You Want A Frosty? ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net =========================== >-->From The FunnyBone: The Same Language _ One reason the Military has trouble operating __|_\_ jointly is that they don't speak the same =u__.-.__) language. /_/ _h___ I __[_]___\_[]=_ __ \, / _[__]=== jgs^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^^''''"" (______) __ _[__]=== For example... (______) If you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy. ===================================================================== ______________ .-~.------------.~-. ,-~ ,'| /// || // `, ~-,_ ,''"'`--|--------|`--------~~~ ~~- .,_ > _|__~ | ~ `. ____ ~ -. I ,',--.`. | : ,'.--.`. `.__) I======: ::____|__________;_;: ::======( `------`. .'-------------------`. .'`------' unknown +-------------- Bizarre Driving Test Answers --------------+ Driving School: Real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school: Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can't see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four- way stop at the same time? A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do." Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your car. Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully. Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed? A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute. Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? A: The color. Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic? A: Heavy psychedelics. =========================================================== ,.=,,==. ,,_ _ ,====, _ |I|`` || `|I `| |`I| || `==,|`` ^^ `` | KING/QUEEN | `` ^^ ||_,===TT`==,,_ | |,==Y``Y==,,__| \L=_-`' +J/` OF \|=_ ' -=#J/..-|=_- =| |=_ -;-='`. .|=_- =|----T--, YOUR |=/\ -|=_-. . |=_-/^\ =||-|-|::|____ |=|| -|=_-. . |=_-| | =|-|-||::\____ LIFE |=LJ -|=_-. . |=_-|_| =||-|-|::::::: |=_ -|=_-_. |=_- =|-|-||::::::: |=_ -|=//^\. |=_- =||-|-|::::::: , |/&_,_-|=|| | |=_- =|-|-||::::::: ,--``8%,/ ',%|| | |=_- =||-|-|%:::::: ,---`_,888` ,.'''''`-.,|,|/!,--,.&\|&\-,|&#::::: |;:;K`__,...;=\_____,=`` %%%& %#,--- |;::::::::::::| `'.________+-------\ `` /8M%;:::;;:::::| | `------- unknown >-->THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 60 Years Old 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" 4. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There's nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat dinner at 4:00 p.m. 9. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 11. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. 12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks in the room. 14. You sing along with the elevator music. 15. Your eyes won't get much worse. 16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. 18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. =========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Kay :) ,-. ( \()Oo `-,---. .-. \ | oO()/ ) \ \ ,--- ,-' |_/ | / ,-. / _/ |_/ \_/ ,-. \_/ s-v How smart is Your Right Foot ? See if you can outsmart your foot. 1. While sitting in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while moving your foot in clockwise circles, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. Isn't that weird?! --- ...Absolutely IS Kay - Thanks! Hard to get it NOT to do that! ================================================================== >-->From Our Friend David R :) |^^^^^^^^^^^^^| || |David R.is Dtruckin55| ||'|";, ___. |_..._..._______===|=||_|__|..., ] "(@)'(@)"""''"**|(@)(@)*****''(@) Good Luvin The journey is the reward --- ...Cool Logo! His was sent in color and looking mighty fine! Here's Some more for our trucker friends... __===*@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@ / ________________________________________ ___ _ ______|^|_ | *** |___ _ /|/~~~~~~~| | *** |____ / | {_) | | *** Aaron R. Revell (aka SomeGuy) |__ __ ____/__|) /~~| |@@@@| ************************************|____ / _____ ~~~~~~~~~|@@@@| ***********************************|___ _ | / \\ --| |_/~~~~~\_______________________/~~~~~\__|_____ |/ *** \\ |---~|/ *** \_____________________/ *** \_|___ _ ` ***** ~~~~===== ***** ***** *** *** *** ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ______________________________________________________ | | / | | /---, | | -----# ==| | | | :) # ==| | | -----'----# | |_____________________________________________________| |)___() '# |______====____ \___________________________________| [_/,-,\"--"------ //,-, ,-,\\\ |/ //,-, ,-, ,-,\\ __# ( 0 )|===******||( 0 )( 0 )||- o '( 0 )( 0 )( 0 )|| ---'-'--------------'-'--'-'-------------------------'-'--'-'--'-'-------- unknown _________________________________________________ /| | | || | | .