into the closet to ask her about `. .' \ .' the box and its contents. jgs `~~~` '-.____.-' Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for their entire 25 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the minister asked her, "WHY?" The wife replied that she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The minister felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for. She replied, "Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbors for $1." ======================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Becky :) >Whose Business Is It If... . `: : : . __.'_ .' : _.--' `-._.' .-'.. .. `. : .-. .--.`. : : : : : : : : :`;; :`; ; : `.`O;' `O;.' : .' .---. .--. ; . : '._ :' ; :: : .-`-.; . .' .': `. ``` `. :-' : : `-.__ ._ _.' : ; : ;``` : `. _.-.' . ``-._ : `.-' : : `-. : _.: ` `-._ `, `._.-' ; `.`-. ;_, _., : `.: ;' ;-' ; : ``.___.' : : ;_..--' `. ; `-.__ ...' : : : jgs :-:__; : : : .-~~~--..__: : :___..---.. .'.' : `, :,' : `; ; `: _.'`._ :,' `~~~'----'' `'-.____....' I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.. I've even earned the right to be wrong. I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it). MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART! --- ...So True! Thanks Becky! ====================================================================== >-->YOU KNOW YOU NEED A NEW LAWYER WHEN: _ /(| ( : __\ \ _____ (____) `| (____)| | (____).__| (___)__.|_____ SSt - The prosecutor sees your lawyer in thee hall, and they high-five each other. - During your initial consultation he trries to sell you Amway. - He tells you that his last good case wwas a "Budweiser." - He picks the jury by playing "duck-ducck-goose." - During the trial you catch him playingg his Gameboy. - Every couple of minutes he yells, "I ccall Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot. - He frequently gives juror No. 4 the fiinger. - Just before he says "Your Honor," he mmakes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers. - Whenever his objection is overruled, hhe tells the judge, "Whatever." - He giggles every time he hears the worrd "briefs." - He keeps citing the legal case of Godzzilla v. Mothra. - He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..." ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend James: .:~~--__ __--~~:. ,:;'~'-,__~~--..,---..--~~__,-`~`::. ,:;' ''-,_ (. .)_,-`` `::. ,;' \ `\)/ `:. ' `--' ` __._ _.._ _._ -~~ ~~--..__.._-~~~--..--~~ ~~--.___.---...-'~ ~~---...-.__seal__. Gulf tuna ... Packed in oil --- ...Oh My! Thanks James! ======================================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatDeE: Waves are my home .:~~--__ __--~~:. Wind is my life ,:;'~'-,__~~--..,---..--~~__,-`~`::. ,:;' ''-,_ (. .)_,-`` `::. ,;' \ `\)/ `:. ' `--' ` __._ _.._ _._ -~~ ~~--..__.._-~~~--..--~~ ~~--.___.---...-'~ ~~---...-.__seal__. >Sucker Punched? SHORT & SWEET... BUT, IT IS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF obama's SKILL... It seems like a miracle that our beloved leader was able to convince BP to establish a $20 billion slush (oops, escrow) fund to compensate those hurt by the ongoing oil plume in the Gulf of Mexico. After all, he had no constitutional power to force them to do so; so had to resort to Chicago-style negotiating. But, let us take a closer look at the effect on BP’s finances: 1. BP will establish a $20 billion fund, but will pay only $7 billion into it during 2010. 2. BP is a British corporation, but has a very large operating entity in the US but only about 30% of it’s income is derived from the US. 3. By Generally Accepted Accounting Principles (GAP), BP must book the entire $20 billion expense in the year accrued. Therefore, they will book a $20 billion expense in 2010, reducing their US tax liability by $7 billion. 4. Our dear leader also convinced this massive corporation to show their concern for the “small people” by withholding dividends to their shareholders for the last 3 quarters of 2010. This reduces their outward cash flow by about $7.5 billion, including approximately 40% of that amount to US citizens. Assuming that the Bush tax cuts will survive through 2010, the US Treasury will lose another $450 million in taxes on that amount. We won’t even discuss the effect on the US economy. Let us put the results into a table easily understood by the small people (including me): BP Cash Flow: O Escrow funding ($7 billion) O Dividend saving $7.5 billion O Tax savings $7 billion O Net favorable cash flow : $7.5 billion US Treasury Tax Receipts: O BP Corporate income tax ($7.5 billion) O BP Shareholders ($0.45 billion) O Net unfavorable tax receipts ($7.95 billion) I guess we really should expect this. After all, our dear leader is the most inexperienced man in ANY room he enters. Now tell me …………………Did the enlightened one “Kick Ass”, or did he get ”Sucker Punched”? This is just one more reason why a ‘community organizer” should