Con Artists, Fishing, Tests, Blondes And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our ShangyFunList: Group Web Site: https://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: bcrsystems@earthlink.net Shangrala Family Fun: https://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! ================ __ __ ,-' `' \ _---``-- / _ _ ; __ `. / / `' \; /`----- ) / .-/ ,( ), \-. ; | \( \ / )/; | - _5 `7 -; / ( ___-' `-____ | ( ___`-_ \ ____| \ / `,/ \ _(\__ / \ \ ; \ .' /' `i. / | | \ _-'( _\__-/ `- | | ` ,` `_ | BP * Don't forget to follow us on social media for our latest updates and uproarious funny and inspiring pages! On Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y8dcm8x7 On X (Twitter): http://tinyurl.com/n5uf3dxv ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) We have a too hot to handle new page from our friend LouiseAu. This is one to give you plenty of Smiles for your day - especially if you are a Star Trek fan. Be sure to check this out for some giggles here: AMC Voyager 2 ______ 0 (_ __) .-""""-. 0 ) (___/ '. 0 ( ___ : _) (__ \ .' (______) '-....-' Funny T-Shirt Wisdom 3! https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/teeshirts3.html --- ...What A Riot! Thanks LouiseAu! Our Sizzling hot new page is from our friend Karen. This photographer lets us see the small ones in our back yard and garden. He brings them up close so we can see them in astonishing fine detail. Our hidden world comes alive! Check out his photo art work here: .-=--. .' .--. '. : : .-.'. : _ _ : : : .': : (o)o) : '. '-' .' //// fsc _'.__'--=' '-.//i' .-' / '---..____...---'' Tiny Creatures Art! https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tinycreaturesart.html --- ...Wow! Sweet! Thanks Karen! ======================================================== _____ _ _____ ____ /_ /, | ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \> | `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_ |_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$ ;-'' pb >-->From LaffGaff: >Pirate Gold I saw a pirate standing in a pile of gold on his ship that came part way up his legs. He learned that his booty was only shin deep. -<>- >Hot Jacket Q: What kind of jacket makes you hot? A: A blazer. -<>- >Candle Armor Q: What do you call a candle in armor? A: A knight light. -<>- _L/L _LT/l_L_ _LLl/L_T_lL_ _T/L _LT|L/_|__L_|_L_ _Ll/l_L_ _TL|_T/_L_|__T__|_l_ _TLl/T_l|_L_ _LL|_Tl/_|__l___L__L_|L_ _LT_L/L_|_L_l_L_ _'|_|_|T/_L_l__T _ l__|__|L_ _Tl_L|/_|__|_|__T _LlT_|_Ll/_l_ _|__[ ]__|__|_l_L_ jjs_ _LT_l_l/|__|__l_T _T_L|_|_|l/___|__ | _l__|_ |__|_T_L_ __ nn_r nn_r __ __ /l(\ /l)\ nn_r __ /\(\ __ >Pyramid Garage A newly found pyramid in Egypt actually had a garage. There’s a sign on it saying Toot and Come In. -<>- >Electrical Cables Q: Why did the two electrical cables split up? A: There was no spark between them. -<>- >Wood Cutting Competition I’m delighted to have beaten my friend in a wood cutting competition. He’s a saw loser. -<>- >Fire Types Q: What do you call a firefighter who can identify different type of fires? A: A fire distinguisher. ======================================================== +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ August 10 is Lazy Day, National S’mores Day, World Lion Day and National Spoil Your Dog Day August 11 is Presidential Joke Day, Son and Daughter Day and Mountain Day August 12 is Annual Perseid Meteor Shower, National Vinyl Record Day, World Elephant Day and IBM PC Day August 13 is Left Hander’s Day and National Filet Mignon Day August 14 is National Creamsicle Day, National Kool-Aid Day, Navajo Code Talkers Day and 14/15 V-J Day (end of WWII) August 15 is Feast of the Assumption, National Honey Bee Awareness Day, Relaxation Day, Tomatoes Galore Day, Chant at the Moon Day, I Love Cowboys and Cowgirls Day and International Homeless Animals’ Day August 16 is Roller Coaster Day, National Airborne Day and Tell a Joke Day ======================================================== >-->From Mikey'sFunnies: .;';. ';. ';..;' ' ';. ' ' .;' .;' - = .;' .;', , , :: .;'.;'.;'.;' .;' .;'.;'.;'.;' .;' AsH ';.';.';.';.;' A teacher sees a student entering the classroom, his hands are very dirty. She stopped him and said, "John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?" Smiling the boy replied, "I think I would be too polite to mention it." -<>- Finland has closed its border. No one can cross the Finnish line. -<>- A 55-year-old man who was born on May 5, had been married 5 years, had 5 children, and made $55,555.55 a year. Of course, his lucky number was 5. The man receives a phone call from a friend. The friend informs him that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening. Excitedly, the man withdraws $5,555.00 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5. Sure enough the horse comes in fifth. -<>- . . + : . : _ . ! ' (_) ,|.' - -- ---(-O-`--- -- - ,`|'`. , ! . : : " . --+-- .: . ! O!o I went to the Air and Space Museum, but there was nothing there. -<>- A young man named