Blondes, Campfire, Parrot, Wine, And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our ShangyFunList: Group Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: bcrsystems@earthlink.net Shangrala Family Fun: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! ================ __ __ ,-' `' \ _---``-- / _ _ ; __ `. / / `' \; /`----- ) / .-/ ,( ), \-. ; | \( \ / )/; | - _5 `7 -; / ( ___-' `-____ | ( ___`-_ \ ____| \ / `,/ \ _(\__ / \ \ ; \ .' /' `i. / | | \ _-'( _\__-/ `- | | ` ,` `_ | BP * Don't forget to follow us on social media for our latest updates and uproarious funny and inspiring pages! On Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y8dcm8x7 On Twitter: http://tinyurl.com/n5uf3dxv ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) . . . . ,-,--. __| //``-, \ \_`\ )\a-a-? \ \ \_`(_=_/_-`__ \__, , \| | _ _,' ___7 ) | (_)(_`__(_,---' | ( _( ) | / /_| |________| __/__/__|__|_________) _________(__,_|)/ (__)|/____\(_______________ mic I am very pleased to announced we have two returning sponsors for the website www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com. HowToCook.recipes provides ways to make delicious and nutritious meals without processed junk that you and/or your kids will actually eat! Simple recipes, simple and pure ingredients, and a whole lot of fun in every one, they’ve all been tested and re-tested over and over to make sure you have something to go with your heaping side of love! ___ /| |||| .-"` `"-. } | __ |||| |||| .' .-'`'-. '. } | / \ |||| \ / / .' '. \ } | ;(); \ / || / ; ; \ \| \ / || || | ; ; | || || %% %% | ; ; | %% %% %% %% \ ; ; / %% %% %% %% \ '. .' / %% %% %% %% '. `-.,.-' .' %% %% jgs %% %% '-.,___,.-' %% %% For Nutritious home-cooked meals you can trust AND the PERFECT Baked Potato Recipe, visit them here... HowToCook.recipes https://www.howtocook.recipes/the-perfect-baked-potato-recipe/ Our second company is great if you are seeking a lawyer and/or legal information About DUI and OVI in the State of Ohio: Check out these two great resources... Columbus Ohio OVI and DUI Law Resource https://www.findlaw.com/dui/laws-resources/ohio-ovi-dui-laws.html Operating a Vehicle Under the Influence in Ohio https://www.criminalattorneycolumbus.com/drunk-driving-dui-ovi/ Be sure to check these out! ..::''''::.. .:::. .;'' ``;. .... ::::: :: :: :: :: ,;' .;: () ..: `:::' :: :: :: :: ::. ..:,:;.,:;. . :: .::::. `:' :: .:' :: :: `:. :: '''::, :: :: :: `:: :: ;: .:: : :: : : :: ,:'; ::; :: :: :: :: :: ::,::''. . :: `:. .:' :: `:,,,,;;' ,;; ,;;, ;;, ,;;, ,;;, `:,,,,:' :;: `;..``::::''..;' ``::,,,,::'' You can always be assured that I only go with the best for you! :) Why? Because I care about you! :) (¯`v´¯) `*.¸.*´ ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. Huggums!... :) Shangy! -<>- >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our too hot to handle new page is from our friends KarenF and PatDeE. This one is astonishing. Many people say there are no coincidences - that everything happens for a reason. This one is all about jaw-dropping coincidences that you know were not done by some random fluke happening by chance. Be sure to give this and its most interesting video a little time and check it out here... * _| __ (__ Question _) | * jgs What Are The Odds? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whatodds.html --- ...Wow! Love it! Thanks my friends! Our sizzling hot new page is from our friends Linda and Vivian. This page shows you what can happen when humans are not involved in the finished product. The electronic computer brain has no idea that what it is displaying is not correct. Instead, it displays messed up images just as if they are the real McCoy. Check this one out to get some Smiles for your day: .-'';'-. ,' <_,-.`. /) ,--,_>\_\ |' ( \_ | |_ `-. / | \`-. ; _(`/ `.( \/ ,' hjw `-....-' Google Earth Goes Awry! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gearth.html --- ...TeeHee! Too funny! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================== >-->From AJokeADay: . __ ' . ' . * _-~ ~-_ . ' . . . /___ ___\ ' . . / (O) (o) \ * ___ * . __,-~-~-,/ -..- \ .-~~-. __..-~~ ~~-.._ .-~ `V~V~V'`\ -v----v- \/ /.-~ //.. \ \. `~-._ //. \.' `\..___..---/ /'' . ' . .. ''/ \\..' \' V~V~V' // / ' . ' / \ . ' \\\ \ \ . ' / . / ' . / <> \ '. . ' . / ../ ' ( Oh My, Harvey! ) // ' ../ <> / .'\ \' ''.\ \ /. //. \ ( You don't think ) ________________ ( it can read, ) //' / __ _ _____ \ ..' \ \ './ \'\ ( do you? ) | |__ /_\ | | .. \ \\ //' . | |__ / \ | | '. \.. ___...---..._____..--~~\\..____..-\________________/..