You Want A Frosty? ... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
or Web Site:
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Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
===========================
>-->From The FunnyBone: The Same Language
_
One reason the Military has trouble operating __|_\_
jointly is that they don't speak the same =u__.-.__)
language. /_/
_h___ I
__[_]___\_[]=_ __
\, / _[__]===
jgs^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^^''''"" (______) __
_[__]===
For example... (______)
If you told Navy personnel to "secure a
building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.
Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.
Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with
suppressive fire and close combat.
The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease
with an option to buy.
=====================================================================
______________
.-~.------------.~-.
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,''"'`--|--------|`--------~~~ ~~- .,_
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I======: ::____|__________;_;: ::======(
`------`. .'-------------------`. .'`------'
unknown
+-------------- Bizarre Driving Test Answers --------------+
Driving School: Real answers received on exams given by the
California Department of Transportation's driving school:
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the
road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-
way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper
sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could
no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being
passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic
light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
===========================================================
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|=|| -|=_-. . |=_-| | =|-|-||::\____
LIFE |=LJ -|=_-. . |=_-|_| =||-|-|:::::::
|=_ -|=_-_. |=_- =|-|-||:::::::
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unknown
>-->THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 60 Years Old
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released
first.
3. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
4. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4:00 p.m.
9. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize
it.
12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who
walks in the room.
14. You sing along with the elevator music.
15. Your eyes won't get much worse.
16. Your investment in health insurance is finally
beginning to pay off.
17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the
National Weather Service.
18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they
can't remember them either.
19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a
manageable size.
===========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Kay :)
,-.
( \()Oo
`-,---.
.-. \ |
oO()/ ) \ \
,--- ,-' |_/
| / ,-.
/ _/ |_/
\_/
,-.
\_/ s-v
How smart is Your Right Foot ?
See if you can outsmart your foot.
1. While sitting in front of your computer,
lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while moving your foot in clockwise circles, draw the
number "6" in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction.
Isn't that weird?!
---
...Absolutely IS Kay - Thanks! Hard to get it NOT to do that!
==================================================================
>-->From Our Friend David R :)
|^^^^^^^^^^^^^| ||
|David R.is Dtruckin55| ||'|";, ___.
|_..._..._______===|=||_|__|..., ]
"(@)'(@)"""''"**|(@)(@)*****''(@)
Good Luvin The journey is the reward
---
...Cool Logo! His was sent in color and looking mighty fine!
Here's Some more for our trucker friends...
__===*@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@
/ ________________________________________ ___ _
______|^|_ | *** |___ _
/|/~~~~~~~| | *** |____
/ | {_) | | *** Aaron R. Revell (aka SomeGuy) |__ __
____/__|) /~~| |@@@@| ************************************|____
/ _____ ~~~~~~~~~|@@@@| ***********************************|___ _
| / \\ --| |_/~~~~~\_______________________/~~~~~\__|_____
|/ *** \\ |---~|/ *** \_____________________/ *** \_|___ _
` ***** ~~~~===== ***** *****
*** *** ***
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
______________________________________________________
| |
/ | |
/---, | |
-----# ==| | |
| :) # ==| | |
-----'----# | |_____________________________________________________|
|)___() '# |______====____ \___________________________________|
[_/,-,\"--"------ //,-, ,-,\\\ |/ //,-, ,-, ,-,\\ __#
( 0 )|===******||( 0 )( 0 )||- o '( 0 )( 0 )( 0 )||
---'-'--------------'-'--'-'-------------------------'-'--'-'--'-'--------
unknown
_________________________________________________
/| | |
|| | |
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|)- ~| ||_________________________________________________|
| ___ | |____...==..._ >\______________________________|
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( o )`==="""""""""`( o )( o ) o `( o )( o )`
'-' '-' '-' '-' '-'
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=======================================================================
>-->From The Jokester:
.:::.
.:::. /:::::\
/:':':\ | _ |
| _ | | (_` |
| |_) | | ,_) |
| | | | |
jgs | | /`'---'`\
/`'---'`\ `'-----'`
`'-----'`
Mensa Convention
Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A
few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and
several members lunched at a local cafe. While dining, they discovered
that their saltshaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full
of salt.
How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and
using only the implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa! The
group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant
solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called
the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.
"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker
contains salt and the salt shaker..."
"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the
caps of both bottles and switched them.
-<>-
Creation
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid
and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to
you!