John applied for a salesman's job at a big department store. It was one of the biggest stores in the world - you could get anything there. The boss said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up." At the end of the next business day the boss came around and asked, "How many sales did you make today?" "One," said the young salesman. "Only one?" blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?" "Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four dollars," said John. "How did you manage that?" asked the boss. "Well, this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his car probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe version we have." The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?" "No," answered John, "he came in to buy a present for his mother- in-law, who'll come to visit on Friday, so I said to him, 'Well, since your weekend's messed up, you might as well go fishing.'" -<>- If the grass is greener on the other side, maybe there's more manure there. -<>- ____________________ / {)][o>][_o][c_][o][| |-==)| | &_____________________L ejm 96 ( ) ( ) Interviewer: What drives you? Candidate: The bus mostly. Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? Candidate: Missing the bus! -<>- My favorite childhood memory is having energy. -<>- A wife asks her husband, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?" "After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship." "If I died and you remarried," the wife asks, "would she live in this house?" "We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess she would." "If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house," the wife asks, "would she sleep in our bed?" "Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2,000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess she would." "If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?"... "Oh, no," the husband replies. "She's left-handed." -<>- __ @@;, ( ; ? : ); _| |_ | | || | | _| |_ | \ \ \/ || \/ ___ / / | __| |\ __||____||___||______/| | ||| | |_______ _________| | ||| ||| |____ | | ____| ||| Design by \ \______ ) | | / ______/ / || | | | | | /___| || Samule J. Neptune || | | |_ /| | |\ _| || || || | \__, / | | | \<__/ | || Sign in a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up." ======================================================== __.------. (__ ___ ) .)e )\ / /_.------ _/_ _/ __.' / ' `-.__ / <.--' `\ / \ \c | / / ) GoT x \ | /\ |c / \.- \ \__/ ) /( ( \ <>'\ / _/ _\- `-. \/_|_ /<> / /--/,-\ _ \ <>.`. \/`--\_._) - / `-/\ `.\ / `. / ) `\ \ \ \___/----' | / `( ___________ \ ./\_ _ \ ______________ / | ) '| __________________ | / \ \ ___________a:f / | |____.) / \ a88a\___/88888a. \_ :)8888888888888888888a. /` `-----' `Y88888888888888888 \____| `88888888888P' +------------------ Bizarre Con Artists -------------------+ In 1872, veteran prospectors Philip Arnold and John Slack bought $35,000 worth of diamonds in Europe and scattered them on land in Wyoming. They managed to convince the Bank of San Francisco they had discovered a diamond field and made $700,000. Starting in 1921, Oscar Merril Hartzell began a scam selling fake shares in the estate of Sir Francis Drake. He contacted as many families as he could find with the surname Drake and was eventually accused of defrauding 270,000 people. The hoax netted him over $2,000,000. When J. Bam Morrison arrived at Wetumka, Oklahoma in 1950, he claimed to be the advance publicity man for Bohn's United Circus, which, he maintained, was due to hit town in three weeks. He allegedly sold advertising space to local traders... for a circus that didn't exist. By forging signatures, James Addison Reavis was able to claim he was the legal owner of 17,000 square miles of Arizona. The enterprise raked in $300,000 a year until he was arrested in 1895 and he was sentenced to six years in prison. Joseph Weill, who inspired the movie "The Sting," rented aban- doned banks and convinced businessmen that he had set up a genuine bank. He waited for them to deposit large sums of mon- ey before shutting down and moving on to the next town. This, plus some of his other scams, earned him over $6,000,000. ----------- >From BizarreNews: ,__ Have I Got A Story For You! | `'. __ |`-._/_.:---`-.._ ) \='. _/..--'`__ `'-._| ( \- '-.--"` === ----/--(O)-|', ) )= ( --_ | _.' ( /_=.'-._ {=_-_ | .--`-.====* /_.' `\`'-._ '-= \ \\\\.' jgs ) _.-'`'-.. _..-\\\\ /_.' `/";';`| \` .'/ '--' -Clyde DocWatsn@aspi.net Poetic justice? Or the fish story of all time? Maybe both. 58-year-old Alan Card and his son, 32-year-old Ian Card, were on a deep sea fishing expedition in the Atlantic, 15 miles off of Bermuda. Things were just getting exciting when one member of the group hooked what felt like a huge game fish. Ian recalled being delighted with the success. Standing on the back of the boat to watch the action, his delight was short-lived when the fish changed direction and leaped out of the water. It turned out to be a 14-foot, 800 pound blue marlin. This particular species is notable for the razor-sharp spike sticking out of its nose. On a specimen this size the spike was about three feet...half of which impaled the younger Card right in the chest, carrying him overboard. Struggling for his life, Card miraculously was able to pull himself off of the violently thrashing fish and make it to the surface of the water. The senior Card told how his son surfaced with blood pumping from his wound. 