__ \\ || . . . . . ` ______________||_________. . |_____________________| ' . ~ | | | | | | . . . .. |____|____|_____|==|__| |____|____|_____|__|__| jro __________________________________ ' . / / . ~ / / 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her." -<>- When I was in college, I was really into this girl named Greta, but I was shy back then and not at all assertive. The girl and two of her friends were going to a nerdy Halloween party and decided to go as the first digits of pi (3.14). They needed someone to be the decimal, and I volunteered thinking it would give me a chance to talk to Greta. I was really excited until I got there and realized that she was the 4, which meant there was someone between us all night. I was miserable, barely spoke to anyone, and went home alone. Thing is, the whole reason I went to the party was that I really thought she was the one. -<>- o8Oo./ ._o8o8o8Oo_. \========/ `------' hjw I started a new workout routine this week, doing crunches twice a day... I do Cap'n in the morning and Nestle's in the afternoon. -<>- Two farmers, a bit hard of hearing were talking. Frank: Are you going to Adrian's today? Joe: No, I’m going to Adrian's. Frank: Oh, my bad. I thought you were going to Adrian's today. -<>- Girl: Were you named after your father? Boy: No. Girl: You were named BEFORE your father? -<>- A Native American gentleman was at the local home improvement store purchasing a few bags of gardening soil. As he waited in line to pay for his bags of dirt, a guy behind him spoke to him. "You gonna do some planting?" The Native American man turned to him and, with a very serious face, said, "No, I am buying my land back one bag at a time and I am getting a receipt this time." The shocked look on the guy's face was priceless. -<>- _.-'`'-._ .-' _ '-. `-.__ `\_.-' | `-``\| jgs `-.....-A # # >Thoughts Of The Day * It Means "Summer's End" Before it was known as Halloween, there was the Celtic festival of Samhain, which means 'Summer's End'. * I Wanted To Be Someone “When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific." - Lily Tomlin _ (=> HaaHaHa _c==] ~ \ |_ TTTT ___________O+-/x\_ __| || |_____________________ / ____ ___ _____ _____ _ __ __ ___ ___ | _ \ / _ \_ _| ___| | | \/ |/ _ \ / _ \ | |_) | | | || | | |_ | | | |\/| | |_| | | | | | _ <| |_| || | | _| | |___| | | | _ | |_| | |_| \_\\___/ |_| |_| |_____|_| |_|_| |_|\___/ cww * Most Wasted of Days The most wasted of days is one without laughter." - E.E. Cummings ======================================================== +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ October 21 is Babbling Day, Count Your Buttons Day, International Nacho Day and Pumpkin Cheesecake Day October 22 is National Nut Day, National Color Day and Smart is Cool Day October 23 is National Mole Day International Snow Leopard Day and TV Talk Show Host Day October 24 is National Bologna Day, National Food Day and United Nations Day October 25 is Frankenstein Friday, Howl at the Moon Night, International Artist Day, Punk for a Day Day, World Opera Day and World Pasta Day October 26 is Make a Difference Day, National Mincemeat Day and National Pumpkin Day October 27 is Black Cat Day, Mother-In-Law Day, National Tell a Story Day and Navy Day ======================================================== >-->From Mikey'sFunnies: .-'"`/\ // /' /\`\ ('//.-'/`-.; \ \ / /-. __.__.___..__._.___.\\ \\----,_ .:{@&#,&#@&,@&#&&,#&@#&@&\\` \-. .-'-. .:{@#@,#@&#,@#&&#,@&#&@&,&@#&&\\, -._,"- \ .{#@#&@#@#&#&@&#@#@&#,@#@#&@&&#@#\ \// = \`=\__ `{#@,@#&@&,@&#@,#@&#@#&@#&@,&#@,#/\/ =`-. -_=__ `:{@#&@&#@&#@&#@,#&&#@&,@#/.' / / "/.-', / `:{@#&,#&@#,@&#&@&,@&#/.-// //-'-_= ",/ jgs `~`~~`~~~`~`~`~~`~( / , /__,___.-" \ \\/ `\\\' It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Awe, come on," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, how is he?" "He's not feeling too well, he's a little under the wagon." -<>- Cleaning house with children at home is a lot like snow blowing during a blizzard. -<>- We had built our dream house some years ago, and furnished it with quality pieces as we could afford them. Now the delivery truck carrying the last purchase, a new bedroom suite, was pulling into the driveway. "Finally!" I exclaimed, flinging open the front door as the driver walked up to the house. "I've been waiting twelve years for this!" "Don't blame me, lady," he said. "I just got the order this morning." -<>- .-. _ ( `. .' ) `\ ` .' | | | | | 66|_ | ,__) |(,_| | | | \_, | | | | .' \ ( , ) jgs '--' '-' Go out there and be the surprise onion ring in someone's french fries today. -<>- A woman isn't feeling well and goes into Urgent Care: Nurse: "have you experienced a sudden loss of taste?" Patient: "No, I've always dressed this way." -<>- Children are like pancakes. The first one always comes out a little weird. -<>- Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?" Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc." Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order." Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me." -<>- Ate a box of Girl Scouts' Thin Mints cookies. Didn't get thinner. I don't think they work. -<>- The student asked the professor how many problems there would be on the final exam. The professor looked the student over and replied, "I think you will have lots of problems on the final." -<>- A few puns make me numb, but math puns make me number. ======================================================== >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) .