-<>-
>Signs You're Not Mensa Material
You couldn't figure out how to break the seal on your standardized
intelligence test, so you had to give up.
You wonder how the deer know to cross at the deer crossing signs.
You are confused by the plot twists of a Bugs Bunny cartoon.
You once tried to solve a Rubik's cube and had to be institutionalized
for over a year.
You had trouble getting in even before they saw the decimal point in
your IQ.
You are still struggling to finish "Shoe Laces for Dummies."
Your family had a celebration when you scored a "perfect 10" points on
your SAT.
You don't watch PBS because there are no Budweiser or Taco Bell
commercials.
_
/X \
_------_
/ \
| |
| |
| __ __)
| / \/ \
/\/\ (o )o ) Homer Simpson is your idol.
/c \__/ --.
\_ _-------'
| / \
| | '\_______)
| \_____)
|_____ |
|_____/\/\
/ \
unknown
That "which comes first" thing about chicken and eggs just makes you
hungry.
-<>-
>Olympic Try Outs
Three guys are trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Atlanta to
scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let’s watch the
registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system
that we can utilize to scam our way in."
Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Angus
MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput." He opens his gym bag to display a
shotput to the registration attendant.
The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here are you packet of
registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic
events, meal tickets, and other information."
HOT DOG! The first guy grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs
and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chuck Wagon.
Canada. Javelin."
The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here are you packet of
registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth.
Good luck!"
The second guy! grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up the
registration table and states: "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus."
The attendant says, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here are you packet of
registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal
tickets. Enjoy yourself."
They scamper in, but suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They
groan - OH NO. He's a simpleton from the hills of Vermont. They forgot
to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid and blow their cover
stories.
They spot him walking with a roll of barb wire under his arm. He walks
o
/|\
=|===|===|(=)|===|=== up to the registration table and states:
=|===|===|`='|===|===
unknown
"Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing."
-<>-
>All Named Leroy
A man from the Welfare department was interviewing a lady who had
requested assistance and he was reviewing her form. He noted that she
stated that she had three sons, but only has one name listed, "Leroy".
"Yes", she replied, "All three sons are named Leroy."
"Why would you do that?", inquired the government worker.
"It makes it much easier to get things done.", was her reply. "Leroy,
time for bath." And they all would get in the bath. "Leroy, time for
supper." And they all would come to the table.
Amazed, the government worker then inquired how did she get personal if
she wanted to talk with just one of her sons.
"Oh that's easy", she replied. "I just call them by their last name."
-<>-
,=""=,
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~\_(/-\)'-,_,_,_,-'(_)-(_) -Naughty
>Picking Baby's Name the Easy Way
Lawyer's daughter: Sue
Thief's son: Rob
Lawyer's son: Will
Doctor 's son: Bill
Meteorologist's daughter: Haley
Steam shovel operator's son: Doug
Hair Stylist's son: Bob
Homeopathic doctor's son: Herb
Justice of the peace's daughter: Mary
Sound stage technician's son: Mike
Hot-dog vendor's son: Frank
Gambler's daughter: Betme
Exercise guru's son: Jim
Cattle Thief's son: Russell
Painter's son: Art
Iron worker's son: Rusty
TV show star's daughter: Emmy
Movie star's son: Oscar
Barber's son: Harry
-<>-
_
_V.-o
/ |`-'
(7_\\
jg
>Top 20 Dog Names in the United States:
1. Max 1. Maggie
2. Jake 2. Molly
3. Buddy 3. Lady
4. Bailey 4. Sadie
5. Sam 5. Lucy
6. Rocky 6. Daisy
7. Buster 7. Ginger
8. Casey 8. Abby
9. Cody 9. Sasha
10. Duke 10. Sandy
11. Charlie 11. Dakota
12. Jack 12. Katie
13. Harley 13. Annie
14. Rusty 14. Chelsea
15. Toby 15. Princes
16. Murphy 16. Missy
17. Shelby 17. Sophie
18. Sparky 18. Bo
19. Barney 19. Coco
20. Winston 20. Tasha
===============================================================
>-->From SermondFodder:
Communion Practice
My little niece, Kelly, went with a neighbor girl to church
for First Communion practice. The pastor had the children
cup their hands, and when he gives them the "Host," in this
case, a piece of bread, he says, "God be with you."
Apparently this made quite an impression on my niece. She
came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend
down. Kelly took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed
it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic
voice, "God will get you."