'He put his hand up to his chest and his fingers disappeared,' he said. 'He had a wound about as big as your fist.' Truly, a million in one accident. His would staunched with towels, Mr. Card was rushed to the hospital, where surgeons carried out an emergency operation and yesterday he was in a stable condition. And yes, the fish got away. -Lewis =============================================================== >-->From HandyHints: _____ | D | | | | \___| _ || _______ -( (- |_'(-------) '-' | / _____,-\__..__|_____Pr59 >Toilet Cleaner Dishwasher pods and tablets are designed to break down stubborn food residue, grease, and mineral buildup. Those same cleaning agents can help loosen hard water stains and grime inside a toilet bowl. Simply flush the toilet first, then drop one dishwasher pod into the bowl. Let it dissolve for 15 to 20 minutes. If the bowl has heavy buildup, leave it for up to 30 minutes. As the pod fizzes and softens deposits, it does much of the hard work for you before you even pick up the brush. Finish with a Quick Scrub... After the pod/tablet has had time to work, use your toilet brush to scrub the bowl, paying extra attention to any stained areas under the rim and around the water line. Flush once everything is clean to rinse away any remaining residue. Finally, wipe the seat, lid, and outside of the toilet with a microfiber cloth for a polished finish. In Closing This isn't meant to replace your regular bathroom cleaner every time, but it's a fantastic shortcut when you want to freshen up the toilet without spending a lot of time scrubbing. Sometimes the best cleaning hacks are hiding in places you'd never think to look. ======================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: Birth Tourism Ended, $2 Billion+ in American Mining Deals, Private Sector Cuts Prices Across Thousands of Items, and Manufacturing at a 4-Year High: https://mailchi.mp/mail.whitehouse.gov/8-2-13573790?e=ed99bf053c President Donald J. Trump https://www.donaldjtrump.com/ TrumpRx doesn't sell medications. Instead, it connects patients directly with the best prices, increasing transparency and cutting out costly third-party markups. https://trumprx.gov/ White House Actions - 2026 https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/ Trump executive orders and actions, 2025-2026 https://tinyurl.com/musd7m3x DOGE Latest News https://doge.gov/ DOGE Latest Savings https://doge.gov/savings From The Daily Acorn: Positive News https://www.thedailyacorn.com/ Latest From Lifezette: https://www.lifezette.com/ Latest From Hannity: https://hannity.com/ Latest From American Action News: https://americanactionnews.com/ Latest From Reliable News: https://reliablenewsnow.com/ Latest From Newsmax: https://www.newsmax.com/ Latest From Expose: https://expose-news.com/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://greatergood.com/clicktogive/ggc/home -<>- >From Archives BizarreNews: When I graduated from high school, I celebrated by going downtown Chicago with a few friends for dinner and ended up at a house party in the suburbs where I drank beer and threw up. Apparently they do things a little differently in Georgia. Officials say an 18-year-old drowned just hours after graduating high school when he was tied to a shopping cart and pushed into a lake as part of a game with friends. A Georgia Department of Natural Resources spokeswoman says the body was found early Sunday morning in about 30 feet of water and he was still tied to the cart. She says in the game Saturday night, participants sat in a shopping cart that was tied to a pole. Others pushed the cart to the end of the dock so that the person sitting in it would be flung into the water. Cummings says the cart was tied to the victim instead of a pole and it pulled him under. *--- Get The State To Pay Your Rent ---* A driver who ran his car into two pedestrians walking in downtown Bothell, WA was sentenced to 14 years in prison. The driver, Eli Aldinger, pled guilty to the charges of assault in the first degree and two counts of assault in the second degree. According to court documents Aldinger admitted to intentionally striking pedestrians with his Toyota Camry at two different intersections. The assaults were a way for Aldinger to "get out of going to work," he told officers. He vocalized he was unhappy with his life of food service work and the direction his life had taken. After hitting two people in two different intersections Aldinger finally stopped when he saw police. He told the officer that he was looking forward to "spending a few years in a room." *--- Skeleton Should Have Stayed In The Closet ---* Rachel Schmidt of New Brunswick and her 11-year-old son bought a realistic-looking skeleton decoration at a local yard sale. When the skeleton didn't fit in their trunk, the two decided it would be funny if it rode in the front seat. Schmidt went to shop for groceries later in the day and left the decoration in the car. When she came back out, her car was blocked by a police cruiser as someone had apparently called out of concern for what appeared to be a body in the car. "The officer said, 'I need to inspect your vehicle,' so then it clicked: 'Oh my gosh, it was that Halloween decoration,' Schmidt said. In a statement, the Fredericton Police Force said: "Sometimes calls come in to us, and they end up being different in the end. Thankfully, this is one of these cases." ========================================================= \_/ --(_)-- . / \ /_\ |Q| .-----' '-----. __ /____[SCHOOL]___\ ())) | [] .-.-. [] | (((()) ..|____|_|_|____|..................................)(... ldb >-->From Cleanlaughs: When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up. What with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full- time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way I was going to lay that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But... Now that I've reached the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves! And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen! And then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! And there were no MP3s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to go to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or, we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up! You want to hear about hardship? We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was, it could be your boss, your Mom, a collections agent, you didn't know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids"! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died! Just like LIFE! When you went to the movie theater, there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy sat in front of you, you watched his hairstyle! And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning... D'ya hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled! You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984! -<>- Five Jewish men who influenced the history of Western civilization. Moses said the law is everything. Jesus said love is everything. Marx said capital is everything. Freud said s%x is everything. Einstein said everything is relative. -<>- I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the students: Why do people choose to have their children, rather than their siblings, inherit their estate? After students offered various theories, one fellow raised his hand. "This may be a bit off the point," he said, "but when I was little, when my brother and sister finished playing with me, they would put me into a drawer." -<>- Bad weather meant I was stuck overnight at O'Hare airport in Chicago. Along with hotel accommodations, the airline issued each passenger a $10 meal ticket, or "chit." That evening after dinner I presented my meal ticket to the cashier. "Is this chit worth $10?" I asked. Looking up nervously, the cashier responded, "I'm sorry, sir. Was the meal that bad?" -<>- .-=-. ////"\\ .=. ( 6 6 ) //"\\ \ - / (/6 6\) _.) (._ )\ = /(-` `:` `\ _(_ ) ( _)-| : |\ \ (_/ `\_/` \ | : |/ / / (_ @ _) \\_ : _/ / \ \)___(/ / |===|_) \/`"""`\/ | L | | | | | | | | | | | |_____| | | | ||| | | | ||| | | | ||| |_|_| jgs / Y \ / T \ `"`"` `"`"` >Husband's call: "Honey it's me. I don't want to alarm you but I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have checked me over and done some tests and some x-rays. "The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any serious internal injury. However I have three broken ribs and a compound fracture in the left leg. However, the doctors think it will be OK, but they want to monitor the leg for a few days to make sure there are no complications. I'm in room 406 at Baptist East." Wife's Response: "Who is Paula?" And if you find that hard to believe, you've never been married. -<>- Looking through the want ads last week, I came across a job that required a college degree or the equivalent. Finally, I thought, my eight years of high school are paying off." -<>- I prefer to describe myself as a "Contemporary Anthropological Interactive Observer" because it has just the right amount of flair. Besides...."stalker" is such an ugly word. -<>- A lot of people wonder how you know if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this one question: "Would I mind being destroyed financially by this person?" -<>- |..| ? ? c >| ? \'/ /><\ unknown Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, frequently humorous. 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right--only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 9. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you. 10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.' 11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy. 12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 16. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now. ========================================================= _________ __ / ______ _____ / / / / __ __/ __ / / ---- /__ / / / ---- ______ / / / :F_P: >-->From Our Friend Joyce :) Ladies ever wonder Which Movie Star you are most like? Guys Ever take a personality test to see how you shape up? Don't read ahead please! Well, a team of researchers got together and analyzed personalities. Their gathered info has been incorporated into this quiz. There are only 10 questions so it doesn't take long. Number your paper from 1 to 10, then Answer each question with the choice that most describes you at this point in your life, and then add up the points that correspond with your answers. Send this to all of your friends And don't ruin the fun by not responding. Don't look ahead or you will ruin the fun! 1 Which describes your perfect date? a) Candlelight dinner for two b) Amusement Park c) Rollerblading in the park d) Rock Concert e) Have dinner & see a movie f) Dinner at home with a loved one 2. What is your favorite type of music? a) Rock and Roll b) Alternative c) Soft Rock d) Classical e) Christian f) Jazz 3. What is your favorite type of movie? a) Comedy b) Horror c) Musical d) Romance e) Documentary f) Mystery 4. Which of the following jobs would you choose if you were given only these choices? a) Waiter/Waitress b) Sports Player c) Teacher d) Policeman e) Bartender f) Business person 5. Which would you rather do if you had an hour to waste? a) Work out b) Make out c) Watch TV d) Listen to the radio e) Sleep f) Read 6. Of the following colors, which do you like best? a) Yellow b) White c) Sky blue d) Teal e) Gold f) Red 7. Which one of the following would you like to eat right now? a) Ice cream b) Pizza c) Sushi d) Pasta e) Salad f) Lobster Tail 8. Which is your favorite holiday? a) Halloween b) Christmas c) New Year's d) Valentine's Day e) Thanksgiving f) Fourth of July 9. If you could go to any of the following places, which would it be? a) Reno b) Spain c) Las Vegas d) Hawaii e) Hollywood f) British Columbia 10. Of the following, who would you rather spend time with? a) Someone who is smart b) Someone with good looks c) Someone who is a party animal d) Someone who has fun all the time e) Someone who is very emotional f) Someone who is fun to be with Now total up your points on each question: 1 a-4 b-2 c-5 d-1 e-3 f-6 2. a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-3 f-6 3. a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-5 f-6 4. a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-1 f-6 5. a-5 b-4 c-2 d-1 e-3 f-6 6. a-1 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-4 f-6 7. a-3 b-2 c-1 d-4 e-5 f-6 8. a-1 b-3 c-2 d-4 e-5 f-6 9. a-4 b-5 c-1 d-4 e-3 f-6 10. a-5 b-2 c-1 d-3 e-4 f-6 NOW, take your total and find out who you are: (10-17 points) (Gals You are a MADONNA:) You are wild and crazy and you know it. You know how to have fun, but you may take it to extremes. You know what you are doing though, and are much in control of your own life. People don't always see things your way, but that doesn't mean that you should do away with your beliefs. Try to remember that your wild spirit can lead to hurting yourself and others. (18-26 points) (Gals You are a DORIS DAY:) You are fun, friendly, and popular! You are a real crowd pleaser. You have probably been out on the town your share of times, yet you come home with the values that your mother taught you. Marriage and children are very important to you, but only after you have fun. Don't let the people you please influence you to stray. (27-34 points) (Gals You are a DEBBIE REYNOLDS:) You are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing. You never hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt. Life is a breeze. You are witty, and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of back stabbers, and you are worry-free. (35-42 points) (Gals You are a GRACE KELLY:) You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all commitments and are a family person. You call your Mom every Sunday, and never forget a Birthday. Don't let your passion for romance get confused with the real thing. (43-50 points) (Gals You are a KATHERINE HEPBURN:) You are smart, a real thinker. Every situation is approached with a plan. You are very healthy in mind and body. You don't take crap from anyone. You have only a couple of individuals that you consider "real friends". You teach strong family values. Keep your feet planted in them, but don't overlook a bad situation when it does happen. (51-60 points) (Gals You are an ELIZABETH TAYLOR:) Everyone is in awe of you. You know what you want and how to get it. You have more friends than you know what to do with. Your word is your bond. Everyone knows when