-""""-. |== ==|-. |~~ ~~~|`\\ |LILILI| || | |// | |/ | | jgs __|______|__ [____________] >SMILES A blonde pulls over at the gas station, gets out of her car, opens the hood, and checks the engine oil. After a few seconds of intelligent thinking, she takes the dipstick in her hand and, raising her chest high, walks up to the attendant. "Excuse me sir, but can I buy a longer dipstick?" "May I ask why you need a longer one ma'am?" "Because this one isn't long enough to reach the oil!" ------------ Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running? Stick your foot out and trip it up! ------------ ,,~~--___---, / .~, / _,~ ) (_-(~) ~, ),,,( /' Z6 .~`' || \ | /_,/ || || ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~W`~~~~~~W`~~~~~~~~~ valkyrie The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" "Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.'" ------------ A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am." ------------- A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was just about to finish, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL"!" ------------ . ,. T."-._..---.._,-"/| l|"-. _.v._ (" | [l /.'_ \; _~"-.`-t Y " _(o} _{o)._ ^.| j T ,--. T ] \ l ( /-^-\ ) ! ! \. \. "~" ./ /c-..,__ ^r- .._ .- .-" `- . ~"--. > \. \ ] ^. \ 3 . "> . Y -Row ,.__.--._ _j \ ~ . ; | ( ~"-._~"^._\ ^. ^._ I . l "-._ ___ ~"-,_7 .Z-._ 7" Y ; \ _ /" "~-(r r _/_--._~-/ / /,.--^-._ / Y "-._ '"~~~>-._~]>--^---./____,.^~ ^.^ ! ~--._ ' Y---. \./ ~~--._ l_ ) \ ~-._~~~---._,____..--- \ ~----"~ \ \ I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days. ------------ A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night's special is almond chicken and fresh fish. "The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," the woman says. The waiter nods. "And for the vegetable?" he asks. "Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies. ------------ When the bookie asked the veteran horse player the secret of his consistent success, the gambler provided a simple explanation. "I'm just lucky, I guess. I turn to the racing page, close my eyes and stick a pin in it," he said. "Lucky!" the bookie exclaimed in disbelief. "But how did you pick this four-horse combination?" "Well," the gambler admitted, "I didn't have a pin, so I used a fork." ------------- ...eeec..eeeee.. .eP"" ^ ""d""""""***ec..... .zr*e. .e*" ..e=e.r . .e *" ""*c z* .e* .ze*"" .e*"" $F ^$. $*" "$. $ 4F ..e*" .e*" e$b "b .P" ^* ". ^**""" ..e@*" .$e $- 4F *.e "**ee**"" $" .ee==*****"" "b .e@*"*c ^*$. *r $^* E $. "*e """"$. ^*e. *e $. . Jc *c....$ *c....* **ecd* 3""*e. ^* *----------------------------------------------- : $ ^b * *be ,ggg, ,ggg,_,ggg, P....'c. "b /' $$ dP""Y8dP""Y88P""Y8b $ $.$ ezP* Yb, `88' `88' `88 % : `" 88 88 88 gg gg '. 4 88 88 88 "" "" * ' 88 88 88 ,ggg, ,gg, ,gg gg ,gggg, ,ggr* $ 88 88 88 i8" "8i P""8b,dP" 88 gdP" "YbgdP" e...$ 88 88 88 I8baaP' ,88" 88 I8' I8' ,8I 88 88 Y8,Y8,_ ,dP"Y8, 88,_Y8,_ _Y8, ,d8' 88 88 `Y8`"Y8888PdP" "Y8 "Y88 "Y8888PP`Y8888P" *-----------------------------------------------------------------* unknown Three Alabama boys go down to Mexico one night and get drunk and wake up in jail. They found out that they are to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am from the Samford School of Divinity and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens, so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and they let him go. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. "I am from the University of Alabama School of Law and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." The switch is thrown and again nothing happens. They figure that the law is on this guy's side and let him go. The last one is strapped in and says, "Well I'm an Auburn University Electrical Engineer, and I'll tell you right now you'll never electrocute anybody if you don't connect those two wires." --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- Seem to be or not seem to be.... \ ,,,,,, /e ''( (_ ` \ ___> \ / ,_\-.___ \_ / _)/ / \ | \ / ` _ | __\____/ / ' | / _ /______/ / _/ \,_____/o ( \__)/` \ / \__________/_/_ _/ \ \ )/ \ / / | /\ ( \_____/ ___/ \ \ _/ \ ______/_/___|_| ) \ / / o\ o\ / / /\ b'ger,,,'-----^--',,,,,,',,|_,,\_ ,,\/,, >THINGS TO THINK ABOUT The early bird still has to eat worms I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them. Don't argue with an idiot, people watching may not be able to tell the difference. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said. Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. --- ...Argh! It Figures! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================== >-->From HandyHints: Campfire and Bonfire Safety: ( ,&&&. ) .,.&& ( ( \=__/ ) ,'-'. ( ( ,, _.__|/ /| ) /\ -((------((_|___/ | ( // | (`' (( `'--| _ -.;_/ \\--._ \\ \-._/. (_;-// | \ \-'.\ <_,\_\`--'| ( `.