NOT be negotiating anything dealing with money and finances! Bottom line: The $20 Billion BP is putting up will create a $7.5 Billion positive cash for BP flow this year. But, Obama actually “thinks” he really did something special and “kicked ass’ (in his own words). In reality, BP executives are laughing at him and ‘kicked his ass”. Oh well….what’s new with this President anyway??? He is in over his head when he starts dealing with “business people”. --- ...Very Interesting! Thanks PatDeE! ======================================================================= >-->From ArcaMaxJokes: _____ , ___)) / | 6 6 (___( _e ____/ /_ / \ o\_/ \ / /\' _ _)\ /_< )____/\_\ ___oo' ,ooooo,|_/ -//,-( / |=/ | \ \ \ \ )_______\ / ) / ) / / ( | | / \ | _________ |/_______\|________. = = /( )\ b'ger /,/ 7 \\_ >Cheap Husband After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror. -<>- /\ / .\ (_/\_) )( /__\ _/_/\_\_ _/_/__\_\_ _/_/_/\_\_\_ _/_/_/__\_\_\_ __/_/_/_/\_\_\_\__ _)__,________'____(_ )__________________( ||| - | | _____-____ | | |\ /| | ' | \ / | | | | \ / | | | | \/ | | | | /\ |'| | | / \ | | _| | / \ | |_ //| |/ \| \\ //| / \. //| / || //| / __||__ //| , -__ __- ____//| / ' || . _)___/| / / / || \ /\ )__ \_ / __/_____/\_____\__ /. \ | / |__________________| (_/\_) ' / /. ///\\\ \ )( | | | /(( ))\ - | //\\ | -| | / \\// \ | huummmhummmmmhummmmmm... // \\__,_| | | - /\ \/ /\ ' |__ / | //- \____| | / / () () () \ \ ' ___// ./\ \ | | / / /\ /\ /\ \ \ | ,```_ _```, )__ //\\ |_| - | | //\\//\\//\\ | - c - - c | (( )) -| | .| | |(( )( )( ))| | ./|-` `-|\. | |\\//| | | | ' | \\//\\//\\// | | /` \ /` \ |- | \/ | | ' | | | \/ \/ \/ | ' /_| \) (/ |_\ | | () | | | | | | () () () | | | .__| |__, | | |//\\| - | -| | | /\ /\ /\ | | | | | | | -|/ \| | - | , | //\\//\\//\\ ' | | | | | __|_ | | _|_| |_|_ |// \( )/ \\| |__+ |___\ /___| _)___||____||___| |___||__ \\// __|__, | ______===_____===_______|____| |__| |_,|__|__| |____\/____| | , __________________________________________b'ger __/ >Monks A man in the middle ages became fed up with humanity and decided to spend the rest of his life in a monastery. The abbot warned him that he would have to take a vow of silence and live the rest of his life as a scribe, to which the man replied, "No Problem. I'm sick of talking." Ten years went by, and the abbot called for the man. He told him that he was a model monk and perfect scribe, and that they were very happy to have him. As per their tradition, he was allowed to say two words. Asked if he had anything to say, the man nodded and said: "Food cold." The abbot sent him on his way. Ten years later, he was brought before the abbot again and once again told how pleased they were with his performance, and that he was again allowed two more words if he so chose. The man said: "Bed hard," and was sent back to work. Another ten years went by and again the abbot sent for the man, telling him that he was the best monk they had ever had, and that he was allowed another two words. The man nodded and said: "I quit." To this, the abbot replied in a disgusted tone: "Doesn't surprise me. You've done nothing but complain since you got here." -<>- >The Young Actor Matt's dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years." "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part." -<>- >Stockbroker or Frog Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: "Help me, ladies! I am a stockbroker who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!" One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman, aghast, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into a stockbroker!" The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a stockbroker!" -<>- >Football Wedding Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?" The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family." "What do you call it?" "We call it a football wedding." The first asks, "What's a football wedding?" The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!" -<>- >Tennessee In the mountains of Tennessee there is a gaunt hillbilly who is still untouched by the complexities of modern economics. He depends on the nearby river and forest for his fish and meat, grows a few vegetables, and drinks spring water. A neighbor visited him recently and urged him to wise up, move to a city and get a job in a factory that was paying high wages. "You ain't getting anywhere just staying here where you was born, doin' nothin'," the neighbor said. "Ain't gettin' nowhere?" the hillbilly exclaimed. "I wouldn't say that! When my pappy died and left me, I didn't have nothin'. But look at me now. I got nine dogs!" -<>- >Light Bulb Database Q: How many database people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time. ====================================================================== >-->In The World News: [POLITICS] >From Patriot Update: EXPOSED: How ObamaCare will Affect You & Your Health