SHANGRALA'S
TECH
HORROR
STORIES!
Welcome! Come on in! Aren't computers amazing machines? They can do lots of things. But being in the computer business for so long
we've learned that most people don't realize two downfalls of their computer.
#1: IT SUCKS. 
No - Literally, computers suck. That noise you hear when you turn your computer on is the fan inside them sucking air over the electronic boards and circuits
so the chips don't get overheated. Think of all that dust and pollutants
being drawn into your computer. A computer that has been sucking in dirt month after month
is finally brought in because for some reason it isn't running right. Open it up and we can
see why. Tons of dust particles and dirt are choking the computer so it can hardly breath
and keep from overheating!
This brings me to the second thing people don't often think about.
#2: IT ATTRACTS CRITTERS. Your computer is dark and often very warm inside. This makes it an attractive home for critters. Yes bugs.
Real bugs. We've found many computers with 
spiders and spider eggs inside. We've found crickets, grasshoppers, beetles, and lady bugs. Several harbor such nasty critters as
roaches. That is where we got the phrase 'get the bugs out'.
It wasn't referring to software errors. The old computers took up an entire room. Bugs often got into them and caused problems so they'd have to
go in with a vacuum every now and then and suck the critters out or as it became known -'get the bugs out' so the computer would function
properly again.
One time we even found a little 
mouse nest of straw. It looked like a mini barn inside! Little bits of straw all over the place.
It is for these 2 reasons we advise people to have their computers serviced
at least once a year! Good to get them cleaned and checked. After all when you are playing a game or working late at night,
you don't want to be thinking about what might come out to greet you!
Tech Horror Story #1:
A mobile user called to say that his laptop was no longer functioning.
After a lengthy phone conversation, he finally disclosed that he had
spilled an entire can of Coke on his keyboard. "He continued by telling
me that he had tried to dry it with a hair dryer, but that it still
would not boot. I asked him to send it back to me, and that I would have
it repaired." But when I opened the laptop's shipping box the very next
day, I had a bit of a shock. "The gentleman had not used a 'hair dryer,'
but must have borrowed a heat gun at one of our locations,
because all that was left of the keyboard was a cooled pool of molten black
plastic."
Tech Horror Story #2:
A Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
Tech Horror Story #3:
We had all spent the morning upgrading to our new security software on our computers. We had to all change our user names and password. Breaking for lunch is when I saw it.
A "Password List." Yes, to my horror, every user's new password along with IT and even some specific switch passwords had been printed out by a well-meaning secretary and posted in the lunchroom.
After they pried my hands from her throat, she explained that she just figured it'd be easier to post them there than to answer all the phone calls when users inevitably forgot them.
So she went around and collected them (in my name), built her list, and posted it.
Tech Horror Story #4:
An IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with it, but I squeezed it in. When it said to put in the third disk - I just can't get it in at all!"
Tech Horror Story #5:
I gave a new mouse to a friend. She called me all upset claiming the mouse was not working properly and she was in the middle of an important deadline and had no time for computer problems. I went over to see what the problem was, and asked her to show me. "You see! It goes totally in the opposite direction I want it to go. It's definitely damaged," she said. I turned the mouse 180 degrees and said: "Try it now." "Oops, that was it?" she asked surprised. Never grab a mouse by its tail or it may bite you!
Tech Horror Story #6:
P. A. Dunkin relates a situation that after a recent virus outbreak, a curious engineer
decided to crack open a sample of the virus to "see what made it tick." But instead of
doing this on a PC that wasn't connected to the LAN or even one using an operating system
immune to the virus, he did neither and promptly reinfected the entire network. Dunkin's
user had the good sense to come forward immediately.
Tech Horror Story #7:
This one won our Deepest Chuckle Award. Dave Schultz related an incident in which he tagged a note to a network laser printer informing users that if print quality suffered enough to warrant a toner cartridge replacement, they should first "shake a few times to yield a few additional copies."
Schultz was later berated because a user suffered a work-related back injury by reading the note, then picking up the entire HP LaserJet 4000 and trying to shake the printer back and forth.
Solution: Shoot the user, he's lame now, anyway.
Calling Tech Support!
This was an actual 'Printer Jam' at John Deere Seeding!...
He's not dead but he sure is stuck! For all you mouse lovers,
they did get him out and let him loose.
How'd you like to get to work and find any of these problems?
SEE ALSO: Humor With Computers!
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