__ _ ___,') <_,-'__,' jrei `'(_ )_)(_)_)' Tips to Keep Your Fire Under Control Campfires and bonfires are a source of warmth, light, and social gathering in outdoor settings, whether you're camping, spending time with friends in the backyard, or hosting a fall event. However, both activities come with inherent risks that can lead to wildfires, personal injury, and property damage if not handled responsibly. With the right precautions, you can safely enjoy the magic of a campfire or bonfire while minimizing risks to yourself, others, and the environment. Here's an in-depth guide on how to safely build, maintain, and extinguish campfires and bonfires. >Choosing the Right Location The first step in fire safety is choosing the proper location. Not every spot is suitable for an open flame, and your fire location will dictate how safe your experience is. * Campfire Safety When you're out camping, always use designated fire pits if available. Most campgrounds provide fire rings, grills, or fire pits in their campsites. These are designed to contain the fire and reduce the risk of it spreading. If no fire pit is available, choose a spot far from overhanging branches, dry grass, or anything that could catch fire. Your campfire should be at least 15 feet away from tents, vehicles, and any other camping gear. * Backyard Bonfire Safety In your backyard, the rules are similar. Your fire should be built far away from buildings, fences, trees, and other structures. Many local governments have regulations on where and when you can start a bonfire, so be sure to check with your municipality or county for any restrictions. Some areas might have burn bans in place during dry seasons or times of high fire danger, and these should always be respected to prevent accidental wildfires. >Preparing the Fire Site Once you've chosen a location, proper preparation is crucial to building a fire that is easy to control. * Clear the area: For campfires, clear at least a 10-foot radius around the fire pit of anything flammable, such as leaves, sticks, and dry vegetation. For larger bonfires, clear an area with at least a 20-foot radius. Ensure that there is no dry grass or debris in this zone. * Contain the fire: If there is no existing fire ring, build a fire ring using large rocks or dig a small pit about 6 inches deep to keep the fire contained. For backyard bonfires, a metal fire ring or steel drum can help contain the flames, preventing them from spreading to surrounding areas. * Have water and tools nearby: Always keep a bucket of water, a hose, or a fire extinguisher nearby in case the fire starts to get out of control. A shovel or rake can also be helpful to quickly smother flames or clear away debris. Visit Here For This Full Article: https://tinyurl.com/yzksj5pz ======================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: President Donald J. Trump https://www.donaldjtrump.com/ Trump Accomplishments https://tinyurl.com/4nj5646c Tucker Carlson On Rumble https://rumble.com/c/TuckerCarlson Latest Lifezette News https://www.lifezette.com/ Latest Eric Bolling: https://ericbolling.com/ Latest From Hannity: https://hannity.com/ Latest From American Action News: https://americanactionnews.com/ Latest From Reliable News: https://reliablenewsnow.com/ Latest From Newsmax: https://www.newsmax.com/ Latest From Expose: https://expose-news.com/ Latest From Billings Report: https://billingsreport.com/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://greatergood.com/clicktogive/ggc/home -<>- >From Archives BizarreNews: Here's a fun way to spend a weekend. A Maryland theme park is challenging couples to spend 30 hours together in an unusual tight space for the "30-Hour Coffin Challenge." The competition, part of Six Flags America's Fright Fest 2019, will see six "couples of any sort" -- romantic pairs, family members or friends -- spending 30 hours in a coffin together from 4 p.m. Sept. 27 until 10 p.m. Sept. 28. The couples will be allowed to have a friend nearby during park hours, but they will be alone when the park is closed -- that is, alone save for some "Fright Fest ghouls" who "will be lurking about in the darkness." The participants will not be allowed to use their smartphones or other electronic devices except "during designated break times." "Anyone who gets out of their coffin for any reason, with the exception of the designated bathroom and meal breaks, will be automatically disqualified and not eligible to win the contest," the park said. The couple remaining at the end of the 30 hour challenge will receive $600, a pair of 2020 Gold Season Passes and a "Fright Fest Prize package." "Participants will potentially be exposed to fog, dramatic lighting, flash photography and extreme weather conditions," officials said. *--- This Kid Couldn't Wait To Go to School ---* A teacher who went into labor at a Colorado middle school ended up delivering her baby on the sidewalk in front of the school. Lindsay Agbalokwu said she wasn't due until Sept. 17, so she thought a contraction she felt early Tuesday morning was a false alarm. Agbalokwu went to DSST: Conservatory Green in the Stapleton neighborhood of Denver, where she works as a sixth-grade reading teacher. The teacher presented an award at an assembly before realizing she needed to get to a hospital. "Then all of a sudden, it was just so much pressure and pain, I was like, 'I think she's coming now! I think we need to just call 911,'" Agbalokwu said. Marissa Kast, a seventh-grade reading teacher, put a sleeping bag down on the sidewalk in front of the school and principal Natalie Lewis and dean Chris Earls handled the delivery until firefighters arrived to finish the job. The baby, Zara, was born at 8 lbs, 6 oz. *--- Trash Pandas Get Wrecked on Rotten Fruit ---* Residents of an Ontario neighborhood captured photos and videos of