you say something it is money in the bank. You attract the opposite s%x. Your intelligence overwhelms most. Your memory is the next thing to photographic. Everyone admires you because you are so considerate and lovable. You know how to enjoy life and treat people right. Now put your Movie Star in the subject line (unless you are a guy then put your points in the subject), then forward and share with your friends, including the person who sent it to you! --- ...I got KATHERINE HEPBURN :) =================================================================== >-->From JokeCentral: ...This One the Guys will like better ;) _________ __ / ______ _____ / / / / __ __/ __ / / ---- /__ / / / ---- ______ / / / :F_P: >How S%xy is your Name? According to studies, the first letter of your FIRST NAME reveals your s%xual identity. A You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up front person. When it comes to s%x, it's action that counts not obscure hints. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate and s%xual as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are your primary concern. B You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an statement of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your statement of endearments and particularly when it comes to lovemaking. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite and abstain from s%x if need be. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment. C You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You must be able to talk to your partner before, during, and after. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very s%xual and sensual, needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to go for long periods without s%xual activity. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without. D Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly s%xual, passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement, sometimes possessive and jealous. Love to you is a pleasure to be enjoyed. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open mind. E Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested s%xually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for a bedmate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important than the s%xual act for you, but once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don't have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book. Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book. F You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, s%xual, and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover. G You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of erotic stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active s%xually that is, when you find the time. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to a lover, but no trouble getting close s%xually. H You seek a mate who can enhance your reputation and earning ability. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be frugal in your spending and dating habits and equally cautious in your s%xual involvement. You are a sensual and patient lover. I You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... even worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of s%xual statement. You bore easily and thus require s%xual adventure and change. You are more sensual than s%xual, but you are sometimes downright lustful. J You are very romantic, idealistic, and somehow you believe that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate or attracting people who have unusual troubles. You see yourself as your lover's savior. You are sincere, passionate, lustful, and dreamy. You can't help falling in love. You really enjoy stimulating yourself, though you are fairly new to it. You fantasize and get turned on by movies and magazines. You do not tell others of this secret life, nor of your s%xual fantasies. K You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your statement of love and are willing to take chances, try new s%xual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. L You are totally fricking marvelous! M You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total s%xual freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of s%xual energy is inexhaustible. You also enjoy mothering your mate. N You suck in bed. Much practice and learning is needed. O You are very interested in s%xual activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your s%xual energy into making money and/or seeking power. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate, s%xual lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. s%x is serious business; thus you demand intensity and diversity, and are willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check. P You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count, therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy; A good fight stimulates those s%x vibes. You are relatively free of s%xual hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification. Q You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you, s%xually or otherwise. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people of other ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and lots of conversation to turn you on and keep you going. R You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is very important to you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very s%xy, but you do not brag, you are willing to serve as teacher. s%x is important; you can be a very demanding playmate. S You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very s%xy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. T You are very sensitive, private, and s%xually passive; you like a partner who takes the lead. Music, soft lights and romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize, but do not tend to fall in and out of love easily. When in love, you are romantic, idealistic, mushy, and extremely intense. You enjoy having your senses and your feelings stimulated, titillated, and teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, oftentimes all in your own head. U You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a roamer and need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate looking good. Your s%x drive is strong and you desire instant ratification. You are willing to put your partner's pleasures above your own. V You are individualistic, and you need freedom, space, and excitement. You wait until you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psycho-ing him out. You feel a need to get into his head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. Often there is an age difference between you and your lover. You respond to danger, thrills, and suspense. The gay scene turns you on, even though you yourself may not be a participant. W You are very proud, determined, and you refuse to take no for an answer when pursuing love. Your ego is at stake. You are romantic, idealistic, and often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner as he or she really is. You feel deeply and throw all of yourself into your relationships. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy playing love games. X You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You talk while you make love. You can have the greatest love affairs, all by yourself, in your own head. Y You are s%xual, sensual, and very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forgo the whole thing. You want to control your relationships, which doesn't always work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation, enjoy necking and spending hours just touching, feeling and exploring. However, if you can spend your time making money, you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You need to prove to yourself and your partner what a great lover you are. You want feedback on your performance. You are an open, stimulating, romantic bedmate. Z For you, it is business before pleasure. If you are in any way bothered by career, business, or money concerns, you find it very hard to relax and get into the mood. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and are capable of much sensuality. But you never lose control of your emotions. You are very careful and cautious before you give your heart away and your body, for that matter. Once you make the commitment, though, you stick like glue. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. ========================================================= ______ __________________: ( _____ ) ( ) / / - - \ \ ( Hmmm... now where ) | |-O-O-| | o O ( IS that brain ) |( () )| ( of mine? ) | \ \_/ / | ( _________________ ) / --- \ (___) (___) unknown >-->From The Jokester: Blondes! There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!" -<>- The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded, "The living one." -<>- A police detective asked a blonde officer, "I thought you had all the exits covered? How did the suspect get away?" She replied, "I don't know. Maybe he used one of the entrances!" -<>- Two blondes living in Texas were sitting on a bench talking... the one blonde says to the other. "What do you think is farther... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooooooooooooo.... can you see Florida?" -<>- >Football Analysis by a Blonde A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" _.-'~~`~~'-._ .'` B E R `'. "Well I saw them flip a coin / I T \ /` .-'~"-. `\ and one team got it ; L / `- \ Y ; ; /> `. -.| ; and then for the rest | /_ '-.__) | | |- _.' \ | | of the game, all they ; `~~; \\ ; ; INGODWE / \\)P ; kept screaming was: \ TRUST '.___.-'`" / `\ /` '._ 1 9 9 7 _.' jgs `'-..,,,..-'` 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!" Hel-LLLO! It's only 25 cents! -<>- ___ ___ '::|_|_| '::|_|_|'.:|_|_| '.:|_|_| _,,--~~|~~--,,_ /` | `\ | 7 _( ___ |.