-<>-
__.--._
I Bow My Head To Thee .' L `.--._
Oh Lord! `/ c '` \ `.
: ; `.
You Are My Hero! | ; \ You are Everything
/`. | ' / \ I Long To Be
You Are The Wind / -.\ \ ^ ;/ _ \
Beneath My Wings : \`.:/ \| `.| ;
| :'' ' ; |
| |`. _/_ ;
[bug] : : `-._____/ `. /
\ | :/ , V\
/"\ __.--; _ : `./ / ; ;
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\/_/ \/ `./
" `._.'
ASTONISHED
You may have to be a certain age to remember one of my
favorite "love" songs. Back in the 1980's Bette Midler came out with
a song that has always touched my heart. The song's title is 'You are
the wind beneath my wings". After hearing the song on the radio I
bought it as a gift for my wife Melody. The words of the chorus are
especially meaningful. Notice them, "Did you ever know that you're my
hero, and everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an
eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings. It might have
appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart. I
want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it; I would be
nothing with out you."
Actually I hadn't heard or thought about that song for a long time
then I ran across an amazing story; actually I've had it in a stack
of things I have saved on my desk for about a year. Anyway I reread
it and things just clicked. Notice this wonderful testimony to a
caring heart.
"Astonished, I watched the man roller-skating toward me on the
bicycle path. An owl, wings outstretched, clung to a leather patch on
his shoulder. As they got closer, I could tell that the giant bird
had lost part of one wing. The skater stopped for a breather. "Twice
a day we go out so he can pretend he's flying," the man told me. "I'm
sure he would repay you if he could," I replied. "He already has,"
the skater said. "I used to weigh 25 pounds more and I smoked." With
that, man and bird took off again". ("Life In These United States",
Readers Digest Magazine).
As I contemplated this story I wondered how many of us have a person
who is or has helped us to fly, perhaps to soar when the world has
tried to push you down. And I also wondered when might be the last
time we thanked them?
I am continually astonished! I have many wonderful people in my life
that are a constant encouragement to me and I hope I in some small
way return the favor. There are times that my wing is broken and I am
flapping around in circles on the ground then someone comes along and
maybe unknown to you, you help me to fly again and I am astonished at
you. Astonished that you care, astonished at God's love seen through
you!
I am astonished when I think of what Christ has done for me! Go back
and watch the movie, 'the passion of Christ' once again if you dare,
remember what he did for you and be astonished!
Each day I try to make it a practice to say thank you to our God!
Thank you for my life, for our world, for all that he has done and is
doing for me! What I want you to understand is this: to someone else
you may be the hand of God, reaching out and lifting them up and
helping them to fly when they can no longer fly themselves.
The writer of the book of Hebrews encourages us regarding our
relationships with these words in Hebrews 12:12-15: "So take a new
grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark
out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though
they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become
strong. Try to live in peace with everyone, and seek to live a clean
and holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look
after each other so that none of you will miss out on the special
favor of God." (NLT)
Perhaps you can mark the path, lift up someone, look out after
someone or at least let someone know how much you appreciate them
being in your life. Just perhaps you can for someone, be "the wind
beneath their wings' and they will be astonished that you care, and
more importantly they will see Jesus through and in you!
I am astonished by God's plan and your ability to make it work in my
life! ("But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They
will fly high on wings like eagles." Isaiah 40:31)
Russ Lawson, Messages From The Heart, (http://mfth.net) Messages from
the Heart is sent several times each week written by Russ Lawson. To
subscribe send a blank email to: join-messages-from-the-heart@xc.org
======================================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
.::\)`:`,
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| `____/ ( { ))())) . .`,
____._| |_____. `--' (((())) . |
/ \ \__ _| | \ `-- )))))) . .|
| ) \/\/\_{@} | ,-| ((((((( . |
| \_ \ \ | / | / | / ))))))) .|
| |\ : \ |/ | Y | (/*@@*( ' ` ) . |
\ \ \_\/_/ | | / */ \ \'/ /. |
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\ \ | ; ,'--,.,.,., \ ~*@*~. . |
\ \_________._--`((,:{@}.:))_\ |~@~| . |
\ ' | ((,{@}:{@}.))-----' ;/\ (,
\._____________`-__((;,{@},:))_________/|{ | . ;
| | | `';{@},) /`-----'\ |. |
| .__/\__ | `{@};,; / / | \ \ \/ .|
| / :; \ | `(@))\ / \. . |
| /! | \| ';; ))_/`-'/`_`., \. |
| | ! | | ';(( | | ! `_ \ .|
| | ! | | )) | | ! |.\_| |
|/ ! | | (/ | | ! | . |
| ! | | | | ! |~~~~'
>From AFMF: OBAMA WOULD SCRAP DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT
Presidential Contender Also Opposes Federal Marriage Amendment
“Senator Obama would not only turn back the clock, he would turn the
country upside down on the issue of defining marriage. Despite his
message of unification, repealing this very good law with widespread
support would be a very damaging and divisive course of action,”
said Innis.