some unusually behaving raccoons that experts said were likely drunk from eating fermented fruit. Emily Rodgers said she arrived home to find a raccoon stumbling around oddly in her back yard in the Stittsville area of Ottawa. "He couldn't really move. He was dragging his legs, he was wobbling, having a hard time standing up. You could tell something was wrong with him for sure," Rodgers said. Another area resident, Julie Fong, said a bylaw officer came to her door asking to go into her back yard to look for a raccoon spotted in the area that witnesses said appeared intoxicated. "So that's why this guy was kind of sleeping it off under our deck," Fong said. Michael Runtz, a biology professor at Carleton University, said the raccoons are likely getting drunk off fermented fruit. "It's possible that some of the fruit is fermenting under the heat, and that these guys are getting a bit tipsy by eating that fermenting fruit," he said. Runtz said the best thing to do is to leave the raccoons to sober up on their own. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) .-----------------------===------------------------. :o ______________________________________________ o: ; : : ; `. `. .' .' : : : : `. `. .' .' : : : : `. `. .' .' : : : : `. `. .' .' : : : : `. `. .' .' : :__________________________________: : `. iBook .' '-------------| |-----| |--------------' .""""""""""""""| |"""""| |"""""""""""""". | () '-----------' o () | | ___________________________________ | | :__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__: | | |___|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|_| | | |__|_|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|___| | | |___|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|____| | | |____|__|__|__|__|__|__|___|__|__|__| | | :___|__|___________________|__|__|__: | | | | .-------------. | | | | | | | | | | |_____________| | | | | | | | | | | '.___________.' | | ___ |grp '-----------------------------------------' >I-Technology It all began with an iPhone... April was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't? I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. Our daughter's birthday was in September so we got her an iPod Touch. My wife celebrated her birthday in October so I got her an iRon. It was around then that the fight started.. What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service. I should be out of the hospital next week! . . . . . . . iHurt --- ...LMAO! Great! Thanks Linda! ========================================================= , __ _.-"` `'-. /||\'._ __{}_( |||| |'--.__\ | L.( ^_\^ \ .-' | _ | | | )\___/ | \-'`:._] jgs \__/; '-. >-->From Virginia Fraternal Order Of Police Associates: As I’m getting into my cruiser this afternoon I hear Officer John Metzo tell dispatch that he’s out on a call that he was dispatched to. “Good luck" was her reply. “Good luck?" I say. "That's weird" My interest piqued, I open the call screen. The call location is Root Rd. Just North of Lorain Rd. “A cow fell out of a truck" Wait. What? I’m enroute. I am soooo enroute. _(__)_ V '-e e -'__,--.__) (o_o) ) \. /___. | ||| _)/_)/ gnv//_(/_(/_( I arrive on scene and this is exactly as reported. Apparently a truck was pulling a trailer and the back door popped open and out came said cow. Unscathed, and making a concerted effort at freedom. Officer Ryan Jones is now there and they are trying to corral the fastest cow I’ve ever seen, though in fairness, my experience with cows is quite limited. We go left, he goes right. We go right, he goes left. He manages to get across Root Rd with three cruisers trying to corral him before he fights a Subaru. We chase him straight into the open garage of Worcester’s. End game. As we’re congratulating ourselves on being cowboys, he runs out of the open back door. Son of a.... Back in pursuit. He runs to the embankment of SR 10, finds the only hole in the perimeter fence, and heads for the highway. Bad. Very bad. Ryan has a decision to make, and he chooses ninja warrior over the other. He sprints up the embankment, heads him off, and talks him out of being murdered by a semi. Long story short, we are able to corral him while driving our trusty steeds... well, Police Interceptors, through a really nice and understanding farmer’s soybean field. (Sorry again) The owner shows up and immediately lets two more cows loose, which seems like an absolutely horrible idea, though again reference our lack of cow herding education. Turns out, it totally worked. Our fugitive cow runs over to the other two. After some negotiation, they convince him to get back in the trailer before things get worse. While we’re talking about how we absolutely couldn’t get a rope on this cow the owner lets us in on the cow’s name. No joke. I swear to you this is his name. .-. ## ) * _.-+*'`*+-._ ,## _ _ #. ;### ((.;;.)) ##: .