World's Easiest Quiz And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This first hot tottie is from our friend KarenF! This artist reclaims driftwood and makes wonderful sculptures with it! Give this one time to load and chick it out here: ` {_ \. - - . _____..' ' _ , -`. _ .-' ' _,' _,' ,-' ' ,-' _/ `-, ' ,-' \ _/ ,-' ' ,' \ _' _ `-, ' ' _\' ___/_\___ ` , ' , _,-' \ ,^^##--- ' , \,_,--' \ _/<\_ \ it's even harder ,` \ < to swim with the { ejm \^^- *~* We Had A Astounding Hot Month Of Sharing And Caring Last Month! ) ( ( ( ) ) " ( ) " | | | (( )) | )) )) ) // )) ( ) / / ( ( ( | .( \ \ ( ( ( ) ) ) )) ( ( ) '.' '. " .' / ( \ ) \ .' '._.' '._ ) ) : '' _.oooooo._ _.oooooo._ '' / ) .odOOOOOOOObo.odOOOOOOOObo. | / dOOOY dOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOb ( OOOY dOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO \ dOOY dOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOb OOO dOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOOb OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY YOObdOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOxXY "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOxXY" "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAoS" YOOOOOOOOOOOOOxXXXY "YOOOOOOOOOxXXXY" AoS "YOOOXXXXY" ""Y"" * Please Visit and Be Sure To Share All Of These With Your Friends: That's God! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thatsgod.html Chalk Art 7! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart7.html Bob Hope's Home! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bobhopehome.html Dogs And Cats Together! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsandcats.html Leno's Garage! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jaylenogarage.html Leno's Garage 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jaylenogarage2.html Political Humor 10! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics10.html Bulldog Life! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mydoglife.html Look Who's Talking 7! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking7.html ...:::::::... ...:::::::... .:::::::::::::::::. .::::::::::::::::::. .::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::. .:::::::::::::::::::'.-=.-~, ':::::::::::::::::::. .:::::::::::::::::::' /{,_;--'},'::::::::::::::::::::. .:::::::::::::::::::: | .=~`|//| :::::::::::::::::::::. .::::::::::::::::::::: | / ; \ | :::' __, '::::::::::::. .:::::::::::::::::::::' || | | | :' .' \/\ ::::::::::::. .:::::::::::::::::::::: |\| | | |\ / \ /_| :::::::::::::. ::::::::::::::::::::::. \ | | /|'/ / | \ /_ | :::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::' ,_ '::: `\ \/|/ / /`.: \ /__/ ::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::: /\/`'. ':. `\ `./.'/\ : /.--' .:::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::: |_\ / \ ::. '. ,/|\/| // '''''::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::: | _\ / | .:: | | \ \/// .""'-. ::::::::::::: :::::::::::::: \__\ / .: .'/| | `)`/__//_/_/_\ :::::::::::: ':::::::::::::: '--.\ : /\/_| |} /.---. \ \ \ / :::::::::::' '::::::::::::'' \\ |\/_/| | //` . `'...-' :::::::::::' :::::::::: .-""'. \\\/ /{| |// .:::::....:::::::::::::: '::::::: /_\_\_\\__\`(` | '/ :::::::::::::::::::::::' ':::::: \ / / / .---.\ | | :::::::::::::::::::::::' '::::::. '-..,'` .:.`\\ | |} ::::::::::::::::::::::' '::::::......:jgs:: \\| | ::::::::::::::::::::' ':::::::::::::::::: \` | ::::::::::::::::::' ':::::::::::::::: | | ::::::::::::::::' ':::::::::::::: {| | ::::::::::::::' ':::::::::::: | | ::::::::::::' ':::::::::: | | ::::::::::' ':::::::: | |} ::::::::' ':::::: | | ::::::' ':::::. |/ ::::::' ':::.....:::::' ':::::::::' ':::::' ':' * SPECIAL HUGS AND GOD'S BLESSINGS TO ALL OUR SWEET CONTRIBUTORS! :) ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: My Doctor's Advice ,&::(@):, Pauly was having some marital difficulties &:(@:(@)*(@) and decided to talk about it with his shrink. (@)&:(@)*(@)@) The shrink advised him to buy flowers and candy, (@):*(@):&:(@) rush home to his wife, take her in his arms, *(@)::(@):* remove her clothes, remove his clothes, '.\';.' and make mad passionate love to her. _\|/_ '.`"`.' The next week, Pauly returned to the shrink's ) ( office and the shrink asked him how his idea worked. / \ "Well, my wife didn't say anything, _______________/_ \ but her hand-painted china art /.-()()()()()()-,/| | group really got a big kick // ()()()()()() // / / out of it." //_()()()()()()_// / ( jgs |""""""""""""""""|/.