----|-----,| | || || ==|| | .-----'--'| ==|| | |)- ~| ||_________________________________________________| | ___ | |____...==..._ >\______________________________| [_/.-.\"--"-------- //.-. .-.\\/ |/ \\ .-. .-. // ( o )`==="""""""""`( o )( o ) o `( o )( o )` '-' '-' '-' '-' '-' unknown ======================================================================= >-->From The Jokester: .:::. .:::. /:::::\ /:':':\ | _ | | _ | | (_` | | |_) | | ,_) | | | | | | jgs | | /`'---'`\ /`'---'`\ `'-----'` `'-----'` Mensa Convention Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe. While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa! The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution. "Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..." "Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them. -<>- Creation A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! -<>- >Signs You're Not Mensa Material You couldn't figure out how to break the seal on your standardized intelligence test, so you had to give up. You wonder how the deer know to cross at the deer crossing signs. You are confused by the plot twists of a Bugs Bunny cartoon. You once tried to solve a Rubik's cube and had to be institutionalized for over a year. You had trouble getting in even before they saw the decimal point in your IQ. You are still struggling to finish "Shoe Laces for Dummies." Your family had a celebration when you scored a "perfect 10" points on your SAT. You don't watch PBS because there are no Budweiser or Taco Bell commercials. _ /X \ _------_ / \ | | | | | __ __) | / \/ \ /\/\ (o )o ) Homer Simpson is your idol. /c \__/ --. \_ _-------' | / \ | | '\_______) | \_____) |_____ | |_____/\/\ / \ unknown That "which comes first" thing about chicken and eggs just makes you hungry. -<>- >Olympic Try Outs Three guys are trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Atlanta to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let’s watch the registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in." Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput." He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant. The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here are you packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information." HOT DOG! The first guy grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin." The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here are you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!" The second guy! grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up the registration table and states: "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus." The attendant says, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here are you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself." They scamper in, but suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They groan - OH NO. He's a simpleton from the hills of Vermont. They forgot to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid and blow their cover stories. They spot him walking with a roll of barb wire under his arm. He walks o /|\ =|===|===|(=)|===|=== up to the registration table and states: =|===|===|`='|===|=== unknown "Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing." -<>- >All Named Leroy A man from the Welfare department was interviewing a lady who had requested assistance and he was reviewing her form. He noted that she stated that she had three sons, but only has one name listed, "Leroy". "Yes", she replied, "All three sons are named Leroy." "Why would you do that?", inquired the government worker. "It makes it much easier to get things done.", was her reply. "Leroy, time for bath." And they all would get in the bath. "Leroy, time for supper." And they all would come to the table. Amazed, the government worker then inquired how did she get personal if she wanted to talk with just one of her sons. "Oh that's easy", she replied. "I just call them by their last name." -<>- ,=""=, c , _,{ /\ @ ) __ / ^~~^\ <=.,__/ '}= (_/ ,, ,,) \_ _>_/~ ~\_(/-\)'-,_,_,_,-'(_)-(_) -Naughty >Picking Baby's Name the Easy Way Lawyer's daughter: Sue Thief's son: Rob Lawyer's son: Will Doctor 's son: Bill Meteorologist's daughter: Haley Steam shovel operator's son: Doug Hair Stylist's son: Bob Homeopathic doctor's son: Herb Justice of the peace's daughter: Mary Sound stage technician's son: Mike Hot-dog vendor's son: Frank Gambler's daughter: Betme Exercise guru's son: Jim Cattle Thief's son: Russell Painter's son: Art Iron worker's son: Rusty TV show star's daughter: Emmy Movie star's son: Oscar Barber's son: Harry -<>- _ _V.