=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=, >##; *-')_@@_(`-* ;###< ---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l `-""-' Moodini. I literally could not have made that up if I wanted to and it is absolutely fitting. Anyway, Moodini is back where he belongs. Nothing is hurt, cars, cows, or people, and the citizens can once again sleep peacefully knowing they will not be trampled to death by a cow while checking their mail. All in a days work. Rest easy citizens. Rest easy. Edit: Apparently this is a boy? I don't know. We admittedly failed cow class in the academy. --- / \__ ( @\___ / O / (_____/ /_____/ U ...Reminds me of My daughter had a pitbull/boxer mix dog. There was time we had to keep him outside in a large pen. She called him Sladedini because he was all the time figuring on a way to get out of the pen. She finally had to use a chain attached to a doghouse inside of the pen. It was the only way to keep him safe! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaughs: __ __------ __/o `\ ,~ _~~ . .. pb. .. ~ -. ,' _~----- `\ ~~~--_'__ `~-==-~~~~~---' "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire." -<>- Luckily for me, the CD carrying case I just bought came with meticulous instructions. "The CD unit," read the directions, "automatically becomes portable when carried." -<>- Before rushing to work, I prepared a casserole for that evening's dinner and put it in the fridge. As I turned to leave, I told my son to stick it in the oven when he got home from school. "Make sure to put it in at 350," I said. "Sorry, can't," he replied. "I don't get home until quarter after four." [Borrowed from Reader's Digest.] -<>- "So, how did you do?" the boss asked his new salesman after his first day on the road. "All I got were two orders." "What were they? Anything good?" "Nope," the salesman replied. "They were 'Get out!' and 'Stay out!" -<>- \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ Mike Hertz A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked. "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved." -<>- "We can stay out late tonight," Joe told his friend Brad. "My wife's gone for a two-week vacation in the Caribbean." "Jamaica?" Brad asked. "No, it was her idea." -<>- Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular. "When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!" Then Grandpa said sadly, "You can't DO that anymore... they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look." -<>- /\ __ \ .-':::. \ :::::|\ |,\:::'/ \ `.:::-' \ `-. \ ___ `-. | .-'';:::. `-.-' / ',''.;;;\ | ','','.''| |\ ' ,',' /' `.`-.___.-;' `--._.-' AsH >Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Buying Burger King's New Meat'Normous Sandwich... 10. "How dangerous is four-digit cholesterol?" 9. "Am I comfortable using the word, 'meat'normous'?" 8. "Do I have $4.99 and a death wish?" 7. "Is that bigger than meat'gantic?" 6. "Does a massive coronary qualify as 'having it my way'?" 5. "Is this gonna spoil my breakfast dessert?" 4. "Should I ask my doctor about Lipitor?" 3. "Why do I have to sign a waiver?" 2. "Can I get it with egg whites?" 1. "Did Cheney like it?" [Courtesy of the Late Show with David Letterman] ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) ,,,,, \ e e\ C _\/ |\\, )\_) \_ / _/|/_ _// ,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ / \_/ / / , | \_._,-" ( < _' | \ \ ', -',-~.-' _/ ) | |// | ' ' ) | | | | ._., - |.,_ // _\-' )___|__|_ '-._ b'ger /____\__\ >Now that I'm older... here's what I've discovered: 1) I STARTED out with nothing....I still have most of it. 2) I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. 3) Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 4) If all is not lost, where is it? 5) It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.. 6) I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through. 7) It was all so different before everything changed. 8) I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few... 9) It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end. 10) It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 11) The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. --- ...LOL! So true! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: .. |_C ,~ |\_ ~/(\ | /| ~~~______~// ` |\-/ |===(=)===|(_|_ /((+ )| |/\_ _/ \ -' / ejm98 >Just Think About This! * When the first calendar was produced in 1640, everyone knew its days were numbered. * A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. * I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. -Henny Youngman * If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights. * LISP: To call a spade a thpade. * If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark. * "Always borrow from a pessimist - they never expect it back anyway." * "Never put a question mark where God put a period." -JOHN R. RICE. * "The amounts of sleep needed by the average person is usually ten minutes more." * My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time. * The US Mint will press 650 million Helen Keller quarters that refer to her 'Bammy roots. (AP) ...Including a special inscription for Alabamans that say "Four of these make a dollar." -<>- >Scales Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "What's it for?" one asked. "I don't know," the other replied. "I think you stand on it and it makes you mad. At least it does that for my Mom and Dad." -<>- + (|) _____.___.