http://tinyurl.com/2fsak6d 7 Things The Establishment Gets Wrong About The Tea Party http://tinyurl.com/25q3xtt Hillary Clinton commits to UN Small Arms Treaty http://tinyurl.com/28xl9f7 -<>- >From Manhattan Declaration: Republicans to reclaim marriage and life on their agenda! http://tinyurl.com/249l73g -<>- >From WorldNetDaily Lemming alert: Are there 2 Glenn Becks? http://tinyurl.com/286cy2v -<>- >From Taipan Daily: The Reality Gap Is Closing Quickly It's a common enough question these days, what with the unusually large gap between the economic facts on the ground, and investors' supposedly self-apparent belief in the stock market. If you turn on the TV tonight, you will most probably see an ad or two for "toning shoes." Most all sneaker pitches imply that somehow, some way, shoes will make you more effective, better able to convert the same old muscle power into faster sprints, higher jumps and longer distances. These new shoes really turn the paradigm completely upside down: We are told that their clunky soles are deliberately less efficient in terms of energy transfer. This is supposed to save time instead. Some kind of bizarre perversion of Einstein's law? Naaah. But perhaps a perversion of common sense. Working Your A** Off Read the full article here: http://tinyurl.com/345zda9 >Postcards From Weimar Germany [hyperinflation] by Justice Litle, Editorial Director, Taipan Publishing Group Walter Levy is a German-born oil consultant. His father, a German lawyer, took out a life insurance policy in 1903. "Every month he had made the payments faithfully," recounts Levy. "It was a twenty-year policy, and when it came due, he cashed it in and bought a single loaf of bread." Such was life in the German Weimar Republic. Things got so bad there for a while, dentists and doctors stopped asking for currency, seeking payment in butter or eggs instead. But the farmers weren't keen on trading their produce for paper money either. Prices rose not just by the day, but by the hour -- or even the minute. If you had your morning coffee in a café, and you preferred drinking two cups rather than one, it was cheaper to order both cups at the same time. Read the full Article here: http://tinyurl.com/2fbn524 -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Dog's 4.5-inch tongue sets world record --------- AUSTIN, Texas - Guinness World Records officials said accomplishments recorded in the 2011 edition, out Thursday, include a Texas dog's 4.5-inch tongue. Guinness officials said Puggy, a 10-year-old Pekingese, made it into the record book with a tongue nearly as long as his body, The Daily Telegraph reported Thursday. Becky Stanford, Puggy's current owner, said the canine was abandoned by its original owners. "People who meet Puggy for the first time do a lot of double takes; they are in total disbelief and are amused by his unique appearance," Stanford said. "It means a great deal to us that he has accomplished what he has. From being a stray dog, being dumped, to being a Guinness World Record Holder is just phenomenal. I just can't believe it." Other new records in the 2011 edition of the book include world's largest collection of "Smurfs" memorabilia, belonging to Stephen Parkes, 44, of Nottingham, England, and the world's smallest cow, a Rishworth, England, bovine measuring 33 inches from hind to foot. -- Bank robbery ends when teller said no cash -------- NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. - Police in South Carolina said they arrested a man who tried to rob a bank but instead thanked the teller and left when she claimed not to have any money. North Charleston police said Melvin Jesse Blain, 31, who had recently served 46 months in prison for a bank robbery conviction, admitted to entering the Wachovia branch at 1 p.m. and handing the teller a note demanding $30,000 in $100 bills, the Charleston Post and Courier reported Thursday. The police report said Blain thanked the teller and left the bank when the teller told him she didn't have the money. Blain was arrested while walking down the street where the bank is located. He was charged with entering a bank with the intent to steal. -<>- >From Archive 9/12/07 CoffeBreak: Lake cleanup yields kitchen sink Philanthropic pirates plundered the high seas, well a lake in Texas, to lay claim to a year's worth of bounty resting on the lake's bed. In the 13th annual Lake Travis Underwater Cleanup, more than 1,000 volunteers grabbed as much garbage, debris and hidden treasures from the Austin-area body of water, the Austin American-Statesman reported Monday. And what a bounty! Divers Sunday found a kitchen sink, a bottle of wine, a debit card, underwear, a sunken personal watercraft, and about 600 pounds of aluminum cans. Compared to last year when drought conditions shriveled the lake's shoreline, the 2006 clean-up was a little easier after record summer storms helped fill the lake, officials said. "It actually made it easier