___.' '----------------' ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ July 1 is Creative Ice Cream Flavor Day and Build A Scarecrow Day July 2 is Visitation Of The Virgin Mary Day July 3 is Stay Out Of The Sun Day and Compliment Your Mirror Day July 4 is National Country Music Day and Tom Sawyer Fence-Painting Day July 5 is Workaholics Day July 6 is National Fried Chicken Day July 7 is National Strawberry Sundae Day ======================================================= ,. ,. {^ \-"-/ ^} " """ " { _ } ==_ .:Y:. _== ."" `--^--' "". (,~-~."" "" ,~-~.) ------( )----( )----- ^-'-'-^ ^-'-'-^ _____________________________ |"""" /~.^.~\ """"| hjw ,i-i-i(""( i-i-i. `97 (o o o ))"")( o o o) \(_) /(""( \ (_)/ `--' \""\ `--' )"") (""/ `" >-->From GoodCleanFun: >Employment Form My sense of humor always gets me into trouble, but I just can't help it. Applying for a job one time, the employment form clearly said: "Age of Father, if living" and the same query for my Mother. I put down the figures 119 and 117 in the spaces provided, and the interviewer asked if my parents were truly that old. I replied, "No, but they would be if they were still living." -<>- >Legal Description I am a prosecuting attorney in a small Mississippi town and will admit to having a few extra pounds on me. Not long ago, I was questioning a witness in an armed robbery case. I asked, "Would you describe the person you saw?" The witness replied, "He was kind of short and stout." "You mean short and stout like me?" I asked. "Oh, no," the witness said. "He wasn't that fat." -<>- >Setting Goals During the last session of our teaching workshop, participants were asked to state their personal goals for the immediate future. One teacher vowed to update photo albums, another to lose weight. The goal that got the most response, however, was given by a slightly out-of-shape kindergarten teacher. "I resolve to exercise until I can complete a 20-minute workout in less than an hour," she said. -<>- >Spelling Words My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won't understand what we're saying. I didn't realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle. An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup. Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, "Boy, is she r-u-d-e!" "Yeah," he replied, "and I'll bet she can s-p-e-l-l." -<>- >Work Injury One of our regular patrons, a truck driver, entered the cafe where I worked and hobbled painfully over to a table. "What happened?" I asked. "I hurt my back at work," he explained with a grimace. "Gee, I thought those rigs were equipped with cushioned seats, air springs and swivel controls," I said. "The seats are great," he confirmed. "It's the ground that hurts ... I fell out of my truck." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend louiseA :) . . :"-. .-"; |:`.`.__..__.'.';| || :-" "-; || :; :; / .==. .==. \ : _.--._ ; ; .--.' `--' `.--. : : __;` ':__ ; ; ' '-._:;_.-' ' : '. `--' .' ."-._ _.-". .' ""------"" `. /`- -'\ /`- -'\ :`- .' `. -'; ; / \ : : : ; ; ; ; : : ':_:.' '.;_;' :_ _; ; "-._ -" :`-. _.._ :_ () _; "--::__. `. \"- -"/`._ : .-"-. -"-. ""--..____.' / .__ __. \ : / , / "" \ . \ ; bug "-:___..--" "--..___;-" >Smiles When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local Motor Vehicle Bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." The clerk looked at his picture closely, and reassured him, "It's okay. That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway." ------------ A couple of dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter. “My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around. He tips the kid and then brings the newspaper to me, along with my morning coffee.” “I know,” says the second owner. “How do you know?” “My dog told me.” ------------ Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead. The general practitioner looks at it and says, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck... it's probably a duck," shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away. The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, "Hmmmm...green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound...might be a duck." He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone. A third bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, brings the bird down, and turns to the pathologist and says, "Go see if that was a duck." ------- A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields were grown over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the fences were broken down. During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!" A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it's a completely different place. The farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows. "Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!" "Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!" ------------ A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?" "Neither, He's bald." ------------ On the way to preschool, a doctor mom had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought Mom, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps and be a doctor! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" ------------ A couple was in bed one night and the woman woke up from a bad dream. She was scared and panicking. Her husband awoke and turned the light on to calm her. He asked what was wrong. She said "I had a dream that I died and you got remarried. If I died tomorrow would you get remarried?" He said, "Sure, I don't want to spend the rest of my life lonely." She asked, "Well would you two live in this house?" He replied "Sure, we just got finished paying off our mortgage. "Well, would she sleep in this bed?" He thought a while and said "Yes, of course, this bed is brand new and expensive, there's no reason to rid of it." She asked irately, "Well, would she use my golf clubs?" He replied with a straight, serious face "No. She's left handed." ------------ I began thinking about my own mortality after I became a widower. One day my daughter called home from college, and I announced to her, "I think it's time for us to talk about where I would like to be buried." "It's way too soon to even think of anything like that," she snapped indignantly. Then there was a brief silence. "Wait a minute, did you say married or buried?" When I repeated buried, she said, "Oh, okay, sure." ------------ When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning." "Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..." ------------ Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to, just died walking out of the office. Doctor: Well, turn him around and make it look like he was on his way in. --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ==================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From American Family Association: Let's Pray! Never before in the history of our country has America faced a moral crisis like the one before us today. The foundations of our government are crumbling right before our eyes. Our churches are abandoning God, our families are in shambles. There is only one hope for restoration – the Lord Jesus Christ. If we are to see restoration, it will come only by the grace of God’s mercy. During the month of July, will you join me in praying for God’s help? To help you, we have prepared a daily prayer calendar that you can use to pray for specific areas – Country, Church, Family and your AFA. Please use this calendar as a simple guide to help you start your prayer each day. http://www.afa.net/pray/ -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) US Flag as doormat? Lowe's is now selling American Flag doormats. As the 4th of July is approaching, many stores are trying to increase their profits. Needless to say, the selling of American Flag doormats has many Veterans upset. Veterans feel that they fought for the American Flag, many losing their lives, and many permanently injured for the freedoms that the American Flag represents, yet Lowe's is now selling the American Flag as a doormat, "something to be walked on, and something to wipe your feet on", as one veteran put it. "Are they slapping our faces or what", asked another veteran. The V.F.W, the American Legion, and several other organizations was immediately contacted. A veteran with 33 years in the U.S. Navy, had gone to Lowe's to buy $300.00 worth of lumber to build a fence, but when he saw the American Flag doormat, he flipped out, made Lowe's take back the lumber and refund his money. Several others walked out of the store. At the Lowe's in N. Charleston, SC, the manager took all the doormats off of display because of complaints and called Lowe's headquarters to report the consumer's and veterans complaints. Those who grew up respecting the American Flag, and those who fought to defend it, would never let the American Flag touch the ground, much less use it as a doormat, to walk on or wipe your feet on it! Most likely these doormats are made in China, but they are distributed by: Mohawk Home, 3032 Sugar Valley Rd., NW Sugar Valley, Georgia 30746 Please pass this on to as many people you can. Some of us still respect and love America and our Flag, and want it respected! --- ...Irritating. Thanks