|_|. | / \ |===| | / \ | o | |__/__v__\|, ,| | | | | | || || |/| . . . |','| ||| A A A | , | ||| M M M | | wtx --------------------- >Susie's Sunday School Lesson One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. Her daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilts." Needless to say, Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the Pastor stopped by for tea. Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said, "Be not afraid, Thy comforter is coming." -<>- . | \/| (\ _ ) )|/| (/ _----. /.'.' .-._________.. .' @ _\ .' '.._______. '. / (_| .') '._____. / '-/ | _.' '.______ ( ) ) \ '..____ '._ ) ) .' __.--\ , , // (( '.' mrf| \/ (_.'( ' \ .' \ ( \ '. \ \ '.) '-'-' >Veterinarian's Bill Explained An old woman took a very limp parrot into a vet's office. As she placed her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, but Polly has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." __ /\/'-, ,--''''' /" ____,'. ) \___ '"""""------'"""`-----' pb The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. ._ .-' `-. .-' \ ; .-'\ ; `._.' ; | | | ; : ; : ; : / / ; : , ; | .-"7| .-'" : .-' .' : .-' \ .' .' `. .' `-. ""-.-'`"" `",`-._..--"7 ; . `-.J `-, ;"`.;|,_, ; _.' | `"" `. ."""--. o \:.-. _.' ."" : ,--`; , `--/}o,' ; ; .___.' / ,--.`-. `-..7_.- /_ \ : `..__.._; .'__; `---..__.-'-.`"-, .' `--. | \_; \' `-._.-") \\ `-, `. -.`_): `. `-"""`. ;__.' ;/ ; " `-.__7" `-..._.'`7 -._;' ``"-'' `--.,__.' fsc The vet patted the dog and took it out, but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back, shook its head, meowed and ran out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, your parrot is definitely 100% certifiably... dead." He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the old lady. The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$500!, she cried, $500 just to tell me that my bird is dead!?" The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only have been $60, but what with the Lab report and the Cat scan..." -<>- _|_ | _|_ //_/\ __| ||____ ////////////\ /////////////\\ |^^^^^^^^^^||+| | # # # |||| .... ....". ||||||||||||||||| unknown >For Real Church Bulletin Bloopers" (Edited By Andy... They were really that bad... and they were church's bulletins too! OUCH!!) * For their annual fund raiser, the Ladies Auxiliary will again have their annual dumbo supper. On the menu will be salad (vegetable or fruit), bread (French or crackers), desserts (pie, cake, or cookies), soft drinks (tea or coke), and of course gumbo. This year, you will be delighted with the seafood gumbo featuring shremp and crap claws. * Pray for Joe Kirby's father, who is in the hospital? for God's blessings. Request his healing power for pneumonia and his enema. [anemia] * Among the most needed items for Vacation Bible School are plastic glasses and wooden bowels. * Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All." * Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. * The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the BS is over. * The visiting monster today is Reverand Jack Bains. * The Mens Bible Study group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, green beings, mashed potatoes, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel. * The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge -- Up Yours!" -<>- | --====|====-- | .-"""""-. .'_________'. /_/_|__|__|_\_\ ;'-._ _.-'; ,--------------------| `-. .-' |--------------------, ``""--..__ ___ ; ' ; ___ __..--""`` jgs `"-// \\.._\ /_..// \\-"` \\_// '._ _.' \\_// `"` ``---`` `"` >Cajun Airlines Co. Pierre and Boudreaux were flying Cajun Airlines. Boudreaux was flying da plane and Pierre was in da back foolin wit da cargo equipment an stuff. Da plane hit some turbulance an started bouncing around and Boudreaux got knock unconscience. Then da plane started driftin. Pierre him come run up to da front an Boudreaux was sprawl out over da steerin wheel. Well, Pierre don't know notin bout flyin an he start to get panaky. He grab da microphone and holla "May Day! May Day! Dis is Cajun Air Line 10210. Boudreaux, him knock unconscence an I don know nutin about flyin dis plane!" "Dis is da control tower," someone answer. "Don' you worry about nutin. We gona splain how fo you to land dis plane, step by step ah gar-on-tee! Jus leave arything ta us. Fus', how high are you an what's you position?" Pierre thought a minute, den say, "I'm five foot ten an I'm all da way to da front of da plane." "No! No!" answer da tower. "What's you altitude an where's you location?" Pierre say, "Man ah got a po attitude, an I'm from Thibodeaux!" "No! No! No!" came an exasperated voice. "Ah needs to know how many feet you got off da ground an how you plane's in relation to da airport!" Pierre start to panic by dis time. He say, "Countin Boudreaux's an mine we got four feet off da ground an I don't believe dis plane's related to you airport!" A long pause --- "We needs to know who you next of kin is and where to send da flowers!" -<>- >Making Me Sick Last winter a male friend was laid up at home with the flu. His fiancée called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to him. He declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. "Okay honey", she told him, "Will wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the rest of our lives making each other sick!" -<>- ,-`"-=') =/////// ,== _,_(((((-`6\ ==.