to dive this year," said Anita Mennucci, executive director of the Colorado River Foundation. "Last year the lake was so far out, it was tough to get to." Mennucci said lake lovers must be aware of how their behavior affects the environment. "All that trash affects the ecosystem," she said. High food prices prompt pasta boycott A jump in food prices has many Italians seeing red -- and it's not the marinara sauce. With food prices spiking up to 20 percent in the past two months, consumer rights groups are calling for Italians to stay out of the markets Thursday. At the very least, they want people to boycott pasta, which has been picked as the symbol of the food-price protest, ANSA reported Monday. As part of their protest, the associations will give away pasta, bread and milk in the main squares of Italian cities, including the piazza in front of Parliament in Rome. "We want the government to proclaim a price emergency and intervene immediately with measures to bring down prices by 5 percent," said Carlo Rienzi, the head of Codacons. =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Wesley :) ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw We are growing old together, And as we go down through the years We are sharing everything in sight-- The laughter and the tears. Now as we sit across the breakfast table, Our two hands intertwined, Will you lean a little closer, dear, and tell me Which pills are mine? Evelyne H. Ziehler --- ..HaHa! Thanks Wesley! =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend DonnaL :) >FYI ( ) ( ___...(-------)-....___ .-"" ) ( ""-. .-'``'|-._ ) _.-| / .--.| `""---...........---""` | / / | | | | | | \ \ | | `\ `\ | | `\ `| | _/ /\ / (__/ \ / _..---""` \ /`""---.._ .-' \ / '-. : `-.__ __.-' : : ) ""---...---"" ( : '._ `"--...___...--"` _.' jgs \""--..__ __..--""/ '._ """----.....______.....----""" _.' `""--..,,_____ _____,,..--""` `"""----"""` Large doses of coffee can be lethal. Ten grams, or 100 cups over 4 hours, can kill the average human. -- Animation artists love inside jokes. In the Disney film Beauty and the Beast, the road signs that Belle’s father encounters in the forest show the names of two California cities: one points to Anaheim, while the other points down a dark, sinister-looking path to Valencia. In truth, Anaheim is the site of Disneyland, while the rival Six Flags Magic Mountain amusement theme park is in the city of Valencia. -- Purely coincidental, Disneyland and Walt Disney World amusement parks are in counties with the same name. The former is in Orange County, California; the latter is in Orange County, Florida. -- When in a movie theater, if there is a balcony, never sit underneath – that's a low sound frequency trap. According to a Sony Cinema Products Corp. representative, there’s a "sweet" spot, where the sound is better than anyplace else in the movie theater. To find it, you should look for the speakers and position yourself in between them – usually about three-quarters of the way back from the movie screen. -- Johnny Carson's reply to a reporter when asked what he would like his epitaph to be was "I'll be right back." -- The blood of a honeybee never clots. -- The world’s largest oil storage facility is at Ju’aymah in Saudi Arabia, the site of five giant oil tanks that can hold up to 81,232,890 gallons of oil each. If all that oil was gasoline, each tank would have enough fuel for the average car to take 6,000 round trips to the moon. -- The thirteenth of the month falls on Friday more often than on any other day of the week. In a 400-year period, there will be 688 Friday the thirteenths, as compared to 687 Sundays or Wednesdays, the next highest number. Months that begin with a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th." -- Based on population, Chinese Mandarin is the most commonly spoken language in the world. Spanish follows in second place, English is third, and Bengali is fourth. -- .-~*~--,. .-. .-~-. ./OOOOOOOOO\.'OOO`9~~-. .`OOOOOO.OOM.OLSONOOOOO@@OOOOOO\ /OOOO@@@OO@@@OO@@@OOO@@@@@@@@OOOO`. |OO@@@WWWW@@@@OOWWW@WWWW@@@@@@@OOOO). .-'OO@@@@WW@@@W@WWWWWWWWOOWW@@@@@OOOOOO} /OOO@@O@@@@W@@@@@OOWWWWWOOWOO@@@OOO@@@OO| lOOO@@@OO@@@WWWWWWW\OWWWO\WWWOOOOOO@@@O.' \OOO@@@OOO@@@@@@OOW\ \WWWW@@@@@@@O'. `,OO@@@OOOOOOOOOOWW\ \WWWW@@@@@@OOO) \,O@@@@@OOOOOOWWWWW\ \WW@@@@@OOOO.' `~c~8~@@@@WWW@@W\ \WOO|\UO-~' (OWWWWWW@/\W\ ___\WO) `~-~'' \ \WW=*' __\ \ \ \ \ __\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \\ \\ \ \ Lightning is more likely than not to strike twice in the same place because, all electric currents or discharges, lightning follows the path of least resistance. -- If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side. -- The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night. -- In early colonial times, pumpkins were used as an ingredient for the crust of pies, not the filling. Colonists sliced off pumpkin tips; removed seeds and filled the insides with