Geniann! Snopes.com take on this here: http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/doormat.asp -<>- [Politics] >From Our Friend JoeL :) Glenn Beck: Shocking Video- THIS Is Who We Are Helping In Syria?! SHARE WITH EVERYONE!" http://tinyurl.com/l556jf9 --- ...True. We shouldn't be involved! Thanks JoeL! -<>- >From BizarreNews: *-- Swarming ants wrecking air conditioners along U.S. Gulf Coast --* AUSTIN, Texas - An invasion of "crazy" ants in areas of the U.S. Gulf Coast has wreaked havoc on electronic devices, especially air conditioning units, experts say. Tawny crazy ants, named for their color and their "herky- jerky" pattern of foraging, first showed up near Houston in 2002. Hailing from northern Argentina and southern Brazil, they seek out cavities to nest in, like walls, basements -- or air conditioning units. Less than 1/8 inch long, their small size allows them to crawl inside cellphones, computers and appliances, where protected cavities are "just great" for them, Edward LeBrun, a researcher at the University of Texas, told LiveScience. Reproducing in large numbers, sometimes outnumbering local species of ants 100-to-1, they've developed a preference for swarming into electronics devices like air conditioners and farm equipment like pumps, experts said. In one case, the ants quickly spread to 90 out of 150 air-conditioning units in an apartment building in Waco, Texas, said Mike Matthews, who works for Austin- area pest control business The Bug Master. "When you open these things up, you see thousands of the ants, just completely filling them up," he said. That infestation took about two months to control, he said. *-- Fla. police looking for women who drugged men, stole their valuables --* FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - Police in Florida say they are looking for four women accused of drugging men they meet at bars, going to their homes, and robbing them. The suspects -- identified as Subhanna Beyah, 25; Johnnina Miller, 25; Keshia Clark, 27; and Ryan Elkins, 23 -- have allegedly drugged and stolen items from at least four men, CNN reported Friday. Broward County Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Dani Moschella said it's possible other victims "haven't come forward because they're embarrassed." "We anticipate identifying other suspects and other victims," she said. Scott Rosen, 54, told CNN he met two of the suspects at a Fort Lauderdale bar and invited them to his home, where one of them distracted him while the other made him a drink that knocked him out. "I got drugged," Rosen said. Rosen said he woke up to find the women gone and more than $250,000 worth of his personal items had been stolen, including his handguns, diamonds and the Rolex watch he was wearing when he brought the women to his home. "It could have been worse," he noted. "They could have shot me with my own handgun." The sheriff's department has issued arrest warrants for the women on charges of one count of grand theft each. "We really want to get these women off the street ... because they're drugging their victims, presumably," Moschella said. "We don't know how long it will be before they end up killing somebody accidentally." *-- Police officer surprised by monkey at traffic stop --* ARANSAS PASS, Texas - A Texas police officer said a traffic stop took a turn for the bizarre when he was attacked by the motorist's monkey. Aransas Pass Police Officer Keith Moore, 21, who joined the police department three months ago, said he pulled over a truck for speeding Wednesday and when he reached into the vehicle to hand the citation to the driver, a monkey jumped up from the back seat and attacked his hand, KRIS-TV, Corpus Christi, Texas, reported Monday. Moore said it was difficult to explain the situation to his supervisor. "My sergeant thought I had initially got stung with a bee but it wasn't," Moore said. "I ended up telling him when I was walking back that it was a monkey that came out of nowhere." The incident was caught on Moore's police-issue video camera. "He's got a monkey and it attacked my hand. I'm not even kidding," Moore can be heard telling the sergeant on the recording. Police said they determined the monkey was a professional primate trained for appearances at carnivals and festivals. The driver was not penalized for the attack on the officer's hand. *-- Ontario-owned liquor store criticized for teacher gift card ad --* TORONTO - Ontario's state-run liquor store chain has drawn criticism for an ad appearing to tell kids to give gift cards for liquor to their teachers. Some parents said they were