You Can Call Me Al... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! ,-`"-=') =/////// ,== _,_(((((-`6\ ==.| /,,...\\\C _| .--. ((((\\\\\` _, /;_| )9 )))))./ `. / } _\,_ ,-'))) \ / /=-. ,-./ \/ '))) . /\_/ / \ (,-.%\ / /-' ') \/\ / ( \ (/ \ ' /( ' `-/ \( \ ,- / ( `-' \ . / / \ \ &_) /\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% | _/ _); `. ` `-. .`\ ) +++/ \ ,," %&-. ; \\| `-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._) gpyy "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) ___ .'``.``. ___/ (o) `, `. '-==`, ; `. \ : `-. / '; `. / .' `. | ( `. `-.._ \ \` ` `. \ `-.._ `. ;`-.._ `-`._.-. `-._ `-._ `..' `-.```. `-._ `-.._.' `--..__..-`--' `-.,' `._)`/ / / /--( -./,--'`-, ,^--( hjw ,--' `-, Forget Groundhog day this coming Thursday, February 2! Our friend (and relative) Kendra alerted us on Thursday to the fact that here in NW Ohio, spring is coming early this year. She said she saw a fat little robin in her yard. Of course I was thinking it was just some poor stray that hadn't been able to go South for the winter. I was wrong. Saturday, I looked out and there in my yard was a robin on the ground listening for bugs as he walked along. Now we just had a cold front come in with a little snow, so it will be below freezing until mid week when it will go up to around 40 and then go back to freezing again. I have a special place in my heart for robins having rescued and nursed several of them back to health over the years, so I threw some bread out expecting to help them. I watched and saw a couple large male robins come in and hurriedly run right past my bread offering to our leaves we had around our rosebush. They listened intently as they do and then appeared to have gotten some bugs under the leaves. I guess nature knows best. Reminds me of this verse... Matt.6: [26] Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? And This Poetry Page: Spring's Coming http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/spring.html -<>- >-->3 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our first sizzling hot new page comes to us from our friend Linda. I love newfangled things! Innovation that makes our lives easier or more fun is at the top of my list! Here we a few that fit that bill. Have fun checking this one out here... ,.-""``""-., / ,:,;;,;, \ \ ';';;';' / `'---;;---'` <>_==""==_<> _<<<<<>>>>>_ .'____\==/____'. |__ |__| __| /C \ |..| / D\ \_C_/ |;;| \_c_/ |____o|##|o____| \ ___|~~|___ / '>--------<' {==_==_==_=} {= -=_=-_==} {=_=-}{=-=_} {=_==}{-=_=} }~~~~""~~~~{ jgs }____::____{ /` || `\ | || | | || | | || | '-----''-----' High Tech Toys 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/techtoys3.html --- ...Love this! Thanks Linda! Our next two smoking hot new pages are sure to give you your aww quota for the day. If you are like me and you have never seen this critter before, they may just also astonish you. The first one is from our friend Bunni. It is about an adorable animal rescue that took place at a zoo. They had to step in to save this cute little cub and while doing so, they got some of the most irresistible photos of her. Check this one out here... Red Panda Cub http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/redpandacub.html (Hope this works now!) --- ...So sweet! Thanks Bunni! After checking this one out, if you are like me, you are in amazement as to why they named this animal a red panda. Red we can see but certainly not a panda. Maybe as fluffy and cute as a panda but really, not much else to go on. This next one, I just had to do to further our understanding of this adorable little creature. It comes to us from our friends LouiseAu and Bunni. A lot of oh so sweet and adorable photos of our newly found critter. Be sure to further your aww quota for the day with this one here... The Red Panda http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/redpanda.html --- ...I simply adore this! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: .-=":-=") |_.'|_.' /" /" : / / / .' .' : .-'-.---. / .--"""""--.. : .((((__ .\ ___.:-//\\\\\\-._ -. __..--'"` [.]-[.] \\_. ` `""--..__ ..---\ ___(/_ | /___ /---.. """",-/_...---'"`` \,_ /.- ``"'---..__\-,"""" " /"""'"'""""/ " \`'-.__.-' \___ aa/wkm "._________".' A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him." -<>- A tired homemaker opened the front door of her home to find a young minister from the neighborhood who said, "I'm collecting donations for the new children's home we're building. I hope you'll give what you can." "To be sure," said the beleaguered woman, "I'll give you two boys, or two girls, or one of each." -<>- Two brothers were raised on a farm, one brother moved to town. Every year, the city brother would come out to visit the farmer brother. Every time he came out, the farmer brother was complaining about his crops. It was too hot or too cold, too wet or too dry, prices were low, the crops looked bad. As the city brother was driving out one year, he noticed the crops looking great. He had the radio on and crop prices were hitting an all time high. As he got out to the farm, here was the farmer brother sitting in a rocking chair with a grumpy look on his face. The city brother asked why he was in a bad mood. The crops looked great, the right amount of rain, temperature, and prices were setting records highs. The farmer brother said, "You know what a crop like this takes out of the soil?" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ January 30 is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day and National Inane Answering Message Day January 31 is Backward Day and Inspire Your Heart with Art Day February 1 is National Freedom Day and No Politics Day February 2 is Ground Hog Day, Candlemas, Feed the Birds Day and The Day the Music Died February 4 is Create a Vacuum Day, Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day and Thank a Mailman Day February 5 is National Weatherman's Day and Superbowl Sunday - Superbowl 51 date varies ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ,- _,-'""`-._ \ / ,'dHHb |/ `-. _,-'|"`-. `- / / HHHH---<_____`. ,-' ""\ `. -'_ \ `HHP /\ ,' ,' \| dHHb \ '.`./ \ __ \,-' `.""""\___HHHH / \ `-.__|,-' `-. / /HHP,' / \ `-._/_,-' \/\/\| ,-'"""-"""`-. \""\""""""\"/ `--\ \\ \ \ \\ \ Krogg `-.__.' >Jeans Three days of suffering through a nasty virus left me wiped out. But I found a silver lining the very first day I could crawl out of bed. Throwing on a pair of pants, I called out to my husband, "Look! These jeans fit, they finally fit!" "Great," he said. "But they're mine." -<>- >Exercise I'm so tired of exercising. I think five thousand sit-ups should be pretty much permanent. You should be at home, you're on your last and final jumping jack, and you get that phone call, "Congratulations! You have completed the exercise portion of your life. Welcome to the incessant eating section. -<>- >Case Closed Several women, each trying to one-up the other, appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed, "Okay, I'm ready to hear the evidence ... I'll hear the oldest first." The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. -<>- >Golf Attraction? Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf has for men. Mary: Tell me about it! I went golfing with my husband one time, and he told me I asked too many questions! Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask? Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions ... like, "Why did you hit the ball into the trees?" -<>- >New Duty Station After two long, dark, icy winters of duty in Alaska, my daughter and her husband were assigned to Holloman Air Force Base in southern New Mexico. One week after their arrival it snowed -- the first snow in that desert region for years. "The Air Force is great," said my son-in-law. "They not only moved us down here, bag and baggage, they also flew in the weather." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) >SMILES ,------- / --. / ,-"""-. ,-"""-. `. / ,'\dHHb/ `. ,'\dHHb/ `. \ / <>--HHHH--< ) ( >-HHHH--: > | | ()./"HHP \,' `./"HHP\ ,' ,-' `-. () `-...-'. ()`-...-() F() ()J () :: .: : .;__ ,-"-"""---""" ""--.. /-\/ \/#| || || |`-'##`. |" ,' `-'`-'`-'`. "_\ |_ | ,-.,-.,-. | _- / Krogg `.-,-.,-.| ||_|| |,-./\,' `-"""-._/"" "---"""-' A man was very ill and on the verge of dying. The doctor called the man's wife in and said, "There are three things that you can do to help your husband back to health" "What are they, sir?" "One: You must make him three huge meals every day. Two: Never argue with him. Three: Make love to him every night. "I understand." Said the woman. On the way home when the husband asked what the doctor said, the woman replied, "Sorry, honey, but you aren't going to make it." --------- A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plow your land? At night?" "No," the young farmer replied seriously. "Night is when I put the water in the hole." ------- There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer. When asked to define "great," he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error messages. -------- (()__(() / \ ( / \ \ \ o o / (_()_)__/ \ / _,==.____ \ ( |--| ) /\_.|__|'-.__/\_ / ( / \ \ \ ( / ) '._____) / (((____.--(((____/mrf Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!", he squeaks. Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my Porridge?!!," he roars. Mamma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "For goodness sake, how many times do we have to go through this with you two? - It was Mamma Bear who got up first, it was Mamma Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Mamma Bear who made the coffee, it was Mamma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away, it was Mamma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Mamma Bear who set the darn table, it was Momma Bear who put the friggin cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and, now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-arses downstairs, and grace Mamma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I'm only going to say this one more time. . . "I HAVEN'T MADE THE DAY-GONE PORRIDGE YET!" -------- A little girl came running in the house and said, "Mommy, I met the most wonderful man this morning. It was the garbage man, and he was carrying a big bag over his head, and it broke and went all over him. And, you know, Mommy, he just stood there and talked to his mother, his son and God." ------- _ __/") __ ________(___/__(_ \ \ \ (") _ ( \ ) ) ("/ _ / ) ( ( \") \.