Last month, AFMF wrote to both the Republican and Democratic parties
to include language supporting the Marriage Protection Amendment in
their 2008 platforms. AFMF is also sponsoring a major rally for
marriage with Hispanic voters at the Democratic National Convention
in Denver this August.
-<>-
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,@%%%#%#%;%%#%%;||___||_____| |_____||___||;@%#%%,
,;%#%%@%%@%#%#%%@||!!!||!!!!!| |!!!!!||!!!||#%%#@#;,%@,
~^,#@%%##%@%%%@%%||!!![]!!!!!| |!!!!![]!!!||@%#%%%@%%#%
~"^,@%#%%%@%#%#|| | | ||#%#@%#%#%%%;
~"^;@%#%%%#@[]_________[___]_________[]%@#%##%%@#%,
~"^"~"^"~[_________________________]~"^"~"^"~"^~
,;@;, [___________________________] ,;@;,
;[;_;]; ;[;_;];
| |/ \| |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
[___]_______________________________[___]
>From GrassFire: The Truth about Global Warming
Grassfire.org's Steve Elliott looks into the truth about Global
warming on this week's update.
"Grassfire fully supports the very 'conservative' concept of being
good stewards of the earth. But conservatives cannot sit by silently
as Al Gore and the Climate Alarmists attempt to pull the wool of
American's eyes. The claim that global warming is a 'crisis' has
been thoroughly debunked by leading scientists around the world."
http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=6110&RID=12948031
See more from Steve Elliott here:
http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=6111&RID=12948031
-<>-
>Help stop Al Gore's $1.2 trillion carbon tax
You and I are about to get hit with a $1.2 trillion tax increase
all in the name of Al Gore's radical Climate Alarmist agenda.
Gore and others are spending hundreds of millions of dollars
to push this new legislation that will get a vote in Congress
in the next 60 days.
Today, Grassfire is launching a National Petition opposing
this new Al Gore/Carbon Tax Scheme and the Climate
Alarmist agenda. Please go here to sign:
http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?u=6088&RID=10702139
If you oppose Gore's radical agenda, please join us in signing
this petition. Thanks in advance for your help,
-<>-
>From AFA: A teacher, a coach, and a student have religious freedoms
stripped away
The rights of Christians are under attack again! Consider what has
happened just in the last week:
* In New Jersey, East Brunswick High School officials told football
coach Marcus Borden he cannot kneel and bow his head while members of
his team have a student-led pre-game prayer. (http://tinyurl.com/3l8uld)
* In Wisconsin’s Tomah Area School District, a teacher refused to
give a student identified only as A.T. a grade on an art project because
his work included "John 3:16" as well as "A sign of love." However,
Buddha, Hindu and sorcerers are considered “approved” forms of art by
the school. (http://tinyurl.com/4h7gvl)
* In Mt. Vernon, Ohio, school leaders told teacher John Freshwater
he must put his Bible out of sight when students are in his room. Mr.
Freshwater has refused to do so. He has had a Bible on his desk for the
past 18 years. (http://tinyurl.com/45d8ek)
Our religious freedoms are slowly being taken away, mainly because
Christians have not taken a stand! People of faith are being forced to
remain silent while other religions are accepted in the name of
“tolerance.”
Take Action!
Join AFA in expressing appreciation to the two teachers and student
mentioned above for their bold stand. Despite overwhelming pressure,
Marcus, A.T. and John are standing firm in defending our rights.
Sign our “Petition of Appreciation!”
https://secure.afa.net/afa/activism/signpetition.asp?id=1750
Help us gather one million signatures supporting these three individuals
for standing strong for our religious freedoms. AFA will present a
Plaque of Appreciation to each of them, which will include your name and
state (no address).