shocked to see the advertisement on the website for the Liquor Control Board of Ontario, which said to "thank your teacher for a great year with an LCBO gift card" and featured an image of a chalkboard marked with the letters "ABC," The Toronto Star reported Tuesday. "Why target children?" asked mother Jackie Allen, whose son, Jaden, 7, is finishing the first grade. "Since when is it OK for kids to give liquor to their teachers?" LCBO spokeswoman Heather MacGregor said the advertisement is meant to appeal to parents seeking to get year-end gifts for their children's teachers. "What we're doing with the ad is encouraging parents who have already made the decision to buy a gift for their son or daughter's teacher, to consider looking at an LCBO gift card," she said. MacGregor said minors can legally buy gift cards at the store, but the ad is not meant to encourage the practice. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: , __ _.-"` `'-. /||\'._ __{}_( |||| |'--.__\ | L.( ^_\^ \ .-' | _ | | | )\___/ | \-'`:._] jgs \__/; '-. It was just another day at the DMV. I had taken a woman out on her driving test when a police cruiser came up behind us--sirens wailing, lights flashing. "Was I speeding?" she asked the officer, after both cars pulled over. "No," said the officer. "But you are driving a stolen vehicle." Smiling awkwardly, the woman turned to me. "Does this mean I failed my test?" -<>- While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers." "It's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained." -<>- A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?" Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!" -<>- Noah was told that of all the animals on the ark, only the adders refused to obey God's command and go forth and multiply. "Well," said Noah. "I'll have to ask the Lord what to do about that." And so he prayed to God and said, "These snakes won't go forth and multiply" And God said, "Don't worry. Find some the trees and saw them into logs and create a platform sitting upon four legs. Then put the snakes on the platform." "But how will that help the snakes?" asked Noah. "Easy," replied God, "Everyone knows even adders can multiply using a log table!" -<>- : ;; / | / | .' : .-' ' _.-' / .-*" / _ .-' .' _.-*?' .' .' .-" .' __ .' , .-' .-+. .' _.-*".' / \ .-' _.--**""**-. .-' _.y-:-" .' : `+. .*""*. `. :-. -. \ .' ; .--*""*--. / __ ` _.--. \ |$| -.` -.;/ _.-+. : .' :*" "*..*" y`-' $| ;*" _( \ / +----/ / .'.-'---+ .-._.+' `. -'_.--. :- "_( `*-: | \/\/\/ | /) ` .'___ ' "_( ; `._| | \ )` .'.' `./_" ( : \| NO MONSTERS | (`._..--**" : .- ; `"' \ | | `----**"T"" " `+. | `. | PAST THIS | ' .' : _.-*"*- | | / / ' .-*" _ | POINT! | __..-'\ / bug "+,'___..--| |--**"" `-.__.' "" +----------------+ As scientists and concerned citizens, we applaud the recent trend towards legislation which requires the prominent placing of warnings on products that present hazards to the general public. Yet we must also offer the cautionary thought that such warnings, however well-intentioned, merely scratch the surface of what is really necessary in this important area. This is especially true in light of the findings of 20th century quantum physics. We therefore propose that the following list of warnings appears on every product offered for sale in the United States. WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity. CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight. HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour. CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving. (Note: This one is optional on the grounds that Heisenburg was never quite sure that his principle was correct) ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Damages or Inconvenience That May Result. ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.999999999% Empty Space. PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State. HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User. -<>- When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. "Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find," he told me. At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying a liter of cheap booze at ten o'clock in the morning, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. "Believe it or not," I said, "this is for a sick dog." As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of muscatel and announced, "These are for my cats." ========================================================= >-->From The Mouth: _ ' ` ,`-' __ ( ,-" "---, _ ,' `--"| ,' ,-" ' )--' / | / //",-",-._,'."-- . _ `/ .