-o / |`-' (7_\\ jg >Top 20 Dog Names in the United States: 1. Max 1. Maggie 2. Jake 2. Molly 3. Buddy 3. Lady 4. Bailey 4. Sadie 5. Sam 5. Lucy 6. Rocky 6. Daisy 7. Buster 7. Ginger 8. Casey 8. Abby 9. Cody 9. Sasha 10. Duke 10. Sandy 11. Charlie 11. Dakota 12. Jack 12. Katie 13. Harley 13. Annie 14. Rusty 14. Chelsea 15. Toby 15. Princes 16. Murphy 16. Missy 17. Shelby 17. Sophie 18. Sparky 18. Bo 19. Barney 19. Coco 20. Winston 20. Tasha =============================================================== >-->From SermondFodder: Communion Practice My little niece, Kelly, went with a neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. The pastor had the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the "Host," in this case, a piece of bread, he says, "God be with you." Apparently this made quite an impression on my niece. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelly took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice, "God will get you." -<>- __.--._ I Bow My Head To Thee .' L `.--._ Oh Lord! `/ c '` \ `. : ; `. You Are My Hero! | ; \ You are Everything /`. | ' / \ I Long To Be You Are The Wind / -.\ \ ^ ;/ _ \ Beneath My Wings : \`.:/ \| `.| ; | :'' ' ; | | |`. _/_ ; [bug] : : `-._____/ `. / \ | :/ , V\ /"\ __.--; _ : `./ / ; ; : |\_/ | \L _..--. `.L.' |`. __ | | ;`. ; _ \\' `. /`+'.'`. | | | | \CT_; `-. ' / / | |-_| | .-'`.___. `-. / / ; : ; :.-' `-./ /. / \/_/ \/ `./ " `._.' ASTONISHED You may have to be a certain age to remember one of my favorite "love" songs. Back in the 1980's Bette Midler came out with a song that has always touched my heart. The song's title is 'You are the wind beneath my wings". After hearing the song on the radio I bought it as a gift for my wife Melody. The words of the chorus are especially meaningful. Notice them, "Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings. It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart. I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it; I would be nothing with out you." Actually I hadn't heard or thought about that song for a long time then I ran across an amazing story; actually I've had it in a stack of things I have saved on my desk for about a year. Anyway I reread it and things just clicked. Notice this wonderful testimony to a caring heart. "Astonished, I watched the man roller-skating toward me on the bicycle path. An owl, wings outstretched, clung to a leather patch on his shoulder. As they got closer, I could tell that the giant bird had lost part of one wing. The skater stopped for a breather. "Twice a day we go out so he can pretend he's flying," the man told me. "I'm sure he would repay you if he could," I replied. "He already has," the skater said. "I used to weigh 25 pounds more and I smoked." With that, man and bird took off again". ("Life In These United States", Readers Digest Magazine). As I contemplated this story I wondered how many of us have a person who is or has helped us to fly, perhaps to soar when the world has tried to push you down. And I also wondered when might be the last time we thanked them? I am continually astonished! I have many wonderful people in my life that are a constant encouragement to me and I hope I in some small way return the favor. There are times that my wing is broken and I am flapping around in circles on the ground then someone comes along and maybe unknown to you, you help me to fly again and I am astonished at you. Astonished that you care, astonished at God's love seen through you! I am astonished when I think of what Christ has done for me! Go back and watch the movie, 'the passion of Christ' once again if you dare, remember what he did for you and be astonished! Each day I try to make it a