-<>-
>From CoffeeBreak:
_
/|\
/_|_\
____|____ Homemade boat trapped in backyard
\_o_o_o_/
~~ | ~~~~~
___t_________
unknown
A British man who spent five years constructing a 30-foot
yacht in his backyard said he now faces a more perplexing
challenge: getting it out of his garden. John Melling, an
engineer, said he always knew removing the 26-foot-wide
Trimaran yacht from the back garden of his Tywardreath,
Cornwall, home would be difficult, but he had initially
counted on employing the Royal Air Force to airlift the
vessel -- a service they no longer provide, The Daily Mail
reported Wednesday. "RAF St. Mawgan (air force base) used
to airlift boats for people in similar situations as me and
used it as a training opportunity," he said. "But apparently
they don't do that anymore -- so I am going to have to
take the fence down to get the boat out now." "We will be
taking this boat to Greece eventually, after I have retired,
to spend some time in the sunshine," Melling said. "I may
even race it --- but right now the challenge is getting
it out of the garden."
Boston terrier saves baby from drowning
A heroic Boston terrier named Tyson is being credited for
helping rescue a baby from drowning in a Florida family's
pool, the baby's mother said. Dog owners Whitney and Brook
Michael Lovatt were inside their Stuart, Fla., home with
Whitney's sister, Amy Kelaidis, when they heard Tyson
barking outside near the pool, the South Florida
Sun-Sentinel reported Wednesday. After following Tyson's
persistent barking, Brook reportedly found Kelaidis'
10-month-old son, Lios, floating face down in the pool
with blue lips and closed eyes. Lovatt, a licensed boat
captain, performed rescue breathing on the child. He was
breathing independently when paramedics arrived and was
released from Martin Memorial North Medical Center Tuesday.
"I think there's a sequence of events you just can't
explain. It definitely is God's work for sure. They were
calling him 'The Miracle Baby' at the hospital," Kelaidis
said.
)
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Cops, contractors save wedged cat
A New York woman said her chubby tabby cat had to be rescued
by police and construction workers after he fell from a
tin roof into a heating shaft. Kenya Stanislas, 23, said
her 15-pound feline, Ariel, became lodged 20 feet into a
4-by-8-inch heating vent, leading her to call 911 for
assistance, the New York Post reported Wednesday. Emergency
Service Unit Detectives Tony Borowiec and Dennis Canale
employed contractors to cut a hole in the brick wall and
Borowiec then dug through wood and metal to free the
4-year-old tabby. "It's a good feeling," Borowiec said of
the successful rescue. However "I'm allergic to cats, so
I'm not feeling that good right now," he said.
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
-- Police: Teens tried to steal gator -----------
DAYTONA BEACH SHORES, Fla. - Five students have been
arrested for allegedly trying to steal an alligator from
a miniature golf course in Daytona Beach Shores, Fla.,
police said. An officer said he spotted the suspects --
Embry-Riddle University students Jesse Ramos, 18; George
Grampp, 18; Craig Devries, 19; Eric Tatki, 19; and Thomas
Shaughnessy, 19 -- climbing into the Congo River miniature
golf course's alligator pool Thursday morning, WFTV,
Orlando, Fla., reported Thursday. The officer said the
teenagers, who were allegedly using duct take and a palm
frond to try to nab the gator, fled after he tried to make
contact with them, but all five were captured by police.
The suspects were being held on $1,000 bond each.
.'''.
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-- Male patient not pregnant ------------------
FAIRFIELD, Ohio - Authorities in Butler County, Ohio, said
a team of paramedics was shocked upon discovering a patient
who appeared to be pregnant was actually a man. Police
reports said the patient, who did not speak much English,
was picked up by a Fairfield Township Life Squad at a
Speedway gas station and the paramedics believed the
patient to be a woman far along in her pregnancy, The
Fairfield (Ohio) Echo reported Thursday. However, when
they lifted the patient's clothing to check for signs of
crowning, they instead found irrefutable evidence of the
patient's masculinity. The report said the man, who gave
his name as "Mayra," later said he was depressed and "just
wanted to go the hospital."
-- Ind. police: Lights in sky a mystery -----------
KOKOMO, Ind. - Police in Indiana's Tipton and Howard
counties said they have received multiple reports of
bright streaks of light in the sky Wednesday night.