--="_.' / `. ; /`""" `-' ` \( , ` ``-\ ' ," ( ,' ,' `.._ __,-"\-, ' `-.-._,._,'__... `,-. ,' . __ \ ,-. \-: \ , __ _/-" \,--""\ \_\ \_\_/ , ,-" / ' _.--\_..." \ , { _,-" -" | ` ` `-" __..`-. \ \ ,-" __..-"" . `-._ "" __,--" __...' \ _,--" __..--"" / : _..-"" __.,-'" _.-' ,-"" _.,-"" ,' ; _.-"" ,' | _.-" ," `'..._ / ` _ / `.___...-; `"-./ | ' | ' | ' | I__ ,= .-._| |_|`.__.' KaK `--" >Why Women Would Love Being Santa Claus 1. You'd never be expected to make the coffee. 2. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office. 3. You could grow a gut the size of Fat Albert's and consider it a job requirement. 4. One big black belt - accessorized for life! 5. There'd be no reason to have your colors done. 6. Everyone would be extremely nice to you, even if you weren't. 7. Should people suggest your belly jiggled... that is when you giggled...like a bowlful of jelly, you could hit them with your purse. 8. You'd always work in sensible footwear. 9. There'd be no need to play office politics; a hearty 'Ho! Ho! Ho!', would remind everyone who's boss. 10. You wouldn't need an expensive briefcase. 11. No one would dare ask for a ride to work. 12. Never again have to wear pantyhose or worry about your slip showing. 13. No more trips to the vending machine... you'd just snack on milk and cookies all day. 14. You'd never be asked to take an early retirement package. 15. Juggling work and family would be a breeze because your children would adore you; even your teen-agers would want to sit in your lap. 16. You'd be guaranteed the best chair in the office. 17. Age discrimination wouldn't be an issue. 18. You'd never grab the wrong coat on your way out the door. 19. No one would ask to see your job description. 20. Your co-workers would be on notice that they'd better not pout. -<>- _|_ | .-'''''-. .-' '-. .-' :::::_::::: '-. ___/ ==:...:::-:::...:== \___ /_____________________________\ ':'-._________________________.-'_ ':::\ @-,`-[-][-^-][-]-`,-@ / _| |_ '::| .-------------------. ||_ @ _| ::|=|* ___ _ ___ *|=|'.| | ':| |' ))_) )) ))_) '| |::.^| _:|=|' ((`\ (( (( '|=|::::::. _| || |' _ '| |:::::::. |_ |=|'1634 _( )_ 1789'|=|':::::. | || |' ( (_ ~ _) ) '| | ':::' |^||=|* ) (_) ( *|=| '::' | '-------------------' .::::' |_____________________.::::::' .'___________________.::::::'' |_______________.::::'':::''' .'_____________.::::::''::::'' .:::'''' LGB .'::::' .:::::''':. .:::::' >Interesting True Tombstones! * Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942. Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. * In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist - All dressed up And no place to go. * On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. The Good Die Young. * In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767. * In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace: The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. * In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast.. Pardon me For not rising. * In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake. * In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw. * A lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange. * John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art In want of any, Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny. * In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune. * Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: Here lies the body of our Anna - Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go. * On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God. * To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent Until I know which way you went. -<>- _________ __ / ______ _____ / / / / __ __/ __ / / ---- /__ / / / ---- ______ / / / :F_P: >World's Easiest Quiz (Passing requires 4 correct answers!) 1. How long did the Hundred Years War last? 2. Which country makes Panama hats? 3. From which animal do we get catgut? 4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 5. What is a camel's hair brush made of? 6. The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? 7. What was King George VI's first name? 8. What color is a purple finch? 9. Where are Chinese gooseberries from? Scroll down for the answers... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Answers: 1. 