|\/|./ _________________\ /________________________________________VK_ >"4 Worms In Church" - Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!! A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol . . . . . . Dead! The second worm in cigarette smoke . . . Dead! Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . . Dead! Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . Alive! So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?" Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!" That pretty much ended the service! --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From our friend Geniann :) New Sheriff Who Defeated Arpaio (With Help of Soros) Calls Illegal Aliens “Guests” http://tinyurl.com/zq9xeme --- ...Sad! He'll be butting heads with Pres. Trump! Thanks Geniann! ALERT: EMBARRASSMENT – Dem Chuck Schumer Actually CRIES On National TV Over Trump Executive Order http://tinyurl.com/h7bkcum What's all the hubbub about? Pres. Trump Tweets: Only 109 people out of 325,000 were detained and held for questioning. Big problems at airports were caused by Delta computer outage, protesters and the tears of Senator Schumer. Secretary Kelly said that all is going well with very few problems. MAKE AMERICA SAFE AGAIN! https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump Donald Trump didn’t come up with the list of Muslim countries he wants to ban. Obama did. - They were chosen from a 2015 bill which was signed into law by Barack Obama. http://tinyurl.com/z3wr7lb President Trump’s First Weekly Address To The American People [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/jlhubxl PRESIDENT TRUMP'S YOUNGEST FAN FULL ONE-ON-ONE EXPLOSIVE INTERVIEW WITH JESSE WATTERS (1/28/2017) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNjXT2bMy4A Trump Says He Needs God For Life-And-Death Decisions Of Presidency "... the office is so powerful that you need God even more ..." http://tinyurl.com/jll4zw4 -<>- >From BizarreNews: A Nebraska couple's attempt at a creative baby "gender reveal" ended up earning them a sheriff's citation for setting off an explosive without a state permit. Jon Sterkel, 26, said he and his wife, Ashley, wanted to do something unique for their baby "gender reveal" video on Facebook, so they used exploding targets he previously used without issue on their property. The video shows Sterkel shooting the target, which explodes and releases a cloud of blue chalk while he shouts, "It's a boy!" The explosion resulted in multiple calls to the Scotts Bluff County Sheriff's Office from residents about 3 miles away about an explosion that some misidentified as a house exploding or a car engine blowing out. Sterkel said he heard about the reports from the radio and called the sheriff's office to explain. He also posted an apology on Facebook. "I would like to apologize for all of the confusion," he wrote. "This was just our way of announcing what gender our baby was." The sheriff's office ticketed Sterkel for setting off an explosive without a state permit, a misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in jail and a fine of up to $1,000. "The explosives I bought are readily available in most department stores, and even most law enforcers I have spoken to are not aware that they are illegal," Sterkel said. The baby is due June 16, but Sterkel said not to expect another explosive stunt. "I think we'll do something a little more lower key," he said. -<>- There is dribbling your partner in chocolate syrup in the privacy of your own bedroom, and then there is this. A new nude restaurant has opened in Tenerife, the largest of the Canary Islands in Spain, this week. The eatery is called 'Innato' and encourages diners to take their clothes off while enjoying the gourmet menu. At the door guests are led to a changing room to strip down to a bathrobe. Diners will then walk to their tables completely naked while soaking up the "...atmosphere". Bamboo partitions segregate tables so customers can be naked without the fear of being seen by strangers. But it is not just the guests who are in the buff. The menu includes libido-boosting specials like the "aphrodisiac menu" which is served on naked male and female models who pose as human tables. Just be careful not to grab the clam with the beard on it. A popular menu item is the "Happy Ending" a dessert of drizzled melted chocolate and strawberries served on a naked model. The appetizer tray served on a naked midget has been removed from the menu. *---- Woman Flew Through Tornado in Bathtub ----* An incredibly lucky woman rode out a killer Texas tornado in a bathtub. The National Weather Service forecast office described an 800-yard-wide tornado packing winds of 130 mph that tore off the roof of a storage building and tossed a party barge 200 yards into a grove of trees. But one woman who took shelter in a bathtub got the ride of her life when the tornado lifted the tub out of the home and deposited it in the woods with the woman still in the tub. Except for some cuts and bruises the woman was