practice to say thank you to our God! Thank you for my life, for our world, for all that he has done and is doing for me! What I want you to understand is this: to someone else you may be the hand of God, reaching out and lifting them up and helping them to fly when they can no longer fly themselves. The writer of the book of Hebrews encourages us regarding our relationships with these words in Hebrews 12:12-15: "So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong. Try to live in peace with everyone, and seek to live a clean and holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you will miss out on the special favor of God." (NLT) Perhaps you can mark the path, lift up someone, look out after someone or at least let someone know how much you appreciate them being in your life. Just perhaps you can for someone, be "the wind beneath their wings' and they will be astonished that you care, and more importantly they will see Jesus through and in you! I am astonished by God's plan and your ability to make it work in my life! ("But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles." Isaiah 40:31) Russ Lawson, Messages From The Heart, (http://mfth.net) Messages from the Heart is sent several times each week written by Russ Lawson. To subscribe send a blank email to: join-messages-from-the-heart@xc.org ====================================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: .::\)`:`, .:;\/~`\``;) ,.~-----, ;;==`_ ~:;( ,,~{*}\~~--,.`. ;:== 6 6;;) ,(((((({*});~~. .\ ;;C } )' (('`)))~({*}) . \ .\ :;` `--'; >6 6`({*}))) . \~~ | `____/ ( { ))())) . .`, ____._| |_____. `--' (((())) . | / \ \__ _| | \ `-- )))))) . .| | ) \/\/\_{@} | ,-| ((((((( . | | \_ \ \ | / | / | / ))))))) .| | |\ : \ |/ | Y | (/*@@*( ' ` ) . | \ \ \_\/_/ | | / */ \ \'/ /. | \ \ |o | | \. \ |'@'| .| \ \ | ; ,'--,.,.,., \ ~*@*~. . | \ \_________._--`((,:{@}.:))_\ |~@~| . | \ ' | ((,{@}:{@}.))-----' ;/\ (, \._____________`-__((;,{@},:))_________/|{ | . ; | | | `';{@},) /`-----'\ |. | | .__/\__ | `{@};,; / / | \ \ \/ .| | / :; \ | `(@))\ / \. . | | /! | \| ';; ))_/`-'/`_`., \. | | | ! | | ';(( | | ! `_ \ .| | | ! | | )) | | ! |.\_| | |/ ! | | (/ | | ! | . | | ! | | | | ! |~~~~' >From AFMF: OBAMA WOULD SCRAP DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT Presidential Contender Also Opposes Federal Marriage Amendment “Senator Obama would not only turn back the clock, he would turn the country upside down on the issue of defining marriage. Despite his message of unification, repealing this very good law with widespread support would be a very damaging and divisive course of action,” said Innis. Last month, AFMF wrote to both the Republican and Democratic parties to include language supporting the Marriage Protection Amendment in their 2008 platforms. AFMF is also sponsoring a major rally for marriage with Hispanic voters at the Democratic National Convention in Denver this August. -<>- ,,;;%%;%;` ,;%%%%%`%%%%%%,;%%%%` O ,;%%%%%;` ,;%%%%`;%%/,;%%%%%%%%` / \ ,;%%%,%%%%%%%`` ,;%%%%\%%%%%,%%%%%%%%%%%;` |_| ,%_,%%%%%//-;%%%%%%%` ,;%%%%%%%%\,%`,%%%%%//-;%%%%%`.'|'. ,;%%%%%;% %%_%%%%`%%%%%%` ,;%%%%%;% %%_%%%%`%%%%%%%``.' | '.;%%%%%;% %%`%%%%`%%%%%%`` ,%%%_;%%%%%/_.,%%%% ;%%%;.' | '.%_;%%%\ (_.,%%%%;%`` %` ,%%%%%,-,%%%%;%%%%,`` %%%.' | '.,-,%%%%;%%%%,`` %%%%` ,%%%; ,%%%%%%;\-;%%%%%%.' | '.%%%;\-;%%%%%%``%%`%` ,;% ,;%%%%%\\%%`).-%%%.' | '.%%%\\%%`).-%%%%%` ,%%; %%%%``/-%%%.'\_________,;@;,_________/'.%%%``/-%%%%%%`` ,;%%%' / `/ `|\_________;_;_;_;_________/|%/ `/ `%%%`% / ( %%@, |||%` || ; ; ; ; || ,%|||/ ( `%%` / ;#%@%%%,|||` || | | || |||,%`/ ` __lc%#%@%#%;%%@|||%%,|| ;@#%| | ,@%;||%@,|||%@%;__ %#@%%#%#,@%%#|||#@#||%%#%@| |#@%#@||%%#|||#%%@` ,@%%%#%#%;%%#%%;||___||_____| |_____||___||;@%#%%, ,;%#%%@%%@%#%#%%@||!!!||!!!!!| |!!!!!||!!!||#%%#@#;,%@, ~^,#@%%##%@%%%@%%||!!![]!!!!!| |!!!!![]!!!