116 years 2. Ecuador 3. Sheep and Horses 4. November 5. Squirrel fur 6. Dogs (Canines) 7. Albert 8. Crimson 9. New Zealand ............. .... .... .. .. .. .. . ___ ___ . . / , \ / , \ . . \___/ \___/ . .. . .. . .. O . . | | . . \ / . . \ / . .. \______________/ .. .. \_____\ \ \/ .. .... | \ |.... ...... | | | Derek S. Tan \___/ Maybe it wasn't so easy after all! ======================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Shangy's Dance Page http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sdp.html Word/Phrase Origins http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origins.html Want-A-Be http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/want.html Attitude Is Everything http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/attitude.html Graffiti Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/graffiti.html Sandy's Can Cars http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cancars.html It's A Dog's World http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsworld.html Pets Being Pets http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petsbeingpets.html -<>- >From Our Friend Jo Ann :) 7 Ways Telemarketers Get Your Cell Phone Number http://tinyurl.com/madruph Nationlal Do Not Call Registry https://www.donotcall.gov/ --- ...Good Info! Thanks Jo Ann! -<>- >From Our Friend GloriaB :) The Only Flag That Doesn't Fly! http://www.lompocmurals.com/great_floral_flag.html --- ...Most Beautiful! Thanks GloriaB! -<>- >From our Friend LouiseA :) Eye of the Leopard http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6xBz1EnNMs&feature=player_detailpage One problem with this - I almost forgot to breathe while watching it! WOW! I don't think you will ever see anything like this again! This is amazing. Watch to the very end. It isn't over when the people are clapping. The amazing part comes after that. Click the link- - - - -sound on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnDeo0yhIws&feature=player_embedded http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnDeo0yhIws&feature=player_detailpage Speakers on..................... It appears this was one of the first times the baby elephant was allowed out into the “play” area. In any event it is clear that the baby elephant is having a ton of fun. Please enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/embed/bu_E2f0mQmI?rel=0 Zorba! Flash Mob Dance from Ottawa! It is nice to see these instant mob scenes from around the world. This one is from Ottawa Canada. I hope it makes you smile too. http://www.youtube.com/embed/UhDgpXWkFHE --- ...Love These! Fun! Thanks LousieA! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Time Zones http://www.timeanddate.com/ RecipeSource: Your Source for Recipes on the Internet http://www.recipesource.com/ Elephant Jokes http://homepage.eircom.net/~cronews/elep/elep.html SharkBreak™ Relax. Take a Shark Break!™ Online Aquarium http://www.sharkbreak.com/ --- ...HaHa! These are fun! Thanks Melody! Here's our Elephant Jokes page http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eleph.html And Our Recipes Page http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easy.html ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, 'Oh, he's good. I like his work.'" --David Spade "Correspondence schools are full of it. I saw an ad where they claimed they could teach you veterinarian medicine thought the mail. Hate to be a dog in that house. "Mail's here!" "Yip, yip, yip!" Talk about being a regular in the pet store, "Hey, didn't I already sell you a puppy?" --Drew Carey "I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid." --P. J. O'Rourke "I hate driving, and I hate when people honk at me. Unless I'm making a left turn. Then I like it because that's how I know it's time to turn." --Rita Rudner "I had surgery this year. Nothing serious, thank God. But just before I went under I heard the one thing you don't want to hear, 'Where's my lucky scalpel?'" --Jonathan Katz "Some things just aren't funny. Beatings aren't funny. Mimes aren't funny. But beating a mime - why is that so hilarious?" --Dave Attell "For the first time ever, more than half of all senior citizens in the U.S. are using the Internet. Yeah, I read that when my grandma sent the entire story to me in the subject line of an email." -Jimmy Fallon "The World Economic Forum, which ranks economies, moved the United States down to 5th place. Switzerland came in 1st place. I guess those little army knives are selling like crazy." -Jimmy Kimmel "I tried to make money as a kid. I had a lemonade stand for about six weeks. I made no money. I had to burn it down and collect insurance." --Brian Kiley "A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy." -- Jerry Seinfield "They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer." -- Milton Berle >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************