The police and WRTV, Indianapolis -- which also received
calls from residents -- said many of the callers reported
an explosion after the lights, and callers from Kokomo
reported a metallic smell, WRTV reported. Indiana State
Police and county sheriff's departments said they could
not locate any crashed objects, despite sending at least
50 emergency responders to investigate. "We had reports
of fire and things falling from the sky," said ISP Sgt.
Jeremy Kelly. "After that, several reports in several
different areas came in, but we did not locate anything
consistent with the reports." The Federal Aviation
Administration said there have been no reports of missing
planes or other objects. Authorities said the incident
remains a mystery, but some speculated the ruckus may
have been caused by a meteorite.
==============================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
I recently looked up which day of the week I was born—a Monday.
Then I grabbed this poem by Mother Goose just for the memory of
it. Back when it was written, gay simply meant happy.
Monday's child is fair of face;
Tuesday's child is full of grace;
Wednesday's child is full of woe;
Thursday's child has far to go;
Friday's child is loving and giving;
Saturday's child works hard for a living;
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day
is blythe and bonny, good and gay.
---
...Yeah and Rainbows were simply God's sign to humanity never
to destroy the entire earth with a flood again. And fags were
cigarettes.
-<>-
_.._.-..-._
.-' .' /\ \`._
/ / .' `-.\ `.
:_.' .. : _.../\
| ;___ .-' //\\.
\ _..._ / `/\ // \\\
`-.___.-' /\ //\\ \\:
| //\V/ :\\ \\
\ \\/ \\ /\\
`.____.\\ \\ .' \\
// /\\---\\-' \\
fsc // // \\ \\ \\
>Computer Virus Types:
Adam and Eve Virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline Virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
back.
The MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
much for the At&T Virus.
New World Order Virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
really mad just thinking about it.
Nike Virus: Just Does It!
Texas virus: Makes you think it's bigger than any other file.
Paul Revere Virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
warns you of an impending hard disk attack; once if by LAN, twice if by
C:.
-<>-
One morning, when my son was about 19 months, he saw me putting on a
pale green face-mask. (Something I rarely do.)
"What 'ou doin'?" he said.
"I'm putting on a face mask," I replied.
"What it for?" he asked.
"It's to make Mummy look more beautiful," I told him.
He stood looking at me in that considering way that small children have,
then said as gently as possible, "Well...it doesn't."
-<>-
Q. Why do cups sweat?
A. They don't. The "sweat" isn't liquid leaking out from
inside but condensation from the surrounding air. Cold
air holds less water vapor than warmer air. When you
have a cold beverage in your glass, the beverage cools
the air around the outside of the glass. That causes
the air around the glass to let go of its water. It's
this condensation that causes the moisture that you see.
======================================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
A nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down out-
side the operating room where another golfer who had a golf
ball driven down his throat was being treated.
"Is he a relative of your's?" the nurse asked the pacing
golfer.
_...._
.'.o' o.'.
/o o .o' o'\
|'.o 'o. o'.o|
|o. o' o 'o .|
\ o .o.'o'./
'._o__o_.'
\ /
||
||
||
||
||
jgs ||
\/
"No...It's my ball."
-<>-
After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the
neighbor's boy, the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear
and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother.
"It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their
sexuality by playing doctor at their age," the neighbor said.
"Sexuality?!" the mother yelled. "He took out her appendix!"
-<>-
The father of a teenage daughter was concerned with the
amount of time she spent on the telephone; not so much for
the time she wasted (he had given up on that long ago),
but because nobody else could use the phone.
So, as a happy solution, he had a telephone installed for
her with her own private number and directory listing.
Two or three days after her telephone had been installed,
he came home to find her stretched out on the floor with
her feet on the living room couch and chatting away on the
family telephone. Her own telephone was resting silently
on her dresser. "Why are you using our telephone," he
yelled. "Why aren't you talking on your own telephone?"
"I can't," she said, "I'm expecting an important call on my
phone."
-<>-
_________________________
|| || || ||
|| ||, , ,|| ||
|| (||/|/(\||/ ||
|| ||| _'_`||| ||
|| || o o || ||
|| (|| - `||) ||
|| || = || ||
ScS || ||\___/|| ||
||___||) , (||___||
/||---||-\_/-||---||\
/ ||--_||_____||_--|| \
(_(||)-| S123-45 |-(||)_)
|"""""""""""""""""""""""""""|
A convicted felon was given ten years without parole for his
latest crime. After 2 years in jail, he managed to escape.
His escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news.
Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking
little traveled routes, running across deserted fields and
taking every precaution he could think of.
Eventually he arrived at his house and he rang the bell.
His wife opened the door and bellowed at him, "You good-for-
nothing bum! Where the heck have ya been? You escaped over
12 hours ago."
-<>-
My husband seems to feel one should get their money's worth
on vacation. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to frolic every
minute or not. But once when I was sitting in a beach chair
on the sand, he came out of the surf and said, "This is
costing us $300 a day - and you sit there reading a book!"
-<>-
Dobbins lost his eye in an accident and couldn't afford the
price of a glass eye. So he carved one out of wood. But he
was so self-conscious that he never left the house.
Finally, his friend Eddy came over and forced him to go out.
"There's a dance over at the club," he said. "So what if one
of your eyes is made out of wood?"
"All right," said Dobbins, "but if anybody makes fun of my
eye I'm leaving."
He went to the dance and stood around, trying to build up his
courage. And then he saw a woman standing alone in the corner.
She was very attractive, but she had a hunchback.
"She's worse off than me," Dobbins thought. "The least I can
do is ask her to dance.
He walked across the crowded dance floor and approached the
girl. "Would you care to dance?" he asked.
"Would I?!" she exclaimed.
"That does it," he shouted, "Hunchback! Hunchback!"
=================================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit:
Roller Coasters
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coaster.html
Car Show
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carshow.html
VOLKNER MOBIL RV!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rv.html
Buy A Dog
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buyadog.html
God Is Like
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/godislike.html
-<>-
>From TheMouth:
BUG REVIEW
http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/bugreview/index.html
AINT IT COOL NEWS
http://www.aintitcool.com/
HORSESHOE PIT
http://www.horseshoepitching.com/start.html
-<>-
>-->From LynnLynns Links
Diabetes Life
http://www.dlife.com/dLife/do/ShowContent
Kelly Miller Circus
http://www.kellymillercircus.com/
World Clock
http://www.chippynews.com/worldclock.htm
Alberta Oil Sands
http://www.energy.gov.ab.ca/OilSands/oilsands.asp
Weddings Aren't Always Perfect
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/062715.htm
Unpleasant Surprise While Refueling
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/062716.htm
Can't Frown
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21717.htm
P.B.U
http://www.buffaloschips.com/50237.htm
Oy Vey
http://www.buffaloschips.com/50235.htm
To subscribe send a blank email to
lynnlynns-links-subscribe@egroups.com
==============================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"They've just released a study that says in the next 30
years, there is a 97 percent chance that Southern California
will have an earthquake of magnitude 6.7 or greater. And
there's a 40 percent chance of either being run over or
attacked by Britney Spears. Things are pretty bleak."
-Jimmy Kimmel
"According to a new study, polar bears will probably be ex-
tinct by the year 2050. So enjoy eating them while you can."
-Dave Letterman
"John McCain apologized today after admitting some of the
McCain family recipes posted on his Web site were actually
plagiarized from the Food Network. How many different
recipes can there be for prunes and creamed corn!"
- Craig Ferguson
"The Pope arrived in Washington D.C. today. Of course, he
flew Virgin Atlantic. He almost wasn't allowed on the
aircraft because he tried to bring on more than 3 ounces
of holy water."
- David Letterman
"I was at Starbucks today and had the new Barack Obama
Roast. Have you had this? Tasted kind of bitter."
- Jay Leno
"The legendary Ferris Wheel from Santa Monica Pier has just
been put on e-Bay. On sale to the highest bidder. If you're
not from the L.A. area, the Santa Monica Ferris Wheel is an
L.A. institution. Like the Hollywood sign, the Chinese
Theater, or rehab." -Craig Ferguson
"In Florida, two 55-year-old women were arrested for robbing
banks while dressed as ninjas. If they're convicted the women
could be given 10 years in prison and a Lifetime movie of the
week." -Conan O'Brien
"Former presidential candidate John Edwards announced this
week he will not accept the nomination for vice president.
That's what he said. He will not accept the vice presidential
nomination. To which the cashier at Wendy's said, 'You want
a frosty with this, mister? People are waiting.'" -Jay Leno
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - YabbaDabbaDoo! :) Shangy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales &&& Service
You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair.
We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with
all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806
************************************************************************
-->This is for all you who love food anddd DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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>TO SUBSCRIBE:
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For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to
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