milk, spices and honey. This was baked in hot ashes and is the origin of pumpkin pie. -- Pumpkins are 90 percent water and are a fruit. -- The generic name of the drug methadone is dolophine. It was named in honor of Adolph Hitler. -- The word SILENT contains exactly the same letters as the word LISTEN. -- The words CHOICE COD read the same when held in front of a mirror upside-down. This also applies to the word DIOXIDE. -- The letter "W" is the only letter in the English alphabet that doesn't have just one syllable – it has three. -- .,,,,,,,,,,. ,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;, ,;;;;;;;;;;;)));;(((,,;;;,,_ ,;;;;;;;;;;' |)))))))))))\\ ;;;;;;/ )'' - /,)))((((((((((\ ;;;;' \ ~|\ )))))))))))))) / / | (((((((((((((( /' \ _/~ ')|())))))))) /' `\ /> o_/)))(((((((( / /' `~~(____ / ())))))))))) | ---, \ \ ((((((((((( | `\ \~-_____| ))))))))) Art by | `\ | |_.---.(((((((( -Tua Xiong \ | | ))))))))) (((((((( ))))))) (((((( What is called a "French kiss" in England and America is known as an "English kiss" in France. -- Corn means wheat in England. In the Bible, corn means grain. -- Simply put, cold-blooded means that an animal doesn’t have the ability to maintain an internal body temperature all the time. They must rely on the sun to warm them up. -- Mice can't stand the smell of fresh peppermint. -- In the cold, butterflies shiver, too. -- Kansas has enough salt to supply the whole nation for 100,000 years. -- Percentage of all paper money in the United States that contains traces of cocaine : 97 -- Virginia goes farther west than West Virginia. -- American colonists ate popcorn with cream and honey for breakfast. -- Pepper is a vine. -- Rhubarb leaves are poisonous. -- Moisture, not air, causes superglue to dry. -- _______\\__ (_. _ ._ _/ '-' \__. / / / / / .--. .--. ( ( / '' \/ '' \ " \ \_.' \ ) || _ './ |\ \ ___.'\ / '-./ .' \ |/ \| / )|\ |/ // \\ |\ __// \\__ //\\ /__/ mrf\__| .--_/ \_--. /__/ \__\ The male camel doesn't spit randomly at the object of his anger. He aims for their eyes. -- John Wayne turned down the lead in "Gunsmoke" for fear he would be stereotyped as a cowboy. -- Bubbles are round because the air in them presses outward equally in all directions. -- Rodeo cowboys never wear yellow shirts in competition. -- The milk production of dairy cows falls off sharply just before an earthquake. -- Broccoli and cauliflower were derived from cabbage. Kale, collard greens, cabbage, brussel sprouts, kohlrabi, broccoli, and cauliflower are all different varieties of the same plant species. -- ____.... a#####~:::::::, | a######P";:::::::::::, . --*-- a########:::::::::::::::::, | . ########P::::::::::::*::::::: . . ########P::::::::::::::::::.:::. ##### ##P:::::::::::::::::::::::;. * .#### O ##:::::*:::::::::::::::.::;. ###### #### ::::::::::::::::::.::::: ########@###,::::::::::::::::::::::; #########~~~:::::::::::::::*:::.:::; \ / . . ##### ##:::::::::::::::::::::::::; / \ . ####a__ay::::::::::::::::::::::; ########;::::::::::::::::::::; . . ########a::::::::::::::::::' . . * . ########.:::::::::*;:::' . . . `d######a.::::::::::' . . `~9#####.::::'' . . . unknown A full moon always rises at sunset. -- The state of Tennessee was known as Franklin before 1796. -- Moisture, not air, causes super glue to dry. -- Urea is found in human urine and dalmatian dogs (and nowhere else). -- Vietnamese currency consists only of paper money; no coins. -- Lobsters are scared of octopuses. The sight of one makes a lobster freeze. -- Male monkeys lose the hair on their heads in the same way men do. -- Small cockroaches are more likely to die on their backs than large cockroaches. -- Fast food restaurants use yellow, red, and orange because those are the colors that stimulate hunger. -- Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream. The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds. -- The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man. -- Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair. -- Your thumb is the same length as your nose. -- _ ,' '. / \ ^ | _ | ^ | || / \ || | | |||.-.||| | | ||| ||| | | ||| ||| | | ||| ||| | | ||| ||| | | ,' '. | ,'__ __`. /____ | ____\ /_\ |_|_| /_\ .: : : :. : . : . : : :: :: :: : : .: :. : : .: :.: : :. : . : : .: : :: : jrei .: . : : .. The aerospace industry needed a product to eliminate moisture from electrical circuitry and to prevent corrosion on airplanes and Atlas Missile nose-cones. The newly developed WD-40 worked so well, engineers working at the Rocket Chemical Company began sneaking it out of the plant for home use on squeaky doors and stuck locks. WD-40 became available to the public in 1958, and in 1961, a sweet fragrance was added to overcome the smell of the petroleum distillates. In 1969, the Rocket Chemical Company was renamed the WD-40 Company, after its only product. The WD-40 Company makes the "secret sauce," then sends it to packagers who add the solvent and propellant. -- Any animal that has skin hair or fur can get dandruff, but in animals it is called "dander." -- . . ) ( _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _(.