||@%#%%%@%%#% ~"^,@%#%%%@%#%#|| | | ||#%#@%#%#%%%; ~"^;@%#%%%#@[]_________[___]_________[]%@#%##%%@#%, ~"^"~"^"~[_________________________]~"^"~"^"~"^~ ,;@;, [___________________________] ,;@;, ;[;_;]; ;[;_;]; | |/ \| | | | | | | | | | | | | | [___]_______________________________[___] >From GrassFire: The Truth about Global Warming Grassfire.org's Steve Elliott looks into the truth about Global warming on this week's update. "Grassfire fully supports the very 'conservative' concept of being good stewards of the earth. But conservatives cannot sit by silently as Al Gore and the Climate Alarmists attempt to pull the wool of American's eyes. The claim that global warming is a 'crisis' has been thoroughly debunked by leading scientists around the world." http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=6110&RID=12948031 See more from Steve Elliott here: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=6111&RID=12948031 -<>- >Help stop Al Gore's $1.2 trillion carbon tax You and I are about to get hit with a $1.2 trillion tax increase all in the name of Al Gore's radical Climate Alarmist agenda. Gore and others are spending hundreds of millions of dollars to push this new legislation that will get a vote in Congress in the next 60 days. Today, Grassfire is launching a National Petition opposing this new Al Gore/Carbon Tax Scheme and the Climate Alarmist agenda. Please go here to sign: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?u=6088&RID=10702139 If you oppose Gore's radical agenda, please join us in signing this petition. Thanks in advance for your help, -<>- >From AFA: A teacher, a coach, and a student have religious freedoms stripped away The rights of Christians are under attack again! Consider what has happened just in the last week: * In New Jersey, East Brunswick High School officials told football coach Marcus Borden he cannot kneel and bow his head while members of his team have a student-led pre-game prayer. (http://tinyurl.com/3l8uld) * In Wisconsin’s Tomah Area School District, a teacher refused to give a student identified only as A.T. a grade on an art project because his work included "John 3:16" as well as "A sign of love." However, Buddha, Hindu and sorcerers are considered “approved” forms of art by the school. (http://tinyurl.com/4h7gvl) * In Mt. Vernon, Ohio, school leaders told teacher John Freshwater he must put his Bible out of sight when students are in his room. Mr. Freshwater has refused to do so. He has had a Bible on his desk for the past 18 years. (http://tinyurl.com/45d8ek) Our religious freedoms are slowly being taken away, mainly because Christians have not taken a stand! People of faith are being forced to remain silent while other religions are accepted in the name of “tolerance.” Take Action! Join AFA in expressing appreciation to the two teachers and student mentioned above for their bold stand. Despite overwhelming pressure, Marcus, A.T. and John are standing firm in defending our rights. Sign our “Petition of Appreciation!” https://secure.afa.net/afa/activism/signpetition.asp?id=1750 Help us gather one million signatures supporting these three individuals for standing strong for our religious freedoms. AFA will present a Plaque of Appreciation to each of them, which will include your name and state (no address). -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: _ /|\ /_|_\ ____|____ Homemade boat trapped in backyard \_o_o_o_/ ~~ | ~~~~~ ___t_________ unknown A British man who spent five years constructing a 30-foot yacht in his backyard said he now faces a more perplexing challenge: getting it out of his garden. John Melling, an engineer, said he always knew removing the 26-foot-wide Trimaran yacht from the back garden of his Tywardreath, Cornwall, home would be difficult, but he had initially counted on employing the Royal Air Force to airlift the vessel -- a service they no longer provide, The Daily Mail reported Wednesday. "RAF St. Mawgan (air force base) used to airlift boats for people in similar situations as me and used it as a training opportunity," he said. "But apparently they don't do that anymore -- so I am going to have to take the fence down to get the boat out now." "We will be taking this boat to Greece eventually, after I have retired, to spend some time in the sunshine," Melling said. "I may even race it --- but right now the challenge is getting it out of the garden." Boston terrier saves baby from drowning A heroic Boston terrier named Tyson is being credited for helping rescue a baby from drowning in a Florida family's pool, the baby's mother said. Dog owners Whitney and Brook Michael Lovatt were inside their Stuart, Fla., home with Whitney's sister, Amy Kelaidis, when they heard Tyson barking outside near the pool, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported Wednesday. After following Tyson's persistent barking, Brook