not injured. In the absence of an underground storm shelter, meteorologists frequently tell people to shelter in a bathtub during a tornado because it is heavy and typically well-secured. And in this case they weren't wrong. Unfortunately, her house was totaled. *-Chinese Man Bicycles 300 Miles in Wrong Direction-* A Chinese man accidentally biked several hundred miles in the wrong direction while making his way home after New Year celebration. The migrant worker had left in December on the 1,056 mile bicycle trip from Rizhao, in Shandong up north to Qiqihar, Heilongjiang province, but was stopped by police in the central Chinese province of Anhui after traveling 310 miles in the wrong direction, according to the BBC. Officers stopped him for driving on a highway which cannot be used by cyclists and informed him he had been accidentally traveling south. The man told police he could not read maps or road signs and was forced to rely on asking people for directions, which left him traveling the wrong way for nearly half the trip. Once they learned of his mistake police and toll workers paid for the man's ticket home. *------ I Think I'm in The Wrong Business ------* Federal agents seized $20 million in cash from underneath a mattress in Massachusetts in relation to a money laundering scheme. The cash was found hidden inside a box spring mattress in a Westborough, Mass. apartment where people had conspired to launder the proceeds of the massive TelexFree pyramid scheme, according to the U.S. Attorney's Office. Cleber Rene Rizerio Rocha, a 28-year-old Brazilian man, was arrested and charged in a criminal complaint with one count of conspiring to commit money laundering. Federal agents searched the TelexFree, Inc. headquarters in 2014 when one of the founders of the company, Carlos Wanzeler, allegedly fled to Brazil. Agents became aware of the multi-million dollar stash after following Rocha while he acted as a courier for Wanzeler's nephew when a cooperating witness allegedly gave him $2.2 million in a suitcase which he later brought to the apartment. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) | --====|====-- | .-"""""-. .'_________'. /_/_|__|__|_\_\ ;'-._ _.-'; ,--------------------| `-. .-' |--------------------, ``""--..__ ___ ; ' ; ___ __..--""`` jgs `"-// \\.._\ /_..// \\-"` \\_// '._ _.' \\_// `"` ``---`` `"` >Boarding a plane in Israel What a simple and brilliant idea! I particularly like the 'spare' seat announcement! It's hard to beat Israeli technology! TEL AVIV, Israel - The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person. Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement: Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is pleased to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London. Shalom!" BRILLIANT! --- ...Love It! Thanks Geniann! LOL! as Fog Horn Leg Horn would say - 'That's a joke'... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTwnwbG9YLE I remember these of him... Do You? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9x_FzCWl2nc ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: /:""| .@@@@@, |: 66|_ @@@@@@@@, C _) aa`@@@@@@ \ ._| (_ ?@@@@ ) / =' @@@@" /`\\ \(``` || |Y| //`\ ."~~~~~". || |#| / | || | .:. | || |#| \ | || A | /6 6\ | || |#| / | || |~|_|_\ e /_|_ .@@@@, :| |=: / | |\ |_|)___`"`___(8 aa`@@@, ||_|,| | |_| \ |~~~~~~~~~| = `@@@ \)))|| | ((( | \_________/ )_/`@' |~~~`-`~~~| `~\~~~~~~| |/ /_\ \| / || @ | | `\ / ()/___\() | || @ |_________| ( || ||~~~~~|| /~|| "` |_________| | || || || /__W_\ | || | || || || ||| |_||__ __|_|| ||_____|| _||| jgs (____)) (:;:;)) ||-----|| ((___) When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: "Some parents," she said, "tell the older child, 'We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.' But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'" One of the women spoke up immediately. "Does she cook?" -<>- [Thanks to Clean Laffs reader Blaine Owens for this one.] A co-worker came to work one day wearing shoes that were identical in style, only one was black and the other brown. I quietly pointed this out to him. He smiled and said, "Unusual, aren't they? Believe it or not, I've got another pair just like this at home." -<>- ///"\ |6 6| \ - / .@@@. __) (__ @6 6@/ \./ \ @ = @ : : : \ _) (_'| : |) ) /' \./ '\ : |_/ / /\ _ /\ \=o==|) \ \ ) (/ /%|%%' '7/ \7%%|%%' | |`%%|%%' | |`%%|%%' | | %%|%% |_.._| /_|_\ pjb Marriage Definitions BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony. BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way. DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat. GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling. HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn't do it. HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had. JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw. LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition. SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place. WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having any- thing to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet. -<>- A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago biting his finger nails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, "Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?" The man gives a nod of approval while shaking terribly. She comes back with a drink and he downs it quickly. Ten minutes later, the flight attendant sees the same man shaking and biting his nails. She brings him another drink which he swallows immediately. A half hour later she returns to see that the man is shaking uncontrollably, and apparently crying. "My goodness," the flight attendant says, "I've never seen someone so afraid to fly." "I'm not afraid of flying," says the man sobbing loudly, "I'm trying to give up drinking." -<>- .