--.) {{ { { { { { { { { { { ( '_') jgs >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>`--'> Centipedes always have an uneven pairs of walking legs. -- The biggest seed on the planet is the coconut. -- The U.S. state farthest north, east, and west is Alaska. -- The raised reflective dots in the middle of highways have a kind of neat sound to it’s name, they are called Botts dots. -- A banana tree is not a tree; it is an herb. -- M & M's were developed so that soldiers could eat candy without getting their fingers sticky. -- Rabbits love licorice. -- El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas! -- Raw cashews are poisonous and must be roasted before they can be eaten (this is probably one reason that you can't buy cashews in the shell) -- A peanut is a legume and not a nut. -- The statue of Christ in Rio de Janeiro is exactly facing the statue of Christ in Lisbon, Portugal. -- _ ___ (_) _/XXX\ _ /XXXXXX\_ __ X\__ __ /X XXXX XX\ _ /XX\__ ___ \__/ \_/__ \ \ _/X\__ /XX XXX\____/XXX\ \ ___ \/ \_ \ \ __ _/ \_/ _/ - __ - \ ___/ \__/ \ \__ \\__ / \_// _ _ \ \ __ / \____/ / __ \ / \ \_ _//_\___ __/ // \___/ \/ __/ __/_______\________\__\_/________\__/_/____/_____________/_______\____/____ ___ /L|0\ / | \ / \ / | \ / \ / __ | __ \ / __/ \__ \ / /__ | __\ \ /___________________\ / | \ / _|_ \ / ____/___\____ \ ___________[o0o]___________ O O O Paul Tomblin Airports that are at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density. -- There is no such thing as naturally blue food, even blueberries are purple. -- The "huddle" in football was formed due a deaf football player who used sign language to communicate and his team didn't want the opposition to see the signals he used and in turn huddled around him. -- A crocodile really does produce tears, but they're not due to sadness. The tears are glandular secretions that work to expel excess salt from the eyes. Hence, "crocodile tears" are false tears. -- A skunk will not bite and throw its scent at the same time. -- All shrimp are born male, but slowly grow into females as they mature. -- Deer can't eat hay. -- ."`". .-./ _=_ \.-. { (,(oYo),) }} {{ | " |} } { { \(---)/ }} {{ }'-=-'{ } } { { }._:_.{ }} {{ } -:- { } } jgs {_{ }`===`{ _} ((((\) (/)))) Gorillas do not know how to swim. -- --- ...Wowsers! Y'll have to take your word for it DonnaL! Thanks! =============================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: She had been thinking about coloring her hair. One day while going through a magazine, she came across an ad for a hair coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that she liked. Wanting a second opinion, she asked her husband, "How do you think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles?" He looked at the picture, crumbled it up, straightened it out and studied it again. "Just great, hon." -<>- After I took a job at a small publishing house, the first books I was assigned to edit were all on the topic of dieting. "Isn't the market flooded with these types of books?" I asked another editor. "How do we expect to turn a profit?" "Don't worry," he assured me. "These books appeal to a wide audience." -<>- ___ ,--[___]--, / \ |,.--'```'--.,| , |'-.,_____,.-'| || |'-.,_____,.-'| || | | _||_ | P A I N T | ///\\\ | | HHHHHH |'-.,_____,.-'| |||||| jgs `'-.,_____,.-'' |||||| Dad is from the old school, where you keep your money under the mattress—only he kept his in the underwear drawer. One day I bought my dad an unusual personal safe—a can of spray paint with a false bottom—so he could keep his money in the workshop. Later I asked Mom if he was using it. "Oh, yes," she replied, "he put his money in it the same day." "No burglar would think to look on the work shelf!" I gloated. "They won't have to," my mom replied. "He keeps the paint can in his underwear drawer." -<>- Trying to do my share for the environment, I set up a trash basket at my church and posted above it this suggestion: "Empty water bottles here." I should have been a little more specific, because when I went to check it later, I didn't find any bottles in it. But it was full of water. -<>- "What's the first thing a little girl wants when she gets a new bike? A basket--she's prepared to shop. What's the first thing a boy wants on his bike? A bell or horn--he's prepared for traffic. "What's the first toy a little girl wants? A doll--she's prepared to shop with friends. What's the first toy a little boy wants? A gun--he's prepared for traffic." --Jason Chase -<>- When we finished a personality assessment at work, I asked my friend Dan if he would share the results with his wife. "That would require me to go home and say, 'Hi, honey. I just paid someone $400 to tell me what's wrong with me,'" he said. "And based on that, considering