reportedly found Kelaidis' 10-month-old son, Lios, floating face down in the pool with blue lips and closed eyes. Lovatt, a licensed boat captain, performed rescue breathing on the child. He was breathing independently when paramedics arrived and was released from Martin Memorial North Medical Center Tuesday. "I think there's a sequence of events you just can't explain. It definitely is God's work for sure. They were calling him 'The Miracle Baby' at the hospital," Kelaidis said. ) ( /( \yYYy,_I_`; JgLFO^JL_ \ `- \, ` Qr+as Cops, contractors save wedged cat A New York woman said her chubby tabby cat had to be rescued by police and construction workers after he fell from a tin roof into a heating shaft. Kenya Stanislas, 23, said her 15-pound feline, Ariel, became lodged 20 feet into a 4-by-8-inch heating vent, leading her to call 911 for assistance, the New York Post reported Wednesday. Emergency Service Unit Detectives Tony Borowiec and Dennis Canale employed contractors to cut a hole in the brick wall and Borowiec then dug through wood and metal to free the 4-year-old tabby. "It's a good feeling," Borowiec said of the successful rescue. However "I'm allergic to cats, so I'm not feeling that good right now," he said. -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Police: Teens tried to steal gator ----------- DAYTONA BEACH SHORES, Fla. - Five students have been arrested for allegedly trying to steal an alligator from a miniature golf course in Daytona Beach Shores, Fla., police said. An officer said he spotted the suspects -- Embry-Riddle University students Jesse Ramos, 18; George Grampp, 18; Craig Devries, 19; Eric Tatki, 19; and Thomas Shaughnessy, 19 -- climbing into the Congo River miniature golf course's alligator pool Thursday morning, WFTV, Orlando, Fla., reported Thursday. The officer said the teenagers, who were allegedly using duct take and a palm frond to try to nab the gator, fled after he tried to make contact with them, but all five were captured by police. The suspects were being held on $1,000 bond each. .'''. ((""")) ((O.O)) ; o ; .("|( / | || / | |/ ,'..,' : ScS @[.,..' \ `, | | | -- Male patient not pregnant ------------------ FAIRFIELD, Ohio - Authorities in Butler County, Ohio, said a team of paramedics was shocked upon discovering a patient who appeared to be pregnant was actually a man. Police reports said the patient, who did not speak much English, was picked up by a Fairfield Township Life Squad at a Speedway gas station and the paramedics believed the patient to be a woman far along in her pregnancy, The Fairfield (Ohio) Echo reported Thursday. However, when they lifted the patient's clothing to check for signs of crowning, they instead found irrefutable evidence of the patient's masculinity. The report said the man, who gave his name as "Mayra," later said he was depressed and "just wanted to go the hospital." -- Ind. police: Lights in sky a mystery ----------- KOKOMO, Ind. - Police in Indiana's Tipton and Howard counties said they have received multiple reports of bright streaks of light in the sky Wednesday night. The police and WRTV, Indianapolis -- which also received calls from residents -- said many of the callers reported an explosion after the lights, and callers from Kokomo reported a metallic smell, WRTV reported. Indiana State Police and county sheriff's departments said they could not locate any crashed objects, despite sending at least 50 emergency responders to investigate. "We had reports of fire and things falling from the sky," said ISP Sgt. Jeremy Kelly. "After that, several reports in several different areas came in, but we did not locate anything consistent with the reports." The Federal Aviation Administration said there have been no reports of missing planes or other objects. Authorities said the incident remains a mystery, but some speculated the ruckus may have been caused by a meteorite. ============================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: I recently looked up which day of the week I was born—a Monday. Then I grabbed this poem by Mother Goose just for the memory of it. Back when it was written, gay simply meant happy. Monday's child is fair of face; Tuesday's child is full of grace; Wednesday's child is full of woe; Thursday's child has far to go; Friday's child is loving and giving; Saturday's child works hard for a living; But the child that is born on the Sabbath day is blythe and bonny, good and gay. --- ...Yeah and Rainbows were simply God's sign to humanity never to destroy the entire earth with a flood again. And fags were cigarettes. -<>- _.._.