| /,,...\\\C _| .--. ((((\\\\\` _, /;_| )9 )))))./ `. / } _\,_ ,-'))) \ / /=-. ,-./ \/ '))) . /\_/ / \ (,-.%\ / /-' ') \/\ / ( \ (/ \ ' /( ' `-/ \( \ ,- / ( `-' \ . / / \ \ &_) /\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% | _/ _); `. ` `-. .`\ ) +++/ \ ,," %&-. ; \\| `-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._) gpyy >The Senior's Class In CPR Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well- known mannequin victim, Resuscitate-Annie, to practice. Typical of most models, this Resuscitate-Annie was only a torso, to allow for storage in a carrying case. The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked, "Are you all right?" He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She said she can't feel her legs!" -<>- >Could You Please Help Me A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card in his hand... The old man said, "Sir, could you address this post card for me?" The man gladly did so, agreeing also to write a short message and sign the card for the man. Finally, the younger man asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?" The old fellow thought about it for a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you just put, 'PS Please excuse the sloppy handwriting'" -<>- >News Release BENTONVILLE, ARK (AP) - Some Walmart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item -- Walmart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, Calif., to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $8-12 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Walmart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right name is important." _ |-| |~| |:| WINE AND CHEESE .'.'. / ::\ |_____| __ _ |:.:;.| <:__:> .-'o\ |_____| \ ::/ .o' O. o\ | ::| '..' |--o.--o--| | ;:| || |._._o_._.| \_____/ .''. '----' pjb So here we go: The top 12 suggested names for Walmart Wine: 12. Chateau Tenteau Parc 11. White Trashfindel 10. Big Red Gulp 9. Grape Expectations 8. Domaine Walmart "Merde du Pays" 7. NASCARbernet 6. Chef Boyardeaux 5. Peanut Noir 4. Chateau des Moines 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! 2. World Championship Riesling 1. Nasti Spumante ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Humorous Ads 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humorad2.html Humorous Signs 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hsigns3.html IRONIC Isn't It 2? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony2.html Jobs That Suck! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobs.html Kids Being Kids! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kids.html Life's Little Oops! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops.html Magical Tiny Snails! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snails.html Maxine On Fall! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonfall.html The REAL Mowgli! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/realmowgli.html Modern Toilet! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moderntoilet.html Most Unique Trees! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uniquetrees.html Parenting No-No's! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting.html Rarely Seen Things! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rarelyseen.html Cat Logic 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catlogic2.html Our Amazing World! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazingworld.html World's Largest Dogs! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/largestdogs.html Fall/Halloween Index! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/halloweenindex.html -<>- How to Become a Christian - How to Get Born Again / How to Get Saved / Romans 10:9 & 10 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMzblR8YDQ0 Bible https://quod.lib.umich.edu/k/kjv/ ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes we want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon." --Tim Allen "Al Gore gave a fiery speech today claiming that American democracy was in grave danger... and then his wife said 'Al, just pay the pizza guy and let's eat.'" --Jay Leno "eBay has blocked the sale of stun guns to New Yorkers. How are we now going to stop charging rats?!" --Dave Letterman "There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very, very similar." --Geoffrey Parfitt "In a recent poll, one in four people said they'd donate a kidney to a complete stranger. Yeah, sure... 90% of people won't even let a stranger merge in traffic!" --Jay Leno My friend Tom said he stopped watching golf on TV. His doctor recommended that he get more exercise. So now he watches tennis. "I failed my driver's test. The guy asked me, "What do you do at a red light?" I said, "I don't know, look around, listen to the radio" --Bill Braudis >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah, Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $35 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all web site list readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe **********************************************************************