we've been married 23 years, she'd hand me a bill for about $798,000." ================================================================== >-->From AndyChaps: "Law of Probable Dispersal" Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. --- ,--------------------------------------------------------------------------. | OV"|OOOOOOOO> U N I T E D S T A T E S OF A M E R I C A O N E D O L L A R Some Rules to live by...... **Don't throw a brick straight up. **Walk around toxic waste dumps, not through them. **Your body has the correct number of holes in it. Don't make any more. **Don't microwave yourself too often. **Don't stick body parts into electrical outlets. **If you're on a ball field and someone shouts "Heads up!" don't actually raise your head up. Cover it with your arms and duck. [_ | / \ / \ / /_| () | () | _|____]\__/ \__/_ _.-"| | | | |"-._ _.-"| | | | | | |"-._ _.-"| | | | | | | | |"-._ _.-"`| | | | | | | | | | |`"-._ _.-" | | | __|.-~|~-.| |_..|.__| | | | | "-._ " | | | |' | ` | \|~"~| | |`-.| | | | | " | | | /| _ | |) |\ | | | |\ | | | | | | | /`| a)| | | | | | | | `\| | | | | | |:` | | /| | | | | | | | | | | | |`-.||` |.-.| ( | |/ |. | | | `;|\ | | | | |`-.|`--|_.'|.;\|__/| | | .| | ||\\ | | | | _ | |:--| | | | | /| |/ | | .'| \\| | | |("\| /|/ | | | | | ' | | | | / | :|; | | |`\'|_/`| | | .\| |/`~|=-.| | |/ | `| | | | `|_.'| | | /`| || | |\ | |( | | | | | | | | |/ |\ || | | `Y| /| \ | | | | | | | | | /| Y || | | || /`| \| | | | | | | | /| | | | || | | || | || | | | | | | | | "-|-" |/__|| | | /_|_| |/__| | | | | | | | | |'""| | | '"|" |"""| | | | __|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|__jgs **No matter how tempting it is to be one with nature, stay on the outside of all fences at the zoo. **When sticking thumb tacks into bulletin boards, press on the flat end. -<>- >Celestial Lifeline The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a huge amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall. The following week the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me. He said, "Gee, thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in years!" -<>- >A Common Problem I've been feeling down for so long that I finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. I went there, laid on the couch, spilled my guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make me feel better. The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Ummmmm, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers." -<>- >The Good Samaritan A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand." "No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it." "Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water." Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!" "Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay." -<>- >something to ponder...... A man and a woman are driving down the highway when another car passes them. The woman notices the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise on down the highway. This causes the woman to think back when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years. Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?" Her question was met with a few moments of silence. Then he quietly replied, "I haven't moved...." -<>- >Iron On Messages My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it. My wife frantically swept through my daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with my daughter. That afternoon, my daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt. On one side it said, "Families are Forever." And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start." -<>- .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-"-. .-. .--. .-. .--. < | < | < | | | | | | | | | | |()| / | | | ) | ) | ) | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | )()| )()| )()| |o| | | | | | | | | | | | |()| )()| )()| )()| |o| | | | | | | | | | | | |()| <___| <___| <___| |\| | | | | | | | | | | | |__| } | || | = | | | | | `-|-' | | | | | | | L } | || | = | | | | | /A\ | | | | | | | J } | || | = | |/ | | |H| | | | | | | | L } | || | = | | | |H| | | _|__|_ | | | J } | || | = | | | |H| | | | | | | | | A L } | || | = | | | \V/ | | | | | \ | | H J } | FF | = | | | " | | | \ | ,Y | H A L } | LL | = | _F J_ _F J_ \ `--| | | H H J } | LL | \| / \ / \ `.___| | | H H A L } | \\ | J L | _ _ | | | H H U J } | \\| J F | | | | | | / | U ".-' } | \| \ / | | | | | | .-.-.-.-/ |_.-' \| `-._.-' | | | | | | ( (-(-(-( ) `-' `-' `-' `-`-`-`-' VK >"Signs Found In Kitchens" 1. Kitchen closed - - this chick has had it! 2. Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! 3. I'm creative; you can't expect me to be neat too! 4. So this isn't Home Sweet Home... Adjust! 5. Ring Bell for Maid Service...If no answer do it yourself! 