|\|:-)|__ |'| |___| / |_| /:::\ ~ David Riley Blondie enters a store that sell curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains." The salesman assured her that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed her several patterns, but the blond seemed to be having a hard time choosing. Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman asked what size curtains she needed. The blonde replies, "Fifteen inches." "Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?" The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for her computer monitor. The surprised salesman replies, "But, Miss, computers do not have curtains!" Blondie says, "Hellllooooooooo...... I've got Windows!" ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Hubby To-Do's!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hubby.html Identity Theft 6!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft6.html For Coffee Lovers!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coffee.html Only In Canada!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onlyincanada.html Little Help Please!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/helpplease.html Only In Australia!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/australia.html Humor With Golf!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golfhumor.html Kids Being Kids 5!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kids5.html IRONIC Isn't It 3?- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony3.html Humorous Signs 5!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hsigns5.html Comedy In Nature!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comedyinnature.html Taking A Catnap 2!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catnap2.html Big Baby Big Dogs 2!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigdogs2.html Humor In Religion 6!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hreligion6.html World's Largest Web!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/web.html Got A Nanosecond 7?- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano7.html Humor With Fishing!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fishinghumor.html Beware Of Dog Signs!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bewareofdog.html World's Fastest Cars!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fastcars.html Come Smile With Me!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/smilewithme.html Look Who's Talking 13!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking13.html Thoughts Into Action 4!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action4.html Silly Veggies! https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/veggies.html Funny Gotcha Moments!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gotcha.html Humor With Computers!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/computerhumor.html SUMMER INDEX PAGE!- https://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/summerindex.html -<>- How to Become a Christian - How to Get Born Again / How to Get Saved / Romans 10:9 & 10 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMzblR8YDQ0 Bible https://quod.lib.umich.edu/k/kjv/ Bible Study Index http://www.absolutebiblestudy.com/Contents.htm Bible Teaching Videos - John Schoenheit Spirit And Truth https://tinyurl.com/2gyn3f35 ======================================================= >-->Past Quotes & Thunkers: "A company has announced a new service where you carpool with strangers. It's a new cutting-edge technology called 'a bus.'" -Conan O'Brien "Dunkin' Donuts announced they have created their first-ever coffee-flavored doughnut. First ever? Your name is Dunkin' Donuts. Your name is a recipe for coffee-flavored doughnuts." -Seth Meyers "The new 'Ninja Turtles' movie that opens today. I had a pet turtle when I was a kid. He taught me a lot. For instance, he taught me I love the taste of turtle soup." -Craig Ferguson "The Library of Congress has partnered with Twitter to store every tweet ever posted. The Library of Congress is home to some of the most important documents in history including the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and now it will so include tweets from Gretchen44, who likes strawberry balsamic vinegar on her salad." -Jimmy Kimmel "They have discovered a planet just like Earth, 600 light- years away and they are calling it 'Superearth.' They have affordable housing and better schools but other than that, it's just like Earth." -Dave Letterman "A kindergarten teacher in Florida was arrested for trafficking Oxycodone. Other teachers became suspicious when she had the only class in school with a six-hour naptime." -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah, Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- https://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $35 will get your ad message (of up to 40 words) out to all web site list readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: https://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe **********************************************************************