-=-. ////"\\ .=. ( 6 6 ) //"\\ \ - / (/6 6\) _.) (._ )\ = /(-` `:` `\ _(_ ) ( _)-| : |\ \ (_/ `\_/` \ | : |/ / / (_ @ _) \\_ : _/ / \ \)___(/ / |===|_) \/`"""`\/ | L | | | | | | | | | | | |_____| | | | ||| | | | ||| | | | ||| |_|_| jgs / Y \ / T \ `"`"` `"`"` >Differences between men and women 1. NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. 2. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. 3. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. 4. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. 5. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument. 6.CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. 7. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 8. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 9. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 10. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. -<>- Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. For example, an Italian Mother might chastise her offspring for not eating by saying, "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill you." A Jewish Mother on the other hand would say, "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill myself." -<>- Judi and Gayle were at an auto show. There they saw a hot-rod with a jacked up rear end. "Judi, why is the back end higher than the front?" Gayle asked. "Don't you know ANYTHING?" Judi sighed exasperated. "If you've got the back up like that, then you're always going downhill!" -<>- Caller: 'Hi, can you connect me with Jack?' Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.' Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of your user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?' Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.' ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) _,,,_ .' `'. / ____ \ | .'_ _\/ / ) a a| / ( > | ( ) ._ / ) _/-.__.'`\ ( .-'`-. \__ ) `/ `-./ `. | \ \ \ jgs | \ \ \ \ |\ `. / / \ >MY TWILIGHT YEARS As I approach my twilight years, I am struck by the inevitability that the party must end. And one clear, cold morning after I'm gone, my spouse will awaken in the warmth of our bedroom and be struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore." No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, or say "I love you." So while we have it, its best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage.....and old cars, and children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a son-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what. Life is important, like people we know who are special. And so, we keep them close! Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know how you really feel? The important thing is to let every one of your friends know your true feelings, even if you think they don't love you back. So, just in case I'm gone tomorrow, please rest assured I voted against that *%^&*, Obama, both times. --- ...LOL! So touching! Me Too! Thanks My dear friend Linda! -<>- ,,,,, \ e e\ C _\/ |\\, )\_) \_ / _/|/_ _// ,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ / \_/ / / , | \_._,-" ( < _' | \ \ ', -',-~.-' _/ ) | |// | ' ' ) | | | | ._., - |.,_ // _\-' )___|__|_ '-._ b'ger /____\__\ >Seniors Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others. HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took The melody out of music, The pride out of appearance, The courtesy out of driving, The romance out of love, The commitment out of marriage, The responsibility out of parenthood, The togetherness out of the family, The learning out of education, The service out of patriotism, The Golden Rule from rulers, The nativity scene out of cities, The civility out of behavior, The refinement out of language, The dedication out of employment, The prudence out of spending, The ambition out of achievement or God out of government and school. And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!! And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country. Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention with their hand over their hearts! YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN! I'm the life of the party..... Even if it lasts until 8 p.m. I'm very good at opening childproof caps..... With a hammer. I'm awake many hours before..... my body allows me to get up. I'm smiling all the time because.... I can't hear a thing you're saying. I'm sure everything I can't find.... is in a safe secure place, somewhere. I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg. I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps. Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life! Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them. Spread the laughter Share the cheer Let's be happy While we're here. MAY GOD BLESS AMERICA AND MAY AMERICA THANK GOD!! Go Green - Recycle CONGRESS!! (especially the old nasty ones!) --- ...LOL! A Good One! Thanks Linda! -<>- ___ /]_/ |\/|.--/'-. \|/:o / /\ ._, \_/_.'0/ _|_ \____]] (>[___]=]]]=== / \___/P{] __// /----\/ (_[-'\__/_ / | | \ '=='='==' ____||||___ snd (_""_/ \_""_) >Testing - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 Something for seniors to do to keep those aging grey cells active! 1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. Q: ...What was the third child's name? 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. Q: ...What does he weigh? 3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, Q: ...what was the highest mountain in the world? 4. How much dirt is there in a hole Q: ...that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? 5. What word in the English Language Q: ...is always spelled incorrectly? 6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. Q: ...How is this possible? 7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Q: ...Why not? 8. What was the President's Name Q: ...in 1975? 9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, Q: ...what place would you be in now? 10. Which is correct to say this Q: ..."The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? 11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, Q:...how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Here are the Answers . . . . . . . 1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child's name? Answer: Johnny of course 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? Answer: Meat. 3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? Answer: Mt. Everest ; it just wasn 't discovered yet. [You're not very good at this are you?] 4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? Answer: There is no dirt in a hole. 5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? Answer: Incorrectly 6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible? Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere 7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? Answer: You can 't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures. 8. What was the President's Name in 1975? Answer: Same as is it now - Donald J. Trump [Oh, come on ...] 9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first. 10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh] 11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one. -<>- ,-~***~-._.-~***~-. / \ / .--~~~--..--~~~--. \ ,' /._,/\._,/\._,/\._,\ `. ~-. \.-~ .-~ // ,-~ \/ ,* / ,* // / the R O L L I N G S T O N E S / ,**' / ,*'// / /,***' / ,**'// / /,***' / ,**'// / / ***' / ,***'// / : ~** ` ,***'/.-~ | **' / \ .' ~-.. ..-~ -Artist Unknown ~~~~~ >IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD 1) You can't count your hair. 2) You can't wash your eyes with soap. 3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out. Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person. Ten (10) Things I know about you. 1) You are reading this 2) You are human. 3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips. 4) You just attempted to do it. 6) You are laughing at yourself. 7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5. 8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5. 9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too. 10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it. --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Awesome Hotel!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/qhotel.html Extreme Rednecks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eredneck.html Humor With Buses!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bushumor.html Life's Little Oops 10!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops10.html Cell Phone Madness!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cellphone.html Expensive Hotels!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ehotels.html Liberty Air Show!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/liberty.html Ray's Freedom Rock!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedomrock.html Angels Are Watching!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angelswatching.html Tour Inside Of Google!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/insidegoogle.html Bible: Are Angels Real?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angelswatching.html Boeing 787 Dreamliner!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/b787.html Proud Of Our Troops 5!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops5.html Amazing Gibraltar Airport!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/airroad.html Northern Lights Over Teepees!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/teepees.html USS New York LPD-21 Tribute!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ussny.html What Your GPS Won't Show You! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gps.html -<>- >Please Visit This Link to Get New Traffic For Shangrala :) Fun Pages http://www.funpageexchange.com/go.php?uid=3559 -<>- >From Our Friend Bunni :) A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Bunni! Silly how one question can lead to an entire investigation. But they proved a duck's quack is like any other in an echo chamber. http://www.acoustics.salford.ac.uk/acoustics_info/duck/?content=index -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) She sent us one we have here... Rarely get to see these - Rarely Seen Things 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rarelyseen2.html --- ...Love these! Thanks Linda! She sent us one we have here... Angel Decoys! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angel.html ...With this video too... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70Ikj1hZDnw --- ...Sweet! Thanks Linda! Drunk Cats - Medicated at the vet and back home... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY6bs9GeskE --- ...Oh My! Thanks Linda! Reminds me of how I've felt at times! Check out these amazing quick change artists on the hit show America's Got Talent. INCREDIBLE HOW THEY DO IT!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7bVdRT20vI --- ...Wowsers! Thanks Linda! China Bus - Transportation Idea https://www.youtube.com/embed/t1gTzc7-IbQ --- ...Wow! Fun To Watch! Great idea! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Queen - Don't Stop Me Now https://www.youtube.com/embed/HgzGwKwLmgM?autoplay=1 Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsLyI1_R01M Johnny Mercer & Pied Pipers - Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah 1947 Paul Weston & His Orchestra https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rkEtnhf0J4 Paul Simon - You can call me Al https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq-gYOrU8bA --- ...Love these! Thanks LouiseAu! I love 'Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah' and especially like the song 'You can call me Al'. The first time I heard this song, it reminded me of me. One of my nicknames is 'Al' after my maiden name. I always said this to people when after they heard my real name they'd give me that puzzled 'what the heck?' look. HaHa! I also identify with that line 'bat-faced girl'. It reminded me of when I was getting clothes out of the dryer one time and scared myself thinking there was a bat in there! I was afraid to look again but finally got up the nerve to thinking there wouldn't be a bat in my dryer! I am ashamed to say, it turned out to be just an image of me in the round shiny metal nob it had on the back inside of the drum! I love this song. Memories! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A man and his 75-year-old mom survived being lifted out of their home during a tornado by sitting together in a bathtub. The man said the tornado didn't traumatize him but being in a bathtub with his mother did." -Conan O'Brien "I've been trying to say 'I love you' more often, starting this morning. I said it to my family before I left the house. And then to my barista. And then to her manager, when the barista complained that one of the customers was making her uncomfortable." -Stephen Colbert "According to a recent study, men on dating sites are more popular if they mention dancing or cooking. Because if there's one thing women love, it's a man who can lie." -Seth Meyers "A Russian billionaire reportedly paid over $4 million to have Mariah Carey and Sir Elton John perform at his teenage granddaughter's wedding. Said his teenage granddaughter, 'Who are these people?'" -Seth Meyers "Boston Medical Center found that 15 percent of 2-year-olds in the Boston area drink as much as 4 ounces of coffee a day. The parents claim they give the kids coffee only when they need it, like when the kid wakes up with a hangover." -Jimmy Kimmel "Apple has changed back their design of the peach emoji to look more like a butt after people were upset the new design no longer looked like a butt. So you see, people - sometimes democracy DOES work!" -Conan O'Brien "Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy wants to reduce Spain's three-hour siesta to one hour. They're just going to have a lunch break like everybody else. Instead of going home for their nap, they'd sleep at their desk like the rest of us." -Stephen Colbert "Disneyland Paris is temporarily shutting down its haunted house after an employee was found dead inside the attraction. But those last few customers really got their money's worth." -Seth Meyers "Best Buy will start selling solar panels in an effort to promote energy conservation. Best Buy says you can find the panels right next to the 300 flat-screen TVs they leave on all day." -Jimmy Fallon "Lululemon is the company that makes yoga pants that are so tight they cut off circulation to the part of your brain that decides how much money is OK to spend on yoga pants." -Jimmy Kimmel "There are some accusations that Silicon Valley discriminates against people because of their age. Elderly groups are so furious about this that they plan to send Silicon Valley an angry fax." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************