6. I clean house every other day.... Today is the other day! 7. If you write in the dust, please don't date it! 8. I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener! 9. My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it! 10. A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life. 11. COOK CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! 12. I came, I saw, I decided to order take out. 13. If you don't like my standards of cooking...lower your standards. 14. You may touch the dust in this house...but please don't write in it! 15. Apology...Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse. 16. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious. 17. If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap. 18. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 19. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 20. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. 21. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life. 22. Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out. 23. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives. 24. My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines. 25. Gardening forever . . . Housework, never! 26. Dull women have immaculate houses. --- ...My Favorite around our house... See A Mess? Clean It Up!! -<>- >Me Too!!! Our old friend Gladys attended church services one particular Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep. After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman, in an attempt to revive him from his stupor, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn." To which the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one!" ============================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Sweet Little Pad http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/homepad.html Whale Rescue http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whalerescue.html Leaf Art Paintings http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/art.html Ten Life Tips http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifetips.html Wall Mural Art 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wallart2.html Northern Lights Over Teepees http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/teepees.html Orang-Utan Hospital http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/orang.html Woman's Dream http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woman.html -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) STALACPIPE ORGAN http://xrl.in/2qq7 Shave Like your Grandpa Did http://xrl.in/2qqa NYC Restaurants Map http://xrl.in/2qqf Online Personal Organizer http://xrl.in/2qqc Create Photo Postcards in Minutes http://xrl.in/2qpz --- ...Wonderful Links! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: The Red Hat http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/redhat.html My Catty Life http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/catlife.html Good Job http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjuik.htm Go White Guy http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjuik.htm Great Escapes http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjuio.htm Greatest Movie Line Ever http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghjuiop.htm Guide Dog http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjkssik.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "President Obama has cut the space program and we will no longer be sending men to the moon. There has been one big achievement during his time in office. We did put an astro- naut on 'Dancing With the Stars.'" -Jay Leno "A volcano in Iceland has shut down air travel all across Europe. Apparently they dumped too much baking soda and vinegar into the thing and it just won't stop erupting." -Jimmy Kimmel "I just went shark-diving in the Bahamas. If you've never been to the Bahamas, imagine Fantasy Island but without the midget." -Craig Ferguson "Exciting news from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology. The Norwegians released a study today that says having a sense of humor can help people live longer. In other words, if you don't laugh at this monologue tonight, you're going to die." -Jimmy Kimmel "Here's some good news – a woman in Milwaukee gave birth to a 13 pound 12 ounce baby girl last week. Thirteen pound 12 ounces. Doctors say the baby will be walking before the mother." --Jay Leno "Well, a new study has found that having a cat makes you 40 percent less likely to die of a heart attack. Not that the cat could care less either way, really." --Jay Leno "A company is now making a cell phone that allows you to talk to your dog. It enables you to talk to your dog. The way it works is that first you have to be insane." --Dave Letterman "In Virginia lawmakers are considering a law banning people from wearing pants that reveal their underwear in a lewd way. Of course you could get by this law by just not wearing any underwear." --Craig Ferguson >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************