-..-._ .-' .' /\ \`._ / / .' `-.\ `. :_.' .. : _.../\ | ;___ .-' //\\. \ _..._ / `/\ // \\\ `-.___.-' /\ //\\ \\: | //\V/ :\\ \\ \ \\/ \\ /\\ `.____.\\ \\ .' \\ // /\\---\\-' \\ fsc // // \\ \\ \\ >Computer Virus Types: Adam and Eve Virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline Virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. The MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the At&T Virus. New World Order Virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it. Nike Virus: Just Does It! Texas virus: Makes you think it's bigger than any other file. Paul Revere Virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of an impending hard disk attack; once if by LAN, twice if by C:. -<>- One morning, when my son was about 19 months, he saw me putting on a pale green face-mask. (Something I rarely do.) "What 'ou doin'?" he said. "I'm putting on a face mask," I replied. "What it for?" he asked. "It's to make Mummy look more beautiful," I told him. He stood looking at me in that considering way that small children have, then said as gently as possible, "Well...it doesn't." -<>- Q. Why do cups sweat? A. They don't. The "sweat" isn't liquid leaking out from inside but condensation from the surrounding air. Cold air holds less water vapor than warmer air. When you have a cold beverage in your glass, the beverage cools the air around the outside of the glass. That causes the air around the glass to let go of its water. It's this condensation that causes the moisture that you see. ====================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: A nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down out- side the operating room where another golfer who had a golf ball driven down his throat was being treated. "Is he a relative of your's?" the nurse asked the pacing golfer. _...._ .'.o' o.'. /o o .o' o'\ |'.o 'o. o'.o| |o. o' o 'o .| \ o .o.'o'./ '._o__o_.' \ / || || || || || jgs || \/ "No...It's my ball." -<>- After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy, the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother. "It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age," the neighbor said. "Sexuality?!" the mother yelled. "He took out her appendix!" -<>- The father of a teenage daughter was concerned with the amount of time she spent on the telephone; not so much for the time she wasted (he had given up on that long ago), but because nobody else could use the phone. So, as a happy solution, he had a telephone installed for her with her own private number and directory listing. Two or three days after her telephone had been installed, he came home to find her stretched out on the floor with her feet on the living room couch and chatting away on the family telephone. Her own telephone was resting silently on her dresser. "Why are you using our telephone," he yelled. "Why aren't you talking on your own telephone?" "I can't," she said, "I'm expecting an important call on my phone." -<>- _________________________ || || || || || ||, , ,|| || || (||/|/(\||/ || || ||| _'_`||| || || || o o || || || (|| - `||) || || || = || || ScS || ||\___/|| || ||___||) , (||___|| /||---||-\_/-||---||\ / ||--_||_____||_--|| \ (_(||)-| S123-45 |-(||)_) |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""| A convicted felon was given ten years without parole for his latest crime. After 2 years in jail, he managed to escape. His escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news. Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking little traveled routes, running across deserted fields and taking every precaution he could think of. Eventually he arrived at his house and he rang the bell. His wife opened the door and bellowed at him, "You good-for- nothing bum! Where the heck have ya been? You escaped over 12 hours ago." -<>- My husband seems to feel one should get their money's worth on vacation. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to frolic every minute or not. But once when I was sitting in a beach chair on the sand, he came out of the surf and said, "This is costing us $300 a day - and you sit there reading a book!" -<>- Dobbins lost his eye in an accident and couldn't afford the price of a glass eye. So he carved one out of wood. But he was so self-conscious that he never left the house. Finally, his friend Eddy came over and forced him to go out. "There's a dance over at the club," he said. "So what if one of your eyes is made out of wood?" "All right," said Dobbins, "but if anybody makes fun of my eye I'm leaving." He went to the dance and stood around, trying to build up his courage. And then he saw a woman standing alone in the corner. She was very attractive, but she had a hunchback. "She's worse off than me," Dobbins thought. "The least I can do is ask her to dance. He walked across the crowded dance floor and approached the girl. "Would you care to dance?" he asked. "Would I?!" she exclaimed. "That does it," he shouted, "Hunchback! Hunchback!" ================================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit: Roller Coasters http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coaster.html Car Show http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carshow.html VOLKNER MOBIL RV! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rv.html Buy A Dog http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buyadog.html God Is Like http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/godislike.html -<>- >From TheMouth: BUG REVIEW http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/bugreview/index.html AINT IT COOL NEWS http://www.aintitcool.com/ HORSESHOE PIT http://www.horseshoepitching.com/start.html -<>- >-->From LynnLynns Links Diabetes Life http://www.dlife.com/dLife/do/ShowContent Kelly Miller Circus http://www.kellymillercircus.com/ World Clock http://www.chippynews.com/worldclock.htm Alberta Oil Sands http://www.energy.gov.ab.ca/OilSands/oilsands.asp Weddings Aren't Always Perfect http://www.buffalosjokes.com/062715.htm Unpleasant Surprise While Refueling http://www.buffalosjokes.com/062716.htm Can't Frown http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21717.htm P.B.U http://www.buffaloschips.com/50237.htm Oy Vey http://www.buffaloschips.com/50235.htm To subscribe send a blank email to lynnlynns-links-subscribe@egroups.com ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "They've just released a study that says in the next 30 years, there is a 97 percent chance that Southern California will have an earthquake of magnitude 6.7 or greater. And there's a 40 percent chance of either being run over or attacked by Britney Spears. Things are pretty bleak." -Jimmy Kimmel "According to a new study, polar bears will probably be ex- tinct by the year 2050. So enjoy eating them while you can." -Dave Letterman "John McCain apologized today after admitting some of the McCain family recipes posted on his Web site were actually plagiarized from the Food Network. How many different recipes can there be for prunes and creamed corn!" - Craig Ferguson "The Pope arrived in Washington D.C. today. Of course, he flew Virgin Atlantic. He almost wasn't allowed on the aircraft because he tried to bring on more than 3 ounces of holy water." - David Letterman "I was at Starbucks today and had the new Barack Obama Roast. Have you had this? Tasted kind of bitter." - Jay Leno "The legendary Ferris Wheel from Santa Monica Pier has just been put on e-Bay. On sale to the highest bidder. If you're not from the L.A. area, the Santa Monica Ferris Wheel is an L.A. institution. Like the Hollywood sign, the Chinese Theater, or rehab." -Craig Ferguson "In Florida, two 55-year-old women were arrested for robbing banks while dressed as ninjas. If they're convicted the women could be given 10 years in prison and a Lifetime movie of the week." -Conan O'Brien "Former presidential candidate John Edwards announced this week he will not accept the nomination for vice president. That's what he said. He will not accept the vice presidential nomination. To which the cashier at Wendy's said, 'You want a frosty with this, mister? People are waiting.'" -Jay Leno >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - YabbaDabbaDoo! :) Shangy! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales &&& Service You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food anddd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************